1. Did I do something?
Why do I have to meet you?Copy !req
2. I don't really see what the benefit is...Copy !req
3. in telling me in person, as opposed to
telling me on the phone. It's the same thing.Copy !req
4. Just pretend we're blind.
What's the matter with that?Copy !req
5. That's what it is for them.Copy !req
6. My wife is home.Copy !req
7. - Hello.
- Hi! Who are you talking to?Copy !req
8. - Richard Lewis.
- Get off.Copy !req
9. I've been ordered off the phone.Copy !req
10. Okay, I'll meet you there in 10 minutes.Copy !req
11. All right, very good.Copy !req
12. What did the doctor say?Copy !req
13. He said that I have dermatitis.Copy !req
14. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
15. But if I get this filled,
and put it on, it'll be fine.Copy !req
16. You don't have to back up.
I don't think it's contagious.Copy !req
17. Is it contagious?Copy !req
18. - How'd you get that? What is it?
- I have no idea, it's a virus.Copy !req
19. But he said if I take this three times a day,
rub it on, it'll be fine.Copy !req
20. I'm passing it over to you because
I'm hoping you'll take it to the drugstore.Copy !req
21. I have to meet Richard Lewis first.
He wants to talk to me about something.Copy !req
22. God knows, and...Copy !req
23. - I thought we were going to dinner.
- No, we are.Copy !req
24. So, I'll get the prescription filled,
after I talk to him...Copy !req
25. and can I meet you at the restaurant,
because it doesn't pay...Copy !req
26. Then we'll have two cars...Copy !req
27. But I'll have to come all the way back
to get you. It's right by the restaurant.Copy !req
28. I'd rather not take my car.Copy !req
29. Can't Rosa take you?
She drives right by there.Copy !req
30. - Okay, that's fine.
- Okay?Copy !req
31. So, at 6:00, then?Copy !req
32. - 6:00.
- Okay.Copy !req
33. At the Byzantine,
and I'll get your thing filled...Copy !req
34. - Okay, thanks.
- All right.Copy !req
35. Larry, thanks for coming out.
I know you're busy, and...Copy !req
36. I'm just curious
as to what you wanna tell me.Copy !req
37. It's not easy for me to say this.
It's been bugging me for a while...Copy !req
38. and I think we're at
some kind of crossroads.Copy !req
39. You don't call me. I'm always initiating.Copy !req
40. I ask you to do things, I ask you...Copy !req
41. Whatever I do,
it's always coming from my end...Copy !req
42. and I feel like, if I never called you...Copy !req
43. I'd fall off the face of the earth,
and we wouldn't be friends anymore.Copy !req
44. My shrink actually told me
to confront you on this, and I am. That's it.Copy !req
45. - Can I be honest with you?
- I hope so.Copy !req
46. - It's Sofia, it's your girlfriend.
- Sofia?Copy !req
47. I don't get along with her...Copy !req
48. and so I tend not to
call, or get together...Copy !req
49. You actually think that's fair?
I mean, this is my girlfriend.Copy !req
50. I don't know if it's fair
but that's what's stopping me.Copy !req
51. - That's why I haven't been calling.
- She's an extension of my life.Copy !req
52. It's like... I love your wife.Copy !req
53. She's embarrassed me a couple of times,
even in jest, and I don't say:Copy !req
54. "I don't wanna be your friend anymore."Copy !req
55. I don't know, I just don't think
a friend can just bolt from a friendship.Copy !req
56. Cheryl and I are going out to dinner tonight.
Why don't the two of you join us?Copy !req
57. - Why do you wanna do that?
- 'Cause I wanna make up, start all over.Copy !req
58. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
59. You're not just doing this to...
I appreciate it, but she's part of my life.Copy !req
60. I know, and I wanna try
and be friends with her.Copy !req
61. This is a very nice gesture. Tonight?Copy !req
62. Fuck, I can't. We're doing something early.Copy !req
63. Can you come over after dinner,
have coffee and dessert at our place?Copy !req
64. Yeah, we wanna have dessert.
We'll come over for dessert and coffee.Copy !req
65. Justin?Copy !req
66. Lewis.Copy !req
67. - How you doing? Hey, man.
- Good to see you, man, what's happening?Copy !req
68. I'm sorry, I'm funky.Copy !req
69. Dr. Grambs, this is my friend, Larry David.Copy !req
70. - This is my dermatologist.
- Really?Copy !req
71. What, for 15 years already?Copy !req
72. Even with
the whole affirmative action thing?Copy !req
73. I'm sorry. I beg your pardon, what?Copy !req
74. - What do you mean?
- It was a joke.Copy !req
75. What do you mean,
"The whole affirmative action thing?"Copy !req
76. It was a joke.Copy !req
77. He's like a buddy.Copy !req
78. I know him, he's a sweetheart.Copy !req
79. The implication being that I wasn't
good enough to be a dermatologist?Copy !req
80. No, come on, it was joke.Copy !req
81. He's a liberal, he's like you and me.Copy !req
82. So, if I wasn't black,
he would have said the same thing, or not?Copy !req
83. Do you see my point?Copy !req
84. I see it in a historical sense,
but not in a nice-day sense.Copy !req
85. You know, Richard, I've worked too hard
and too long at this. I can't do it.Copy !req
86. I don't know what his trip is,
but I can't do it.Copy !req
87. I don't have any trip. No, it was joke!Copy !req
88. Holy shit! What hit you?Copy !req
89. It was a joke.Copy !req
90. I know it's a joke, but you sounded...Copy !req
91. like Pat Buchanan's gym partner.Copy !req
92. I was just trying to be affable.Copy !req
93. I'll see you tonight.
Hopefully, we'll resolve, you know...Copy !req
94. I tend to say stupid things
to black people sometimes.Copy !req
95. That's, like, gonna be in the time capsule.Copy !req
96. I'll see you later on.Copy !req
97. I was just trying to be affable.Copy !req
98. I'm so glad you're here.
I know, this place is crazy.Copy !req
99. There's no tables,
you couldn't get a reservation...Copy !req
100. we're on a waiting list.Copy !req
101. Can you give me my prescription?Copy !req
102. I think I'm gonna go to the ladies' room,
and put some on.Copy !req
103. - What?
- I forgot it.Copy !req
104. I'm sorry, I was
so discombobulated because...Copy !req
105. Oh, my God, I completely humiliated...Copy !req
106. - What happened?
- I was with Richard Lewis...Copy !req
107. and we were talking, and then
he ran into his friend, this black doctor...Copy !req
108. and I made some terrible joke
about affirmative action.Copy !req
109. It was beyond awful.Copy !req
110. I'm sure you're making it out
to be more than it was.Copy !req
111. I'm making it out to be less, believe me.
And he took it the wrong way.Copy !req
112. Why would you even
make a joke about that?Copy !req
113. I don't know, I was trying to be affable.
I was trying too hard.Copy !req
114. Why even joke about it?Copy !req
115. I made a mistake.
It was a stupid thing to say.Copy !req
116. I'm a schmuck. I did a schmucky thing.Copy !req
117. - Did you apologize?
- Of course I apologized.Copy !req
118. I have to say, I'm not real happy
right now, because...Copy !req
119. We'll have dinner
and then we'll go right to the drugstore.Copy !req
120. - No problem.
- The problem is...Copy !req
121. it's gonna be hours before we get there...Copy !req
122. because we're not even
gonna have a seat until, like, an hour.Copy !req
123. - Really?
- Yeah, and I'm starving.Copy !req
124. - Let's try something here.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
125. - You have a little plan?
- I got a little plan.Copy !req
126. What do you think?Copy !req
127. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
128. - Men do this, right?
- I've seen men do it.Copy !req
129. - Haven't we seen this?
- I've seen men do it in movies.Copy !req
130. Good evening, sir.
Welcome to the Byzantine.Copy !req
131. I was curious about...
How long is the wait?Copy !req
132. I'm afraid it looks
like 45 minutes to an hour.Copy !req
133. 45 minutes to an hour. No way to get in...Copy !req
134. No, we're very crowded this evening, sir.Copy !req
135. My wife's itching, you know...Copy !req
136. - Right now we're very full.
- Nothing else can be done?Copy !req
137. Nothing that I can think of, sir.Copy !req
138. Things are done, right, aren't things done?
I hear things are done.Copy !req
139. From time to time.Copy !req
140. Anything you can do...Copy !req
141. Actually, I think we can accommodate you
right now. Would you like to follow me?Copy !req
142. Thank you.Copy !req
143. Thank you very much.Copy !req
144. - Enjoy your dinner.
- Okay!Copy !req
145. - I'm pretty impressed.
- Come on, give it to me!Copy !req
146. - I'm very, very impressed. I really am.
- No big deal.Copy !req
147. I am extremely attracted to you right now.Copy !req
148. - That's 'cause it's criminal.
- Is it?Copy !req
149. Women are attracted to criminals,
and they do that all the time.Copy !req
150. You could do that. Just walk around,
cut in line any time you want.Copy !req
151. All right. Do it all the time,
and we'll never have to wait.Copy !req
152. Should I feel guilty about it?Copy !req
153. Why, because all those people
are still waiting?Copy !req
154. I can't stop to think about it
because I'm starving.Copy !req
155. How can a handicapped person
use a non-motorized wheelchair?Copy !req
156. I don't get that.Copy !req
157. What's the point to it?
To me, that's your big priority.Copy !req
158. Maybe he likes the exercise.Copy !req
159. - I'm sure you get used to it.
- Can't he get one that has both?Copy !req
160. Motor and non-motor?Copy !req
161. You can do both. You want exercise
or the motor, you got it.Copy !req
162. This way has no options.
You gotta do this the whole time.Copy !req
163. If you're not in a hurry
to get somewhere, why not?Copy !req
164. - There's Ted Harbert.
- Who's Ted Harbert?Copy !req
165. He used to be the president of ABC.
Now he runs NBC Studios.Copy !req
166. I have to go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna have to walk right by that table.Copy !req
167. - What's wrong, you don't like him?
- He just makes the worst small talk...Copy !req
168. and, it's gonna be so...
I'll never get out of there.Copy !req
169. Just don't stop.
Just keep walking and say hello.Copy !req
170. You have to stop.
You can't just say hello, and walk on.Copy !req
171. - You know what?
- Sea bass.Copy !req
172. There's a restaurant two doors down.
I'm gonna go in there.Copy !req
173. I'm gonna go to the bathroom in there.Copy !req
174. You're gonna leave this restaurant
to go use the bathroom somewhere else?Copy !req
175. Are you out of your mind?Copy !req
176. No, I don't wanna say hello.
I don't like those hellos.Copy !req
177. Men's room?Copy !req
178. Larry, Larry David.Copy !req
179. - How you doing?
- Okay.Copy !req
180. Do you remember me, Denise Pendergrass?
We had a meeting a few years ago?Copy !req
181. I met with you about
that film project you were doing.Copy !req
182. Sour Grapes, the line producer.Copy !req
183. - Yes, I remember.
- That's right.Copy !req
184. You know what? I'm so glad I ran into you.Copy !req
185. 'Cause we had a really nice meeting.
You said my resume looked great...Copy !req
186. and you said I was qualified,
and then, I didn't hear from you.Copy !req
187. All these years, I wondered what happened,
'cause I really wanted to work with you.Copy !req
188. And, what was the person's name
that got that job?Copy !req
189. - What was...
- Barry.Copy !req
190. - Barry, a friend of yours?
- Friend of my wife.Copy !req
191. - A friend of your wife. A black friend?
- No.Copy !req
192. This is the thing.Copy !req
193. I had a couple of margaritas,
but I'm not gonna hold back.Copy !req
194. I just was wondering.Copy !req
195. Why do you have a problem
giving somebody like me a job?Copy !req
196. What? A problem?
What are you talking about?Copy !req
197. There's a lot of people
interviewed for that.Copy !req
198. Yeah, but, you and I, we had a rapport.Copy !req
199. We did, but the guy knew my wife,
that's all it was.Copy !req
200. I know what you're implying,
but that's really awful.Copy !req
201. - What you're saying is terrible.
- What I'm saying is...Copy !req
202. I watched your show, Seinfeld, for seven,
eight years, and not one black person.Copy !req
203. I lived in New York for years,
there's a plethora of black people there...Copy !req
204. but, somehow, Elaine or Jerry
never had any black girlfriends.Copy !req
205. In their circle of friends,
nobody looks like me.Copy !req
206. What is that about?
Is it a black thing with Larry David?Copy !req
207. There's no black thing! It's a nothing!Copy !req
208. No, a sister like me
can see through things like this.Copy !req
209. And I want you to know,
that I got your number now.Copy !req
210. There's no number, you don't have
a number! I don't have a number!Copy !req
211. I saw Sour Grapes,
and the title was very apropos.Copy !req
212. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise
that I did not get that job.Copy !req
213. I just hope you have a very nice dinner.
Thank you, Mr. Larry David.Copy !req
214. - Where have you been?
- Sorry.Copy !req
215. We haven't even ordered, and I'm dying.Copy !req
216. I got accosted by this woman
outside the men's room, at this restaurant...Copy !req
217. and she interviewed for a job on Sour...Copy !req
218. - Hey, Ted!
- How are you?Copy !req
219. - Good. How you doing?
- Nice seeing you.Copy !req
220. - This is my wife, Cheryl. This is Ted Harbert.
- Hi.Copy !req
221. Nice to see you. How you doing?
You guys just sitting down?Copy !req
222. Yeah. Just about to order.Copy !req
223. So, you been playing any golf lately?Copy !req
224. - Yeah, playing okay?
- Yeah, so-so.Copy !req
225. At my club,
I got a member guest next month.Copy !req
226. I've got a couple of other guys.
You wanna come?Copy !req
227. Okay, we're all set.Copy !req
228. It's 10 days, make sure you take all 10 days.
And watch the dairy. Okay.Copy !req
229. And I specifically said, "No feta cheese."
Do they have to put feta cheese in?Copy !req
230. - You heard me say it, right?
- I did hear you say it.Copy !req
231. - Hi.
- Hello.Copy !req
232. Just need this prescription filled out,
as soon as possible.Copy !req
233. Sure.Copy !req
234. I've got dermatitis, and it's...Copy !req
235. - We'll get it taken care of.
- Thank you.Copy !req
236. As soon as he finds it,
we'll get this thing rolling.Copy !req
237. Take your time.Copy !req
238. What's wrong?Copy !req
239. I think I gave the maitre
d' the prescription.Copy !req
240. - My prescription?
- Yeah, 'cause look...Copy !req
241. - Why would you do that?
- There's a $20 bill folded in my pocket.Copy !req
242. This was for the maitre d'.
What's it doing in my pocket?Copy !req
243. I don't know. I gave you
the prescription this afternoon.Copy !req
244. I know, and I folded it up,
and it was in the same pocket as the $20...Copy !req
245. and I must have put my hand
in my pocket and pulled out...Copy !req
246. Did you not look at it, Larry?Copy !req
247. - It felt like the $20.
- How could that happen?Copy !req
248. - They were folded up, they felt alike!
- Didn't he look at it?Copy !req
249. No, they take it and
put it in their pocket.Copy !req
250. Why would I have the $20 on me?Copy !req
251. This was the $20
that was designated for the maitre d'!Copy !req
252. - Let's just go back to the restaurant.
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
253. Why don't we just call your doctor?Copy !req
254. You can't call my doctor on the weekends,
unless it's a life-threatening emergency.Copy !req
255. If you call his machine,
it'll tell you you can't page him.Copy !req
256. - You called up and that's what it said?
- Yeah.Copy !req
257. That is obscene, you know that?Copy !req
258. "Can't disturb the doctor on the weekend.Copy !req
259. "Don't call the Dr. Zeppler...Copy !req
260. "on the weekend
unless it's life-threatening."Copy !req
261. "Norman, is somebody calling?Copy !req
262. "Who's calling?
We're in the middle of dinner, Norman!Copy !req
263. "This better be life-threatening,
or you're not gonna leave this house!"Copy !req
264. Come on, please, I'm begging you.Copy !req
265. "Norman...Copy !req
266. "unless they were burned in a fire...Copy !req
267. "I don't want you getting
up from your chair.Copy !req
268. "Do you understand, Norman?"Copy !req
269. Okay, I owe you a huge apology.
I'm so sorry. When I was in earlier...Copy !req
270. I thought I was giving you money,
and I gave you my wife's prescription.Copy !req
271. I remember.Copy !req
272. She really needs it. Do you have it?Copy !req
273. You'll find it in a trash can,
right through those double doors.Copy !req
274. Help yourself.Copy !req
275. - Wait a second.
- Did you find it? Do you see it?Copy !req
276. - No, that's not it.
- No, that wasn't it.Copy !req
277. I think I'm gonna be sick.Copy !req
278. You didn't happen to see
a piece of paper here earlier?Copy !req
279. - A little white prescription piece of paper?
- No.Copy !req
280. You should go through the middle of it...Copy !req
281. I've been looking all over, Cheryl.
I can't find it!Copy !req
282. - You want me to get in the can?
- If that's what it takes, Larry, I guess, yeah.Copy !req
283. - How about going to an emergency room?
- No, are you kidding?Copy !req
284. We'd sit there for eight hours.Copy !req
285. This is a very pleasant activity.
Can you lock me in a toilet after this?Copy !req
286. You could pick up my prescription
when I ask the first time...Copy !req
287. then none of this would have happened.Copy !req
288. Wait a second. What about Richard's friend?Copy !req
289. He's a dermatologist.
The guy I offended today.Copy !req
290. The black guy? He's a dermatologist?Copy !req
291. Yes, we're going over to Richard's anyway.Copy !req
292. I could call him and apologize.
He could phone in the prescription for us.Copy !req
293. Yeah, let's try that.Copy !req
294. - Hi!
- Hey!Copy !req
295. How are you? Good to see you.Copy !req
296. You know what? You don't wanna
get too close to me right now.Copy !req
297. - We had a bit of a problem here.
- Relax, we'll talk it out.Copy !req
298. Sofia's on the phone.
She'll be off in a second.Copy !req
299. - We're not really gonna be able to stay.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
300. - Because...
- I've got a skin problem right now.Copy !req
301. It's this dermatitis and it's spreading
is the problem, Richard.Copy !req
302. We've been driving all night
because I had a prescription...Copy !req
303. I didn't lose it, but, whatever.
We don't have it anymore.Copy !req
304. Why don't you call your doctor?Copy !req
305. - I can't call him on the weekends.
- It's hard to bother these people.Copy !req
306. The thing is, we don't know any doctors,
or anybody who can help her.Copy !req
307. The only guy I could think of...Copy !req
308. - is your friend from... The dermatologist.
- The guy from today? Justin?Copy !req
309. Maybe if you could just call him,
and he could call in a prescription.Copy !req
310. I mean, you can imagine...Copy !req
311. You were like James Earl Ray today,
with this guy.Copy !req
312. I know.Copy !req
313. I'll do it, I love you, I'm doing it...Copy !req
314. Just tell him I'll apologize.
I wanna talk to him.Copy !req
315. I'm so sorry about what happened.Copy !req
316. This is like a nightmare call.Copy !req
317. - I'm sorry for making you do it.
- We really appreciate it.Copy !req
318. Honey, hello, the Davids are here.Copy !req
319. Listen, she has a medical emergency.Copy !req
320. Honey, baby, I'm on the phone.Copy !req
321. - I'm on the phone.
- You have to get...Copy !req
322. We don't even know
if the guy's gonna be home or not.Copy !req
323. Honey, enough, darling!Copy !req
324. I'm on the phone. I'm sorry.Copy !req
325. - I'm on the phone, just one second.
- Just hang up the phone.Copy !req
326. She has a medical emergency.
She has a tremendous rash.Copy !req
327. You know what?Copy !req
328. Just get the number, we'll call in the car.Copy !req
329. Will you hang up the phone?Copy !req
330. - Are you happy?
- I'm very happy.Copy !req
331. Good, now we're all happy.
You're happy, he's happy, I'm happy.Copy !req
332. She's sick and you're not, how's that?Copy !req
333. Jesus Christ, I'm so fucking embarrassed
by all this shit.Copy !req
334. - I'm really sorry about this.
- No, don't be sorry.Copy !req
335. Dr. Grambs?Copy !req
336. Hi, I'm sorry to call you on a weekend.
Yeah, it's Lewis.Copy !req
337. I just hung up with my agent on the phone,
without even saying goodbye.Copy !req
338. - This is a very important call.
- Mind your own fucking business here!Copy !req
339. It is my business!Copy !req
340. He really feels horrible about it,
but his wife has this... What's it called?Copy !req
341. - Dermatitis.
- Dermatitis, and what?Copy !req
342. He's funny. He didn't mean it.Copy !req
343. He wants to apologize profusely.
The last thing he would mean is that...Copy !req
344. I need to help them. I'm lost.Copy !req
345. She's very sick, she can't reach her doctor,
and she needs to get a prescription...Copy !req
346. otherwise this thing's gonna spread,
and I really wanna come through for them.Copy !req
347. Really?Copy !req
348. You're unbelievable.Copy !req
349. He says, "Come over to the house." He can't
prescribe over phone. It's unethical.Copy !req
350. - You'll do that?
- Of course, are you kidding?Copy !req
351. Doctor, you're really the best.
What's your address?Copy !req
352. Yeah, hold on, what's the number?
Okay, thanks.Copy !req
353. - Thank you so much.
- Christ.Copy !req
354. How do you get there?Copy !req
355. - Call the AAA. Just get better.
- Thanks so much.Copy !req
356. Just get better.Copy !req
357. - Nice to see you again!
- Nice to see you, too.Copy !req
358. Right turn ahead.Copy !req
359. - Did you hear that?
- Yeah, I did hear it.Copy !req
360. The navigation system!
I figured it out, it's working!Copy !req
361. It's telling us exactly
how to go to the doctor's house!Copy !req
362. I can't wait to call my parents.Copy !req
363. They are gonna be so proud of me!Copy !req
364. When I tell my father
I figured out that navigation system...Copy !req
365. he's gonna flip his wig.
And he's got one, too.Copy !req
366. Can we turn on the radio?Copy !req
367. He's gonna be very proud of Larry,
figuring out the navigation system!Copy !req
368. - Please.
- "Daddy, I'm not so stupid!"Copy !req
369. Can we turn on the radio?Copy !req
370. No, 'cause then we won't be able
to hear the navigator.Copy !req
371. Right turn ahead.Copy !req
372. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
373. Hi, I'm Larry David.
This is my wife, Cheryl.Copy !req
374. - We're a friend of Richard Lewis. He called.
- Yes. I'm Donna.Copy !req
375. My husband's in the living room.
Please, come in.Copy !req
376. Thank you so much for having us.Copy !req
377. Sorry to disturb you
at the beginning of your weekend.Copy !req
378. That's okay, the best laid plans
always will change...Copy !req
379. so let's not worry about it. Come on in.Copy !req
380. I think black people have a mistrust
of the medical profession...Copy !req
381. because of the vestiges of that experiment.Copy !req
382. - Exactly.
- Absolutely.Copy !req
383. Please.Copy !req
384. Please, come in.Copy !req
385. I hope we're not disturbing anything.Copy !req
386. Excuse me, sweetie.Copy !req
387. Everybody, this is Larry David,
and his wife, Cheryl.Copy !req
388. - Hello.
- Hi.Copy !req
389. - Hi, how you doing?
- Mrs. David, a pleasure to meet you.Copy !req
390. It is so nice to meet you.
Thank you so much.Copy !req
391. We've had quite a time tonight,
and I really appreciate you...Copy !req
392. It's so nice of you to do this.
We appreciate it so much.Copy !req
393. I'm glad I could be of help.
Let's go take a look at that.Copy !req
394. And again, I'm so sorry about...Copy !req
395. - God Almighty, I can't believe I said that.
- I think I might have overreacted.Copy !req
396. No, I don't think so.
It was completely idiotic.Copy !req
397. Justin, what did he say?Copy !req
398. We'd like to hear it.Copy !req
399. Larry, this is Professor Roget
from Caltech Physics.Copy !req
400. How are you doing?Copy !req
401. - What was said, we'd like to hear it.
- We'd like to know.Copy !req
402. Believe me, you don't wanna hear this.Copy !req
403. - What is it, we'd love to hear it.
- Why not?Copy !req
404. What? You're kidding.Copy !req
405. Come on, believe me, it was nothing.
You're having a nice party here.Copy !req
406. Eat. You got peanuts and cookies. Drinks.Copy !req
407. You're probably having
a very stimulating conversation...Copy !req
408. until we came in, so, believe me...
My advice to you, go back, because...Copy !req
409. I agree with him.Copy !req
410. Larry, you're apologizing.Copy !req
411. Apologizing for nothing?Copy !req
412. I wish it was something.Copy !req
413. I am apologizing for pretty much nothing.Copy !req
414. It is nothing. It's so unimportant.Copy !req
415. Come on, Larry, please, share with us.Copy !req
416. Come on, spit it out, Larry.Copy !req
417. It sounds interesting.Copy !req
418. We're very interested
in hearing what you have to say.Copy !req
419. I'll make a deal with you folks, okay?Copy !req
420. We'll tell you what it was,
and then we can move on.Copy !req
421. - All right, Larry.
- Come on, just share it with us, Larry.Copy !req
422. Let us hear about it. What is it?Copy !req
423. I was walking along, with my friend...Copy !req
424. near the beach in Santa Monica...Copy !req
425. and Dr. Grambs comes jogging by...Copy !req
426. He's in very good shape, this man,
by the way. Very good shape.Copy !req
427. - Come on, let's not beat around the bush.
- Come on, let's go.Copy !req
428. I said...Copy !req
429. When he introduced me to Dr. Grambs...Copy !req
430. he told me that he's a patient of Dr. Grambs,
and I said:Copy !req
431. "You let him work on you even with
the whole affirmative action thing?"Copy !req
432. You know, 'cause...Copy !req
433. It was a joke. It was a bad joke.Copy !req
434. I was trying to be too affable.
I went overboard in my affability.Copy !req
435. - Are you in favor of affirmative action?
- Completely in favor of it.Copy !req
436. I don't think white people
should have anything!Copy !req
437. I think we should be sleeping on the street,
eating crumbs, and we should be that way...Copy !req
438. for a couple of hundred years,
and I'm not even joking about that.Copy !req
439. Guys, he's a comedian. He makes
funny lines all the time. I overreacted.Copy !req
440. And he knocked it off the top off his head.Copy !req
441. He's much better when he has
a chance to write it, and look it over.Copy !req
442. So, maybe he's learned
a lesson from all this?Copy !req
443. Yeah, you can say that again.Copy !req
444. I was about to say "sister," but I can't...Copy !req
445. Okay, everyone. So, Mrs. David,
let me take a look at that arm, please.Copy !req
446. Thank you, yes, okay.Copy !req
447. Mr. Larry David.
Twice in one evening. I'm on a roll.Copy !req
448. My friends, this is Larry David...Copy !req
449. the man who refused
to hire a sister for a job...Copy !req
450. for which I was clearly qualified,
because he's a racist, a bona fide racist...Copy !req
451. who preferred not to work with
any black people under any circumstances...Copy !req
452. and gives all the good jobs
to his white wife's white friends.Copy !req
453. Good evening.Copy !req
454. I think you better call the doctor.Copy !req
455. I'm not allowed
to call the doctor on the weekend.Copy !req
456. I don't think we have a choice.
I think we have to call him.Copy !req
457. We're out of options, really.
Honey, come on.Copy !req
458. I'm gonna call him. I'm gonna page him.Copy !req
459. Wait. So what number do I put in?Copy !req
460. Put in our home number.
We'll be home in a minute.Copy !req
461. All right, he's paged. That's it.Copy !req
462. - Great.
- It's done.Copy !req
463. What's the worst that could happen?Copy !req
464. - I don't know.
- What's he gonna do, kill us?Copy !req
465. Hello?Copy !req
466. Dad, I can't talk to you right now!
No, I'll call you back!Copy !req
467. Hello? Dr. Zeppler?Copy !req
468. Hi, it's Cheryl David.Copy !req
469. I lost the prescription
you gave me earlier this afternoon...Copy !req
470. and I desperately need
another one right away.Copy !req
471. A life-threatening emergency?Copy !req
472. - You could scratch yourself to death!
- I feel like I could scratch myself to death...Copy !req
473. if it goes untreated.
I mean, I don't know...Copy !req
474. It's the Longs Drugstore on the West Side.Copy !req
475. Thank you. No, I won't ever call you
on the weekend again. Thank you so much.Copy !req
476. "Won't ever call you on the weekend."
My God, what a jerk this guy is.Copy !req
477. At least we got it.Copy !req
478. Get yourself a new doctor.
This guy's an idiot.Copy !req
479. - I'm gonna go pick it up.
- Do you want me to go with you?Copy !req
480. No, go take a hot bath,
and I'll be back in 12, 15 minutes.Copy !req
481. Okay.Copy !req
482. The doctor says you just wanna get
your prescriptions renewed on time, okay?Copy !req
483. Now, in terms of this,
it's just two quick shots.Copy !req
484. Pay for that up front, okay?
And good luck with that.Copy !req
485. Okay, Mr. Brazil.Copy !req
486. All right, I want you to...Copy !req
487. Excuse me, I'm sorry. My doctor
called in a prescription for my wife.Copy !req
488. - Your name?
- David. Yeah, Dr. Zeppler.Copy !req
489. Zeppler, yes, we got that.Copy !req
490. It's gonna be about
45 minutes to an hour, okay?Copy !req
491. Mr. Brazil.Copy !req
492. I mean, it's really, it's an emergency.
I'm not kidding.Copy !req
493. - She's scratching, she's broken out all over.
- I understand, sir.Copy !req
494. It's gonna be about 45 minutes to an hour.
You see, we have a backup.Copy !req
495. Okay, just read all the indications on it.
It's very important, pay for that up front.Copy !req
496. Okay, next is Guyaphone.Copy !req
497. Okay.Copy !req
498. All right, this is pretty simple, but
I wanna make sure that you read all the...Copy !req
499. I haven't forgotten about you, Mr. Filpot.
It's just gonna be a couple more minutes...Copy !req
500. I'm not quite ready for you.
We need to get straightened out.Copy !req
501. I'm sorry...Copy !req
502. Yes.Copy !req
503. Is there anything
that can be done about this?Copy !req
504. "Done"? I don't understand.Copy !req
505. You know, I hear things are done.Copy !req
506. Things are done?Copy !req
507. What is this?Copy !req
508. - Are you trying to bribe me?
- No.Copy !req
509. You think you can bribe me?
Do I look like I can be bribed?Copy !req
510. - No, I'm paying in advance.
- Are you trying to bribe a pharmacist?Copy !req
511. Take your money!
Nobody bribes a pharmacist!Copy !req
512. - Get out, right now!
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
513. Security!Copy !req
514. I'll remember you, buddy!Copy !req