1. Captions made possible byCopy !req
2. A Division of TIME WARNER
ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.Copy !req
3. HEY.Copy !req
4. GOOD MORNING.Copy !req
5. NO.Copy !req
6. LARRY, NO.Copy !req
7. NO, WHAT?Copy !req
8. TALKING ABOUT?Copy !req
9. DIDN'T YOU JUST WEAR
THAT JACKET YESTERDAY?Copy !req
10. YEAH, I'M WEARING
THE EXACT SAME OUTFIT.Copy !req
11. I DIDN'T FEEL LIKECopy !req
12. OF PICKING OUT AN OUTFIT.Copy !req
13. WELL, IT'S AWFUL.Copy !req
14. YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK
IT'S TIME TO GET RID OF IT.Copy !req
15. TALKING ABOUT?Copy !req
16. WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH IT?Copy !req
17. EVERYTHING.Copy !req
18. LOOK AT IT,
IT'S...Copy !req
19. MAROON.Copy !req
20. MAROON, YEAH.Copy !req
21. YOU THINK THAT'S
A GOOD LOOK?Copy !req
22. UH, I THINK IT'S
A GOOD COLOR FOR ME, YEAH.Copy !req
23. UM, HMM,
WELL, IT'S NOT.Copy !req
24. SO, WHY DON'T YOUCopy !req
25. BECAUSE I'M GETTINGCopy !req
26. HANGS OUT BY THE GAS STATION.Copy !req
27. HEY, I'VE HAD THIS JACKET SINCE
I STARTED DOING "SEINFELD".Copy !req
28. YEAH,
I BELIEVE YOU.Copy !req
29. SHOW NIGHT JACKET.Copy !req
30. ON SHOW NIGHT.Copy !req
31. OKAY, WELL, GREAT.Copy !req
32. BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY
TIME TO UPDATE...Copy !req
33. YOUR WARDROBE A LITTLE,
DON'T YOU THINK?Copy !req
34. OUT OF HERE!Copy !req
35. LISTEN, LISTEN...Copy !req
36. QUICK AND PAINLESS,
THERE YOU GO.Copy !req
37. HEY.
HEY.Copy !req
38. IS IN YOUR OFFICE.Copy !req
39. OH, OKAY.Copy !req
40. SO, I'M NOT GOING TOCopy !req
41. WITH ME FOR SOME REASON...Copy !req
42. WHERE YOU GOING?Copy !req
43. I'M GOING TO MONTEREY.Copy !req
44. OH, THAT'S NICE.Copy !req
45. YEAH, CHERYL'S SISTER
IS GETTING MARRIED.Copy !req
46. MARRIED, REALLY?Copy !req
47. YEAH, TO A JEW.Copy !req
48. MARRYING A JEW.Copy !req
49. REALLY, WELL...Copy !req
50. SO, AM I, THEY MAKE
THE BEST HUSBANDS.Copy !req
51. AND HE'S CONVERTING.Copy !req
52. HE'S GETTING BAPTIZED
AND THE WHOLE THING, WHATEVER.Copy !req
53. REALLY?Copy !req
54. WOW.Copy !req
55. BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT,Copy !req
56. I'LL LEAVE YOU THE NUMBER
WHERE I'M GOING TO BE STAYINGCopy !req
57. COMES UP.Copy !req
58. OKAY.Copy !req
59. I CAME UP HERE FOR THE PAPER,
THANK YOU, BUT I...Copy !req
60. OH GOD, I HATE DOING THIS,
'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,Copy !req
61. THE WRONG WAY.Copy !req
62. I'VE KNOWN YOU.Copy !req
63. AND I REMEMBER IT EXACTLY...Copy !req
64. FORGET PARIS!Copy !req
65. ALRIGHT, YOU STOLE MY OUTGOING
MESSAGE ON MY ANSWERING MACHINE.Copy !req
66. WHAT,
ARE YOU CRAZY?Copy !req
67. WHAT,
ARE YOU NUTS?Copy !req
68. I KNOW YOU'RE ETHICAL,
I'M ETHICAL.Copy !req
69. WHEN PEOPLE STEAL JOKES,
WE FUCKING HATE THAT.Copy !req
70. STEAL MY OUTGOING MESSAGES.Copy !req
71. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.Copy !req
72. OUTGOING MESSAGE,Copy !req
73. AND IT BUGS ME.Copy !req
74. THAT'S MY MESSAGE!Copy !req
75. IN PARIS!Copy !req
76. YOU WROTE IT IN PARIS, I HAD
THAT MESSAGE SEVEN YEARS AGO.Copy !req
77. BULLSHIT!Copy !req
78. AND A HALF YEARS AGO!Copy !req
79. WHO'S WORD ARE YOU
GOING TO TRUST, OKAY?Copy !req
80. WHO WAS LUCID 24 HOURS A DAYCopy !req
81. HIS WHOLE LIFE?Copy !req
82. DO ME A FAVOR?Copy !req
83. WHAT?Copy !req
84. PLEASE CHANGE IT.Copy !req
85. WHAT?Copy !req
86. 'CAUSE IT'S REALLY
BOTHERING ME.Copy !req
87. AND THEY GO,Copy !req
88. "WELL, LARRY DAVID
HAS THE SAME THING."Copy !req
89. IT'S NOT FUCKING
LARRY DAVID'S, IT'S MINE.Copy !req
90. I MEAN, I DON'T HAVE A WIFE,
I DON'T HAVE, YOU KNOW...Copy !req
91. MY PARENTS ARE DEAD,
YOU HAVE A FAMILY.Copy !req
92. COME ON, CHANGE,
CAN YOU, COME ON.Copy !req
93. OH, HE DOESN'T HAVE A WIFE
AND HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD.Copy !req
94. THAT'S RIGHT.Copy !req
95. I NEED, I HOLD
ONTO THESE THINGS.Copy !req
96. DOESN'T HAVE A WIFE
AND HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD.Copy !req
97. OH.Copy !req
98. AND CHANGE IT FOR ME.Copy !req
99. YEAH, I'LL CHANGE IT
BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A WIFECopy !req
100. AND YOUR PARENTS,
YOU LOST YOUR PARENTS.Copy !req
101. I'M LAUGHING, YOU KNOW WHY,
'CAUSE YOU'RE FUNNY.Copy !req
102. AND THEY WOULD'VE BEEN 95,
BUT THEY'RE DEAD.Copy !req
103. I'M LAUGHING—Copy !req
104. IT'S A SHAME.Copy !req
105. ARE YOU DONE?Copy !req
106. I DIDN'T STEAL
YOUR MESSAGE, ASSHOLE.Copy !req
107. I DIDN'T TAKE IT.Copy !req
108. YOU TOOK IT FROM ME,
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT,Copy !req
109. I'LL BE THE MAN.Copy !req
110. I'LL BE THE MAN.Copy !req
111. WHATEVER.Copy !req
112. I'LL BE THE MAN.Copy !req
113. RIDICULOUS.Copy !req
114. HI, UH, WE'RE NOT IN, PLEASE
LEAVE A MESSAGE AT THE TONE,Copy !req
115. THANK YOU.Copy !req
116. FANTASTIC.Copy !req
117. WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THAT?Copy !req
118. WHAT'S WRONG,
BECAUSE IT'S NOT FAIR.Copy !req
119. AT LEAST IT'S
AN ADMISSION OF GUILT.Copy !req
120. IT'S NOT AN ADMISSION
OF GUILT.Copy !req
121. HOW'S THAT AN ADMISSION
OF GUILT?Copy !req
122. I WAS THE MAN, IT'S NOT
AN ADMISSION OF GUILT.Copy !req
123. I'M A BIG MAN,
I'M A BIG EXPANSIVE MAN.Copy !req
124. YOU'RE A SMALL PETTY,
YOU'RE A SMALL PETTY MAN.Copy !req
125. DON'T CHANGE THAT.Copy !req
126. YOU MADE THAT MESSAGE.Copy !req
127. WAS VERY FUNNY.Copy !req
128. OH, SO THEN TO SHOW THAT,
YOU KNOW, I WAS THE MAN,Copy !req
129. IN FRONT OF HIM IN THE OFFICE.Copy !req
130. FROM THE OFFICE?Copy !req
131. YEAH.Copy !req
132. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD
CHANGE YOUR OUTGOING MESSAGE.Copy !req
133. YEAH, IT WAS EASY.Copy !req
134. TO BE HERE.Copy !req
135. NO, SO, WHAT DO
I GOT TO TAKE?Copy !req
136. A TRAVELING OUTFIT?Copy !req
137. UH, YES, YOU NEED
A TRAVELING OUTFIT,Copy !req
138. FOR THE BAPTISM,Copy !req
139. SO, WE'RE PROBABLY—Copy !req
140. A BAPTISM ANYWAY?Copy !req
141. YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT A BAPTISM IS?Copy !req
142. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS,
SOMETHING TO DO WITH WATER?Copy !req
143. YEAH, YEAH.Copy !req
144. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T
KNOW WHAT A BAPTISM IS.Copy !req
145. WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT IS.Copy !req
146. WELL, YOU'LL FIND OUT
TOMORROW, FIRST HAND.Copy !req
147. YOU'RE GOING TO WITNESS
THE WHOLE THING.Copy !req
148. GENTILE WEAR TO A BAPTISM?Copy !req
149. SOMETHING, UH...Copy !req
150. AND A WHITE SHIRT?Copy !req
151. YEAH, DO YOU HAVE THAT?Copy !req
152. MY ST. ANTHONY'S—Copy !req
153. WOULD BE WONDERFUL.Copy !req
154. AND THEN A WEDDING,
SOMETHING FOR THE WEDDING?Copy !req
155. FOR THE WEDDING.Copy !req
156. YES.
THEN THE NEXT DAY.Copy !req
157. BOY, THIS IS ROUGH.Copy !req
158. THIS GUY'S CONVERTING.Copy !req
159. WHY IS HE
DOING THAT?Copy !req
160. YOU GUYS COME TO OUR SIDE,
WE DON'T GO TO YOUR SIDE.Copy !req
161. YEAH.Copy !req
162. JEWS DON'T CONVERT,
I'M REALLY SURPRISED.Copy !req
163. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT,
IF HE DIDN'T CONVERT,Copy !req
164. SHE WOULDN'T
MARRY HIM.Copy !req
165. I KNOW THAT ABOUT BECKY,Copy !req
166. SHE'S VERY PASSIONATE
ABOUT HER RELIGION.Copy !req
167. WITH CHRIST, YOU KNOW?Copy !req
168. IT'S LIKE, IT'S NOT ONLY
DO YOU HAVE TO WORSHIP HIM,Copy !req
169. YOU WANT EVERYBODY TO.Copy !req
170. IT'S LIKE,
I LIKE LOBSTER.Copy !req
171. LOBSTER ON PEOPLE?Copy !req
172. DO I SAY, YOU MUST
LIKE LOBSTERS, EAT LOBSTER,Copy !req
173. IT'S GOOD, IT'S GOOD.Copy !req
174. IT'S NOT ONLY
WHERE YOU LIVE.Copy !req
175. YOU GO TO AFRICA, YOU TRAVEL
ALL OVER THE WORLD,Copy !req
176. GET, EAT LOBSTER, HAVE SOME
MORE LOBSTER, IT'S GOOD.Copy !req
177. I DON'T REALLY
THINK IT'S...Copy !req
178. TO HAVE LOBSTER!Copy !req
179. LOBSTER AND RELIGION,Copy !req
180. I REALLY DON'T SEE
THE SIMILARITIES.Copy !req
181. HEY, WHAT TIME IS THE CAR
PICKING US UP IN THE MORNING?Copy !req
182. UH, I'M GOING TO DRIVE.Copy !req
183. NO, LET'S JUSTCopy !req
184. NO, I DON'T WANT TO
TAKE THAT CAR SERVICE,Copy !req
185. AND THEY'RE NOT DEPENDABLE.Copy !req
186. AT THE AIRPORT.Copy !req
187. WE'LL LEAVE EARLY,
THAT'S OKAY.Copy !req
188. LOOK AT ALL THIS.Copy !req
189. THAT'S TOO
MUCH STUFF.Copy !req
190. COME ON, HONEY,
LET'S GET GOING!Copy !req
191. I CAN'T FIND
THE TICKETS.Copy !req
192. YOU HAD THEM?Copy !req
193. MY OFFICE.Copy !req
194. IN THE OFFICE.Copy !req
195. OH.Copy !req
196. SHIT.Copy !req
197. THAT'S OKAY,
WE GOT TIME.Copy !req
198. THAT'S OKAY.Copy !req
199. IT'S ALRIGHT, WE HAVE TIME,
WE GOT UP EARLY ENOUGH.Copy !req
200. THEY'RE NOT THERE
AND I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.Copy !req
201. TO GET INTO MY OFFICE,Copy !req
202. AND HE WAS,Copy !req
203. AND HE SAW MECopy !req
204. AND I'LL BET YOU HE GOT
INTO THAT OFFICE.Copy !req
205. I KNEW IT, HE WASCopy !req
206. THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.Copy !req
207. SO, SOMEBODY CAMECopy !req
208. TICKETS TO MONTEREY?Copy !req
209. THAT GUY,
THERE WAS SOMETHING,Copy !req
210. I KNEW I SHOULD'VECopy !req
211. STEAL TICKETS TO MONTEREY?Copy !req
212. WHY NOT? MONTEREY'S
A BEAUTIFUL PLACE.Copy !req
213. ELSE STOLEN?Copy !req
214. ELSE GONE?Copy !req
215. I DON'T KNOW,
I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION.Copy !req
216. YOU KNOW, ALL OUR
INFORMATION IS ON THERE,Copy !req
217. OUR ADDRESS,
OUR PHONE NUMBER.Copy !req
218. HE'S NOT GONNA
BREAK INTO OUR HOUSE,Copy !req
219. HE'S GOING
TO MONTEREY.Copy !req
220. OKAY, THIS IS
RIDICULOUS.Copy !req
221. I'M GONNA CALL THE AIRLINE
AND TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED.Copy !req
222. HE CAN'T JUST GET ON THE PLANE
WITH OUR TICKETS, CAN HE?Copy !req
223. WHY CAN'T HE?Copy !req
224. HE JUST HANDS THEM THE TICKET,
HE WALKS ON THE PLANE.Copy !req
225. CALL THE AIRLINE.Copy !req
226. I DON'T THINK
IT WORKS LIKE THAT.Copy !req
227. ALRIGHT, JUST TELL
THEM WHAT'S GOING ON.Copy !req
228. OKAY.Copy !req
229. HI, YES, AIRWEST?Copy !req
230. THANK YOU.Copy !req
231. THEY'RE CONNECTING ME.Copy !req
232. HI, MY NAME IS CHERYL DAVID
AND I'M—Copy !req
233. I'M ON HOLD.Copy !req
234. WELL, WHAT?Copy !req
235. I'M STILL ON HOLD, LARRY,
HOW ARE WE DOING ON TIME?Copy !req
236. I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
237. WE'LL MAKE IT,
I THINK.Copy !req
238. OH, HI, YES,Copy !req
239. WE'RE ON OUR WAY
TO THE AIRPORT RIGHT NOW,Copy !req
240. BEEN STOLEN...Copy !req
241. SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET ON
THE PLANE WITH OUR TICKETS...Copy !req
242. NO, NO, NO, NO—Copy !req
243. PUT ME ON HOLD.Copy !req
244. THEY'RE GONNA
GET A SUPERVISOR.Copy !req
245. LOOK AT THIS,
LOOK AT THIS.Copy !req
246. TO LINCOLN?Copy !req
247. I NEED LINCOLN APPROVAL, I JUST
CAN'T DO IT ON MY OWN, TELL ME.Copy !req
248. THEN GO LINCOLN!Copy !req
249. OH, THERE'S THE LOT.Copy !req
250. HI.Copy !req
251. OKAY, LET ME JUST—Copy !req
252. NO, NO, BECAUSE
I'VE ALREADY SPOKEN TO YOU.Copy !req
253. THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING,
I CAN'T, YOU, YOU,Copy !req
254. YOU CANNOT HELP ME,
I, NO, I NEED A—Copy !req
255. OH, JUST FORGET IT.Copy !req
256. YOU KNOW WHAT,
JUST FORGET IT,Copy !req
257. WE'RE ALREADY HERE
AT THE AIRPORT.Copy !req
258. THERE'S NO SPACES.Copy !req
259. WELL, HMM.Copy !req
260. UNBELIEVABLE.Copy !req
261. YEAH, PARKING IS HARD
TO FIND AT THE AIRPORT.Copy !req
262. THAT'S SOMETHING NEW,
LARRY.Copy !req
263. WELL, MAYBE IN RETROSPECT
WE SHOULD'VE TAKEN
THE CAR SERVICE.Copy !req
264. OH, MY GOD.Copy !req
265. LARRY, WE'VE BEEN
DOWN THIS AISLE.Copy !req
266. WHAT'S THIS
GUY DOING?Copy !req
267. WHAT'S THIS GUY?Copy !req
268. YEAH.Copy !req
269. EXCUSE ME,
YOU LEAVING?Copy !req
270. YEAH, HE'S LEAVING.Copy !req
271. YEAH.Copy !req
272. BEAUTIFUL.Copy !req
273. SO, I GUESS WE'LLCopy !req
274. HE'S ALREADY IN OUR SEAT.Copy !req
275. HE BROUGHT A DATE.Copy !req
276. WHAT'S TAKING
THIS GUY SO LONG?Copy !req
277. IS HE DOING?Copy !req
278. NOTHING.Copy !req
279. YEAH, IT'S ALRIGHT,
TAKE YOUR TIME.Copy !req
280. TAKE YOUR TIME,
NOBODY IS WAITING FOR YOU.Copy !req
281. MAKE A CALL,
HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE.Copy !req
282. I MEAN, HAVE
A NICE BAGEL.Copy !req
283. TAKE A LITTLE NAP.Copy !req
284. THAT'S FINE.Copy !req
285. DOING IN THERE?Copy !req
286. TRADE PLACES,
YOU CAN DO IT OVER HERE.Copy !req
287. I'M TRYING TO GET
CATCH A PLANE, SIR.Copy !req
288. WELL, GET HERE EARLIER,
IT'S NOT MY FAULT.Copy !req
289. THANKS FOR THE TIP.Copy !req
290. HEY, SHE'S LEAVING.Copy !req
291. OH, GOOD, OKAY.Copy !req
292. YEAH.Copy !req
293. WHAT?
HEY, HEY!Copy !req
294. DID HE NOT—Copy !req
295. HEY, MISTER!Copy !req
296. IF THE LOT'S FULL,
WHY DO THEY EVEN LET YOU GO IN?Copy !req
297. THEY SHOULDN'T EVEN
GIVE YOU A TICKET.Copy !req
298. LIKE AN IDIOT FOR 15 MINUTES?Copy !req
299. OH, GOD,
LOOK AT THAT LINE.Copy !req
300. WELL, WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO?Copy !req
301. WE DON'T HAVE TIME
TO STAND IN LINE.Copy !req
302. WE JUST CAN'T
CUT RIGHT IN FRONT.Copy !req
303. THIS IS AN EXCEPTION,Copy !req
304. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO JUST GO
TO THE FRONT AND TELL HER.Copy !req
305. GO TO THE FRONT?Copy !req
306. WE'LL JUST EXPLAIN
THE SITUATION.Copy !req
307. WE DON'T HAVE TIME,
LARRY, COME ON.Copy !req
308. HI.Copy !req
309. EXCUSE ME,
WE'RE IN LINE.Copy !req
310. WE LOST OUR TICKETS.Copy !req
311. I'D BE HAPPY TO HELP YOU
TO THE BACK OF THE LINE.Copy !req
312. WE REALLY DON'T
HAVE TIME.Copy !req
313. I UNDERSTAND THAT, MA'AM,Copy !req
314. THE LINE, PLEASE.Copy !req
315. BEEN WAITING, OKAY?Copy !req
316. WHEN IT'S RETURN, OKAY?Copy !req
317. THANK YOU.Copy !req
318. FILLED UP?Copy !req
319. SIR, PLEASE GET TO THE BACK OF
THE LINE RIGHT NOW, THANK YOU.Copy !req
320. I'M SO SORRY
ABOUT THAT.Copy !req
321. ALRIGHT,
WHERE WERE WE?Copy !req
322. YOU'RE ALL SET.Copy !req
323. BECAUSE IT'S A SHORT TRIP...Copy !req
324. I GOT THE GUY.Copy !req
325. THAT'S THE GUY.Copy !req
326. WHAT?Copy !req
327. I GOT THE GUY.Copy !req
328. OKAY, YOU CAN GIVE ME
THE TICKET, OKAY?Copy !req
329. I WANT THE TICKET.Copy !req
330. I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.Copy !req
331. WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT,
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE TICKETCopy !req
332. MY OFFICE, OKAY?Copy !req
333. YEAH, YOU MEMORIZED
THE BUILDING CODE.Copy !req
334. I GOTTA GET ON THE PLANE,
I GOT A WEDDING.Copy !req
335. WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.Copy !req
336. NO, I DON'T
THINK I DO.Copy !req
337. I DON'T HAVE
YOUR TICKET, OKAY?Copy !req
338. I HAVE MY OWN TICKET.Copy !req
339. YOU DO, YEAH.Copy !req
340. IT'S A BEREAVEMENT THING,
MY MOTHER'S DEATH.Copy !req
341. YEAH, RIGHT,
OKAY, YEAH.Copy !req
342. I'D LIKE TO TAKE
A LOOK AT IT, OKAY?Copy !req
343. YEAH, IT'S YOUR
TICKET RIGHT?Copy !req
344. MY TICKET?Copy !req
345. YEAH, I DO, YEAH.Copy !req
346. OKAY, YOU WANT TO SEE?
LET'S TAKE A LOOK, ALRIGHT?Copy !req
347. YEAH, YEAH.Copy !req
348. WHAT'S THE NAME
RIGHT HERE?Copy !req
349. IS IT YOUR NAME,
NO, IT'S MINE.Copy !req
350. CHRIS DARGA.Copy !req
351. SEE, IF THIS
WERE YOURS,Copy !req
352. "FUCKING DOUCHEBAG".Copy !req
353. ASSHOLE.Copy !req
354. YOUR MOTHER.Copy !req
355. Ladies and gentleman,Copy !req
356. AirWest, Flight 1459
to Monterey, California,Copy !req
357. is now boarding
rows 16 through 30.Copy !req
358. Once again,
for all AirWest passengers,Copy !req
359. flight 1459
to Monterey,Copy !req
360. we are boarding
rows 16 through 30.Copy !req
361. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.Copy !req
362. YOU TALKING TO ME?Copy !req
363. YEAH.Copy !req
364. I KNOW.Copy !req
365. WHAT?Copy !req
366. WHAT TICKET?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?Copy !req
367. THE TICKET, THE TICKET,
RIGHT HERE, TO MONTEREY,Copy !req
368. I KNOW, COME ON.Copy !req
369. THE WRONG GUY.Copy !req
370. WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME
THE TICKET BACK,Copy !req
371. I WON'T EVENCopy !req
372. I DON'T HAVE YOUR TICKET,
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?Copy !req
373. COME ON,
THE TICKET.Copy !req
374. GO FUCK YOURSELF.Copy !req
375. OKAY, OKAY.Copy !req
376. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
377. AirWest Flight 1459
to MontereyCopy !req
378. is now boarding
rows one through 15...Copy !req
379. YOU DOING?Copy !req
380. FOR THE GUY.Copy !req
381. DID YOU LOOK AT THESE PEOPLE,
DID YOU SEE ANYTHING?Copy !req
382. I DON'T KNOW WHO
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, LARRY.Copy !req
383. Final boarding call
for flight 1459,Copy !req
384. non-stop to Monterey,Copy !req
385. will all remaining passengers
please board.Copy !req
386. OKAY, YOU KNOW,Copy !req
387. LEAVE FOR ANOTHER HOUR,Copy !req
388. SO, YOU HAVECopy !req
389. AND WE'RE NOT EVEN
BOARDING THAT YET,Copy !req
390. SO, JUST TAKE IT EASY
AND WE'LL CALL YOU
WHEN WE'RE READY, OKAY?Copy !req
391. THANKS.Copy !req
392. HI.Copy !req
393. HI.Copy !req
394. WE LOST OUR TICKETS,Copy !req
395. ON THIS FLIGHT RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
396. SOMEBODY STOLE OUR TICKETS,
THEY'RE ON THE PLANE.Copy !req
397. I DON'T HAVE
A SINGLE TICKET,Copy !req
398. I'M COMPLETELY SOLD OUT,
I'M SORRY.Copy !req
399. HAVE TICKETS.Copy !req
400. THE POINT IS,Copy !req
401. IN OUR SEATS, SEE?Copy !req
402. I DON'T
THINK THAT'S—Copy !req
403. NO, THAT'SCopy !req
404. ALLOWED TO GO BACK ON THE PLANE.Copy !req
405. SOMEBODY'S SITTING
IN OUR SEATS ON THE PLANE.Copy !req
406. FOR THAT FLIGHT.Copy !req
407. CAN I SEE
THE TICKETS, PLEASE?Copy !req
408. THEY WERE STOLEN.
WE DON'T HAVE THEM...Copy !req
409. OKAY, I CAN'T GO ON THE PLANE,
MY HANDS ARE TIED.Copy !req
410. IS I CAN GET YOUCopy !req
411. GET YOU IN AT 4:00.Copy !req
412. BE GOOD, ACTUALLY.Copy !req
413. WE WOULD MISS THE BAPTISM,Copy !req
414. OH, I'M SORRY.Copy !req
415. YEAH, WE'RE TRYINGCopy !req
416. OKAY, I HAVE AN IDEA,Copy !req
417. OKAY, MAYBE
I THINK THIS WILL WORK.Copy !req
418. I DON'T HAVE ANOTHER
FLIGHT TO MONTEREY,Copy !req
419. THROUGH SAN FRANCISCO,Copy !req
420. 10:30, WOULD GET YOU
INTO SAN FRANCISCO,Copy !req
421. UM, IT'S ONLY
AN HOUR FLIGHT,Copy !req
422. AND JUST DRIVE TO MONTEREY,Copy !req
423. IT'S ABOUT 100 MILES.Copy !req
424. THAT'D GET YOU
BY ABOUT 2:00Copy !req
425. WORK FOR YOU.Copy !req
426. WE WOULDN'T MISS THE BAPTISM.Copy !req
427. THAT'S FINE,
WE'LL DO THAT.Copy !req
428. I'LL SET THAT UP FOR YOU,Copy !req
429. AND I'LL GET THIS
ALL ROLLING FOR YOU.Copy !req
430. LARRY, GIVE HER
YOUR CREDIT CARD.Copy !req
431. HEY, YOU GOT
THE CELL PHONE?Copy !req
432. RICHARD LEWIS,Copy !req
433. CORROBORATE THIS MESSAGE.Copy !req
434. RIDICULOUS.Copy !req
435. WHY, WHY IS
IT RIDICULOUS?Copy !req
436. HA HA, THAT IS SUCH
A FUNNY MESSAGE,Copy !req
437. WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT?Copy !req
438. YOU ARE SO CLEVER.Copy !req
439. HEY, I'M SITTING HERECopy !req
440. SOME LIGHT ON THIS CONTROVERSY.Copy !req
441. SO, JUST HOLD ON.Copy !req
442. NO, I DON'T
WANT TO DO THAT.Copy !req
443. COME ON, CHERYL.
I DON'T WANT
TO DO THAT.Copy !req
444. I DON'T WANT
TO DO IT, LARRY.Copy !req
445. I DON'T FEEL LIKE
DOING THAT RIGHT NOW.Copy !req
446. UM, SHE'LL TALK
TO YOU IN PERSON.Copy !req
447. DISCUSS THIS IN PERSON.Copy !req
448. OKAY.Copy !req
449. Flight 627 to San Francisco...Copy !req
450. THANK YOU.Copy !req
451. THANK YOU.
YEAH.Copy !req
452. ALL SET.Copy !req
453. UM, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE
TO GET TO MONTEREY?Copy !req
454. ABOUT TWO HOURS.Copy !req
455. MAKE IT.Copy !req
456. ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA DRIVE,
I'M GONNA DRIVE, THANK YOU.Copy !req
457. JESUS CHRIST,
SLOW DOWN.Copy !req
458. I'M GONNA
CHECK THE MACHINE.Copy !req
459. A FRESH GRAPE?Copy !req
460. HUH?Copy !req
461. I'VE HAD FRESH APPLES,
I'VE NEVER HAD A FRESH GRAPE.Copy !req
462. I'VE NEVER HAD A FRESH CHERRY,
NEVER HAD A FRESH PEAR,Copy !req
463. NEVER SEEN A PEAR,Copy !req
464. OUTSIDE OF A FRUIT STAND.Copy !req
465. WHAT'S GOING ON,
THE MACHINE'S NOT
EVEN COMING ON.Copy !req
466. THERE'S NO MESSAGE.Copy !req
467. FROM YOUR OFFICE?Copy !req
468. YEAH.Copy !req
469. YEAH, IT'S NOT
WORKING?Copy !req
470. NO.Copy !req
471. AFTER YOU YOU CHANGED IT?Copy !req
472. NO, I DIDN'T CHECK IT,
I THOUGHT I DID IT RIGHT.Copy !req
473. YEAH, YEAH.Copy !req
474. WELL, SO WHAT?Copy !req
475. A COUPLE OF CALLS,
BIG DEAL.Copy !req
476. THIS IS NICE COUNTRY,
DON'T YOU THINK?Copy !req
477. UP HERE.Copy !req
478. MAYBE WE SHOULD MOVE UP HERE,
THINK WE SHOULD?Copy !req
479. WHERE WE ARE EXACTLY.Copy !req
480. SETTLE DOWN,
ARE WE SETTLED DOWN,
DO YOU THINK?Copy !req
481. I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE
TO BE SETTLED DOWN?Copy !req
482. AND CHAIRS.Copy !req
483. YOU KNOW,
GRAPE WORKS AS A SODA,Copy !req
484. AS A GUM,Copy !req
485. IT DOESN'T WORK AS A PIE.Copy !req
486. GRAPE PIE,
THERE'S NO GRAPE PIE.Copy !req
487. I DON'T KNOW,Copy !req
488. NEEDED ALASKA AND HAWAII?Copy !req
489. RUIN EVERYTHING.Copy !req
490. UNITED STATES,Copy !req
491. RUINED IT.Copy !req
492. PACIFIC COAST, ATLANTIC COAST,Copy !req
493. THAT'S THE
CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES.Copy !req
494. YOU DON'T NEED
MORE STATES.Copy !req
495. WE'RE NOT
THE BRITISH EMPIRE.Copy !req
496. THEY TRYIN' TO TURN US
INTO THE BRITISH EMPIRE?Copy !req
497. PUERTO RICO ANYWAY?Copy !req
498. OKAY, PLEASE,
I AM TRYING TO DRIVE.Copy !req
499. OKAY, THAT'S 3/10ths
OF A MILE, RIGHT THERE.Copy !req
500. YEAH?Copy !req
501. SO...
I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
502. IT'S GOTTA BE
AROUND HERE, RIGHT?Copy !req
503. IS THAT A... ?Copy !req
504. I WILL BE SO MAD...Copy !req
505. IF WE MISS THIS.Copy !req
506. A ROW OF PINES.Copy !req
507. PASSED PINES.Copy !req
508. AND THAT LOOKS LIKE A CAR,
IS THAT A CAR?Copy !req
509. HEY, IS THAT
A CAR UP THERE?Copy !req
510. STUPID DIRECTIONS.Copy !req
511. LET'S JUST STOP
AND GET OUT AND TAKE A LOOK,Copy !req
512. IT'S GOTTA
BE HERE.Copy !req
513. I DON'T KNOW.Copy !req
514. STOP, STOP!Copy !req
515. NO, LARRY!Copy !req
516. NO!Copy !req
517. WHAT'S GOING ON?
NO!Copy !req
518. JESUS, GET HIM,
HE CAN'T SWIM!Copy !req
519. GET HIM!
HOLD YOUR BREATH!Copy !req
520. OH, GOD!Copy !req
521. HOLD ON!Copy !req
522. HOW YOU DOING?Copy !req
523. OF DRY CLOTHES?Copy !req
524. HOT BATH?Copy !req
525. ABOUT THIS, LARRY?Copy !req
526. YOU HAD IN MIND?Copy !req
527. YOU LIKE THIS,
YOU DICK?Copy !req
528. HONEY,
IT'S FINE.Copy !req
529. IT'S NOT FINE, WHAT THE HELL
IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?Copy !req
530. DROWNING HIM, OKAY?
I'M SORRY!Copy !req
531. BULLSHIT, YOU DIDN'T
THINK HE WAS DROWNING,Copy !req
532. YOU JUST DIDN'T
WANT HIM TO CONVERT.Copy !req
533. DOWN THE HILL TO STOP IT.Copy !req
534. WHAT DO I CARE?
I DON'T CARE IF HE CONVERTS.Copy !req
535. THAT IS RIDICULOUS.Copy !req
536. YOU DIDN'T WANT TO
LOSE A JEW AND YOU KNOW IT.Copy !req
537. I DON'T CARE
IF I LOSE JEWS.Copy !req
538. TAKE THEM ALL,
I DON'T NEED THEM.Copy !req
539. I DON'T WANT THEM.Copy !req
540. OF THE BAPTISM,Copy !req
541. AND BLEW IT.Copy !req
542. SUPPOSED TO MEAN?Copy !req
543. I WANT YOU, I DON'T
WANT YOU TO BE JEWISH.Copy !req
544. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT,
YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT.Copy !req
545. I NEVER SAW A BAPTISM BEFORE,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.Copy !req
546. WHAT A BAPTISM IS?Copy !req
547. BECAUSE I'D
NEVER BEEN TO ONE.Copy !req
548. OKAY, WELL, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO,
YOU KNOW, A BRIS,Copy !req
549. WHAT IT IS.Copy !req
550. LARRY, LARRY,Copy !req
551. LARRY...Copy !req
552. COME HERE.Copy !req
553. YOU DON'T KNOW ME,
DAVE LEVIN,Copy !req
554. I'M THE SCHMUCK'S
BROTHER-IN-LAW.Copy !req
555. LISTEN, WHAT YOU DID
IS A VERY GUTSY THING, OKAY?Copy !req
556. I'M HERE TO SAY,Copy !req
557. YOU DON'T HAVE TO
TAKE A BOW FOR IT,
I'M JUST TELLING YOU.Copy !req
558. AS ONE JEW
TO ANOTHER,Copy !req
559. IT'S A GUTSY THING
ON SOMETHING LIKE THAT.Copy !req
560. I DIDN'T EVEN—Copy !req
561. FOR MY FAMILY,
THANK YOU.Copy !req
562. YOU DID GOOD, EXCUSE ME,
YOU DID GOOD.Copy !req
563. BUT I DIDN'T EVEN,
I THOUGHT HE WAS...Copy !req
564. YOU'RE WITH US
NOW, OKAY?Copy !req
565. YOU'RE WITH US
NOW, ALRIGHT?Copy !req
566. WELL, THE QUESTION IS,
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?Copy !req
567. GO BACK IN?Copy !req
568. RIGHT.Copy !req
569. WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
GO BACK IN?Copy !req
570. FINISH IT.Copy !req
571. FINISH IT?
I DID IT.Copy !req
572. I WAS GONNA DO.Copy !req
573. I GOT UNDER THE WATER,
YOU HELD ME UNDER.Copy !req
574. NO, HONEY, YOU JUST
KIND OF STARTED IT,Copy !req
575. BUT IT DIDN'T
REALLY WORK.Copy !req
576. NOT COMPLETE.Copy !req
577. THAT'S NOT MY FAULT, I DID
WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO.Copy !req
578. GO BACK IN.Copy !req
579. I DUNKED YOU ONE TIME,Copy !req
580. THREE TIMES.Copy !req
581. TWO MORE DUNKS.Copy !req
582. YOU'RE JOKING,
NO, NO, NO MORE DUNKING,Copy !req
583. I DON'T WANT
ANYMORE DUNKING.Copy !req
584. GET BACK IN THERE,
A COUPLE OF DUNKS, YOU'RE DONE.Copy !req
585. I DON'T WANT TO
GO BACK IN THERE,Copy !req
586. THE FIRST TIME,Copy !req
587. I DON'T WANT TO
GO BACK IN THERE NOW.Copy !req
588. YOU'VE NEVER SEEN
A BAPTISM BEFORE.Copy !req
589. THAT WAS BRILLIANT,
THAT WAS BRILLIANT.Copy !req
590. YOU'RE A GENIUS,
A GENIUS.Copy !req
591. WELL, YOU KNOW,Copy !req
592. BE DONE, REALLY.Copy !req
593. YOU DID IT.Copy !req
594. DID IT, BOY.Copy !req
595. SO, I SAID THAT THING
ABOUT THE BAPTISM, AND...Copy !req
596. YEAH, RABBI AKEBA
SAYS IT TAKES ONE MAN.Copy !req
597. WE DON'T HAVE TO
DO IT IN A RIVER.Copy !req
598. IN THIS HOUSE?Copy !req
599. WELL, YES, OF COURSE,
WE HAVE A TUB.Copy !req
600. WE CAN
FILL THE TUB UP.Copy !req
601. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,Copy !req
602. GET ME A CUP OF WATER,
I'LL SPRINKLE YOU.Copy !req
603. JUST A CUP OF WATER.Copy !req
604. I DON'T THINK
IT'S ABOUT THE RIVER.Copy !req
605. I DON'T THINK
I SHOULD BE DOING THIS.Copy !req
606. WHAT?Copy !req
607. YOU KNOW WHAT?Copy !req
608. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO HAVE A BAPTISM,Copy !req
609. I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL,Copy !req
610. BUT, I FELT SOMETHING.Copy !req
611. WHEN I WENT IN THAT WATER,
WHEN I WAS HELD UNDER THERE,Copy !req
612. SORT OF REVELATION,Copy !req
613. MESSAGE FROM GOD THAT...Copy !req
614. THAT I SHOULDN'T
DO THIS.Copy !req
615. OF THE WATER,Copy !req
616. I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE A CHRISTIAN,
I FELT LIKE EVEN MORE OF A JEW.Copy !req
617. TALKING ABOUT?Copy !req
618. I'M JUST SAYING,Copy !req
619. WAS SAYING,Copy !req
620. DON'T DO THIS,
BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE,Copy !req
621. YOU'RE JEWISH
AND THAT'S OKAY.Copy !req
622. WELL, I NEED FOR YOU
BEFORE I MARRY YOU.Copy !req
623. DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT?Copy !req
624. I FEEL GOOD.Copy !req
625. YOU SHOULD,
YOU SHOULD.Copy !req
626. YOU'RE AMAZING.Copy !req
627. YOU'RE A HERO.Copy !req
628. THANK YOU.Copy !req
629. I'D LIKE YOU TALK
AT MY DAUGHTER'S BAT MITZVAH.Copy !req
630. MY MIND FOR ME,Copy !req
631. FEEL DIFFERENT NOW.Copy !req
632. IT WAS THE BAPTISM.Copy !req
633. FINE, THEN WE'RE
NOT GETTING MARRIED.Copy !req
634. I'M NOT
GETTING BAPTIZED.Copy !req
635. WELL, I'M NOT
GETTING MARRIED.Copy !req
636. OKAY, SHELDON, VICKY—Copy !req
637. HEY, LARRY,
DID YOU HEAR THAT?Copy !req
638. WE'RE NOT
GETTING MARRIED!Copy !req
639. YOU HAPPY NOW,
YOU SONOFABITCH?Copy !req
640. DON'T CALL HIM A SONOFABITCH,
HE'S NOT A SONOFABITCH.Copy !req
641. A WONDERFUL THING TODAY.Copy !req
642. WHAT?Copy !req
643. YOU SAYING,Copy !req
644. ISN'T A WONDERFUL THING?Copy !req
645. INSINUATING?Copy !req
646. NO, HE'S NOT
SAYING THAT.Copy !req
647. IT'S WONDERFUL FOR YOU,
WE RESENT THE RECRUITMENT.Copy !req
648. WE DON'T NEED YOU!Copy !req
649. YOUR PEOPLE... !Copy !req
650. EVERYTHING'S A PROBLEM
WITH YOU PEOPLE!Copy !req
651. AH, IT'S GOOD
TO BE HOME.Copy !req
652. HEY, THERE'S MY JACKET,Copy !req
653. THERE'S THE GUY
YOU GAVE MY JACKET TO!Copy !req
654. HEY!Copy !req
655. CAN YOU
HELP ME OUT?Copy !req
656. REMEMBER ME?
I GAVE YOU THE JACKET.Copy !req
657. OH, HI.Copy !req
658. THAT'S MY JACKET,
IT LOOKS REALLY GOOD ON YOU.Copy !req
659. I'M GLAD YOU COULD
USE IT, THERE YOU GO.Copy !req
660. THANK YOU.Copy !req
661. OKAY, BYE.Copy !req
662. OH...
OH, DEAR,
YES?Copy !req
663. AIRPLANE TICKETS.Copy !req
664. TO CALL YOU.Copy !req
665. WAS ON THERE.Copy !req
666. YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE
A PHONE MACHINE?Copy !req
667. Captions Copyright 2001Copy !req
668. A Division of TIME WARNER
ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.Copy !req
669. Captioned byCopy !req