1. Good morning.Copy !req
2. No.Copy !req
3. Larry, no.Copy !req
4. - No, what? What are you talking about?
- Didn't you just wear that jacket yesterday?Copy !req
5. Yeah, I'm wearing the exact same outfit.Copy !req
6. I didn't feel like going through...Copy !req
7. that whole decision process
of picking out an outfit.Copy !req
8. It's awful.Copy !req
9. You know what?
I think it's time to get rid of it.Copy !req
10. What're you talking about?
What's the matter with it?Copy !req
11. Everything. Look at it, it's maroon.Copy !req
12. - Maroon, yeah.
- It's got...Copy !req
13. - You think that's a good look?
- I think it's a good color for me, yeah.Copy !req
14. - It's not.
- What?Copy !req
15. Why don't you just take it off...Copy !req
16. because I'm getting some clothes together
for that homeless guy...Copy !req
17. that hangs out by the gas station?Copy !req
18. I've had this jacket
since I started doing, since Seinfeld.Copy !req
19. - Yeah, I believe you.
- This is my show night jacket.Copy !req
20. - I wore this on show night.
- Okay, great.Copy !req
21. But you know, it's really time...Copy !req
22. to update your wardrobe a little,
don't you think?Copy !req
23. What? Get the hell out of here!Copy !req
24. - Listen.
- What are you...Copy !req
25. This will be quick and painless.
There you go.Copy !req
26. Richard Lewis is in your office.Copy !req
27. So, I'm not gonna be around this weekend...Copy !req
28. in case you wanna get in touch
with me for some reason.Copy !req
29. - Where you going?
- I'm going to Monterey.Copy !req
30. - That's nice.
- Yeah, Cheryl's sister is getting married.Copy !req
31. - Becky's getting married? Really?
- Yeah, to a Jew. Marrying a Jew.Copy !req
32. Really? So am l.
They make the best husbands.Copy !req
33. And he's converting.Copy !req
34. He's getting baptized
and the whole thing, whatever.Copy !req
35. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
36. But, you know what?Copy !req
37. I'll leave you the number
where I'm gonna be staying...Copy !req
38. - just in case anything comes up.
- Okay.Copy !req
39. I came up here for the tape,
and thank you, but l...Copy !req
40. God, I hate doing this, 'cause, you know,
you always take it the wrong way.Copy !req
41. You take everything the wrong way,
ever since I've known you.Copy !req
42. Seven years ago,
I was in Paris, and I remember it exactly—Copy !req
43. Forget Paris!Copy !req
44. All right, you stole my outgoing message
on my answering machine.Copy !req
45. What, are you crazy? What, are you nuts?Copy !req
46. I know you're ethical, I'm ethical.Copy !req
47. You know, when people steal jokes,
we fucking hate that.Copy !req
48. But I hate when people
fucking steal my outgoing messages.Copy !req
49. You don't even know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
50. You have my same
answering machine outgoing message...Copy !req
51. and it bugs me!Copy !req
52. - That's my message!
- I wrote it in Paris!Copy !req
53. You wrote it in Paris?
I had that message seven years ago!Copy !req
54. - Bullshit!
- Seven years...Copy !req
55. I wrote it seven and a half years ago!Copy !req
56. Whose word are you gonna trust, okay?Copy !req
57. An ex-alcoholic's,
or a person who was lucid 24 hours a day...Copy !req
58. his whole life?Copy !req
59. - Do me a favor?
- What?Copy !req
60. - Please change it.
- What?Copy !req
61. 'Cause it's really bothering me.Copy !req
62. I want you to change that
'cause people call me...Copy !req
63. and they call you, and they go,
"Larry David has the same thing."Copy !req
64. So I say, "It's not Larry David's, it's mine."Copy !req
65. I don't have a wife,
I don't have, you know...Copy !req
66. My parents are dead. You have a family.Copy !req
67. Come on, change it. Can you... Come on.Copy !req
68. He doesn't have a wife,
and his parents are dead.Copy !req
69. That's right. I hold onto these things, man.Copy !req
70. Doesn't have a wife,
and his parents are dead.Copy !req
71. Do me a favor and change it for me.Copy !req
72. Yeah, I'll change it,
because you don't have a wife...Copy !req
73. and your parents, you lost your parents.Copy !req
74. I'm laughing, 'cause you're funny.Copy !req
75. And they would've been 95,
but they're dead.Copy !req
76. - I'm laughing but if you don't change it—
- It's a shame.Copy !req
77. Are you done?Copy !req
78. Yeah, I'm done.
I didn't steal your message, asshole.Copy !req
79. I didn't take it.Copy !req
80. You took it from me, but you know what?
I'll be the man.Copy !req
81. Whatever.Copy !req
82. Ridiculous.Copy !req
83. Hi, we're not in. Please leave a message
at the tone. Thank you.Copy !req
84. Fantastic.Copy !req
85. - What's wrong with that?
- What's wrong? It's because it's not fair.Copy !req
86. - At least it's an admission of guilt.
- It's not an admission of guilt.Copy !req
87. How's that an admission of guilt?
I was the man.Copy !req
88. I'm a big man. I'm a big, expansive man.Copy !req
89. You're a small, petty man.Copy !req
90. Don't change that.Copy !req
91. I remember when you made that message.
I thought it was very funny.Copy !req
92. You know, so then to show
that I was the man...Copy !req
93. I changed the message
right in front of him in the office.Copy !req
94. - From the office?
- Yeah.Copy !req
95. I didn't know
you could change your outgoing message.Copy !req
96. - Yeah, it was easy.
- I thought you had to be here.Copy !req
97. What do I got to take?
Do I need a traveling outfit?Copy !req
98. Yes, you need a traveling outfit,
you need something for the baptism.Copy !req
99. - So, we're probably—
- What is a baptism anyway?Copy !req
100. - You don't know what a baptism is?
- I have no idea.Copy !req
101. - Something to do with water?
- Yeah.Copy !req
102. I can't believe
you don't know what a baptism is.Copy !req
103. - I don't know what it is.
- You'll find out tomorrow, firsthand.Copy !req
104. You're gonna witness the whole thing.Copy !req
105. What does the average gentile
wear to a baptism?Copy !req
106. - Something...
- Blue blazer and a red tie and a white shirt?Copy !req
107. - Yeah, do you have that?
- My St. Anthony's...Copy !req
108. Khakis and a blue blazer
would be wonderful.Copy !req
109. - And then something for the wedding?
- Then something for the wedding.Copy !req
110. - Then the next day?
- Yes.Copy !req
111. Boy, this is rough.Copy !req
112. This guy's converting.Copy !req
113. Why is he doing that?Copy !req
114. You guys come to our side,
we don't go to your side.Copy !req
115. Yeah. Jews don't convert.
I'm really surprised.Copy !req
116. You know what? if he didn't convert,
she wouldn't marry him.Copy !req
117. I know that about Becky. She's very...Copy !req
118. She's very passionate about her religion.Copy !req
119. Why do Christians take
everything so personally...Copy !req
120. with Christ, you know?Copy !req
121. It's like, not only
do you have to worship him...Copy !req
122. you want everybody to.Copy !req
123. It's like, I like lobster.
Do I go around pushing lobster on people?Copy !req
124. Do I say,
"You must like lobsters, eat lobster.Copy !req
125. "It's good, it's good"?
You know, it's not only where you live.Copy !req
126. You go to Africa,
you travel all over the world.Copy !req
127. "Eat lobster, have some more lobster,
it's good."Copy !req
128. - I don't really think it's—
- "We want you to have lobster!"Copy !req
129. Lobster and religion,
I really don't see the similarities.Copy !req
130. What time is the car
picking us up in the morning?Copy !req
131. I'm gonna drive.Copy !req
132. - Let's just take—
- No, I don't wanna take that car service.Copy !req
133. They never show up,
they're not dependable.Copy !req
134. Then we have to find a parking space
when we get to the airport.Copy !req
135. We'll leave early, that's okay.Copy !req
136. - Look at all this.
- That's too much stuff.Copy !req
137. Come on, honey, let's get going!Copy !req
138. I can't find the tickets.Copy !req
139. When was the last time you had them?Copy !req
140. My office.Copy !req
141. I left them in the office.Copy !req
142. Shit.Copy !req
143. That's okay, we got time.Copy !req
144. It's all right, we have time.
We got up early enough.Copy !req
145. They're not there.Copy !req
146. And I know where they are.Copy !req
147. Yesterday, when I pressed
the security code to get into my office...Copy !req
148. there was this creepy guy
and he was watching me...Copy !req
149. and he saw me press every number.Copy !req
150. I'll bet you he got into that office.
I knew it. He was standing there...Copy !req
151. and I knew something was gonna happen.Copy !req
152. Somebody came into your office
and stole airline tickets to Monterey?Copy !req
153. I knew I should've said
something to the supervisor.Copy !req
154. Why would somebody
steal tickets to Monterey?Copy !req
155. Why not? Monterey's a beautiful place.Copy !req
156. Was anything else stolen?
Was anything else gone?Copy !req
157. I don't know, I wasn't paying attention.Copy !req
158. All our information is on there,
our address, our phone number.Copy !req
159. He's not gonna break into our house,
he's going to Monterey.Copy !req
160. This is ridiculous.Copy !req
161. I'll call the airline
and tell them what happened.Copy !req
162. He can't get on the plane
with our tickets, can he?Copy !req
163. Why can't he? It's a ticket.Copy !req
164. He hands them the ticket,
he walks on the plane. Call the airline.Copy !req
165. No, I don't think it works like that.
I don't know.Copy !req
166. All right, just tell them what's going on.Copy !req
167. Okay. Hi. Yes, AirWest?Copy !req
168. Thank you.Copy !req
169. They're connecting.Copy !req
170. Hi, my name is Cheryl David and I'm...Copy !req
171. I'm on hold.Copy !req
172. Well? What?Copy !req
173. I'm still on hold, Larry.
How are we doing on time?Copy !req
174. I don't know. We'll make it, I think.Copy !req
175. Hi, yes.Copy !req
176. We're on our way to the airport right now,
our tickets have been stolen.Copy !req
177. Somebody's gonna get
on the plane with our tickets.Copy !req
178. No...Copy !req
179. They just put me on hold.Copy !req
180. They're gonna get a supervisor.Copy !req
181. Look at this.Copy !req
182. Should I go to Lincoln?Copy !req
183. - Whatever you want.
- I need Lincoln approval.Copy !req
184. - I can't do it on my own, tell me.
- Then go Lincoln!Copy !req
185. There's the lot.Copy !req
186. Hi.Copy !req
187. Okay, let me just...Copy !req
188. No, because I've already spoken to you.Copy !req
189. That's what I'm saying,
I can't... You cannot help me.Copy !req
190. - No, I need a...
- Just forget it.Copy !req
191. You know what? Just forget it.
We're already here at the airport.Copy !req
192. There's no spaces.Copy !req
193. - This is unbelievable.
- Yeah, parking is hard to find at the airport.Copy !req
194. That's something new, Larry.Copy !req
195. Maybe in retrospect,
we should've taken the car service.Copy !req
196. Oh, my God.Copy !req
197. Larry, we've been down this aisle.Copy !req
198. What's this guy doing?Copy !req
199. Yeah.Copy !req
200. Excuse me, you leaving?Copy !req
201. Yeah, he's leaving.Copy !req
202. Beautiful.Copy !req
203. So I guess we'll just run to the gate...
Maybe he's already in our seat.Copy !req
204. I wonder if he brought a date.Copy !req
205. What's taking this guy so long?Copy !req
206. - What the hell is he doing?
- Nothing.Copy !req
207. Yeah, it's all right, take your time.
Nobody's waiting for you.Copy !req
208. Make a call, have a cup of coffee.Copy !req
209. And then have a nice bagel.Copy !req
210. Take a little nap.Copy !req
211. That's fine.Copy !req
212. What are you doing in there?Copy !req
213. Trade places, you can do it over here.
I'm trying to get catch a plane, sir.Copy !req
214. Get here earlier. It's not my fault.Copy !req
215. - Thanks for the tip.
- She's leaving.Copy !req
216. Good, okay.Copy !req
217. Yeah.Copy !req
218. What?Copy !req
219. - Did he not...
- Mister!Copy !req
220. if the lot's full,
why do they even let you go in?Copy !req
221. They shouldn't even give you a ticket.Copy !req
222. Gotta drive around
like an idiot for 15 minutes?Copy !req
223. God, look at that line.Copy !req
224. - What do you wanna do?
- We don't have time to stand in line.Copy !req
225. - We just can't cut right in front.
- This is an exception.Copy !req
226. We'll have to go to the front and tell her.Copy !req
227. - Go to the front?
- Yeah.Copy !req
228. We'll just explain the situation.
We don't have time, Larry, come on.Copy !req
229. - Where are you guys going?
- Hi.Copy !req
230. - Excuse me, we're in line.
- Somebody took our tickets.Copy !req
231. We've lost our tickets.Copy !req
232. I'd be happy to help you
if you step to the back of the line.Copy !req
233. We really don't have time.
I was actually on the phone—Copy !req
234. I understand that, but you need
to get to the back of the line, please.Copy !req
235. Everybody here has been waiting, okay?Copy !req
236. I will take care of you
when it's your turn, okay? Thank you.Copy !req
237. ls the plane filled up?Copy !req
238. Sir, please get to the back of the line
right now, thank you.Copy !req
239. I'm so sorry about that.
All right, where were we?Copy !req
240. You're all set.Copy !req
241. I got the guy. That's the guy.Copy !req
242. - What?
- I got the guy.Copy !req
243. Okay, you can give me the ticket.Copy !req
244. - I want the ticket.
- I don't know what you're talking about.Copy !req
245. What I'm talking about?Copy !req
246. I'm talking about the ticket
you took from my office.Copy !req
247. You memorized the building code,
entered the office.Copy !req
248. I want the ticket. I gotta get on the plane.Copy !req
249. - You got me confused with somebody else.
- I don't think so.Copy !req
250. I don't have your ticket.Copy !req
251. - Yeah, right.
- I have my own ticket.Copy !req
252. Of course you do.Copy !req
253. It's a bereavement thing, my mother's death.Copy !req
254. Right, okay, yeah.
I'd like to take a look at it, okay?Copy !req
255. - It's your ticket, right?
- You wanna see my ticket?Copy !req
256. Yeah, I do.Copy !req
257. You wanna see? Let's take a look, all right?Copy !req
258. - Yeah.
- What's the name right here?Copy !req
259. Is it your name? No, it's mine.
"Chris Darga."Copy !req
260. See, if this were yours,
it would say "Fucking Douchebag."Copy !req
261. Asshole.Copy !req
262. Sorry about your mother.Copy !req
263. Ladies and gentlemen,
AirWest flight 1459 to Monterey, California...Copy !req
264. is now boarding rows 16 through 30.Copy !req
265. Once again for all AirWest passengers,
flight 1459 to Monterey...Copy !req
266. we are boarding rows 16 through 30.Copy !req
267. I know what you did.Copy !req
268. - You talking to me?
- Yeah.Copy !req
269. - I know.
- What?Copy !req
270. - The ticket.
- What ticket?Copy !req
271. What are you talking about?Copy !req
272. The ticket right here, to Monterey.Copy !req
273. - I know, come on.
- I think you got the wrong guy.Copy !req
274. Give me the ticket back,
I won't say anything—Copy !req
275. I don't have your ticket.
What are you talking about?Copy !req
276. Come on, the ticket.Copy !req
277. Go fuck yourself.Copy !req
278. Okay.Copy !req
279. Ladies and gentlemen,
AirWest flight 1459 to Monterey...Copy !req
280. is now boarding rows one through 15.Copy !req
281. - What are you doing?
- I was looking for the guy.Copy !req
282. Did you look at these people?
Did you see anything?Copy !req
283. I don't know who you're looking for, Larry.Copy !req
284. Final boarding call for flight 1459,
non-stop to Monterey.Copy !req
285. Will all remaining passengers please board?Copy !req
286. Okay, you know,
your flight won't leave for another hour...Copy !req
287. so you have plenty of time.
We're not even boarding that yet...Copy !req
288. so just take it easy
and we'll call you when we're ready. Thanks.Copy !req
289. Hi. We lost our tickets.
We need to get on this flight right now.Copy !req
290. Somebody stole our tickets,
they're on the plane.Copy !req
291. I don't have a single ticket.
I'm completely sold out. I'm sorry.Copy !req
292. We already have tickets.Copy !req
293. The point is, somebody is in our seats, see?Copy !req
294. - I don't think that's—
- No, that's very possible—Copy !req
295. Actually, the door is closed.Copy !req
296. That means I am not legally allowed
to go back on the plane.Copy !req
297. I can get you on another flight—Copy !req
298. Somebody's sitting
in our seats on the plane.Copy !req
299. - We have tickets for that flight.
- Can I see the tickets, please?Copy !req
300. - We don't have them.
- They were stolen.Copy !req
301. I can't go on the plane, my hands are tied.Copy !req
302. But what I can do for you
is I can get you on the next flight...Copy !req
303. which will get you in at 4:00.Copy !req
304. That would not be good, actually.Copy !req
305. We would miss the baptism,
we would miss—Copy !req
306. I'm sorry.Copy !req
307. We're trying to go to a wedding,
and we need to be there in a few hours—Copy !req
308. I have an idea, I think I can actually...
Maybe this will work.Copy !req
309. I don't have another flight to Monterey...Copy !req
310. but I can send you through San Francisco.
10:30, it would get you into San Francisco.Copy !req
311. It's only an hour flight.Copy !req
312. You can rent a car to Monterey.
It's about 100 miles.Copy !req
313. That'd get you in by about 2:00,
and that should work for you.Copy !req
314. Then we wouldn't miss the baptism.Copy !req
315. - Exactly.
- That's fine.Copy !req
316. I'll set that up for you.Copy !req
317. I need a credit card
and I'll get this all rolling for you.Copy !req
318. Larry, give her your credit card.Copy !req
319. - You got the cell phone?
- Yeah.Copy !req
320. I wanna call Richard Lewis.
I want you to corroborate this message.Copy !req
321. - That is so ridiculous.
- Why is it ridiculous?Copy !req
322. That is such a funny message.Copy !req
323. How did you ever come up
with something like that?Copy !req
324. You are so clever.
I'm sitting here with my wife...Copy !req
325. and I believe that she can shed some light
on this controversy.Copy !req
326. - So, just hold on.
- No, I don't wanna do that.Copy !req
327. - Come on, Cheryl.
- Stop it.Copy !req
328. I don't want to do it, Larry.
I don't feel like doing that right now.Copy !req
329. She'll talk to you in person.Copy !req
330. She wants to discuss this in person.Copy !req
331. Okay.Copy !req
332. Flight 627 to San Francisco...Copy !req
333. Thank you.Copy !req
334. All passengers in rows 16 and higher
may board now.Copy !req
335. - All set.
- How long does it take to get to Monterey?Copy !req
336. - About two hours.
- Two hours? We can still make it.Copy !req
337. Okay. I'm gonna drive. Thank you.Copy !req
338. Jesus Christ, slow down.Copy !req
339. I'm gonna check the machine.Copy !req
340. Have you ever had a fresh grape?Copy !req
341. I've had fresh apples,
never had a fresh grape.Copy !req
342. I've never had a fresh cherry,
never had a fresh pear.Copy !req
343. Never seen a pear.
Never saw a pear outside of a fruit stand.Copy !req
344. What's going on?
The machine's not even coming on.Copy !req
345. There's no message.Copy !req
346. The message that you changed
from your office?Copy !req
347. - Yeah.
- Yeah. It's not working?Copy !req
348. - No.
- Did you check it after you changed it?Copy !req
349. No, I didn't check it,
I thought it was... I did it right.Copy !req
350. Yeah.Copy !req
351. So what?Copy !req
352. So we miss a couple of calls, big deal.Copy !req
353. This is nice country, don't you think?
Nice country up here.Copy !req
354. Maybe we should move up here.
Think we should?Copy !req
355. I think you should look at the map
and find out where we are exactly.Copy !req
356. Settle down?
Are we settled down, do you think?Copy !req
357. I mean, what do you have to be
to be settled down?Copy !req
358. We have a house, and chairs.Copy !req
359. You know, grape works as a soda,
sort of as a gum...Copy !req
360. but I wonder why it doesn't work as a pie.Copy !req
361. Grape pie? There's no grape pie.Copy !req
362. I don't know...Copy !req
363. did we think
we really needed Alaska and Hawaii?Copy !req
364. They gotta ruin everything.Copy !req
365. They ruined the continental United States.Copy !req
366. Yeah, we have a beautiful Pacific coast,
Atlantic coast...Copy !req
367. that's the continental United States.Copy !req
368. You don't need more states.
We're not the British empire.Copy !req
369. What, are they trying to turn us
into the British empire?Copy !req
370. - And what is Puerto Rico anyway?
- Please, I am trying to drive.Copy !req
371. Okay, that's three-tenths of a mile,
right there.Copy !req
372. Yeah.Copy !req
373. - So...
- I don't know.Copy !req
374. - It's gotta be around here, right?
- Is that a...Copy !req
375. - Is that a row of pines?
- I will be so mad...Copy !req
376. if we miss this. This is a row of pines.Copy !req
377. We already passed pines.Copy !req
378. - Is that a car?
- isn't that a row of pines?Copy !req
379. - Is that a car up there?
- Stupid directions.Copy !req
380. Let's just stop and get out and take a look.Copy !req
381. - It's gotta be around here.
- I don't know.Copy !req
382. Stop!Copy !req
383. No, Larry!Copy !req
384. What's going on? No! My God! Honey, kick!Copy !req
385. Jesus, get him! He can't swim!Copy !req
386. - Help!
- Get him! Hold your breath! Kick!Copy !req
387. God!Copy !req
388. Hold on!Copy !req
389. How you doing?Copy !req
390. Anybody need a change of dry clothes?Copy !req
391. - Hot bath?
- You happy about this, Larry?Copy !req
392. Is this what you had in mind?
You like this, you dick?Copy !req
393. Honey, it's fine.Copy !req
394. It's not fine.
What the hell is the matter with you?Copy !req
395. I thought that he was drowning him.
I'm sorry!Copy !req
396. Bullshit, you didn't think he was drowning,
you didn't want him to convert.Copy !req
397. - So you came screaming to stop it.
- What do I care? I don't care if he converts.Copy !req
398. That is ridiculous.
You didn't want to lose a Jew.Copy !req
399. I don't care if I lose Jews.
Take them all, I don't need them.Copy !req
400. That was the point of the baptism,
but you came and blew it.Copy !req
401. - What is that supposed to mean?
- I want you, I don't want you to be a Jew.Copy !req
402. Tell her it was an accident,
you didn't mean to interrupt.Copy !req
403. I never saw a baptism before,
I don't know what it is.Copy !req
404. - How can you not know what it is?
- I'd never been to one.Copy !req
405. I've never been to a bris,
but I know what it is.Copy !req
406. He didn't mean to interrupt you.Copy !req
407. Larry, can I have a word with you
for a second?Copy !req
408. Come here. You don't know me, Dave Levin.Copy !req
409. I'm the schmuck's brother-in-law.Copy !req
410. - What you did is a very gutsy thing.
- No, I didn't do anything.Copy !req
411. You don't have to take a bow for it,
I'm just telling you.Copy !req
412. As one Jew to another,
it's a gutsy thing to come in and step in.Copy !req
413. - I didn't even—
- A mitzvah for my family, thank you.Copy !req
414. - That's the wife.
- You did good. Excuse me, you did good.Copy !req
415. But I didn't even... I thought he was...Copy !req
416. Don't be modest about this.
You're with us now.Copy !req
417. You're with us now, all right?Copy !req
418. The question is, what do we do now?
When do we go back in?Copy !req
419. - Right.
- What do you mean, go back in?Copy !req
420. - We gotta finish it.
- Finish it? I did it. I did what I said I'd do.Copy !req
421. I got under the water, you held me under.Copy !req
422. No, you just kind of started it,
but it didn't really work.Copy !req
423. Not complete.Copy !req
424. That's not my fault,
I did what I was supposed to do.Copy !req
425. But you gotta go back in.Copy !req
426. I dunked you one time,
you need to be dunked three times.Copy !req
427. You need two more dunks.Copy !req
428. You're joking, right?
I don't want anymore dunking.Copy !req
429. Get back in, a couple of dunks, you're done.Copy !req
430. I don't wanna go back in there.
It was hard enough the first time.Copy !req
431. I like the way you told them
you've never seen a baptism before.Copy !req
432. - I've never heard of that.
- That was brilliant.Copy !req
433. You're a genius.Copy !req
434. You know, I thought
something had to be done, really.Copy !req
435. You did it. You done did it, boy.Copy !req
436. - So, I said that thing about the baptism.
- Yeah, Rabbi Akiva says it takes one man.Copy !req
437. We don't have to do it in a river.
Do you have a tub in this house?Copy !req
438. - Yes, of course, we have a tub.
- We can fill the tub up.Copy !req
439. I'll tell you what,
get me a cup of water, I'll sprinkle you.Copy !req
440. - Just a cup of water.
- I don't think it's about the river.Copy !req
441. I don't think I should be doing this.Copy !req
442. - What?
- You know what?Copy !req
443. I don't know what it's like to have a baptism,
or what you're supposed to feel...Copy !req
444. but I felt something. When I was held
under the water, I felt a revelation...Copy !req
445. like it was some sort of message from God
that I shouldn't do this.Copy !req
446. After I came out of the water,
I didn't feel like a Christian...Copy !req
447. I felt like even more of a Jew.Copy !req
448. What are you talking about?Copy !req
449. I'm just saying something happened to me
there that told me...Copy !req
450. someone or something was saying,
"Don't do this, be happy with who you are.Copy !req
451. "You're Jewish and that's okay."Copy !req
452. I need for you to be a Christian
before I marry you.Copy !req
453. Whoever steps up
and does something like that?Copy !req
454. - I feel good.
- You should.Copy !req
455. - You're amazing.
- You're a hero.Copy !req
456. Thank you.Copy !req
457. I'd like you talk
at my daughter's Bat Mitzvah.Copy !req
458. Something changed my mind for me,
makes me feel different now.Copy !req
459. - I think it was the baptism.
- Then we're not getting married.Copy !req
460. - I'm not getting baptized.
- I'm not getting married.Copy !req
461. - Okay, Sheldon, Becky—
- Larry, did you hear that?Copy !req
462. We're not getting married!
You happy now, you son of a bitch?Copy !req
463. Don't call him a son of a bitch,
he's not a son of a bitch.Copy !req
464. This man happened to do
a wonderful thing today.Copy !req
465. - What?
- What are you saying...Copy !req
466. that being a Christian
isn't a wonderful thing?Copy !req
467. - What are you insinuating?
- He's not saying that.Copy !req
468. It's wonderful for you,
we resent the recruitment.Copy !req
469. We don't need you.Copy !req
470. Everything's a big problem with you people!Copy !req
471. It's good to be home.Copy !req
472. There's my jacket,
there's the guy you gave my jacket to!Copy !req
473. Can you help me out?Copy !req
474. - Remember me? I gave you the jacket.
- Hi.Copy !req
475. That's my jacket,
it looks really good on you.Copy !req
476. I'm glad you could use it, there you go.Copy !req
477. - Thanks.
- Thank you.Copy !req
478. - Thanks again for—
- Okay, bye.Copy !req
479. Oh, dear. Yes?Copy !req
480. I found these airplane tickets.Copy !req
481. I tried to call you.
The phone number was on there.Copy !req
482. You guys don't have a phone machine?Copy !req