Curb Your Enthusiasm 2x3

1. by

2. A Division of TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.

3. ARE YOU NERVOUS?

4. WELL, YOU KNOW, WE WERE SAYING IT EARLIER,

5. THIS IS MY FIRST TIME, AND I'M GOING TO SAY IT,

6. I'M ON THE SCREEN OF A MOVIE.

7. AS THE SOLE WRITING CREDIT.

8. THAT IS EXCITING.

9. RIGHT, IT'S THE FIRST TIME WITH AN AUDIENCE,

10. THE FIRST SCREENING FOR, YOU KNOW?

11. AND ALL MY FRIENDS, AND, YOU KNOW.

12. PEOPLE AS WELL, AND...

13. HEY, HI, HI CLIFF.

14. OH, I'M GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US.

15. WE'RE WAITING IN LINE HERE.

16. SORRY, UH, UH, I'M LATE.

17. I JUST COULDN'T PICK OUT AN OUTFIT.

18. OH, STOP IT.

19. IT'S ACTUALLY THE TRUTH, I'M NOT EVEN JOKING ABOUT IT.

20. THE THEATER.

21. I SAW THE MARQUIS.

22. YEAH, RIGHT, AND HOW'S THAT LOOK?

23. IT LOOKS GREAT.

24. THE NUMBERS 30...

25. SPELLING THAT OUT.

26. AND WE GOT TO GET A PICTURE OF THAT TOO.

27. OH, YES, YOU HAVE TO GET A PICTURE.

28. THIS IS A BIG NIGHT, YEAH.

29. VERY EXCITED.

30. SO, HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THE IDEA?

31. SOMETHING ABOUT...

32. CLIFF COBB, TABLE OF FOUR?

33. OH, GREAT, GREAT.

34. YOU KNOW WHAT, I UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE, THANK YOU.

35. PUT YOUR HEART AND SOUL INTO...

36. WELL, IT CHANGES THE WHOLE PROCESS,

37. IT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

38. IF YOU'RE JUST A WRITER FOR HIRE...

39. HEY, HOW'S CHERYL'S PRESENT COMING?

40. OH, IT'S JUST BEAUTIFUL.

41. YEAH?

42. YEAH, ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BRACELETS I'VE MADE,

43. I HAVE TO SAY.

44. YOU KNOW, HER BIRTHDAY'S ON FRIDAY, SO I...

45. YOU'LL HAVE IT BEFORE THEN, I SWEAR TO GOD.

46. BY THURSDAY.

47. NO PROBLEM, NO PROBLEM.

48. GREAT, THANK YOU, THANKS SO MUCH.

49. I KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE BEEN.

50. YOU HAVE GOT TO GO, IF YOU, IF YOU...

51. IT'S PARTICULARLY WEST OF THE RIVER.

52. YEAH.

53. LIKE, UP NORTH A LITTLE BIT, IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

54. AND IS IT JUST, IS IT A BUNCH OF PEOPLE?

55. YEAH, IT'S, WELL, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,

56. IT'S YOU AND GUIDES IN A GROUP, BUT IT'S A LARGE GROUP.

57. COMPANY YOU GO THROUGH,

58. THEY'LL PUT TOGETHER DIFFERENT GROUPS TO GO OUT,

59. TONS OF SNAKES?

60. THERE'S TONS OF EVERYTHING.

61. RIGHT, BUT THAT'S WHY YOU GO, RIGHT?

62. 'CAUSE YOU WANT TO SEE IT.

63. FORGOT MY NAPKIN.

64. RIGHT, YOU KNOW, IT'S ETIQUETTE.

65. VERY IMPORTANT, MUST PUT THE NAPKIN ON.

66. ON AN OLD PAIR OF PANTS.

67. UNLESS THERE WAS, LIKE, SOME KIND OF HUGE EMERGENCY.

68. ARE WE READY?

69. YES, PLEASE.

70. OKAY, I THINK I'LL HAVE THE GRILLED SALMON.

71. GRILLED SALMON.

72. YEAH, ME TOO, ACTUALLY, SAME THING.

73. I'LL HAVE THE PAELLA.

74. OKAY, GOOD CHOICE.

75. UM, I THINK I'M JUST GONNA GET A...

76. A COBB SALAD.

77. OKAY.

78. OKAY, AND, I WANT TO

79. IF THAT'S OKAY?

80. SURE.

81. OKAY, UM...

82. I'LL GET, UH, NO BACON.

83. NO BACON.

84. NO EGGS.

85. NO EGGS.

86. NO EGGS.

87. ON THE SIDE.

88. WANT A COBB SALAD?

89. YEAH, YOU SHOULD GET SOMETHING ELSE.

90. I'M GETTING A DAVID SALAD.

91. YEAH, IT IS A DAVID SALAD.

92. AND I'LL GET, UH, ADD CUCUMBERS, IF YOU CAN.

93. OKAY, YEAH, AND IF THE CHEF CAN'T DO THIS,

94. IF HE MAKES A FACE AT ALL, JUST COME BACK AND LET ME KNOW.

95. NO FACES.

96. YEAH, ALRIGHT, OKAY, THANK YOU.

97. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

98. DO YOU, GO THROUGH THAT EVERY TIME YOU ORDER THAT SALAD?

99. WITH IT OF SOME KIND.

100. IS IT A BIG DEAL, WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL?

101. A LITTLE, WELL, IT'S MY GRANDFATHER'S SALAD.

102. AND, YEAH, IT IS A BIG DEAL.

103. HERE WE GO.

104. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, IT'S YOUR GRANDFATHER'S SALAD?

105. THE COBB SALAD.

106. IS THAT TRUE?

107. I'M THE COBB OF COBB SALAD.

108. HE'S TOLD THIS MANY TIMES.

109. OH, MY GOD.

110. UH, THIS IS A NICE

111. YOU'VE GOT GOING HERE...

112. UH, HEY, HEY, HEY, I'M NOT LYING ABOUT THIS.

113. WAS A CHEF.

114. HE WORKED ALL OVER,

115. AND, UH, THERE WAS A TIME HE WAS AT THE DRAKE HOTEL,

116. WORKING, CHICAGO, AND HE...

117. DIFFERENT COMBINATIONS,

118. GOT OUT.

119. THAT'S HOW THE COBB SALAD WAS BORN.

120. SO HARD TO BELIEVE?

121. IT'S SO UNBELIEVABLE THAT...

122. WHAT YOU JUST DID.

123. DON'T UNDERSTAND.

124. WELL, I CAN TELL YOU THIS, I'M NEVER GOING TO DO IT AGAIN,

125. NO, NO, NO, NO, I APOLOGIZE.

126. I'M JUMPY TONIGHT, I'M JUMPY TONIGHT,

127. THE MOVIE, AND...

128. I WAS THINKING, WHAT DOES

129. IN MY SALAD, YOU KNOW.

130. LET'S, WHAT WERE WE SAYING?

131. WE WERE ACTUALLY, I WANT TO GET OUT IN THE ROUGH.

132. RIGHT, OH, WELL, AMAZONS.

133. SOUTH AFRICA?

134. OH, SOUTH AFRICA.

135. YEAH, BUT HE DID, HE WENT FOR A HUNTING TRIP.

136. YOU KNOW, MY GRANDFATHER'S NAME WAS, WAS HAROLD BINGO,

137. AND HE INVENTED BINGO.

138. OF THAT?

139. OR IS IT A BASE CAMP...

140. ABOUT ANYTHING.

141. THEY DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA.

142. THEY'VE GOT THEIR OWN TABLE.

143. THEY'VE GOT THEIR OWN TABLE.

144. IT DOESN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

145. SO CLOSE TO THESE ANIMALS.

146. SO, WE SHOULD HAVE SEX SOME TIME.

147. YES, WE SHOULD.

148. SO, WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT THERE AND YOU'RE LOOKING OUT...

149. LARRY, HOW YOU DOING?

150. LONG TIME NO SEE, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

151. WHAT'S NEW?

152. AH, NOT TOO MUCH.

153. NOT TOO MUCH?

154. HOW ABOUT YOU?

155. OF GOLF.

156. REALLY? YEAH.

157. YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD PLAY SOME TIME.

158. I DON'T PLAY GOLF.

159. SINCE WHEN?

160. I HAVEN'T PLAYED IN A LONG, LONG TIME.

161. YOU DON'T PLAY GOLF ANYMORE?

162. NO.

163. OH, LARRY, COME ON.

164. HEY, LISTEN, IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND,

165. LET ME KNOW, OKAY?

166. GOOD TO SEE YOU.

167. SO, GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

168. GO GET A SEAT.

169. LISTEN, I'M GONNA CHECK THE HOUSE.

170. OKAY.

171. SEE YOU IN A SEC.

172. WHAT IS THAT?

173. I DON'T KNOW THAT ONE.

174. IT'S VOGNER.

175. REALLY?

176. IT'S CALLED SIGFRIED IDLE.

177. PRESENT FOR HIS WIFE, COSIMA.

178. THE MORNING,

179. THIS ORCHESTRA.

180. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL, TOO.

181. SO ROMANTIC.

182. YEAH, LISTEN TO THIS.

183. IT'S PRETTY.

184. EXCUSE ME.

185. ARE YOU JEWISH?

186. ARE YOU JEWISH?

187. CHECK MY PENIS?

188. YOU WANT TO DO?

189. THE REAL QUESTION IS, WHAT WERE YOU WHISTLING?

190. YEAH, WHAT WERE YOU WHISTLING?

191. "HELLO, DOLLY".

192. NO, WAS IT VOGNER?

193. OH, WAS IT?

194. IS WHISTLING VOGNER FOR.

195. ANTI-SEMITES OF THE WORLD.

196. WHAT YOU ARE?

197. WHAT AM I?

198. YOU'RE A SELF- LOATHING JEW.

199. AM I?

200. WELL, I DO HATE MYSELF,

201. WITH BEING JEWISH, OKAY?

202. NO, IT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH JEWS.

203. IT'S MILLIONS OF JEWS WERE TAKEN TO THE CONCENTRATION CAMPS...

204. ALRIGHT, OKAY.

205. IN THE BACKGROUND...

206. HITLER'S FAVORITE COMPOSER.

207. YES.

208. YOU KNOW WHAT, THEY GOT A MENTAL ASYLUM A COUPLE OF BLOCKS DOWN.

209. NO, NOT A MENTAL ASYLUM, NO, NO, NO.

210. YOUR HERITAGE?

211. YOUR JUDAISM?

212. JUDAISM, WHERE ARE YOU?

213. WHERE ARE YOU, JUDAISM?

214. THAT YOU'RE BETTER...

215. YEAH, THEY SHOULD PUT A MUZZLE ON YOU,

216. YOU'RE FOAMING AT THE MOUTH.

217. PLEASE, THANK YOU.

218. TO THINK ABOUT, ALRIGHT?

219. HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

220. WHAT'S GOING ON, EVERYTHING ALRIGHT?

221. NO, NO, NO, NOT, BUT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR MOVIE.

222. IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.

223. GET A SEAT, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

224. ALRIGHT?

225. THAT GUY?

226. IT'S WALTER.

227. WALTER?

228. YEAH, HE LIVES RIGHT BY YOU.

229. HE LIVES TWO STREETS AWAY, YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD.

230. REALLY OBNOXIOUS.

231. COME ON, WE SHOULD GET A SEAT, COME ON.

232. IT DOWN?

233. I'M ALLOWED TO EAT POPCORN.

234. STOP IT.

235. I'M TIRED, I'M SORRY.

236. MAZEL TOV, MAZEL TOV.

237. OH, MY GOSH.

238. THAT WAS WONDERFUL.

239. HEY, CONGRATULATIONS.

240. THAT WAS GREAT, GREAT JOB.

241. VERY MUCH.

242. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT

243. COLD WATER.

244. YOU LIKED THAT?

245. YEAH, I MEAN, MY GOD.

246. AND I KNOW IT'S FREEZING OUT, 'CAUSE YOU COULD SEE THE SMOKE

247. OF HIS MOUTH.

248. IS IT SMOKE, WHAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IN THE COLD WEATHER?

249. NO, IT'S BREATH.

250. IT'S BREATH, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE SMOKE.

251. YOU REALLY LIKE THAT?

252. I LIKED IT.

253. IT WAS GOOD.

254. YEAH, IT WAS GOOD.

255. HEY, WE SHOULD GO UP FOR A DRINK, YOU GUYS.

256. UH...

257. LARRY, PROBABLY NOT, RIGHT?

258. YOU GOT A BIG DAY TOMORROW.

259. HE'S GOT TO GET HIS SLEEP.

260. GOING ON TOMORROW?

261. NOTHING, I'M JUST SITTING AROUND.

262. I'M NOT, I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING.

263. I DON'T HAVE TO.

264. WELL, WE'RE TIRED TOO, THOUGH, WE'RE JUST GONNA...

265. YEAH, NO, TOMORROW I'M SITTING AROUND,

266. I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING.

267. SITTING AROUND?

268. SO, LISTEN, THANK YOU, UH, THANK YOU FOR COMING.

269. YEAH, HEY, GREAT JOB, AGAIN.

270. HOPE YOU LIKED IT.

271. OKAY, GOOD-BYE.

272. THOSE PICTURES...

273. I'LL GET YOU THE PICTURES.

274. WAS PERFECT.

275. FEEL SO PROUD.

276. NO, YEAH, I LOVED IT.

277. I REALLY, HONESTLY, I DID, I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD,

278. WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

279. WANDA.

280. UM, YEAH, NO, IT WAS REALLY GOOD.

281. I LOVED EVERY MINUTE.

282. AND THEN I LOOK OVER, AND LARRY'S YAWNING.

283. WHAT, I, I, I, I WASN'T BORED.

284. CAN'T SOMEBODY BE TIRED AND YAWN?

285. I MEAN, IT'S A BIOLOGICAL FUNCTION.

286. TO THAT SCREENING.

287. IT DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN YOU'RE BORED.

288. I KNOW, I THOUGHT IT WAS RUDE.

289. IT WAS RUDE, YEAH, IT WAS RUDE, YEAH, IT REALLY RUDE,

290. WHO CLIFF IS?

291. CLIFF COBB?

292. YEAH, THE CUTE GUY IN THE WHEELCHAIR, YEAH.

293. SO, WE'RE IN THE LOBBY AND WE'RE TALKING TO HIM AFTERWARD,

294. AND EVERYONE'S

295. AND HE'S HAVING THIS GREAT NIGHT.

296. WHAT HE'S DOING TOMORROW,

297. HE'S JUST SITTING AROUND.

298. HEY!

299. INSTEAD OF JUST, HEY, AND SAYING GOLF...

300. DON'T TELL HER THAT, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TELL HER?

301. HE CAN'T SAY HE'S PLAYING GOLF,

302. HE'S GONNA SIT AROUND.

303. 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL BAD.

304. I'M GOING OUT?

305. IF I WAS HANDICAPPED, I WOULD

306. THAT THEY'RE SITTING AROUND.

307. I'M GOING GOLFING OR HORSEBACK RIDING.

308. SO, HE DOESN'T GET UPSET.

309. HEY, IF I WAS PLAYING CHECKERS,

310. I'M PLAYING CHECKERS.

311. SO, HE WAS TRYING TO MAKE CLIFF FEEL GOOD.

312. THAT'S A GOOD THING TO SAY.

313. THAT OTHER GUY?

314. WHY'D YOU TELL HIM THAT YOU'RE NOT PLAYING GOLF?

315. RIGHT NEXT TO ME,

316. SO, I DIDN'T WANT CLIFF TO KNOW I'M PLAYING GOLF.

317. ALSO, I DON'T WANT TO

318. TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

319. CAN YOU BELIEVE?

320. HE'S OUT OF HIS MIND!

321. I KNOW, HE THINKS HE'S DOING A REALLY GOOD THING.

322. YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

323. OKAY, I GOT TO GO, BYE.

324. TRICK OR TREAT.

325. HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

326. YEAH, HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

327. FESTIVE, HUH?

328. HEY, VERY NICE, SO, YOU'RE GOING GOLFING?

329. UM, YEAH, ACTUALLY.

330. VERY SNAZZY.

331. YEAH, REALLY?

332. ON YOU, I LIKE IT.

333. OH, THANK YOU.

334. WELL, I DON'T TUCK IN THAT MUCH.

335. SEE, GOLF MAKES ME TUCK IN.

336. TUCKED IN.

337. AND I'M REALLY TUCKED IN.

338. UM, ANY MESSAGES?

339. YOUR THERAPIST CALLED,

340. APPOINTMENT UP AN HOUR.

341. SO, PLEASE CALL THEM, AND SHELLEY COBB CALLED.

342. HEY, THE BRACELET MIGHT BE READY.

343. HEY!

344. OH, MY GOD.

345. WHEN SHE GETS THIS THING.

346. THIS REACTION,

347. BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORK A VIDEO CAMERA.

348. TIME TO DO THIS THING TOO.

349. OH.

350. HERE'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO.

351. OKAY.

352. ON THE INTERNET,

353. ON THE COBB SALAD.

354. WHO INVENTED IT, WHERE IT COMES FROM...

355. OKAY, I'LL GET ON THAT RIGHT NOW.

356. ALRIGHT, SEE WHAT YOU CAN FIND OUT.

357. RIGHT AWAY.

358. SHELLEY.

359. HI, IT'S LARRY.

360. HEY.

361. YEAH, A LOT OF FUN.

362. AND AGAIN, TELL CLIFF HOW MUCH WE ENJOYED IT.

363. PIECE OF WORK THERE.

364. YEAH, OKAY.

365. WE SHOULD GO OUT AGAIN, I'LL TALK TO CHERYL.

366. OH.

367. JUST YOU AND ME.

368. OH.

369. OH, MY GOD.

370. SHELLEY, SHELLEY, NO, NO, NO, NO,

371. THAT WAS...

372. NO, THAT WAS

373. TALKING SO MUCH,

374. IT WAS, LIKE, A JOKE FOR THEIR BENEFIT.

375. OH, MY GOD, NO, NO, OH, NO,

376. THAT WAS JUST AN ARM, I WAS JUST STRETCHING MY ARM.

377. THAT DIDN'T—

378. OH, NO, SHELLEY.

379. NO, NO, SHELLEY, OF COURSE NOT.

380. CAN WE, SHELLEY, DON'T, CAN WE, SHELLEY, DON'T,

381. BUT NO, NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE!

382. BUT, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BRACELET?

383. SHELLY, BUT, BUT...

384. LARRY, IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

385. OH, THE SALAD STUFF?

386. YEAH.

387. OKAY.

388. "SO, THE COBB SALAD

389. "THE LEGENDARY BROWN DERBY IN HOLLYWOOD.

390. "THE OWNER, BOB COBB,

391. "IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND HE WENT DOWNSTAIRS,

392. UP WITH IT."

393. IT WASN'T IN CHICAGO?

394. NO, IT WAS HERE IN HOLLYWOOD.

395. LET ME SEE THAT.

396. DERBY IN HOLLYWOOD.

397. RIGHT.

398. CLIFF COBB, MY FRIEND CLIFF COBB LIED TO ME ABOUT THE COBB SALAD.

399. DIDN'T INVENT IT.

400. BOB COBB DID.

401. TRICK OR TREAT.

402. OH, LOOK, LOOK AT YOU.

403. HERE YOU GO.

404. BYE.

405. REALLY CUTE.

406. THEY'RE REALLY, YOU WANT TO DO SOME?

407. YEAH, YOU WANT TO SWITCH?

408. YEAH, YOU CAN, YOU CAN DO SOME.

409. OKAY.

410. WELL, LET ME JUST DO A FEW MORE BAGS.

411. OH, OKAY.

412. LET ME DO A FEW AND THEN WE'LL SWITCH OFF.

413. TRICK OR TREAT.

414. HOW OLD ARE YOU?

415. 13. 13.

416. 13?

417. YEAH. YEAH.

418. YOU LOOK MORE LIKE 16, OR MAYBE EVEN 17.

419. NO, NO, WE'RE 13.

420. OUR CANDY PLEASE?

421. WHERE'S YOUR COSTUMES?

422. I'M BEING MY SISTER.

423. YOU'RE BEING YOUR SISTER?

424. YEAH, AND I'M A TEACHER.

425. YOU'RE A TEACHER?

426. YEAH, BOY, I'D LIKE TO GET MY KID IN YOUR CLASS.

427. YEAH, CANDY?

428. HELLO?

429. YEAH, I DON'T, I DON'T THINK SO.

430. ARE YOU KIDDING?

431. IT'S HALLOWEEN.

432. YEAH, I KNOW.

433. YEAH, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU'RE ENTITLED TO

434. JUST GO AROUND TO PEOPLES' HOMES AND BILK THEM OUT OF CANDY.

435. ARE YOU KIDDING?

436. NOTHING, ASSHOLE.

437. FUCK YOU.

438. LARRY!

439. HOLY SHIT.

440. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

441. THOSE, THOSE GIRLS.

442. YEAH.

443. SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

444. BECAUSE I DIDN'T GIVE THEM CANDY, THAT'S WHY.

445. RIGHT, YOU'RE STANDING AT THE DOOR WITH A BOWL OF CANDY.

446. 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK 17-YEAR-OLD GIRLS WITH NO COSTUME ON,

447. THEY DIDN'T HAVE A COSTUME ON,

448. YOU SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED...

449. WHO CARES?

450. HALLOWEEN TO GET CANDY.

451. WHO CARES, IT'S HALLOWEEN, JUST GIVE THEM CANDY!

452. YOU CAN'T JUST USE THE HOLIDAY FOR YOUR OWN SELFISH PURPOSES?

453. OH, SO WHAT, SO WHAT, SO YOU'D RATHER TO HAVE THEM

454. YOUR HOUSE?

455. WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO BE FELONY OR TREAT.

456. I DIDN'T THINK THE TRICK EXTENDED TO FELONIES.

457. OF CANDY?

458. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.

459. BECAUSE THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME KIND OF CUTOFF.

460. SHOULDN'T THERE BE FOR HALLOWEEN?

461. AND YOUR CUT OFFS,

462. AND YOUR SHOULDN'T THERE BE AND SHOULD THERE BE, WHO CARES?

463. WELL, WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO BE TRICK OR TREATING AT 40?

464. FREE CANDY?

465. I'M 40 YEARS OLD, I WANT FREE CANDY!

466. YOU KNOW WHAT, NOT EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR RULES, LARRY.

467. YEAH, YOU'VE GOT

468. AND YOU THINK EVERYONE'S GONNA ADHERE TO THEM,

469. BUT THEY'RE NOT BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS THEM.

470. YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU HAVE A LONG DAY OF CLEANING AHEAD OF YOU.

471. YEAH, I'M GONNA CLEAN UP BY MYSELF?

472. YEAH, YOU ARE GOING TO BE CLEANING THIS UP BY YOURSELF.

473. WHO'S FAULT IS THIS?

474. YEAH, WELL, I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE.

475. SO, THEY HAD NO COSTUMES?

476. RIGHT, THEY HAD

477. THAT REALLY UPSET HIM.

478. NOW, YOU'RE SURE THERE WAS NO COSTUMES.

479. I MEAN, 'CAUSE SOMETIMES THEY CAN BE VERY SUBTLE COSTUMES.

480. NO, THEY WEREN'T SUBTLE AT ALL.

481. NO COSTUMES.

482. TRYING TO GET CANDY, OKAY?

483. MM-HMM.

484. THEIR PARENTS, OR...

485. WELL, BY YOUR DESCRIPTIONS, DARK HAIR, 20 YEARS OLD,

486. I MEAN, YOU KNOW, THERE'S 10,000 KIDS

487. THAT DESCRIPTION.

488. THEY WERE SORT OF ELVIRISH, SHE LOOKED LIKE ELVIRA.

489. BIT OF A COSTUME THERE, THEN?

490. WITH THE ELVIRA THING.

491. NO, THAT WASN'T A COSTUME.

492. I'M JUST USING ELVIRA TO DESCRIBE HER, THAT'S ALL.

493. IT'S JUST A WAY, IT'S A SHORT HAND.

494. THEY KNOCKED ON THE DOOR, THEY SAID "TRICK OR TREAT" ?

495. YEAH, THEY SAID "TRICK OR TREAT".

496. AND YOU HAD TREATS?

497. CANDY ALL NIGHT.

498. BUT I DON'T HAVE TO GIVE THEM CANDY.

499. THEY DON'T DESERVE CANDY AND I DON'T DESERVE THIS.

500. BALD ASSHOLE?

501. THAT'S A HATE CRIME.

502. WE'RE A SET, WE'RE A GROUP.

503. YOU CAN'T CALL US BALD ASSHOLES.

504. WHAT IF WE WERE GAY, THEN WE'D BE GAY ASSHOLES?

505. THAT'S A HATE CRIME.

506. "BALD ASSHOLE".

507. OKAY, BUT WE CONSIDER OURSELVES A GROUP OF PEOPLE.

508. SIR, I'M BALD, I'M NOT OFFENDED.

509. WELL, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, OFFICER BURT, YOU ARE NOT BALD.

510. OKAY, YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO SHAVE YOUR HAIR,

511. THAT'S A LOOK THAT YOU'RE CULTIVATING TO BE FASHIONABLE,

512. AND WE DON'T REALLY CONSIDER YOU PART OF THE BALD COMMUNITY,

513. WITH ALL DUE RESPECT.

514. YOU IN ANY WAY,

515. OF ANY KIND, UH?

516. NO, NO, THERE WAS NO THREAT,

517. THE TRICK THREAT.

518. WHAT'S THE TRICK THREAT?

519. WELL, THE TRICK OR TREAT.

520. NO TREAT...

521. TRICK.

522. IT'S A THREAT.

523. HOW FAR CAN YOU TAKE THESE TRICKS?

524. IF IT WAS ANY OTHER NIGHT, SIR.

525. TRICK OR TREAT, BANG, BANG.

526. BUT IT'S TRICK OR TREAT.

527. SLACK ON HALLOWEEN.

528. THERE'S KIND OF A SOCIAL

529. OPEN THAT DOOR.

530. THEY SAY, "TRICK OR TREAT",

531. I WOULD ADVISE YOU, GIVE THE TREAT.

532. WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE THEM THE CANDY NEXT TIME, LARRY?

533. BE INTIMIDATED.

534. EVEN ON HALLOWEEN.

535. ARE YOU PLAYING GOLF?

536. TODAY, NO, I PLAYED YESTERDAY.

537. WELL, THEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING DRESSED LIKE THAT?

538. I LIKE THE OUTFIT.

539. IT LOOKS.

540. YEAH, BUT IT'S A GOLF OUTFIT.

541. IT'S SORT OF, YOU KNOW.

542. WELL, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE JUST GOLF.

543. WHY CAN'T YOU WALK AROUND LIKE THIS, IT'S A SHIRT.

544. IT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU.

545. THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE TELL ME.

546. WELL, PEOPLE ARE RIGHT.

547. TOMORROW?

548. I ACTUALLY CAN'T.

549. IT'S, UH, IT'S CHERYL'S BIRTHDAY.

550. SO...

551. WHY CAN'T YOU?

552. DON'T I HAVE TO SPEND HER BIRTHDAY WITH HER OR SOMETHING?

553. EARLY IN THE MORNING, WHAT DOES IT MATTER?

554. IS SHE A BABY?

555. HOW OLD IS SHE, LIKE, FIVE, SIX YEARS OLD?

556. WELL...

557. MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT, YEAH.

558. YOU'RE TAKING HER OUT TO DINNER, RIGHT?

559. YEAH, IT'S NOT LIKE WHAT,

560. THE WHOLE DAY, YEAH, WHY, WHY CAN'T WE PLAY GOLF?

561. I'LL COME BY IN THE MORNING,

562. I HAVEN'T SEEN THE HOUSE YET ANYHOW.

563. OKAY, GREAT, YOU'RE ON FOR TOMORROW.

564. IT'S NOT A RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY,

565. NO!

566. OKAY, LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS JASON ALEXANDER THING.

567. WHAT'S GOING ON?

568. I'M DONE WITH IT.

569. IT'S OVER.

570. HE DIDN'T WANT TO DRIVE TO YOUR OFFICE,

571. SO, THE WHOLE THING'S OFF?

572. I WENT TO HIS OFFICE TWICE, HE NEVER CAME TO MINE.

573. THIS IS JUST, YOU KNOW, EXCUSE MY LANGUAGE,

574. COMPLETELY FUCKED.

575. IT'S TOO BAD, IT WAS A GREAT IDEA.

576. YOU KNOW, UH,

577. FOR A PROJECT.

578. AND IF YOU ASK ME,

579. SAME PROJECT WITH HER.

580. YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY...

581. WORK WITH HER.

582. WORK WITH HER.

583. I MEAN, SHE DOES HAVE THE EXACT SAME PROBLEM WITH ELAINE.

584. PEOPLE ALWAYS SEE HER AS ELAINE, THEY JUST WANT HER TO DO ELAINE.

585. ALL I GOT TO DO, IT'S THE SAME THING.

586. AND I KNOW THAT SHE'S BEEN LOOKING FOR A SHOW.

587. I'M GONNA CALL JULIA.

588. GREAT.

589. LARRY.

590. LIKE THIS, HUH?

591. SO, UH, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

592. OH, UM...

593. HOW'S THE GOLF?

594. NO, I DIDN'T PLAY GOLF.

595. I DON'T PLAY GOLF ANYMORE, I DON'T PLAY GOLF ANYMORE.

596. AH, LOOK AT THAT SHIRT.

597. I'M JUST WEARING THE SHIRT, I LIKE THE SHIRT.

598. LARRY, NOBODY WOULD

599. WERE GONNA GOLF.

600. I LIKE THE SHIRT,

601. ON THIS OUTFIT.

602. FINE, OKAY, IF THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GOING TO BE,

603. THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GOING TO BE.

604. NO, IT'S NOT THE WAY IT'S GOING TO BE.

605. I JUST, I LIKE THE CLOTHES.

606. YOU DON'T HAVE TO JUST WEAR THEM ON THE GOLF COURSE.

607. OH, YOU'RE SICK.

608. YOU CAN WEAR CLOTHES, THAT, THESE ARE CLOTHES, SO?

609. STOP IT!

610. SHELLEY?

611. SHELLEY?

612. SHELLEY?

613. SHELLEY?

614. SHELLEY'S NOT HERE.

615. OH, HEY CLIFF.

616. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

617. I NEED MY, UH...

618. THAT SHE MADE FOR ME.

619. OH, YEAH, THE BRACELET.

620. YEAH, IT'S MY WIFE'S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW, SO...

621. RIGHT, RIGHT, YEAH, YOUR WIFE'S BIRTHDAY, YEAH.

622. FORGET THE BRACELET, LARRY.

623. THERE ISN'T GOING TO BE ANY BRACELET.

624. NO BRACELET, I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

625. WHAT'S GOING ON?

626. I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

627. YOU THINK I DON'T HAVE EYES, HUH, HUH?

628. I'M NOT BLIND, GET IT STRAIGHT, ALRIGHT?

629. MY EYES WORK.

630. ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

631. TALKING ABOUT?

632. YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

633. TALKING ABOUT?

634. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE LITTLE KNEE GAME WITH SHELLEY,

635. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE ARM OVER THE NECK.

636. YOU'RE BUSTED.

637. OH, YEAH, I'M BUSTED.

638. YOU PROPOSITIONED HER OUTRIGHT.

639. AT THE TABLE, OKAY?

640. TOOK ME SERIOUSLY.

641. OH, SHE DID TAKE IT SERIOUSLY,

642. I'M TAKING IT SERIOUSLY TOO, LARRY.

643. I WAS JOKING AROUND, 'CAUSE YOU GUYS WERE TALKING,

644. YOU WERE PAYING ATTENTION,

645. AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN HEAR ME SAY THAT.

646. SO, THAT'S HOW FRIENDS JOKE AROUND?

647. THE OTHER FRIEND.

648. TO SCREW ME!

649. THAT'S HOW YOU JOKE AROUND.

650. WAIT A SECOND, WAIT A SECOND, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?

651. WHAT?

652. GOLF CLOTHES!

653. I DIDN'T GOLF TODAY.

654. YOU WEREN'T GOLFING.

655. WEARING THOSE CLOTHES?

656. THE WAY THEY LOOK.

657. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE WEARING THEM?

658. THEY LOOK GOOD, PEOPLE COMPLIMENTED ME ON THEM.

659. THEY DON'T LOOK GOOD.

660. WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR, LARRY, I CAN SEE, YOU'RE A LIAR, MAN.

661. OH, I'M A LIAR.

662. YOU'RE A 2-FACED BACK-STABBING LIAR.

663. I'M JUST REALIZING THIS NOW.

664. I'M JUST SAYING IT'S ALL COMING CLEAR.

665. YOU'RE A LIAR.

666. HOW DOES THAT FEEL?

667. OKAY, I'M THE GUY WHO GOES

668. THE COBB SALAD!

669. THAT'S TRUE.

670. THAT'S ME WHO DOES THAT?

671. THAT'S TRUE.

672. THE COBB SALAD, MY FRIEND,

673. WAS INVENTED IN 1937

674. SALAD FROM MY GRANDFATHER!

675. BULLSHIT!

676. ARE YOU CALLIN' MY GRANDFATHER A LIAR?

677. YOU BETTER RUN, YOU'RE DEAD, YOU SONOFABITCH!

678. IN 1937,

679. DERBY RESTAURANT.

680. OH, WHAT'S HE GONNA SAY?

681. I HAD HIM, COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

682. OH, MY GOD, I GOT TO CALL YOU BACK.

683. OH, GOD, THIS PARTY'S GONNA BE REALLY LAME.

684. HEY, ELVIRA.

685. YOO HOO, ELVIRA.

686. IS TRYING TO TALK TO ME.

687. HEY, ELVIRA.

688. DO YOU WANT?

689. WHAT THE FUCK?

690. HEY, THAT'S SOME LANGUAGE FOR A 13-YEAR-OLD GIRL, MY GOD.

691. IMPRESSIVE, HUH?

692. OH, VERY IMPRESSIVE, YES.

693. TIME LAST NIGHT?

694. MM-HMM.

695. YEAH?

696. WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS, I'D LIKE TO TALK TO THEM?

697. THEY'RE NOT HOME.

698. THEY'RE NOT HOME?

699. NO, THEY'RE NOT.

700. OH, REALLY.

701. WITH ANYTHING?

702. I SUSPECT THEY ARE,

703. OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN'T BE OUT HERE SMOKING.

704. NO, I HAVE RESPECT FOR THE HOUSEHOLD.

705. OH, DO YOU, YEAH, I'LL BET YOU DO.

706. LARRY DAVID.

707. OUR JEWISH HOME?

708. WELL, WELL, NOW IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

709. PERFECT SENSE?

710. THIS IS YOUR DAUGHTER, ISN'T IT?

711. YES, THIS IS MY DAUGHTER.

712. HI, DADDY.

713. WELL, I THINK YOU MIGHT BE

714. YOUR DAUGHTER, LAST NIGHT, THREW EGGS AT MY HOUSE,

715. WITH TOILET PAPER,

716. WROTE "BALD ASSHOLE" ON MY DOOR...

717. BULLSHIT.

718. BECAUSE I WOULDN'T GIVE HER CANDY ON HALLOWEEN.

719. NO, SHE SAID NO.

720. SHE'S A LIAR.

721. NO, SHE'S NOT A LIAR.

722. NO, YOU'RE A LIAR.

723. YOU'RE A LIAR AS A HUMAN BEING.

724. OH, HERE WE GO.

725. CLIFF AND HIS WIFE.

726. YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT YOU TRYING TO SLEEP AROUND WITH HER.

727. YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO YOUR PEOPLE.

728. THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.

729. OH, YOU KNOW, THE PSYCHO METER'S BACK ON NOW.

730. POSTMAN, POSTMAN, COME HERE.

731. A SHONDA LARRY DAVID IS.

732. HA HA!

733. BUT YOU'RE A LOUSY HUMAN BEING.

734. A MAN IN A WHEELCHAIR.

735. A SHONDA.

736. HAVE GIVEN ME SOME CANDY.

737. YOU'RE A LOUSY JEW!

738. OH, MY.

739. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

740. THANK YOU, OH, MY GOD.

741. LARRY.

742. GET OUT, I'LL...

743. WHAT'S GOING ON, LARRY?

744. GO OUTSIDE, WAIT OUTSIDE.

745. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

746. I FORGOT.

747. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO PLAY GOLF.

748. WELL, YOU CAN'T PLAY GOLF TODAY.

749. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.

750. I MADE A PLAN.

751. RID OF HIM.

752. OH, OKAY, ALRIGHT.

753. ON THE TEE IN 10 MINUTES.

754. WHAT'S GOING ON?

755. DON'T YOU KNOCK BEFORE YOU COME IN?

756. I DID KNOCK, I'VE BEEN KNOCKING FOR A WHILE.

757. OKAY, SHH, QUIET.

758. WHAT'S GOING ON?

759. THAT WOMAN DIDN'T GIVE ME THE BRACELET, SO, I HAVE TO,

760. I HAD TO, YOU KNOW, COME UP WITH SOMETHING,

761. WITH THIS.

762. NO, WELL, THAT'S NICE.

763. I CAN'T DO IT.

764. I WENT THROUGH?

765. ANY IDEA...

766. TO TAKE A DAY OFF?

767. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA?

768. WHAT, C'MON.

769. NO, LET ME, MAYBE I CAN PLAY NINE HOLE.

770. CAN I PLAY NINE?

771. NO, C'MON.

772. I CAN'T DO IT.

773. C'MON, JUST GO.

774. HOW ABOUT SIX?

776. A Division of TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.

777. Captioned by