Curb Your Enthusiasm 3x10

1. by

2. A Division of TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.

3. It's something a Kentucky farmer says she's never seen before.

4. A hand taking newborn puppies under her wing.

5. SO, GUESS WHO CANCELED LUNCH WITH ME AGAIN?

6. SUSIE GREENE.

7. REALLY?

8. YEAH, AND THIS TIME,

9. TO GO TO THE DENTIST.

10. SO, SHE HAD TO GO TO THE DENTIST.

11. OKAY, THAT'S BULLSHIT.

12. THAT'S LIKE THE ADULT EQUIVALENT OF THE DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK.

13. I'M NOT MAKING ANYMORE DATES WITH HER.

14. SHE'S DONE IT TO ME BEFORE.

15. I MEAN, IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO LUNCH,

16. WHY DOESN'T SHE JUST SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT,

17. I'D RATHER NOT GO TO LUNCH WITH YOU?

18. WELL, MAYBE SHE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.

19. I DON'T THINK SO.

20. LISTEN, ARE YOU GOING TO YOUR OFFICE TOMORROW?

21. CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

22. MAYBE.

23. CAN'T YOU JUST SAY YES?

24. NO.

25. THAT YOU WOULDN'T SAY YES TO?

26. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

27. WELL, I JUST SAW THE OSTEOPATH

28. GET SOME COLON CLEANSE.

29. IT'S ACTUALLY CALLED COLON CLEANSE.

30. AND HE SAID IT WILL FLUSH, LITERALLY FLUSH IT OUT.

31. TO DO WITH A COUGH?

32. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.

33. BUT HE SAYS IT'LL KNOCK IT OUT LIKE THAT.

34. SO, PLEASE, WILL YOU DO THAT FOR ME?

35. ALRIGHT.

36. Speaking of good eating,

37. here's Andy Portico with this week's restaurant review.

38. Andy?

39. OH, ANDY PORTICO'S REVIEWING A NEW RESTAURANT.

40. Today I'll be talking about stuffing your face again.

41. I don't think I've eaten as badly since I was in the army

42. and at least then I had my youth.

43. ASSHOLE.

44. people could've learned something from army food.

45. OH MY GOD.

46. I'd rather eat "C" Rations...

47. SO BRUTAL.

48. than the swill they serve in this place.

49. It's a criminal enterprise, not a restaurant

50. and all these people should be...

51. BE CLOSED IN TWO DAYS.

52. ALL BECAUSE OF THIS.

53. HE'S COMING TO THE OPENING NEXT WEEK.

54. REALLY? YEAH.

55. ALL THE...

56. ALL THE DIGGING, YEAH, SHH, QUIET.

57. I'm gonna have to give it a big two thumbs down.

58. WHAT A SURPRISE!

59. I'm Andy Portico, thanks for watching.

60. ISN'T THAT CLEVER?

61. YEAH.

62. THE THUMBS DOWN.

63. IT'S REAL ORIGINAL, THE THUMBS DOWN.

64. I MEAN, IT'S REALLY AWFUL THAT THIS GUY'S, YOU KNOW,

65. HE'S CONTROLLING THE FATE OF OUR RESTAURANT PRACTICALLY.

66. I KNOW, IT'S SO SUBJECTIVE, ISN'T IT?

67. IT'S TERRIBLE.

68. HOW DOES HE DECIDE?

69. GUY COULDN'T GET DATES.

70. THE REST OF THE WORLD.

71. I COULDN'T GET DATES, YOU DON'T SEE ME TAKING IT OUT ON ANYBODY.

72. OH, REALLY? YEAH.

73. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

74. BUT, LISTEN, DON'T YOU KNOW SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS HIM?

75. IN A GOOD WORD.

76. YOU KNOW, JEFF'S DAUGHTER

77. THE SAME SCHOOL AS HIS SON.

78. OH, THAT'S A START, RIGHT?

79. AH, JEFF'S NOT GONNA SAY ANYTHING.

80. GOODNIGHT.

81. GOODNIGHT FOR WITH THAT COUGH?

82. CAN YOU GET THE LIGHTS PLEASE?

83. MAKE YOU FEEL STUPID?

84. YEAH.

85. WELL, HEALTH FOOD STORES REALLY MAKE ME FEEL UNHEALTHY.

86. HEY, WHAT'S THIS BULLSHIT, BY THE WAY?

87. ABOUT GOING TO THE DENTIST.

88. APPOINTMENT.

89. WELL, 'CAUSE CHERYL DOESN'T BELIEVE A WORD OF IT.

90. I WAS WITH HER.

91. YEAH, SHE KEEPS BREAKING THESE APPOINTMENTS WITH CHERYL.

92. I WAS WITH HER, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

93. I CAN'T FIND THIS COLON CLEANSER.

94. ASK SOMEBODY.

95. WE'VE BEEN UP AND DOWN THE STORE 10 TIMES.

96. ASK SOMEBODY, THAT'S WHY.

97. YEAH? EXCUSE ME.

98. I'M LOOKING FOR A COLON CLEANSER.

99. OH, ADAM?

100. WHERE'S THE COLON CLEANSE?

101. THE WHAT?

102. THE COLON CLEANSE.

103. COLON CLEANSE IS AISLE "G", IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

104. OH, OKAY.

105. IT'S JUST RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, RIGHT THERE.

106. IT'S FOR MY WIFE, IT'S FOR MY WIFE.

107. WHO'S THAT GUY?

108. I DON'T KNOW.

109. BOY, DOES HE LOOK FAMILIAR.

110. FAMILIAR TO YOU?

111. WHO'S THAT?

112. I KNOW THAT.

113. THE CHEF, THAT'S OUR CHEF.

114. OUR CHEF'S BALD.

115. THAT'S THE CHEF.

116. HEY!

117. HEY, LARRY.

118. PHIL, RIGHT?

119. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

120. WHAT'S WITH THE...

121. YOU DIDN'T WANT...

122. WELL, YEAH, I DID, UH...

123. THE INTERVIEW.

124. YES.

125. SO, I TOOK MY TOUPEE OFF.

126. JUST TO GET THE JOB?

127. I'M SORRY I DECEIVED YOU.

128. I HOPE THIS DOESN'T, YOU KNOW, AFFECT, YOU KNOW...

129. WELL, I'M SORRY, BUT IT WILL.

130. UNDER FALSE PRETENSES.

131. WITH MY FOOD THOUGH.

132. I KNOW, BUT I DON'T TRUST YOU.

133. TALKING ABOUT?

134. NO, I'M SORRY.

135. OF YOURSELF, LET'S GO.

136. I MEAN, WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

137. FIVE YEARS,

138. AT HOME?

139. YEAH, RIGHT.

140. ON WEEKENDS.

141. LIVE A DOUBLE LIFE.

142. UNBELIEVABLE.

143. HE HAD NO PLAN.

144. HE HAD A GOOD PLAN.

145. TO GET HIRED.

146. OH, LIKE YOU WOULDN'T HIRE A FAT GUY, HUH?

147. YOU DON'T HAVE A PROCLIVITY FOR FAT PEOPLE?

148. PROCLIVITY FOR FAT PEOPLE.

149. IF A FAT GUY CAME IN, YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO HIRE HIM?

150. YOU WOULD'VE BEEN ALL OVER THAT FAT GUY.

151. YOU WOULD'VE LOVED THAT FAT GUY, DON'T TELL ME.

152. ALL THINGS BEING EQUAL, I'D HIRE THE FAT GUY.

153. OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

154. AND, BY THE WAY, IT'S NOT LIKE I DON'T HIRE OTHER PEOPLE

155. WHO AREN'T BALD, OKAY?

156. I DON'T HAVE A BALD MANAGER.

157. I DON'T HAVE A BALD LAWYER.

158. YEAH, YOU HAVE A BALD ACCOUNTANT,

159. A BALD UROLOGIST, A BALD TRAVEL AGENT.

160. THAN THE AVERAGE PERSON.

161. OKAY, SO I DO, SO, SO WHAT?

162. WELL, I JUST WANT YOU TO NOTICE.

163. OKAY, I NOTICE, IT'S DULY NOTED.

164. ALRIGHT, I KNEW YOU'D SAY DULY NOTED, TOO.

165. OH, DID YOU, OH, YOU'RE SO SMART.

166. I KNEW.

167. I SAY BEFORE I SAY IT.

168. BEFORE YOU SAY IT.

169. OH, WHAT A GENIUS YOU ARE.

170. OH, WHAT A GENIUS YOU ARE.

171. OH, YOU KNEW I WAS GONNA SAY TO THAT, TOO?

172. GONNA SAY THAT, TOO.

173. OH, I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA SAY THAT.

174. GONNA SAY THAT.

175. AW, JEEZ.

176. ALRIGHT, LISTEN, I GOT TO GO...

177. TROUBLE HERE, OH MY GOD.

178. THESE INVESTORS NOW...

179. WHAT JUST HAPPENED, WE HAVE NO CHEF.

180. THIS JUST STINKS.

181. YEAH, WOW, YOU GOT TO TELL THEM.

182. I'LL BE THERE WITH YOU, BUT YOU GOT TO TELL THEM.

183. WE OPEN IN FOUR DAYS, NO CHEF.

184. AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL THEM

185. A TOUPEE.

186. LISTEN, I GOT TO GO TO SAMMY'S SCHOOL,

187. DROP OFF HER LUNCH, AND THEN I'LL TAKE YOU TO YOUR OFFICE.

188. I DON'T UNDERSTAND, YOUR DAUGHTER GOES HERE?

189. I SEE OLDER KIDS.

190. IT'S K. THROUGH 12, THE WHOLE THING.

191. OH, OH DEAR, AW, LOOK AT THAT.

192. POOR KID LOST HIS HAIR, HE'S GETTING CHEMO.

193. NO, NO, HE'S NOT GOING THROUGH CHEMOTHERAPY.

194. IN THE SENIOR CLASS, AS A SHOW OF SOLIDARITY,

195. THEIR HEADS.

196. YEAH. REALLY?

197. THAT'S REALLY SOMETHING.

198. YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE...

199. I'LL GET A CHANCE TO DO

200. SOMEBODY LIKE THAT.

201. IT'S REALLY TOUCHING.

202. YOU'VE ALREADY GOT LIKE KIND OF A HEAD START ACTUALLY.

203. HA, FUNNY.

204. WHAT'S ALL THIS?

205. THE PARENTS AND THE KIDS, THEY PLAY DODGE BALL.

206. OH, YEAH? YEP.

207. WOW. YEAH.

208. YOU KNOW.

209. HEY, IS THAT, UH...

210. ANDY PORTICO.

211. THAT'S PORTICO.

212. COME ON!

213. BOY, IS HE INTO IT.

214. ABOUT THE RESTAURANT?

215. NO, I WOULDN'T DARE.

216. PLAYING DODGE BALL.

217. PLAYING DODGE BALL?

218. OH, YEAH.

219. WHY DON'T YOU PLAY, GET IN THE GAME?

220. AW, YOU KNOW, THEY GOT A WHOLE THING GOING HERE.

221. THEY CAN ADD, IT'S A FUN GAME.

222. I'M NOT GONNA ASK THEM.

223. COME ON, SANDRA?

224. OH, COME ON.

225. CAN MY FRIEND PLAY?

226. SURE!

227. GO AHEAD, I'M GONNA GO TAKE THE LUNCHBOX TO SAMMY.

228. I'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW.

229. ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA PLAY SOME DODGE BALL.

230. HAVE A GOOD TIME.

231. OKAY, LET'S GET GOING HERE.

232. ALRIGHT, LARRY DAVID.

233. HEY, I'M COMING TO YOUR RESTAURANT NEXT WEEK.

234. OH, OKAY.

235. I'M GONNA REVIEW IT.

236. COME ON, LARRY, HA, HA, HA, HA.

237. YOU'RE OUT!

238. ALRIGHT, YOU'RE OUT.

239. IT HIT THE GROUND.

240. IT'S BULLSHIT!

241. HIT THE GROUND.

242. GET OUT OF THERE!

243. HIT THE GROUND, PORTICO.

244. YOU'RE OUT!

245. OW, FUCK!

246. YOU DONE?

247. AW, OH, UGH.

248. WHAT THE FUCK?

249. SORRY.

250. POSSIBLY HAPPEN?

251. DODGE BALL WITH ANDY PORTICO?

252. ADULTS WERE PLAYING, OKAY?

253. IT WAS A PARENTS/KIDS GAME.

254. WELL, WHAT ARE YOU, WHAT ARE YOU,

255. SO HARD FOR?

256. WHAT, YOU'RE INJURING HIM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

257. IN THE GAME.

258. AN ASSHOLE, TOO, BY THE WAY.

259. IT WASN'T ALL MY FAULT.

260. THE COOK?

261. WE OPEN IN THREE DAYS, WE DON'T HAVE A CHEF.

262. WELL, THE GUY WAS FULL OF SHIT.

263. AS BALD AND HE WASN'T BALD.

264. WANT ME TO DO?

265. SO, BIG DEAL, SO, HE WEARS A TOUPEE WHEN HE'S NOT HERE.

266. WHO CARES?

267. 'CAUSE HE'S LIAR, THE GUY'S A BALD-FACED...

268. LITERALLY, A BALD-FACED LIAR.

269. WE'VE GOT MORE PROBLEMS THAN THAT.

270. LOST INVESTORS.

271. TED'S GONE. HUGH'S GONE.

272. IS GONE.

273. OKAY, BUT I MADE UP THAT MONEY, YOU KNOW THAT, SO WHAT IS SO?

274. OPEN A RESTAURANT.

275. YOU'VE GOT TO PULL US

276. WALLOWING IN.

277. WHAT ABOUT THE MUCK, ARE WE IN ANY MUCK?

278. WE ARE, OH, WE'RE IN A BIG MUCK.

279. WE DON'T HAVE A CHEF.

280. WELL, IF WE'RE IN MIRE, I WOULD ASSUME THAT WE'RE ALSO IN MUCK.

281. IN MUCK AND MIRE.

282. I WAS IN A MIRE.

283. WAS INVOLVED AS WELL.

284. TO ASCERTAIN?

285. YES.

286. LET'S NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT BECAUSE I...

287. ASCERTAIN.

288. YOU KNOW, ALL OF

289. HE DID TO PORTICO, OKAY,

290. HE'S GONNA SLAUGHTER US, OKAY?

291. HE'S GONNA PUT HIS THUMBS THROUGH THE TABLE.

292. APOLOGIZE TO PORTICO.

293. OH, YOU KNOW, I'LL APOLOGIZE.

294. IT'S NOT GONNA, IT'S NOT GONNA...

295. APOLOGIZE TO PORTICO, THAT'S IT.

296. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL, LARRY?

297. I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.

298. ALRIGHT, I'LL GO APOLOGIZE, LET'S TALK ABOUT A NEW CHEF.

299. EVERYBODY'S GOT A...

300. YOU KNOW, TED KNEW ANOTHER GUY, NEVERMIND.

301. OH, LARRY.

302. ANDY.

303. YEAH, YOU KNOW, I'D GET UP

304. EXCEPT I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANY HANDS TO SHAKE, YOU KNOW?

305. OH MY GOSH.

306. WELL, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BREAK YOUR THUMBS.

307. OH, GOD ALMIGHTY.

308. AND I'M A FUCKING MUPPET.

309. I'M SO SORRY, ANDY.

310. I'M SORRY, TOO.

311. WE WERE PLAYING A GAME AND I,

312. WAS A FUCKING HYDROGEN BOMB.

313. I JUST, YOU KNOW, I HADN'T PLAYED IN A LONG TIME

314. AND I WAS HAVING FUN AND...

315. WELL, I WON'T BE ABLE TO REVIEW THE RESTAURANT, OF COURSE.

316. WHY NOT?

317. BECAUSE I CAN'T DO THUMBS UP, THUMBS DOWN.

318. THAT'S MY WHOLE GIMMICK.

319. I CAN'T DO THE SHOW FOR TWO MONTHS, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

320. I CAN'T DO THIS...

321. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T...

322. BECAUSE I CAN'T DO MY SHTICK.

323. OH, WHAT A SHAME.

324. YEAH, WELL.

325. I CAN'T DO THUMBS UP, THUMBS DOWN.

326. YOU CAN'T GO LIKE THIS.

327. I CAN'T GO LIKE THIS.

328. DODGE BALL GAME.

329. DODGE BALL GAME.

330. WELL, IN ANY EVENT, IT'S A SHAME THAT

331. YOU'RE GONNA MISS THE OPENING OF THE RESTAURANT.

332. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO REVIEW IT.

333. AND, WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT OPENING?

334. THERE'S NO OPENING ANY WAY BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE A CHEF.

335. YOU LOST YOUR CHEF?

336. LOST THE CHEF, YEAH.

337. WELL, THAT'S CRUCIAL.

338. YEAH, I'D SAY.

339. YOU KNOW, AS IT HAPPENS,

340. WHO JUST LEFT MARTINES.

341. YOU KNOW MARTINES.

342. OF COURSE I KNOW MARTINES, IN NEW YORK.

343. YEAH, AND AS A MATTER OF FACT, HE'S OUT HERE NOW.

344. HE'S WEIGHING OFFERS.

345. I GOT TO GET THIS GUY'S NAME.

346. IS HIS NAME.

347. GUY BERNIER?

348. GUY BERNIER.

349. IN A WORD FOR YOU.

350. WOULD YOU?

351. 'CAUSE I LOVE OF CREDIBILITY WITH HIM.

352. WELL, THIS IS, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

353. HEY, LOOK, I'M HAPPY TO DO IT.

354. YOU KNOW, I MEAN, NO HARD FEELINGS, HONESTLY.

355. YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE THIS COULD'VE HAPPENED TO ANYONE.

356. YOUR LUNCH.

357. EXCUSE ME.

358. IT'S SPAGHETTI WITH MARINARA SAUCE AND SOME CHEESE.

359. OKAY, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, YOU FUCKING MORON.

360. TO EAT THAT, HUH?

361. TO SUCK IT UP MY ASS?

362. DIDN'T I ASK YOU TO

363. I COULD EAT, YOU KNOW,

364. WITH, LIKE THROUGH A STRAW?

365. LISTEN, I'M FUCKING HUNGRY SO ORDER ME SOMETHING.

366. I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS.

367. I CAN FUCKING EAT.

368. I'LL ORDER SOMETHING ELSE.

369. JESUS.

370. I MEAN, FUCKING IDIOT, YOU KNOW?

371. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

372. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I'LL HELP YOU OUT HERE.

373. LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

374. OKAY, COME ON.

375. NO, NO, REALLY, HONESTLY.

376. AW, LISTEN, DON'T.

377. ANDY, WILL YOU STOP IT?

378. PLEASE, NOW REALLY.

379. NO, NO, YOU PLEASE, NO, YOU PLEASE.

380. NO, I, UH, NO, COME ON.

381. GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

382. IT'S GOOD, ISN'T IT?

383. ANDY.

384. OH MY GOSH, I'M SORRY.

385. ARE YOU DOING?

386. HEY, HERE YOU GO.

387. THAT I HAVE ONE PROBLEM.

388. IS WITH SALMON.

389. I WON'T BUY IT, I WON'T BROIL IT, I WON'T BAKE IT.

390. OH.

391. WELL, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH SALMON, HUH?

392. OH, A BIG PROBLEM.

393. BIG PROBLEM.

394. WELL, WE WON'T HAVE SALMON, RIGHT?

395. NO, ABSOLUTELY.

396. SALMON'S OUT.

397. IN THE SEA.

398. WHO NEEDS IT?

399. AND ALSO, UH, CAPER.

400. I CAN'T STAND CAPERS EITHER.

401. I DON'T LIKE THEM.

402. IN THE KITCHEN,

403. THERE'S GOING TO BE BIG PROBLEM.

404. UH-HUH, OKAY.

405. ALRIGHT, NO CAPERS.

406. OKAY?

407. YES.

408. AW, THIS IS GREAT.

409. IN NEW YORK?

410. YEAH, SURE.

411. I'VE BEEN THERE ABOUT THREE OR FOUR TIMES.

412. THIS IS THE GUY.

413. VOILA.

414. OKAY.

415. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

416. THANK YOU.

417. IT'S MY PLEASURE, IT'S FANTASTIC SPOT.

418. WE'RE THRILLED TO HAVE YOU.

419. I'M THRILLED, TOO.

420. OKAY, WELL, NOW I HAVE APPOINTMENT.

421. I HAVE TO GO, OKAY, BYE.

422. SEE YOU TOMORROW.

423. SEE YOU TOMORROW.

424. OH, THIS IS, I'M, I CAN'T...

425. WELL, LARRY, NICE JOB.

426. SHIT, SHIT-FACE FUCK SHIT COCKSUCKER.

427. OH, I'D BETTER GET A TICKET.

428. HE'S GOT SOME 'TUDE, THIS GUY, HUH?

429. SOME CHAMPAGNE?

430. THE CHAMPAGNE?

431. YEAH, LET'S CRACK OPEN A BOTTLE OF THE GOOD STUFF.

432. LOOK AT YOUR CAR.

433. ALWAYS SO FILTHY?

434. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

435. EW, IT'S DIRTY...

436. ALL OF IT, INSIDE, OUTSIDE.

437. GET DIRTY?

438. HUH?

439. YOU NEED TO WASH THIS, SERIOUSLY.

440. OKAY, FINE, I'LL WASH IT RIGHT NOW.

441. NO, NOT NOW.

442. NO, YOU CAN'T DO IT NOW.

443. I'M MEETING SUSIE FOR LUNCH.

444. IT'S RIGHT ON THE WAY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

445. LISTEN, THIS IS

446. AND I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR IT.

447. IT TAKES TWO MINUTES.

448. I JUST DON'T WANT ANOTHER FALLING OUT WITH HER.

449. MY VOICE IS TODAY.

450. OH, HEY, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN.

451. I'M STARTING TO GET STOMACH CRAMPS.

452. DOWN, DOWN.

453. COLON CLEANSE.

454. HEAR THAT NOTE?

455. DOWN.

456. OUTSTANDING.

457. AND THEY ARE MILES.

458. THIS IS GONNA LAST?

459. A BATHROOM PRETTY SOON.

460. IT'S REALLY, LIKE...

461. HEY, WHAT'S THE DEAL HERE, ARE WE EVEN MOVING?

462. ARE WE MOVING?

463. SUPPOSED TO TAKE?

464. DO YOU KNOW?

465. I GOT NEWS FOR YOU, WE'RE NOT EVEN MOVING.

466. IN THIS THING?

467. WE'RE NOT MOVING.

468. HEY!

469. HELLO?

470. HEY!

471. HEY!

472. LARRY, SERIOUSLY.

473. HEY!

474. BANG ON YOUR WINDOW.

475. HEY!

476. OH, MY GOD.

477. SERIOUSLY, I'M SERIOUSLY STARTING TO...

478. IT'S GETTING TO THE POINT OF AN EMERGENCY.

479. I CAN'T BE IN THIS CAR FOR MUCH LONGER, I CAN'T...

480. HEY!

481. HEY!

482. WAIT A SECOND.

483. OH, MY GOD.

484. INFORMATION.

485. SERIOUSLY.

486. I'LL GET THEM ON THE PHONE.

487. I'M GETTING SWEATY.

488. I GOT TO GO, I REALLY GOT TO GO.

489. ALRIGHT, JUST HOLD ON A SECOND.

490. HELLO, YES, I'D LIKE THE NUMBER OF A GLEN-ROCK...

491. GLEN, GLEN-ROCK!

492. GLEN-ROCK!

493. R-O-C-K, LOS ANGELES!

494. YES, CONNECT!

495. GLEN-ROCK CAR WASH.

496. HELLO, I'M STUCK IN YOUR CAR WASH!

497. WHAT?

498. I SAID I'M STUCK IN YOUR CAR WASH!

499. IT'S AN EMERGENCY.

500. IT'S AN—

501. OFF OR SOMETHING.

502. YOUR CAR WASH!

503. I CAN'T HEAR A WORD YOU'RE SAYING.

504. YOUR CAR WASH!

505. ALRIGHT, WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?

506. CALL BACK LATER.

507. OH, GOD, LARRY, I CAN'T WAIT, I CAN'T WAIT, I GOT TO GO!

508. I GOT TO GO, I GOT TO GO, I GOT TO GO, I GOT TO GO!

509. I'M JUST SAYING SUSIE'S CRAZED, MAN.

510. ON CHERYL.

511. A CAR WASH, WHO GETS STUCK IN A CAR WASH?

512. IT'S THE TRUTH.

513. IN A CAR WASH.

514. YOU WEREN'T STUCK IN A CAR WASH.

515. AND SHE GOT OUT AND SHE WAS SOAKING WET.

516. THAT'S WHY SHE CANCELED.

517. YOU'RE TELLING ME THE TRUTH?

518. I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH.

519. I BELIEVE YOU.

520. BUT, SUSIE'S NEVER GONNA BELIEVE ANY OF THIS.

521. WELL, WHATEVER, YOU KNOW.

522. SO, LET ME ASK YOU.

523. ON THE TABLE,

524. LIKE, BEFORE PEOPLE COME IN?

525. SIT DOWN?

526. OR SOMETHING OR BREADSTICKS?

527. UM, OLIVES.

528. LIKE A PICKLE.

529. OLIVES, NO, I'M SORRY

530. RIDICULOUS, OLIVES.

531. DO WITH PIT?

532. EVER, NEVER, YOU CAN DO NOTHING WITH PIT.

533. IT'S RIDICULOUS.

534. NO, OLIVES, I'M SORRY...

535. OR AN ASH TRAY OR SOMETHING.

536. A PIT PLATE, ASH TRAY, PIT,

537. WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALL IT A GARBAGE PLATE?

538. OKAY.

539. YEAH, HE'S RIGHT.

540. ON THIS GUY, HUH?

541. HE'S A PIECE OF WORK.

542. OKAY.

543. CARROT STICKS, CELERY.

544. WHAT ABOUT LEMON, LEMON IN THE WATER?

545. THAT'S GOOD.

546. COCKSUCKER ASSHOLE!

547. I'M STARTING TO THINK THAT THAT'S INVOLUNTARY.

548. VIOLA, EVERYTHING IS FINISHED NOW.

549. IT'S PERFECT, IT'S FANTASTIC, OKAY?

550. ONE THING THAT'S,

551. OF QUALITY, HUH?

552. IT'S FANTASTIC.

553. OH, IT'S AN HONOR.

554. BYE BYE, I SEE YOU TOMORROW, YES?

555. SEE YOU TOMORROW.

556. WHAT DO THEY CALL THAT, TOURETTE'S?

557. TOURETTE'S SYNDROME.

558. WOW.

559. HE'S GOT TOURETTE'S SYNDROME.

560. PORTICO.

561. PORTICO.

562. PORTICO.

563. PORTICO.

564. FUCKING PORTICO!

565. THAT PRICK, I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

566. HE'S LAUGHING RIGHT NOW.

567. THAT MOTHERFUCKER.

568. SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON PURPOSE?

569. OF COURSE HE WOULD.

570. THE JOKE'S ON US 'CAUSE WE NEED TO FIND ANOTHER CHEF.

571. YEAH, WE GOT TO LET HIM GO.

572. WE OPEN TOMORROW, YOU WANT TO LET HIM GO?

573. IT, NO, BUT IT

574. IF THE KITCHEN WASN'T, DIDN'T LOOK OUT ONTO THE DINING ROOM.

575. IF IT WAS A, YOU KNOW...

576. HE'S ON, PRACTICALLY ON STAGE OVER THERE.

577. IT'S THE DESIGN OF THIS ROOM.

578. IT'S LIKE A FLOOR SHOW.

579. WE'RE GONNA BE KNOWN AS THE RESTAURANT,

580. THE CHEF THAT SWEARS.

581. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE, THIS'LL RUIN US.

582. WE'RE GONNA BE A LAUGHING STOCK IF WE ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN.

583. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

584. RID OF HIM.

585. NO.

586. MEAN NO?

587. WE CAN'T FIRE HIM.

588. WHY? WHY?

589. HE'S A SURVIVOR.

590. AND THEN I CALLED MARTINES, YOU KNOW THAT'S THE RESTAURANT

591. TO WORK IN NEW YORK.

592. OKAY.

593. THEIR KITCHEN WAS IN THE BACK.

594. SO, THE CURSING DIDN'T BOTHER ANYBODY.

595. TOO MUCH NOISE.

596. WORKED IN THE KITCHEN.

597. BUT OUR KITCHEN'S RIGHT IN THE FRONT.

598. HE'S GONNA BE RIGHT THERE.

599. HE'S GONNA BE CURSING UP A STORM.

600. EATING THEIR DINNER.

601. OH MY GOD.

602. AND, OF COURSE, YOU COULDN'T FIRE HIM.

603. YEAH, I'M NOT GONNA FIRE A SURVIVOR.

604. NO, YOU COULDN'T DO THAT.

605. WHOA, WOW, LOOK AT YOU!

606. IS IT TOO "KNOTTS LANDING" ?

607. I KNOW IT'S A TV SHOW BUT I DON'T GET THE REFERENCE AT ALL.

608. ANYWAY, BUT YOU LIKE IT?

609. YEAH, IT LOOKS GREAT.

610. IT'S NOT TOO DRESSY?

611. NO, I LIKE IT.

612. UM, WELL, MAYBE HE WON'T CURSE TONIGHT.

613. HE CAN'T CONTROL IT.

614. CONTROL IT.

615. I'VE SEEN HIM TWICE AND HE'S CURSED BOTH TIMES.

616. I MEAN, THE ONLY THING I DON'T GET IS

617. WHY HE DOESN'T CURSE IN FRENCH.

618. IN ENGLISH?

619. THAT MOTHERFUCKER, WHERE DID HE GET THAT FROM?

620. I DON'T KNOW.

621. COCKSUCKER.

622. STOP IT, HE DOES NOT SAY COCKSUCKER.

623. HE DOES.

624. ALL IN ENGLISH, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

625. AREN'T THERE OBSCENITIES IN FRENCH THERE THAT HE COULD SAY?

626. LISTEN, CAN I JUST TELL YOU, BEFORE WE EVEN GET THERE,

627. TO RUNNING INTO SUSIE GREEN.

628. SUSIE GREEN, YEAH.

629. SHE HATES ME.

630. HATES ME NOW.

631. SHE WON'T EVEN TALK TO ME.

632. YOU KNOW, I MEAN, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

633. UH, I WOULDN'T EVEN GO IF I WERE YOU.

634. IT'S TOO AWKWARD.

635. YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.

636. MAYBE I'LL JUST SIT IN THE CAR.

637. AW, YEAH.

638. HOW ABOUT THAT?

639. REALLY, THAT'S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.

640. ALRIGHT, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

641. OH, GEEZ.

642. WHOA!

643. WOW.

644. WOW.

645. LOOK AT THAT.

646. SEE, THERE'S A ROOM OVER THERE.

647. YEAH, THIS IS PRETTY BIG.

648. YEAH.

649. PRETTY GOOD.

650. I AM VERY IMPRESSED.

651. HUH?

652. YEAH.

653. NOT BAD. NOT BAD.

654. SEE, SEE, THE BELL, NOW, WATCH THIS.

655. WOW.

656. IT WORKS.

657. YEAH, IT WORKS.

658. HEY. HEY.

659. OH, HI.

660. WOW.

661. UH-HUH.

662. HUH?

663. IT'S HAPPENING, MY FRIEND.

664. HI, JEFF, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

665. THIS IS CHERYL.

666. THESE ARE, THESE ARE MY INVESTOR FRIENDS.

667. WOW, HI.

668. LOU, JIM, MICHAEL, TERESA.

669. PLEASURE. NICE TO MEET YOU.

670. GREAT.

671. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

672. I AM VERY IMPRESSED.

673. SHE'S A LITTLE KNOCKED OUT, I THINK.

674. I AM.

675. WHAT I EXPECTED.

676. WELL, WE COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT THE BIG GUY HERE.

677. IS THAT RIGHT?

678. HE STEPPED UP, YOU KNOW?

679. HE STEPPED UP.

680. THERE FOR AWHILE.

681. THAT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT.

682. I THINK JIM'S HAD A COUPLE OF CHAMPAGNES.

683. I THINK JIM SWANSON'S OUT OF CONTROL.

684. I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS, BUT I THINK WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT.

685. IT REALLY LOOKS GREAT.

686. IT DOES.

687. AGAIN, EAT YOUR HEART OUT, TED DANSON.

688. THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY.

689. CHEERS.

690. CHEERS, YEAH, YOU GOT IT.

691. THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

692. YEAH, CHEERS, WHERE'S YOUR WIFE?

693. OH, SHE'LL BE HERE IN A LITTLE WHILE.

694. UH-HUH.

695. AND WHAT'S GOING ON WITH GUY?

696. ANY OUTBURSTS?

697. SO FAR, SO GOOD.

698. YEAH, I HAVEN'T HEARD ANYTHING.

699. YEAH, NOT A PEEP.

700. OH, HEY, LOOK, THERE'S YOUR PARENTS.

701. HEY, THERE'S MY DAD.

702. HELLO, HEY.

703. IT'S DELICIOUS.

704. BONSOIR.

705. AW, BONSOIR, HOW ARE YOU, UH?

706. OH, TRéS BIEN, TRéS BIEN.

707. WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE A BIG SUCCESS FOR YOU.

708. OH, MY GOSH, CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

709. IT'S GIGANTIC.

710. AND YOU'RE FEELING GOOD?

711. OH, ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, I'M QUITE UPSET.

712. I'M VERY UPSET.

713. REALLY?

714. YES, I LOST THE LOTTERY BY ONE NUMBER ONLY.

715. ONE NUMBER?

716. YES, ONE!

717. YES, LOOK AT THAT, I WAS ONE NUMBER OFF IN THE LOTTERY.

718. SEVEN, ONE.

719. HERE, I HAVE FOUR, ONE.

720. WHAT'S THE POINT, HUH?

721. IT'S ALL RIGGED, ANYWAY, I'M QUITE SURE OF THAT, HUH?

722. HEY, TURN THAT DOWN.

723. ARE DOING, COOKING A GOAT?

724. HEY, THANK YOU.

725. CONGRATULATIONS.

726. LET'S GET THAT WAITER.

727. FUCKHEAD, SHITFACE, COCKSUCKER, ASSHOLE, SONOFABITCH!

728. MAYBE ONE DAY, I'LL GET

729. FOR SOMEBODY LIKE THAT.

730. SCUM-SUCKING, MOTHERFUCKING WHORE.

731. COCK, COCK, JISM!

732. GRANDMA, COCK!

733. BUM, FUCK, TURD, FART.

734. CUNT, PISS, SHIT, BUGGER AND BALLS!

735. DAMN IT, HELL, CRAP, SHIT!

736. MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!

737. FUCK YOU, YOU CAR WASH CUNT!

738. APPOINTMENT!

739. FELLATIO, CUNNILINGUS, FRENCH KISSING.

740. RIM JOB.

741. RIGHT, PISS.

742. FUCKING, FUCKING, FUCK, FUCK.

743. SCHMUCK, FUCKS, LIKE DUNGY WHACKER.

744. PUSSY, BIG FUCKER.

745. BALLS.

746. BOYCOTT, GIRLCOTT, E-I-E-I-O.

747. FUCK WHORE!

749. A Division of TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.

750. Captioned by