Curb Your Enthusiasm 7x7

1. - Nat: I THINK DOWN THERE. - THIS IS IT? REALLY?

2. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER. I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE IN YEARS.

3. - THIS IS IT RIGHT HERE. - Larry: THIS IS IT?

4. - YEAH, HERE. - Larry: THIS IS MOM'S GRAVE?

5. "PAST AWAY"?

6. P-A-S-T?

7. DAD, YOU SPELLED "PASSED" WRONG.

8. IT'S NOT SPELLED P-A-S-T.

9. "PASSED AWAY." P-A-S-S-E-D.

10. TO SPELL IT.

11. THAT'S $50 A LETTER.

12. ON PURPOSE TO SAVE $100?

13. YES, WHY NOT?

14. IT HAS THE SAME MEANING. EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS.

15. - IT'S NOT THE SAME MEANING. - YOU SAVED $100?

16. I WOULD'VE PAID FOR IT.

17. - I-I— - ARE YOU KIDDING?

18. I DIDN'T ASK YOU BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU.

19. THAT WAS THE WHOLE IDEA.

20. HONESTLY, THIS IS NOT THE NICEST WAY...

21. - THIS IS INSANE. - ... TO HONOR YOUR WIFE.

22. OKAY, I'M SORRY. I GOTTA CHANGE THIS.

23. OF THE STONEMASON?

24. YES, I HAVE THE NAME OF THE STONEMASON, YES.

25. I'M GONNA CHANGE THIS. I'M GONNA SPELL IT THE RIGHT WAY.

26. BLANDISHMENTS ON HERE?

27. HOW ABOUT "DEVOTED WIFE"? SOME ADJECTIVES?

28. "BELOVED MOTHER OF LARRY" WOULD'VE BEEN NICE.

29. MAYBE $6,000 MORE ON THE STONE?

30. WHY NOT JUST "ADELE DAVID BORN, PASSED AWAY"?

31. TO STAY HERE?

32. - P-A-S-T PAST. - "PAST AWAY."

33. - I DON'T BELIEVE IT. MAN HAS LET GO THROUGH.

34. LUCKY HE DIDN'T PUT "BELOVED MOTH."

35. HEY HEY HEY. NORM'S HERE. WE'VE GOT TO HURRY UP.

36. LET'S EAT. LET'S ORDER.

37. HE'S THE SLOWEST GOLFER IN THE UNITED STATES.

38. LET'S ORDER BREAKFAST AND BEAT HIM TO THE FIRST TEE.

39. - YEAH, COME ON. - WHAT ARE WE HAVING?

40. I'M GONNA HAVE EGG WHITES WITH A BAGEL. QUICKLY, PLEASE.

41. - I'LL HAVE SUNNY-SIDE EGGS. - JUST A FRUIT PLATE.

42. I'D LIKE THE SAME THING— AND WELL-DONE ONIONS.

43. I DON'T WANT THEM LIMP. I REALLY WANT THEM CRISPY.

44. ANDY, ANDY, DO ME A FAVOR.

45. - YOU DON'T NEED TO GET CRISPY ONIONS. - NO, THIS IS WHAT I WANT.

46. NO NO, IT TAKES ONIONS WELL-DONE.

47. BELIEVE ME. I'VE ORDERED THIS BEFORE. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT.

48. - I KNOW, BUT THEY TAKE A LONG TIME. - THANK YOU.

49. - THANK YOU VERY MUCH. - IT TAKES A LONG TIME.

50. - STOP IT. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. - I DO KNOW.

51. - I MAKE ONIONS AT HOME. - SO I'LL ONLY EAT HALF.

52. - DON'T WORRY. PLAYED BEHIND NORM.

53. - HEY, JIM. - WHAT'S GOING ON?

54. - HOW ARE YOU? - NOT BAD.

55. - JUST IN TOWN FOR THE DAY. - GOING BACK TO NEW YORK?

56. YEAH, TAKING A RED-EYE TONIGHT.

57. - GOOD TO SEE YOU. - GOOD TO SEE YOU.

58. - TAKE CARE. - TAKE CARE.

59. WHY DIDN'T YOU INTRODUCE US?

60. HE'S FROM NEW YORK. YOU'RE NEVER GONNA SEE HIM AGAIN.

61. IT'S A COURTEOUS THING TO DO.

62. - WHAT, DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW HIS NAME? - I DON'T HAVE TO KNOW IT.

63. AND SHAKE YOUR HAND?

64. IT'S A COMMON COURTESY WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO SOMEONE.

65. IT'S A POINTLESS SOCIAL CONVENTION...

66. TO INTRODUCE EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU KNOW.

67. HELLO? OH, HEY, DAD.

68. I CAN'T TALK HERE. I'M IN THE DINING ROOM.

69. YOU SHOULDN'T USE THE PHONE IN HERE.

70. TONIGHT AT 6:30. - KEEP IT DOWN.

71. COME ON. TELL HIM YOU'LL CALL HIM BACK.

72. GREAT. I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

73. IN DINING ROOM. CLUB RULE.

74. WHY YOU BREAK RULE?

75. OH. I'M SORRY, MR. TAKAHASHI.

76. TO HEAR MY VOICE.

77. YOU DO THIS ALL TIME.

78. LAST WARNING.

79. SORRY.

80. - WHO THE HELL IS HE? - THAT'S MR. TAKAHASHI.

81. - HE'S THE OWNER. - OF THE CLUB?

82. - YEAH. - OH BOY.

83. INTO YOUR FACE?

84. IT'S EXACTLY HOW I WANTED IT DONE.

85. WERE GONNA TAKE 10-15 MINUTES.

86. LONGER THAN YOU GUYS.

87. IT WASN'T A COUPLE OF MINUTES. WE'VE BEEN DONE FOR FIVE.

88. ALL RIGHT. LET'S HIT IT.

89. WHAT DOES IT MATTER NOW? WHAT DOES IT MATTER NOW?

90. - OH, IT'S OVER. - MAYBE THEY'RE GOING TO THE RANGE.

91. NO, THEY'RE NOT GOING TO THE RANGE. THEY DON'T GO TO THE RANGE.

92. - THANKS, GENTLEMEN. - YEAH, I GOT IT. DON'T WORRY.

93. - THANKS, LAR. - YOU'RE WELCOME.

94. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO HERE? IT'S AN 18% TIP INCLUDED.

95. FOR AN ADDITIONAL TIP.

96. IN MY HEAD NOW?

97. COME OUT TO? $2?

98. I'M LEAVING AN EXTRA $2? THAT MAKES ME LOOK CHEAP.

99. JUST LEAVE THE 18% AND LET'S GO.

100. I THINK THAT'S ALL THEY EXPECT.

101. I'M NOT LEAVING ANY MORE ADDITIONAL TIPS HERE. I'M PROTESTING IT.

102. I'M GONNA PROTEST IT.

103. - I DON'T THINK IT'S RIGHT. - Jeff: I'M GONNA FOLLOW YOUR LEAD.

104. - Marty: IT'S A GOOD PROTEST. - THIS IS CRAZY.

105. - YOU READY? - YEAH, WE'RE READY.

106. LET'S GO, LET'S GO. COME ON.

107. - THANKS AGAIN, GUYS. - OKAY, THANK YOU.

108. HAVE A GOOD ROUND.

109. WHOA. WAS— WAS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

110. - YEAH, GOOD JOB. - THANKS.

111. UM, SEE, 'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T LEAVE A TIP.

112. AND USUALLY WHEN I'VE PROVIDED EXCELLENT SERVICE,

113. TO TIP ME.

114. WELL, THERE IS AN 18% TIP INCLUDED.

115. GENERALLY, I DO LEAVE AN ADDITIONAL TIP,

116. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M KIND OF PROTESTING THE ADDITIONAL TIP.

117. - I DON'T CARE FOR IT. - YOU'RE PROTESTING.

118. YES. LET 'EM CHARGE ME 20%. LET 'EM CHARGE ME 25%.

119. I'D RATHER BE CHARGED A 30% TIP INCLUDED

120. 18% TO 20% TO 25%-- WHATEVER.

121. IT'S NOT THAT MUCH. IT'S 2%.

122. - IT'S HARD TO GET TO 2%. - YOU TAKE 1%, JUST MOVE THE DECIMAL PLACE TWO SPOTS.

123. OKAY, YOU HAVE A SYSTEM. I DON'T HAVE A SYSTEM

124. TO GET TO 2%.

125. YOU KNOW, DON'T MAKE ME DO MATH AT THE TABLE.

126. SO YOU'RE PROTESTING MATH.

127. I'M PROTESTING MATH. EXACTLY.

128. - BOY, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. - THIS IS INSANE.

129. 20 MINUTES HE'S LOOKING FOR THIS BALL.

130. I KNOW.

131. HEY, NORM, DROP A BALL.

132. - HUH? - YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR 20 MINUTES.

133. - JUST DROP A BALL. - I HAVEN'T BEEN LOOKING FOR 20 MINUTES.

134. YOU CAN'T HOLD UP THE WHOLE COURSE LIKE THIS! LET US PLAY THROUGH!

135. YOU DON'T PLAY THROUGH. OUT OF THE QUESTION!

136. IT'S NOT RIGHT! IT'S VERY INCONSIDERATE!

137. I'M NOT INCONSIDERATE! YOU'RE INCONSIDERATE!

138. - YOU'RE INCONSIDERATE! - NO, YOU ARE!

139. - YOU WANT TO DO ME A FAVOR? - YEAH YEAH.

140. - SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. THE ONIONS?

141. HUH? ARE YOU GLAD YOU HAD THE ONIONS?

142. I CAN'T FIND THE GODDAMN BALL!

143. - LET'S GO! - DON'T BE ANGRY AT ME JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE ANGRY AT HIM.

144. - WE'LL COME BACK TOMORROW. - I COME HERE TO RELAX, TO HAVE A GOOD TIME!

145. CRISPY ONIONS! THEY HAVE TO BE CRISPY!

146. "I CAN'T EAT BREAKFAST

147. CRISPY ONIONS!"

148. - HOW'S YOUR WIFE? - FUCK YOU, NORM!

149. - THAT WAS A LOT OF FUN. - YEAH, WHAT A TIME.

150. HEY, YOU!

151. YES, YOU.

152. AT NORM OUT THERE?

153. - DID YOU? - YEAH, I DID HAVE TO YELL AND SCREAM.

154. FOURSOME IN THE CLUB.

155. YOU'RE VERY INCONSIDERATE.

156. HE'S LOOKING FOR A BALL FOR HALF AN HOUR.

157. YOU DON'T YELL HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE.

158. I DIDN'T KNOW HE HAS HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE.

159. WITH HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE?

160. AND THEY DIE.

161. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. NORM IS DEAD.

162. THAT'S RIGHT.

163. SO YOU'RE BLAMING ME?

164. - YES! - IT'S NOT MY FAULT

165. A HEART ATTACK.

166. - DID YOU EVEN KNOW HIM? - I DID KNOW HIM SOMEWHAT.

167. - DID YOU LIKE HIM AT ALL? - NO, I THOUGHT HE WAS A PRICK.

168. YOU KNOW, THAT'S INTERESTING

169. ABOUT ONE HUMAN BEING.

170. THAT I'VE HEARD

171. - IS TRUE. - WHAT DID YOU HEAR?

172. WHAT DID YOU HEAR? TELL ME WHAT YOU HEARD.

173. - WHAT? - YOU'RE GETTING

174. - HERE AT THE CLUB. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

175. - I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. - LOOK, IT MAY HAVE BEEN AN ACCIDENT,

176. - BUT YOU'RE A MURDERER. - HOW DARE YOU?

177. NO, YOU'RE NOT A MURDERER. YOU'RE NOT A MURDERER.

178. IT'S INVOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER.

179. YOU DIDN'T INTEND TO KILL HIM, BUT YOU KILLED HIM.

180. - I DIDN'T KILL HIM! - I'M NOT POINTING FINGERS,

181. BUT YOU KILLED HIM. YOU DID!

182. HEY, LET ME

183. THOSE CRISPY ONIONS,

184. YOU PUT A GUN TO THAT GUY'S HEAD.

185. YOU'RE RIGHT. IF HE HADN'T ORDERED THOSE EGGS THAT WAY,

186. YOU WOULDN'T BE GUILTY OF INVOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER.

187. PLAYING TOMORROW?

188. - EARLY. YUP. - EARLY. YEAH.

189. EARLY. GOOD IDEA.

190. SO WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THE "SEINFELD" REUNION? ARE THEY ALL DOING IT?

191. YEAH, THE READ-THROUGH IS NEXT WEEK.

192. - HOW ABOUT THAT? - YEAH, THAT'S GREAT.

193. OOH, THE STONEMASON CALLED AND HE SAID HE'LL CALL BACK.

194. I PICKED UP THE PHONE.

195. OH, AND WHILE I WAS ON THE PHONE, I THINK I SOLD HIM A HAT.

196. - ARE YOU KIDDING? - ON THE PHONE.

197. BUY A HAT FROM YOU?

198. - WHAT KIND OF HAT? - NAT, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN HER HATS?

199. OH MY GOSH, WAIT TILL YOU SEE THIS!

200. SHE'S SO CREATIVE!

201. SHE ASTOUNDS ME. LOOK AT THIS.

202. I LIVE TO DO. IT'S MY PASSION.

203. RIGHT, SO HOW DO YOU GET TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BABY?

204. I HAVE TO WORK.

205. LISTEN, KIDS COST A LOT OF MONEY NOWADAYS.

206. AND SCHOOL AND COLLEGE.

207. IT'S TOUGH TO LIVE IN NEW YORK. WE'RE SAVING ALREADY FOR COLLEGE.

208. OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO?

209. I'M GONNA PAY FOR SKYLAR TO GO TO COLLEGE.

210. - OH, CUT IT OUT. - LARRY.

211. - WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT? - ARE YOU SERIOUS?

212. - YEAH, I'M GONNA DO IT. - THAT'S—

213. I DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS. I HAVE MONEY.

214. I'LL DO IT. I DON'T WANT YOU TO WORRY ABOUT THAT.

215. - BY GOLLY. OH MY GOD! - THAT'S EVERYTHING!

216. - THAT'S EVERYTHING. - UNCLE NAT, LOOK WHO YOU RAISED.

217. - YES, I'M LOOKIN' AT HIM. - I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

218. I'M GONNA MAKE YOU A THANK-YOU HAT.

219. DON'T MAKE ME A THANK-YOU HAT.

220. IT'S DONE.

221. YOU COULD DO?

222. YOUR CELEBRITY FRIENDS,

223. - LIKE JERRY SEINFELD. GONNA WEAR THAT HAT.

224. - YOU DON'T KNOW! - YEAH, I DO KNOW.

225. OR SOME ATHLETE FRIEND?

226. - HELLO. - Hey, it's Ed— the stonemason.

227. OH, HEY.

228. ON MY MOTHER'S STONE. - Okay.

229. OKAY, WELL YOU KNOW "PASSED AWAY"

230. SPELLED P-A-S-T?

231. YOU HAD ON "SEINFELD"?

232. - DEREK JETER? - HE COULD WEAR ONE.

233. That guy sucks.

234. - WHO SUCKS? - Derek Jeter.

235. He's the most overrated player in baseball.

236. - WHAT DID YOU SAY? - I can't stand Derek Jeter.

237. You know he's the worst offensive shortstop in baseball statistically?

238. OH, BULLSHIT. HE'S A GREAT CLUTCH HITTER. HE'S A GREAT CLUTCH PLAYER.

239. LARRY, COME ON BACK.

240. There's no way he deserves that kind of money he's making.

241. OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

242. OF THE STONE, PLEASE?

243. - Will do. - THANK YOU.

244. - HOW GREAT IS THIS DAY? - GORGEOUS.

245. WHERE IS EVERYBODY? YESTERDAY IT WAS PACKED. NOBODY'S HERE.

246. I THINK IT'S OUT OF RESPECT FOR NORM.

247. YEAH, YOU KNOW, HAD THE HEART ATTACK ON.

248. - THIS IS THE HOLE? - THIS IS THE HOLE.

249. - WOW. - YEAH.

250. OH, GOD DAMN IT.

251. A GOOD SWING; YOU CAME OVER IT.

252. - WHAT AM I DOING? - YOU CAME OVER THE TOP OF IT.

253. RIGHT BY THE POND. YOU'RE RIGHT BY THE POND.

254. ENJOY THE SWANS.

255. HEY! HEY!

256. HEY! HEY!

257. HEY!

258. TOWARDS ME.

259. HE ATTACKED ME! HE LEAPT AT ME!

260. - DID YOU PROVOKE HIM? - NO, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

261. TAKAHASHI'S PET SWAN.

262. OF HIS LIFE.

263. TO KILL IT?

264. I DIDN'T WANT TO KILL A SWAN!

265. WE'RE GONNA HAVE

266. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. - ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

267. THEY'RE ATTACKING!

268. NOBODY'S CALLING ANYBODY. YOU GOT THAT?

269. NOBODY'S CALLING ANYBODY. WE'LL GET KICKED OUT OF THE CLUB.

270. OKAY. WELL, I GOTTA TELL MY WIFE.

271. HEY! NO WIVES. NOBODY.

272. COME ON, I TELL MY WIFE EVERYTHING.

273. IN OUR MARRIAGE VOWS.

274. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? EVERYTHING?

275. SHE WON'T TELL ANYBODY, BUT I GOT TO TELL HER.

276. - I HAVE TO TELL HER. - ARE YOU CRAZY?

277. - WHAT? - YOU DON'T TELL YOUR WIFE ANYTHING!

278. I'M AT THE OFFICE.

279. I'M PLAYING GOLF IS WHEN I'M WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!

280. YOUR TRACKS.

281. WE'RE A FOURSOME HERE. WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. NO WIVES!

282. ALL RIGHT. FINE.

283. THIS THING NOW.

284. YEAH, LET'S BURY IT. WE'LL BURY IT IN THE WOODS.

285. - Andy: SERIOUSLY? - YEAH. COME ON, PICK IT UP.

286. - NO, YOU PICK IT UP. YOU KILLED IT. - YOU PICK IT UP.

287. OH, THIS IS HORRIBLE.

288. OH, IT'S HORRIBLE. THIS IS HORRIBLE.

289. - FRUIT'S GOOD. - YEAH.

290. - DELICIOUS, ISN'T IT? ABOUT THE FOOD?

291. I WANT TO THROW UP. OUT OF HERE.

292. - YES, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. - OH, THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.

293. OUT OF HERE NOW.

294. TO YOU, MORON.

295. SWAN KILLERS LEAVE.

296. PEOPLE WHO AREN'T SWAN KILLERS STAY,

297. HAVE A LITTLE LUNCH, ENJOY THEMSELVES,

298. SOCIALIZE, GET TO KNOW THE MEMBERS.

299. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG. GET IT?

300. GUESS WHAT?

301. I'M NOT A SWAN KILLER. OKAY?

302. HEY, LET ME REMIND YOU

303. YOU'RE TALKING WAY TOO LOUD

304. IN THE DINING ROOM.

305. TO UNDERSTAND?

306. GONNA BREAK, OKAY?

307. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE YOUR PHONE ON. IT'S ALWAYS RINGING.

308. - YOU KILLED HIS SWAN! VOICE DOWN!

309. - YOU KILLED A SWAN. - SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

310. WHY DID I ORDER TURKEY?

311. I SHOULD'VE JUST HAD THE EGGS AND ONIONS.

312. THEY'RE GOOD HERE.

313. YOUR FOOD?

314. HE'S RIGHT. ALL YOU'RE ABOUT YOUR FOOD.

315. I TOLD YOU TO GET THE FRUIT. IT'S DELICIOUS.

316. I HAD FRUIT THIS MORNING. IT TWICE FOR?

317. TWICE IN ONE DAY. - YOU CAN'T.

318. YOU GET THE ACID. IT'LL RIP A HOLE IN YOUR STOMACH.

319. THEY HAVE NON-ACIDIC FRUIT. AND BANANA.

320. HEY, UH, WHAT'S THAT?

321. - WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT IS? - I DON'T KNOW,

322. BUT IT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

323. 20 MINUTES AGO. THEY'RE NOT GONNA FIND IT ALREADY.

324. OH NO. LOOK.

325. CLUBHOUSE!

326. NOW WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

327. IT WAS A BIRD. SO SCARED OF?

328. - A BIRD! - IT WAS SELF-DEFENSE!

329. POSSIBLY DONE TO YOU?

330. - IT COULD'VE KILLED ME. - IT'S NOT A WILD BOAR!

331. YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN WHEN IT LEAPED IN THE AIR!

332. WHY EVEN BURY IT? OF BURYING IT?

333. MR. TAKAHASHI

334. YOU ALL IN HIS OFFICE NOW.

335. SO, GENTLEMEN.

336. YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?

337. THIS IS TEE SHEET.

338. AND WHO DID NOT PLAY.

339. GROUP PLAYED.

340. COURSE NOT CROWDED.

341. RESPECT FOR NORM.

342. OH. YOU PLAYED.

343. WHY? YOU DON'T RESPECT NORM?

344. - NO NO, OF COURSE. - I RESPECT NORM, ABSOLUTELY.

345. A SLOW PLAYER.

346. WHAT ELSE YOU NOT RESPECT?

347. BEAUTIFUL BLACK SWAN?

348. BLACK SWAN, ARE YOU CRAZY?

349. WE ADORE SWANS!

350. WAS KILLED, MURDERED.

351. WHO KILLED KYOKO?

352. YOU. I DON'T KNOW YOU.

353. - WHO ARE YOU? - I'M A GUEST HERE.

354. IF I MAY SAY, IS JUST GREAT.

355. - YOU KILLED SWAN?

356. NO, SIR.

357. I'M FROM OUT OF TOWN. TO KILL THE SWAN.

358. YOU. YOU SMART GUY.

359. - THANK YOU. - YEAH.

360. - YOU NO KILL SWAN. - OH, NO, SIR.

361. WHO KILLED SWAN.

362. WELL, I DON'T THINK— NO, I DON'T THINK I DO.

363. - YOU LIKE CLUB? - I LOVE THIS CLUB.

364. YOU TELL ME, FREE DUES.

365. NO MORE DUES.

366. - FOR LIFE? - WHOLE LIFE.

367. - VALET PARKING? - ANY TIME.

368. - Marty: RANGE BALLS? - ALL YOU WANT.

369. NOW YOU TELL ME. RIGHT HERE, TELL ME.

370. UM, NO, I REALLY CAN'T THINK OF WHO COULD'VE DONE IT.

371. - YOU. - HMM?

372. - YOU KILL SWAN? - NO, I'D NEVER KILL A SWAN.

373. - WHY? YOU STUPID. - I'M NOT STUPID.

374. YES. YOU MARRY BIG-MOUTH WIFE.

375. A BIG MOUTH.

376. YES, MAYBE I TALK TO HER.

377. NO, DON'T CALL HER.

378. I DON'T EVEN BRING OUT OF RESPECT.

379. OH. LARRY.

380. - HOW ARE YOU? - I'M GOOD.

381. YEAH?

382. - YOU KILL KYOKO? - NO.

383. - YEAH. - NO.

384. HEY, I CAN'T TALK NOW. I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

385. IN THE CLUBHOUSE!

386. LAST WARNING!

387. NOW GO! GO!

388. - Andy: HEY, WHERE YOU GOING? - OH, THEY'RE HAVING A MEMORIAL FOR NORM AT THE CLUB.

389. - AND TOMORROW A FUNERAL. - OH MY GOD.

390. TWO DAYS IN A ROW. PLAYING BEHIND HIM.

391. ANYWAY, I CAME IN

392. THROUGH COLLEGE.

393. - WELL, YOU'RE— YOU'RE WELCOME. - THANK YOU.

394. I MEAN, MY WIFE AND I IN BED LAST NIGHT.

395. CASSIE SAID TO ME?

396. TO COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL.

397. COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL?

398. - WHAT? - THIS IS HER CALLING.

399. COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL?

400. SHE'S GREAT WITH LOTIONS!

401. I MEAN,

402. OH MY GOD, TO DO THIS.

403. I'M VERY PUT OFF BY THIS.

404. - WHY?

405. DAUGHTER'S EDUCATION

406. COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL?

407. - YEAH. - ALL OF A SUDDEN?

408. NO, I JUST THINK IT'S WRONG.

409. IT'S VERY WRONG OF YOU TO ASK ME THAT.

410. - DON'T YOU GET THAT? CAN YOU BE?

411. WHAT'S HAPPENING? YOU'RE SAYING NO?

412. YES, I'M SAYING NO.

413. WOULD BE A GESTURE. IT WOULD BE NICE.

414. - SHE'D BE PERFECT FOR IT.

415. - WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. - WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SKYLAR'S GONNA GO TO COLLEGE.

416. I'M NOT SAYING IT WASN'T A BEAUTIFUL GESTURE,

417. BUT WHO KNOWS? SHE MIGHT BE A DRUG ADDICT.

418. I DON'T KNOW CAN DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

419. PEOPLE WE'RE NOT?

420. WE'RE NOT THE KIND OF PEOPLE THAT KILL SWANS.

421. THAT'S THE KIND OF PEOPLE. WE DON'T KILL SWANS.

422. I HAD TO TELL HER, LARRY.

423. DON'T WORRY. SHE'S NOT GONNA SAY ANYTHING.

424. THE TWO OF YOU

425. ABOUT THIS SWAN.

426. - OR WHAT, LARRY? ARE YOU THREATENING ME? - YEAH.

427. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? WHAT WILL YOU DO TO ME?

428. - WHAT CAN YOU DO TO ME? - I'LL OPEN THAT CLOSET DOOR

429. AND DESTROY 'EM.

430. THE BLUE HAT, THE ORANGE HAT,

431. THE COCKLE SHELLS, THE ONE WITH THE FEATHERS,

432. AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE RED ONE YOU'RE MAKING FOR THAT ASSHOLE STONEMASON.

433. YOU STOP! TOUCH THOSE HATS!

434. - I WILL DESTROY THEM. - YOU WILL NOT TOUCH MY HATS!

435. GODDAMN MOUTH SHUT!

436. SHE WILL! YOU'RE NOT GONNA RUIN A HAT.

437. AND YOU! HOW DARE YOU SAY SOMETHING?

438. LARRY, I'M NOT GONNA TELL ANYBODY. DON'T WORRY.

439. - HEY. - HEY, L.D.

440. I FEEL SO NOSTALGIC.

441. - I'M THINKING ABOUT MY MOM AND DAD. - REALLY?

442. - WELL. - HOW'S YOUR DAD?

443. HE'S GOOD. HE'S GOOD.

444. YEAH, I'M CHANGING THE HEADSTONE.

445. - GREAT. GREAT. - BY THE WAY,

446. ON THE PHONE THE OTHER NIGHT?

447. WHAT AN ASSHOLE THIS GUY IS.

448. THAT'S NONE OF HIS BUSINESS,

449. HOW JETER'S OVERRATED.

450. WHAT AN IGNORANT MORON.

451. - OKAY. - MY GOD.

452. PLEASE, GIVE ME A BREAK. THERE'S NOT ONE PERSON

453. WHO'S EVER SAID THAT EXCEPT THIS ASSHOLE.

454. - HONESTLY. - I'M AN ASSHOLE?

455. WHO ARE YOU?

456. I'M ED— THE STONEMASON.

457. AH.

458. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

459. DID MARTY'S MOM'S HEADSTONE AND HIS DAD'S HEADSTONE.

460. I'M DOING NORM'S HEADSTONE.

461. YOURS REAL SOON, PRICK.

462. SEE YOU LATER, EDDIE.

463. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE WAS THE STONEMASON?

464. OH, YOU WANTED AN INTRODUCTION.

465. - IS THAT RIGHT? - YEAH.

466. WHAT ABOUT YOUR POLICY? NO INTRODUCTIONS.

467. I KNOW, BUT THERE'S EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES.

468. NO NO, YOU SAID SOCIAL CONVENTION.

469. SO I'M HOISTED ON MY OWN PETARD.

470. EXACTLY.

471. HMM.

472. WHERE'S JEFF?

473. OH, HE SAID HE WAS GONNA BE LATE.

474. LOOK, HE SENT ME THIS EMAIL.

475. LOOK AT THIS.

476. ABOUT THE SWAN.

477. - I THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA. - NO, IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA.

478. - KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. - Man: EVERYONE, IF I COULD HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?

479. IF YOU'LL PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS, WE'RE ABOUT TO GET STARTED.

480. THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING. AS YOU KNOW, THE FUNERAL IS TOMORROW,

481. SOMETHING SPECIAL TODAY,

482. AND THAT'S CELEBRATE NORM'S LIFE

483. MEMORIAL SERVICE.

484. AND WHERE ELSE?

485. HIS BELOVED CLUB.

486. A LEISURELY GAME OF GOLF.

487. YOUR CELL PHONES AND PAGERS.

488. THANK YOU. BYE-BYE.

489. - SORRY. DOING HERE?

490. - WHAT WHAT WHAT? - YOU KILLED HIM, LARRY.

491. OH, NO. IN FACT, I HAVE A THEORY I'D LIKE TO PRESENT TO YOU.

492. MAY I TELL YOU MY THEORY?

493. OKAY. I BELIEVE

494. ON THE 12TH HOLE

495. NEAR THE POND, AM I RIGHT?

496. - YEAH. - OKAY.

497. BY THE BLACK SWAN.

498. THE SWAN IS DEAD, LARRY.

499. HE'S DEAD NOW.

500. WITH NORM.

501. HERE, THE TWO OF THEM OVER HERE.

502. I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. I'M ON MY WAY TO THE LOCKER ROOM.

503. I'M HERE. I'M OVER HERE.

504. HERE'S NORM AND THE SWAN.

505. HERE'S NORM, KYOKO THE CRAZY BLACK SWAN.

506. NORM, HEART ATTACK, DOWN. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

507. THAT'S WHY NORM DIED.

508. WAS A MENACE.

509. THEY SHOULD'VE PUT THAT SWAN AWAY A LONG TIME AGO.

510. I DON'T KNOW WHO KILLED THAT BLACK SWAN,

511. WAS A HERO.

512. A HERO.

513. AH, MR. DAVID, I BELIEVE THIS IS YOURS.

514. YEAH.

515. THAT'S SOME BLACKBERRY YOU GOT HERE. THIS WHEEL IS AMAZING.

516. THOSE EMAILS, HUH?

517. YEAH.

518. - THANKS. - IT'S ALWAYS A PLEASURE SERVING YOU, SIR.

519. THERE'S NO DOUBT ABOUT THE SWAN KILLING.

520. HE'S GONNA TELL TAKAHASHI. WE'RE SCREWED.

521. WE'RE ALL SCREWED, THERE'S NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

522. THERE'S, UH— THERE'S AN 18% GRATUITY INCLUDED.

523. SO...

524. - THAT'S A SHAKEDOWN. - THAT'S A SHAKEDOWN.

525. AS CAN BE.

526. I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS.

527. ALL RIGHT.

528. - ALL SET? - MM-HMM.

529. GREAT. WE'LL SEE YOU.

530. IS THIS, UH—

531. IS THIS FOR REAL?

532. OH YEAH.

533. YEAH, THAT'S FOR REAL.

534. MR. DAVID, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

535. - YOU'RE WELCOME. - THIS IS SO GENEROUS.

536. AND LET'S— LET'S KEEP THIS BETWEEN THE TWO OF US.

537. - NO PROBLEM. - YOU KNOW, LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE.

538. YEAH. YEAH, LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE.

539. YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING ELSE.

540. THANK YOU AGAIN. REALLY.

541. WHAT A GENEROUS GUY.

542. I DON'T THINK HE KNEW TALKING ABOUT.

543. RIGHT BY THE POND. IT WAS THE SWAN.

544. THINK ABOUT IT. IT'S A THEORY.

545. ANYWAY, IT WAS A LOVELY SERVICE. I'LL SEE YOU AT THE CLUB.

546. LARRY, I'D LIKE TALK TO YOU.

547. YES, MR. TAKAHASHI?

548. ADDITIONAL TIP TO WAITER.

549. SUCH GENEROSITY.

550. YOU KNOW, MOST PEOPLE, THEY DON'T GIVE ADDITIONAL TIP.

551. MY BLACK SWAN, MY KYOKO.

552. I DIDN'T KILL KYOKO.

553. TO TELL YOU THAT.

554. YOU FORGIVE ME?

555. OKAY.

556. - I'LL FORGIVE YOU. - THANK YOU.

557. LOST A LITTLE FACE, DIDN'T YOU?

558. A LITTLE— OH, A LOT. I LOST A LOT OF FACE.

559. - GOT YOUR FACE BACK? - YES YES YES.

560. - OH, YOU GOING TO CAR? - ACTUALLY, I'M GOING TO SEE MY MOTHER'S GRAVESTONE,

561. BUT IT'S ON THE WAY TO THE PARKING LOT.

562. - WE WALK TOGETHER. - LET US WALK TOGETHER.

563. AFTER YOU, SIR. AFTER YOU.

564. WITH YOU ACTUALLY.

565. LET'S GET RID IN THE DINING ROOM.

566. - AND ADDITIONAL TIP. - NO MATH.

567. MAKE IT A 20% FLAT— MAKE IT 25%.

568. - YES, 25%. - 25%.

569. - HUH? YOU LIKE THAT? - I LOVE IT.

570. - OKAY, MR. TAKAHASHI. - I LIKE THAT.

571. VERY MUCH!

572. A BIG TIP

573. GO TO THE WAITER.

574. SO MUCH.

575. - ALL RIGHT, YOU TAKE CARE. - BYE BYE!

576. OKAY.