Curb Your Enthusiasm 3x2

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2. A Division of TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.

3. YOU KNOW, I FOUND MY SOUL MATE.

4. I'M IN LOVE WITH HER,

5. I FOUND THE RIGHT ONE.

6. REALLY?

7. YEAH, DEBRA.

8. IT'S ONLY A COUPLE OF MONTHS, IT COULD GO SOUTH.

9. BUT I DON'T THINK IT WILL, BECAUSE SHE'S...

10. WHY WOULD IT?

11. WELL, WHY HAS IT FOR MY WHOLE LIFE?

12. BUT SHE,

13. THIS IS THE ONE. IS THIS THE ONE?

14. NO, NO, THAT'S NOT A GOOD ONE.

15. NO, I MEANT DEBRA.

16. OH, YEAH, IT'S MORE, IT'S LIKE I LOVE HER SOUL.

17. MM-HMM.

18. HER SOUL.

19. IT'S NOT JUST LIKE IT USED TO BE FOR ME,

20. LIKE, YOU KNOW, LIKE THE TROPHY.

21. IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT LOOKS ANYMORE?

22. SHE'S ATTRACTIVE, NO, SHE IS ATTRACTIVE.

23. BUT YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT.

24. I THINK ONE OF THE THINGS IS,

25. OF THIS COLOR?

26. I DON'T LIKE...

27. IT'S TOO FLASHY.

28. SHE'S A CHRISTIAN

29. SHE'S A WHAT?

30. SHE'S A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST?

31. SHE'S A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST, AND I, IT'S...

32. OH, DEAR.

33. DID YOU JUST SAY, "OH, DEAR" ?

34. YEAH.

35. I DON'T THINK YOU'VE EVER SAID THAT IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

36. NO ONE'S EVER TOLD ME

37. A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST BEFORE, I'VE BEEN SAVING IT.

38. CALLED FOR AN "OH, DEAR"--

39. HOLY COW, A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST.

40. IT'S A NIGHTMARE FOR ME, BECAUSE,

41. I'M UNDER THE WEATHER ABOUT 99% OF MY LIFE,

42. AND SHE DOESN'T—

43. SHE WON'T BRING YOU THE MEDICINE?

44. CAN'T TAKE IT,

45. AND GIVE IT TO SOMEBODY ELSE?

46. SHE DOESN'T HAVE A MEDICINE CHEST IN HER PLACE.

47. WAIT, ONE SECOND.

48. SOME MORE TIME, SIR?

49. NO, NO, NO, IT'S FINE.

50. WHAT, UM, YOU KNOW, I WANT TO GET ONE OF THESE,

51. I DON'T HAVE GOOD LUCK WITH THEM.

52. THAT'S THE ONE I HAVE.

53. YOU LIKE THIS ONE?

54. I BOUGHT THAT ONE, NOT HERE.

55. OH, YOU'VE GOT THE SAME ONE?

56. YEAH, I LOVE IT.

57. IT'S A GOOD PHONE, IT'S AN XR-71.

58. IT'S A GREAT ONE.

59. BUT IT DOES GO OUT ON OCCASION, LIKE IN A TUNNEL OR SOMETHING.

60. YOU CAN'T HEAR A RADIO WHEN YOU GO IN A TUNNEL, SO...

61. YES, YOU CAN, FM. YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

62. I NEVER LISTEN TO FM.

63. LISTEN TO?

64. I LISTEN TO TALK.

65. YOU HAVE A LOT OF PROGRAM, A LOT OF RINGS IN THAT.

66. OKAY, I'M GONNA TAKE THIS.

67. LISTEN, I MEANT TO ASK YOU THIS,

68. IN THIS SPECIAL,

69. AND, YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE YOU TO WATCH IT.

70. IT'S NOT LOCKED IN YET,

71. IF YOU THINK SOMETHING'S, YOU KNOW, CAN YOU WATCH IT?

72. WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME OVER ON FRIDAY NIGHT,

73. AND WATCH THE SPECIAL?

74. OH, THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC.

75. PHENOMENAL.

76. IS THAT GOOD?

77. I'D BE IN HEAVEN.

78. I MEAN, YOU KNOW, SHE'D BE THRILLED.

79. BRAVO.

80. FIRST CALL.

81. I KNOW.

82. FIRST CALL. VERY IMPRESSIVE.

83. HEY, IT'S WORKING!

84. YEAH, I'M RIGHT OUTSIDE, I JUST GOT IT.

85. YOU'RE MY FIRST CALL.

86. UM, WHAT ARE WE DOING ON FRIDAY?

87. FRIDAY NIGHT?

88. OKAY, GOOD, BECAUSE RICHARD'S GONNA COME OVER

89. AND WE'LL WATCH HIS SPECIAL.

90. WAIT, HOW ABOUT THIS?

91. WHY DON'T YOU CALL TED DANSON AND GET THE NUMBER OF RANDY,

92. OUR RESTAURANT,

93. THE WHOLE THING.

94. GREAT IDEA.

95. WHATEVER THE MONEY IS.

96. OH, SHE'S ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS, NO PEANUTS.

97. AND SHE'S ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS, SO, NO PEANUTS.

98. OKAY.

99. ASK HER IF JEFF COULD COME, HE HASN'T SEEN THE THING.

100. OH, AND CAN JEFF COME, BECAUSE HE HASN'T SEEN IT.

101. YEAH.

102. THAT'S RIGHT, MY FRIENDS FOR A CHANGE.

103. WELL, DEBRA, I HEARD THAT YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO THE EMMYS.

104. YES.

105. IS THAT RIGHT?

106. SO EXCITED.

107. ARE YOU EXCITED, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN?

108. OH, YEAH, THAT'S REALLY EXCITING.

109. IT IS EXCITING.

110. I HAD A DRESS MADE.

111. YOU HAD IT MADE?

112. GORGEOUS, ARMANDO ON BEVERLY, FITS LIKE A GLOVE.

113. WE'RE GONNA BE WATCHING IT, THE EAST COAST FEED.

114. I'M HAVING SOME FRIENDS OVER,

115. SO, MAYBE WE'LL SEE YOU GUYS WALK DOWN THE RED CARPET.

116. SHE'S GOT A WHOLE PARTY PLANNED TO WATCH IT.

117. DO YOU HAVE KETCHUP?

118. WHAT, KETCHUP?

119. WHY? YEAH.

120. I CAN'T EAT THE STEAK WITHOUT SOME KETCHUP.

121. YOU CAN'T ASK...

122. RANDY!

123. KETCHUP PLEASE?

124. YOU DON'T ASK A CHEF FOR KETCHUP.

125. HE'S RIGHT, LARRY'S RIGHT.

126. WHY IS IT INSULTING? IT'S KETCHUP.

127. IT'S GOOD FOOD.

128. IT'S LIKE A TRUCK STOP THING.

129. OH, THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.

130. THE FOOD IS GREAT.

131. IS IT? YEAH.

132. IS IT GOOD? REALLY WONDERFUL, THANK YOU.

133. DELICIOUS.

134. IT'S REALLY GOOD STUFF.

135. THANK YOU.

136. WHAT'D YOU ASK FOR KETCHUP FOR, WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?

137. WHAT?

138. YOU KNOW WHAT?

139. OVER FOR DINNER AGAIN.

140. WHY, WHAT DID I DO WRONG?

141. IT'S EXHAUSTING, IT'S JUST EXHAUSTING.

142. SO, WHERE'S THIS HBO SPECIAL?

143. L.D., HERE IT IS.

144. LISTEN, HOW LONG

145. LIKE FOUR MONTHS, THIS IS ONLY JUST ONE SHOW.

146. OH, COME ON.

147. IT'S GREAT, DON'T EVEN, DON'T EVEN.

148. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT, RICHARD.

149. HERE LIKE THIS IS GREAT.

150. I HAVE EVER HAD.

151. SUZIE MADE THEM, MY WIFE.

152. THIS AFTERNOON,

153. SOME BROWNIES.

154. THAT'S A GOOD SOUND SYSTEM YOU HAVE.

155. WHAT'S HAPPENING, LARRY?

156. SHIT.

157. SO MANY REMOTES?

158. YEAH, I WISH I HAD THE ANSWER TO THAT.

159. WE HAVE THIS GUY, MIKE,

160. AND, I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO WORK THE TV ANYMORE, HONESTLY.

161. I DON'T EVEN WATCH IT ANYMORE.

162. IT HAS TO BE ON CHANNEL THREE.

163. IT'S ON CHANNEL THREE.

164. AND TRY TO FIX IT.

165. YOU KNOW WHAT, LARRY?

166. THE EMMY'S

167. AND I AM NOT GONNA MISS THEM.

168. LAST YEAR BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT.

169. YEAH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

170. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIRE MIKE.

171. I'M NOT GONNA FIRE HIM.

172. WHY NOT?

173. I DON'T KNOW, HE'S BLACK, I DON'T WANT TO FIRE HIM.

174. YOU DON'T WANT TO FIRE A BLACK GUY?

175. NO, I DON'T, I DON'T WANT TO FIRE HIM.

176. IT'S SO RIDICULOUS!

177. WHO CARES WHAT HE IS, IF HE SUCKS, HE SUCKS.

178. WELL, HE COULD

179. EVERY WEEK HE COMES IN, HE NEVER FIXES IT.

180. WE CAN'T EVEN WATCH HIS SPECIAL?

181. THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

182. FIRE YOUR GUY, I GOT A GOOD GUY.

183. LARRY, WILL YOU FIX THIS PLEASE?

184. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS.

185. LOOK, HEY, I TRIED EVERY REMOTE,

186. OF THEM WORK, LOOK!

187. HAVE ONE REMOTE!

188. TO CALL HIM, LARRY.

189. ARE YOU GONNA CALL HIM?

190. WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD PLAY SCRABBLE.

191. WE CAN DO.

192. THAT'S A BAD JOKE, RIGHT?

193. YEAH, IT IS A JOKE, I MEAN, I DON'T—

194. SCRABBLE?

195. IT'S A JOKE, BUT WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?

196. SIT SHIVA?

197. WHY DON'T WE JUST PLAY TWISTER, WOULD YOU BE HAPPY?

198. IF THIS WAS YOUR SHOW, THEN YOU WOULD,

199. LET'S GO UPSTAIRS

200. THE COVERS AND SOB.

201. WHY DON'T WE JUST GO TO MY HOUSE AND WATCH IT, FOR CHRISSAKE?

202. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

203. I'LL GO TO YOUR HOUSE.

204. THANK YOU.

205. WAS TO WATCH YOUR THING.

206. ALRIGHT, FINE, WE'LL GO TO YOUR HOUSE.

207. I'LL PACK THESE

208. I DON'T FEEL WELL.

209. WHAT?

210. I REALLY DON'T FEEL WELL, I DON'T THINK I CAN GO.

211. YOU DON'T FEEL WELL? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

212. I'D LIKE TO GO HOME, I THINK.

213. YOU'RE ALMOST COLD LIKE A CORPSE.

214. AN ASPIRIN?

215. NO, I CAN'T TAKE AN ASPIRIN, BUT, THANK YOU.

216. WHAT'S THE MATTER?

217. UM, I DON'T—

218. IN THE BROWNIES?

219. NO, NO WAY, I DON'T LIKE PEANUTS

220. NEVER USES THEM.

221. I WOULDN'T ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN.

222. OF THOSE.

223. IN THE DINNER.

224. THAT SHE'S ALLERGIC, RIGHT?

225. WHAT?

226. ON THE PHONE.

227. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ON THE PHONE.

228. NO, YOU DIDN'T.

229. OH...

230. WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING?

231. TALKING ABOUT?

232. HE DID, I WAS STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM WHEN HE CALLED YOU.

233. I DIDN'T HEAR IT, OR I DIDN'T HEAR IT.

234. I'LL BET THE CELL PHONE.

235. ON THE CELL PHONE.

236. ALL THE TIME.

237. JESUS CHRIST, I KNEW YOU FUCKED IT UP.

238. I FUCKED IT UP?

239. IS THAT TO SAY?

240. I FUCKED IT UP.

241. YOU FUCKED IT UP!

242. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE A GODDAMN CELL PHONE!

243. CELL PHONE.

244. OKAY, DEBRA IS SICK!

245. CAN USE THAT GODDAMN PHONE!

246. I'D REALLY LIKE TO GO HOME.

247. IS WAIT IT OUT.

248. I AM SO SORRY.

249. WHY DON'T

250. AND, CAN'T YOU JUST, LIKE, TAKE A NAP,

251. AND WE CAN ALL WATCH IT AT MY HOUSE?

252. TAKE A NAP.

253. OR WHY DON'T—

254. I'D LIKE YOU TO TAKE ME HOME.

255. TO GO HOME, RICHARD.

256. YOU KNOW,

257. THANK YOU.

258. I AM SO SORRY, DEBRA,

259. WHAT A SHAME.

260. ABOUT IT.

261. WE CAN'T EVEN GET TO WATCH THE SPECIAL.

262. AND I'LL BE FINE.

263. WHAT ABOUT, YOU WANT TO JUST DRIVE HOME?

264. I DON'T REALLY FEEL COMFORTABLE DRIVING MYSELF.

265. TO TAKE HER HOME.

266. YOU KNOW? I MEAN...

267. NOW.

268. ALRIGHT, WE'RE GOING.

269. YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT, HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?

270. SHE'S NOT LOOKING WELL, I'M SO—

271. CELL PHONE, YOU FUCKED UP.

272. YEAH, WELL, WE'LL WATCH IT, DON'T WORRY.

273. THAT'S HORRIBLE.

274. SCRABBLE?

275. I'D LOVE TO PLAY SCRABBLE.

276. GOT IN THE MOOD.

277. LET'S GET IT.

278. REALLY, YOU WANT TO PLAY?

279. I'M ALL OVER IT, LET'S GO.

280. ABSOLUTELY, OKAY.

281. YOU DON'T NEED TO PLAY, IT'S BETTER WITH TWO.

282. ANY MILK?

283. I'M SORRY, BUT I GOT FIVE REMOTES, NOTHING'S WORKING.

284. JUST BE HONEST, MAN, 'CAUSE I'M BLACK, RIGHT?

285. RIGHT?

286. WHY?

287. THAT COULDN'T BE CRAZIER.

288. CRAZY, WHY DID I HIRE YOU?

289. THE PHONE, MAN.

290. YOU DIDN'T KNOW I WAS BLACK AT THE TIME.

291. ALRIGHT, THAT'S TRUE, BUT, I KEPT YOU AROUND.

292. BUT YOU'RE GETTING RID OF ME, RIGHT?

293. I FIRE WHITE PEOPLE, I FIRED WHITE PEOPLE.

294. PLENTY OF WHITE PEOPLE.

295. I'VE BEEN DOING THIS 15 YEARS, ALRIGHT?

296. OKAY, OKAY.

297. YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S NOT EVEN ME.

298. CAN I BE— ? OKAY.

299. YOU WANT IT, CAN WE BE HONEST HERE?

300. OKAY, LET'S BE HONEST, OKAY?

301. IT'S MY WIFE,

302. OH, DUDE.

303. NO, SERIOUSLY.

304. PLEASE DON'T GO THERE, MAN.

305. NO, BE MAN ENOUGH.

306. BE MAN ENOUGH.

307. IF YOU GONNA BE A RACIST, BE A MAN, MAN.

308. I WAS A MAN.

309. I WAS A MAN, WHAT GOOD DID IT DO ME?

310. ON YOUR WIFE, THANK YOU.

311. YOU'RE BLAMING IT ON YOUR RACE, WHAT'S WORSE?

312. I'D RATHER BLAME IT ON MY WIFE THAN BLAME IT ON MY RACE.

313. RIGHT, WHATEVER.

314. C'MON, DON'T TAKE IT, DON'T BE LIKE THAT.

315. I GOT THIS.

316. I GOT THE TIP.

317. THAT'S OKAY, I GOT THE TIP.

318. I GOT THE TIP, MAN.

319. OKAY, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T BE MAD.

320. C'MON, DON'T, COME ON, MIKE.

321. I WISH YOU WOULDN'T BE MAD ABOUT IT.

322. I'M GONNA RECOMMEND YOU TO A LOT OF PEOPLE.

323. WHATEVER.

324. I WILL, I'LL RECOMMEND YOU.

325. HEY, WANDA.

326. OH, HELLO.

327. HELLO.

328. FOR THE PRAYER GROUP?

329. NO, I'M NOT.

330. OH.

331. I'M ACTUALLY HERE TO SEE DEBRA.

332. OH, UNFORTUNATELY SHE'S A LITTLE UNDER THE WEATHER.

333. I KNOW, UM,

334. THE PEANUTS IN MY HOUSE.

335. OH, I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU.

336. HELLO, I'M DEBRA'S MOTHER.

337. OH, HI, I'M LARRY.

338. I KNOW.

339. ABOUT THIS.

340. OH, NO, NO, DON'T.

341. WE'RE ALL RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN LIVES.

342. I THINK THERE'S SOME TRUTH TO THAT.

343. COME.

344. RIGHT THIS WAY.

345. OUR PRAYER GROUP.

346. YOU'RE WELCOME TO JOIN US AFTERWARDS.

347. OH, OKAY.

348. UM, LET'S SEE HOW I'M DOING ON TIME.

349. OKAY.

350. AND DEBRA'S RIGHT IN THERE.

351. I'LL BE FINE TO GO TO THE EMMY'S.

352. C'MON, LOOK AT YOU.

353. YOU'RE LIPS ARE LIKE BALLOONS.

354. HI, LARRY.

355. HI, LARRY, SHE THINKS SHE CAN GO TOMORROW NIGHT.

356. THIS SHIT?

357. OH, MY GOSH.

358. WILL YOU TELL HIM, IT'S NOT THAT BAD, IS IT?

359. CAN YOU SEE OUT OF THAT EYE?

360. I CAN SEE, OF COURSE I CAN SEE.

361. HONEY, THEY'RE BULGING ALMOST, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, HON.

362. I'M SO SORRY

363. THING THERE.

364. YOU KNOW, I HAD THIS NEW CELL PHONE,

365. IT DIDN'T.

366. YEAH, NO, REALLY.

367. THAN THE CELL.

368. THIS PHONE TO ME.

369. THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT, LOOK AT HER.

370. GO TO THE AWARDS.

371. I'LL BE FINE BY TOMORROW NIGHT.

372. HE'S A SENSIBLE MAN, ON OCCASION.

373. I'LL BE FINE, SWEETIE, I'LL BE FINE.

374. HONEY, YOU DON'T—

375. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO.

376. HE'S RIGHT.

377. SHOULD THINK ABOUT?

378. YOU SHOULD JUST TAKE, UH, YOU KNOW, BENADRYL.

379. YOU'D KNOCK THAT OUT IN FIVE MINUTES.

380. WOULD BE GONE.

381. YOU WOULDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

382. I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT.

383. I DON'T TAKE MEDICATION.

384. POP IT IN.

385. NO, POP IT IN?

386. WHO'S GONNA KNOW?

387. POP IT IN?

388. THAT'S A BETRAYAL OF MY FAITH.

389. THAN YOU DO NOW.

390. NO ONE'S WATCHING, POP, TAKE A POP.

391. LISTEN, I HAVE SPENT

392. AND BELIEF AND FAITH.

393. WELL, WHY NOT JUST PRAY FOR THE TV?

394. AND DO, FIX THE TELEVISION?

395. WHY NOT JUST PRAY?

396. PRAY FOR THE TV? WHAT IS THAT?

397. WHAT?

398. HEY, BY THE WAY, IS THAT GUY ANY GOOD?

399. WELL, I DON'T KNOW, IT'S MY PARENTS' HOUSE.

400. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WE GOT ALL SORTS OF PROBLEM,

401. YOU WERE THERE THE OTHER NIGHT, WITH ALL THOSE REMOTES,

402. AND CHERYL, IT'S A PAIN IN THE NECK.

403. I JUST HAD TO FIRE OUR GUY, I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY NEW.

404. I'D LIKE TO JUST

405. OF THE WHOLE THING.

406. I DON'T KNOW IF HE'S GOOD, LARRY, MAYBE YOU SHOULD ASK HIM...

407. ON YOUR WAY OUT.

408. DO YOU HAVE ONE REMOTE, OR TWO?

409. OH, RICHARD.

410. OH, LARRY, COME.

411. JUST IN TIME,

412. WE'RE ABOUT TO BEGIN THE PRAYER CIRCLE.

413. YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING, NO.

414. YES.

415. YOU DON'T WANT ME IN THIS THING.

416. SHE'LL WIND UP WITH TUBERCULOSIS.

417. I REALLY GOT BAD KARMA, I'M NOT KIDDING.

418. OH, YES, WE DO.

419. I BEG TO DIFFER.

420. GRAB HANDS.

421. LET US JOIN HANDS.

422. OH, NO, NO, NOT THIS ARRANGEMENT.

423. LET'S DO BOY/GIRL HERE.

424. JOIN HANDS.

425. JOIN HANDS.

426. PUT HER OVER HERE.

427. NO, SHE NEEDS TO BE OVER THERE WITH HER HUSBAND.

428. THIS HEALING LIGHT,

429. WE KNOW, JESUS,

430. THAT YOU ARE WITH US, AND YOU ARE ALWAYS WITH US,

431. FOR THINE IS THE POWER, AND THE GLORY,

432. FOREVER AND EVER.

433. NO ONE CAN TOUCH US,

434. FOR GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US.

435. OH, CELL PHONE.

436. I'M SORRY.

437. CELL PHONE.

438. HELLO?

439. OH, HEY.

440. MAYBE.

441. WHO ARE THEY PLAYING?

442. I'M GONNA BE HUMILIATED.

443. A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.

444. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE?

445. ME? YOU, MY FRIEND.

446. YES, YES, YOU,

447. FUCKING HIGHFALUTIN',

448. YOU GOTTA GO, JOIN A RESTAURANT, HAVE AN INTEREST,

449. AND COOK PEANUT SAUCE.

450. HEY.

451. TO DO WITH THAT.

452. IF IT WASN'T FOR THE PEANUTS,

453. THEN SHE WOULDN'T LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN FUCKING VENETIAN!

454. RECOMMENDED DIDN'T WORK!

455. ON THE GODDAMN PLANET.

456. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

457. DID YOU SEE MY GIRLFRIEND?

458. WELL, YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE WAY SHE LOOKS.

459. SHOW UP AT AN EVENT?

460. WOULD I?

461. SHE HAS A MACARONI SALAD— ?

462. ABOUT THE SOUL, YOU LOVE HER SOUL.

463. PART OF THAT IS TRUE, BUT, THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE,

464. I HAVE TO, YOU KNOW,

465. WHY CAN'T SHE TAKE A BENADRYL?

466. THESE PEOPLE, WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

467. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS ATTITUDE.

468. I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT EITHER.

469. TAKE A BENADRYL.

470. SHE'LL BE BETTER IN FIVE MINUTES.

471. WITH MY DATE?

472. SHE'S PRETTY HELLBENT ON GOING TOO.

473. SHE'S GOT THE DRESS, "I GOT THE DRESS".

474. YOU KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.

475. SHE'S READY.

476. YEAH, KNOW WHAT WOULD MATCH HER HEAD?

477. A DRESS MADE OF, YOU KNOW, TURNIPS AND BLOOD.

478. YOU KNOW?

479. OH, GOD, SHE'S SO HIDEOUS.

480. LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

481. WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE?

482. SHE DENIES IT.

483. IT'S LIKE ALL, IT'S A DENIAL THING.

484. WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE HER? IT'LL BE FUN.

485. OH, THAT'S VERY, OH, YEAH, MR. BIG SHOT.

486. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE HER?

487. YEAH, WHAT DO WE DO? YOU GOTTA HELP ME OUT.

488. SHE'S NOT A RACE HORSE.

489. A SHOT OF BENADRYL,

490. WHILE SHE'S SLEEPING, OR SHOVE IT DOWN HER THROAT.

491. LIKE A HIT MAN?

492. HIT MAN?

493. THAT SHE ATE.

494. WAIT A MINUTE, WHY NOT PUT IT IN?

495. WHY NOT PUT IT IN THE BROWNIE?

496. THAT'S A FUCKING BRILLIANT IDEA.

497. A BRILLIANT IDEA?

498. YEAH, BECAUSE, YEAH, IT'S A FUCKING— !

499. WHAT, THE BENADRYL BROWNIE?

500. NO, FIRST OF ALL, IT WILL BE, SHE WILL NEVER KNOW.

501. I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU.

502. GOT BETTER,

503. IT WAS BECAUSE OF THE PRAYER.

504. THAT'S FANTASTIC.

505. WELL, I MEAN, YOU COULD DO IT, IT WOULDN'T BE HARD—

506. WHAT, THEY GONNA THROW ME IN PRISON?

507. THE RECIPE FROM SUZIE,

508. AND CHERYL WOULD BAKE THEM, PUT IT IN,

509. WE'D JUST GIVE HER THE BROWNIE.

510. LARRY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

511. HEY, YOU GOT A DOG.

512. YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, WE NEED PROTECTION,

513. IT'S JUST ME AND SAMMY IN THE HOUSE ALONE.

514. HE'S A GOOD BOY, THIS IS OSCAR.

515. OSCAR! OSKEE BOY!

516. HEY, OSKEE BOY!

517. DON'T GET HIM EXCITED, OKAY?

518. OKAY. YEAH.

519. WHAT, YOU JUST STOP BY, YOU DON'T CALL?

520. NO, I TRIED TO CALL,

521. COULDN'T GET THROUGH.

522. INTERFERENCE.

523. THAT'S A PIECE OF CRAP, THAT ONE.

524. I HAD THAT ONE, I GOT RID OF IT.

525. REALLY?

526. WHO'S THAT, ISN'T THAT SOMEBODY IN THE CAR?

527. OH, IT'S RICHARD, RICHARD LEWIS.

528. OH, OH.

529. SO, WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT?

530. ACTUALLY, THIS MAY SOUND A LITTLE STRANGE, BUT,

531. AND, JEFF BROUGHT OVER

532. WAIT A MINUTE.

533. THAT I MADE TO A DINNER PARTY?

534. YEAH, AT MY HOUSE.

535. LARRY, I BAKED

536. TO TAKE TO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY,

537. AND THEY WERE GONE.

538. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED.

539. HE STOLE HIS CHILD'S BROWNIES, LARRY.

540. YOU SEE WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH HERE?

541. THE MOUTH OF HIS BABY.

542. IT'S A TESTAMENT TO THE BROWNIE.

543. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE NOT SEEING.

544. BECAUSE THEY'RE INCREDIBLE BROWNIES.

545. MEDIOCRE BROWNIES,

546. WELL, THAT'S TRUE. HE WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN THEM.

547. TO WHY I'M HERE.

548. GIVE ME THE RECIPE.

549. THE BROWNIE RECIPE.

550. THE BROWNIE RECIPE.

551. OH, I CAN'T DO THAT, DARLING, I CAN'T.

552. NO, NO, NO, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? OF COURSE YOU CAN.

553. NO, I CAN'T, BECAUSE IT'S A SECRET FAMILY RECIPE

554. HANDED DOWN TO ME, I CAN'T.

555. SUZIE, SUZIE, SUZIE.

556. LOOK WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO HERE.

557. I'M TALKING TO LARRY DAVID.

558. YEAH, THE GUY WHO NEVER EVER TELLS ANYBODY ANYTHING.

559. I AM KNOWN FOR THAT.

560. THEIR DEEPEST SECRETS.

561. WELL, UM, THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW

562. I MIGHT NEED TO TRUST YOU WITH,

563. BUT THIS IS A SECRET.

564. MEAN TO YOU?

565. OKAY, OKAY, SECRET, SECRET, SECRET.

566. I'LL TELL YOU A SECRET, HOW ABOUT THAT?

567. NOBODY KNOWS, NOT EVEN CHERYL.

568. WELL, IF YOU'D LIKE TO TELL ME.

569. A TESTICLE.

570. YOU'RE KIDDING ME.

571. YEAH, IT'S NOT DEFINITE, THE POINT IS, I'M TELLING YOU,

572. I'M SHARING SOMETHING WITH YOU, BECAUSE I TRUST YOU.

573. I KNOW YOU CAN TRUST ME.

574. LARRY, I CANNOT GIVE YOU THE RECIPE.

575. NO, YOU CAN. NO, I CAN'T.

576. I CAN'T.

577. MY GRANDMOTHER, OKAY?

578. MAY SHE REST IN PEACE,

579. BROWNIE RECIPE TO ME,

580. AND YOU'RE ASKING ME TO BREAK A SACRED CONFIDENCE.

581. IT'S NOT "THE MANHATTAN PROJECT," YOU KNOW?

582. IT'S JUST A LITTLE— IT'S A RECIPE.

583. GO GET A MIX OR SOMETHING!

584. YOU'RE ASKING TOO MUCH, YOU ASK WAY TOO MUCH, I CAN'T.

585. OSCAR, COME.

586. I'M GONNA LOSE A BALL!

587. OKAY, SO, UM,

588. IN SOME BROWNIES.

589. A LOT OF BENADRYL.

590. ARE YOU KIDDING?

591. WHAT'S THE DOWNSIDE?

592. THINK OF IT, IT'S LIKE A—

593. IT'S AN ACT OF HUMANITY ON YOUR PART.

594. I'M BEGGING YOU.

595. AREN'T YOU GUYS SUPPOSED TO BE GOING TO THE EMMY'S TOMORROW NIGHT?

596. WHY?

597. WHAT? RICHARD.

598. THIS IS ABOUT, LARRY?

599. BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO TAKE HER TO THE EMMY'S

600. THE WAY SHE LOOKS?

601. HE TAKE HER?

602. SHE'S HIDEOUS, I DON'T BLAME HIM.

603. OUT OF YOUR MIND?

604. WHY?

605. IT'S NOT ONLY THAT, I WANT HER TO GET BETTER.

606. IT'S 90%.

607. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIE TO HER—

608. IT'S NOT 90-10.

609. IT'S 85-15.

610. NO, NO, 75-25.

611. IT'S NOT EVEN THAT.

612. TELL HER THE TRUTH.

613. YOU'RE EMBARRASSED TO BE SEEN WITH HER,

614. AND I DON'T BLAME HIM, AND SO WHAT?

615. SO, SHE TAKES A LITTLE BENADRYL,

616. YOU PUT IT IN THE BROWNIE, BIG DEAL.

617. WHY DON'T YOU BUY SOME BROWNIES,

618. OUT OF THIS!

619. WE WENT OVER THIS.

620. DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT TAMPERING?

621. HUH?

622. ABOUT TAMPERING?

623. WELL, YOU CAN'T DO THAT

624. WILL FALL APART.

625. IT'S GOTTA BE IN THE MIX WHEN YOU MAKE THE BROWNIE.

626. OF THIS YOURSELF, AND...

627. NO, HOW CAN— WE DON'T KNOW—

628. OUT OF THIS.

629. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BAKE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

630. TO BE BAKED.

631. THEY HAVE TO BE BAKED.

632. DON'T YOU THINK SHE'S GONNA TASTE BENADRYL IN THE BROWNIES?

633. IT'S TOTALLY TASTELESS.

634. THERE'S NO TASTE TO THIS STUFF.

635. THERE'S NO TASTE TO IT.

636. TO THE PHARMACIST.

637. OH, YOU ASKED HIM IF YOU PUT THIS IN BROWNIES,

638. TO TASTE IT?

639. THERE'S NO TASTE TO IT AT ALL.

640. THEY'RE ODORLESS AND TASTELESS.

641. FOR HER BIG HEAD.

642. IT'S GROTESQUE.

643. IT'S LIKE SHE SHOULD BE IN A CARNIVAL ON CONEY ISLAND.

644. I'M TELLING YOU.

645. I HAVE HEARD IN A LONG TIME.

646. YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S A GOOD IDEA,

647. 'CAUSE IF IT WORKS,

648. THE PRAYER DID IT.

649. THAT'S WHAT'S SO SMART ABOUT IT.

650. IS A GENIUS IDEA.

651. IT'S NOT LIKE, "HOW DID I GET BETTER ALL OF A SUDDEN?"

652. IT WAS THEIR RELIGION.

653. YEAH, IT WAS THE RELIGION.

654. YEAH. PRAYER WORKED.

655. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IT HAPPENED IN OUR HOUSE.

656. OKAY.

657. OKAY.

658. ALRIGHT, I THINK WE SHOULD— YOU KNOW.

659. ALRIGHT, I JUST WANT TO TALK TO HER FOR A SECOND.

660. CHERYL.

661. ALRIGHT, WELL, THANKS FOR DOING THIS.

662. STUPID, IS IT?

663. THIS IS STUPID?

664. IT'S NOT SUCH A BIG DEAL.

665. LET'S NOT MAKE SUCH A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT, OKAY?

666. IT'S NOT REALLY A BIG DEAL.

667. IT'S JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE FOR ME.

668. ALRIGHT, WELL THEN DON'T DO IT, IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU FEEL.

669. NO, NO, I'LL DO IT, I'LL DO IT, JUST GO.

670. THIS STUFF?

671. I DON'T EVEN KNOW, CAN YOU BAKE?

672. I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU BAKE ANYTHING, I'M SORRY.

673. PLEASE.

674. FOR DEBRA.

675. BAKED THEM.

676. I'LL TAKE THEM TO HER.

677. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

678. UM...

679. WE'D LIKE TO,

680. IF IT'S ALL THE SAME TO YOU.

681. WHEN I GIVE THESE TO HER, IT WOULD MEAN A LOT TO ME.

682. ME, TOO.

683. ONE MINUTE.

684. SURE.

685. ABSOLUTELY.

686. VERY MUCH.

687. HI, HONEY.

688. HI.

689. YOU LOOK, UH, YOU KNOW.

690. YEAH?

691. I LOVE YOU.

692. HI, LARRY.

693. UNCLE LARRY BROUGHT.

694. WHAT IS THAT?

695. A LITTLE TREAT.

696. SURPRISE.

697. BROWNIES.

698. BROWNIES.

699. NO PEANUTS.

700. THANK THE LORD.

701. OH, THE ONES FROM THE OTHER NIGHT?

702. OH.

703. GOT THE RECIPE.

704. THE RECIPE?

705. OH.

706. TAKE IT.

707. OH, GEEZ.

708. GO AHEAD, TAKE A LITTLE TASTE.

709. OH.

710. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

711. TAKE A BITE.

712. MMM, HUH?

713. HUH, WHAT DO YOU THINK? YOU LIKE THAT?

714. HMM.

715. AGAIN, HUH?

716. YOU KNOW, THEY'RE NOT QUITE THE SAME.

717. NO, THEY'RE THE SAME.

718. YEAH, YEAH. MM-MM.

719. MM-MM. YEAH, YEAH.

720. HONEY, JUST TRY ANOTHER ONE.

721. FOR MAKING THE EFFORT,

722. REALLY NOT THE SAME.

723. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THEY'RE DELICIOUS, EAT IT.

724. IT'S GOOD.

725. IT'S GOOD, TAKE IT.

726. NOT THE SAME BROWNIES.

727. NOT THE SAME BROWNIES? IT'S THE SAME BROWNIE!

728. THEY'RE DEFINITELY NOT THE SAME BROWNIES.

729. BELIEVE ME, THEY'RE THE SAME BROWNIE,

730. MY WIFE BAKED THEM, I KNOW WHAT SHE BAKED.

731. THESE REALLY SUCK.

732. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SHE DOESN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

733. AND SALT.

734. MY WIFE'S BAKING!

735. THERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING.

736. FINE, FINE.

737. ALRIGHT.

738. YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE.

739. TAKE THEM FOR LATER, SAVE IT.

740. TO SAY, LARRY?

741. THEY'RE HORRIBLE!

742. FOR THE EMMY'S?

743. NOTHING'S HAPPENING, WAIT.

744. OKAY, WAIT, LARRY

745. OH, MY GOD.

746. DIRECTIONS FOR ME, BECAUSE, UM,

747. WE—

748. WELL, HIT THE RED BUTTON.

749. THIS IS PITIFUL.

750. NO, NO, LARRY!

751. WHAT?

752. I CAN'T GET THE SATELLITE TO GO ON.

753. IT WAS WORKING YESTERDAY, JUST FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS!

754. AND FIX THE DAMN THING!

755. WE'RE MISSING JOAN!

756. WE'RE MISSING

757. SO PATHETIC.

758. YOU CAN'T WAIT THREE HOURS? IT'LL COME ON REGULAR TV.

759. WHEN THE NEW YORKERS WATCH IT.

760. THE PRE-SHOW WITH JOAN,

761. WE'RE MISSING THAT RIGHT NOW.

762. WHAT EVERYONE'S WEARING.

763. WHAT WAS THAT, BUSINESS I SAW YOU, UH, YESTERDAY?

764. AT THE COFFEE SHOP?

765. WHAT BUSINESS?

766. WITH THE BLACK GUY.

767. YOU FIXED HIS TIP?

768. WHAT HAPPENED?

769. SO? YEAH.

770. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "SO" ?

771. YOU DIDN'T KNOW? LARRY'S A TIP PROFILER.

772. A BLACK MAN'S TIP.

773. WELL, HE DIDN'T LEAVE ENOUGH OF A TIP,

774. SUPPOSED TO DO?

775. WELL, YOU TRYING TO GET OR SOMETHING?

776. IF IT WASN'T A RACIAL THING,

777. WHY'D YOU DO IT BEHIND HIS BACK?

778. I DIDN'T DO IT BEHIND HIS BACK!

779. INTO THE RESTAURANT.

780. I DID NOT!

781. YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN IT.

782. I DIDN'T TIP-TOE, HE STORMED OUT IN A HUFF!

783. I WOULD'VE DONE IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE,

784. BUT HE STORMED OUT.

785. WELL, WHY'D HE STORM OUT?

786. WELL, BECAUSE I FIRED HIM, THAT'S WHY.

787. YOU FIRED HIM?

788. YOU FIRED HIM?

789. WELL, WHY YOU FIRE THE BLACK MAN?

790. I FIRED THE BLACK MAN,

791. BECAUSE HE'S THE GUY WHO SET UP

792. AND IT DOESN'T WORK.

793. AND HE'S HERE LIKE, EVERY WEEK, I'M GIVING HIM CHECKS.

794. WE'VE GOT FIVE REMOTES, I CAN'T TURN IT ON.

795. BUT I KNOW, YOU KNOW, BLACK MAN,

796. DO ANYTHING WRONG.

797. AND HE SHOULDN'T GET FIRED FROM A JOB.

798. DO EVERYTHING RIGHT.

799. FOR THE TV TO WORK.

800. GREEN LIGHT?

801. TURN IT ON.

802. THE BLACK MAN,

803. WORKS FOR YOU.

804. ALRIGHT, THANK YOU.

805. THANKS, LARRY.

806. WHAT'S HER NAME, JANE KACZMAREK?

807. YEAH, SHE'S FUNNY.

808. THERE'S KELSEY GRAMMER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND.

809. Thank you, Kelsey.

810. Kelsey Grammer, ladies and gentlemen,

811. one of the greats of our community.

812. OH, MY GOD, THERE'S RICHARD!

813. It's Richard Lewis, Richard, over here!

814. Richard, Richard!

815. Come on, it's Joan!

816. Just get over here, it's so good to see you,

817. Oh, my God.

818. I've seen better faces on a hemorrhoid.

819. When E.T. called home, did you pick up the phone?

820. How are things in Loch Ness?

822. A Division of TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.

823. Captioned by