1. - HEY, LARRY.
- HI, CHA CHA.Copy !req
2. THANKS AGAIN
FOR RECOMMENDING ME
FOR THIS JOB.Copy !req
3. - THANKS.
YOU WERE SO GREAT.
- OH. GOOD.Copy !req
4. AND RICHARD SAYS
THANK YOU TOO.Copy !req
5. - AREN'T THESE GREAT?
- YEAH.Copy !req
6. YOU LIKE 'EM?
I COULD GET YOU A PAIR.Copy !req
7. NAH, THAT'S OKAY.
I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM.Copy !req
8. IT'S LIKE ROSS
DOWN BY THE AIRPORT—
THEY DON'T DO JUST CLOTHES.Copy !req
9. THEY DO HOUSEWARES TOO,
IF YOU'RE INTERESTED.Copy !req
10. - THAT'S OKAY.
I'LL— I'LL—
- SO HOW ARE YOU TODAY?Copy !req
11. - GOOD. I'M JUST
GOING TO THE BATHROOM.
- YEAH? IS THAT PRADA?Copy !req
12. - HEY, LARRY.
- OH, HEY, BURT.Copy !req
13. - 1:00 LUNCH, RIGHT?
- YEAH, 1:00.Copy !req
14. YEAH, LUNCH
WITH THE WIVES.Copy !req
15. DOWNSTAIRS, YEAH.
SEE YOU THEN.Copy !req
16. - HE'S GREAT, ISN'T HE?
- HE IS A GOOD GUY, YEAH.Copy !req
17. I WANNA BE A PRODUCER.
HOW DO YOU BECOME
A PRODUCER?Copy !req
18. YOU KNOW,
YOU GOTTA KNOW PEOPLE.Copy !req
19. - WELL, I KNOW YOU.
- YOU KNOW ME, YEAH.
THAT'S TRUE. OKAY.Copy !req
20. - MAYBE WE COULD TALK ABOUT
THAT SOMETIME OVER LUNCH.
- YEAH, SURE.Copy !req
21. GREAT. OKAY.
JUST LET ME KNOW WHEN...Copy !req
22. - ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
- ... AND I'LL WRITE IT
IN MY FILOFAX.Copy !req
23. WOW, THAT WAS QUICK.Copy !req
24. YOU DON'T REALLY NEED
TO COMMENTCopy !req
25. ON WHAT'S GOING ONCopy !req
26. - IN TERMS OF THAT
OR ANYTHING.
- OH, OKAY. I'M SORRY.Copy !req
27. OKAY.
- BY THE WAY, HOW DO YOU
GET HERE IN THE MORNING?Copy !req
28. I'M HAVING A HARD TIME
GETTING HERE ON TIME.
WHAT IF WE CARPOOLED?Copy !req
29. I REALLY GOTTA GET BACK,
OKAY? SO...Copy !req
30. OKAY, MAYBE YOU COULD
THINK ABOUT IT AND...Copy !req
31. YEAH, WE'RE NOT—
WE PROBABLY WON'T BE ABLE
TO WORK THAT OUT,Copy !req
32. BUT I'LL—
WE'LL THINK ABOUT IT.Copy !req
33. YOU HAVE ONE OF THOSE
HEALTHY CARS.Copy !req
34. HOW DOES IT WORK?Copy !req
35. YOU PUT YOUR FOOTON THE GAS.Copy !req
36. IT WAS LIKE HAVING
A BATHROOM MONITOR.Copy !req
37. - I HAVE A BATHROOM MONITOR.
- OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE.Copy !req
38. WHY DON'T YOU GO AT HOME,
LIKE I DO?Copy !req
39. I DON'T LIKE
TO GO IN MY HOUSE.Copy !req
40. WHO DOESN'T LIKE
TO GO IN THEIR HOUSE?Copy !req
41. CHERYL HAS— YOU KNOW,
SHE'S AN ENVIRONMENTALIST.Copy !req
42. SHE HAS THIS RECYCLEDCopy !req
43. POST-CONSUMER TOILET PAPER
ALL OVER THE HOUSE.Copy !req
44. - OH.
- IT'S COARSE.Copy !req
45. IT'S LIKE GOING
TO THE PORT AUTHORITYCopy !req
46. - OR A WHALING VESSEL.
- A WHALING VESSEL!Copy !req
47. I CAN'T GO HERE
AND I CAN'T GO THERE.
IT'S HORRIBLE.Copy !req
48. OH, JEEZ.Copy !req
49. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO TO LUNCH.Copy !req
50. I LOVE THAT
YOU HAVE A RESTAURANT
IN YOUR BUILDING.Copy !req
51. - OH, AND LARRY...
- MMM.Copy !req
52. AGAIN, I WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR CHA CHA.Copy !req
53. - THAT HAS WORKED OUT
VERY WELL.
- WHAT?Copy !req
54. - CHA CHA.
SHE'S BEEN WONDERFUL.
- OH MY GOD, CHA CHA?Copy !req
55. - CHA CHA'S BEEN WONDERFUL.
- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?Copy !req
56. I APOLOGIZE FOR HAVING
EVEN RECOMMENDED HER.Copy !req
57. - NO NO.
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO
LIE TO ME.Copy !req
58. OKAY? YOU DON'T
HAVE TO LIE TO ME.Copy !req
59. NO, I WOULDN'T.
NO, SHE'S WORKED OUT
VERY WELL.Copy !req
60. - NO, SHE'S TERRIBLE.
- BETTER THAN EXPECTED.Copy !req
61. SHE'S TERRIBLE AND
IF YOU WANT TO FIRE HER,
GO AHEAD.Copy !req
62. OH, RIGHT.
NO NO.Copy !req
63. - DON'T KEEP HER
ON MY ACCOUNT, OKAY?
- I WON'T.Copy !req
64. YOU'RE NOT GONNA
HURT MY FEELINGS
IF YOU FIRE HER.Copy !req
65. WE'RE VERY HAPPY WITH HER.
WHAT CAN I SAY?Copy !req
66. I'VE NOTICED THAT
EVERY TIMECopy !req
67. I PASS YOUR OFFICE—
THAT SHE'S NOT WORKING,Copy !req
68. THAT SHE'S READING OR
TALKING ON THE PHONE.
BY THE WAY—Copy !req
69. WELL, THAT'S HER JOB.
SHE'S SUPPOSED TO—
SHE'S A RECEPTIONIST.Copy !req
70. SHE'S SUPPOSED
TO USE OBSCENITIES
EVERY OTHER WORD,Copy !req
71. SAY "FUCK" AND
"FUCK THIS, CUNT THAT"
THE WHOLE TIME?Copy !req
72. - Susie: YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
- NO, I'M NOT KIDDING.Copy !req
73. - THE "C" WORD?
- IT'S TRUE, I SWEAR.Copy !req
74. OH, SHE'S BEEN VERY—
SHE REALLY CAME ALONGCopy !req
75. AT A GOOD TIME
FOR ALL OF US.Copy !req
76. I AM VERY IMPRESSED,
BARBARA, THAT YOU ARE
HERE TODAY.Copy !req
77. - OH, THANK YOU. ME TOO.
- THEY'VE GOT NINE KIDS.Copy !req
78. - Susie: NINE KIDS?
NINE KIDS?
- YEAH. YEAH.Copy !req
79. - Jeff: NINE KIDS?
THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
- Barbara: I KNOW.Copy !req
80. JESUS, YOU'RE KIDDING.Copy !req
81. IT'S A LITTLE EGOTISTICAL
THOUGH, ISN'T IT...Copy !req
82. NO, IT'S REALLY
NOT UP TO US.Copy !req
83. TO HAVE
SO MANY OF YOU?Copy !req
84. YOU WANT TO BRING
SO MUCH MORE OF YOU
INTO THE WORLD.Copy !req
85. HEY HEY HEY,
YOU SHOULD TELL LARRY
ABOUT YOUR DAD'S SHOP.Copy !req
86. OH, MY DAD HAS OPENED
THIS BARBERSHOP.Copy !req
87. HE WANTS YOU BOTH TO COME,
SPECIAL INVITATION.Copy !req
88. COMPLETELY RETRO,
VERY OLD-SCHOOL.Copy !req
89. - YOU MEAN,
LIKE THE OLD BARBERSHOPS?
- OH YEAH, WITH THE POLE.Copy !req
90. I LOVE THAT.
WHAT A GREAT IDEA.Copy !req
91. - THE FIRST THING
HE DID WAS GET THE POLE.
- I'M GONNA GO.Copy !req
92. - Jeff: I'M GONNA GO WITH YOU.
- DOES HE DO THE HOT TOWELS?Copy !req
93. - SHOULD WE GO
TO THE BARBERSHOP?
- I'M WITH YOU. LET'S GO.Copy !req
94. - WE'RE GONNA GO.
- YEAH, GET A CUT
AND A SHAVE.Copy !req
95. - A LITTLE AQUA VELVA?
- Susie: LIKE "THE GODFATHER."Copy !req
96. I HOPE THAT YOU
ENJOYED YOUR LUNCH.Copy !req
97. DAVIDAY,
IT WAS FANTASTIC.Copy !req
98. GOOD.
I WANT TO LET YOU KNOWCopy !req
99. THAT WE ARE GOING TO SEND
OUR AUTUMN FOOD JELLIESCopy !req
100. MADE OF CONCENTRATED
SUGAR, APRICOTSCopy !req
101. AND WINTER FRUITS
AND NUTS.Copy !req
102. - Susie: OH, DELICIOUS.
- WINTER FRUITS.Copy !req
103. - A NICE TREAT,
A NICE TREAT.
- YUMMY.Copy !req
104. NOW TELL ME,
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
I CAN DO FOR YOU?Copy !req
105. YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU COULD WRAP THIS UP
FOR ME TO TAKE HOME.Copy !req
106. VERY GOOD.
YOU'RE GOING TO WARM THAT
UP FOR A NICE LUNCHEON?Copy !req
107. UH, NO, ACTUALLY.
IT'S FOR THE DOG.Copy !req
108. WE HAVE A POLICY
THAT WE DO NOT GIVE FOODCopy !req
109. THAT WAS
PREPARED FOR PEOPLE
TO ANIMALS.Copy !req
110. WELL, I'M GIVING THIS
TO THE DOG.
YOU'RE NOT.Copy !req
111. SO JUST WRAP IT UP.
I'LL GIVE IT
TO THE DOG.Copy !req
112. NO, THAT IS THE POLICY
OF THE RESTAURANT.Copy !req
113. ALL RIGHT, DAVIDAY,
FORGET I SAID IT.Copy !req
114. JUST WRAP IT UP.
I'M TAKING IT HOME.
OKAY?Copy !req
115. WE DO NOT GIVE
DOGGY BAGS TO DOGS.Copy !req
116. WHY DO YOU THINK
THEY CALL IT A GODDAMN
DOGGY BAG, HUH?Copy !req
117. IF YOU WANT
TO FEED AN ANIMAL,
WHY DON'T YOUCopy !req
118. GO TO PETCO
AND GET A BAG OF KIBBLE?Copy !req
119. WELL, I GIVE HIM KIBBLE
AND I LIKE TO SPICE IT UPCopy !req
120. - WITH A LITTLE STEAK
EVERY NOW AND THEN.
- I CAN BRING YOU CORN.Copy !req
121. - I DON'T WANT CORN.
THIS IS MY STEAK.
- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?Copy !req
122. - HEY HEY HEY.
- WHAT?Copy !req
123. YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GONNA TAKE THAT HOME.Copy !req
124. - Susie: OH, OKAY.
- DO YOU MIND?
DO YOU MIND?Copy !req
125. - YOU TAKE IT HOME.
- DAVIDAY, I'M GONNA
TAKE THIS HOME.Copy !req
126. - DO YOU HAVE AN ANIMAL?
- NO.Copy !req
127. - DOES HE HAVE AN ANIMAL?
- NO.Copy !req
128. SO YOU ARE GOING
TO EAT THAT?Copy !req
129. YES.Copy !req
130. - YOU PROMISE ME?
- YEAH.Copy !req
131. WE SHALL SEE.Copy !req
132. - Susie: A FUCKING NUTJOB.
- "WE SHALL SEE"?Copy !req
133. - Susie: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
- Larry: IT'S A LITTLE CRAZYCopy !req
134. THAT YOU CAN'T
GIVE A DOGGY BAG
TO A DOG.Copy !req
135. - Jeff: IT'S NONE
OF THEIR BUSINESS.
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.Copy !req
136. - ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING
TO THE BATHROOM.
- ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
137. YOU'RE EXCUSED.Copy !req
138. HEY, LARRY.
LONG TIME NO SEE.Copy !req
139. - HEY, CHA CHA.
- HEY.Copy !req
140. - HAVE YOU HAD
THE FRUIT PLATE HERE?
- NO.Copy !req
141. - IT'S EXCELLENT.
- REALLY?Copy !req
142. - YOU HAVE TO TRY IT.
TASTE THIS.
- NO, PLEASE.Copy !req
143. - IT'S THE RIPEST CANTALOUPE.
- I'VE HAD FRUIT.
FRUIT'S FRUIT PRETTY MUCH.Copy !req
144. WHAT DID YOU HAVE
FOR LUNCH?Copy !req
145. - I HAD SOME CHICKEN.
- CHICKEN?Copy !req
146. CHICKEN AND FRUIT GO TOGETHER.
YOU CAN HAVE THIS FOR DESSERT.Copy !req
147. - OKAY, I GOTTA—
- IT'S REALLY REALLY GOOD.Copy !req
148. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT.Copy !req
149. MM, THAT TIME AGAIN, HUH?Copy !req
150. - OH, COOL, YOU'RE HERE.
I OWE YOU.
- OH, HEY.Copy !req
151. GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.
I WAS JUST OVER
AT CHA CHA'S.Copy !req
152. OOH, GOD, IS SHE
BEAUTIFUL. WHEW.
JESUS.Copy !req
153. LISTEN, I HAD AN IDEA.
I WANT TO GO TO A MOVIE
TOMORROW NIGHTCopy !req
154. AND MAYBE—
IT'S BEEN A WHILE—
LET'S DOUBLE-DATE,Copy !req
155. CHA CHA AND ME
AND YOU AND CHERYL.Copy !req
156. WHAT DO YOU THINK?Copy !req
157. - UH...
- WHY THE HESITATION?Copy !req
158. I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT OUR PLANS ARE.Copy !req
159. I'LL LET YOU KNOW.
I'LL CALL YOU.Copy !req
160. WHAT'S WRONG?Copy !req
161. YOU KNOW, I GOT CHA CHA
THIS JOB AND ALL...Copy !req
162. YEAH, AND SHE
LOVES YOU FOR IT.
ME TOO, BY THE WAY.Copy !req
163. YEAH, WELL, IT'S NOT REALLY
WORKING OUT FOR ME,Copy !req
164. I GOTTA TELL YOU.Copy !req
165. WHY NOT?Copy !req
166. HER OFFICE IS RIGHT ACROSS
FROM THE BATHROOM.Copy !req
167. - YEAH, I KNOW.
- EVERY TIME I GO
TO THE BATHROOMCopy !req
168. I HAVE TO HAVE THIS—
STOP AND CHAT WITH HERCopy !req
169. BOTH BEFORE I GO
AND AFTER I GO.
IT'S TOO MUCH.Copy !req
170. SHE MEANS WELL.
BY THE WAY, SHE'S TOLD MECopy !req
171. THAT YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM,
LIKE, 10 TO 14 TIMES A DAY.Copy !req
172. YOU MOVE YOUR BOWELS,
YOU PISS...Copy !req
173. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
SHE WAS CONCERNED.Copy !req
174. OKAY, DO YOU SEE
WHAT I'M SAYING?Copy !req
175. THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
THIS IS NONE OF HER BUSINESS—Copy !req
176. HOW OFTEN I GO
TO THE BATHROOM,Copy !req
177. WHAT I'M DOING IN THERE,
HOW LONG I'M IN THERE.Copy !req
178. TALKING TO YOU
ABOUT MY PERSONAL
BATHROOM HABITS—Copy !req
179. THAT'S NOT GOOD, ALL RIGHT?
IT'S TOO MUCH.
IT'S TOO MUCH.Copy !req
180. SOMEONE'S GOT TO SIT THERE.
WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE
A KLANSMAN SITTING THERE?Copy !req
181. NO, I'D RATHER HAVE
A STRANGER, FRANKLY—
A STRANGER SITTING THERECopy !req
182. WHO I DON'T HAVE TO
REPORT INTO.Copy !req
183. - SHE CARES ABOUT YOU.
- OH, SHE CARES ABOUT ME?Copy !req
184. - YEAH.
- OKAY, LISTEN,
IT'S NONE OF HER BUSINESS.Copy !req
185. SHE HAS
BOWEL CONCERN FOR YOU
AND I DO TOO.Copy !req
186. I DON'T NEED
HER BOWEL CONCERN.Copy !req
187. - HOW MUCH WATER DO YOU DRINK?
- I DRINK A LOT OF WATER,
THAT'S ALL.Copy !req
188. - BIG DEAL.
- A LOT OF WATER? YOU DRINK
MORE THAN A PORPOISE.Copy !req
189. YEAH, USUALLY I HAVE
BOTTLES OF WATER.Copy !req
190. - I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.
- NO ONE PISSES THAT OFTENCopy !req
191. WITHOUT DRINKING, LIKE,
THOUSANDS OF GALLONS A WEEK.Copy !req
192. OKAY, ALL RIGHT, LET'S STOP
TALKING ABOUT THIS.Copy !req
193. MY BATHROOM HABITS ARE NOT
YOUR CONCERN, OKAY?Copy !req
194. ALL RIGHT, I WON'T CARE
ABOUT YOUR HEALTH. FINE.Copy !req
195. YOU DON'T NEED TO CARE ABOUT—
I'M IN VERY GOOD HEALTH.Copy !req
196. - YOU ARE?
- I GOT A BEAUTIFUL COLON.Copy !req
197. - YOU WANNA TAKE
A PICTURE OF MY COLON?
- I HAVE A VHS OF MINE.Copy !req
198. FINE.
YOU CAN PUT MY COLON UP
NEXT TO YOUR COLON.Copy !req
199. WE'LL SEE WHO'S GOT
A CLEANER, HEALTHIER COLON.Copy !req
200. I'LL HAVE A COLON CONTEST
WITH YOU ANY TIME YOU WANT.Copy !req
201. ANY TIME YOU WANT TO HAVE
A COLON CONTEST, BUDDY, YEAH.Copy !req
202. YOU'RE SHITTING AND PISSING
ALMOST 70 TIMES A WEEK.Copy !req
203. GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.Copy !req
204. SHE'S RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.Copy !req
205. I DON'T WANT HER
MONITORINGCopy !req
206. MY BATHROOM HABITS,
OKAY?Copy !req
207. WHAT ARE YOU EATING?
A LOT OF GRAINSCopy !req
208. AND FRUIT AND NUTS
LIKE A JEW SQUIRREL?Copy !req
209. - OKAY.
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?Copy !req
210. YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO THE BATHROOM AGAIN?Copy !req
211. NO, I'M NOT GOING
TO THE BATHROOM.Copy !req
212. - YOU ARE GOING
TO THE BATHROOM.
- NO.Copy !req
213. I BET YOU ARE
GOING TO THE BATHROOM.Copy !req
214. SO WHAT HAPPENED?Copy !req
215. I FLUSHED A TOILET
AND IT WAS, LIKE,Copy !req
216. THE LOUDEST FLUSH,
LIKE A SONIC BOOM
WENT OFF.Copy !req
217. - IT JUST WAS SO LOUD
THAT I WAS THROWN BACK.
- REALLY?Copy !req
218. I WAS TRAPPED
INSIDE THE STALLCopy !req
219. AND I'M TELLING YOU,
IT'S KILLING ME.Copy !req
220. OKAY, SO YOU'RE HAVING
SOME PAIN THERE.Copy !req
221. - RIGHT EAR, YEAH.
- RIGHT EAR, OKAY.Copy !req
222. LET ME JUST ASK YOU
A COUPLE OTHER QUESTIONS.Copy !req
223. RE YOU EXPERIENCING
ANY DIZZINESS?Copy !req
224. - NO.
- NO.Copy !req
225. - ANY SHORTNESS OF BREATH?
- NO.Copy !req
226. - ACHES AND PAINS
ANYWHERE ELSE?
- NO.Copy !req
227. ARE YOU GOING
TO THE BATHROOM A LOT?Copy !req
228. I DON'T SEE HOW THAT'S
RELEVANT, REALLY—Copy !req
229. AM I GOING
TO THE BATHROOM A LOT.Copy !req
230. ARE YOU URINATINGA LOT?Copy !req
231. WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO
WITH MY EAR?Copy !req
232. THIS IS A STANDARD
MEDICAL QUESTION.
IT'S ALL—Copy !req
233. I KNOW, BUT I REALLY
DON'T THINK IT'S RELEVANTCopy !req
234. HOW OFTEN I GO
TO THE BATHROOM.Copy !req
235. WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
I THINK I'M THE ONECopy !req
236. WHO SHOULD TELL YOU
IF IT'S RELEVANT OR NOT.
AND IT IS.Copy !req
237. WELL, LET'S JUST SAY—
LET'S JUST MOVE ON.
HOW ABOUT THAT?Copy !req
238. WHAT, YOU'RE
NOT GONNA TELL ME
ABOUT URINATION?Copy !req
239. I'D REALLY RATHER
NOT TALK ABOUT IT.Copy !req
240. I DON'T SEE HOW IT'S
ANYBODY'S BUSINESS,
FRANKLY, YOU KNOW.Copy !req
241. IT'S KIND OF PRIVATE
AND I REALLY DON'T THINK—Copy !req
242. - HOW IS IT PRIVATE?
- IT'S PRIVATE.Copy !req
243. HOW OFTEN
I GO TO THE BATHROOM IS
KIND OF A PRIVATE THING.Copy !req
244. YEAH, BUT I'M NOT SOME—
WE'RE NOT ON A BUS.
I'M A DOCTOR.Copy !req
245. WE'LL JUST HAVE
TO MAKE A DIAGNOSIS
WITHOUT THIS INFORMATION.Copy !req
246. I'M NORMAL.
LET'S JUST SAY THAT, OKAY?Copy !req
247. - WHAT DOES "NORMAL" MEAN?
- EVERYTHING'S NORMAL.
IT'S NORMAL.Copy !req
248. THREE TIMES A DAY,
FOUR TIMES A DAY?Copy !req
249. DO WE HAVE TO GET
INTO A SPECIFIC NUMBER?Copy !req
250. DO WE HAVE TO GET
A NUMBER ATTACHED TO IT?Copy !req
251. - YEAH, IT'S SCIENCE.
- HOWEVER OFTEN PEOPLE ARE
SUPPOSED TO GO, I GO,Copy !req
252. UNLESS I DRINK
A LOT OF WATER.
AND, YOU KNOW,Copy !req
253. SOMETIMES
I DRINK A LOT OF WATER
AND I'LL GO A LOT.Copy !req
254. IF YOU HAD AN OFFICE
NEXT TO THE BATHROOM
AND IT WAS ONE OF THOSE DAYSCopy !req
255. I WAS DRINKING A LOT OF WATER,
YOU'D SAY, "BOY, THIS GUY
GOES A LOT."Copy !req
256. BUT SO WHAT?
SO WHAT?Copy !req
257. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- I'M TALKING ABOUT,Copy !req
258. YOU KNOW,
URINATION FREQUENCYCopy !req
259. IF I HAPPEN TO BE
DRINKING A LOT OF WATER,Copy !req
260. WHICH I HAVE
BEEN DOING LATELY,
SO MAYBE LATELYCopy !req
261. I'VE BEEN GOING MORE OFTEN
THAN I NORMALLY WOULD.Copy !req
262. - GREAT.
- BUT IT'S GOOD FOR YOUCopy !req
263. TO DRINK WATER.
THAT'S A GOOD THING.Copy !req
264. - THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO HEAR.
- THAT'S A GOOD THING,
DRINKING WATER.Copy !req
265. YES, SURE SURE.
OKAY, LET'S MOVE ON.Copy !req
266. PLEASE.Copy !req
267. HOW'S YOUR STOOL?Copy !req
268. - PLEASE.
- STOOL'S FINE.
LET'S MOVE ON.Copy !req
269. - ALL RIGHT.
- YOU KNOW, AGAIN,Copy !req
270. I MEAN, IF I DO
DRINK A LOT OF WATER,Copy !req
271. I EAT A LOT OF SALAD TOO.
SO THAT'S GOOD.Copy !req
272. IT'S NORMAL, OKAY?
IS IT MORE THAN ONCE A DAY?Copy !req
273. MANY TIMES IT IS, YEAH.
MORE THAN TWICE A DAY?Copy !req
274. SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW.
WHO KNOWS?Copy !req
275. IF YOU HAD AN OFFICE
NEXT TO THE BATHROOM
AND I WAS GOINGCopy !req
276. AND YOU LOOKED AT YOUR WATCH
AND YOU SAW HOW LONG
I WAS IN THERE,Copy !req
277. YOU MIGHT SAY,
"OH, BOY, HE GOES A LOT."Copy !req
278. BUT SO WHAT?
THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S A GOOD THING.Copy !req
279. - ALL RIGHT, I APOLOGIZE FOR—
- LET'S JUST— CAN WE
GET TO THE EAR?Copy !req
280. SURE SURE. SO HERE'S—
IT'S PRETTY SIMPLE, REALLY.
I'M GONNA SUGGEST—Copy !req
281. I'M EXHAUSTED
FROM BEING HERE,Copy !req
282. YOU KNOW, HAVING TO TALK
ABOUT MY STOOL,Copy !req
283. HOW OFTEN I'M URINATING.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
MY EAR HURTS.Copy !req
284. OKAY, HERE'S WHAT I'M GONNACopy !req
285. YOU JUST BASICALLY
STAY OFF IT.Copy !req
286. USE YOUR LEFT EAR
TO TALK ON THE PHONECopy !req
287. IF YOU NEED TO
FOR SOME REASON FAVOR AN EAR,
FAVOR THE LEFT ONE.Copy !req
288. DON'T USE THE PHONE
FROM MY RIGHT EAR?Copy !req
289. YEAH. I MEAN,
YOU JUST WANT TO LIMITCopy !req
290. THE AMOUNT OF NOISE
THAT GOES INTO IT.Copy !req
291. YOU WANT ME
TO TALK LEFTY?Copy !req
292. YEAH, JUST TALK LEFTY.Copy !req
293. I HAVE A HARD TIME
TALKING LEFTY ON THE PHONE.Copy !req
294. EVERYTHING COMES OUT WRONG.
IT'S LIKE THROWING LEFTY.
I CAN'T DO IT.Copy !req
295. I'M NOT MYSELF.
I FEEL DIFFERENT, STRANGE,
LIKE I'M NOT ME.Copy !req
296. I'M NOT COMFORTABLE
TALKING LEFTY.Copy !req
297. ALL I CAN DO IS GIVE YOU
MY EXPERT OPINION, OKAY?Copy !req
298. SO THAT'S WHAT I'M SUGGESTING.
I'M SUGGESTING YOU STAY
OFF THE RIGHT EAR.Copy !req
299. OKAY, FINE.
I'LL TALK LEFTY.Copy !req
300. AND I ALSO THINK
IT WOULDN'T HURT YOUCopy !req
301. TO TALK TO YOUR THERAPIST
ABOUT YOUR BATHROOM ISSUES,Copy !req
302. 'CAUSE THERE'S CLEARLY
SOMETHING GOING ON THERE.Copy !req
303. OKAY?Copy !req
304. I THINK I'D LIKE TO SEE
SOMEBODY ELSE.Copy !req
305. ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S YOUR RIGHT. FINE.Copy !req
306. IS THERE SOMEBODY
IN THE OFFICE
I COULD SEE?Copy !req
307. NOW?Copy !req
308. NO NO, YOU HAVE TO
MAKE AN APPOINTMENT.Copy !req
309. THIS ISN'T MCDONALD'S, OKAY?Copy !req
310. OKAY, FINE.Copy !req
311. - OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY, THANK YOU.Copy !req
312. THANK YOU.Copy !req
313. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU
LOOKING AT, JEWBOY?Copy !req
314. FUCKING FAGGOT.Copy !req
315. THAT'S RIGHT,
KEEP WALKING.Copy !req
316. - HEY.
- COME ON,
LET'S DEAL WITH IT.Copy !req
317. - CAN WE TALK TO YOU?
- WHAT? WOW. HEY HEY.Copy !req
318. - I LIKE CHERYL.
SHE'S SWEET, BUT...
- YEAH.Copy !req
319. SHE'S NICE,
BUT THE TOILET PAPER...Copy !req
320. I'VE NEVER SEEN NO
TOILET PAPER LIKE THAT.Copy !req
321. HAVE YOU BEEN
TO PORT AUTHORITY BEFORE,Copy !req
322. - THE PORT AUTHORITY
IN NEW YORK CITY?
- YEAH.Copy !req
323. THAT'S WHAT
IT FEELS LIKE.Copy !req
324. - REAL CLOSE.
- I SAID THE SAME THING
THE OTHER DAY.Copy !req
325. - MM-HMM.
- DID YOU GET THAT FROM ME?Copy !req
326. - YEAH.
- Y'ALL GOT SOME FUNNY KIND
OF TOILET PAPER HERE.Copy !req
327. - WE CAN'T DEAL
WITH THIS TOILET PAPER.
- HEY, TELL ME ABOUT IT.Copy !req
328. - YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
IT'S ROUGH.
- IT'S ROUGH.Copy !req
329. WELL, YOU KNOW,
IT'S AN ENVIRONMENTAL THING.Copy !req
330. SHE'S DOING IT
FOR THE ENVIRONMENT.
WHAT CAN I DO?Copy !req
331. CAN YOU DO US A FAVOR?
CAN WE GET SOME SOFT
TOILET PAPER TO USE?Copy !req
332. - ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
- Auntie Rae: THE BABIES'
BEHINDS ARE HURTING.Copy !req
333. ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
334. HERE'S WHAT
I'M GONNA SUGGEST:Copy !req
335. - YOU WANT SOFT PAPER?
- OH, YES. NO DOUBT.Copy !req
336. - I'LL GET YOU YOUR
SOFT TOILET PAPER...
- OKAY, COOL.Copy !req
337. UNDER ONE CONDITION—Copy !req
338. I WANT ACCESS
TO THE TOILET.Copy !req
339. - YOU WANT
TO USE OUR BATHROOM?
- SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS,Copy !req
340. YOU WANT TO
COME IN OUR BATHROOM
AND USE OUR BATHROOM?Copy !req
341. YOU GOT IT.Copy !req
342. - I WANT SOME SOFT
TOILET PAPER.
- OKAY, FINE.Copy !req
343. - IT'S ALL ABOUT THE TISSUE.
- OKAY, YOU HAVE A DEAL.Copy !req
344. - AUNTIE RAE, ALL RIGHT.
- DEAL.Copy !req
345. - MY MAN.
- LEON. OH, HEY,
BY THE WAY,Copy !req
346. IF CHERYL FINDS OUT,Copy !req
347. YOU'RE ALL GOING DOWN
WITH ME.Copy !req
348. - WE GOT YOUR BACK.
- WE GOT YOUR BACK.Copy !req
349. - COOL.
- WHAT IT IS WHAT IT IS.Copy !req
350. LEON, COME HERE.
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.Copy !req
351. WHAT'S GOING DOWN, LARRY?Copy !req
352. LISTEN TO THIS,
ALL RIGHT?Copy !req
353. I'M IN A DOCTOR'S OFFICE
EARLIER,Copy !req
354. THERE'S A GUY SITTING THERE,
A SKINHEAD, OKAY?Copy !req
355. HE LOOKS AT ME
AND HE SAYS,Copy !req
356. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU
LOOKING AT, JEWBOY?"Copy !req
357. - WHAT?
- "FUCKING FAGGOT."Copy !req
358. WHAT?
OKAY, WHAT'D YOU DO?Copy !req
359. - WHAT'D I DO?
- YEAH, WHAT'D YOU DO?Copy !req
360. I SLUNK OUT.Copy !req
361. YOU SLUNK OUT?Copy !req
362. SLUNK.
I SLUNK OUT.Copy !req
363. SO YOU DIDN'T DO SHIT
AND YOU PUNKED OUT.Copy !req
364. THAT'S WHAT THE FUCK
HAPPENED, RIGHT?Copy !req
365. YEAH, I PUNKED OUT.
I PUNKED OUT.Copy !req
366. - HOW'D THAT HAPPEN?
- WELL, WHAT WAS I
GONNA DO?Copy !req
367. THE GUY COULD HAVE
KILLED ME.Copy !req
368. NEXT TIME A MAN CALLS YOU
A FUCKING FAGGOT,Copy !req
369. YOU GET IN THAT ASS, LARRY.
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?Copy !req
370. YOU GET IN THAT ASS, LARRY.
THAT'S WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO.Copy !req
371. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- YOU LET THAT MAN SLIDE TODAY.Copy !req
372. YOU GOTTA IMMEDIATELY
GET IN SOMEBODY'S ASS
WHEN THAT HAPPENS TO YOU.Copy !req
373. YOU PULL THEIR
ASSHOLE OPEN,Copy !req
374. STEP INTO THEIR ASSHOLE,
CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND YOU,Copy !req
375. - PICK UP YOUR SPRAY-PAINT
CAN, RIGHT?
- UH-HUH.Copy !req
376. "LARRY WAS HERE."
YOU SPRAY-PAINTCopy !req
377. "LARRY WAS HERE,"WASH ME,"
ALL THAT KIND OF SHIT,Copy !req
378. FUCK HIS WHOLE ASSHOLE UP,
EAT SOME SNICKERS BAR,Copy !req
379. THROW SOME PAPER ON THE FLOOR,
READ A NEWSPAPER,Copy !req
380. BALL THE PAPER UP,
THE NEWSPAPER, AND THROW
THE NEWSPAPER ON THE FLOOR,Copy !req
381. FUCK HIS WHOLE ASSHOLE UP,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?Copy !req
382. THEN YOU OPEN THAT ASSHOLE
ONE MORE TIME—Copy !req
383. OPEN IT AGAIN,
OPEN THAT ASSHOLE AGAIN-
UHH!Copy !req
384. STEP OUT OF HIS ASS
AND LEAVE THAT MOTHERFUCKER
WIDE OPEN,Copy !req
385. - SO HE KNOWS
YOU'VE BEEN THERE.
- OPEN IT UP,Copy !req
386. - STEP IN.
- STEP IN THEIR ASSHOLE.Copy !req
387. - SPRAY-PAINT "LARRY WAS HERE."
- "LARRY WAS HERE."Copy !req
388. - LEAVE GARBAGE, SNICKERS,
EAT SNICKERS, LEAVE GARBAGE.
- SPIT, FUCK IT.Copy !req
389. - GET OUT.
- MM!Copy !req
390. - OPEN IT UP AGAIN.
- STEP OUT THEIR ASSHOLE.Copy !req
391. - STEP OUT.
- DON'T EVEN CLOSE
THAT MOTHERFUCKER.Copy !req
392. LEAVE IT OPEN
SO HE KNOWS YOU'VE BEEN THERE.Copy !req
393. - YOU FEEL ME?
- I GOT YOU.Copy !req
394. THAT'S HOW
YOU HANDLE PEOPLE.Copy !req
395. MM!
GET IN THAT ASS, LARRY.Copy !req
396. - DON'T WORRY.
- ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
397. I HOPE YOU DON'T
GET ME KILLED.Copy !req
398. MY MAN.Copy !req
399. - HELLO?
- HEY, IS RICHARD THERE?Copy !req
400. UH, NO, HE'S NOT.
IS THIS LARRY?Copy !req
401. YEAH.Copy !req
402. - This is Cha Cha.
- AH.Copy !req
403. ( chuckles )
- CHA CHA.Copy !req
404. HI, LARRY.
YOU JUST CAUGHT ME
IN THE MIDDLE OF A WORKOUT.Copy !req
405. SO I'M CALLING
ABOUT THE MOVIES.Copy !req
406. Yeah, the movies, right.Copy !req
407. YOU KNOW,
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT—
WOULDN'T IT BE GREATCopy !req
408. if we could all go
to a really nice dinnerCopy !req
409. in one of those
fancy-schmancy joints?Copy !req
410. OKAY, I'LL TELL—
I'LL TELL CHERYL.Copy !req
411. GREAT.Copy !req
412. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?Copy !req
413. WHAT AM I WEARING
RIGHT NOW?Copy !req
414. YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU
WEARING?Copy !req
415. YOU'RE MAKING ME
UNCOMFORTABLE, LARRY.Copy !req
416. 1- ( moaning )
- I'M GONNA HANG UP
RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
417. 'M GONNA
HANG UP RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
418. - Goodbye.
- BYE.Copy !req
419. I AM LOVING THIS PLACE.
JEFF, HOW GREAT IS
THIS PLACE?Copy !req
420. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
I'M HAVING A GREAT TIME.Copy !req
421. IT'S LIKE MY OLD
BARBERSHOP IN BROOKLYN.Copy !req
422. YEAH, REMINDS ME
OF THE OLD DAYS, YOU KNOW.Copy !req
423. I LIKE THE WHOLE
SNIP-SNIP THING,
THE SOUND OF IT.Copy !req
424. I THINK I CAN DO IT TOO.
IT DOESN'T LOOK
THAT HARD.Copy !req
425. YOU KNOW,
IT'S LIKE THE BONGOS—
WHO CAN'T DO THAT?Copy !req
426. - ( laughs )
- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?Copy !req
427. - YEAH.
- ANYBODY CAN PLAY
THE BONGOS, COME ON.Copy !req
428. DO YOU HAVE TO
BE THAT SKILLED
TO BANG ON SOMETHING?Copy !req
429. - COME ON, HOW HARD IS THAT?
- I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.Copy !req
430. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU SAW BURT?Copy !req
431. OH, I JUST
HAD LUNCH WITH HIMCopy !req
432. THE OTHER DAY,
HIM AND BARBARA.Copy !req
433. YOU NOTICE ANYTHING
DIFFERENT ABOUT THEM?Copy !req
434. NO.Copy !req
435. 'CAUSE SHE JUST HAD
A MISCARRIAGE.Copy !req
436. - REALLY?
- YEAH.Copy !req
437. IT'S A SHAME.Copy !req
438. SHAME?Copy !req
439. THEY DO HAVE NINE KIDS.Copy !req
440. - THAT'S IT?
- YEP.Copy !req
441. WOW, THAT WAS
PRETTY FAST.Copy !req
442. YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN
ANYTHING OFF.Copy !req
443. HEY!
( screaming )Copy !req
444. I'M GOOD.Copy !req
445. WHERE THE HELL
HAVE YOU BEEN?Copy !req
446. I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU
ALL GODDAMN DAY.Copy !req
447. - WE WERE GETTING A HAIRCUT.
- THIS IS A BAG OF SHIT.Copy !req
448. OSCAR'S BEEN SHITTING.
I'VE BEEN CLEANING UP
SHIT ALL DAY.Copy !req
449. HE ATE THOSE LEFTOVERS
THAT THAT ASSHOLE GAVE US.Copy !req
450. - REALLY?
- "WE SHALL SEE."Copy !req
451. - "WE SHALL SEE." DAVIDAY.
- THAT LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT.Copy !req
452. - IS THAT POSSIBLE,
THAT THAT NUT DID THAT?
- YES YES.Copy !req
453. - HE PUT CRAP IN THERE.
HE PUT SOMETHING IN THERE.
- JESUS CHRIST.Copy !req
454. - Jeff: IS HE THROWING UP TOO?
- WHAT A PSYCHO.Copy !req
455. YOU GOTTA GO DOWN THERE
AND TELL THIS MOTHERFUCKERCopy !req
456. - YOU'RE GONNA KICK HIS ASS.
- OH, YEAH.Copy !req
457. NO, WAIT A SECOND.
HE CAN'T GO DOWN THERE.Copy !req
458. - WHY?
- BECAUSE I TOOK
THE FOOD HOME.Copy !req
459. - I PROMISED HIM
THAT I WOULD EAT IT.
- ALL RIGHT, YOU GO DOWN THERE.Copy !req
460. - YOU GO.Copy !req
461. YOU GO, LARRY.
YOU GO TELL HIMCopy !req
462. THAT YOU'VE BEEN SHITTING
ALL OVER YOURSELF ALL DAY,Copy !req
463. SHITTING IN YOUR PANTS,
YOU CAN'T MAKE IT
TO THE TOILET,Copy !req
464. YOU GOT SHIT
RUNNING DOWN YOUR LEG.Copy !req
465. WHY CAN'T I MAKE IT
TO THE TOILET?Copy !req
466. BECAUSE IT'S MORE DRAMATIC
THAT WAY.Copy !req
467. I DON'T WANNA TELL A GUY
I GOT SHIT RUNNING
DOWN MY LEG.Copy !req
468. ALL RIGHT, TELL HIM
WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT.
TELL HIM YOU'VE BEENCopy !req
469. - SICK SICK
SICK AS A DOG, OKAY?
- ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
470. I'M GONNA GO
TO THE RESTAURANT
RIGHT NOW,Copy !req
471. - SEE WHAT HE SAYS.
- GO!Copy !req
472. - YOU KNOW,
THESE WAITERS ARE NUTS.
- Jeff: HE'S NUTS.Copy !req
473. YOU CAN'T GET
ON A WAITER'S BAD SIDE.
THEY'LL DO ANYTHING.Copy !req
474. - Jeff: I NEVER
SAID ANYTHING BACK.
- YOU GOTTA BE SO NICE TO 'E.Copy !req
475. YOU GOTTA LEAVE
A GOOD TIP.Copy !req
476. - JEFF, THROW THIS OUT.
- YOU THROW IT OUT.Copy !req
477. YOU THROW IT OUT.
I'VE BEEN CLEANING—
- NO, YOU GOT GLOVES.Copy !req
478. - I'VE BEEN
CLEANING THIS SHIT.
- YOU GOT GLOVES!Copy !req
479. - THROW IT OUT.
- AW, FUCK.Copy !req
480. HELLO, DAVIDAY.Copy !req
481. HELLO, LARRY.
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.Copy !req
482. GOOD TO SEE YOU, DAVIDAY.Copy !req
483. YOU KNOW,
I ATE THE LEFTOVERSCopy !req
484. AND I JUST WANT YOU
TO KNOWCopy !req
485. I GOT SICK FROM THEM.Copy !req
486. NOW WHEN YOU SAY
THAT YOU GOT SICK,
DO YOU MEANCopy !req
487. THAT THE ANIMAL GOT SICK
OR THAT YOU GOT SICK?Copy !req
488. - NO NO, I GOT SICK.
- YOU GOT SICK?Copy !req
489. YES, AND I'M JUST
KIND OF WONDERINGCopy !req
490. IF THE FOODCopy !req
491. PERHAPS WAS
TAMPERED WITH.Copy !req
492. WELL, IT MOST CERTAINLY
WAS NOT TAMPERED WITH.Copy !req
493. - REALLY?
- ABSOLUTELY.Copy !req
494. ARE YOU SURE?Copy !req
495. I'M VERY SURE.Copy !req
496. - I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
- LARRY, HOW CAN YOU
ACCUSE ME OF THAT?Copy !req
497. BECAUSE I WAS SICK.
I WAS RUNNING TO
THE BATHROOM ALL DAY.Copy !req
498. - ALL DAY?
- ALL DAY.Copy !req
499. - OH, REALLY? I SEE.
- REALLY. YEAH.Copy !req
500. AHA.
CHA CHA?Copy !req
501. COME HERE
FOR A MOMENT, PLEASE.Copy !req
502. LARRY DOESN'T FEEL WELL.
HE SAID THAT HIS BOWELS
ARE IRREGULAR.Copy !req
503. HOW MANY TIMES HAS LARRY
GONE TO THE BATHROOM TODAY?Copy !req
504. TWICE SO FAR,Copy !req
505. TWO MINUTES
EACH TIME.Copy !req
506. THANK YOU.Copy !req
507. LARRY, THAT DOES NOT SOUND
LIKE A MAN WHO'S SICK AT ALL.Copy !req
508. - ( punches and grunts on TV )
- ( chattering )Copy !req
509. WHAT'S UP, L.D.?Copy !req
510. UM...Copy !req
511. I'M JUST GONNA
USE THE BATHROOM.Copy !req
512. - Leon: WHAT?
- Loretta: HMM?Copy !req
513. BATHROOM.
I'M GONNA USE
THE BATHROOM.Copy !req
514. WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THERE?Copy !req
515. THE TOILET WASN'T
WORKING PROPERLY.Copy !req
516. - SO YOU FIXED IT?
- I DID, ACTUALLY, YEAH.Copy !req
517. - OH, OKAY, GREAT.
- I HAD TO JUST
JIGGLE IT AROUND.Copy !req
518. OH, OKAY.
SO IT'S ALL—Copy !req
519. HEY, STAY HERE
FOR A SECOND.
NO NO, I JUST WANT TO SEECopy !req
520. YOUR HANDIWORK.
HOLD ON.Copy !req
521. HEY, DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
DON'T GO ANYWHERE.Copy !req
522. OH, WAIT A SECOND.Copy !req
523. LARRY?Copy !req
524. DO YOU KNOW
HOW MANY MILLIONS
OF VIRGIN TREESCopy !req
525. ARE CUT DOWN TO MAKE
THIS TOILET PAPER,Copy !req
526. WHICH IS CONTRIBUTING
TO GLOBAL WARMING,Copy !req
527. WHICH IS CAUSING HURRICANES,
WHICH IS WHY YOU'RE HERE?Copy !req
528. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT I'M TALKING
ABOUT, LARRY?Copy !req
529. - YEAH, THAT'S WHAT
I WAS TELLING THEM.
- THIS ISN'T THE KINDCopy !req
530. - OF TOILET PAPER
WE USE IN THIS HOUSE.
- NO, IT'S NOT.Copy !req
531. WE USE RECYCLED
POST-CONSUMER TOILET PAPER.Copy !req
532. - THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING-
- SO WHY DO WE HAVE TONS OF
TOILET PAPER IN THIS BATHROOM?Copy !req
533. AND WHY WERE YOU
IN THIS BATHROOM
USING THIS TOILET PAPER?Copy !req
534. AGAIN, THE TOILET
WAS BROKEN,Copy !req
535. BUT THEY ASKED ME—
THEY WERE VERY UNHAPPY—Copy !req
536. - WE ASKED YOU?
HOLD THERE, HOLD UP.
- ( all talking at once )Copy !req
537. YOU LIARS,
YOU WERE COMPLAINING
ABOUT THE TOILET PAPER.Copy !req
538. - HE WANTED ACCESS
TO OUR BATHROOM.
- AUNTIE RAE,Copy !req
539. DON'T BLAME THIS ON ME,
AUNTIE RAE.Copy !req
540. - ( doorbell rings )
- ( all continue overlapping)Copy !req
541. HEY, DAVID,
COME DOWN HERE, PERVO.Copy !req
542. COME DOWN HERE,
YOU FUCKING PERVO.Copy !req
543. WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
HOW DID YOU GET IN?Copy !req
544. THE FUCKING DOOR.
HOW ELSE DO YOU THINK
I GOT IN?Copy !req
545. THIS KID HAS GOT TO STOP
LEAVING THE DOOR OPEN, MAN.Copy !req
546. THIS IS IT.
IF I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
MY WHOLE LIFE,Copy !req
547. YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'D ATTACK YOU
RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
548. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- YOU CALLED MY GIRLFRIENDCopy !req
549. AND HIT ON HER
AND SHE DOESN'T RESPONDCopy !req
550. - AND YOU FUCKING GET HER FIRED,
YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.
- WHAT?Copy !req
551. FIRST OF ALL,
I NEVER HIT ON HER.Copy !req
552. - AND WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT, "FIRED"?
- BURT'S DAD AT THE BARBERSHOP.Copy !req
553. YOU MADE THAT FUCKING
MISCARRIAGE REMARK.
SO HE FIRED HERCopy !req
554. BECAUSE HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO
WITH ANYBODY THAT KNOWS YOU.Copy !req
555. OH, HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE
GETTING BACK AT ME?Copy !req
556. WHO ARE YOU TO TELL HIM
HOW MANY KIDS TO HAVE?Copy !req
557. SHE'S GOT NINE KIDS.
COME ON, THAT'S PLENTY.Copy !req
558. - SHE WANTS MORE CHILDREN.
- HOW MANY DOES SHE NEED?Copy !req
559. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU,
THE MESSIAH, TO COUNT?Copy !req
560. I GOT NEWS FOR YOU.
THAT'S ENOUGH.
BY THE WAY,Copy !req
561. IN CHINA
YOU'RE ALLOWED TWO.Copy !req
562. THOSE PEOPLE WOULD BE
KILLED IN CHINA.
- CHINA WHAT?Copy !req
563. TWO— TWO BABIES IN CHINA.Copy !req
564. WHAT HAPPENS
IF YOU HAVE THREE?Copy !req
565. - THEY EXECUTE YOU.
- THEY KILL THE BABY?Copy !req
566. NOT THE BABY, IDIOT.
THEY KILL THE PARENTS.Copy !req
567. GET OUT OF HERE.Copy !req
568. WELL, MAYBE THEY DON'T EXECUTE,
BUT THEY GIVE YOU A GOOD
DRESSING-DOWN.Copy !req
569. HOW DARE YOU LOSE
MY GIRLFRIEND'S JOB?Copy !req
570. SHE LOST
HER HEALTH INSURANCE,Copy !req
571. SHE HAS NO SELF-WORTH
ANYMORE.Copy !req
572. - SHE LOST HER SELF-WORTH?
OH, REALLY?
- THAT'S RIGHT.Copy !req
573. YOU GET ON THAT
GODDAMN TELEPHONE AND YOU
GET MY GIRLFRIEND'S JOB BACK.Copy !req
574. YOU CALL BURT
AND YOU APOLOGIZE.Copy !req
575. OKAY, I'LL MAKE THAT CALLCopy !req
576. I WANT TO BE ABLE
TO USE YOUR BATHROOMCopy !req
577. - ON THE WAY TO WORK
IN THE MORNING.
- SIT ON MY TOILET?Copy !req
578. - YEAH.
- THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY.Copy !req
579. - WHY?
- NOBODY SITS
ON RICHARD LEWIS'S TOILET.Copy !req
580. - YOU USE EVERY
TOILET IN THE HOUSE?
- THAT'S RIGHT. I ROTATE.Copy !req
581. - I CAN'T USE THE BASEMENT?
- NO, THAT'S FOR WEEKENDS.Copy !req
582. I HAVE NO PLACE
TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.Copy !req
583. I CAN'T GO HERE,
I CAN'T GO AT WORK.Copy !req
584. YOU JUST MAKE
THE GODDAMN CALL.
YOU OWE ME.Copy !req
585. - JESUS CHRIST.
- I'LL TRY.Copy !req
586. - THAT'S ALL I CAN DO.
- YEAH, FINE.Copy !req
587. JUST GET HER
HER JOB BACK.Copy !req
588. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I WANT A RIGHTY CALL.Copy !req
589. WHAT'S THIS
LEFTY BULLSHIT?Copy !req
590. I WANT A RIGHTY CALL.Copy !req
591. JESUS CHRIST.Copy !req
592. - Hello?
- OH, HEY, BARBARA?Copy !req
593. - Yes.
- HEY, IT'S LARRY DAVID.Copy !req
594. OH, HI, LARRY.Copy !req
595. - ( shouts ) FUCK YOU!
- ( screaming )Copy !req
596. THE WOMAN'S OUT OF HER MIND,
SCREAMING IN MY EAR
LIKE THAT.Copy !req
597. CAN YOU IMAGINE?
FUCK.Copy !req
598. THANKS FOR TAKING ME,
BY THE WAY.Copy !req
599. YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT, MAN.
IT'S A BIG FAVOR I'M
DOING YOUR ASS, MAN.Copy !req
600. THERE'S THE BUILDING.
PULL OVER.Copy !req
601. ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
602. OKAY, PARK THE CAR
AND COME UP, OKAY?Copy !req
603. HIS NAME'S
DR. SCHAEFFER.Copy !req
604. DR. SCHAEFFER.
ALL RIGHT.Copy !req
605. SO YOU'RE ALL SET,
ACTUALLY.Copy !req
606. WE'LL SEE YOU
NEXT WEDNESDAY.Copy !req
607. Leon's voice:
YOU GET IN THAT ASS.Copy !req
608. YOU GET IN HIS ASS
IMMEDIATELY.Copy !req
609. - GET IN THAT ASS, LARRY.
- HEY!Copy !req
610. COME ON,
YOU FUCKING SKINHEAD,Copy !req
611. YOU PIECE OF SHIT,
LET'S GO!Copy !req
612. HE IS NOT A SKINHEAD.
HE JUST CAME OUT
OF CHEMOTHERAPY.Copy !req
613. - SORRY.
- ASSHOLE.Copy !req
614. - Leon: HEY, SKINHEAD!
- STOP IT. I'M NOT A SKINHEA!Copy !req
615. - LEON! NO, LEON!
- ( continue yelling )Copy !req
616. LEON, NO!Copy !req
617. - Leon: MOTHERFUCKER!
STOP IT!Copy !req