Curb Your Enthusiasm 2x10

1. by

2. A Division of TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.

3. OKAY, UH, HERE'S THE THING.

4. I JUST,

5. I JUST DON'T WANT TO DO THIS SHOW.

6. I JUST DON'T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE.

7. I'VE LOST ENTHUSIASM FOR IT.

8. I JUST DON'T FEEL JAZZED ABOUT IT,

9. AND, UM, I'VE KIND OF HAD IT.

10. SO LET'S JUST WALK AWAY FROM THIS.

11. IT'S JUST TOO MUCH

12. AND I'M UTTERLY EXHAUSTED, OKAY?

13. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SAYING THAT,

14. 'CAUSE IT'S SUCH A GREAT IDEA.

15. IT'S A GREAT IDEA.

16. NO, NO, I KNOW, JEFF, I KNOW IT'S A GREAT IDEA.

17. THAT'S NOT WHAT THE ISSUE IS.

18. NOW, THE PROBLEM, QUITE HONESTLY,

19. HAS BEEN YOU, LARRY.

20. YEAH.

21. I MEAN, IT'S JUST BEEN A FIASCO FROM START TO FINISH.

22. FOLLOWING YOU.

23. HE'S A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCE.

24. OKAY, IT'S HIS NOT BEING A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCE, GUYS,

25. AND, YOU KNOW,

26. LAR, COME ON.

27. THIS HAS BEEN A JOKE, IT'S BEEN TOO MUCH.

28. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY,

29. I'M SORRY THAT YOU FEEL THAT WAY.

30. IT'S A SHAME 'CAUSE EVERYONE LOVES IT.

31. YEAH, EVERYONE LOVES IT.

32. RIGHT, EXACTLY.

33. IT'S WHAT'S GONE ON AFTER THAT'S BEEN THE PROBLEM, BUT—

34. TO CONTINUE,

35. AT THIS POINT?

36. WE EVEN GO?

37. CHOICES HERE, CBS?

38. FOX?

39. NO, NOT FOX, I DON'T LIKE THEIR POLITICS.

40. CBS IS WHERE I'D LIKE TO GO WITH IT, CBS.

41. WHAT DO YOU SAY? COME ON, WE'LL DO CBS—

42. IT'S JUST THAT IT'S TIRING.

43. THIS HAS BEEN TIRING.

44. HE'S GONNA DO IT ALL, FROM NOW ON.

45. HE WILL DO IT ALL.

46. AT THE NEXT MEETING, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO SAY A WORD,

47. I'LL PITCH THE WHOLE SHOW, OKAY?

48. REALLY?

49. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO SHOW UP AND I'LL SELL IT.

50. UNTIL THERE'S A SCRIPT IN FRONT OF YOU, OKAY?

51. DO ALL OF IT?

52. THE WHOLE THING.

53. THE WHOLE PITCH.

54. YEAH, THE WHOLE PITCH.

55. COME ON, ONE MORE SHOT.

56. OH, MY GOD, ALRIGHT, CBS.

57. CBS.

58. WELL...

59. A LITTLE DICEY, HUH?

60. YEAH, YOU KNOW, I KNEW WE HAD THEM.

61. DID YOU?

62. YEAH.

63. THEY NEEDED REASSURANCE, I THINK, RIGHT?

64. THEY NEEDED REASSURANCE, THAT'S COMPLETELY WHAT IT WAS.

65. DON'T STARE, COME ON.

66. OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THAT.

67. IN THE PAPER.

68. IT'S CALLED "SCARLET LETTER PUNISHMENT".

69. "SCARLET LETTER PUNISHMENT" ?

70. POOR GUY.

71. YEAH.

72. HEY, LARRY!

73. HEY, RICK, HOW YOU DOING?

74. GOOD! GOOD.

75. THAT GUY?

76. IN YOUR HOTEL.

77. THE "W" HOTEL.

78. WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY HELLO TO HIM, YOU KNOW HIM.

79. I KNOW, HE WANTED TO DO A STOP AND CHAT.

80. I DIDN'T WANT TO DO A STOP AND CHAT.

81. "STOP AND CHAT?"

82. WITH THESE THINGS, "STOP AND CHAT?"

83. AND I DON'T KNOW HIM WELL ENOUGH FOR A STOP AND CHAT.

84. HI, HOW ARE YOU? NICE TO SEE YOU TOO, TAKE CARE, BYE.

85. NO, IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

86. IS JUST SAY HELLO, AND—

87. YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT WAS KIND OF RUDE.

88. THAT WAS NOT RUDE.

89. I DON'T HAVE TO DO A STOP AND CHAT WITH HIM.

90. AND THE PHRASINGS,

91. STOP AND CHAT.

92. LARRY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HELP US STUFF SOME ENVELOPES?

93. UM, NO.

94. REALLY?

95. THAT SHOCKS ME.

96. OOH, GUESS WHO I'M GOING TO SEE.

97. WHO?

98. KIM.

99. OR KIM PSYCHIC?

100. KIM PSYCHIC.

101. WHAT?

102. YES, I'M SO EXCITED.

103. YOU'RE GOING BACK TO THAT PSYCHIC?

104. YEAH, TO KIM.

105. CANCELLED THEIR APPOINTMENT, SO.

106. SHE WAS DEAD ON.

107. OH, SHE'S GREAT.

108. OH, YEAH.

109. GET A HOLE IN ONE IN GOLF,

110. AND I GOT A HOLE IN ONE.

111. WOW, NOW THAT'S AMAZING, SHE'S ALMOST MAGICAL.

112. HAVE A BAD TIME IN HAWAII,

113. WHICH I DID, BUT, YOU KNOW...

114. BUT THAT WASN'T SO...

115. HAVE A BAD TIME IN HAWAII.

116. YEAH, ANYBODY COULD'VE PREDICTED THAT.

117. GONNA GET PREGNANT, CARRIE,

118. AND SHE'S PREGNANT

119. AND SHE'S GONNA HAVE A BABY AND THEY'RE SO HAPPY.

120. I MEAN, IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

121. HOW WEIRD IS THAT?

122. SHE'S SPOOKY.

123. I LIKE ABOUT HER?

124. SHE EVEN, LIKE STUFF THAT'S BAD,

125. SHE DOESN'T HOLD BACK.

126. SHE'LL TELL YOU.

127. 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PSYCHICS,

128. ON THE BAD STUFF.

129. WHO'S GONNA PAY TO HEAR A BUNCH OF BAD SHIT?

130. TO HEAR THAT.

131. DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?

132. ARE THEY DOING?

133. PUTT IT.

134. EVERY HOLE,

135. THEY LINE UP PUTTS, FROM THE FRONT, FROM THE BACK.

136. THEY WALK AROUND.

137. WHAT ARE THEY PLAYING, FOR THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS?

138. I KNOW.

139. I'VE GOT A FIVE-HOUR ROUND HERE.

140. WE'RE FINE.

141. WE'RE FINE?

142. ENJOY YOURSELF. I CAN'T ENJOY MYSELF.

143. THEY CAN'T FEEL YOUR TENSION, OKAY?

144. YOU'RE JUST ALL WIRED UP.

145. YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT A MASSEUSE.

146. YOU'RE GONNA SEE HER, MY TREAT.

147. YOU'RE JUST ALL TENSE.

148. YOU NEED TO RELAX, 'CAUSE GOLF DOESN'T RELAX YOU.

149. TAKE A YEAR LIKE THIS?

150. WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT, SO?

151. MY TREAT.

152. HEY, SORRY ABOUT THIS, THEY'RE TAKING A YEAR UP THERE.

153. NO PROBLEM, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

154. I'M TELLING YOU—

155. ALRIGHT, FINE, I'LL GET IT.

156. FINALLY, THEY'RE DONE.

157. I CAN'T HIT IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE.

158. YOU KNOW, I JUST CAN'T, I JUST CAN'T.

159. OH, RIGHT THERE, WHAT'S THAT?

160. THAT'S A BAD SPOT.

161. YEAH, LET'S TRY TO BREATHE THROUGH IT, OKAY, TOGETHER?

162. IS THAT BETTER?

163. NAH, NOT REALLY.

164. YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES

165. FROM OUR CHILDHOOD.

166. HAPPENED TO YOU?

167. WELL, MY MOTHER DID THROW ME

168. WHEN I WAS AN INFANT,

169. REALLY?

170. YEAH.

171. I DIDN'T GET HURT AT ALL.

172. WOW.

173. ABOUT THIS, MAYBE?

174. YEAH, I'VE MENTIONED IT TO HER A COUPLE OF TIMES.

175. SHE'S OKAY WITH THAT?

176. YEAH, SHE SAID I WAS A LITTLE PRICK.

177. HOW'S YOUR CHI?

178. IT'S GOOD, IT'S DELICIOUS CHI.

179. THERE'S NO BLOCKAGES ANYWHERE.

180. I FEEL IT.

181. ALRIGHT.

182. YEAH? MM-HMM.

183. TO FINISH YOU OFF?

184. HOW?

185. WELL, OH, OKAY.

186. PAH, PAH...

187. HOT...

188. STOP, STOP.

189. STOP, STOP.

190. STOP?

191. STOP.

192. ARE YOU OKAY?

193. I'M JUST SAYING IF

194. TO DO A GUEST SHOT ON OUR SHOW, IT WOULD BE GREAT.

195. HEY, MIKE.

196. HEY, HOW ARE YOU, MAN?

197. GOOD TO SEE YOU.

198. GOOD TO SEE YOU.

199. ABSOLUTELY, ABSOLUTELY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

200. IS THIS, UH—

201. WHAT'S GOING ON?

202. WHAT'S GOING ON?

203. WHAT IN THE GOD'S NAME IS WRONG WITH YOU?

204. YOU'RE NUTS, YOU'RE NUTS.

205. TO WAIT OUTSIDE?

206. NO, I DON'T WANT YOU TO WAIT OUTSIDE.

207. TO HEAR THIS, OKAY?

208. OKAY.

209. AND, YOU KNOW, AFTER 45 MINUTES I'M ON MY BACK,

210. SHE SAYS, "DO YOU WANT ME TO FINISH YOU OFF?"

211. AND I GO, "WELL, OKAY".

212. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL SHE'S TALKING ABOUT!

213. I THINK SHE'S GONNA WORK AND THAT'S GONNA BE IT!

214. AND STARTS, YOU KNOW, PUMPING AWAY.

215. WAIT A MINUTE, ARE YOU MESSING AROUND WITH ME?

216. NO, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT.

217. IS THIS A GAG?

218. 'CAUSE MY CHARACTER ON MY SHOW

219. A HAPPY ENDING.

220. ON YOUR SHOW?

221. YOU DON'T WATCH MY SHOW?

222. YOU DON'T?

223. NO.

224. OH.

225. IN MY MOUTH, ALRIGHT.

226. I'M SORRY, HOW'S THE SHOW GOING?

227. YOU DON'T WATCH IT, WHY DO YOU CARE?

228. I'M JUST MAKING CONVERSATION.

229. I KNOW YOU ARE.

230. THAT'S WHY I'M NOT THROWING IT BACK YOUR WAY.

231. DID YOU ENJOY IT?

232. I STOPPED IT.

233. YOU STOPPED IT? WHO STOPS A WHACK OFF?

234. AFTER 12 PUMPS.

235. YOU'RE STILL UPTIGHT.

236. OR, LIKE, A THOUSAND PUMPS.

237. I DON'T KNOW HOW I DID IT.

238. HOW DID YOU DO THAT? WHAT DID YOU SUMMON?

239. I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW HOW I DID IT.

240. IF I STOPPED AT 12 PUMPS, I WOULD TELL MY WIFE.

241. I'D GO HOME THAT NIGHT AND SAY, "HONEY, I WAS GETTING A MASSAGE

242. AND I TOOK 12 PUMPS AND I STOPPED, 'CAUSE I LOVE YOU."

243. I WILL NEVER EVER, EVER TELL HER.

244. AND, YOU KNOW WHAT, IF YOUR WIFE EVER FINDS OUT,

245. YOU'RE A NOBLE MAN, YOU MADE IT STOP.

246. SHE'S NOT GONNA FIND OUT, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

247. ALRIGHT.

248. OH, MY GOD.

249. SHE'S GOT AN APPOINTMENT WITH THAT, UM...

250. THAT PSYCHIC TODAY.

251. PSYCHIC?

252. ABOUT THAT?

253. YEAH.

254. HE WAS GONNA HIT A HOLE IN ONE,

255. AND HE DID.

256. COULD KNOW SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

257. SHE KNEW HOLE IN ONE.

258. FROM GOING.

259. LARRY, GOOD SEEING YOU.

260. SEE YOU, MIKE.

261. DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE CBS MEETING.

262. CBS, TODAY, YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU THERE, DON'T BE LATE.

263. HEY, SHE'S GREAT, DO YOU WANT HER NUMBER?

264. ABSOLUTELY.

265. ABSOLUTELY.

266. CHERYL?

267. YES, I'M UP HERE!

268. HI. HI.

269. HOW WAS YOUR MASSAGE?

270. GOOD.

271. GOOD, GUESS WHAT?

272. FOR US TONIGHT.

273. WE'RE GONNA CELEBRATE YOUR CBS DEAL.

274. IT'S NOT EVEN—

275. LISTEN, I HAVE A LIMO THAT'S GONNA PICK US UP.

276. IT'S GONNA TAKE US TO MOHO FOR DINNER AT THE "W" HOTEL.

277. AND THEN IF WE'RE, YOU KNOW, FEELING FRISKY,

278. THEN WE CAN STAY ALL NIGHT, WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT TO.

279. THE PLACE, RICK CRANE,

280. AND I DIDN'T DO A STOP AND CHAT.

281. AND I JUST KEPT WALKING,

282. HELLO, BUT—

283. WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP?

284. IT'S TOO AWKWARD AND HORRIBLE TO DO THOSE STOP AND CHATS.

285. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

286. WE'RE PROBABLY NOT EVEN GONNA RUN INTO HIM.

287. THE DEAL WITH CBS, WE HAVE THE MEETING TODAY.

288. IT'S NOT A DONE DEAL OR ANYTHING.

289. I DON'T EVEN KNOW—

290. OH, COME ON, IT'S AS GOOD AS DONE, RIGHT?

291. MY KEYS?

292. WITH THE PSYCHIC.

293. I'M ACTUALLY RUNNING LATE.

294. OH, OH, I GOT THEM, I GOT THEM.

295. ALRIGHT, WELL, I WILL SEE YOU LATER.

296. HONEY, I GOT A BETTER IDEA.

297. WHAT?

298. LET'S FOOL AROUND.

299. RIGHT NOW?

300. LISTEN, I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT.

301. FORGET THE PSYCHIC, COME ON, LET'S FOOL AROUND.

302. TO GET THIS.

303. NO, NO, NOT RIGHT NOW!

304. NO, MEANS NO!

305. GOD, NO, SAVE IT FOR TONIGHT!

306. SAVE IT FOR TONIGHT!

307. LARRY, NO, LISTEN, I HAVE GOT TO GET GOING.

308. YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME LATE.

309. I'VE GOT A LUMP AND I'M AFRAID SHE'S GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT IT!

310. WHAT I'M SAYING?

311. I'M DYING!

312. AND THAT'S THE NAME OF THE SHOW, "AREN'T YOU EVELYN?"

313. I LIKE THE EDGE OF IT, BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY,

314. BUT IT'S A LITTLE QUIRKY, TOO.

315. THIS IS ALL LARRY'S IDEA, BY THE WAY.

316. AND PITCHED IT,

317. AND, UM, LAR, HELLO?

318. HELLO? WE'RE PITCHING.

319. YES, SO.

320. OR WATER OR SOMETHING?

321. OH, SHE DID, I DON'T WANT ANY,

322. YOU'D LIKE AN ESPRESSO?

323. A LATTE HERE.

324. I'M OKAY, THANK YOU.

325. ALRIGHT.

326. YOU KNOW, THE THING THAT'S HARD,

327. IS, UM...

328. IS THAT, YOU KNOW, IT'S GREAT,

329. IDENTIFIES ME WITH ELAINE.

330. OKAY, SO, FOR INSTANCE,

331. RECENTLY, I WAS SKIING WITH MY FAMILY IN JACKSON HOLE.

332. THE HELMET, THE GOGGLES,

333. THE BIG, BAGGY CLOTHES, COVERED IN SNOW, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...

334. OH, I SEE YOUR HUSBAND, LARRY.

335. YEAH, HE GETTING A MASSAGE.

336. RIGHT.

337. OH, HE GETTING MORE THAN JUST A MASSAGE.

338. HE'S VERY HAPPY.

339. YEAH, HE HAVING SEX WITH HER HAND!

340. OH, SHE PUMP 32 TIMES, THEN WOOSH!

341. SO, THAT IS AN EXAMPLE, DON'T YOU THINK?

342. LARRY, LARRY, ISN'T THAT A GOOD EXAMPLE OF, YOU KNOW,

343. TRYING TO...

344. LIKE, UM, RIGHT, LIKE, THE SKIING THING.

345. LIKE, WHEN SHE WAS SKIING, UM...

346. NO, NO, NO, THAT'S JUST WHAT I SAID.

347. I KNOW, I KNOW, AND SHE HAD THE PROBLEM.

348. NO, NO, NO, I SAID THAT, SO—

349. GONNA COME UP ON THE SHOW.

350. JUST LIKE THAT.

351. SO, I'M THRILLED THAT YOU'RE HERE.

352. I'M A HUGE FAN OF BOTH OF YOU, OBVIOUSLY.

353. THANK YOU.

354. AND I LOVE YOUR IDEA,

355. TO BE IN BUSINESS WITH YOU.

356. GREAT, FANTASTIC!

357. TALK FURTHER ABOUT CASTING AND FURTHER, YOU KNOW...

358. I'VE KINDA GOTTA TAKE OFF, I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

359. THANK YOU.

360. NICE TO SEE YOU.

361. WE'LL BE IN TOUCH.

362. HOW DID IT GO?

363. OH, HEY, UM...

364. IT WENT WELL, I THINK, UH...

365. LIKED THE SHOW.

366. I THINK, UM, I THINK THEY WANT TO DO IT.

367. AREN'T YOU GONNA ASK ME HOW MY APPOINTMENT WENT?

368. OH RIGHT, THE PSYCHIC, HOW DID IT GO?

369. WELL, I KNOW EVERYTHING, LARRY.

370. WHAT HAPPENED.

371. WHAT HAPPENED?

372. WHAT HAPPENED, WHAT HAPPENED?

373. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?

374. YEAH.

375. WHAT, WHAT HAPPENED?

376. THAT YOU'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR.

377. I'M NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR!

378. I KNOW ABOUT IT, SHE TOLD ME ABOUT IT.

379. SHE TOLD YOU WHAT, WHAT DID SHE TELL YOU?

380. THAT'S INSANE!

381. SHE SAID THAT YOU'RE

382. WITH LONG, RED HAIR

383. OF A STAR.

384. TOUCHED ANOTHER WOMAN, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

385. I'M NOT HAVING ANY AFFAIR!

386. YOU'RE NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR.

387. NO.

388. A STORY LIKE THAT?

389. I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE WOULD, MAYBE SHE'S AN ANTI-SEMITE.

390. I DON'T THINK SO.

391. YOU DON'T THINK SO?

392. OH, I'M SURE THERE'S SOME KOREAN ANTI-SEMITES.

393. SHE'S NOT KOREAN.

394. SHE'S AMERICAN.

395. SHE'S AMERICAN?

396. HER NAME WAS KIM.

397. HER NAME IS KIM.

398. THE POINT.

399. HAVING AN AFFAIR.

400. SHE'S WRONG.

401. VERY SURE OF IT.

402. NO, IT'S NOT TRUE, I'M NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR.

403. ANOTHER WOMAN.

404. NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER.

405. HAVING AN AFFAIR,

406. YOU'D PROBABLY LIE ABOUT IT, WOULDN'T YOU?

407. I WOULD.

408. THIS JUST ISN'T A LIE?

409. THE TRUTH ABOUT THAT,

410. IT MEANS THAT I'M JUST

411. THE TRUTH ABOUT ANYTHING.

412. NO AFFAIR, SORRY.

413. PROMISE.

414. WHO'S GONNA HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH ME? I'M NOT A COOL GUY.

415. TO DO THAT.

416. THAT'S TRUE.

417. I COULDN'T DO THAT, I WOULDN'T KNOW HOW, WHAT WOULD I DO?

418. I DON'T KNOW, YOU WOULD NOT BE GOOD AT IT.

419. TO EVEN PUT A MOVE ON YOU.

420. I KNOW.

421. SHE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY HEALTH, RIGHT?

422. NO, NO.

423. COME ON.

424. SERIOUSLY.

425. I KNOW, 'CAUSE I HAD THIS

426. WE'RE STILL GONNA HAVE A GREAT NIGHT.

427. COME ON, I WANT TO, WE'RE GONNA CELEBRATE.

428. I GOT THE THING, CBS, COME ON!

429. I KNOW, I KNOW.

430. OH, COME ON, DON'T LISTEN TO THIS NONSENSE.

431. THANK YOU.

432. YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.

433. OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT, I GOT IT.

434. I GOT IT, IT'S MY JOB.

435. UM, SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?

436. I'LL BE IN THE CAR.

437. YOU'RE WAITING IN THE CAR?

438. I'LL BE WAITING IN THE CAR, I'LL WAIT FOR YOU.

439. OKAY, WE'LL BE A COUPLE OF HOURS, I GUESS.

440. THAT'S GREAT.

441. IS THAT ALRIGHT?

442. THAT'S FINE, THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.

443. ENJOY YOUR MEAL.

444. GREAT, WE'RE GOING TO.

445. YOU'LL BE ALRIGHT HERE AND EVERYTHING?

446. I'LL BE FINE.

447. OKAY, THANK YOU.

448. LOOK AT THE SIZE, WHY'D YOU GET A STRETCH LIMO? IT'S GIGANTIC.

449. 'CAUSE WE'RE CELEBRATING, THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO.

450. I KNOW, BUT WE COULD'VE GOT A TOWN CAR.

451. BUT THAT DOESN'T SAY WE'RE CELEBRATING.

452. WHAT IS THIS?

453. OF A LINE.

454. I'M NOT GONNA WAIT FOR THIS.

455. JUST WAIT YOUR TURN.

456. I'M JOKING, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

457. YEAH, I'M GONNA PUSH THEM OUT OF THE WAY.

458. WELL, YOU DON'T KNOW SOMETIMES.

459. WELL, GOOD EVENING.

460. HI, SO NICE TO SEE YOU.

461. JOIN US.

462. HOW'S IT GOING?

463. GOOD.

464. I'LL SEAT YOU MYSELF.

465. GREAT, GREAT.

466. RIGHT THIS WAY.

467. I HOPE THIS TABLE'S TO YOUR LIKING.

468. VERY GOOD, THANK YOU. SURE, THANK YOU.

469. MY PLEASURE.

470. IN HERE, NO?

471. YEAH, ISN'T IT.

472. THIS IS LOVELY.

473. THIS GUY?

474. HUH?

475. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

476. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

477. WITH THIS GUY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

478. HE'S BEEN COMPLETELY SNUBBING ME.

479. IT'S NOT EVEN SUBTLE, IT'S RIDICULOUS.

480. THANK YOU.

481. HI, I'LL BE BACK FOR YOUR DRINK ORDER.

482. OKAY, THANKS.

483. AND TALK TO PEOPLE,

484. LIKE THERE'S SO MUCH INFORMATION TO EXCHANGE.

485. "HELLO, HOW YOU DOING?"

486. "HOW ARE YOU?" "GOOD."

487. "HOW'S IT GOING WITH YOU?" "GOOD, UH-HUH."

488. "OH, OKAY, WELL, TAKE IT EASY."

489. GET AN APPETIZER,

490. STRAIGHT TO THE MAIN DISH?

491. I DON'T KNOW.

492. ABOUT THAT DRIVER,

493. FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF HOURS?

494. THAT'S HIS NIGHT?

495. THAT'S WHY HE GETS PAID, HE SITS THERE AND WAITS.

496. IT'S NOT A BAD JOB.

497. I KNOW.

498. BUT, I'M UNCOMFORTABLE WITH HIM WAITING FOR US.

499. TO HURRY, YOU KNOW?

500. DIDN'T YOU USED TO DRIVE A LIMO?

501. DID YOU DO WAITING? YOU HAD TO WAIT.

502. YEAH, I KNOW, AND I HATED IT.

503. I'VE DECIDED THAT THIS IS MY FAVORITE RESTAURANT.

504. IT'S REALLY GOOD, ISN'T IT?

505. THE SHRIMP IS SO GOOD, I CAN'T GET OVER IT.

506. SHRIMP ARE GREAT, BUT I HATE ORDERING THE SAME THING.

507. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

508. WELL, WE BOTH GOT THE SAME DISH.

509. WHY?

510. I WOULDN'T GIVE YOU ANY OF MINE IF I HAD SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

511. ABOUT DINNER FOR, UM,

512. WHAT'S HIS NAME, GREG, THE DRIVER?

513. BUY HIM DINNER?

514. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

515. THE LIMO GUY?

516. YEAH.

517. TALK ABOUT GREG?

518. OH, HE'S PROBABLY HUNGRY OUT THERE.

519. ORDER A DINNER FOR HIM?

520. NO, I THINK IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT.

521. WELL, I GOT SOME LEFTOVERS HERE.

522. MAYBE I'LL JUST GET HIM A DOGGIE BAG OR SOMETHING.

523. IS THAT BAD?

524. I DON'T HAVE TO EAT THESE TWO SHRIMP.

525. FINISH THAT SHRIMP? YOUR LAST SHRIMP?

526. UH, YES, I AM GONNA FINISH THAT, THANK YOU.

527. BOY, I'M ALMOST FULL ALREADY.

528. AND YOU'RE A SHRIMP AHEAD OF ME.

529. WHAT DO YOU THINK, ARE YOU GONNA EAT THAT?

530. NO, I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO THE LIMO DRIVER.

531. WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO, YOU WANT TO FINISH IT, GO AHEAD.

532. NO, NO, NO, I DON'T WANT IT NOW.

533. NO, I'M TELLING YOU I'M DONE.

534. HEY.

535. HEY, I GOT YOU SOME FOOD.

536. OH, THAT'S GREAT, THANKS.

537. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

538. YEAH, THERE'S SOME

539. LIKE, LEFTOVERS?

540. WELL, THERE'S SHRIMP, AND...

541. YEAH.

542. THERE'S SOME RICE IN THERE.

543. BUT, I DIDN'T TOUCH ANY OF THE SHRIMP.

544. VERY CAREFULLY.

545. IT'S ALL CLEAN, IT'S ALL GOOD.

546. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT, THERE'S NO FORK, THERE'S NO NAPKIN.

547. I CAN'T EAT THIS.

548. I'M SORRY, I FORGOT THE FORK.

549. I'LL GO...

550. I'LL GO GET YOU A FORK AND A NAPKIN.

551. THAT'D BE GREAT.

552. SORRY.

553. THAT'S FINE.

554. WE SHOULD'VE GOT THE GUY A DINNER.

555. LIKE THAT, THAT WAS CRAZY.

556. THAT YOU GOT HIM SOMETHING.

557. JUST SIT DOWN, HONEY.

558. GET HIM A FORK.

559. I DIDN'T GIVE HIM A FORK.

560. YOU HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN YOUR PIE YET?

561. NO, I'M WAITING FOR YOU.

562. OH, OKAY.

563. I'LL JUST GIVE HIM A FORK, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

564. YOU'RE GOING BACK OUT THERE?

565. THE GUY A FORK.

566. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, OKAY? I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

567. OH, HEY, LARRY, HOW'S IT GOING?

568. OH HEY, THE FOOD WAS SENSATIONAL.

569. EXCELLENT.

570. YEAH, REALLY SPECTACULAR.

571. WONDERFUL, DO YOU MIND IN YOUR POCKET?

572. A PEN.

573. OF THE OTHER POCKET.

574. OH, I GOT A NAPKIN AND A FORK.

575. THERE'S A DRIVER OUTSIDE.

576. FOR SUGGESTING THIS,

577. YOU'RE WALKING OUT WITH OUR SILVERWARE.

578. I AM, IN A WAY, BUT I'M NOT STEALING IT.

579. I'M JUST BORROWING IT

580. AND LETTING HIM EAT HIS MEAL, THEN I'LL COME BACK AND GET IT.

581. WE'RE STILL HAVING DESSERT.

582. I'M JUST GONNA GIVE HIM TWO MINUTES,

583. AND I'LL COME BACK AND GET THE FORK.

584. I CALL THAT STEALING.

585. OKAY, I KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT.

586. YOU'RE UPSET, THE OTHER DAY WHEN I SAW YOU ON THE STREET,

587. AND I DIDN'T DO A LITTLE STOP AND CHAT,

588. YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT GOOD AT LITTLE,

589. SMALL TALK,

590. "HELLO, HOW ARE YOU", KIND OF THING.

591. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

592. RIGHT THERE?

593. WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

594. I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICE.

595. YOU'LL BE APPEARING MUNICIPAL COURT.

596. JUDGE KATZ.

597. THAT'S A LOVELY BUILDING.

598. YEAH, YOU'RE GONNA LIKE THAT.

599. SIGN RIGHT HERE, PLEASE.

600. ALRIGHT, I GUESS

601. I PROBABLY SHOULD'VE LET THE GUY EAT WITH HIS HANDS.

602. THAT WOULD'VE BEEN, PROBABLY THE BETTER THING TO DO, DON'T YOU THINK?

603. AND LICK IT OFF HIM.

604. THAT'S REALLY WHAT I SHOULD'VE DONE.

605. SIR, YOU'LL HAVE

606. TO JUDGE KATZ.

607. IS ON THE BACK.

608. OKAY.

609. A GOOD EVENING.

610. YES, YOU, TOO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

611. OH, GOD, OH, THE DRIVER.

612. SHIT, I COMPLETELY FORGOT.

613. I AM SO SORRY.

614. THE POLICE.

615. BEFORE A JUDGE!

616. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I'M OKAY, THANKS.

617. DID YOU EAT THE FOOD?

618. NO, I'LL GET SOMETHING ON THE WAY HOME.

619. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I'M GOOD.

620. I'M SORRY.

621. SO, UH, I'LL MAYBE CALL YOU NEXT WEEK?

622. THAT WAS GREAT, THANK YOU.

623. BYE.

624. EXCUSE ME.

625. I'M SORRY, I KNOW THIS SOUNDS STRANGE.

626. OF A STAR?

627. HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

628. WOW, YEAH, ON MY ARM, THAT'S WILD.

629. CHERYL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

630. LARRY?

631. ALRIGHT, IN THE MATTER OF LARRY DAVID,

632. THE PRESENCE OF MR. DAVID.

633. HERE FOR SENTENCING.

634. MR. DAVID, YOU WISH I IMPOSE SENTENCE ON YOU?

635. UM, YES, JUDGE KATZ.

636. AND MAY I SAY SHABBAT SHALOM.

637. TO A WORKING MAN,

638. WHO WAS A DRIVER, A LIMOUSINE DRIVER,

639. AND HE HAD DINNER, TO EAT THE DINNER,

640. SO, ALL I WAS DOING WAS

641. SO HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO

642. HIS FACE AND HIS CLOTHING,

643. AND, UH, IT WAS ONLY OUT OF

644. AND I DIDN'T STOP AND HAVE A LITTLE CHAT WITH HIM.

645. I DON'T LIKE TO MAKE LITTLE CHIT CHAT ON THE STREET.

646. CONVERSATION WITH PEOPLE.

647. IT'S TOUCHING WHAT YOU TELL ME.

648. WHAT YOU WANTED,

649. BECAUSE OF YOUR CELEBRITY,

650. WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES.

651. MR. DAVID, I NEED YOUR HELP IN THIS.

652. OBVIOUSLY, A FINE ISN'T GOING TO DO ANYTHING.

653. IT JUST WON'T MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU, YOU HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY.

654. SO, WHAT DO YOU

655. THAT I'M NOT ACCORDING YOU

656. ANY SPECIAL TREATMENT?

657. ON SATURDAY MORNINGS,

658. AND YARMULKES.

659. A FITTING PUNISHMENT?

660. ISN'T IT A JOY?

661. WELL, TEMPLE CAN BE AS YOU WELL KNOW.

662. YOU KNOW, MR. DAVID, I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS.

663. I'M GONNA DO?

664. I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A SENTENCE

665. THAT YOU WILL NEVER, EVER DO THIS AGAIN.

666. HI, LARRY.

667. I DIDN'T BEAT MY WIFE.

668. HOW'S THE SHRIMP, AL?

669. FROM THE CHINESE RESTAURANT?

670. EVENING.

671. IN MY PANTS.

672. A WATER BOTTLE!

673. HERE'S A GOOD QUESTION FOR "WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE".

674. WHAT IDIOT RUNS ABC?

675. BUT I'M NOT GONNA—

676. UM, IT'S...

677. IT'S A LONG STORY.

678. I WAS TRYING TO HELP A DRIVER, A WORKING MAN,

679. SO, HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO EAT WITH HIS HANDS.

680. MISS "CBS BIGWIG."

682. A Division of TIME WARNER ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.

683. Captioned by

684. Captioned by