Curb Your Enthusiasm 7x2

1. HMM.

2. FUCK. FUCKER.

3. FUCK! AH!

4. - HEY, L.D.! - WHAT?

5. YOU UPSTAIRS— NOW.

6. YO, L.D.! WHERE YOU AT?

7. L.D.!

8. L.D., WHAT CHANNEL IS THAT E! CHANNEL ON?

9. - I CAN'T FIND IT. - I DON'T KNOW.

10. - YEAH. - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

11. ABOUT THE E! CHANNEL?

12. A LONG TREK UP HERE.

13. I'M SITTING HERE

14. SOME LITTLE STAIRS. SORRY ABOUT THAT, L.D.

15. - WHAT WAS YOU DOING, ANYWAY?

16. MYSELF ON IT.

17. LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THIS. I CAN'T OPEN THOSE PACKAGES.

18. - BAM! THERE IT IS. A PRODUCT THAT YOU CAN'T OPEN?

19. L.D., I'VE GOT

20. AND MY NAILS DONE.

21. - I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME. - AT NOON?

22. - MM-HMM. - OKAY, CANNOT DO IT. SORRY.

23. - WHY CAN'T YOU? - I'M SUPPOSED TO PLAY GOLF TOMORROW.

24. WELL, JUST MOVE IT TO ANOTHER TIME.

25. I CAN'T MOVE IT TO ANOTHER TIME.

26. BEFORE OR AFTER?

27. WELL, WHY DON'T YOU DRIVE?

28. 'CAUSE I HAVE CANCER

29. TO DRIVE ME. - YOU DO HAVE CANCER.

30. YES, I DO.

31. IT AFFECT YOUR DRIVING?

32. I DON'T THINK WANT ME TO DRIVE,

33. FOR YOU TO TAKE ME.

34. THE DOCTOR DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT DRIVING.

35. - L.D., I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT AT NOON.

36. ABOUT THE DRIVING?

37. - L.D., DO YOU KNOW

38. - TO HAVE CANCER?

39. WHO HAS CANCER.

40. OOH, SO THAT'S WHY

41. TAKE ME TO MY APPOINTMENT.

42. - OKAY. OKAY. - GOOD. GLAD WE'RE CLEAR ABOUT THAT.

43. NOON TOMORROW.

44. NO GOLF.

45. I'M GOING

46. AND HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND.

47. - DO YOU WANNA GO? GONNA BE THERE?

48. - NO. I WANT TO GO?

49. WITH CANCER.

50. NO, I— I DON'T WANNA GO.

51. GET ME ANOTHER TEA? - SURE.

52. - AND IT'S TIME TO MAKE MY JUICE. - I'LL BE BACK.

53. OH! L.D., HOLD ON.

54. HEY, MAN, LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING REAL QUICK.

55. HEY, I'VE GOT A FRIEND NAMED ALTON, RIGHT.

56. - WHO? ALTON? - ALTON. ALTON.

57. BIG "SEINFELD" FAN— LOVED THE FREAKING SHOW.

58. HE'S A LITTLE DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW.

59. TRYING TO, YOU KNOW— A CALL ON HIS BIRTHDAY?

60. - HE'S A BIG "SEINFELD" FAN? - BIG "SEINFELD" FAN!

61. THE SHOW, MAN. - WOW.

62. GOT A FINE-ASS WIFE.

63. I DON'T KNOW WHY WITH A WIFE THAT DAMN FINE.

64. - REALLY? REALLY? - SICK FINE. I'M TALKING SICK FINE.

65. - GORGEOUS? - SICK MEANING "GOOD."

66. - I GOT IT. YEAH. YEAH. - YOU GET THAT SHIT, RIGHT?

67. I'VE NEVER SEEN THE DAMN SHOW MYSELF,

68. SWEARS BY IT.

69. - WELL... ALL RIGHT, FINE. - YOU'LL GIVE HIM A CALL?

70. - I'LL CALL HIM LATER.

71. ON MY DRESSER.

72. I'LL LEAVE THE NUMBER FOR YOU. HE'S GONNA FUCKING FLIP OUT,

73. FUCKING WIFE.

74. Well, my next guest is, to say the least,

75. a maverick in the field of cancer treatment.

76. Her newest book is entitled "Walking Out on Cancer."

77. Please say hello to Dr. Karen Trundle.

78. Dr. Now, Dr. Trundle,

79. how does somebody walk out on cancer?

80. I do believe that a patient's personal relationships

81. can contribute to their cancer,

82. just like living next to a toxic waste dump can actually cause cancer.

83. If I determine that a patient of mine

84. is in a toxic relationship with their spouse,

85. I will counsel them to leave that spouse.

86. When we're talking about a toxic spouse,

87. we're talking about what?

88. Well, someone who is impatient,

89. someone who's obnoxious,

90. someone who is petty and argumentative,

91. and obsesses over meaningless details

92. at the expense of a harmonious relationship.

93. Okay, so you're telling me if you met with a new patient

94. and you saw that they were married to a person like that—

95. I would counsel them to leave and to never look back.

96. And that's how they walk out on cancer?

97. We've got a couple of your patients here—

98. DRINK IT UP. YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

99. ATTAGIRL! GOOD JOB! GOOD JOB!

100. - THANKS, L.D. - GOOD JOB.

101. HEY, I HEARD ABOUT

102. FOR US, ACTUALLY, BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO TOO.

103. WITH THE DOCTOR I'VE GOT?

104. BUT GET A SECOND OPINION.

105. - WHERE'D YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THIS DOCTOR? - A FRIEND OF MINE.

106. - A FRIEND OF YOURS? - MM-HMM.

107. - WHO? - PHIL.

108. - PHIL WHO? - PHIL KREEL... TON.

109. OKAY, ALL RIGHT. SECOND OPINION.

110. I'M GONNA TRUST YOU ON THIS ONE, L.D.

111. I'VE GOT ABOUT THIS DOCTOR,

112. A FEELING...

113. - YOU'VE GOT A FEELING. - ... I GET A FEELING.

114. THE LOOK OUT, L.D.

115. - Man: Hello? - OY, ALTON, THIS IS LARRY DAVID.

116. - Who? Larry? THE "SEINFELD" SHOW.

117. Larry— oh, Larry David?

118. I'M A FRIEND OF LEON'S. HE TOLD ME TO GIVE YOU A CALL.

119. IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY. - Oh, man!

120. I can believe you're calling me.

121. - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALTON. - That's amazing.

122. Man, "Seinfeld" is one of my favorite shows of all time.

123. OH, GREAT. ANYWAY, SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

124. - Thank you. - AND, YOU KNOW, LEON SAID YOU WERE A LITTLE DEPRESSED.

125. - Yeah. YOUR WIFE WAS BEAUTIFUL,

126. SO I DON'T KNOW DEPRESSED ABOUT, REALLY.

127. What— what do you mean about my wife?

128. - WHAT? - My w— why is he talking about my wife?

129. HE'S NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR WIFE. HE JUST SAID SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL.

130. Yeah, okay. Well, I know she's beautiful

131. but why is Leon telling you that my wife is beautiful?

132. - HE'S COMPLIMENTING HER. - That's not a compliment!

133. That's like another man looking at another man's woman.

134. - HE DIDN'T SAY SHE WAS UGLY. - I knew it was like that!

135. I've seen them together. They've been talking,

136. - always laughing. I knew it! - ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

137. - I'M GONNA TAKE OFF. - Yo, is he there?

138. - ANYWAY, IT'S GREAT TALKING TO YOU. - Put him on the phone!

139. AND GOOD LUCK. SEE YOU AROUND.

140. - Where you at right now? - Tell me where you at!

141. - HEY, I— I— - HI.

142. - OH, HEY. - JUST IN TIME.

143. - WE JUST SAT DOWN. - OH, IS THAT LEWIS'S NEW GIRLFRIEND?

144. YEAH. YEAH YEAH. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, HUH?

145. - Larry: IT'S NOT GONNA LAST. - Jeff: YOU'RE NOT GONNA

146. AND YOU'VE GOT TO SWEAR TO SECRECY.

147. - YOU SWEAR TO SECRECY? - COME ON, I'M A VAULT.

148. ON THE WAY OVER HERE,

149. SHE BLEW HIM IN THE CAR.

150. OH YEAH. OH YEAH.

151. - BLOWJOB IN THE CAR? - WHILE HE'S DRIVING.

152. WOW, HOW GENTILE.

153. GET THAT CLOSE TO HER, I CAN TELL YOU THAT.

154. - OKAY OKAY. - BY THE WAY, I DON'T APPROVE OF A BLOWJOB IN THE CAR AT ALL.

155. - REALLY? CELL PHONES IN MY OPINION.

156. - WHAT ABOUT HANDJOBS? - ANY KIND OF JOB IS DANGEROUS.

157. IT HAS TO AFFECT THE DRIVER. I CAN'T DENY IT.

158. BE ILLEGAL, FRANKLY.

159. BY THE WAY, WHY DO THEY CALL IT A JOB?

160. IS IT SO HARD? IS IT A LOT OF WORK?

161. - WELL, TUGGING, SUCKING. - TUGGING.

162. IT'S A LOT OF WORK. I WOULDN'T WANT TO DO IT.

163. IT IS A JOB. NO WONDER WHY THEY DON'T LIKE IT.

164. OH, LOOK WHO FINALLY COMES OVER.

165. - HEY. HELLO. - HI. BEVERLY.

166. HI. LARRY. HI.

167. YOU GUYS BEEN, HUH?

168. - HUH? OH, YOU KNOW— - JUST TALKING, CATCHING UP.

169. - WE'RE SITTING HERE FOR LIKE AN HOUR... - YEAH, SORRY.

170. - ... THERE'S NO BREAD, THE SERVICE SUCKS. - NO BREAD.

171. DON'T YOU GUYS WANT A DRINK? NO DRINKS.

172. I'D LOVE A DRINK. WHAT— WHAT IS THAT? THAT LOOKS INTERESTING.

173. - THAT DRINK. - MMM MMM MMM— POMEGRANATE SURPRISE.

174. - POMEGRANATE JUICE, BLUEBERRY JUICE. - UH-HUH.

175. HERE, HAVE A TRY.

176. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT— ANTIOXIDANTS, TEQUILA.

177. IT'S FABULOUS. MMM.

178. - MMM MMM. - Lewis: LOOK AT THE SALT ON THAT RIM.

179. - HERE. COME ON, GIVE IT A TRY. - NO NO. NO, THANKS.

180. - I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT - I DON'T THINK SO. THANK YOU.

181. - TAKE A LITTLE SIP. - NO! NO.

182. I DON'T LIKE TO TAKE SIPS.

183. I DON'T. I DON'T TAKE BITES EITHER.

184. NO BITES, NO SIPS. YEAH.

185. - OH, HEY, BREAD. FABULOUS. - Susie: FINALLY.

186. - LOOK AT THIS. - ABOUT TIME.

187. I'M STARVING.

188. THANK YOU, LAR. VERY NICE OF YOU.

189. A PLEASURE. PLEASURE.

190. - I'VE GOT THE NEXT ONE, BUDDY. - DO YOU?

191. TO MICHAEL YORK'S PARTY?

192. MICHAEL YORK'S PARTY. YOU KNOW, I REALLY LOVE MICHAEL YORK,

193. BUT THE GUY— HE LIVES IN THE BOONDOCKS. I'LL NEVER FIND THE PLACE.

194. NAV SYSTEM WE GAVE YOU?

195. GREAT GIFT, AND THANK YOU SO MUCH.

196. I COULDN'T OPEN— I COULDN'T OPEN THE PACKAGE.

197. - Susie: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - IT COMES— IT'S ENTOMBED IN THIS PLASTIC.

198. IT WITH A KNIFE. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

199. THERE'S A TAB. YOU PULL THE TAB.

200. - NO, THERE WAS NO TAB, SUSIE. - NO PERFORATION?

201. - NO, NO PERFORATION— NOTHING.

202. - OR A BOX CUTTER, OKAY? - THERE YOU GO.

203. - A BOX CUTTER? - Jeff: YES.

204. WHO AM I, MOHAMED ATTA? I GOTTA BUY A BOX CUTTER?

205. - I MEAN IT'S CRAZY. - WE'RE LATE. WE'RE GONNA GO SEE "LAST TANGO IN PARIS,"

206. - MY FAVORITE FILM, FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME. - OH MY, "LAST TANGO IN PARIS."

207. WHAT A PIECE OF CRAP.

208. "PUT BUTTER UP MY ASS."

209. I MEAN, IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A MOVIE?

210. THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE GOT THERE.

211. FOREIGN FILMS OR ANYTHING. IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU.

212. - WE'VE GOTTA GO. WE'RE GONNA MISS THE FILM. - HAVE YOU SEEN IT?

213. - SUSIE, NICE TO MEET YOU. - BYE, BEVERLY. YOU TOO.

214. - OH, LARRY. - AH!

215. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH YOU?

216. - WHAT? - SINCE YOU ARRIVED,

217. YOU'VE JUST BEEN... WEIRD.

218. - WHAT? NO. - YEAH, I WAS JUST SO

219. - OH! - I-I'M— I'M SORRY.

220. DID YOU DO?

221. TO HAVE A LITTLE DRINK. YOU WOULDN'T TAKE IT.

222. AT A SEDER. YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT?

223. WHAT IS SHE, A LEPER, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE?

224. - ALL RIGHT, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? - YES, I WANT TO KNOW WHY.

225. COME ON, TELL ME THE TRUTH. DON'T LIE TO ME.

226. - YOU KNOW, DON'T LIE. - NO, 'CAUSE I HAVE—

227. OKAY, I HAVE A COLD SORE AND I DIDN'T WANT TO KISS HER.

228. - YOU HAVE A COLD SORE? - YEAH.

229. AND I WAS— I WAS EMBARRASSED.

230. - SO WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER? - I WAS EMBARRASSED.

231. - I'M SORRY. - Lewis: UH-HUH.

232. I'LL NEVER GET LAID AGAIN.

233. THE WHOLE RESTAURANT.

234. LARRY!

235. LARRY!

236. LARRY!

237. - YOU GOT X-ACTO KNIVES? - SURE, RIGHT HERE.

238. OH, OKAY. CAN I SEE THAT RED ONE?

239. - SURE THING. - JEEZ, I CAN'T OPEN THE VACUUM-SEALED PACKAGING.

240. - IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. YOU CAN'T OPEN IT. - OH YEAH.

241. - I'LL TAKE THIS ONE. - OKAY.

242. LARRY.

243. WHY'D YOU TELL ALTON I WAS FUCKING HIS WIFE?

244. WHAT? COME HERE. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

245. I'M FUCKING HIS WIFE?

246. NO, I SAID THAT YOU SAID THAT HIS WIFE WAS BEAUTIFUL,

247. AND THAT'S ALL I SAID. THAT'S ALL I SAID.

248. THAT SHIT TO HIM,

249. THAT'S IMPLYING THAT I'M FUCKING HER.

250. - WELL, JUST TELL HIM THAT YOU'RE NOT. - BUT I AM!

251. - YOU ARE? - I'M TAPPING THAT ASS!

252. I'VE BEEN KUNG-FUING THAT ASS FOR A WHILE NOW.

253. - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? - SAID, FUCKING THAT ASS— THEY'RE THE SAME THING.

254. WITH MARRIED WOMEN?

255. - ASS IS ASS, LARRY. - ASS IS NOT ASS.

256. - ASS IS FUCKING ASS, LARRY. IT'S WHAT THE FUCK I DO. - NO, IT'S NOT.

257. WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAP EVERY ASS.

258. DO YOU? DO YOU HAVE TO TAP EVERY ASS?

259. WE GONNA DO RIGHT NOW?

260. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WE"? - ALTON'S GONNA FUCK SOMEBODY UP.

261. TO DO WITH THIS! I'M NOT TAPPING ANYBODY!

262. YOU'RE TAPPING! I'M NOT TAPPING!

263. THIS SHIT NOW WITH ME, GOD DAMN IT.

264. WE ARE LEGO. LEGO SET RIGHT NOW.

265. INTERLOCKED TOGETHER. WE FUCKED HER.

266. GET AWAY FROM ME. GET OUT OF HERE.

267. - FIX THIS SHIT. FIX IT! - I'M NOT FIXING ANYTHING.

268. $10.

269. FIRST OF ALL, LORETTA,

270. ABOUT YOUR DIAGNOSIS,

271. TO KNOW THAT WE'RE GONNA GET YOU THROUGH THIS...

272. - THANK YOU, DR. TRUNDLE. - ... WITHOUT A DOUBT.

273. AND THERE'S SOMETHING THAT'S HAPPENING TOMORROW NIGHT.

274. I'M ACTUALLY GIVING A TALK ON COPING STRATEGIES...

275. - YOU EVER DO THAT? - ... FOR NEWLY-DIAGNOSED

276. IT'S LIKE HOW HORSES DO IT, RIGHT?

277. AND I CAN SEE WHY THEY DO IT. IT FEELS GOOD.

278. BEEN TOGETHER? THIS SEEMS...

279. IT'S BEEN ABOUT A—

280. LIKE A FAIRLY NEW RELATIONSHIP.

281. - IT'S BEEN ABOUT A YEAR NOW. - ABOUT A YEAR?

282. DESCRIBE THESE ARTIFACTS?

283. WHAT IS IT EXACTLY?

284. - THAT'S AFRICAN ART. - AFRICAN?

285. - REALLY? HEY— AFRICAN. - YES.

286. WHAT, I'M SUPPOSED TO HER 'CAUSE I'M BLACK?

287. DUH!

288. MR. DAVID, PLEASE HAVE A SEAT,

289. THE HISTORY HERE. - SURE. OKAY, SURE.

290. SO ARE YOU ALL

291. A HAPPY, HEALTHY, COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP?

292. NEW YEAR TO YOU.

293. - NO, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW.

294. - OKAY, YES. MOST OF THE TIME.

295. WHO'S THIS GUY? IS THAT YOUR HUSBAND?

296. - YES. - OY, HE'S GOT SOME HEALTHY HEAD OF HAIR, THIS ONE.

297. YES, HE WAS BLESSED FOLLICLY, YES.

298. OH, HE WAS BLESSED. SO, WHAT? I'M UNBLESSED. IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?

299. NO, I WASN'T REFERRING TO YOU AT ALL.

300. ARE NOT BLESSED?

301. TO DO WITH YOU.

302. WE DON'T BELONG ON THE SAME PLANET AS THE BLESSED HAIRS?

303. NOW, AS I WAS SAYING, THAT YOU HAVE,

304. YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS...

305. - Larry: OOH. - ... IN A COMFORTABLE, EASY PLACE?

306. AND THINGS LIKE THAT...

307. - Larry: OH YEAH. - ... BUT OVERALL WE GET ALONG PRETTY GOOD.

308. YOU KNOW, THE CANCER, HOW MUCH—

309. - YOU REMEMBER THAT COMMERCIAL? - NO.

310. - EVER SEE THAT ONE?

311. RIGHT OUTSIDE.

312. - RIGHT, SINCE HE CAN'T FOCUS.

313. SOME VERY INTIMATE, PERSONAL THINGS THAT, AS A WOMAN,

314. OF SELF-IMAGE, I THINK WOULD BE BETTER DISCUSSED...

315. - THAT WOULD SO WORK FOR ME TOO. - ... JUST IN OUR COMPANY.

316. YEAH, MAYBE YOU'LL FIND

317. - THAT'LL WORK FOR YOU. - I UNDERSTAND.

318. - ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. - DISCUSS, YOU TWO, YOU SIT, YOU TALK.

319. YOU'LL HAVE COFFEE. YOU'LL DISCUSS.

320. DISCUSS. YOU'LL TALK. YOU'LL DO THIS. YOU'LL DO THAT.

321. - HAVE SOME GIRL TIME. - YOU ENJOY YOURSELVES, HAVE A GOOD DISCUSSION.

322. I'LL BE OUT THERE. YOU'LL BE HERE.

323. WE'LL TALK— LAT.

324. YOU'RE GONNA NEED VERY DIFFICULT RIGHT NOW.

325. - 6:00. - AH. MR. TRUNDLE?

326. - YEAH. ON YOUR WIFE'S DESK.

327. OH, RIGHT. TAKE CARE THEN.

328. - OKAY. - ALL RIGHT.

329. LARRY?

330. LARRY DAVID. DEAN. DEAN WEINSTOCK.

331. - OH MY GOD. HEY. - YEAH, USED TO BE YOUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR.

332. - YEAH. HEY. - HEY, MAN. IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

333. HEY HEY.

334. - WHOA! - OH, CHRIST!

335. - OH MY GOD. - THESE ARE— ARE BROKEN.

336. - OH, DEAR. - THANK YOU.

337. - OH, MAN. TO SEE YOU, MAN.

338. - THAT'S AWESOME. - GOOD TO SEE YOU.

339. - IT'S GREAT. - I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR GLASSES.

340. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'LL SEND YOU A BILL.

341. TELL ME, HOW'S CHERYL? HOW'S— WHERE'D YOU GUYS MOVE TO?

342. WHA— WHAT— YOU'LL WHAT? YOU'LL SEND ME A BILL?

343. - IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID? - YEAH, THESE ARE— I DON'T THINK THESE CAN BE FIXED.

344. - WAIT A SECOND. - YEAH?

345. - YOU'RE GONNA SEND ME A BILL? - JUST FOR THE GLASSES.

346. - WHY? - 'CAUSE THEY'RE LIKE $219.

347. I— I DIDN'T BREAK YOUR GLASSES.

348. IT WAS THE HUG THAT BROKE 'EM. IT WASN'T YOU SPECIFICALLY...

349. - OKAY, YEAH. - ... BUT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO INSTIGATED THE HUG.

350. I DIDN'T INST— I INSTIGATED THE HUG?

351. YEAH, I CAME IN

352. NO, I CAME IN FOR A SHAKE A MOVE FOR THE HUG,

353. - SO I WENT IN. I SAID THE "HEY."

354. I THINK YOU'RE MISTAKING MY "HEY" FOR A HUG.

355. INITIATE THE HUG...

356. - YES? YEAH? - ... WHICH I DIDN'T,

357. THAT STILL DOESN'T FOR YOUR GLASSES.

358. THEY'RE YOUR GLASSES. THEY'RE AROUND YOUR NECK.

359. WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, I FEEL LIKE YOU DIDN'T

360. THEN I DID THE "HEY," THEN I DID THE SHAKE,

361. THEN YOU CAME IN AND,

362. YOU DID NOT RECOGNIZE ME,

363. - THAT BROKE MY GLASSES. - OKAY, THAT'S AN INCREDIBLY IDIOTIC THEORY.

364. I THINK, BECAUSE YOU'RE A NEEDY PERSON,

365. YOU WANTED ME TO LIKE YOU, SO YOU HUGGED ME.

366. FIRST OF ALL, I'M NOT A NEEDY PERSON.

367. OKAY? THAT'S NUMBER ONE. AT ALL, OKAY?

368. I WASN'T OVERCOMPENSATING. I DON'T LIKE YOU. WHY WOULD I WANT TO HUG YOU?

369. - ALL RIGHT. - I'M NOT PAYING FOR YOUR GLASSES.

370. I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO PAY FOR THE GLASSES.

371. I'M ASKING YOU GLASSES THAT YOU BROKE.

372. I'M STILL PAYING FOR THEM EVEN IF I REPLACE THEM,

373. AM I NOT? WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

374. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW AN OPTOMETRIST. I DON'T KNOW.

375. - NO, I DON'T KNOW ANY OPTOMETRISTS. - WELL, I DIDN'T THINK YOU DID

376. SO, IN THAT CASE, THAT'S WHY I'M INVOICING YOU.

377. OKAY, YOU SEND ME THE INVOICE. I'M GOING TO RIP IT UP INTO

378. - AND I MIGHT EVEN PEE ON IT. - WHY— WHY ARE WE FIGHTING IN HERE?

379. WE'RE FIGHTING BECAUSE YOU'RE A MORON. THAT'S WHY WE'RE FIGHTING.

380. I HAVE CANCER, RIGHT?

381. THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

382. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A FIGHT WITH YOU.

383. IN FACT, MY DOCTOR SAID TO NOT HAVE ANY FIGHTS AT ALL.

384. OKAY, I'LL—

385. I'LL PAY FOR THE GLASSES.

386. YOU'LL REPLACE THE GLASSES.

387. I'LL PAY FOR THE GLASSES.

388. ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY.

389. IT FEELS GOOD, RIGHT?

390. FROM THAT DOCTOR.

391. PRETTY PRETTY GOOD.

392. YEAH, SHE'S PRETTY SMART.

393. YEAH. YEAH, WHAT DID YOU GUYS TALK ABOUT?

394. SHE TOLD ME THERE'S CERTAIN THINGS I'VE GOT TO DO TO MAKE SURE I GET WELL.

395. WELL, YOU GOT TO DO 'EM, YOU'VE GOT TO DO 'EM.

396. - YEAH. - IF THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID,

397. YOU'VE GOT TO LISTEN TO THE DOCTOR.

398. WITHOUT YOUR HEALTH, YOU'RE NOTHING.

399. EVEN WITH HEALTH.

400. THAT CATEGORY SOMETIMES.

401. AND I HAVE HEALTH.

402. TO HER LECTURE TOMORROW.

403. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL DRIVE YOU. HOW ABOUT THAT?

404. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

405. RELATIONSHIP.

406. - I DID? - THAT'S RIGHT, AND A VERY SPECIAL ONE, TOO.

407. I EVER HAD.

408. REALLY? THE LAST ONE WAS SPECIAL.

409. ON THAT ONE.

410. QUITE A FEW SPECIAL GIRLS.

411. I'VE MADE MISTAKES. NOT THIS ONE.

412. THIS ONE'S MORE SPECIAL?

413. THIS IS THE MOST SPECIAL.

414. - NO QUESTION ABOUT IT? - NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.

415. YOU'VE TAKEN OUT?

416. - I THINK SHE MIGHT BE. - REALLY?

417. THAT'S RIGHT, AND SHE NEEDS AN APOLOGY.

418. OKAY? SO COME ON.

419. ME TO SAY?

420. I DON'T— YOU KNOW, THE THING.

421. - OKAY, FINE. - THANK YOU.

422. YOU'D BETTER GET ME OUT OF THIS.

423. HEY, BEVERLY. I— HONESTLY,

424. BUT, UM—

425. - WHAT'S WRONG? - WOULD YOU BACK UP, PLEASE?

426. YOU'RE RIGHT ON MY NECK HERE. JUST BACK UP A LITTLE BIT.

427. - YOU'RE BREATHING DOWN MY NECK. - SORRY, I'M—

428. ANYWAY, I'M REALLY SORRY

429. IN THE RESTAURANT. THAT WAS BAD.

430. TO THE RESTAURANT, SO THAT'S WHY—

431. - WHAT? JEFF SAID— JEFF SAID WHAT? - WHAT DID YOU SAY?

432. BLOWJOB? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

433. WHAT IS THIS? WHAT, AM I IN GRADE THREE OR SOMETHING?

434. LOOK, I HAVEN'T HAD A BLOWJOB IN ABOUT FIVE YEARS,

435. - SO I WAS EXCITED, SO IT SLIPPED OUT. - I KNOW! I CAN TELL!

436. YOU'RE NOT GONNA FUCKING FIVE YEARS!

437. SOMETHING LIKE THAT, HUH?

438. - WHAT? YOU TOLD ME TO TELL THE TRUTH. - ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?

439. - TELL THE TRUTH? - YEAH.

440. FOR CHRIST'S' SAKE! THAT'S WHAT THE TRUTH WOULD HAVE BEEN!

441. WHAT? NO NO NO.

442. 'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO KISS HER! ANYWAY, YOU WENT LIKE THIS!

443. THAT'S THE SIGN FOR BLOWJOB. THAT'S A BLOWJOB SIGN.

444. - NO, IT'S COLD SORE. IT'S "I'M CHOKING." - THAT'S COLD SORE?

445. THAT'S AN I'M-EATING- CORN-ON-THE-COB THING.

446. THAT'S A BLOWJOB, BUDDY, WHERE I COME FROM. YEAH.

447. WHY COULDN'T YOU LIKE A HUMAN BEING?

448. KISS HER GOODBYE? SHE'S GOT YOUR SEMEN ON HER LIPS. I'M NOT GONNA KISS HER.

449. - SHE HAD MY SEMEN ON HER LIPS. - YES! YEAH, SECONDHAND SEMEN.

450. YOU CAN'T BE A HOMOSEXUAL BY PROXY.

451. IT'S PROBABLY IN THE FUCKING CONSTITUTION.

452. BE GAY BY PROXY.

453. - CHRIST. - ANYWAY, SORRY.

454. TO GET HOME BY THE WAY?

455. EH, YOU TAKE A BUS.

456. CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING? I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS LECTURE.

457. - WHY? - COME ON.

458. TO SOMEBODY THIS SMART?

459. NOT EVEN SMART, BRILLIANT. SHE'S BRILLIANT.

460. I GET IT. YOU WERE IMPRESSED. OKAY?

461. THE DR. TRUNDLE AND THE BRILLIANCE.

462. I GET YOUR POINT, OKAY?

463. HEY, DR. TRUNDLE'S HUSBAND.

464. YEAH. I REMEMBER HIM FROM THE PICTURE.

465. YEAH, RIGHT. YEAH, I SAW HIM YESTERDAY IN THE RECEPTION AREA.

466. - REALLY? - YEAH. HE'S PROBABLY ON HIS WAY TO THE LECTURE.

467. YEAH.

468. IS THAT DR. TRUNDLE?

469. GO— IT—

470. L.D., IS SHE GIVING HIM A BLOWJOB?

471. - THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. - OH MY GOSH!

472. - WOW. - Loretta: OH NO.

473. OH, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO, L.D.

474. THIS CAR AROUND. - WHAT?

475. - TURN THE CAR AROUND! - SO WHAT? SO SHE'S GIVING HIM A BLOWJOB.

476. - WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? - NO NO NO! I CAN'T TRUST

477. TO CURE MY CANCER, THAT IN THE CAR!

478. - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? - SHE MUST'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR THERAPEUTIC REASONS.

479. TO TAKE ME HOME, L.D. - THE LECTURE!

480. L.D., TURN THIS CAR AROUND.

481. - HI. - HI.

482. THIS TO DEAN WEINSTOCK? HE'S A PATIENT HERE.

483. - SURE. OKAY. - IT'S A CHECK FOR HIS GLASSES.

484. - MR. DAVID. - HELLO.

485. HI, WHAT A SURPRISE.

486. - YOU HERE ALONE? - YEAH.

487. TO TALK TO YOU. DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?

488. - SURE. - GREAT. WE'LL GO BACK TO MY OFFICE.

489. - MELISSA, WOULD YOU HOLD ALL THE CALLS, PLEASE? - SURE, DR. TRUNDLE.

490. THIS WAY.

491. COME ON IN.

492. AT THE LECTURE YESTERDAY.

493. THAT YOU WEREN'T THERE

494. THE RELATIONSHIP.

495. AND THAT'S WHY

496. YOU DIDN'T WANT HER TO BE THERE.

497. NO NO, THAT'S THE FURTHEST THING FROM THE TRUTH.

498. OF EXPERIENCE WITH THIS,

499. OFTEN HAVE THIS REACTION.

500. IT'S CERTAINLY UNDERSTANDABLE. IT'S VERY THREATENING.

501. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A WOMAN'S LIFE

502. AND I'M SAYING JUST DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

503. IT'S NOT TRUE. I REJECT YOUR HYPOTHESIS.

504. WHY DIDN'T SHE COME TO THE LECTURE?

505. WANT TO KNOW WHY? - OF COURSE I DO.

506. OKAY, I'M GOING TO TELL YOU.

507. TO THE LECTURE, WE WERE ON OUR WAY...

508. - MM-HMM. - ... AND THEN

509. IN THE CAR AHEAD OF US.

510. THAT SHE DIDN'T WANT

511. WITH A DOCTOR WHO WOULD, YOU KNOW, DO THAT.

512. WHO WOULD DO WHAT?

513. COME ON.

514. OH MY GOD.

515. DRIVING THE CAR,

516. AND YES, ON HIS SIDE OF THE CAR,

517. FOR THE CELL PHONE.

518. TO LOOK FOR THE CELL PHONE.

519. YOU ARE SO RIDICULOUS. YOU ARE SO JUVENILE.

520. - I DON'T KNOW.

521. - I'M TALKING ABOUT IN THIS BOOK. - ME?

522. YES. YOU ARE A TINY,

523. LITTLE, INSECURE,

524. A 12-YEAR-OLD!

525. - I THINK YOU BLEW HIM. - OH MY GOD!

526. YOU THINK I BLEW HIM?

527. IN YOUR MIND THAN THAT?

528. YOU'RE OUT OF CONTROL! GET HIM OUT OF MY OFFICE!

529. OH SHIT. OH SHIT.

530. - MY SHOES ARE IN THERE. - ALTON'S HERE!

531. - WHAT? - ALTON'S AT THE FRONT DOOR!

532. HIS WIFE HERE? YOU IDIOT!

533. - I KNOW, MAN. I'M SORRY. - YOU SEE?

534. - I'M SORRY. - NOTHING, RIGHT? SHE'S NOT HERE. SEE?

535. I DIDN'T— I DIDN'T MEAN

536. YEAH, YOU COME UP HERE, A WHITE MAN'S HOUSE—

537. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. JUST FORGIVE ME.

538. - I'M— - ALL RIGHT, BROTHER.

539. - BOY! SHIT. - I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK THOUGH, OKAY?

540. - ALL RIGHT. - I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

541. IT'S OKAY. HE'S GONE.

542. THANK GOD.

543. WHAT THE HELL?

544. OKAY. NOW COME ON. GET IN THE CAR. GET IN THE CAR.

545. OUT OF HERE AND WE AIN'T NEVER COMING BACK.

546. YOU GOT ME TWISTED, L.D., OKAY?

547. TASTE OF CHOCOLATE,

548. AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU CHEATING ON ME?

549. THAT'S RIGHT. I SAW YOUR ASS,

550. YOU CHEATING, NO-GOOD, BALD-HEADED MOTHERFUCKER! I'M OUT!

551. FUCK YOU, LARRY DAVID! THAT'S SOME BULLSHIT!

552. SOMEBODY GOT ON YOUR ASS. WHAT HAPPENED?

553. THEY'RE GONE. WE HAD A BIG FIGHT.

554. THEY'RE NOT COMING BACK.

555. - WHAT? - YEAH.

556. - HUH. - HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?

557. THAT'S SOME SHIT RIGHT THERE. MMM.

558. SO, UM...

559. YOU'LL BE...

560. GOING UPSTAIRS, CHINESE FOOD...

561. IN MY FUCKING ROOM.

562. HEY, LEWIS, IT'S ME.

563. I'M ON MY WAY TO MICHAEL YORK'S.

564. MAYBE I'LL SEE YOU THERE.

565. OTHERWISE, I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW.

566. OKAY, BYE.

567. HOLY SHIT.

568. OH MY GOD.

569. JEFF?

570. - JESUS CHRIST! - LARRY!

571. - WHAT THE HELL? - WHOA!

572. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

573. - WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? - OY, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!

574. - WHAT THE— JEEZ! - ALL RIGHT! ENOUGH!

575. A BLOWJOB?

576. OKAY, YEAH, WE KNOW WHAT IT IS.

577. - JESUS CHRIST! - ALL RIGHT, STOP IT!

578. - LARRY... - I'M STUCK. I'M STUCK.

579. - I CAN'T GET THE SEAT BELT OFF. - ... CAN YOU HELP US?

580. - I BOUGHT AN X-ACTO KNIFE! - AN X-ACTO KNIFE!

581. - IT'S IN THE CAR! - GO GET IT! GO GET IT!

582. - GREAT! GO GET IT! YEAH! - I'LL CUT THE SEAT BELT!

583. - Susie: HURRY! WERE DANGEROUS.

584. - COME ON! - GET THE FUCKING KNIFE!

585. FUCK!

586. OH, JEFF, I CAN'T MOVE!

587. - HURRY! - NO!

588. - Jeff: COME ON! - Susie: GET IT!

589. GET THE FUCKING KNIFE!

590. - Jeff: OH, COME ON! - Susie: WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING SO LONG?

591. COME ON!

592. OH MY GOD, I SMELL GAS!