Curb Your Enthusiasm 4x6

1. by HOME BOX OFFICE, INC.

2. BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY.

3. WE'RE SITTING HERE LIKE IDIOTS.

4. PLAYING GOLF.

5. YEAH, HOW DO YOU WORK A GLUE GUN?

6. OH, YEAH, LIKE I KNOW HOW TO WORK A GLUE GUN.

7. TO A PUBLIC COURSE?

8. IT'D BE A LONG WAIT.

9. WHEN DO YOU THINK I'M GONNA HEAR FROM THE NEW CLUB?

10. THURSDAY.

11. WENT VERY WELL.

12. WENT GREAT TOO.

13. YEAH. IT DID?

14. THE TALL BLOND GUY?

15. TWO GUYS.

16. YEAH, I THINK THEY, UH, REALLY TOOK A SHINE TO ME,

17. I GOTTA TELL YOU, YEAH, I REALLY DO.

18. OKAY.

19. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITHOUT GOLF.

20. WHEN I'M DONE WITH THIS PAPER, I'M GONNA WANDER THE STREETS.

21. WOW.

22. THE VIOLIN OUT?

23. GET THE VIOLIN OUT, IT'S SAD.

24. IT IS SAD, YEAH.

25. HERE'S ANOTHER THING,

26. I'D LOVE TO GET TO THIS DODGER GAME TOMORROW NIGHT.

27. EVERYBODY I KNOW.

28. YEP.YOU DID?

29. NOTHING? NOTHING.

30. EVERYBODY AT DODGER STADIUM, FROM TOP TO BOTTOM,

31. NOBODY'S GOT TICKETS.

32. IT'S GONNA BE SOME GAME.

33. I KNOW, I WANNA GO TOO.

34. IT'S TOO BAD WE GOT KICKED OUT OF THAT GOLF CLUB.

35. HIS FATHER JUST DIED, HE'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN GOING.

36. I'M SURE HE'S NOT GONNA GO,

37. HE HASN'T EVEN GONE BACK TO WORK YET.

38. SO, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO THOSE TICKETS?

39. THEY'RE GONNA GO TO WASTE.

40. IT IS WEIRD TO ASK A GUY, YOU KNOW, HIS FATHER JUST DIED,

41. CAN WE USE YOUR TICKETS?

42. TACKY TO DO THAT.

43. YEAH. YEAH.

44. HUH.

45. STILL, I MEAN...

46. IT DOESN'T HURT TO ASK, IT MIGHT BE A WAY TO...

47. WHAT DO YOU DO, JUST CALL HIM UP AND SAY, HEY?

48. MARTY, I KNOW YOU'RE STILL IN MOURNING.

49. RIGHT.

50. I'M SURE YOU'RE STILL IN...

51. MARTY, I KNOW YOU'RE STILL IN MOURNING, BUT IS THERE ANY...

52. I FEEL YOUR GRIEF, BUT ARE YOU GONNA USE THOSE TICKETS?

53. MARTY, JUST SO YOUR TICKETS DON'T GO TO WASTE.

54. THERE'S NO GOOD WAY TO GO ABOUT IT... NONE.

55. STILL.

56. HE HAS BRUNCH OVER AT NAT'S.

57. WELL, WE GOTTA GET SOME BREAKFAST ANYWAY, RIGHT?

58. WE JUST SAY HELLO, WE HAPPEN TO RUN INTO HIM...

59. LET'S GO GET SOME BREAKFAST MAYBE WE'LL RUN INTO HIM,

60. JUST SAY YOU KNOW,

61. WE'LL FEEL IT OUT, CHECK HIM OUT.

62. ZIP IN, ZIP OUT, SAY HELLO.

63. COMES UP, IT COMES UP, THAT'S ALL.

64. AH, SEE HIM? SEE HIM?

65. YEAH.

66. YEAH, IT'S TOUGHER THAN I THOUGHT, BUT HOPEFULLY...

67. HEY, HEY. LOOK AT THIS.

68. LOOK AT HERE, LOOK WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

69. DO ME A FAVOR,

70. AND WE'LL PLAY MAYBE.

71. BYE.

72. HEY.

73. HOW YOU DOING, MAN?

74. YOU GUYS.

75. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU COME IN HERE.

76. ALL THE TIME,

77. WITH MY DAD.

78. OH. YEAH.

79. I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU GUYS HERE BEFORE.

80. WE THOUGHT, UH, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT IT.

81. I'D TRY IT OUT.

82. WE WERE HUNGRY. YEAH.

83. IT'S GREAT FOOD.

84. YEAH, WHAT'S GOOD?

85. WELL, I ALWAYS ORDER THE TURKEY.

86. ACTION TODAY.

87. ACTION TODAY?

88. TURKEY TODAY.

89. I JUST CAN'T EAT TODAY.

90. I'VE LOST FIVE POUNDS IN TWO DAYS.

91. I HAVE NO APPETITE.

92. BY THE WAY, YOU KNOW, I'D JUST

93. FIVE WOOD INCIDENT AND...

94. IT'S FORGOTTEN.

95. 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, I HIT THE SHIT OUT OF THAT CLUB.

96. I KNOW YOU DO.

97. YOU KNOW THAT, YOU'VE SEEN ME HIT THAT CLUB.

98. LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT THE FIVE WOOD ANYMORE, OKAY?

99. OKAY, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT.

100. INTO BEVERLY PARK?

101. NOT YET.

102. WELL, WE INTERVIEWED.

103. WE'RE WAITING TO HEAR. WAITING TO HEAR.

104. GOOD LUCK.

105. GREAT COURSE, HAVE YOU PLAYED IT?

106. UH, NO, UH, I'M A JEW.

107. AH, FUNNY.

108. OH, HEY, WHO DO YOU LIKE IN THE DODGER GAME TOMORROW NIGHT?

109. OH, IT'S GONNA BE TOUGH, IT SHOULD BE A GREAT GAME.

110. YEAH.

111. SOLD OUT.

112. IT'S A SHAME ABOUT YOUR DAD AND ALL BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,

113. YOU PROBABLY, WELL, I GUESS,

114. TO A GAME, I GUESS, HUH?

115. NO, I DECIDED I'M GONNA GO.

116. NO KIDDING. GOOD FOR YOU.

117. WANTED ME TO GO.

118. THAT'S TRUE.

119. MM-HMM, HE WOULD HAVE, MOST CERTAINLY.

120. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, IF YOU'RE A LITTLE LONELY,

121. COMPANIONSHIP AT THE GAME,

122. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY,

123. I'D BE HAPPY TO DO IT.

124. I DON'T HAVE A SEAT FOR YOU.

125. YOUR DAD'S SEAT?

126. IT'S SPOKEN FOR.

127. OKAY, ALRIGHT.

128. OKAY, WELL, YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME.

129. YOU GUYS.

130. TURKEY, GONNA GET THE TURKEY.

131. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.

132. GOOD.

133. THOSE SEATS ANYWAY?

134. UH, THEY'RE THIRD BASE, FIELD LEVEL.

135. HMM.

136. GOOD.

137. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

138. OF ANYTHING...

139. HEAR OF ANYTHING?

140. WELL, SOMETIMES YOU HEAR THAT SOME SO AND SO'S

141. AN EXTRA TICKET. THE GAME'S TOMORROW.

142. OKAY.

143. WELL, IF THE PERSON WHO YOU'RE TAKING MIGHT DROP OUT,

144. YOU KNOW...

145. NO DROPPING OUT.

146. THE TIP, REMEMBER THE WEATHERMAN'S TIP?

147. HAS GOTTA BE UP ON THAT, NO?

148. YOU'RE STILL ASKING ABOUT THE GOLF TIP?

149. UH, FORGET IT.

150. DADDY-O!

151. HEY, HEY.

152. YOU, WEARING THAT OLD SEINFELD JACKET?

153. OH, THIS?

154. YEAH, YOU STILL WEARING THAT THING, EH?

155. I'M TRYING TO GET OUT OF JURY DUTY TODAY.

156. YOU KNOW, I'D DO IT,

157. BUT I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF REHEARSALS FOR THE PRODUCERS.

158. SO, THAT CAN HELP YOU GET OUT OF JURY DUTY?

159. YEAH, 'CAUSE THEY HATE PEOPLE IN THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.

160. THEY DON'T WANT THEM SERVING ON JURIES, SO, I THOUGHT,

161. YOU KNOW, WHAT THE HELL?

162. AND IF YOU'VE GOT A SEINFELD JACKET,

163. THEY'LL THROW YOU OUT OF THERE?

164. YEAH. ALRIGHT.

165. ALRIGHT.

166. HELLO, DARLING. HELLO, DARLING.

167. HELLO, LOOK WHO'S HERE, MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE.

168. FROM SOMEPLACE.

169. VERY FAMILIAR.

170. I'M GLAD I CAUGHT YOU.

171. YEAH.

172. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

173. GO DOWNTOWN.

174. OH, FOR JURY DUTY.

175. IT'S HARD TO GET OUT OF THESE THINGS.

176. I DON'T KNOW WHAT, I'M GONNA HAVE TO MAKE SOMETHING UP.

177. THE FOREMAN, BUT, YOU KNOW...

178. YEAH, I DON'T THINK YOU GET TO CHOOSE.

179. I CAN'T SERVE UNDER ANOTHER FOREMAN.

180. THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

181. NO, AND THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

182. I'M GONNA GO, I GUESS, I'LL GO TO JEFF'S HOUSE

183. AND WATCH THE GAME.

184. GO TO THE GAME?

185. I GOT YOU TICKETS.

186. WHAT ARE YOU, KIDDING ME?

187. GET THESE FROM?

188. YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT GONNA REVEAL MY SOURCES.

189. BUT JUST TRUST ME THEY'RE GOOD, I GOT YOU TWO TICKETS...

190. THAT'S PRETTY HIGH UP ON THE ALPHABET.

191. OKAY, THEN, YOU KNOW WHAT?

192. I'M JUST JOKING AROUND, COME ON.

193. GO WITH ME?

194. NO, NO.

195. GO, GO WITH JEFF, I KNOW YOU GUYS WERE WORKING ON TICKETS.

196. THAT IS SO NICE.

197. OH, OH.

198. THANK YOU, THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU.

199. OKAY, WELL, YOU GUYS HAVE FUN.

200. OKAY.

201. GIRL OVER THERE.

202. YEAH.

203. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, TV GUIDE CROSSWORD PUZZLE?

204. YEAH, TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I'M HAVING SO MUCH TROUBLE

205. WITH THE GLAUCOMA, THE PRESSURE ON THE EYES.

206. ALRIGHT, LOOK.

207. I'VE TOLD YOU 10 TIMES ALREADY.

208. LET ME GET YOU THE, YOU KNOW, SOME MARIJUANA.

209. NO, SON, COME ON, AGAIN WITH THE MARIJUANA.

210. STOP ALREADY?

211. SOME KIND OF BEATNIK?

212. I'M NOT GONNA WITH THE MARIJUANA.

213. WHAT BEATNIK? IT'S GOOD FOR GLAUCOMA.

214. IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

215. MEDICATION IS, WELL, IT'S NOT WORKING, BUT I THINK...

216. YOU TAKE A COUPLE OF PUFFS, YOU'LL FEEL BETTER, SO WHAT?

217. IS THAT BAD?

218. IN PAIN LIKE THAT?

219. ALRIGHT, WILL YOU STOP NUDGING ME ABOUT THAT, I...

220. JUST DO IT, IF I GET IT, WILL YOU DO IT?

221. GONNA GET THIS?

222. I HAVE NO IDEA.

223. ON THE STREET AND PICK UP...

224. I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GONNA GET IT,

225. BUT, I'M GONNA GET IT FOR YOU, OKAY?

226. IF YOU'LL DO IT WITH ME.

227. I'M NOT GONNA HAVE ANY, BUT YOU WILL.

228. ALRIGHT.

229. ALRIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

230. ALRIGHT, RIGHT.

231. MS. WHITAKER, HAVE YOU EVER SERVED ON A JURY BEFORE?

232. NO.

233. THE VICTIM OF A CRIME?

234. NO.

235. IN A FAIR AND IMPARTIAL MANNER?

236. NO.

237. OKAY, THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

238. ABSOLUTELY.

239. MOVING ON, YOUR HONOR.

240. YOUR NAME, SIR?

241. LARRY DAVID.

242. MR. DAVID, I'M COUNSELOR CONDON.

243. COUNSELOR CONDON, NICE TO MEET YOU.

244. UH, HAVE YOU EVER SERVED ON A JURY BEFORE?

245. NO.

246. OF A SERIOUS CRIME?

247. AN ALMOND JOY FROM ME,

248. THE TIME, BUT UH...

249. I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED A SERIOUS CRIME.

250. IN A FAIR AND IMPARTIAL MANNER?

251. I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD BE IMPARTIAL, MR. CONDON,

252. IS A NEGRO.

253. PROBLEM?

254. GOOD AFTERNOON, GOOD AFTERNOON.

255. UH, I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THE, UH...

256. BETWEEN YOU AND THE...

257. THE OTHER GENTLEMAN, UH...

258. YOU THINKING OF?

259. A LITTLE, UH, A LITTLE WEED GOING, YOU KNOW?

260. SOME WEED?

261. YEAH, I GOT IT, I GOT IT, YEAH, YOU KNOW.

262. FIRST OF ALL, YOU CAN CALM DOWN A LITTLE.

263. SURE.

264. JUST, YOU KNOW, RELAX, JUST...

265. YEAH, NO, I'M, I'M...

266. CREATE THE ILLUSION THAT WE'RE FRIENDS TALKING HERE, ALRIGHT?

267. YOU KIDDING ME?

268. YOU KNOW WHAT?

269. YOU'RE 100% RIGHT.

270. THAT'S TOO MUCH, ALRIGHT, THAT, YEAH...

271. OKAY, YOU'RE DOING FINE, ALRIGHT?

272. ALRIGHT. JUST CHILL OUT.

273. WELL, I CAN GET YOU AN OUNCE OF, LIKE, SOME REAL, YOU KNOW,

274. HYDROPONIC SCIENTIFIC STUFF, BUT THAT'LL RUN YOU $500 BUCKS.

275. HYDROPONIC?

276. YEAH.

277. I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A SOUND SYSTEM, MY FRIEND.

278. WHAT I MEAN?

279. A LITTLE, A LITTLE RELIEF.

280. LET'S PLAY IT SAFE, I'LL GIVE YOU AN OUNCE OF SCHWAG.

281. SCHWAG?

282. IT'LL COST YOU $200 BUCKS.

283. AN OUNCE OF SCHWAG, $200.

284. $200.

285. IS THAT A FAIR, FAIR PRICE YOU'RE QUOTING ME THERE, SIR?

286. LOOK, YOU CAN PAY ME $200 BUCKS OR GO FUCK YOURSELF.

287. OKAY, WELL...

288. LOOK, I DON'T NEED TO SELL THE DRUGS,

289. THE DRUGS'LL SELL THEMSELVES.

290. SURE. YOU KNOW, FORGET IT.

291. NO, JUST KEEP WALKING.

292. NO, LET'S DO SCHWAG, SCHWAG, $200 FOR THE SCHWAG,

293. NO, NO, NO, NO, SCHWAG, $200, OKAY, I GOT IT.

294. I GOT IT, SO, WHAT DO WE DO, WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

295. YOU GOT $200 ON YOU?

296. YES, YES.

297. ALRIGHT, TAKE OUT THE $200 BUCKS.

298. I'LL COUNT TO THREE, WHERE IS IT?

299. IT'S RIGHT HERE.

300. LET ME HOLD, LET ME PUT MY HAND ON IT.

301. YOUR MONEY, SIR.

302. ONE, I GOT, YOU'RE NOT LETTING ME PUT MY HAND...

303. YOUR HAND IS ON IT, YOUR HAND IS ON IT.

304. ALRIGHT. ONE, TWO, THREE.

305. ALRIGHT, NOW, KEEP WALKING.

306. OKAY, ANY PARTICULAR DIRECTION?

307. JUST, JUST, JUST PLEASE MOVE.

308. WHICH?

309. JUST WALK, JUST WALK, JUST WALK.

310. JESUS CHRIST.

311. GO THIS WAY.

312. JUST GO, JUST GO.

313. WHAT?

314. OH, JEFF, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THE GAME?

315. KIDDING?

316. OH, MY GOD.

317. NO, IT TOOK ME SO LONG IN COURT,

318. NOW I CAN'T EVEN ASK CHERYL TO GO.

319. AW, YOU SHOULD SEE THE TRAFFIC.

320. IS THE CARPOOL LANE.

321. I'LL NEVER MAKE IT, I'M JUST GONNA GO HOME.

322. I'M NOT GONNA USE THE CARPOOL LANE BY MYSELF.

323. 'CAUSE I, I DON'T WANT TO.

324. WELL, THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ME.

325. ALRIGHT, GOODBYE.

326. HEY, DADDY.

327. WITH MAMA?

328. GET IN THE CAR.

329. SO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

330. MONEENA.

331. WHAT YOU, WHAT YOU INTO TODAY?

332. LOLLIPOP LOVE?

333. FOR DIAMONDS?

334. SEE, ACTUALLY, I'M NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN ANY SEX PER SE.

335. PER SE, YOU ONE OF THOSE FREAKY MOTHERFUCKERS OR SOMETHING?

336. TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, WHAT I'D REALLY LIKE TO DO

337. AND, UH, I WANNA GO TO THE GAME AND I'LL PAY YOU FOR YOUR TIME,

338. IF, WHAT, FIVE HOURS, IT'LL BE.

339. TO SIT IN THE CAR?

340. JUST SIT IN THE CAR, THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO.

341. OH, YOU A CRAZY SONOFABITCH.

342. ALRIGHT, $1,000.

343. $1,000, WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

344. THAT'S FOR, UH...

345. EXACTLY. $200 AN HOUR?

346. BLOW JOBS AN HOUR.

347. AN HOUR?

348. OH, YES, I'M GOOD, OKAY?

349. HEY, I DROVE A CAB, I USED TO DRIVE AROUND FOR TWO HOURS,

350. I COULDN'T GET A FARE,

351. YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU'RE GETTING FOUR BLOW JOBS IN AN HOUR?

352. YES, HONEY, YOU DONE PICKED UP THE BEST.

353. HONEY, I GOT A RED SNAPPER THAT TALKS TO YOU.

354. IT'S SAYING?

355. I'M CHARGING WAY TOO MUCH.

356. $750 AND TAKE ME TO THE GAME.

357. I'M GOING TO THE GAME THEN.

358. I CAN'T TAKE YOU TO THE GAME, MONEENA.

359. I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, I ONLY HAVE ONE TICKET.

360. $750, DO YOU KNOW THIS IS NOT FAIR.

361. I KNOW, LISTEN, YOU'RE UNHAPPY, I'M UNHAPPY TOO.

362. THAT'S WHAT A GOOD COMPROMISE IS ALL ABOUT.

363. OF HENRY CLAY,

364. WITH HENRY CLAY?

365. NO, I DON'T KNOW NO HENRY CLAY.

366. WHAT'D HE SAY?

367. COMPROMISER.

368. COMPROMISE.

369. AND I THINK THAT'S WHAT WE HAVE HERE.

370. BOY, LOOK AT THIS.

371. ZIPPING ALONG HERE.

372. I'M GONNA MAKE THIS GAME.

373. THIS IS GREAT.

374. ONE MOTHERFUCKING TICKET.

375. THAT'S TWO TICKETS.

376. I'M MEETING A FRIEND THERE ACTUALLY.

377. NO, I'M GONNA GO TO THE GAME

378. TO THE CORNER OR I'M GONNA CALL MY MOTHERFUCKING PIMP.

379. HOW 'BOUT THAT?

380. YEAH!

381. YEAH, I DIDN'T THINK SO.

382. LET'S GO TO THE GAME.

383. AH, BASEBALL, OH, YOU KNOW,

384. I AIN'T NEVER BEEN TO NO BASEBALL GAME.

385. THIS GONNA BE CUTE, OH, YEAH.

386. ALRIGHT, WELL PUT, PUT— PULL YOUR THING UP OVER THERE.

387. PRESENTABLE.

388. HAVE TO FEED ME.

389. I WANT TWO HOT DOGS, A BAG OF PEANUTS AND A MILKSHAKE.

390. THEY GOT MILKSHAKES?

391. I, I, I DON'T KNOW IF THEY HAVE MILKSHAKES.

392. HEY, DON'T PUT

393. 'CAUSE YOU KNOW I'M A GET HUNGRY AGAIN.

394. AND THAT'S—

395. FOR A SECOND, WOULD YOU?

396. I KNOW THE SEATS AIN'T WAY THE FUCK UP HERE.

397. OH WHAT, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THE SEATS?

398. YOU SAID WE HAD GOOD SEATS, CLUB SEATS AND SHIT.

399. LOOK, WAY THE FUCK UP, SHIT.

400. HEY, THERE ARE

401. YOU COULD BE DOING, YOU KNOW?

402. WHATEVER.

403. ALRIGHT, LET'S JUST WATCH THE GAME.

404. LOOKING AT?

405. SITTING NEXT TO AN EMPTY SEAT.

406. SOMEBODY TO THE GAME.

407. SHIT.

408. OH I KNOW, I KNOW YOU AIN'T

409. OR SOME SHIT.

410. YOU AIN'T WITH ME?

411. NO, I'M NOT TRYING TO ACT LIKE I'M NOT WITH YOU.

412. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

413. OUT IN THIS THING.

414. A TITTY OUT...

415. DON'T, DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT...

416. I WILL, ACT LIKE YOU WITH ME THEN.

417. I'M WITH YOU, I'M WITH YOU.

418. I'M ACTING LIKE I'M WITH YOU.

419. THAT'S COOL, THAT'S BETTER RIGHT THERE.

420. NO, DON'T. I WILL... MMM!

421. THAT'S BETTER OKAY, ALRIGHT, YEAH.

422. ALRIGHT, YEAH.

423. SHIT!

424. WHO ARE THEY?

425. ME FOR THIS GOLF CLUB.

426. OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

427. OUT OF HERE.

428. I'LL BE BACK.

429. I'M NOT PLAYING WITH YOU.

430. COME BACK.

431. I'LL COME BACK DON'T WORRY.

432. IF I'M NOT BACK I'LL MEET YOU AT THE CAR AFTER THE GAME.

433. YOU LOOKING AT?

434. BALL ONE, ALRIGHT,

435. HEY, MARTY.

436. HEY, LARRY, I SEE YOU GOT A TICKET.

437. YEAH, THE SEATS REALLY STINK THOUGH.

438. I, I'M SITTING ALL THE WAY UP THERE.

439. OH, THERE'S A HIT.

440. OH, FOUL BALL.

441. HEY, WHAT A GREAT GAME, HUH?

442. SITTING THERE?

443. NO.

444. OH.

445. CAN I JOIN YOU?

446. NO.

447. WHY NOT?

448. WELL, UH, IT'S THE SEAT FOR MY FATHER.

449. YOUR FATHER'S DEAD.

450. IT'S A MEMORIAL.

451. TO GAMES TOGETHER.

452. FEEL CLOSE TO HIM.

453. IT'S TO HONOR HIM.

454. OH, NO!

455. COME ON, MARTY, LET ME SIT THERE.

456. I CAN'T LET YOU SIT THERE.

457. YOU KIDDING?

458. NO, I'M NOT KIDDING.

459. YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET ME SIT THERE?

460. FOR A MINUTE.

461. ARE YOU NUTS?

462. THANKS, MARTY.

463. THANKS.

464. OH, YOU BACK FAST.

465. I'D COME BACK.

466. YOU DID, YOU DID.

467. THERE YOU GO.

468. NOW, I BOUGHT US SOME POPCORN.

469. YOU'RE A SPORT.

470. MORE OFTEN, REALLY.

471. YOU BACK.

472. YEAH, YOU GONNA GIVE THIS SHIT.

473. NO, I...

474. IF YOU'RE EVER LOOKING

475. AT A REASONABLE RATE...

476. SHE'S YOUR GAL.

477. THAT WAS GOOD.

478. YOU GOT SOME... OH, YOU A PIMP.

479. LARRY, LARRY, COME HERE A MINUTE PLEASE.

480. ONE SECOND.

481. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS, BUT MY CAR WON'T START.

482. OH MY GOD.

483. WHAT A SHAME.

484. IT IS, LISTEN, I'VE GOTTA PICK UP SOMEONE AT THE AIRPORT.

485. IT'S ON THE WAY.

486. A LIFT, PLEASE?

487. WHY DON'T YOU ASK YOUR FATHER TO HELP YOU JUMP START THE CAR?

488. HEY, LEO, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HIM A PUSH?

489. I'M SORRY ABOUT THE BALLGAME, IT WAS EMOTION.

490. JUST GIVE ME A RIDE.

491. LET'S NOT GO THROUGH THIS PLEASE.

492. THERE'S ONE LITTLE PROBLEM.

493. I'M WITH A PROSTITUTE.

494. MY EYES ARE CLOSED.

495. I'LL SIT IN THE BACK, DO WHAT YOU WANT.

496. I DIDN'T PICK HER UP FOR SEX.

497. SO I COULD USE THE DIAMOND LANE,

498. ON TIME FOR THE GAME.

499. I BUY IT.

500. TO THE AIRPORT, PLEASE.

501. ALRIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

502. I'LL TAKE YOU.

503. OH, THAT'S SO GREAT.

504. THE WEATHERMAN'S GOLF TIP.

505. THAT'S THE ONLY THING I CAN'T DO.

506. OH, YOUR FRIEND'LL TAKE A CAB.

507. OKAY, OKAY, WAIT, DONE DEAL.

508. LET'S GO.

509. OKAY, TAKE YOUR NORMAL STANCE.

510. ALRIGHT.

511. OKAY?

512. FORGET EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER THOUGHT ABOUT GOLF.

513. FOR THE RIDE.

514. I GOTTA GO.

515. I'M COMING IN WITH YOU.

516. NICE MEETING YOU, MONEENA.

517. I'M GONNA USE THE BATHROOM.

518. WELL, HOW LONG YOU GONNA BE?

519. I'LL BE TWO MINUTES.

520. WELL, WHAT IF

521. TO MOVE THE CAR?

522. DRIVE AROUND, KEEP DRIVING AROUND AND AROUND.

523. YOU IN OVERTIME, THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT.

524. HEY, DO ME A FAVOR.

525. WHEN I USE THE BATHROOM.

526. WHY DON'T YOU BRING IT IN THERE?

527. PUT IT?

528. DON'T HAVE HOOKS?

529. IT'S NOT MY MARIJUANA!

530. HOLDING THE JACKET!

531. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

532. THIS ISN'T EVEN MY JACKET!

533. IT DOESN'T EVEN FIT ME!

534. OFF OF ME!

535. EASY!

536. AWAY FROM ME!

537. SO DAMN LONG?

538. FOR MARIJUANA.

539. YOU BULLSHITTING.

540. I'M NOT BULLSHITTING.

541. IN THE POCKET.

542. IN YOUR POCKET?

543. FOR HIS GLAUCOMA.

544. I FORGOT, I COMPLETELY FORGOT.

545. YOU DON'T NEED NO DAMN MARIJUANA.

546. SHIT IN TOWN.

547. SAID SOME SHIT.

548. CHRONIC.

549. PUT THAT DOWN, ARE YOU CRAZY?

550. THERE'S COPS ALL OVER THE PLACE HERE.

551. THAT'S SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE.

552. CHRONIC.

553. THIS IS SCHWAG.

554. IS SCHWAG?

555. SHWAG.

556. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU BOUGHT.

557. I KNOW WHAT I BOUGHT, I BOUGHT FUCKING SCHWAG, OKAY?

558. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK SCHWAG IS.

559. BOUGHT IT BEFORE, HUH?

560. SCHWAG?

561. YEAH.

562. THIS IS CHRONIC OKAY,

563. IT'S GONNA CLEAR YOU DADDY'S EYEBALL PROBLEM AND SHIT.

564. DADDY UP.

565. MOTHERFUCKING BILL.

566. THAT AIN'T FREE.

567. OKAY?

568. OKAY?

569. A LITTLE, LITTLE PROBLEM.

570. LITTLE PROBLEM.

571. I DON'T QUITE HAVE ENOUGH CASH TO PAY YOU TONIGHT.

572. BUT I'M, YOU KNOW, I'M TOTALLY GOOD.

573. I'LL PAY YOU TOMORROW.

574. I'LL COME TO YOUR HOUSE YEAH...

575. TOMORROW? THIS AIN'T MOTHERFUCKING PUSSY ON LAYAWAY.

576. TAKE YOUR LITTLE,

577. TO TRICK A BITCH ASS,

578. THE MOTHERFUCKING ATM MACHINE.

579. TALKING ABOUT?

580. I CAN'T 'CAUSE I USED, WENT TO THE ATM MACHINE THIS MORNING.

581. TOOK OUT $500.

582. THERE'S A LIMIT.

583. AROUND WITH YOU.

584. MONEY YOU OWE ME...

585. COUP DE LA.

586. THAT COUP DE LA SHIT.

587. COUP DE LA, COUP DE LA.

588. COUP DE LA.

589. ALL HIP AND SHIT.

590. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO WITH YOU, OKAY?

591. YEAH, WHAT YOU GONNA DO?

592. OKAY, HERE'S WHAT I'LL DO.

593. WE'LL GO TO MY FATHER'S HOUSE.

594. WE'LL GET SOME CASH, SETTLE, EVERYTHING CLEAN OKAY.

595. I'M NOT GOING TO YOUR DADDY'S HOUSE.

596. WHAT'S, WHY WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

597. 'CAUSE YOU BEEN DRAGGING ME

598. AND YOU AIN'T PAID ME NOTHING.

599. HEY, I TOOK YOU TO A BASEBALL GAME TONIGHT.

600. YEAH, AND WE DIDN'T HAVE NONE OF THAT GOOD SHIT.

601. SEATS WAY UP THERE AND YOU...

602. FUCKED UP SEATS?

603. LITTLE RAGGEDY ASS HOT DOG.

604. YEAH, YEAH, WHICH YOU PROCEEDED TO BLOW.

605. HEY.

606. YEAH, IT'S SO LATE AT NIGHT FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

607. WELL, I WAS AT THE GAME.

608. TO GO TO BED.

609. THE GAME?

610. NAH, WATCH THE GAME.

611. I'M JUST SO BLURRY I CAN'T WATCH.

612. UM...

613. I GOT THE STUFF.

614. THIS IS IT.

615. THAT, UH, THAT'S THE STUFF.

616. I GOT IT, OKAY.

617. YEAH.

618. THIS IS A JOINT.

619. IT'S A REEFER.

620. YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

621. YOU LIGHT IT UP.

622. YOU GO LIKE THIS, PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH...

623. YEAH, YOU GOTTA INHALE.

624. IN YOUR LUNGS.

625. HOLD IT INSIDE.

626. AND THEN...

627. I DID THAT FOR?

628. THAT'S A LONG TIME.

629. IT'S NOT LIKE A CIGARETTE WHERE YOU'RE LIKE THAT,

630. IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

631. OH, OKAY, SO, UM...

632. BOY OH BOY, I'M GETTING DIZZY JUST FROM DOING THAT.

633. YEAH, YEAH, SO...

634. ALRIGHT, SO YOU DO THAT A COUPLE OF TIMES.

635. AND SEE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

636. OKAY. OKAY?

637. AND I'LL LEAVE THIS HERE, LISTEN...

638. DO YOU HAVE ANY CASH? I NEED CASH.

639. YES, I GOT CASH ON ME, WHAT DO YOU NEED?

640. I NEED HUNDREDS. HUNDREDS.

641. NO, I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF CASH.

642. DO YOU HAVE?

643. I GOT AROUND 30, I GOT $40.

644. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, LET ME PUT THIS AWAY.

645. WAIT, OH MY GOD, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T ANSWER.

646. HELLO.

647. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

648. I'M COMING IN. NO, NO...

649. PUTTING ME IN,

650. WAITING IN THE CAR.

651. I, I GOT IT.

652. I DON'T WANT YOU COMING IN HERE...

653. I'M COMING IN THERE.

654. YOU TRIPPING, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.

655. LITTLE DADDY, YEAH.

656. UH, UH, THIS IS A FRIEND, IS A FRIEND OF MINE.

657. THIS IS MONEENA, SHE'S A... SHE'S A FRIEND.

658. THAT'S YOUR FRIEND...

659. WE WENT TO THE GAME TOGETHER, SHE'S A FRIEND OF CHERYL'S.

660. CHERYL COULDN'T MAKE IT SO I TOOK, I TOOK MONEENA.

661. WITH ANOTHER GIRL?

662. NO, IT'S CHERYL'S FRIEND.

663. CUTE.

664. LOOK, SWEETIE, WE BROUGHT YOU A LITTLE EYE MEDICINE.

665. THIS YOUR DAD?

666. HOOK YOU RIGHT UP.

667. GO THE LITTLE EYE PROBLEM.

668. WE GOT FOR YOU.

669. OH, THAT'S A JOINT.

670. YEAH, THIS IS A JOINT, VERY GOOD, DADDY.

671. CHRONIC.

672. I HAVE A JOINT.

673. THAT'S VERY GOOD, HONEY.

674. AND SMOKE IT?

675. SHE'S A LOT OF FUN, SHE'S A LOT OF FUN.

676. YOU TWO, YOU TWO GO SIT AND SMOKE...

677. NO, NO, NO, I WANT YOU TO DO IT TOO, YOU KNOW,

678. TO DO IT TOO...

679. YEAH!

680. AH, OKAY.

681. ALRIGHT, IT'S OKAY, COME ON, DADDY.

682. THAT'S RIGHT, THIS IS...

683. OH, GOOD, GOOD.

684. NO, NO MORE, NO MORE.

685. I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT THIS IS.

686. WHAT IS IT?

687. THAT'S GOOD SHIT.

688. YOU CRAZY.

689. TO SMOKE BAD SHIT.

690. WE'RE GONNA DO SOME EBONICS.

691. EBONICS?

692. LET'S SAY THIS.

693. IS THE SHIZNIK.

694. THE SHIZMIK.

695. THE SHIZMIK. THE SHIZMIK.

696. BASHIZZLE MY NIZZLE.

697. BASHIZZLE MY, THAT SOUNDS ALMOST YIDDISH TO ME.

698. YIDDISH EBONICS.

699. YEAH, YEAH, YOU HOLDING ON TOO LONG.

700. LOOK AT THAT.

701. HE BLEW THE SCENE.

702. GAY COCKIM AFENYA.

703. GAY COCKIM AFENYA.

704. HE'S A MESHUGGENAH?

705. MESHUGGENAH.

706. MESHUGGENAH?

707. WHAT'S THAT EBONICS TOO?

708. LOOKING AT?

709. YOU SEE SOMETHING, HUH?

710. WHAT DID I DO?

711. WHAT DID YOU DO?

712. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, YOU DID NOTHING!

713. SOMETHING JUST TELL ME.

714. CHANGE THE DIET.

715. ABOUT THAT.

716. I DON'T WANT THE RED MEAT.

717. YOU'RE EATING THE RED MEAT.

718. I DON'T LIKE THAT.

719. I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN.

720. GO TO A DOCTOR.

721. GET YOURSELF A CHECKUP, A COLONOSCOPY.

722. TO GET A COLONOSCOPY?

723. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

724. I'M SORRY.

725. EVERYBODY DOES IT, GET A COLONOSCOPY!

726. I, I, I'M REALLY GONNA DO IT.

727. SOMETHING?

728. YOU'RE A GOOD HUMAN BEING.

729. OH, THANK YOU.

730. AND YOU, YOU KNOW, I LOVE HIM TOO.

731. HE IS MY BOY.

732. FUCKING FAGGOT.

733. YOU GOT YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW'S BIRTHDAY COMING UP.

734. GET A CARD.

735. OKAY.

736. YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET A CARD.

737. YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO A FUCKING THING!

738. I'LL TRY AND DO BETTER, I, I WILL.

739. TV, TV, TV, THAT'S ALL YOU LIKE TO DO!

740. READ A FUCKING BOOK!

741. OKAY, YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU KNOW EVERYTHING.

742. YOU'RE TALKING TO?

743. TO HER?

744. OH, MAKING A PHONE CALL.

745. SHE'S A VERY NICE GIRL.

746. OH, YEAH.

747. YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

748. THIS STUFF, I CAN SEE,

749. I SWEAR TO YOU, I'M NOT LYING TO YOU.

750. REALLY?

751. YOU'RE COMING THROUGH SO CRYSTAL CLEAR.

752. YOU'RE KIDDING, REALLY?

753. IT, IT'S, IT'S A MIRACLE.

754. IT'S A MIRACLE.

755. THAT'S FANTASTIC.

756. ALRIGHT, YOU READY TO GO?

757. OH, MY GOD,

758. IT'S A HOOKER.

759. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO, LARRY, IS GET UP THERE AND TELL THE TRUTH.

760. OKAY.

761. THAT'S IT, OKAY.

762. IT WASN'T YOUR JACKET.

763. NO, JUST KEEP ME OUT OF THIS COMPLETELY.

764. IT WAS LARRY'S JACKET, IT WAS LARRY'S GRASS.

765. HE'S ON TRIAL, I'M NOT.

766. RIGHT, IT WAS YOUR POT FOR YOUR FATHER'S GLAUCOMA.

767. YOU KNOW, YOU COULD BE A LITTLE MORE GRATEFUL.

768. GET YOU OFF THE HOOK HERE.

769. THANKS A MILLION.

770. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THERE WAS GRASS IN THE JACKET?

771. I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS GRASS IN THE JACKET.

772. YOU DIDN'T? NO.

773. YOU BOUGHT IT. I FORGOT.

774. GUYS, I JUST NEED YOU TO BE EARNEST, ALRIGHT?

775. A CREDIBLE WITNESS.

776. BY THE WAY?

777. I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR JACKET IS.

778. WELL, YOU WERE THE LAST ONE TO WEAR IT.

779. ABOUT YOUR JACKET?

780. I'M SURE YOU CAN GET ANOTHER ONE.

781. ALRIGHT, SWEETIE, YOU KNOW I KNOW THE WAY OUT.

782. HOLY SHIT.

783. OH, MR. BASEBALL, MR. OWE MONEENA $200.

784. AND IT WAS SEVEN, HONEY.

785. OWE ME $200.

786. 200 SCHRILLA.

787. OKAY.

788. PRESENT, LARRY?

789. NO, NO, SEE, I WAS GOING TO THE BALLGAME...

790. I WANT MY MONEY, BABY, I NEED MY SCHRILLA.

791. YOU GOT, YOU GOT ANY CASH?

792. MAYBE 20.

793. YOU GOT ANY CASH?

794. I GOT NOTHING.

795. JUDGE GEORGE NAGEL.

796. IS THAT THE JUDGE?

797. YEAH, THAT'S HIM.

798. OH, NO.

799. WELL, MR. DAVID.

800. TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

801. WELL, YOU SEE, YOUR HONOR, MY FATHER HAS THIS CONDITION.

803. Captioned by