Curb Your Enthusiasm 4x3

1. Captions made possible by HOME BOX OFFICE, INC.

2. YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD GET ONE OF THESE CORDLESS VACUUMS!

3. HEY, MIKEY BOY!

4. WHAT?

5. WHAT...

6. I'M TALKING.

7. YEAH?

8. SORRY, I WAS JUST LISTENING TO MUSIC.

9. YOU KNOW WHAT,

10. A NEW GIRLFRIEND, ALRIGHT?

11. 'CAUSE THIS ISN'T GONNA LAST THAT MUCH LONGER.

12. YEAH, WELL, WHOSE FAULT IS IT THAT I DON'T HAVE

13. A GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE, LARRY?

14. HEY, I DID YOU A FAVOR,

15. IT'S HARD TO EVEN FIX YOU UP, YOU'RE SO PARTICULAR.

16. AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN, YES.

17. WHAT GUY WOULDN'T?

18. TO BE GOOD-LOOKING...

19. BUT SHE'S GOING OUT WITH A BLIND MAN.

20. SO?

21. HAND AND FOOT.

22. SO?

23. WHAT'S ON THE INSIDE OF A FELLA.

24. OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, YOU'VE GOT NOTHING INSIDE OF YOU, OKAY?

25. MAKE THAT CLEAR.

26. I'VE EVER MET,

27. BLIND OR SIGHTED, OKAY?

28. IT'S JUST NOT THAT FAIR

29. SEE HER AND I DON'T.

30. SO YOU'RE SAYING IT'S NOT FAIR THAT

31. SHE LOOKS LIKE EXCEPT YOU.

32. RIGHT, IT'S NOT FAIR.

33. DID YOU GET THE CORNERS?

34. ALRIGHT, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO?

35. I'M GONNA KEEP MY EYES AND EARS OPEN.

36. MAYBE THERE'S SOMEBODY I CAN FIX YOU UP WITH.

37. I AM MAX BIALYSTOCK,

38. IN THE WINTER.

39. YOU'VE ALL HEARD OF THEATER-IN-THE-ROUND.

40. YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE MAN WHO INVENTED THEATER— AGGH!

41. AGGH!

42. AGGH!

43. THERE HE IS.

44. HONEY, RIGHT HERE, HE'S RIGHT HERE.

45. I STILL CAN'T SEE OUT OF THIS SIDE.

46. HEY. HI, LARRY. HEY!

47. HI CHRISTINE, HEY.

48. YOU OKAY?

49. YEAH, THANKS FOR COMING TO GET ME.

50. YEAH, COME ON IN.

51. LOOK, I GOT SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE.

52. THAT SUCKS.

53. YOU KNOW THOSE SIGNS, IT'S TRUE.

54. AWFUL.

55. HANG ON A SECOND.

56. YOU GOT IT?

57. NO.

58. WAIT, JUST STOP, STOP.

59. NO, NO, NO, STOP, DON'T DO ANYTHING.

60. I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING.

61. YOU GOT TO, JUST STOP.

62. OKAY, NOW.

63. OKAY.

64. OH, MAN.

65. YOU OKAY?

66. YEAH, MY CAR, THE GATE CAME, CRASHED RIGHT DOWN ON IT.

67. WE'RE JUST TAKING

68. AND THEN WE'LL GO TO REHEARSAL, OKAY?

69. OH, OKAY, YOGURT.

70. HMM?

71. IS THAT A PREFIX, YOU THINK, "YO" ?

72. YO-GA, YO-GURT.

73. THINK THAT'S RELATED, 'GURT, 'GA.

74. THEY'RE BOTH HEALTHY THINGS.

75. YOGURT, YOGA.

76. I DON'T THINK SO.

77. HEY, I THOUGHT OF SOME MORE YOS'.

78. YODEL, HAVE YOU EVER YODELED?

79. BYE, HONEY.

80. YO-DE-YO-DE-LE-DE-HOO.

81. LARRY, GREAT SEEING YOU.

82. BYE, CHRISTINE.

83. BYE, GUYS.

84. HOW ABOUT, WHAT'S HIS NAME, FROM THE MOVIE, UH—

85. SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU, WHY DON'T YOU COME UP FRONT?

86. AH, I'M OKAY.

87. COME ON UP FRONT.

88. I'M GOOD.

89. ARE YOU SERIOUS?

90. YEAH, WHY, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

91. LARRY, I'M NOT GONNA DRIVE YOU AROUND LIKE I'M YOUR CHAUFFEUR.

92. FRONT SEAT, ALRIGHT?

93. YOU'RE NOT DRIVING ME AROUND LIKE I'M A CHAUFFEUR.

94. WE'RE TWO MINUTES FROM THE REHEARSAL HALL.

95. AROUND LIKE THIS?

96. MENTALITY IS WHAT'S...

97. SO THEY DON'T THINK THAT THEY'RE DRIVING SOMEBODY AROUND?

98. NO, THE KIND OF PERSON THAT'S SO INSECURE THAT NEEDS

99. IN THE BACKSEAT,

100. SUBLIMINALLY, THAT YOU NEED ME TO DRIVE YOU AROUND?

101. WHY DO I HAVE TO LEAVE MY SEAT, GO INTO THE FRONT SEAT?

102. AND IT'S MY CAR AND IF IT'S MY CAR, I MAKE THE RULES, OKAY?

103. OH, YOU'RE MAKING THE RULES?

104. BEEN THERE ALREADY.

105. YES, VERY GOOD.

106. OH, YOU CAN'T DRIVE WITH SOMEBODY IN THE BACKSEAT.

107. YOU'RE SUCH A BABY.

108. YOU'RE A GROWN MAN BABY.

109. I'M A MAN-CHILD?

110. I'M SAYING YOU'RE A LITTLE BABY.

111. YOU KNOW WHAT, LITTLE BABY WANTS A RIDE?

112. WE'LL GIVE LITTLE BABY A RIDE, OKAY?

113. YOU KNOW WHAT, LITTLE BABY'S WANTS TO WALK.

114. NO, NO!

115. MR. DAVID, WHERE TO NOW?

116. WHERE TO NOW, MR. DAVID?

117. SORRY IF I DIDN'T READ THE RULES GETTING INTO THE CAR.

118. HERE WE GO, DRIVING MR. LARRY.

119. HEY, TAKE IT EASY, MAN.

120. YOU'RE THE BABY, LARRY.

121. OH, I'M THE WHAT? I'M THE BABY?

122. 'CAUSE I WANT TO TAKE A POLL, THAT MAKES ME A BABY.

123. NO, YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU A BABY?

124. WHAT?

125. THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A BIG STUPID BABY.

126. OH, I'M A STUPID.

127. YOU'RE WALKING AROUND WITH.

128. ON YOUR BACK.

129. IT'S MY KNAPSACK.

130. GOOD, HMM, MORNING.

131. HEY, BY THE WAY...

132. HEY, BY THE WAY...

133. THE GRAPE NUTS THIS MORNING.

134. YOU KNOW WHAT, HE'S A GUEST IN OUR HOUSE, WE SHOULD JUST...

135. HOW MUCH LONGER, BY THE WAY?

136. I DON'T KNOW, THREE OR FOUR DAYS.

137. I DON'T KNOW, WE'LL SEE, WE'LL SEE.

138. ALRIGHT.

139. HEY, IF IT'S OKAY WITH YOU, I'M TAKING YOUR CAR TODAY.

140. WITH MEL BROOKS.

141. OH, OKAY.

142. WHAT I'M THINKING?

143. MAYBE WHILE YOU'RE OUT, YOU COULD GET IT WASHED.

144. IT LOOKS PRETTY CLEAN, BY THE WAY.

145. DO YOU MIND?

146. BUT IT'S TOTALLY CLEAN.

147. GOOD MORNING.

148. MORNING, I GOT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

149. A CARD TRICK.

150. OH, A CARD TRICK, OKAY.

151. OKAY, YOU SEE THIS DECK?

152. YEAH.

153. ONE DECK.

154. WHEN TO STOP.

155. STOP.

156. NOW THIS, MM, DO DO, DO DOOP, IS YOUR CARD.

157. OKAY.

158. I'D LIKE YOU TO SHUFFLE THIS, PLEASE.

159. ALRIGHT.

160. AND ANY WAY POSSIBLE.

161. OKAY, FINE, IT'S ALL SHUFFLED.

162. OKAY, AND...

163. THIS IS YOUR CARD.

164. WOW!

165. YEAH.

166. HOW'D YOU DO THAT?

167. I'M SORRY, I CAN'T TELL YOU.

168. SORRY.

169. COME ON, STEWART, HOW'D YOU DO THE TRICK?

170. NO, MAGICIANS DON'T TELL PEOPLE HOW THEY DO THEIR TRICKS.

171. YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE NOT REALLY A MAGICIAN.

172. OH, YEAH, I AM.

173. WHAT, 'CAUSE YOU DO ONE TRICK, THAT MAKES YOU A MAGICIAN?

174. DIDN'T I TRICK YOU?

175. YOU KNEW HOW TO DO THAT TRICK?

176. MMM, NOT REALLY.

177. WELL, THAT'S, WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DO THE TRICK?

178. A MAGICIAN.

179. OKAY, SO YOU WEREN'T A MAGICIAN.

180. HOW TO DO THE TRICK.

181. MM-HMM.

182. RIGHT? YEAH.

183. OKAY, SO I'M NOT A MAGICIAN.

184. NOW YOU'RE A MAGICIAN, SO YOU TEACH ME HOW TO DO IT.

185. I CAN'T, JUST 'CAUSE YOU SAID, I AM A MAGICIAN.

186. I CAN'T TEACH YOU.

187. YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT TRICK

188. TAUGHT IT TO YOU, RIGHT?

189. YEAH.

190. SO WHY DID THE MAGICIAN TELL YOU?

191. I'M A MAGICIAN.

192. WELL, YOU CAN TELL THAT I'M A MAGICIAN.

193. BUT I'M A MAGICIAN, JUST NATURALLY A MAGICIAN.

194. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

195. I'M SAYING, I'M NATURALLY A MAGICIAN.

196. BUT YOU DON'T KNOW ANY TRICKS.

197. AND YOU'RE JUST NOT.

198. I MEAN, SEE, BECAUSE I'M A MAGICIAN,

199. NATURALLY A MAGICIAN,

200. I'D FEEL THAT YOU WERE NATURALLY A MAGICIAN.

201. TELL ME THIS TRICK?

202. NO.

203. MAGICIANS DON'T REVEAL THEIR SECRETS.

204. FINE, I GOT TO GO.

205. A LOT ALIKE.

206. YEAH, EXCEPT HE'S NOT A MAGICIAN.

207. HEY, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

208. HUH?

209. HALLOWEEN PARTY?

210. OF COURSE.

211. YOU ARE?

212. YEAH, WE'RE TAKING YOU.

213. WEAR A COSTUME?

214. OF COURSE I'M WEARING A COSTUME. IT'S A HALLOWEEN PARTY.

215. I'M NOT GONNA WEAR A COSTUME.

216. OH, I ALMOST DIDN'T TELL YOU.

217. SO, LAST NIGHT, AT ABOUT 11:30,

218. TO, UH, YOU KNOW.

219. OH, REALLY?

220. YEAH.

221. FOR THAT AT 11:30 AT NIGHT?

222. THE ENERGY, YEAH.

223. CAN OF HURRAH.

224. CAN OF HURRAH.

225. SO I'M THINKING ABOUT, JENNA JAMESON, YOU KNOW?

226. WHO'S SHE?

227. A PORN STAR, WAY HOT.

228. AND, UM, ALL OF A SUDDEN, SHE POPS OUT.

229. YOU KNOW WHO POPS IN, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

230. CHERYL.

231. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

232. MY WIFE?

233. CHERYL, YEAH.

234. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU USED...

235. YEAH, SHE WAS THERE I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

236. BOOM, SHE WAS THERE, YOU CAN'T CONTROL WHO POPS IN.

237. SHE POPS IN.

238. SHE POPS IN?

239. WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU POP HER OUT?

240. I TRIED POPPING HER OUT, SHE WOULDN'T POP OUT.

241. WHAT, SHE INSISTED ON STAYING?

242. NOT EXACTLY.

243. WITH YOU, JEFF?

244. I COULDN'T POP HER OUT, I'M NOT IN CONTROL OF IT.

245. BESIDES, MY BENCH IS KIND OF THIN.

246. I DON'T REALLY HAVE A LOT GOING ON THERE.

247. OH, YOUR BENCH IS THIN?

248. WHAT, IS SHE ON YOUR TEAM NOW?

249. NO, SHE'S NOT ON MY TEAM, SHE POPPED IN.

250. USING MY WIFE FOR?

251. YOU'D BE FLATTERED.

252. FLATTERED? I'M FUCKING NAUSEOUS.

253. WHAT, NAUSEOUS, WHY'D YOU BE NAUSEOUS?

254. IT'S... UGH.

255. YOU, MY WIFE, I JUST DON'T LIKE THE WHOLE IDEA.

256. IT DIDN'T REALLY HAPPEN.

257. I KNOW, BUT IT FEELS, BUT YOU USED, IN YOUR MIND.

258. OKAY.

259. ALRIGHT.

260. DO ME A FAVOR, OKAY?

261. WHAT?

262. I DON'T WANT YOU USING MY WIFE ANYMORE FOR THAT, OKAY?

263. I'LL NEVER INTENTIONALLY USE YOUR WIFE FOR THAT.

264. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "INTENTIONALLY" ?

265. YOU CAN'T CONTROL WHO POPS IN.

266. YEAH, OKAY.

267. NEXT TIME SHE POPS IN,

268. AND GET OUT OF THE ROOM.

269. HELLO.

270. HOW YOU DOING?

271. VERY WELL, THANK YOU.

272. GOOD, HOW'S THE ADOPTION COMING, GOOD?

273. UH, YES.

274. IT'S GOING VERY WELL, THANK YOU.

275. GREAT, GREAT, GREAT.

276. WAIT TILL YOU GET THE KID, IT'S GONNA CHANGE YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

277. "GET THE KID" ?

278. IN JUST A SECOND,

279. YOU CAN GO ON BACK.

280. OKAY.

281. HOW YOU DOING?

282. YOU'RE CARRYING ON LIKE IT'S A FUNERAL.

283. BUT THAT'S WHAT IT IS, TO ME.

284. IT'S A DECISION.

285. HEY.

286. HEY.

287. LARRY, JEFF, COME IN, COME IN.

288. CLOSE THE DOOR, PLEASE.

289. ANY COMPLAINTS?

290. I MEAN, HOW'S IT GOING FOR YOU?

291. I'VE GOT ONE TINY THING, JUST ONE SMALL ISSUE.

292. I'M NOT HAPPY WITH THE TOILET PAPER IN THE REHEARSAL HALL.

293. YOU'RE GONNA GET THE SOFTEST,

294. MOST BEAUTIFUL TOILET PAPER, YOU'LL BE SO HAPPY

295. YOU'LL BE HANGING AROUND THE TOILET EVERYDAY.

296. YOU'LL GET ME THE SOFTER ROLLS?

297. YOU GOT IT!

298. ALRIGHT.

299. MEL, CAN WE GET TO WHY YOU ASKED LARRY TO COME HERE?

300. OH, YEAH, WE HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM.

301. YEAH, RIGHT.

302. IS GONE.

303. HE IS HISTORY, HE HAS LEFT US.

304. HE CAME TO ME AND SAID, IT'S EITHER ME OR LARRY DAVID.

305. MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

306. WELL, YOU KNOW, I WENT RIGHT LARRY DAVID, STILLER OUT.

307. HE COMPLAINED ABOUT SOME THINGS, I DON'T KNOW, MINOR STUFF.

308. YOU'RE KIDDING.

309. NO, WE'RE NOT KIDDING, BEN STILLER QUIT.

310. YOU WOULDN'T SIT IN THE FRONT OF A CAR.

311. YOU COULDN'T MOVE INTO THE FRONT OF THE CAR?

312. I MEAN, I HAVE TO MOVE UP TO,

313. FROM WHERE WE WERE GOING.

314. FROM WHERE THEY WERE GOING.

315. AT BEN STILLER'S BIRTHDAY PARTY, YOU DIDN'T BRING A PRESENT.

316. HE SAID, NO GIFTS.

317. THEY ALWAYS SAY NO GIFT, BUT EVERYBODY BRINGS A GIFT.

318. SO, YOU'RE AT THE SHOW, YOU WON'T SHAKE HIS HAND.

319. ABOUT SHAKING PEOPLE'S HANDS WHO HAVE SNOT ON IT, THAT'S ALL.

320. IT'S A SMALL THING, IT'S A TEENY LITTLE PHOBIA.

321. AND AT THE BIRTHDAY PARTY, EVERYBODY SANG HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

322. I DON'T LIKE THE HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG.

323. I DON'T SING THE HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG.

324. THE HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG.

325. I DON'T LIKE IT EITHER, I HATE THE HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG.

326. IT'S A TRITE, CLICHé SONG.

327. I HATE IT.

328. WITH THE SHISH KABOB?

329. OKAY, YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?

330. THAT'S PAINFUL.

331. HE'S STROKING, SHOWING A STROKE...

332. OH, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

333. THE KID'S EYE.

334. BY THE WAY, CAN I SAY SOMETHING?

335. PLEASE.

336. MEL?

337. IN DISGUISE.

338. OKAY, HE'S A WONDERFUL ACTOR, HE'S A FANTASTIC ACTOR.

339. I DON'T THINK HE BELONGS IN MUSICAL COMEDY, FRANKLY.

340. IT'S GONNA WORK OUT, IT'S GONNA BE FINE.

341. WORK OUT BEAUTIFULLY.

342. ALRIGHT.

343. SO, UH, SO YOU'LL WORK ON THE TOILET PAPER THING?

344. DONE, DONE.

345. PINK, PINK, BLUE, SOFT, ANYTHING YOU WANT.

346. YOU GOT IT, I LOVE IT.

347. BLUE, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT BLUE.

348. LISTEN, YOU KNOW, DON'T WORRY ABOUT BEN STILLER.

349. IN MY MIND, I'VE GOT A COUPLE OF WONDERFUL PEOPLE AND,

350. YOU KNOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF, UH,

351. DAVID SCHWIMMER?

352. SURE, YEAH THE GUY FROM FRIENDS?

353. YEAH.

354. NOW THINK ABOUT THAT GUY, THINK ABOUT THAT.

355. HE CAN MOVE WELL, SINGS WELL.

356. AND WE'D SAVE A LITTLE MONEY ON THE MARQUEE.

357. LARRY DAVID SCHWIMMER, GET IT?

358. OKAY, BAD JOKE.

359. I THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, I LIKE THAT.

360. BYE, FELLAS, THANK YOU.

361. GOOD TO SEE YOU.

362. BYE BYE.

363. GOD BLESS, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

364. MEL, YOU'RE MAKING A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.

365. I'M TELLING YOU, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS GUY.

366. HE'S MENTALLY CHALLENGED.

367. THAT IS THRILLING!

368. CAR WASH.

369. COME ON.

370. WE GOT ONE.

371. GOOD, GOOD, ALRIGHT.

372. 10 DOLLARS.

373. 10 DOLLARS.

374. OKAY.

375. WE'RE FOR THE LANGELY CENTER IT'S A CHARITY

376. AND IT'S WHERE WE ALL BELONG.

377. OKAY.

378. 10 DOLLARS.

379. HERE YOU GO. 10 DOLLARS.

380. EVERYBODY'S SEEING I'M PUTTING IT IN MY POCKET, OKAY.

381. NOTHING'S COMING OFF THIS.

382. YOUR FOOT'S WET AND YOU'RE ON...

383. OH, SORRY.

384. YOU'RE ON THE SEAT.

385. COULD YOU CLOSE THE DOOR 'CAUSE YOU'RE SPRAYING IT OVER INSIDE.

386. CLEAN IN HERE.

387. AH, IT'S DUSTY.

388. YOU'RE MAKING A MESS.

389. YOU'RE MAKING IT A BIGGER MESS THAN IT WAS.

390. IT'S OKAY NOW.

391. NO, IT AIN'T LOOKING LIKE IT'S SUPPOSED TO.

392. I GUESS I'LL GET GOING NOW.

393. NO, NO, JUST GIVE ME, LIKE, ONE MORE MINUTE, OKAY?

394. FUCK!

395. WELL, GUESS WHAT, I'M OUT OF GAS.

396. IN THE CAR.

397. AROUND LIKE THAT?

398. I DON'T KNOW.

399. AND I'M NOWHERE NEAR A GAS STATION.

400. I GOT TO PEE SO BAD.

401. YOU KNOW WHAT?

402. WHERE'S MY SUNBLOCK?

403. I'LL BET YOU THOSE GUYS TOOK MY SUNBLOCK.

404. I WAS AT A GAS STATION,

405. YEAH, 'CAUSE I GOT YOUR CAR WASHED.

406. YOU KNOW WHAT, I CAN'T EVEN TALK.

407. SO BAD, I'M DYING.

408. ALRIGHT, GOODBYE.

409. HI, SIR.

410. I'M SO SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.

411. SOUND A LITTLE CRAZY,

412. BUT MY CAR RAN OUT OF GAS AND I NEED TO USE A BATHROOM.

413. NO!

414. WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE, I CAN JUST GET IN FOR TWO MINUTES?

415. A STRANGER IN MY HOUSE?

416. WELL, I'M NOT, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT REALLY A STRANGER.

417. I DID THE SEINFELD SHOW ON, I'VE DONE...

418. HELLO, HOW ARE YOU?

419. YOU KNOW, I WAS DRIVING BY AND I COULDN'T HELP, BUT—

420. I BEG YOU—

421. I'D LIKE TO MAKE AN OFFER ON YOUR HOUSE.

422. 10 BUCKS FOR A PEE.

423. OH MY GOD.

424. MAY I HELP YOU?

425. MY CAR IS OUT OF GAS

426. AND I'M JUST DESPERATE TO USE A BATHROOM.

427. COME IN, PLEASE COME IN.

428. BE MY INVITED GUEST, COME IN.

429. YOU'RE KIDDING?

430. PLEASE COME IN, PLEASED DO COME IN.

431. WHOA!

432. WOO!

433. REFRESHED?

434. OF YOU TO DO THAT.

435. SAY SOMETHING?

436. IF YOU'RE EVER

437. A TOILET, I'M YOUR GUY.

438. OH, OKAY, I WILL REMEMBER THIS.

439. ALRIGHT.

440. I CAN DO FOR YOU?

441. TO IMPOSE AGAIN.

442. NO, NO, NO.

443. AN ENORMOUS FAVOR.

444. ANOTHER ONE, ACTUALLY?

445. I AM VERY CURIOUS, PLEASE.

446. REALLY?

447. FOR MY CAR.

448. TO A STATION...

449. GAS.

450. GASOLINE.

451. IN THE BACK.

452. I'M JOKING!

453. TO TAKE YOU TO GET GAS.

454. THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE.

455. WITH NO GAS.

456. ALL THE TIME.

457. OH, YOU ARE MARRIED.

458. YES.

459. THAT'S A DISAPPOINTMENT.

460. I THOUGHT MAYBE I'D FINALLY MET SOMEONE.

461. WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE A MAN IN YOUR LIFE?

462. I DON'T.

463. YEAH, WE'RE A VERY SUPERFICIAL PEOPLE.

464. WOMEN LOOK LIKE SO...

465. IT'S GONNA BE TOUGH FOR YOU WHEN THE...

466. HMM.

467. WHAT, WHAT IS IT?

468. A GUY FOR YOU.

469. A BLIND DATE?

470. LITERALLY.

471. ALRIGHT, LOOK, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

472. YOU'LL TAKE ME, WE'LL GO GET SOME GAS, OKAY?

473. OF COURSE.

474. ALRIGHT, AND I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT.

475. I CANNOT WAIT.

476. HEY, HABOOS.

477. YEAH?

478. YOU HUNGRY?

479. YEAH.

480. I'VE WORKED UP A LITTLE APPETITE.

481. A LITTLE LUNCH?

482. WHY NOT?

483. EVER HAD DELICATESSEN?

484. BUT IT'S REALLY TOO MUCH.

485. OH LARRY, THAT'S FUNNY.

486. YOU LIKE THAT?

487. YEAH.

488. IS BEAUTIFUL.

489. HEY, IT'S THE GUYS FROM THE CAR WASH.

490. HEY GUYS.

491. HELLO.

492. HELLO. HELLO.

493. REMEMBER ME?

494. YEAH, THE GUY WITH THE REALLY CLEAN CAR.

495. YEAH.

496. THE BLUE CAR.

497. A GOOD JOB ON THAT CAR,

498. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

499. NO PROBLEM, WE HAD FUN CLEANING IT.

500. HOW DID YOU DO TODAY?

501. PRETTY GOOD.

502. YEAH?

503. WE DID GOOD TODAY.

504. DID YOU MAKE?

505. WE MADE $100, WE HAD 10 CARS.

506. WOW, PRETTY GOOD, CONGRATULATIONS.

507. GOOD, GOOD.

508. HEY, YOU GUYS, LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.

509. ANY, UH, SUNBLOCK

510. SEAT IN MY CAR?

511. I DON'T KNOW.

512. I DIDN'T SEE ANY.

513. SUNBLOCK AT ALL.

514. IS THAT RIGHT?

515. NO, HUH, DIDN'T SEE ANY?

516. I DIDN'T SEE NOTHING.

517. NO?

518. I'LL TELL YOU WHY

519. WHEN I DROVE IN AND...

520. NO THERE WASN'T.

521. WAS MISSING.

522. I DIDN'T, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

523. I GOT WHO KNOWS, WHO KNOWS?

524. ABOUT SUNBLOCK.

525. OKAY, I WAS JUST...

526. HAVE SOME FOOD WITH US?

527. IT'S REALLY GOOD.

528. SURE, OKAY.

529. MY FRIEND HABOOS.

530. OH, HELLO.

531. I'M LARRY.

532. I'M STANLEY.

533. NOW WEREN'T THERE, UM, WEREN'T THERE FOUR OF YOU?

534. UH, NO, NOT RECENTLY.

535. NO, AT THE CAR WASH THERE WERE FOUR OF YOU.

536. NO, OH YOU MEAN THE GUY THAT WAS HOLDING THE CARD.

537. THERE WAS FOUR.

538. YEAH, BUT IT, NO.

539. YEAH, HE MUST HAVE GONE HOME.

540. GONE HOME?

541. WELL, YOU DON'T KNOW IF HE WENT HOME OR NOT?

542. UM, I JUST...

543. I DON'T KNOW WHY.

544. HUH, ALRIGHT.

545. HAPPENED TO THE SUNBLOCK.

546. WE LIED!

547. YEAH, WE LIED!

548. GOOD TUNA SALAD.

549. IT'S GOOD?

550. HABOOS, HUH?

551. I'M GONNA GET THIS DRY CLEANED FOR YOU.

552. I CAN'T DO THAT, LARRY.

553. I'M GONNA GET IT DRY CLEANED FOR YOU.

554. NO, I DON'T MIND.

555. HABOOS?

556. I INSIST.

557. I'M GONNA DRY CLEAN IT FOR YOU.

558. OKAY, LARRY, OKAY.

559. UH, I'M SO SORRY.

560. HEY, I GOT A GOOD JOKE.

561. AN ARAB, A JEW AND AN ASIAN FELLOW,

562. A BAR, OKAY?

563. I DIDN'T TELL THE JOKE YET.

564. WAIT 'TIL I TELL THE JOKE.

565. I'M GETTING A CORNED BEEF ON RYE.

566. SO WHAT'S HER NAME?

567. HABOOS.

568. HELLO, HABOOS.

569. I MEAN, IT'S QUITE AMAZING WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

570. SHE LOOKS LIKE, OKAY?

571. NOBODY.

572. IT'S GREAT.

573. EVERYBODY'S IN THE SAME BOAT AS YOU.

574. FIELD FOR ME, LARRY.

575. WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE.

576. EVERYBODY'S BLIND NOW.

577. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS.

578. WHAT AN IDEA, THAT'S JUST GREAT.

579. THANK YOU.

580. FELL IN MY LAP.

581. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

582. WE DO THIS?

583. IT JUST GOES TO SHOW, IF YOU GOTTA PEE SOMEPLACE, KNOCK ON A DOOR.

584. WHAT COULD HAPPEN.

585. I'M INTRIGUED, LET'S DO IT.

586. BY THE WAY, YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO GO WITH YOU,

587. CHAPERON THING.

588. WHAT?

589. I'M SORRY, THEY REQUIRE A CHAPERON.

590. A CHAPERON.

591. ALRIGHT, GOOD, SO I'M GONNA CALL HER.

592. YOU KNOW, THERE'S NO DOWNSIDE HERE.

593. REALLY, THERE'S NONE, IT'S PERFECT.

594. IT'S PERFECT, CALL HER UP.

595. SHE'S QUITE A MUSLIM.

596. TELL ME WHEN TO STOP.

597. STOP.

598. WHY DO YOU DO IT FAST?

599. WELL, ACTUALLY YOU WERE TOO FAST.

600. OH, I WAS TOO FAST?

601. YEAH.

602. MAYBE I'M JUST NOT STOPPING WHERE YOU WANT ME TO STOP.

603. NO.

604. YEAH.

605. NO, REALLY, NO.

606. I THINK SO.

607. A LITTLE SOMETHING HERE.

608. YOU'RE STOPPING ON THE CARD, YOU KNOW WHERE THE CARD IS,

609. AND THAT'S, WHEN I SAY STOP, THAT'S THE TRICK, RIGHT?

610. IS THAT THE TRICK?

611. NO, IT'S NOT, THIS IS YOUR CARD.

612. OKAY.

613. YOU LISTEN TO ME, SUPERMAN.

614. I WANT THAT TRICK.

615. NO CAN DO.

616. I APOLOGIZE, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T DO ANYTHING.

617. YOU'RE NOT A MAGICIAN.

618. YOU'RE NOT A MAGICIAN EITHER, STEWART.

619. YEAH, I AM.

620. NO, YOU'RE NOT.

621. MM-HMM.

622. 'CAUSE YOU KNOW ONE TRICK, THAT MAKES YOU A MAGICIAN?

623. THAT'S NOT A MAGICIAN, ONE TRICK'S NOT A MAGICIAN.

624. YEAH, IT IS.

625. TRICK-OR-TREATING TONIGHT?

626. MM-HMM.

627. I'M TAKING HALF THAT CANDY.

628. DON'T SAY A WORD TO HER.

629. YOU PUT IT IN THE PANTRY, I'LL DIVIDE IT UP, UNDERSTAND?

630. OKAY.

631. OKAY?

632. YEAH.

633. NOW LISTEN.

634. TO WATCH THE BALL GAME, SO BE NICE TO THEM.

635. CAPISCE?

636. CAPISCE.

637. LARRY?

638. COMING, HONEY.

639. OR PLEATHER, OR ...

640. VINYL, AND IT'S HOT AS HELL.

641. I'M SWEATING LIKE A PIG.

642. WELL, YOU LOOK GOOD.

643. LOOK AT THIS.

644. LAR, HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

645. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

646. OH MY GOD.

647. HUH?

648. DOESN'T SHE LOOK GREAT?

649. IS THIS GREAT?

650. OH, LOOK AT ANDY DIVINE OVER HERE.

651. YES I AM, SHERIFF.

652. NOW YOU LOOK HOT.

653. THANK YOU, SUSIE.

654. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

655. WHAT IS THIS, NO OUTFIT, NO COSTUME?

656. NO.

657. OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

658. WHAT?

659. YOUR COSTUME.

660. WHAT?

661. I DON'T LIKE THAT COSTUME.

662. WHY?

663. I HAVE MY REASONS, YOU GOT ANOTHER COSTUME?

664. LARRY, THAT COSTUME IS GORGEOUS, YOU'RE WRONG.

665. THANK YOU, I SPENT AN HOUR GETTING READY FOR THIS.

666. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO WEAR.

667. NOT SO, EXCUSE ME.

668. I'VE GOT JUST THE THING.

669. YOU HAVE THE FIGURE FOR THAT, AND NOBODY ELSE...

670. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM.

671. FOR THAT, ALSO.

672. OH, IN YOUR DREAMS.

673. HABOOS'S BURKA.

674. THE DRY CLEANERS.

675. YOU'RE GOING AS AN ISLAMIC FUNDAMENTALIST.

676. IT'S HOT IN THIS THING.

677. WHAT THE FUCK?

678. HEY, OSAMA, GO BACK TO YOUR OWN FUCKING COUNTRY.

679. OKAY, YOU READY?

680. YEAH, I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS, BUT LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT.

681. I'M A LITTLE CONCERNED ABOUT THE WEATHER.

682. I GOT AN UMBRELLA, IT'S ALRIGHT.

683. OKAY.

684. OKAY.

685. JUST BE CASUAL.

686. HELLO.

687. HABOOS, HELLO.

688. LARRY.

689. HI.

690. MICHAEL?

691. MICHAEL.

692. I AM INDEED.

693. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

694. LOOK AT THIS MAN, HE'S LIKE YOUR BROTHER.

695. HE'S A BALD BROTHER.

696. I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

697. I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.

698. PRAISED YOU TO THE SKIES.

699. I'VE BEEN RAVING.

700. OH, WELL I HAVE SO FEW DATES,

701. WITH TWO HANDSOME MEN.

702. LOOK, I GOT YOUR DRY CLEANING.

703. OH, LARRY, YOU REMEMBERED, OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

704. FIXED YOUR CLOAK.

705. OUT OF THE CLOAK.

706. OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH, LARRY, THANK YOU.

707. AND YOUR HOOD AND, UH, THE WHOLE...

708. SHE TALKS.

709. IT'S KIND OF A SEXY THING.

710. DID I TELL YOU, DID I TELL YOU?

711. THIS IS WONDERFUL.

712. SO WHAT SHALL WE DO, WHAT SHALL WE DO?

713. OH, JEEZ, UM, WHATEVER YOU LIKE, HABOOS?

714. SOMETHING, UH, ROMANTIC, UH...

715. OH, YOU GOT THE DRIZZLES.

716. IT'S DRIZZLING, I DON'T KNOW.

717. YEAH, I THINK IT'S ABOUT TO COME DOWN.

718. I DON'T MIND, I DON'T MIND.

719. YOU DON'T MIND, YOU GOT A HOOD ON, WHAT DO YOU CARE?

720. YOU KNOW WHAT, I GOT AN UMBRELLA.

721. IF YOU WANNA TAKE A WALK, WE CAN TAKE A WALK, THAT'S FINE.

722. IT'S LIKE DAREDEVIL, YOU'RE LIKE DAREDEVIL.

723. OH, CAN YOU GET THIS THING...

724. OH!

725. MY VEIL.

726. UGH!

727. OOH.

728. NOT SO HOT, HUH?

729. NO, NOT SO HOT.

730. WELL...

731. THANKS FOR TRYING.

732. YEAH.

733. THE DECK.

734. THANK YOU, AND...

735. BE YOUR CARD.

736. YEAH, YOU PEEKED.

737. YOU COULD PEEK AT IT.

738. FROM BEHIND.

739. HOW'D YOU KNOW?

740. FIGURE THAT OUT.

741. UH, WHERE'S LARRY?

742. I DON'T KNOW.

743. AND THE GAME'S ABOUT TO START.

744. WELL, HE'S PROBABLY IN THE BATHROOM.

745. LARRY DAVID?

746. WHY DON'T YOU CLOSE THE DOOR?

747. SOME TIME BEFORE THE SHOW.

748. I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU YOUR 10th ANNIVERSARY PRESENT.

749. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

750. WHO INVITED YOU?

751. OUT OF HERE.

752. LOOK AT YOU, YOU ARE SICK.

753. WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE? I WANT THE OTHER ONE.

754. GET OUT!

755. I'M THE ONLY ONE HERE, BABY.

756. AND NOW FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE,

757. PERVERT FUCK,

758. YOU'RE GONNA BE FANTASIZING ABOUT ME IN THIS OUTFIT.

759. HA HA HA HA!

761. Captioned by