Curb Your Enthusiasm 2x8

1. by

2. A Division of TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.

3. TOO ADORABLE.

4. TOTALLY ADORABLE.

5. JILL, HOW OLD IS HE NOW?

6. HE'S 14 MONTHS.

7. SO CUTE.

8. THEY GROW SO FAST, IT'S AMAZING.

9. AND IT'S INSTANT.

10. IT'S INSTANTANEOUS GROWTH.

11. LITTLE BROCCOLI HERE.

12. WHERE'S THE BOTTOM OF THE BROCCOLI?

13. THE BOTTOM OF THE BROCCOLI?

14. I LIKE THE BOTTOM, IT'S CRUNCHY.

15. RIGHT.

16. REALLY.

17. YOU KNOW, LOOK AT THIS BROCCOLI, THERE'S NOTHING.

18. THEY CUT THE WHOLE THING OFF, THERE'S NO BOTTOM.

19. WHO CAN EAT CAULIFLOWER?

20. WHAT IS IT?

21. WHO PUT THIS ON EARTH, THIS VEGETABLE?

22. LARRY, JEREMY HAS SOMETHING HE WANTS TO ASK YOU.

23. HE'S BEEN WANTING TO ASK.

24. IT'S REALLY NO BIG DEAL.

25. IT'S, UM...

26. YOU KNOW, I'M APPLYING FOR A FELLOWSHIP.

27. WITH ME, IS THAT IT?

28. 'CAUSE I LIKE THAT

29. YOU GOT HAPPENING THERE.

30. THANKS, THANKS.

31. THE GALLERIES.

32. SO, I'M APPLYING

33. THE L.A. COUNTY MUSEUM OF ART AND...

34. YEAH, I'M REALLY EXCITED.

35. BUT, UH, I NEED A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION AND...

36. DO IT FOR ME.

37. GOD, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH.

38. I LOVE THE INDEBTED PART, BELIEVE ME.

39. DON'T GET ME WRONG.

40. YOU KNOW, I DON'T REALLY KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT ART.

41. BUT YOU KNOW ABOUT JEREMY, AND THAT'S THE POINT, RIGHT?

42. AND HIS WORK, RIGHT?

43. JUST THAT HE'D BE AN ASSET TO THE COUNTY AND...

44. EASY ENOUGH.

45. YEAH.

46. YEAH.

47. SUREOKAY.

48. OH, THAT'D BE GREAT.

49. THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH FOR IT.

50. OKAY.

51. HERE'S TO LARRY.

52. THAT'S GONNA BE, ALRIGHT?

53. YES, ABSOLUTELY.

54. AND TO THE LAKERS.

55. THE LAKERS' SEASON STARTING UP TOMORROW.

56. OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

57. YOU'RE NOT A LAKERS' FAN ARE YOU?

58. YOU'RE A KNICKS' FAN.

59. I'M A KNICKS' FAN, YEAH.

60. TABLE FOR ONE.

61. BUT I'M GOING TOMORROW NIGHT.

62. RIGHT NEXT TO THE LAKER BENCH.

63. HE'S GOT THE MOST UNBELIEVABLE SEATS.

64. PRETTY AMAZING.

65. THAT'S, UH, PRETTY AMAZING.

66. BUT YOU'RE A KNICK FAN.

67. I'LL ROOT FOR THE OTHER TEAM.

68. I CAN'T STAND THE LAKERS, REALLY.

69. NO.

70. NO, I CAN'T STAND THEM.

71. 19,000 PEOPLE DISAPPOINTED WHEN THEY LOSE, I JUST...

72. RIGHT, WHEN THEY LOSE, WHICH IS VERY SELDOM.

73. VERY SELDOM.

74. I MEAN, THEY HAVE SHAQ.

75. BEST PLAYER THAT EVER LIVED, END OF STORY.

76. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

77. I AM A SUCKER FOR CILANTRO, I'LL TELL YOU.

78. WHILE BOB'S IN THE BATHROOM.

79. BUT, JEREMY AND LARRY, FOR BOB'S 40th BIRTHDAY,

80. IS TO GIVE HIM,

81. WHERE EACH PERSON DOES A PAGE.

82. WHAT I MEAN?

83. WHAT DO YOU MEAN A PAGE? WHAT KIND OF PAGE?

84. ANYTHING YOU WANT.

85. LIKE, IF YOU WOULD DRAW SOMETHING,

86. DO AN ART PIECE,

87. A RECOLLECTION OF BOB,

88. YOU CAN SHARE.

89. MAKE IT FUNNY, WOULD BE GREAT IF YOU COULD MAKE IT FUNNY.

90. GREAT, I WOULD LOVE TO DO THAT.

91. THANK YOU, HE WOULD LOVE THAT.

92. THAT'D BE AN HONOR.

93. LARRY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO THAT?

94. A PAGE?

95. THAT WOULD BE NICE.

96. WELL, I MEAN, I HAVE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME.

97. I'VE GOT HIS LETTER TO WRITE.

98. YOU KNOW, BOB'S THING DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A BIG THING.

99. YOU COULD DO THAT.

100. YEAH.

101. REALLY? OH GOOD, THANK YOU.

102. THANK YOU, THAT'LL BE GREAT.

103. BOB'S BIRTHDAY IS ON SATURDAY.

104. SO, IF I COULD PICK IT UP AROUND WEDNESDAY.

105. CHEESECAKE OR SOMETHING?

106. OH, I'D LOVE DESSERT.

107. ACTUALLY, WE CANNOT STAY FOR DESSERT.

108. WHAT?

109. CAME INTO TOWN,

110. BY THEMSELVES.

111. HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING?

112. ACTUALLY, WE'RE ON OUR WAY BACK.

113. ARE IN TOWN.

114. UM, LET'S SEE, YOU WANT SOME...

115. YOU WANT SOME MONEY FOR THIS, FOR THIS DINNER?

116. FOR THE DINNER?

117. YEAH.

118. SURE.

119. I DON'T KNOW, HOW MUCH WAS THIS?

120. SIX, TWO, EIGHTY?

121. WHAT DID YOU HAVE?

122. I MEAN, WE JUST HAD SOME TURKEY.

123. WHAT DID WE HAVE, TURKEY AND A GLASS OF WINE?

124. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO PUT DOWN HERE.

125. 90, HOW'S THAT, IS THAT GOOD? IS 90 GOOD?

126. 110, 115, WHAT'D YOU HAVE?

127. CHICKEN AND TURKEY AND A GLASS, I GOT $115, IS THAT COOL?

128. ALRIGHT, BYE, YOU GUYS.

129. BYE, CHERYL.

130. COMING OUT.

131. LARRY, AREN'T YOU GONNA SAY GOODBYE?

132. YEAH, OF COURSE I'M GONNA...

133. GOODBYE.

134. ALRIGHT, BYE YOU GUYS.

135. SAY GOODBYE.

136. DRIVE SAFE, OKAY?

137. I LEFT $115.

138. I GO OUT TO DINNER, I WIND UP WITH A HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT.

139. GOODBYE BUSINESS?

140. EMBARRASSING.

141. WELL, I JUST, I WANTED TO REMIND YOU TO SAY GOODBYE.

142. I WAS GONNA SAY GOODBYE, I'M NOT A MORON.

143. SOMETIMES YOU DON'T.

144. WHAT?

145. TO SAY GOODBYE TO PEOPLE.

146. GOODBYE TO PEOPLE?

147. HAVE I FORGOTTEN.

148. YES, YOU HAVE.

149. YOU'RE DOING IT INTENTIONALLY.

150. THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

151. I PAID FOR THAT DINNER?

152. MONEY DOWN ON THE TABLE.

153. WHY DIDN'T THEY STOP ME?

154. PUTTING MONEY DOWN?

155. BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T, THEY DIDN'T STOP ME.

156. THERE YOU GO, THANK YOU.

157. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO PUT IN THAT MUCH.

158. I KEPT SAYING, IS THAT ENOUGH?

159. $80, $90?

160. OH, I HOPE MY PARENTS FOUND SOMETHING TO EAT.

161. I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT.

162. STAYING FOR, ANYWAY?

163. THEY'RE STAYING 'TIL NEXT WEEK,

164. FOR BECKY'S WEDDING.

165. IT DOESN'T WORK

166. OKAY, ALRIGHT!

167. MEAN NORMALLY.

168. OKAY, BUT THEN I WANT ARABIA.

169. I NEED ARABIA.

170. WE ALREADY SETTLED THAT, IT'S NOT A COUNTRY.

171. IT IS A COUNTRY.

172. OH, HI, GUYS.

173. HI.

174. A COUNTRY?

175. ARABIA? NO, IT'S SAUDI ARABIA.

176. YOU DON'KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT,

177. "MR. EXPERT IN SOMEBODY ELSE'S FIELD."

178. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS PLAYING, SCATTERGORIES?

179. YEAH.

180. CAN I PLAY?

181. HOPE YOU DON'T MIND, WE RAIDED YOUR GAMES.

182. NO, I DON'T CARE.

183. NO, GOSH, WE HAVEN'T

184. AND YOUR LIQUOR.

185. S? LARRY, YOU WANNA PLAY A QUICK ROUND OF SCATTERGO$

186. NO, I'M GONNA GO UP.

187. YEAH, WELL, THANK YOU, CAPTAIN GEOGRAPHY.

188. HEY, LARRY, DON'T YOU SAY GOODNIGHT?

189. OH, GOODNIGHT, SORRY.

190. GOODNIGHT. GOODNIGHT.

191. OKAY, "J", FIVE, GO!

192. OHIO STATE, THAT'S A COLLEGE WITH AN "O".

193. OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

194. GIVE ME TIME, I WANT TO DO IT, TOO.

195. OKAY, OH, OH, UH, OH, GOSH, UH...

196. OCCIDENTAL!

197. OCCIDENTAL.

198. HONEY, PLEASE DON'T YELL AT MY PARENTS LIKE THAT.

199. I WASN'T YELLING, I WAS HELPING.

200. ANGEL.

201. SO, UM...

202. ABOUT THIS PAGE?

203. ABOUT THESE PAGES?

204. ON SOMETHING?

205. WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

206. SHE'S VERY VAGUE ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.

207. TO RIGHT ON IT?

208. SHE WANTS A POEM?

209. "SOMETHING FUNNY", SHE SAID.

210. IS IT LINED PAPER?

211. MAYBE, I'LL MAKE LITTLE FANCY EDGES ON THE END.

212. DON'T THEY HAVE, LIKE, SPECIAL SCISSORS

213. ON THE END?

214. YOUR LIGHT MUCH LONGER?

215. I'VE BEEN WORKING ON MY LETTER, TOO.

216. TO THE COUNTY MUSEUM, MY LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION.

217. TO HEAR IT?

218. "DEAR, L.A. COUNTY MUSEUM.

219. "THIS IS A LETTER FOR A GUY NAMED, J—

220. "A GUY NAME JEREMY, WHO'S SOMEWHAT OF AN ACQUAINTANCE.

221. "AND HE DRAWS BEAUTIFUL

222. THAT ARE QUITE MOVING."

223. BY THE WAY, I COULD MAKE THOSE TRIANGLES AND THOSE CIRCLES.

224. YOU KNOW, IS THAT ART?

225. I MEAN, IF I COULD DO IT, IS THAT ART?

226. MM-HMM.

227. WELL, GOODNIGHT.

228. GOODNIGHT.

229. "DEAR, COUNTY BOARD.

230. "I'M WRITING ON BEHALF OF JEREMY..."

231. OKAY.

232. "I'LL FIND OUT HIS LAST NAME AND WRITE BACK TO YOU."

233. OKAY.

234. SO, HAVE YOU EVER DONE ONE OF THESE PAGES?

235. NO.

236. IT'S STUPID.

237. TO DINNER WITH?

238. DID YOU PUT YOURSELF IN?

239. IT'S ALL OUR FRIENDS.

240. LISTEN, I CAN'T GO TO THE LAKER GAME TONIGHT.

241. REALLY?

242. YEAH, SUZIE'S GOTTA GO TO NEW YORK,

243. 'CAUSE HER MOM'S SICK, AND I GOTTA WATCH THE KID.

244. OH MY GOSH, SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

245. WHO'S GETTING THE TICKET?

246. WHY DON'T YOU GIVE IT TO LEWIS?

247. OH, SURE.

248. GO WITH HIM.

249. HEY, JEFFY, HOW ARE YOU?

250. HEY, AL, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

251. GOOD TO SEE YOU, HOW ARE YOU?

252. GOOD, ALBERT MAYO, LARRY DAVID,

253. LARRY DAVID, ALBERT MAYO.

254. ALBERT MAYO, NICE TO MEET YOU.

255. SHAQ'S AGENT.

256. OH, NO KIDDING?

257. HEY, I'M GOING TO THE GAME TONIGHT.

258. ARE YOU REALLY?

259. I GOT HIS SEATS.

260. OH, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT.

261. YOU'RE THE "SEINFELD" GUY, RIGHT?

262. YEAH.

263. SHAQ LOVES YOUR SHOW.

264. REALLY?

265. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, HE LOVES IT, LOVES IT.

266. LISTEN, I GOTTA RUN, I GOTTA GET TO THE CENTER.

267. ENJOY THE GAME, HAVE A GOOD TIME.

268. TO MEET YOU.

269. WITH HIM?

270. YEAH, I WON 300 BUCKS OFF DOC WIGGINS.

271. BEAUTIFUL, MAN, SEE YOU LATER.

272. BYE BYE.

273. I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.

274. LET'S GO.

275. UM, JUST ONE FAVOR.

276. THING ON MY BACK.

277. TELL ME IF YOU THINK, WHAT IS THAT?

278. THINK THAT IS?

279. UH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

280. YOU KNOW, YOU OUGHTA GO TO A DOCTOR.

281. REALLY?

282. YEAH.

283. RIGHT OVER THERE?

284. THAT'S DR. WIGGINS, THAT'S WHO HE WAS TALKING ABOUT.

285. HE'S THE LAKERS' DOCTOR, GO ASK HIM.

286. BUT HE'S AN ORTHOPEDIC, RIGHT?

287. ALL THE STUFF.

288. AND LOOK AT IT AND GO,

289. "THAT'S SOMETHING OR NOTHING."

290. IF HE TELLS YOU IT'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, THEN YOU'RE FINE.

291. I'M GONNA GO HIT SOME BALLS.

292. I'LL SEE YOU AT THE RANCH.

293. HEY, DR. WIGGINS?

294. HEY.

295. HOW YA DOING?

296. GOOD.

297. UM, I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU WITH THIS.

298. A VISIT TO A DERMATOLOGIST.

299. I'M SORRY, I'M RUNNING A LITTLE LATE.

300. WELL, IT'LL ONLY TAKE A SECOND TO TAKE QUICK LOOK AT IT.

301. I'M SURE IT'S NOTHING TELL ME IF IT'S—

302. TO THE OFFICE.

303. I'LL BE HAPPY TO LOOK AT IT THERE.

304. I MEAN, IT WOULD JUST TAKE A SECOND.

305. OR NOTHING OR, YOU KNOW.

306. IT'S LIKE LOOKING AT YOUR WATCH, REALLY.

307. DO FOR A LIVING?

308. I'M A WRITER.

309. NEXT TIME YOU'RE IN A BIG HURRY,

310. WHY DON'T YOU WRITE ME A BUNCH OF SHIT FOR FREE?

311. ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS TAKE A QUICK LOOK AT IT.

312. KILLED HIM?

313. THE DOCTOR?

314. YEAH, THE DOCTOR, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

315. COME ON, MAN.

316. HE'S IN THE LOCKER ROOM,

317. ALL HE'S GOTTA DO IS TAKE ONE QUICK LOOK, TAKE FIVE SECONDS.

318. OH MAN, I MEAN, THE GUY'S TRYING TO RELAX LIKE YOU.

319. THE GUY SPACE.

320. LOOK AT THIS.

321. HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?

322. GOOD.

323. TO YOUR SEATS.

324. THIS'LL BE HIS AND THIS'LL BE YOURS.

325. THESE TWO, RIGHT HERE?

326. ENJOY THE GAME.

327. OH, MY GOD.

328. LOOK AT THIS, HOW GREAT IS THIS?

329. HOLY COW.

330. GREAT, RIGHT? HOW GREAT IS THIS?

331. IS THIS FUCKIN' UNBELIEVABLE?

332. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.

333. THIS IS, YOU KNOW, WE HAVE A GREAT MANAGER.

334. WHAT CAN I TELL YOU?

335. YOUR LOS ANGELES LAKERS.

336. YOU'VE GOT THE BEST SEAT IN THE HOUSE, YOU KNOW THAT?

337. YOU DO.

338. THE BENCH IS RIGHT OVER HERE, LOOK AT THIS.

339. YOU KNOW, I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING JACKSON'S SAYING?

340. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HE SAID.

341. SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.

342. ANTHONY PEELER, TWO SHOTS.

343. WHAT'S HE DOING?

344. WHY DOESN'T HE PUT SHAQ BACK IN THE GAME?

345. IT'S RIDICULOUS.

346. WHO, COACH JACKSON?

347. YEAH, I'LL ASK HIM WITH HIS EIGHT RINGS,

348. THAT LARRY DAVID'S UPSET.

349. HE'S BEEN OUT OF THE GAME FOR FIVE MINUTES.

350. BACK IN, IT'S CRAZY.

351. MAYBE HE'S UPSET.

352. MAYBE, YOU KNOW, MAYBE, HE'S TIRED.

353. OH MY—

354. OH, MY GOD.

355. IDIOT, WHAT DID YOU DO?

356. OH GOD, I'M SO...

357. WHAT DID YOU DO?

358. ARE YOU OKAY? I'M SO SORRY.

359. HERE, GIVE US SOME ROOM HERE, STAND BACK.

360. TAKE IT EASY.

361. WHERE IS IT?

362. MY KNEE.

363. YOUR KNEE?

364. MY KNEE.

365. OKAY, EASY, EASY.

366. LOOK AT THIS SHIT.

367. IT'S NOT AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT, FOR CHRISSAKE.

368. CAN YOU STRAIGHTEN IT, SHAQ?

369. NO.

370. CAN YOU PUT ANY WEIGHT ON IT?

371. LARRY, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

372. I DON'T KNOW, I STUCK MY LEGS OUT.

373. I'M SO SORRY.

374. LET'S GET HIM UP, I'LL HOLD THE LEG, GET HIM UP.

375. GET HIM UP.

376. I'M SO SORRY.

377. CAN YOU PUT ANY WEIGHT ON IT?

378. NO.

379. BOO!

380. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

381. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

382. JUST SIT DOWN.

383. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

384. A NIGHTMARE.

385. I THINK WE SHOULD GET GOING, I'M VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.

386. I'M FUCKIN' OUT OF HERE.

387. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, C'MON.

388. JUST GO.

389. GET OUT OF HERE, GO AHEAD, HURRY UP.

390. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

391. TAKE A HIKE.

392. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

393. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

394. YEAH, NO, BELIEVE ME, JULIE, I SAW IT.

395. I SAW HIM ON THE NEWS.

396. I SAW THE WHOLE THING, AND HE JUST WALKED IN.

397. I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW, OH, I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.

398. OKAY.

399. OH, MY GOD!

400. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT NEWS?

401. YOU SAW ME ON THE NEWS?

402. YEAH, OF COURSE I DID.

403. ME?

404. TRIPPED SHAQUILLE O'NEAL,

405. AND NOW HE'S GONNA BE OUT FOR TWO MONTHS.

406. YOU MEAN I TRIPPED HIM? THEY SAID LARRY DAVID?

407. YES, THEY HAVE A BIG CLOSE-UP OF YOU.

408. IN SLOW MOTION.

409. THEY HAVE "LARRY DAVID TOOK OUT SHAQUILLE O'NEAL",

410. HE'S GONNA BE OUT.

411. THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE SAYING.

412. WILL NOT STOP RINGING.

413. INTO THE NEXT ROOM,

414. JUST WATCH OUR SHOW?

415. LOOK, CAN WE CALL YOU BACK TOMORROW?

416. IT'S JUST SO HECTIC.

417. TWO MONTHS?

418. HE'S GONNA BE OUT TWO MONTHS?

419. THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE SAYING, TWO MONTHS.

420. AND NOT ONLY THAT, ONE OF THE REPORTERS THINKS THAT,

421. YOU MIGHT HAVE HAD A MOTIVE, BECAUSE YOU'RE A KNICKS' FAN.

422. OH, YEAH, YEAH, I DID HAVE A MOTIVE.

423. I WANTED TO KILL HIM, I HAD A MOTIVE.

424. OUTSIDE, PLEASE?

425. YEAH, WE'RE NOT TAKING ANY CALLS.

426. SORRY.

427. OH, MY GOD, MY PARENTS ARE TRYING TO WATCH THEIR SHOW.

428. DON'T YOU SAY GOODNIGHT?

429. HEY, ASSHOLE!

430. YEAH, YOU, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

431. YEAH, ASSHOLE!

432. WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK?

433. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

434. MY LEGS OUT AND HE TRIPPED.

435. MY TICKETS.

436. MY TICKETS.

437. YEAH.

438. THEY CAN'T DO THAT.

439. SURE THEY CAN, IT SAYS ON THE BACK OF THE TICKET.

440. WHY?

441. I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR WHOEVER SITS IN MY SEAT.

442. STRETCHING FOR?

443. WHAT REASON? YOU'RE IN THE FIRST ROW.

444. NEED TO STRETCH?

445. I STUCK MY LEGS OUT.

446. HOLY SHIT, YOU KNO HOW HARD I WORKED FOR THOSE?

447. ONE GAME, THE FIRST GAME AND YOU FUCK THE WHOLE THING UP!

448. SORRY.

449. HAVE A GREAT DAY.

450. FUCK!

451. I'M SORRY.

452. WHAT CAN I DO? CAN I DO ANYTHING?

453. BUY THE TEAM.

454. THAT WOULD BE A HELP.

455. HEY, CHUCK.

456. HEY, LARRY, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

457. OKAY.

458. THE GAME LAST NIGHT, HUH?

459. I MEAN, SHAQ IS COMING OFF THE BENCH,

460. YOU GOT YOUR LEGS STRETCHED OUT, I MEAN, THE GUY JUST TRIPS.

461. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

462. I KNOW, YOU GOT TO BE CAREFUL.

463. YOU'RE SITTING THERE, YOU KNOW, YOU SEE A PLAYER COMING,

464. IT'S A BIG, MOUNTAIN OF A GUY.

465. TO SEE HIM, YOU KNOW.

466. I KNOW, I KNOW.

467. IT WAS A STUPID THING, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

468. BUT, I MEAN, WITHOUT SHAQ, WE CAN'T WIN THIS, YOU KNOW?

469. OH, LARRY.

470. CAN I BE?

471. NO COMMENT.

472. ALRIGHT, THANK YOU.

473. UM...

474. YOU'VE GOT A BOATLOAD OF MESSAGES,

475. WASN'T RINGING, FAXES WERE COMING IN.

476. WITH SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, OKAY?

477. SO, FIND OUT WHERE HE IS, HE MIGHT BE IN A HOSPITAL.

478. I DON'T KNOW.

479. DON'T, FORGET IT, DON'T EVEN ANSWER IT.

480. HE'S A BIG "SEINFELD" FAN.

481. "SEINFELD TAPES", IF YOU CAN.

482. ALL THE "SEINFELD" SHOWS, EVERY ONE.

483. IN A BIRTHDAY BOOK?

484. OH YEAH, ALL THE MAGAZINE SHOWS ARE CALLING.

485. THEY'RE GONNA DO A SPREAD.

486. I'M GOING HOME.

487. OH, HEY, NO GOODBYE?

488. JESUS!

489. OH, MAN.

490. NOW DON'T LEAVE THAT IN THE MIDDLE.

491. THIS IN HERE.

492. NO, PUT IT WHEREVER YOU WANT TO PUT IT.

493. IT'S FINE WITH ME.

494. WHAT'S GOING ON?

495. WELL, WE'RE LEAVING.

496. YOU'RE WHAT?

497. WE'RE LEAVING.

498. IT'S A LITTLE TOO BUSY AROUND HERE FOR US.

499. YEAH, A LITTLE TOO MUCH COMMOTION FOR US.

500. REALLY, YOU'RE GOING?

501. WE'LL LEAVE YOU WITH YOUR CHAOS, OKAY?

502. HOLY MACKEREL.

503. MOM, I WISH YOU GUYS WOULDN'T LEAVE SO SOON.

504. WELL, IT'S TIME, HONEY.

505. GOODBYE.

506. DAD, DON'T YOU WANT TO STAY A LITTLE BIT LONGER?

507. ALRIGHT, WELL, IF YOU RECONSIDER, YOU CAN COME BACK.

508. WITH YOUR TELEPHONE.

509. THAT'S SAD, IT'S SAD.

510. DON'T YOU SAY GOODBYE?

511. IN A HURRY.

512. OH, IT'S A LITTLE RUDE, YOU KNOW?

513. WELL, BOY.

514. FOR THEM, HUH?

515. YEAH.

516. LARRY, OH, I'M SO GLAD I CAUGHT YOU AT HOME.

517. I'M SO GLAD.

518. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU

519. FOR BOB'S BIRTHDAY BOOK.

520. YOU KNOW WHY?

521. UH, 'CAUSE I'M NOT GONNA DO IT.

522. IT WAS TOO OVERWHELMING,

523. AND I THOUGHT, GET HIM SOME COLOGNE.

524. I'VE BEEN GIVING THIS THING SOME THOUGHT, YOU KNOW.

525. I'M SORRY, I FEEL...

526. DO A BASKETBALL,

527. OF THE LAKERS' SIGNATURES ON IT,

528. YOU KNOW, AND...

529. REALLY?

530. YEAH, AND THEN I WAS GONNA WRITE A COUPLE OF, UH...

531. WE HAD DINNER TOGETHER AND...

532. OH, I FEEL BAD.

533. YOU'RE UPSET.

534. "I LOVE YOU BOB", AND...

535. REALLY, OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

536. AND I'M SURE, YOU KNOW, THERE'S SOME KIND OF THING

537. AT SOME POINT.

538. ACQUAINTANCES TAKE IT, OKAY?

539. YOU KNOW, THEY WERE FINE.

540. YEAH, GOOD.

541. FINE WITH IT, YOU KNOW?

542. THANKS.

543. IS THAT JILL?

544. YEAH, SHE CANCELLED THE PAGE IN THE BIRTHDAY BOOK.

545. NOBODY WANTS TO HAVE...

546. APPARENTLY, ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME,

547. SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.

548. THAT'S KIND OF SAD.

549. SAD?

550. WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY?

551. I'M GONNA GO TO STARBUCKS AND GET SOME COFFEE.

552. STARBUCKS, WAIT, I'LL GO WITH YOU.

553. NO, NO, I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

554. WAIT, NO, NO, NO.

555. NO, NO.

556. HEY, ADORA, IF ANYBODY WANTS ME, I'M GOING TO STARBUCKS!

557. I'LL TAKE A MOCHA.

558. AND I'LL HAVE A VANILLA,

559. BULLSHIT THINGS.

560. YOU KNOW, YOU, WHATEVER YOU WANT.

561. SOME VANILLA BULLSHIT, LATTE CAPPA-THING.

562. WHATEVER YOU GOT, I DON'T CARE.

563. WHAT?

564. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

565. I DON'T REALLY LIKE THIS, UH...

566. WHAT?

567. THIS NEW LARRY.

568. WHAT'S THE MATTER?

569. ENTHUSIASTIC AND...

570. NO, HONEY...

571. I MISS THE OLD LARRY.

572. OH, DO YOU?

573. YEAH.

574. HEY, THERE'S JEREMY.

575. LARRY, I'M GLAD I CAUGHT UP TO YOU.

576. YOU'D BE DOWN HERE.

577. TO YOU REAL QUICK.

578. UH...

579. LET ME TAKE A GUESS.

580. WELL, ALRIGHT.

581. ALRIGHT, CAN I TAKE A GUESS?

582. YEAH, SURE.

583. YOU DON'T WANT ME TO WRITE THE LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION.

584. WOW, YEAH.

585. HOLY, WHAT A—

586. THAT'S A LOAD OFF MY MIND, I'LL TELL YOU.

587. IT'S A SHAME, THOUGH.

588. IT'S A SHAME, BECAUSE

589. WITH THE GEOMETRIC SHAPES,

590. THE TRIANGLES, AND THE TRAPEZOIDS, AND ALL OF THAT.

591. THERE'S A LITTLE

592. WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT,

593. BUT THEY'RE VERY COMPELLING FIGURES,

594. AND THE SQUARE AND...

595. WELL, THANK YOU.

596. HEY, YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

597. ALRIGHT, YOU TOO.

598. MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME.

599. YEAH.

600. I'M AVAILABLE FOR ANY KIND OF FAVOR THAT YOU NEED.

601. OKAY, THANKS A LOT, BYE BYE, NOW.

602. COFFEE ON ME!

603. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN,

604. AND DANISH AND BAGELS.

605. ANYTHING YOU WANT.

606. ON ME, I GOT IT, EVERYBODY, C'MON.

607. COME ON UP, GET SOME COFFEE.

608. THAT'S RIGHT, GO AHEAD, ENJOY YOURSELF.

609. THAT A WAY, THAT'S IT, DON'T BE SHY.

610. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, THANK YOU.

611. C'MON, PEOPLE, EVERYTHING ON ME.

612. THIS IS VERY GOOD, BY THE WAY, THANK YOU.

613. IT'S A CAFE LATTE? WHAT IS THAT, MILK?

614. MILK.

615. MILK AND COFFEE?

616. COFFEE, YEAH.

617. MILK AND COFFEE, WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT?

618. MILK AND COFFEE.

619. WE CAN GO NOW IF YOU WANT.

620. OH MY GOD, WHAT A DRINK!

621. TO TAKE OFF.

622. IT'S MILK AND COFFEE MIXED TOGETHER.

623. LET'S DO THAT.

624. WE'VE GOTTA GO THERE, SIT DOWN, HAVE A DONUT, HAVE A BAGEL.

625. IS SHAQUILLE O'NEAL ON THIS FLOOR?

626. DOWN THE HALL.

627. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, THANK YOU.

628. EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU A DOCTOR?

629. YES, I'M A DOCTOR.

630. DO ME A FAVOR?

631. AT THIS THING ON MY BACK?

632. TELL ME IF IT'S ANYTHING THAT I SHOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT.

633. SURE, TURN AROUND.

634. RIGHT OVER HERE.

635. DO YOU SEE

636. A SOLAR KERATOSIS.

637. WHAT IS THAT?

638. IT'S BENIGN, IT'S FROM THE SUN.

639. REALLY?

640. I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

641. IT'S NOTHING.

642. OH, MY GOD, THANK YOU.

643. SURE.

644. OH, THAT WAS SO NICE OF YOU TO DO THAT.

645. YOU...

646. BE LIKE YO YOU KNOW THAT?

647. OF THE SUN.

648. OKAY, THANKS, DOC.

649. EXCUSE ME.

650. I'VE GOT THESE TAPES I'D LIKE TO GIVE TO SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.

651. IS THAT POSSIBLE?

652. YEAH, SO JUST LEAVE THEM THERE.

653. WE'LL MAKE SURE HE GETS THEM.

654. REALLY, OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

655. HEY, LARRY.

656. HI, ALBERT.

657. DOING HERE?

658. "SEINFELD" TAPES TO SHAQ.

659. OH, THAT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU.

660. DOWN HERE AND APOLOGIZE.

661. THAT'S VERY, UH, HE'LL APPRECIATE IT.

662. WELL, I WAS ACTUALLY JUST COMING TO DROP THEM OFF.

663. I WOULDN'T DARE EVEN...

664. I'M GOING IN THERE RIGHT NOW.

665. I'LL TAKE YOU IN THERE WITH ME, C'MON.

666. REALLY?

667. YEAH.

668. WHAT, YOU THINK HE'S GONNA HURT YOU?

669. YEAH, I DO.

670. OH, C'MON, I'M SURE HE'D APPRECIATE AN APOLOGY.

671. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

672. WELL, I'LL APOLOGIZE, YEAH.

673. WHAT CAN YOU DO? THINGS HAPPEN.

674. I KNOW.

675. THAT'S A GREAT PRESENT, TOO.

676. HE'S GONNA BE ON HIS BACK FOR TWO MONTHS.

677. REALLY, YOU THINK HE'LL LIKE IT?

678. YEAH, HE LOVES IT, IT'S HIS FAVORITE SHOW.

679. GREAT.

680. BEEN GOING?

681. NEVER BEEN BETTER.

682. OH, GOOD.

683. WHAT DO YOU GOT, BIG GUY?

684. PEANUT BUTTER.

685. DAIRY PRODUCT, PEANUT BUTTER.

686. NO, NO.

687. WHAT YOU MEAN, NO?

688. A DAIRY PRODUCT.

689. IT'S NOT DAIRY.

690. IS A DAIRY PRODUCT.

691. TALKING ABOUT?

692. DAIRY IS FROM A COW, PEANUTS ARE NOT A DAIRY PRODUCT.

693. PEANUT BUTTER, MOO.

694. OKAY, PEANUTS COME FROM THE GROUND OR SOMETHING.

695. ALBERT, WHAT'S UP, BABY, HOW YOU DOING?

696. WANDERING THE HALLS.

697. LARRY DAVID, SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.

698. HE'S GOT SOMETHING HE WANTS TO SAY TO YOU.

699. I'M SO SORRY

700. AND I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED.

701. I WAS STRETCHING, I NEVER SAT THERE BEFORE.

702. I'M SORRY.

703. TO HELP, "SORRY" ?

704. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

705. "SEINFELD" TAPES.

706. A BIG "SEINFELD" FAN.

707. I AM.

708. OF EVERY EPISODE.

709. OF EVERY SHOW?

710. LISTEN, LISTEN...

711. OH, SCATTERGORIES.

712. DAIRY PRODUCTS.

713. PEANUT BUTTER.

714. PEANUT BUTTER, WOULD BE CONSIDERED A DAIRY PRODUCT,

715. AM I CORRECT?

716. ABSOLUTELY, BUTTER.

717. THANK YOU.

718. HAS SOME SENSE.

719. OKAY, LISTEN, I'VE GOT, PENDANT, PORSCHE, POPEYE,

720. PAGO PAGO, AND PROVOLONE.

721. DOC'S KILLING US.

722. I'M GONNA GO TO THE CAN, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

723. TOLD YOU HE WAS SMART, WHAT'S THE SCORE?

724. ALRIGHT, WELL, NOW HE HAS 26.

725. AND WHAT DO I HAVE?

726. YOU HAVE 25.

727. DO YOU GOT?

728. I HAVE 25.

729. BY THE WAY, DIDN'T THE DOCTOR MENTION FIVE ITEMS FOR "P" ?

730. YEAH. YEAH.

731. THERE'S NO PAGO PAGO AND PROVOLONE ON THIS LIST,

732. NT TO CHECK IT OUT.

733. OH, MY GOD.

734. AT SCATTERGORIES?

735. AFTER THE TIME RAN OUT.

736. AT SCATTERGORIES?

737. A DOCTOR.

738. ANOTHER GAME?

739. DOC.

740. YEAH?

741. AT SCATTERGORIES?

742. TALKING ABOUT?

743. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU GAVE US FIVE NAMES.

744. THERE'S ONLY THREE HERE.

745. LISTEN, DOC, YOU KNOW WHAT?

746. I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOU.

747. YOU'RE FIRED, GET OUT.

748. ALBERT.

749. GET THIS GUY OUT OF HERE, YOU'RE FIRED.

750. I WON, SHAQ.

751. GET OUT.

752. GET HIS ASS OUT OF HERE.

753. THE TIMER RAN OUT.

754. THE TIMER DIDN'T RUN OUT, YOU CHEATED.

755. YOU CHEATED.

756. IT'S THE TIMER.

757. NO, IT'S NOT THE TIMER, GET OUT.

758. WRITE IT DOWN.

759. GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE, GET OUT.

760. YOU HEARD WHAT HE SAID, GET OUT!

761. LET'S GO.

762. DON'T YOU SAY GOODBYE?

763. SAYS GOODBYE ANYMORE?

764. NOTICED THAT?

765. YEAH, I HAVE NOTICED THAT.

766. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE LEAVE A ROOM AND BE A LITTLE POLITE?

767. OKAY, MY FAVORITE "SEINFELD" EPISODE WAS "THE CONTEST".

768. "THE CONTEST" ?

769. I GOT IT, YOU WANT "THE CONTEST" ?

770. IF YOU POP IN "THE CONTEST", I'LL LET BYGONES BE BYGONES

771. THAT YOU TRIPPED ME.

772. IS A DAIRY PRODUCT.

773. SHAQ?

774. YES?

775. KIND OF AN ODD THING.

776. AND LOOK AT YOUR FILE,

777. AND I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED,

778. BUT IT SEEMS DR. WIGGINS MISREAD THE M.R.I.

779. OF THE QUADRICEP TENDON,

780. IT'S A PARTIAL TEAR AT BEST.

781. FOR MAYBE A WEEK,

782. YOU'LL BE BACK TO FULL STRENGTH.

783. THAT'S GREAT!

784. ONE WEEK, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

785. I was alone.

786. EXCUSE ME, I'M SORRY.

787. GIVE ME A RIDE?

788. THE DOCTOR.

789. YES, FROM UPSTAIRS.

790. YEAH.

791. YES, HOW'S YOUR BACK?

792. OKAY, BARRY, C'MON, LET'S GO.

793. WHAT...

794. STAY OUT OF THE SUN.

795. HE'S NOT A DOCTOR?

796. SIXTH FLOOR, PSYCHIATRIC.

798. A Division of TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.

799. Captioned by

800. Captioned by