Curb Your Enthusiasm 8x8

1. Hey!

2. Hey, what are you doing? I'm standing here.

3. I was here first.

4. I don't care. I'm getting the cab.

5. - What, you upstream me? - Everybody upstreams, you idiot.

6. You don't stand there like a jackass.

7. That's anarchy. We need some rules.

8. Whatever.

9. Come on, come on, come on.

10. You got it, you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it.

11. All right, we'll do 30 seconds and one more... the last one.

12. - What? This was "One more." - No, the last one.

13. You said one more; I did one more.

14. Okay, all right. How's your shoulder? You seem like you're more...

15. - The shoulder feels good, I swear. - Great.

16. - Great job. You're fantastic. - Thank you.

17. - Tomorrow? - Tomorrow 2:00, same time.

18. - Beautiful. - Fist-bump me out.

19. - Yeah, okay. - Nice. See ya.

20. - See ya. Thanks. - Yeah.

21. Boy oh boy, my shoulder feels fantastic.

22. What are you doing?

23. This new trainer completely cured me.

24. He massages it. He gives you exercises for it.

25. I don't like trainers, not into them.

26. I don't like being told what to do.

27. Yeah, right. That's why you married Susie?

28. Yes, that's...

29. 'cause she doesn't tell you what to do.

30. All right, I got the point. I got the point.

31. No wonder why you don't like being told what to do.

32. What I was saying was I don't like trainers 'cause I don't want more people...

33. You don't want more people telling you what to do.

34. Yeah, that's what it is.

35. I stink.

36. We really gotta get going, man.

37. Where the hell are you taking me?

38. I'm taking you to an inventor.

39. What do they invent?

40. I have no idea what he's invented

41. or what he's about to invent or what's going on.

42. So what, he's pitching us his inventions?

43. My cousin, all his friends say this guy is brilliant.

44. - I'm an inventor. - You're not an inventor.

45. I have a million ideas for things.

46. That doesn't mean you're an inventor.

47. - I just don't know how to implement it. - What have you invented?

48. A ski that comes in two pieces.

49. You screw it on, okay? Like a pool cue.

50. - Wait a minute. A ski that you screw on? - A ski, yes yes.

51. So you don't have to carry these big giant skis around.

52. - Where do I buy that? - Like I said, I need the implementer.

53. Okay, you're an idea man.

54. Go with me on that one. You're an idea man.

55. I'm an idea man who comes up with inventions.

56. No, there are no inventions in your world.

57. Well, that's an invention.

58. The ski that comes in two pieces is an invention.

59. - That's an invention. - If you implement it.

60. Well, we have a difference of opinion on implementation.

61. All right, we gotta get going.

62. Literally a couple more balls

63. and then we gotta go to the inventor.

64. There we go.

65. This is where I lost my virginity... on this block.

66. - You're kidding me. - Yeah, Great Jones and Lafayette.

67. - You did not. You're lying. - Yeah, right in that building over there.

68. - Shut up. You did not. - Yes, Susan Fleschner, swear to God.

69. - Susan Fleschner? - Yeah, right in that building.

70. - That's unbelievable. - I know.

71. The mirrors, which are at a 45° angle...

72. There's a mirror on the bottom and a mirror on the top, right?

73. That's how it works. And you just...

74. You push a button in the car and it comes right up.

75. - A car periscope. That's great. - A car periscope, exactly.

76. - You know what? - What?

77. I've actually thought of that.

78. I swear. I've been in cars

79. and I wanted... you know, I'm stuck in traffic

80. and I'm thinking there should be a periscope.

81. You thought of... You actually thought of...

82. Yeah, I honestly did. It's a great idea.

83. But you just didn't know what to do with the idea.

84. No, of course not.

85. Anyway, so what I did was, I have a crude prototype, right,

86. I mean, kind of like this that I'd mounted in my own Volvo.

87. I mean, I'd love for you to test-drive it.

88. But what I'm looking to raise money for is this.

89. Here we have a fully articulated antenna, okay?

90. It's locked up into the car. You push a button on the dashboard.

91. It comes up. Then a camera at the top

92. sends a live image to a screen, onto the dashboard,

93. just like if you put the car in reverse... you know, you see that picture.

94. - Fantastic. - And let me ask you this question:

95. - Yes, sure. - Can you see over S.U.V.S?

96. Of course. This periscope

97. is going to be on every single car in the world.

98. Everyone wants to see where the traffic is.

99. Everyone wants to see what's going on ahead of them.

100. Remember these?

101. Do you know a kid once stabbed me in class?

102. - These things are dangerous. - Guess what:

103. With the pencil side, thank God. That side...

104. I wouldn't be here looking at your invention.

105. You know what? I could make circles for, like, four hours.

106. - Really? - I love these so much, yes.

107. The perfect circle. The perfect circle, come on.

108. Compass.

109. So that's... That's basically it.

110. - Hey, I have an idea for something. - Yeah?

111. You know, when people go skiing,

112. - the ski's, like, really long, right? - Yeah.

113. I'm thinking like a ski that you screw in like a pool cue

114. so it's easy to carry.

115. What do you think?

116. - Well, it's an idea. It's an idea. - Yeah.

117. But that's not really an invention.

118. Where do we come in on this?

119. Well, so what I'm looking for is $250,000.

120. - $250,000? - Seed money.

121. That's basically it.

122. Excuse me one second.

123. Well, you know what?

124. You know, it's pretty... I mean, I like it, but...

125. It's a great idea, but really who is this guy?

126. Why should we trust him?

127. This could be a big, elaborate con game for all we know.

128. You think it could be a con game?

129. You know, look at "The Sting." That's elaborate.

130. I never saw it. I saw "The Sting II."

131. You didn't see "The Sting"?

132. No, but "The Sting II," Jackie Gleason... pretty good.

133. You saw "The Sting II"?

134. What kind of idiot sees "Sting II" and not "Sting I"?

135. I don't remember back then, but I'm just telling you

136. I didn't see "Sting I." I saw "Sting II."

137. You must be the only person in the world

138. who saw "Sting II" and not "Sting I."

139. - And didn't see "Sting I"? - Yeah, I would bet that you are.

140. All right, look, here's what we'll tell him:

141. "We'll think about it."

142. - It's a great idea. - It is, I gotta say.

143. - Hey. - So what do you think?

144. - We'll think about it. - Yeah yeah, we're gonna think about it.

145. A little bit of investment is gonna go a long way.

146. - Sounds exciting. - It's a very exciting project.

147. - Thank you. - I'm very... I'm really excited about it.

148. - Thanks. Very nice to meet you. - Yes, same.

149. - Hi. - Hi.

150. - Gaby. - Hi Gaby. Jeff.

151. - Jeff, hi. Nice to meet you. - Hi. Larry.

152. - Larry, hi. - Hi.

153. Oh, I'm Ira's wife.

154. Oh, okay okay.

155. - Did you guys like the invention? - Sure, yes.

156. - Hey honey. - Hi baby.

157. Yes? Good good. Thank you.

158. - Very clever. - Yeah, isn't it so cool? He is so talented.

159. Yeah, we're gonna be thinking about it. We'll talk to you soon.

160. Okay, sounds great.

161. I think we can make a lot of money with it too.

162. - I hope so. Nice meeting you. Take care. - Okay, take care.

163. Nice to meet you.

164. Thank you. Bye.

165. - Nice job. - They're sweet, right?

166. Okay, can I tell you something?

167. Any questions I had about this guy

168. were just answered.

169. Without a doubt.

170. He's smart. He's good-looking.

171. He can have anybody. He chose her.

172. That tells you everything you need to know.

173. This guy's got integrity.

174. I trust him now.

175. - I trust him completely. - I trust him.

176. - You trust him too? - I do, absolutely.

177. You know what? We need to test-drive it though.

178. - All right, let's go tell him. - We gotta test the prototype.

179. You two are a couple of schmucks,

180. - you know that? - What?

181. This looks like an eighth-grade science experiment,

182. this thing. That's what it looks like.

183. - It's not what it's gonna be. - What is it gonna be?

184. No, there's gonna be an antenna with a camera attached

185. and you'll see it on the screen in the front.

186. Yeah, and how much money is that gonna cost?

187. I don't know.

188. I don't trust him.

189. Oh, we're never gonna get to the party.

190. Look at this... Standstill traffic.

191. What's all this? What's causing this?

192. Oh hey.

193. Oh!

194. - All right, you're not gonna believe this. - What?

195. We've got a garbage truck at 12:00.

196. You go to your left. Go to your left.

197. - What, seriously? - Really?

198. - Go to your left! - All right, I'm going.

199. - You really see something? - Yeah.

200. - Oh! - Oh my God!

201. - Look at this! - Yeah!

202. I see the garbage truck. Unbelievable. Wow.

203. - We're moving. - Yeah!

204. I'm willing to admit I'm wrong.

205. This might really be a real thing.

206. That was unbelievable.

207. It's so great to see you here in New York. It's like a treat.

208. Thank you.

209. You know, Wanda's place in L.A. is haunted.

210. - That's why she's out here. - Oh, stop it. What are you doing here?

211. No no, I'm here because L.A. was haunted.

212. But now New York is haunted.

213. - Why? 'Cause he's here? Right? I know. - Yeah yeah.

214. And you look fantastic, by the way.

215. - Thank you. - Fantastic.

216. - Larry, can I say something? - What?

217. - You look beautiful too. - Thank you, Jeff.

218. - No, really beautiful. - I got this fantastic trainer... Terry.

219. I couldn't even hold a glass a few weeks ago 'cause of my elbow.

220. He fixed my elbow. He fixed my shoulder. The guy's great.

221. I'm looking for somebody. Why don't you send me his information?

222. - He's gonna change your life. - All right.

223. You know, life that sorely needs changing.

224. - Oh, stop it. - Well, email me his information.

225. I will. I will email it to you.

226. I'm still at the same email... ihatelarry.

227. Yeah.

228. I'm gonna go mingle.

229. - We'll see you later. - All right, you mingle.

230. Well, that'd be a nice thing for you to do.

231. I happen to be in top physical shape.

232. Top physical shape?

233. - Yes, I am. - As compared to what?

234. - How is everybody doing? - Hey. Hi.

235. - Hey, Henry, how are you doing, pal? - How are you doing, Jeff?

236. - What an apartment. What a beautiful space. - Oh, beautiful.

237. - Thank you, thank you. - Hi Henry.

238. - How are you doing, Larry? - Good. How's your dad, by the way?

239. Well, you know, he's getting up there.

240. - He's in his mid-'80s. - Uh-huh.

241. - And he's got good days and bad days. - Mm-hmm.

242. I actually moved him in with me.

243. - Really? - Wow.

244. Yeah, he lives here, in the back bedroom there.

245. Oh, wow.

246. - You know who his dad is, right? - No.

247. - Judge Horn. - Your dad's Judge Horn?

248. - Judge Carter Horn. - Oh my God, I love Judge Horn.

249. That was my favorite show. I used to race home to watch that.

250. - Oh my God. - Thank you.

251. I would laugh for hours about him screaming at the defendants...

252. "You're not prepared, young lady!

253. Where are the pictures?"

254. Judge Horn, wow. That is something.

255. Yeah. Anyway, thanks for stopping by.

256. - Thanks for having us, man. - You guys have everything you need?

257. - Yeah, we're all good. - I'm gonna mingle a little bit.

258. - I'll circle around. - Go mingle.

259. - Judge Horn, huh? - I loved him... loved him.

260. You know what? I should go say hello to him, shouldn't I?

261. Yeah, that would be nice.

262. I always think of nice things

263. but I never act on them. What is that?

264. It's like you with inventions:

265. You think of inventions; You never do the inventions.

266. - I don't implement. - Yeah.

267. I could do it right now. By God, I'm gonna go into that room and do it.

268. - Okay. - Go.

269. I am going to do something nice

270. - right now. - You don't need no implementer. Go.

271. - I'm going. I'm doing it. - It's about time.

272. He has to announce it. He can't just do something nice.

273. - Oh, shut up. - He has to announce it.

274. "Woman."

275. Double letters go for the "W."

276. Eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, times three... 42.

277. Hey.

278. Judge Horn.

279. Yeah.

280. Larry... Larry David.

281. - Hi Larry. - Nice to meet you.

282. - Hey, how are you doing? - Oh, hey.

283. - What do I do? - Yeah, whichever you want.

284. There you go. How are you doing?

285. That's a tough decision for me.

286. Right?

287. Yeah, I see people struggle with it every day.

288. People are confused when they shake hands... lefty, righty.

289. What, righty... You go backhand, right?

290. - Go up normal... - They go like that.

291. - Right, and then I have to go like that. - Yeah yeah.

292. Sometimes I wish I had one arm when I'm cuddling in bed with a woman,

293. 'cause the other arm gets in the way all the time,

294. so, you know, could be an advantage

295. in that situation.

296. Yeah yeah.

297. Hey, could you do me a favor, Larry?

298. I got something to do. And he's a pleasure to play with.

299. So why don't you sit down and take my place? I appreciate it, Larry.

300. - What? - Thank you.

301. All right, fine. I'll play a little scrabble.

302. Yeah.

303. My father was a huge huge fan of yours.

304. He used to watch you all the time.

305. - Yeah? - Yeah.

306. A lot of kikes liked the show,

307. jigaboos too.

308. What's the matter? Are you not gonna play?

309. - Are you gonna cheat me too? - Hey, Dad, Dad, easy.

310. Are you all right? What's going on?

311. - 217 to 67? - What? Oh, I...

312. - Can I talk to you outside for a second, Larry? - Yeah, but I wasn't...

313. May I talk to you outside for a second?

314. What a great pleasure to meet you.

315. Outside the room.

316. What are you do... How could you do that?

317. Do what?

318. Taking advantage of my father at scrabble?

319. I didn't play him. I wasn't playing him.

320. - You weren't playing him? - No, I...

321. - Who else was there, Larry? - I took over for a one-armed man.

322. There was a one-armed man playing him.

323. A one... A one-armed man?

324. Yes, he had a work uniform like he was fixing an air conditioner.

325. Larry, Larry, I'm having a party.

326. We don't have any maintenance people up here doing work.

327. Excuse me, did you see a one-armed man?

328. No. A one-armed man? No.

329. Did anybody see... did anybody see a one-armed man?

330. There was a one-armed man here.

331. Larry, there's no one-armed man.

332. Look, you took advantage of my father, okay?

333. And then now you're coming up with some fictitious person

334. - who did it instead. - Oh, your father.

335. Oh, poor poor sweet, innocent dad.

336. You should hear some of the racial epithets this guy was using in there.

337. - It's disgusting. - My father has dementia, Larry.

338. - Oh, that's an excuse? - Yes.

339. That racism is in there somewhere. It's like a drunk...

340. What, they're saying these things because they're drunk? No, it's in there.

341. Larry, I'm not gonna listen to this anymore, all right?

342. You abuse my father in scrabble... a game he loves, okay?

343. I didn't beat him. The one-armed man did it.

344. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, Larry.

345. - Fine. Fine, I'm leaving. - Because I'm getting really upset here.

346. You know what? I'm gonna find that one-armed man

347. and I'm gonna bring him to you.

348. You'll see. You'll see.

349. So a one-armed man

350. playing scrabble with a racist judge?

351. What did he say that was so racist?

352. - I can't even repeat it... disgusting. - Really?

353. So I told Henry and he says, "No no, he's got dementia.

354. It's not racism. It's dementia."

355. All right, now get to your left a little bit.

356. Yeah, Henry's using the dementia

357. as an excuse for the racism.

358. - There's a fine line there. - Dementia has nothing to do with racism.

359. I know. My grandfather had dementia.

360. He wasn't a racist.

361. He thought I was his dead sister, but he wasn't a racist.

362. Did you look like your great-aunt?

363. - You know what? I actually did. - Really?

364. I swear to God, I looked exactly...

365. I looked exactly like her.

366. She was the belle of Brighton.

367. This thing is so great. I mean, it's unbelievable.

368. Three blocks ahead I see we're heading for trouble.

369. Three blocks ahead there's a guy with his truck.

370. - Let me take a look. - All right.

371. Oh my... Jeff,

372. it's the one-armed man. I swear to God.

373. He's crossing the street. Check it out.

374. I see one arm. Are you sure that's the right one-armed man?

375. That's him.

376. Okay, he's going down the street over there.

377. I want to track him down.

378. Stay in the right lane.

379. - Stay to your right. - Okay.

380. Damn it, where is he?

381. Right down there!

382. I can't turn down that block. It's one-way.

383. All right, go down. We'll make a right.

384. We'll head him off at the pass.

385. Go go go.

386. All right, make a right. Make a right.

387. Come on, come on, come on, come on.

388. Beautiful! Look at that... beautiful.

389. So he should be anywhere up here.

390. This is it. This is the block.

391. - Anywhere up here. - Where the hell is he?

392. Look out!

393. It's him! Hey!

394. Wait, hey!

395. He went down to the subway.

396. Shit.

397. That was him.

398. Sorry. Sorry about that.

399. Hello.

400. - Hey, it's Terry. How's it going? - Oh, hey Terry.

401. Listen, I'm sorry to do this, but I gotta cancel today's 2:00.

402. Oh. Okay, fine. But I'll see you tomorrow at 2:00.

403. I don't have my book in front of me,

404. but we can definitely work something out.

405. What do you mean, work something out?

406. I have a 2:00. I don't get it. What are we working out?

407. Listen, I'm spotting somebody right now at the gym.

408. I gotta run. Take care. Bye.

409. Larry, as your business manager,

410. I cannot advocate you putting your money into this.

411. An automobile periscope... It's nutty.

412. I don't like my clients to invest in inventions.

413. I had a client... He threw away millions

414. on a two-part ski that would come together like a pool cue.

415. What?

416. Millions of dollars he lost on a nutty idea like that.

417. Are you serious? That's my idea. I had that idea.

418. People's legs would snap like that.

419. I don't think so. They could perfect that.

420. And you'd be carrying it like a pool cue.

421. I mean, I love your exuberance

422. and your enthusiasm for inventions,

423. but it shows that in this area

424. your judgment is not good.

425. All right, can I tell you something?

426. I believe in this inventor.

427. Why?

428. Have you done a background check? I mean, inventors...

429. He has... He has character.

430. - I know it when I see it. - I'm sorry.

431. Yeah, send her in, sure.

432. Is it okay if my wife comes in for a moment?

433. Sure.

434. - Hi honey. How are you? - Hi. Good.

435. - Sorry to interrupt. - Britney, this is Larry. Larry... Britney.

436. Larry, nice to meet you. I'm just coming by

437. to make sure that you're okay for the Hamptons.

438. All good.

439. 4:00, the car will be downstairs waiting for you.

440. - Okay. - All right? Can't wait.

441. - Love you. - You too.

442. Nice to meet you.

443. That's your wife?

444. Yes.

445. Oh my God.

446. I don't think we can work together anymore.

447. What are you talking about? Why?

448. She's beautiful.

449. Yes, thank you.

450. I don't like what that says about you.

451. What does it say about me? It says I have good judgment.

452. It says you're a very superficial man.

453. - Superficial? - No depth.

454. You can't judge me because I have a beautiful wife.

455. Eh, I think I can.

456. I can't trust you with my money. I'm sorry.

457. - Larry, come on. - Sorry, Nathan.

458. I'll... I'll be in touch.

459. Sorry... sorry it didn't work out.

460. - So moist. - Yeah.

461. Very moist.

462. - I'm really full. - You ate a lot.

463. - That was good. - How could you not? It's so good.

464. I don't want to be pushy or anything like that,

465. but I know that you drove the car

466. and I just wanted to know how you felt about it.

467. Well, you know, we drove it and...

468. All right.

469. - Oh my God. - Oh my God, oh my God.

470. - That is... oh my God. - Can I honestly say

471. you are the first inventor I've ever handed a check to?

472. - Me too. Me too. - Oh my.

473. - You won't regret this. - I don't think we will.

474. I gotta tell you something... We had so much fun

475. using the prototype, you have no idea.

476. We love it. We just love it.

477. - Is the car outside? - Let me show you where it is.

478. I'm gonna get him into the prototype, get him his keys back.

479. All right? We'll be back.

480. - Thank you, thank you. - Oh yeah, okay.

481. - I'll meet you outside. - I'm gonna just have a little bit more.

482. - Thank you for your trust. - You're welcome.

483. - Thank you, thank you. - Okay, guys. It's so good.

484. You know, I was actually planning

485. on taking that dish home with me.

486. Oh yeah. Well, not now.

487. We could get you another one. I'll pay for it if you want.

488. It's not the money. I did order it.

489. Mm, that's so good.

490. You know, it's so wonderful

491. that we're gonna be working like this together,

492. - don't you think? - I know.

493. I know. I'm so happy.

494. You're so funny.

495. Oh, I'm feeling faint. I'm feeling faint, hold on.

496. Are you?

497. - I just need a shoulder to rest on for a second. - Oh, lie down, rest.

498. - I just need to rest for a second. - Oh my God, God forbid.

499. It's all right. It's okay.

500. It's okay.

501. Why don't you go meet up with them?

502. - Okay, thank you. - Okay? You're welcome.

503. I'm so full.

504. Hey hey. Bye.

505. Bye. Love you too.

506. - Henry. - Great to run into you again.

507. - What a surprise. - Total surprise. Total surprise.

508. Um, who was that?

509. Oh, that was my girlfriend.

510. She seems lovely.

511. She is... She is the best.

512. I can tell. You guys...

513. I'm gonna marry her if she'll have me.

514. - Really? - Makes me feel so good.

515. Henry, I like myself when I'm with her.

516. Larry, it's so clear that I misjudged you.

517. And I can see now

518. you are a man of great character.

519. You got that right.

520. I just would like to apologize

521. for my behavior at the party.

522. Henry, I don't mind telling you it stung.

523. Are we all right?

524. We're fine. We're cool. We are so cool.

525. - Thank you. - All right.

526. - Thank you. Um... - Okay, all right.

527. Anything else?

528. I was wondering if I could ask you

529. to do me a huge favor.

530. Sure.

531. My dad goes to the park every day to play scrabble.

532. I think it'd be wonderful if you showed up...

533. Oh, here you go.

534. H-A-D...

535. - "Had." - Had?

536. Four and one... Five and two is seven.

537. Had? That's all you can think of... Had?

538. I guess I'm just not a very good player.

539. - I'm doing the best I can. - Oh, I can't believe that.

540. I'm sorry. I'm just not that good.

541. C-O-O-N.

542. Coon?

543. Coon.

544. Okay, that's not a word, all right?

545. - Oh, it is. - No no.

546. That's a racial epithet. That's not a word.

547. Oh no? Just look around you.

548. They're all over the park.

549. We're surrounded,

550. and after I put half of them away.

551. Okay, judge.

552. You know what? I'm gonna give you "coon."

553. That's big of you.

554. Let's play some scrabble.

555. I'm ready. I'm waiting.

556. Huh? Let's play.

557. Hey.

558. Hey.

559. - Uh, hey. - Hey, Lar.

560. What are you doing, Terry?

561. I... this is a little awkward.

562. We're working out. He's great.

563. This is my time.

564. - Look at me, Larry. - Yeah.

565. Who would you rather run around the park with, huh?

566. Why did you give her my time?

567. Just... to be totally honest, Larry,

568. she's paying me a little bit more.

569. Oh, that's great.

570. - It's nothing personal. - I have more to lose. I have more to lose.

571. This is my time, Wanda. This is not your time.

572. Why don't you guys figure this out?

573. Let me know what you decide.

574. I... sorry.

575. This is... yeah.

576. Why are you imposing on my time right here?

577. Imposing on your time? I recommended him to you.

578. Larry, 2:00 is my only open time.

579. It's my only open time too.

580. I don't know what to do here, okay?

581. I'm sorry.

582. We're clearly at an impasse here.

583. What do you want to do?

584. I don't know. What do you want to do?

585. - I got an idea. - What?

586. - You know Judge Horn from TV? - Oh yeah.

587. He's an impartial third party.

588. Why don't we let him decide? He's neutral.

589. Yeah, let's do it.

590. Whatever he decides we'll abide by.

591. Yeah, he's a judge. Okay.

592. - All right, we'll tell it to the judge. - Okay, whatever he says goes.

593. - Whatever he says goes. - That's it.

594. - That's it. - All right.

595. Hey Judge.

596. No, don't worry about Wanda, Terry.

597. We... you know, we kind of worked things out.

598. Good. Thank you.

599. - All right, so same time... 2:00?

600. Yeah, tomorrow 2:00.

601. - Great. I'll see you tomorrow. - All right.

602. Look forward to it. Okay.

603. - Hey hey hey hey. - I know, I know.

604. - Come on, come on. - He's all over me.

605. - I don't like it. - He doesn't care.

606. I will get the hell out of here if I see any touching at all.

607. - Oh stop. - I find human contact repulsive.

608. - Okay okay. - I know you think I'm kidding, but I'm not.

609. - Want some? - No, I'm good, thanks.

610. I'll have some.

611. I can't wait to see this movie.

612. It's gonna be great.

613. Yeah.

614. - I'm looking forward to it. - Yeah.

615. I'm gonna use the bathroom before the movie.

616. - I'll see you inside. - Okay, yeah.

617. I'll hold your popcorn.

618. Eh, not necessary.

619. It's no problem. You want to go to the bathroom. I'll hold your popcorn for you.

620. No no, I'll just take it into the bathroom. It's fine.

621. You're gonna take your popcorn into the bathroom?

622. That's disgusting.

623. Don't leave your popcorn in the bathroom.

624. The people and the skeevotz... it's disgusting.

625. No no no, I hold on to it. I actually... I munch and pee.

626. - No no, you can't. - You munch and pee?

627. - Yeah, I like to munch and pee. - Really?

628. Why don't you want me to hold the popcorn?

629. - Because obviously there's a problem. - There's no problem.

630. No, there's a little bit of a problem there.

631. Look, it's my popcorn. It's not necessary.

632. You don't want me to hold the popcorn, right?

633. Because what, you think I'm gonna eat your popcorn?

634. Eat my popcorn? That's...

635. Are you worried she's gonna eat your popcorn?

636. - Are you crazy? - I'm really uncomfortable with this.

637. - What are you talking about? - This is my wife.

638. - Yes yes, I know. - Larry, this is my wife. And you're accusing her.

639. I don't think I can be in business with you.

640. What?

641. - This is really bad. You can take your check. - Are you nuts?

642. - I'm a man of integrity. - Yeah, I know.

643. Obviously. I mean, that's why we...

644. Obviously?

645. What's that?

646. What the fuck does that mean?

647. No, only that, you know, he's a great inventor and...

648. Hold this.

649. What the fuck does that mean, huh?

650. What are you...? Oh here, take the popcorn.

651. Here, you can hold it. Hold it.

652. Take the popcorn. Here, take it.

653. I don't want it. Take it.

654. Arghh!

655. - Thanks for coming in, Larry. - Pleasure.

656. I don't know how many other business managers you're meeting with, but...

657. I'm seeing a few more.

658. All right. Well, listen,

659. I just wanted to give you a little bit of an idea

660. of what it's like to invest with me.

661. I'm somewhat risk-averse.

662. I would never, for instance, push you to something...

663. What was it? The... those screw-together skis I heard about,

664. which was... everyone just took an absolute bath.

665. - Oh, that ski idea. - Yeah, it was unbelievable.

666. - How stupid was that? - A lot of money lost.

667. But somebody came to me with an idea.

668. I find myself saying it's a multimillion-dollar idea.

669. It's a car periscope.

670. That's not gonna work. I can't do it.

671. I have a personal issue with the inventor,

672. so I'm out of that.

673. Oh, that is unfortunate.

674. You think that's a multimillion-dollar idea?

675. Me personally... I think it's a billion-dollar idea.

676. Oh God.

677. And that's... Ask around.

678. But as you make the rounds, as you make the rounds,

679. I just want you to definitely definitely definitely keep us in mind.

680. Okay, I will.

681. - And give a call... - Who's that?

682. Oh, that's my wife Amanda.

683. That's your wife?

684. Yep, met in college... 20 years.

685. You're hired.

686. Hey! Hey!

687. - You. - Oh shit.

688. I've been looking for you.

689. You got me in a lot of trouble with that scrabble game.

690. What are you talking about?

691. What were you doing in that apartment anyway?

692. None of your fucking business.

693. Hey, what are you doing? I was here first.

694. Are you upstreaming me? You can't upstream me.

695. - Up what? What are you...? - I was here first.

696. - What are you...? - Taxi!

697. What are you doing? Get out of here. Taxi!

698. - What, are you crazy? - Taxi!

699. - That's my cab. - Where?

700. Taxi!

701. - My cab. - What? Hey.

702. That's my cab, buddy.

703. Taxi!

704. Taxi!

705. I told you...

706. Get your own cab!

707. Dad!

708. Dad, oh my God. Dad!

709. Who did this to you?

710. The one-armed man!