1. It's okay.
Let it go.
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2. Let it go. This is pushing
buttons, and that's all right.
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3. - No, you're safe, you're safe.
- Uh...
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4. It's all right.
Let it go.
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5. - Oh my. Oh.
- Uh...
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6. - Oh.
- I just want to get some Chubby Hubby.
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7. Sir, could you please
give us a moment?
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8. Yeah, aw.
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9. Aw aw.
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10. Yes, aw.
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11. A little to the left...
Or the right.
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12. - Separate separate.
- Excuse me.
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13. I'm trying to get
to the Chubby Hubby.
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14. - Yes, you said that.
- Yeah.
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15. Yes, okay, that's a good girl.
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16. Oh oh my.
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17. Poor baby.
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18. Sir! Excuse me.
Now I've tried to be nice.
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19. I have asked you
to give us some space.
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20. - What's this about?
- None of your business.
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21. Personal...
It's a personal thing?
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22. - Would you please?
- Okay, all right.
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23. Thank you.
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24. Don't pay attention
to that jerk.
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25. Oh, it's okay.
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26. Oh, are you all right,
sweetheart?
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27. It's gonna be...
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28. You're not going
to believe this.
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29. Richard is dating
a burlesque dancer.
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30. - I had dinner with them.
- Really?
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31. I don't like to sound
like a pig,
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32. but she has magnificent breasts.
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33. - What's she like?
- She's dumb.
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34. All she wanted to talk about
was how she dances,
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35. how the crowd loves her and...
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36. - Oh, here he is.
- I'm sorry.
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37. - Huh?
- Let me alone. Don't yell at me.
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38. They moved the audition.
It's in 10 minutes.
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39. I was on the phone with an
ex-girlfriend who was suicidal,
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40. so I couldn't exactly hang up to
say I want to go to a salad bar.
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41. Wait, she's going to commit
suicide and she calls you?
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42. A lot of people call me
who are suicidal.
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43. I don't think you'd be
my suicide call.
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44. - You're kidding me.
- No, I don't think you'd be.
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45. What would bring you
to the brink of suicide?
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46. Can I ask him why he
wouldn't call me first?
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47. - What would bring you...
- Him.
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48. - He would?
- He would.
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49. So you'd be calling the guy
who caused you to... okay.
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50. By the way, are you dating
a burlesque dancer?
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51. - What makes you say that?
- We heard.
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52. I didn't say anything bad.
I said she was beautiful.
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53. Why do you have to blab about my
personal life?
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54. What do you mean? You didn't swear
him to secrecy. What's the big deal?
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55. Hey, if it wasn't
for fucking burlesque,
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56. we wouldn't have Chaplin
or the Marx brothers.
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57. Oh, Chaplin was
a great pole dancer.
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58. Admit it, the only reason
you're going out with her
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59. is because of her ample bosom.
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60. That's despicable to say that to me.
Of course not.
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61. - For her brains and her sense of worth.
- Have you set a date aside
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62. when you're going to
finally look at her face?
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63. That's...
That's really funny.
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64. Yeah, laugh it up.
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65. Listen, I have an audition
now, so if you don't mind.
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66. - I'll see you later.
- That's very funny.
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67. That's it?
You come for two minutes?
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68. - I told you why I'm late. I have an audition.
- All right.
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69. Quite frankly
I'm a little offended
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70. by you just focusing on a
woman's breasts and nipples
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71. when maybe I'm in love
with her, all right?
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72. - So how does that...
- You're always in love.
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73. No, I'm not always in love.
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74. She also gives to charity
and she has a great personality.
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75. - She gives to charity?
- That's right.
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76. - Milk?
- Huh?
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77. - She gives milk?
- That's funny too?
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78. You guys are on a fuckin' roll.
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79. - I'm out.
- Dance for underprivileged kids.
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80. - Charity!
- Gives to charity?
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81. All right, I gotta go.
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82. Look at the stuff that comes
out of his mouth.
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83. - I got an idea.
- Hmm?
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84. Why don't the three of us,
one night this week, go see her dance?
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85. - Hell yes.
- We're not doing anything wrong.
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86. No, let's go.
He never said we couldn't.
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87. We can't say anything to him.
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88. Who's gonna...
He doesn't need to know.
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89. We sit in the back.
I say we go.
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90. - What are you doing?
- I don't need to do that.
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91. - I did a hands in.
- Please, we don't need a hands in.
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92. I'm gonna get going.
You got lunch?
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93. - I got it. I got it.
- Okay, thank you.
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94. Yeah, let's go see her.
What the hell?
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95. Oh, you'll love it, believe me.
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96. Excuse me, I've just gotta
run out for one second.
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97. Could you just keep an eye
on my computer for me?
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98. - Sure.
- Thanks.
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99. Excuse me.
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100. Would you mind keeping
an eye on that computer?
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101. - The guy asked me, but I have to go.
- Um, yeah sure, okay.
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102. Good, thanks.
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103. Aha!
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104. Ha ha!
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105. Okay, this is the dog.
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106. This is the dog that's
been going on my lawn.
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107. - No bag? Where's your bag?
- Well...
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108. You know, life... it gets
so crazy sometimes.
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109. - Oh, life gets crazy?
- Yeah.
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110. If you're gonna have a dog,
you have to have a bag.
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111. I will bring a bag. I didn't bring a
bag today. I'm really sorry about that.
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112. Because the dog without the bag...
it's incomplete.
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113. It's a marriage.
The bag and the dog, they go together.
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114. I just don't see
why you had to yell at me.
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115. I'm yelling for society,
for everybody.
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116. - It's not just me.
- Got it.
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117. - People make mistakes.
- Every day?
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118. Roscoe, come.
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119. Don't you love this place?
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120. This shit is fucking amazing.
It's great.
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121. - Yeah.
- Do you love it?
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122. - What are you doing?
- I'm looking for Lewis.
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123. Let loose. He's not here.
Have a good time.
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124. We ought to do this
more often.
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125. Come to disgusting strip clubs?
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126. - Why is it disgusting?
- Disgusting? Fuckin'... that's a harsh word.
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127. Watch this shit.
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128. - That's her. That's her.
- That's her?
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129. It's like jell-o pudding
inside of those motherfuckers.
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130. She is communicating right now.
You understand?
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131. In Hawaii they move
hands and hips.
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132. Out here it's titties.
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133. The fuckin' titties
are talking right now.
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134. And what exactly
are they saying?
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135. Those titties are a blabbermouth,
you know what I'm talking about?
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136. They're fuckin' just
yippity-yapping right now.
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137. - Did you have fun?
- No, not really.
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138. - Boy, I had a blast.
- You know what I think?
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139. - What?
- I think Lewis has lost his mind.
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140. Why?
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141. I just saw his girlfriend's
tits, that's why.
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142. So what? He's not gonna marry her.
He's just having fun.
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143. How can you not tell me
you were going to see Stella?
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144. - She's my girlfriend, for Christ's sakes.
- Yeah, you're right.
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145. We probably should
have told you.
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146. But you didn't say
we shouldn't go.
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147. And by the way, if you're dating somebody
who takes their clothes off in public,
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148. then what's the difference?
Everybody's gonna see her.
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149. You went there like a pervert.
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150. Hey, I didn't
even see that much.
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151. What percentage of the show
did you look at her breasts?
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152. - I saw like...
- Hello, tiger.
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153. Hi, honey.
Good to see you.
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154. Hi, sweetie.
Sorry I'm late.
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155. This is Larry,
one of my oldest friends.
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156. - Hi, nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you.
- Hi.
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157. I thought you said he was old.
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158. - You don't seem that old.
- Well...
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159. - Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
- Mrs. Cole,
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160. I didn't know Marilyn Monroe
was on the base, sir.
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161. He made out like you were
a granddad, you know?
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162. You called me old?
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163. You're two days older than I am.
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164. You're a dissipated alcoholic.
How dare you?
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165. - Recovering alcoholic.
- All right, recovering.
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166. Okay, listen, sorry. I didn't mean
to start an argument or anything.
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167. That's okay. By the way,
I actually did see your show last night.
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168. - You came to see my show?
- Yes, I enjoyed the presentation.
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169. What do you know
about burlesque?
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170. I saw the movie "Gypsy"
with Natalie Wood.
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171. Oh, then you should be a professor
at Ohio state and teach this.
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172. It sounds like you
appreciate the art form.
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173. Well, I appreciate naked women.
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174. Did you like the air
fucking number I did?
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175. - The air fucking was sensational.
- You liked that?
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176. - Yeah yeah?
- Yes.
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177. But let me just say this, okay?
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178. Your breasts are magnificent.
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179. - Oh, thank you. Thank you.
- What did you just say?
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180. You're not dissecting a frog
in 12th-grade biology.
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181. - It's okay. I take it as a compliment.
- She's not a specimen.
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182. By the way, I did
notice in the show
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183. that there's a small mole
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184. on the underside
of your right breast
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185. that you might want
to get checked out.
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186. - Are you being serious? There's a mole?
- Yeah yeah yeah.
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187. Okay.
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188. How did you see a small mole from where
you were sitting?
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189. I have breast vision
and that's how I'm able to...
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190. - You have breast vision?
- Yes.
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191. Why don't you go
to every burlesque show
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192. and just stare
at all the breasts?
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193. I could be a burlesque
dermatologist.
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194. - We'll get it checked out.
- Thank you very much.
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195. - For sure.
- You're welcome.
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196. Well well well, look who's here.
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197. - You don't remember me?
- No.
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198. I'm the idiot who asked you
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199. to look after my computer
yesterday, remember?
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200. - Yeah. So where is it?
- You didn't get that back?
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201. No, I didn't get it back.
Why am I asking you?
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202. I didn't get it back and
it's gone and so were you.
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203. You were taking
such a long time.
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204. I had to get going
and I gave it to someone.
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205. - Who did you give it to?
- I don't know.
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206. - I gave it to some black guy.
- You gave it to some black guy?
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207. - Yeah.
- You gave it to a black guy?
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208. Because that's...
I mean...
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209. What I was about to say was
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210. why wouldn't you give it
to a black person?
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211. In fact, that day
when we were in there,
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212. I had been looking
for a black person
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213. to leave my computer with.
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214. I didn't see one,
so I left it with you.
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215. Left it with me.
Good good.
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216. I'm sure it's gonna turn up.
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217. - I'll keep my eyes peeled for him.
- I'm gonna go in.
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218. - He's probably dropped it off in there.
- Probably dropped it off.
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219. - Take care.
- Okay.
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220. Larry!
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221. What up, man?
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222. Oh, uh... nothing.
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223. - Who's that dude, man?
- Well, I mean it's not a big deal.
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224. He gave me his computer
to watch...
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225. - Uh-huh.
- And I had to leave.
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226. And I gave it to this guy
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227. and he never gave
the computer back.
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228. Who the fuck did you give it to?
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229. It was a guy.
Not important.
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230. Who the fuck did you give it to?
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231. A black guy.
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232. - Wow.
- I'm sorry.
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233. - God damn.
- I didn't want to tell you.
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234. - A fuckin' black dude in there...
- You forced it out of me.
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235. I feel fuckin' bad now.
Know what I mean?
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236. You trusted that
black motherfucker.
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237. - You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.
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238. I don't want you thinking
that shit about me,
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239. you understand?
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240. I could've stole
this motherfucker...
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241. Plenty of times, but I didn't.
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242. I know the code
to the fuckin' house and shit.
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243. 3948, right?
The last four
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244. of your social security card
number is 4938.
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245. All you did
was change it around.
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246. All that shit I fuckin' know.
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247. Remember that time
you gave me the ATM card
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248. to get gas for the car and shit?
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249. And your signature...
Come on.
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250. It's a big I.
It's real clear, right?
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251. Then the "arry David" is sloppy.
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252. Any man can do that shit. Your mom's maiden
name... Ratner. You know what I mean?
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253. - All they wanna know is that part.
- Where are the car keys?
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254. - Inside the car.
- I'll drive.
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255. Who the fuck told you
my mother's maiden name?
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256. - I must've overheard it.
- You're going through my shit!
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257. There's shit laying
around the house!
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258. Where the fuck did you find
out my mother's maiden...
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259. - Oh, hi.
- Hello.
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260. I'm your neighbor Margaret.
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261. Actually, I'm realizing now
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262. - that we've run into each other before.
- The supermarket.
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263. Oh yeah, that was kind of
an awkward thing there.
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264. I was just trying
to get some ice cream.
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265. - I understand that. I understand that.
- Chubby Hubby.
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266. You wouldn't move over.
It was odd.
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267. Well, there was a little
more to it than that.
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268. I know the woman was crying.
I saw that.
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269. - Right, yeah.
- But still,
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270. she could have cried
a foot or two over.
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271. You see, the reason
she was crying
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272. is she's a new member
of our safe house
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273. that I'm the housemother for.
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274. - Safe house?
- Yes.
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275. Some people call them
battered women.
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276. - I choose not to use that phrase.
- Oh, they're battered.
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277. I think it's very pejorative.
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278. - So anyway...
- Oh, where's the house?
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279. - It's just a couple of doors down.
- Seriously?
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280. - Yeah.
- Huh.
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281. And speaking of those women,
a couple of days ago
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282. I think there was
a little incident
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283. with one of our members
and her dog.
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284. She's also part of the
sorority over there?
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285. Well, we don't
call it a sorority.
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286. - But yes, she is one of our members.
- Oh my God.
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287. And Saundra was so upset
when she came home.
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288. - She was upset?
- Yes.
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289. Her dog pooped all over
my lawn three times.
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290. She doesn't clean it up.
She doesn't bring a bag.
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291. What we would love
as neighbors and friends...
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292. To invite you in
to start a discussion.
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293. And you can talk to Karen
and you can talk to Saundra
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294. and you can bring up your issues
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295. and perhaps apologize...
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296. - Apologize?
- For any discomfort you caused them.
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297. I don't know
why I would apologize.
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298. - I didn't really do anything.
- Well...
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299. - all I want to do is buy some ice cream.
- I know.
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300. - All I want to do is have a clean lawn...
- I understand.
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301. - Without poop on it.
- Exactly.
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302. I didn't really do anything.
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303. And you know what
would be wonderful, Larry?
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304. Is that so many of these women
have a negative connotation
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305. - as far as a male perspective goes.
- Of course, yes.
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306. So it would be so great
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307. to have a safe man
in their midst
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308. that could give them
a male perspective
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309. that they could feel good
about hearing.
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310. So I would be representing men.
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311. In a safe place, yes.
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312. - What do you say?
- I'm happy to be the male representative.
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313. Oh my goodness,
that's wonderful.
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314. Maybe I could drum up
a date over there, huh?
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315. Oh, now Larry,
let's remember boundaries.
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316. Hi. A little bit of a
surprise for all of you.
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317. Hello.
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318. I'd like to introduce our
neighbor and friend Larry.
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319. What a great pleasure
to meet you all.
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320. By the way, very nice house,
if you don't mind my saying.
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321. - Beautiful.
- Isn't it nice?
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322. I don't know where
you were living before,
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323. but I would think this
probably would be a step up.
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324. You hit the jackpot
with this place, huh?
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325. You know what, Larry?
Thank you for admiring our home.
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326. You're really hitting the cake here, huh?
And donuts?
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327. You're welcome to help yourself.
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328. I hope you guys are
working out eating this...
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329. My father would call this crap.
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330. That's a lot of crap.
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331. Larry, I think you might
remember our friend Saundra.
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332. - A pleasure.
- Hi.
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333. Did you have anything you
wanted to say to Saundra?
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334. I do have something
I'd like to say.
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335. First off, I want to apologize
Copy !req
336. if I hurt your feelings
in any way
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337. as a result of the dog pooping.
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338. I was just going to say
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339. that your anger is your problem
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340. and it's not my problem anymore.
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341. - Huh, interesting.
- Okay, but it really was great
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342. that Larry acknowledged
your feelings and apologized.
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343. I guess, yeah.
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344. Hmm, she doesn't seem to be too
overwhelmed by it.
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345. But you know what?
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346. I feel very good about
that interaction and...
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347. It's just that dogs don't really
have control of when they go.
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348. Yeah, but the owner has
control of where the dog goes.
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349. - Right. You know what?
- Do you want to apologize to my dog?
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350. Because you really
yelled at my dog.
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351. Yeah, it's very hard
to apologize to a dog
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352. because they're a stupid animal.
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353. You know, okay, again...
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354. We're going to move
on down the couch.
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355. And I think you may
also remember Karen.
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356. Karen!
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357. I would just like
to apologize to you as well
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358. if I made you uncomfortable
in any way at the market...
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359. You did.
It's okay.
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360. Wow.
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361. When you were bawling in
front of the refrigerator.
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362. I have no problem with crying
in a grocery store.
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363. - I was very upset.
- I know, I see.
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364. I would suggest, however,
that the next time
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365. you feel overwhelmed
by something
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366. to go to a different section,
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367. a section that's not used
as much as the ice cream
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368. which gets a lot of action.
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369. I would go maybe to the...
where the Japanese food is.
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370. The hoisin sauce
I don't think is a big...
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371. It's not like buying ice cream.
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372. - It's a different...
- Again, I am going to say
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373. we're going to concentrate
Copy !req
374. on the positive part
of what you had to say.
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375. - So...
- Who's that one?
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376. - That is Dale. She's one of our members.
- Dale?
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377. - Yes.
- Wow.
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378. Why don't you finish what
you were saying to Karen?
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379. What a bovine she is, huh?
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380. - Jesus.
- Well, okay, so...
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381. She's like the capo here, huh?
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382. No. No,
she's not, Larry.
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383. Does she run the show?
Tell me the truth.
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384. No, she doesn't.
Nobody runs the show.
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385. Is this the inspirational
speaker that we're getting?
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386. No, that's next week.
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387. This is our friend
and neighbor Larry.
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388. Oh my God.
What happened to you?
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389. We are again going to stay
in the present moment,
Copy !req
390. - being grateful and being...
- Inspirational speaker?
Copy !req
391. - Happy.
- What in the fuck is she talking about?
Copy !req
392. We have somebody
coming in next week.
Copy !req
393. And I think
she just got confused.
Copy !req
394. - But instead...
- Yeah, I could see that.
Copy !req
395. - Um, now...
- The washing machine's fucked.
Copy !req
396. Thank you, Dale.
Copy !req
397. That darn washing machine.
I'll tell you, we...
Copy !req
398. We use it so much, as you can
imagine, with all of our members.
Copy !req
399. I'll tell you what
I'll do for you.
Copy !req
400. If you need a machine,
you're welcome to come
Copy !req
401. and use my machine
anytime you want.
Copy !req
402. - Oh my goodness.
- How about that?
Copy !req
403. - Wow. Oh, is that generous.
- Huh huh?
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404. - That is incredible.
- Isn't that a beautiful gesture?
Copy !req
405. That is great.
Copy !req
406. Give me a little round of applause
if you want to.
Copy !req
407. It won't kill you.
Go ahead.
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408. - That would be fine.
- Sure. Why not?
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409. - You deserve that.
- That's kind of tepid.
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410. Anyway, thank you.
That was very kind of you.
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411. You're welcome.
Copy !req
412. How about the marm here, huh?
How about this marm?
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413. Okay, well...
That's all right, Larry.
Copy !req
414. - How about this marm?
- Okay, thank you.
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415. - I think that I'm just gonna say goodbye.
- Okay.
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416. If you touch it it's yours.
Copy !req
417. Again, thank you, Larry.
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418. Thank you so much.
Copy !req
419. Ladies, I'm just going to
walk our guest to the door.
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420. - Mm, Krispy Kreme?
- Oh yeah yeah.
Copy !req
421. And thank you
so much. Okay.
Copy !req
422. - This fuckin' thing is unbelievable!
- All right, okay.
Copy !req
423. Larry, thank you again
for coming by.
Copy !req
424. Couldn't be happier.
Copy !req
425. Did you put one of these
disgusting things
Copy !req
426. back in here after eating it?
Copy !req
427. I might have.
I have bad manners.
Copy !req
428. There's a whole side dish
here for the remnants.
Copy !req
429. - This is the remnant plate.
- Hello, boys.
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430. - Hi, beautiful.
- Hi.
Copy !req
431. - Oh!
- Oh hi.
Copy !req
432. - Hello, gorgeous.
- I am so happy.
Copy !req
433. I just came from the doctor
Copy !req
434. and the mole is absolutely fine.
Copy !req
435. - Fantastic! you see that?
- I know, I know.
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436. - I knew.
- That's good.
Copy !req
437. - Believe me, I knew all along.
- I was so worried for a while.
Copy !req
438. I'm very happy for you.
Copy !req
439. Although if you told me
that it wasn't fine,
Copy !req
440. I still would have been happy
because I would have said,
Copy !req
441. "See? Good thing I told you
to go to the doctor."
Copy !req
442. And something happened
when I saw the doctor.
Copy !req
443. I started talking
about how much pain
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444. I'm always in with my boobs...
Copy !req
445. - What do you mean pain?
- And that I get these backaches.
Copy !req
446. And I've decided that I...
Copy !req
447. I'm going to get
my breasts reduced.
Copy !req
448. - You're going to what?
- I'm going to get them reduced.
Copy !req
449. - That's...
- What?
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450. - She's hilarious.
- That's funny.
Copy !req
451. - That's funny.
- No.
Copy !req
452. - That's a good joke.
- I'm serious. Yeah.
Copy !req
453. - Really?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
454. I get backaches all the time.
Copy !req
455. It's really really painful.
Copy !req
456. You take an advil
for that stuff.
Copy !req
457. You throw a couple of stones
behind your brassiere.
Copy !req
458. - You just even it out.
- What's the big deal?
Copy !req
459. - Oh my God.
- Like a seesaw.
Copy !req
460. Okay, boys, you obviously
don't understand.
Copy !req
461. Imagine you had huge balls.
Copy !req
462. - Yeah?
- Balls?
Copy !req
463. Enormous, sweaty,
just filled with spunk...
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464. You're comparing
breasts with balls?
Copy !req
465. People hate balls.
Balls are reviled.
Copy !req
466. You can't even mention balls
and breasts in the same breath.
Copy !req
467. - Of course you can. Balls are male boobs.
- What?
Copy !req
468. Balls are disgusting.
They're hideous.
Copy !req
469. Everybody wants to see those.
Who wants to see balls?
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470. - Right.
- People want to see those.
Copy !req
471. - Sorry.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Copy !req
472. Wow, I am talking to two
schoolboys right now.
Copy !req
473. - How much are you planning on taking off?
- Maybe half.
Copy !req
474. - Half? Did you say half?
- I'll be able to go jogging.
Copy !req
475. - Half?
- Half, yeah.
Copy !req
476. You don't just love me
for my tits, do you?
Copy !req
477. Larry, please, do I have
to defend myself in this?
Copy !req
478. Hold it, hold it. There's many
things you can say about this guy.
Copy !req
479. - But not that.
- Not that.
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480. - Thank you.
- Right right right.
Copy !req
481. How could you even suggest
that I would think that?
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482. Look, you hurt the man.
You hurt the man.
Copy !req
483. Look at him.
It's insulting.
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484. - As his friend I'm insulted.
- Okay, sorry.
Copy !req
485. - I just, you know...
- Listen, we'll discuss this.
Copy !req
486. I'm there for you, regardless of what
you have to do, because I love you.
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487. - Everything will be fine.
- I'm so happy you're so supportive!
Copy !req
488. Thank you, sweetie.
I'm just going to the loo, okay?
Copy !req
489. - Back in a sec.
- You're the woman of my dreams,
Copy !req
490. for Christ's sake.
Copy !req
491. - You fucking idiot.
- What?
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492. You did this.
You're responsible for this.
Copy !req
493. You looked at her mole
with a goddamn telescope
Copy !req
494. like Galileo jerking off
from 40' away.
Copy !req
495. I had breast vision, I told you.
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496. Because of you I'm going
to lose this beautiful woman
Copy !req
497. with that figure,
with those boobs.
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498. I thought you didn't
care about her breasts.
Copy !req
499. All right, I lied.
Copy !req
500. What am I supposed to do now?
Go from a double D to a...
Copy !req
501. - What's half of double D?
- B+? No, B-.
Copy !req
502. B-. It's closer
to the D, yes.
Copy !req
503. What's closer to the D,
the minus or the plus?
Copy !req
504. I don't give a shit,
quite frankly.
Copy !req
505. This is not algebra.
This is my life.
Copy !req
506. - Life is short. How dare she?
- How dare she?
Copy !req
507. Yeah, what gives her the right?
It's self-centered.
Copy !req
508. - It really is.
- It is selfish.
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509. - Isn't it?
- Totally.
Copy !req
510. She's getting half
of it taken off.
Copy !req
511. Reduce them by half.
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512. There shouldn't be a motherfucker
cutting titties down.
Copy !req
513. You don't fuckin' wanna
reduce your titties by half
Copy !req
514. and expect a motherfucker
to be happy with that shit.
Copy !req
515. - You know what I'm saying?
- I do.
Copy !req
516. - I do know what you're saying.
- You know what I'm saying?
Copy !req
517. Why do you keep asking me that?
I know what you're saying.
Copy !req
518. Sometimes you don't know
what the fuck I'm saying.
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519. I know what the fuck
you're saying.
Copy !req
520. I explain it to you
and you don't fucking get it.
Copy !req
521. I get it.
You want to give me a test on it?
Copy !req
522. You like fucking full titties
or half titties?
Copy !req
523. You got two half titties, right?
Copy !req
524. - Know no better.
- All right, you know what?
Copy !req
525. We could talk till
we're blue in the face.
Copy !req
526. I don't mean that
as a racial thing either.
Copy !req
527. Would I ever turn fucking blue?
Copy !req
528. - It's an expression.
- Who turns fuckin' blue?
Copy !req
529. You say that to white people too.
You can't turn blue?
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530. - Hell no I can't turn blue.
- Blacks blush. You blush?
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531. - Blacks don't fuckin' blush.
- You never saw a black blush.
Copy !req
532. Never seen a black blush
in my fuckin' life.
Copy !req
533. Blacks don't fuckin' blush.
Copy !req
534. - Hey, Laura.
- Hey, Larry.
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535. - Thank you so much. We really appreciate it.
- You're very welcome.
Copy !req
536. - Did you use the Downey?
- Yes, I did.
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537. - Hi, Dale.
- Hey.
Copy !req
538. - Wow.
- Huh?
Copy !req
539. - Whew.
- Did you get a load of that one?
Copy !req
540. - Yo, she's something else, man.
- Isn't she?
Copy !req
541. - Who could fuck her up?
- I know.
Copy !req
542. Me and you couldn't
take that bitch.
Copy !req
543. She must have made up a story
or something to get in there.
Copy !req
544. I bet she heard about it
from a friend in there.
Copy !req
545. And my guess is
she's living in some dump
Copy !req
546. and decided to move over.
Copy !req
547. Gotta find out what
the fuck the story is.
Copy !req
548. I'm going to find out right now.
Copy !req
549. Shit.
Copy !req
550. Yoohoo!
Copy !req
551. - How's the laundry coming along?
- It's coming along.
Copy !req
552. - Huh? Coming along?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
553. - You ever ice skate?
- No.
Copy !req
554. Maybe I'll take you
ice skating sometime.
Copy !req
555. - That'd be fun.
- I guess.
Copy !req
556. So, Dale, if you don't
mind my saying,
Copy !req
557. with all due respect,
I was just wondering
Copy !req
558. how you kind of...
Copy !req
559. You know, wound up over there.
Copy !req
560. Because it looks like
you could...
Copy !req
561. Take care of yourself.
Copy !req
562. - It's none of your business.
- Ah, okay.
Copy !req
563. Because the thing
about it is that
Copy !req
564. I just don't see anybody
taking you down.
Copy !req
565. Ahh!
Copy !req
566. That is some shiner
you got there.
Copy !req
567. Can you tell me how it happened?
Copy !req
568. I was home and I was
talking to somebody.
Copy !req
569. And... I said something
I shouldn't have said.
Copy !req
570. So this person struck you?
Copy !req
571. No. I fell.
Copy !req
572. Yeah, I fell.
I'm clumsy.
Copy !req
573. I'm really clumsy.
I trip all the time.
Copy !req
574. But, you know, I kind of...
Copy !req
575. I deserved it actually.
Copy !req
576. - I was wrong.
- Larry.
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577. - Excuse me, we're...
- I need some money.
Copy !req
578. You need money?
I gave you $40 yesterday.
Copy !req
579. - What for?
- I'm fuckin' hungry waiting around
Copy !req
580. all this fuckin' time and shit.
Copy !req
581. Can't you see I'm in pain here?
Copy !req
582. I know. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
583. But I'm fuckin' hungry
right now.
Copy !req
584. - What are you going to get?
- Fuckin' fruit chews.
Copy !req
585. Fruit chews? You know how
bad those are for your teeth?
Copy !req
586. You want to spend the winter
in the dentist's office?
Copy !req
587. - Put this shit on my fuckin' tab.
- On your tab?
Copy !req
588. - Yeah.
- Like you're going to pay me back.
Copy !req
589. You know I got you.
Give me a few dollars.
Copy !req
590. All right.
I'll give you some.
Copy !req
591. - I love you, Larry.
- Yeah, I love you too.
Copy !req
592. - I'm sorry, you know him?
- Yeah, he lives with me.
Copy !req
593. - You live together?
- Yeah, we live together.
Copy !req
594. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
595. You know, I didn't even
ask him to move in.
Copy !req
596. He just moved in,
doesn't pay any rent
Copy !req
597. and he eats all my food.
Copy !req
598. He knows all about me.
He knows my mother's maiden name.
Copy !req
599. I've got to get this guy
out of my house.
Copy !req
600. - It's driving me crazy.
- Mr. David, is there anything
Copy !req
601. that you'd like to tell me
about this accident?
Copy !req
602. This is completely
in confidence.
Copy !req
603. - No, mm-mm.
- Are you sure?
Copy !req
604. - Yeah.
- Okay.
Copy !req
605. - Hello?
- Larry. Lewis.
Copy !req
606. - Hey!
- Hey, how are you doing?
Copy !req
607. Good.
What's happening?
Copy !req
608. Stella is going through with
the breast reduction on Friday.
Copy !req
609. - Oh, I am so sorry.
- So on Thursday
Copy !req
610. I'm going to throw myself and
those breasts a farewell party
Copy !req
611. like they've never seen
in their lives.
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612. - A breast blowout.
- A breast blowout. Exactly right.
Copy !req
613. Because I'm going to go
to the Biltmore downtown.
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614. I'm going to have
all their favorite
Copy !req
615. frozen margaritas
and put flowers there.
Copy !req
616. It's like the last time
you're going to see them,
Copy !req
617. - like going off to war.
- Absolutely.
Copy !req
618. I never went to 'Nam and I feel like
this is sort of like... in a way
Copy !req
619. - sort of the same thing for me.
- All right, good luck.
Copy !req
620. - I'll speak to you soon.
- Okay.
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621. Oh my God, so I asked you to watch
this computer for two minutes.
Copy !req
622. I told you to give it to the guy
when he comes back in, and what?
Copy !req
623. You... you...
Copy !req
624. You're not the guy.
Copy !req
625. All right, I made a mistake.
Copy !req
626. I thought you were
somebody else.
Copy !req
627. - Sorry.
- Who did you think I was?
Copy !req
628. I thought you were this guy
who I told to watch
Copy !req
629. this computer and...
He stole it.
Copy !req
630. Oh. So was this guy
black or white?
Copy !req
631. Pfft, happened to be black.
Copy !req
632. So you think that all
black people look alike?
Copy !req
633. I think all computers
look alike.
Copy !req
634. Have a nice day.
Copy !req
635. One statement.
Copy !req
636. It's hard to make decisions
in the moment.
Copy !req
637. So buy a bunch of one thing
Copy !req
638. and then we have a lot of
one things to choose...
Copy !req
639. - Excuse me, I gotta get in here.
- Sir, don't ever touch me.
Copy !req
640. Sorry, we're from
a battered women's shelter.
Copy !req
641. Well, it looks like you could
take care of yourself, honestly.
Copy !req
642. Ahh!
Copy !req
643. - Oh my God.
- Hey. I know.
Copy !req
644. It's me, Bob,
from the restaurant,
Copy !req
645. - your neighbor.
- Oh my God, are you serious?
Copy !req
646. Yes. I'm so sorry.
I had to take off.
Copy !req
647. I know you asked me
to watch the computer,
Copy !req
648. but nobody else
looked trustworthy.
Copy !req
649. I couldn't leave it there,
so I took it with me
Copy !req
650. and I figured
I'd track you down.
Copy !req
651. And now we can find
the rightful owner.
Copy !req
652. Nobody else looked trustworthy.
And I thought you took it!
Copy !req
653. - Well, I did, but I'm bringing it back.
- Yeah, right.
Copy !req
654. You know what? I gotta return
some laundry to some neighbors.
Copy !req
655. - Okay.
- You got two minutes?
Copy !req
656. - Can you wait in the house for me?
- Yeah yeah, sure.
Copy !req
657. Make yourself at home
and I'll be right back.
Copy !req
658. Okay.
Copy !req
659. Hi, sir. We're responding
to a domestic battery call.
Copy !req
660. I don't live here.
Copy !req
661. The owner of the house,
he just left.
Copy !req
662. Sir, you match the description
of somebody who's been reported
Copy !req
663. - for domestic battery at this address.
- No no no no no.
Copy !req
664. See, the owner, he just walked out.
He'll be right back.
Copy !req
665. Apparently you've been
living here with Mr. David
Copy !req
666. and he's been trying
to get rid of you.
Copy !req
667. It's all
in the doctor's statement.
Copy !req
668. No no no no no.
Look, we can just talk to Mr. David.
Copy !req
669. - He'll explain everything.
- You won't be speaking to Mr. David.
Copy !req
670. - He's being moved to a safe house.
- What?
Copy !req
671. - No no! I was just returning a computer.
- You're going to jail now.
Copy !req
672. A computer. I don't live here.
You're making a mistake.
Copy !req
673. Wait for the guy to come back.
He'll tell... God damn it!
Copy !req
674. Hello.
Copy !req
675. Hey, Richie boy!
Copy !req
676. How's it going?
Having fun?
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