Curb Your Enthusiasm 1x9

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3. DID I DO SOMETHING?

4. WELL, WHY DO I HAVE TO MEET YOU?

5. WELL, I DON'T REALLY SEE

6. IN TELLING ME, IN PERSON,

7. TELLING ME ON THE PHONE,

8. IT'S THE SAME THING.

9. WELL, JUST PRETEND WE'RE BLIND,

10. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THAT?

11. YEAH, WELL, THAT'S WHAT IT IS FOR THEM.

12. HEY, MY WIFE IS HOME.

13. HELLO.

14. HI, WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

15. RICHARD LEWIS.

16. I'VE BEEN ORDERED OFF THE PHONE.

17. OKAY, I'LL MEET YOU THERE IN 10 MINUTES.

18. ALRIGHT, VERY GOOD.

19. THE DOCTOR SAY?

20. WELL, HE SAID THAT I HAVE DERMATITIS.

21. REALLY?

22. YEAH.

23. BUT, IF I GET

24. AND PUT IT ON, IT'LL BE FINE.

25. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BACK UP,

26. I DON'T THINK IT'S CONTAGIOUS.

27. IS IT CONTAGIOUS?

28. HOW'D YOU GET THAT, WHAT IS IT?

29. I HAVE NO IDEA, IT'S A VIRUS.

30. THREE TIMES A DAY,

31. RUB IT ON, IT'LL BE FINE.

32. I'M PASSING IT

33. BECAUSE I'M HOPING THAT YOU'LL TAKE IT TO THE DRUGSTORE.

34. ALRIGHT, UM, I HAVE TO MEET RICHARD LEWIS FIRST,

35. ABOUT SOMETHING.

36. GOD KNOWS.

37. GOING TO DINNER.

38. NO, WE ARE, SO, I'LL GET

39. AFTER I TALK TO HIM, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

40. AT THE RESTAURANT?

41. BECAUSE IT DOESN'T PAY FOR ME...

42. THEN WE'RE GONNA

43. I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO BACK HERE TO GET YOU,

44. IT'S RIGHT BY THE RESTAURANT.

45. I'D RATHER NOT TAKE MY CAR.

46. CAN'T ROSA TAKE YOU? SHE DRIVES RIGHT BY THERE.

47. HUH?

48. OKAY, THAT'S FINE, YEAH.

49. SO, AT 6:00, THEN?

50. 6:00.

51. OKAY.

52. AT THE BYZANTINE, AND I'LL GET YOUR THING FILLED.

53. OKAY, THANKS. ALR.

54. LARRY, THANKS FOR COMING OUT.

55. I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY, AND...

56. I'M JUST CURIOUS AS TO WHAT YOU WANNA TELL ME.

57. IT'S NOT EASY FOR ME TO SAY THIS,

58. IT'S BEEN BUGGING ME FOR A WHILE AND,

59. I THINK WE'RE AT SOME KIND OF CROSSROADS.

60. YOU DON'T CALL ME, I'M ALWAYS INITIATING.

61. I ASK YOU TO DO THINGS, I ASK YOU,

62. WHATEVER I DO, IT'S

63. IF I NEVER CALLED YOU,

64. I'D FALL OFF

65. AND WE WOULDN'T BE FRIENDS ANYMORE,

66. AND, MY SHRINK ACTUALLY YOU ON THIS,

67. AND, UH, AND I AM, SO, THAT'S IT.

68. WITH YOU?

69. I HOPE SO.

70. IT'S SOFIA, YOU KNOW,

71. IT'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

72. SOFIA?

73. YEAH.

74. I DON'T GET ALONG WITH HER,

75. AND, SO, I TEND NOT TO CALL,

76. OR GET TOGETHER...

77. THINK THAT'S FAIR?

78. I MEAN, THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND.

79. WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S FAIR,

80. IT'S JUST THAT'S WHAT'S STOPPING ME,

81. THAT'S WHY I HAVEN'T BEEN CALLING.

82. SHE'S AN EXTENSION OF MY LIFE FOR CHRISSAKE,

83. I MEAN, IT'S LIKE, I LOVE...

84. YOU KNOW, YOUR WIFE, SHE'S EMBARRASSED ME

85. A COUPLE OF TIMES, EVEN IN JEST,

86. AND I DON'T SAY, "I DON'T WANNA

87. ANYMORE."

88. I DON'T KNOW, I JUST DON'T THINK

89. FROM A FRIENDSHIP.

90. ALRIGHT, CHERYL AND I ARE GOING OUT TO DINNER TONIGHT,

91. WHY DON'T THE TWO OF YOU JOIN US?

92. BUT, WHY DO YOU WANNA DO THAT?

93. 'CAUSE I WANNA MAKE UP AND START ALL OVER.

94. REALLY?

95. YOU'RE NOT JUST DOING THIS TO...

96. I APPRECIATE IT, BUT, I MEAN,

97. SHE'S PART OF MY LIFE, SOFIA.

98. I KNOW, AND, I WANNA TRY AND BE FRIENDS WITH HER.

99. NICE GESTURE, AND,

100. OH, TONIGHT?

101. OH, FUCK, I CAN'T, WE'RE DOING SOMETHING EARLY.

102. SOMETHING AT OUR PLACE?

103. YEAH, WE WON'T HAVE DESSERT.

104. WE'LL COME OVER FOR DESSERT AND COFFEE.

105. FANTASTIC.

106. JUSTIN?

107. LEWIS.

108. HOW YA DOING?

109. HEY, MAN.

110. GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN, WHAT'S HAPPENING?

111. OH, I'M SORRY, I'M FUNKY.

112. DR. GRAMBS, THIS IS MY FRIEND,

113. LARRY DAVID.

114. DERMATOLOGIST.

115. REALLY?

116. OH, YEAH, WHAT, FOR 15 YEARS ALREADY?

117. AFFIRMATIVE ACTION THING?

118. I'M SORRY, I BEG YOUR PARDON, WHAT?

119. YEAH, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

120. IT WAS A JOKE.

121. "THE WHOLE AFFIRMATIVE ACTION THING" ?

122. IT WAS A JOKE.

123. HE'S LIKE A BUDDY.

124. I KNOW HIM, I MEAN, HE'S A SWEETHEART.

125. THAT I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH

126. TO BE A DERMATOLOGIST?

127. NO, NO, COME ON, NO, IT WAS JOKE.

128. HE'S A LIBERAL, HE'S LIKE YOU AND ME.

129. SO, IF I WASN'T BLACK

130. THE SAME THING OR,

131. OR NOT.

132. DO YOU SEE MY POINT?

133. YEAH, I SEE IT IN A HISTORICAL SENSE,

134. BUT, NOT IN A NICE DAY SENSE.

135. YOU KNOW, RICHARD, I'VE WORKED TOO HARD

136. AND TOO LONG AT THIS, I CAN'T DO IT.

137. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HIS TRIP IS, BUT, I CAN'T DO IT.

138. I DON'T HAVE ANY TRIP, NO, IT WAS JOKE!

139. HOLY SHIT! WHAT HIT YOU?

140. IT WAS A JOKE.

141. I KNOW IT'S A JOKE, BUT, YOU SOUNDED LIKE

142. PAT BUCHANAN'S GYM PARTNER FOR CHRISSAKES!

143. TO BE AFFABLE.

144. LOOK, I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT,

145. HOPEFULLY, WE'LL RESOLVE, YOU KNOW.

146. TO BLACK PEOPLE SOMETIMES.

147. THAT'S LIKE GONNA BE

148. FOR CHRISSAKE!

149. LOOK, I'LL SEE YOU LATER ON.

150. TO BE AFFABLE.

151. HEY, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

152. I KNOW, THIS PLACE IS CRAZY.

153. THERE'S NO TABLES,

154. YOU COULDN'T GET A RESERVATION,

155. WE'RE ON A WAITING LIST.

156. MY PRESCRIPTION?

157. I THINK I'M GONNA GO TO THE LADIES' ROOM, AND,

158. PUT SOME ON.

159. WHAT?

160. SHOOT, I FORGOT IT.

161. I'M SORRY, I WAS

162. BECAUSE, OH, MY GOD,

163. HUMILIATED MYSELF.

164. WHAT HAPPENED?

165. I WAS WITH RICHARD LEWIS, AND WE WERE TALKING,

166. INTO HIS FRIEND,

167. THIS BLACK DOCTOR,

168. AND, I MADE SOME

169. ABOUT AFFIRMATIVE ACTION,

170. AND IT WAS BEYOND AWFUL.

171. I'M SURE YOU'RE

172. MORE THAN IT WAS.

173. NO, I'M MAKING IT OUT TO BE LESS THAN IT WAS.

174. THE WRONG WAY.

175. A JOKE ABOUT THAT?

176. BECAUSE, I DON'T KNOW, I WAS TRYING TO BE AFFABLE.

177. TOO HARD TO BE AFFABLE.

178. ABOUT IT, THOUGH?

179. I MADE A MISTAKE, IT WAS A STUPID THING TO SAY.

180. I'M A SCHMUCK, I DON'T KNOW, I DID A SCHMUCKY THING.

181. DID YOU APOLOGIZE?

182. I APOLOGIZED.

183. WELL, I HAVE TO SAY I'M NOT REAL HAPPY,

184. RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE...

185. WELL, WE'LL

186. AND THEN WE'LL GO RIGHT TO THE DRUGSTORE.

187. NO PROBLEM.

188. THE PROBLEM IS?

189. IS THAT IT'S GONNA BE

190. BECAUSE WE'RE NOT EVEN GONNA HAVE A SEAT,

191. UNTIL, I DON'T KNOW, LIKE AN HOUR.

192. REALLY.

193. YEAH, AND I'M STARVING, YOU KNOW.

194. LET'S TRY SOMETHING HERE.

195. DOING?

196. A LITTLE PLAN?

197. I GOT A LITTLE PLAN.

198. YEAH?

199. WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

200. YEAH, SURE.

201. MEN DO THIS, RIGHT?

202. I'VE SEEN MEN DO IT.

203. HAVEN'T WE SEEN THIS?

204. I'VE SEEN MEN DO IT IN MOVIES.

205. GOOD EVENING, SIR, WELCOME TO THE BYZANTINE.

206. UM, I WAS CURIOUS ABOUT, HOW LONG IS THE WAIT?

207. OH, I'M AFRAID IT LOOKS LIKE,

208. 45 MINUTES TO AN HOUR.

209. 45 MINUTES TO AN HOUR, NO WAY TO GET IN?

210. NO, WE'RE VERY CROWDED THIS EVENING, SIR.

211. WE'RE VERY FULL.

212. CAN BE DONE?

213. WELL, NOTHING THAT I CAN THINK OF, SIR.

214. THINGS ARE DONE, RIGHT, AREN'T THINGS DONE?

215. ARE DONE.

216. FROM TIME TO TIME.

217. YOU CAN DO...

218. ACTUALLY, I THINK WE CAN ACCOMMODATE YOU RIGHT NOW.

219. TO FOLLOW ME?

220. THANK YOU.

221. VERY MUCH.

222. DINNER.

223. OKAY! OKAY!

224. WOW, I'M PRETTY IMPRESSED.

225. COME ON, GIVE IT TO ME!

226. I'M VERY, VERY IMPRESSED, I REALLY AM.

227. NO BIG DEAL.

228. TO YOU RIGHT NOW.

229. THAT'S 'CAUSE IT'S CRIMINAL.

230. IS IT?

231. ARE ATTRACTED TO CRIMINALS,

232. ALL THE TIME.

233. YOU KNOW, YOU COULD DO THAT ALL THE TIME.

234. JUST WALK AROUND, AND, CUT IN LINE ANY TIME YOU WANT.

235. ALRIGHT, DO IT ALL THE TIME NOW,

236. WE'LL NEVER HAVE TO WAIT.

237. GUILTY ABOUT IT?

238. WHY, BECAUSE ARE STILL WAITING?

239. WELL, I CAN'T STOP

240. I'M STARVING.

241. HOW CAN

242. WHEELCHAIR?

243. I DON'T GET THAT.

244. WHAT'S THE POINT TO IT?

245. TO ME, THAT'S YOUR BIG PRIORITY.

246. WELL, MAYBE HE LIKES THE EXERCISE.

247. I'M SURE YOU GET USED TO IT.

248. WELL, CAN'T HE GET ONE THAT HAS BOTH?

249. MOTOR AND NON-MOTOR? THEN YOU COULD DO BOTH.

250. YOU WANT EXERCISE, YOU EXERCISE,

251. YOU WANT THE MOTOR, YOU GOT THE MOTOR.

252. HAVE NO OPTIONS.

253. THE WHOLE TIME.

254. IF YOU'RE NOT IN A HURRY TO GET SOMEWHERE,

255. WHY NOT?

256. THERE'S TED HARBERT.

257. WHO'S TED HARBERT?

258. THE PRESIDENT OF ABC,

259. NBC STUDIOS.

260. TO THE BATHROOM,

261. I'M GONNA HAVE TO WALK RIGHT BY THAT TABLE.

262. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT, YOU DON'T LIKE HIM?

263. THE WORST SMALL TALK,

264. AND, IT'S GONNA BE SO, I'LL NEVER GET OUT OF THERE.

265. JUST DON'T STOP.

266. AND SAY, HELLO.

267. YOU HAVE TO STOP,

268. YOU CAN'T JUST SAY HELLO AND WALK ON.

269. OOH, SEA BASS.

270. YOU KNOW WHAT?

271. THERE'S A RESTAURANT TWO DOORS DOWN,

272. I'M GONNA GO IN THERE.

273. OKAY, I'M GONNA GO TO THE BATHROOM IN THERE.

274. YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE

275. SOMEWHERE ELSE?

276. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

277. NO, I DON'T WANNA SAY HELLO,

278. I DON'T LIKE THOSE HELLOS.

279. MEN'S ROOM?

280. LARRY, LARRY DAVID, LARRY DAVID.

281. HOW YA DOING?

282. OKAY.

283. DO YOU REMEMBER ME, DENISE PENDERGRASS?

284. A FEW YEARS AGO?

285. FILM PROJECT YOU WERE DOING.

286. OH, "SOUR GRAPES", THE LINE PRODUCER.

287. YES, I REMEMBER.

288. OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SO GLAD I RAN INTO YOU.

289. 'CAUSE WE HAD A REALLY NICE MEETING,

290. AND, YOU KNOW, YOU SAID

291. I WAS QUALIFIED,

292. AND, THEN, I DIDN'T

293. AND, ALL THESE YEARS I WONDERED, WHAT HAPPENED?

294. 'CAUSE I REALLY WANTED TO WORK WITH YOU,

295. AND, WHAT WAS THE PERSON'S NAME THAT GOT THAT JOB?

296. WHAT WAS, WHAT?

297. BARRY.

298. OH, BARRY, BARRY, A FRIEND OF YOURS, OR...

299. FRIEND OF MY WIFE.

300. YOUR WIFE.

301. A BLACK FRIEND?

302. NO.

303. THIS IS THE THING, I HAD A COUPLE OF MARGARITAS,

304. BUT, I'M NOT GONNA HOLD BACK.

305. WONDERING,

306. WHY DO YOU

307. LIKE ME A JOB?

308. WHAT? A PROBLEM?

309. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

310. THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE INTERVIEWED FOR THAT.

311. YEAH, A LOT OF PEOPLE, BUT, YOU AND I,

312. WE HAD A RAPPORT.

313. WE DID, BUT, THE GUY KNEW MY WIFE, I MEAN,

314. THAT'S ALL IT WAS.

315. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE IMPLYING, BUT,

316. WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS TERRIBLE.

317. WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT I WATCHED YOUR SHOW, "SEINFELD"

318. FOR HOW MANY, SEVEN, EIGHT YEARS ON THE AIR,

319. AND, NOT-A-ONE BLACK PERSON,

320. AND, I LIVED IN NEW YORK FOR SEVERAL YEARS,

321. OF BLACK PEOPLE IN NEW YORK,

322. BUT, SOMEHOW, ELAINE CAN NEVER HAVE A BLACK GIRLFRIEND,

323. BLACK GIRLFRIENDS,

324. CIRCLE OF FRIENDS,

325. LIKE ME.

326. I MEAN, WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?

327. WITH LARRY DAVID?

328. THERE'S NO BLACK THING, IT'S A NOTHING!

329. NO, NO, NO,

330. THINGS LIKE THIS,

331. YOUR NUMBER NOW.

332. THERE'S NO NUMBER, YOU DON'T HAVE A NUMBER!

333. THERE'S NO NUMBER TO HAVE, I DON'T HAVE A NUMBER!

334. I SAW "SOUR GRAPES", AND, THE TITLE WAS VERY APROPOS,

335. GET THAT JOB.

336. AND, I JUST HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY NICE DINNER.

337. THANK YOU, MR. LARRY DAVID.

338. YOU BEEN?

339. SORRY.

340. WE HAVEN'T EVEN ORDERED AND I'M DYING.

341. OUTSIDE THE MEN'S ROOM AT THIS RESTAURANT,

342. FOR A JOB ON "SOUR... "

343. HEY, TED!

344. HEY, LARRY, HOW ARE YOU?

345. NICE SEEING YOU, HOW YA DOING?

346. GOOD, THIS IS MY WIFE, CHERYL.

347. TED HARBERT.

348. TED HARBERT, NICE TO SEE YA, HOW YA DOING?

349. SITTING DOWN?

350. YEAH, YEAH, JUST ABOUT TO ORDER.

351. HEY, SO, YOU BEEN PLAYING ANY GOLF LATELY?

352. UH, YEAH.

353. YEAH, PLAYING OKAY?

354. YEAH, SO-SO.

355. A MEMBER GUEST NEXT MONTH,

356. OTHER GUYS,

357. A DAY OUT OF IT?

358. OKAY, WE'RE ALL SET.

359. IT'S 10 DAYS, MAKE SURE YOU TAKE ALL 10 DAYS.

360. AND WATCH THE DAIRY.

361. OKAY.

362. SAID, "NO FETA CHEESE",

363. I MEAN, DO THEY HAVE TO PUT FETA CHEESE IN?

364. I SAID, YOU HEARD ME SAY IT, RIGHT?

365. I KNOW, I DID HEAR YOU SAY IT.

366. HI.

367. HELLO.

368. UM, JUST NEED THIS PRESCRIPTION FILLED OUT,

369. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

370. OH, SURE.

371. I'VE GOT DERMATITIS, YEAH, AND IT'S...

372. WELL, WE'LL GET IT TAKEN CARE OF.

373. THANK YOU.

374. HE FINDS IT,

375. WE'LL GET THIS THING ROLLING.

376. TAKE YOUR TIME.

377. WHAT'S WRONG?

378. I THINK I GAVE THE MAITRE D' THE PRESCRIPTION.

379. MY PRESCRIPTION?

380. YEAH, 'CAUSE LOOK...

381. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

382. THERE'S A $20 BILL FOLDED IN MY POCKET.

383. FOR THE MAITRE D',

384. WHAT'S IT DOING IN MY POCKET?

385. I DON'T KNOW,

386. THIS AFTERNOON.

387. I KNOW, AND

388. POCKET AS THE 20,

389. AND PULLED OUT...

390. AT IT, LARRY?

391. IT FELT LIKE THE 20.

392. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THAT COULD HAPPEN.

393. THEY WERE FOLDED UP, THEY FELT ALIKE!

394. DID HE LOOK AT IT?

395. NO, THEY TAKE IT AND PUT IT IN THEIR POCKET.

396. THE 20 ON ME?

397. THIS WAS THE 20 THAT WAS DESIGNATED FOR THE MAITRE D' !

398. COME ON, LET'S JUST GO BACK TO THE RESTAURANT.

399. OH, MY GOD!

400. WHY DON'T WE JUST CALL YOUR DOCTOR?

401. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CALL

402. UNLESS IT'S EMERGENCY.

403. WHAT?

404. YEAH, IF YOU CALL HIS MACHINE,

405. IT'LL TELL YOU YOU CAN'T PAGE HIM.

406. THAT'S WHAT IT SAID?

407. YEAH.

408. THAT IS OBSCENE, YOU KNOW THAT?

409. "CAN'T DISTURB THE DOCTOR ON THE WEEKEND.

410. "DON'T CALL DR. ZEPPLER

411. "ON THE WEEKEND UNLESS IT'S LIFE THREATENING.

412. "NORMAN, IS SOMEBODY CALLING?

413. "WHO'S CALLING?

414. "WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER, NORMAN!

415. "THIS BETTER BE LIFE THREATENING NORMAN,

416. OR YOU'RE NOT GONNA LEAVE THIS HOUSE!"

417. COME ON, PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU.

418. "NORMAN,

419. "UNLESS THEY WERE BURNED IN A FIRE,

420. "I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING UP FROM YOUR CHAIR,

421. DO YOU UNDERSTAND, NORMAN?"

422. UGH!

423. OKAY, I OWE YOU A HUGE APOLOGY,

424. I'M SO SORRY.

425. WHEN I WAS IN EARLIER,

426. MY WIFE'S PRESCRIPTION.

427. I REMEMBER.

428. NEEDS IT.I REALL.

429. DO YOU HAVE IT?

430. YOU'LL FIND IT

431. THOSE DOUBLE DOORS.

432. HELP YOURSELF.

433. OH, WAIT A SECOND.

434. DID YOU FIND IT? DO YOU SEE IT?

435. EWW, EWW, EWW!

436. NO, THAT WASN'T IT.

437. I'M GONNA BE SICK.

438. YOU DIDN'T

439. HERE EARLIER,

440. PIECE OF PAPER?

441. NO, NO.

442. I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER CHERYL,

443. I CAN'T FIND IT!

444. GET IN THE CAN?

445. IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES, LARRY, I GUESS, YEAH.

446. EMERGENCY ROOM?

447. LET'S GO TO AN EMERGENCY ROOM?

448. NO, ARE YOU KIDDING?

449. WE'D SIT THERE FOR EIGHT HOURS.

450. PLEASANT ACTIVITY.

451. A TOILET AFTER THIS, HUH?

452. WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

453. WAIT A SECOND.

454. RICHARD'S FRIEND?

455. HE'S A DERMATOLOGIST, THE GUY I OFFENDED TODAY.

456. THE BLACK GUY? HE'S A DERMATOLOGIST?

457. YES, WE'RE GOING OVER TO RICHARD'S ANYWAY.

458. THE PRESCRIPTION FOR US.

459. YEAH, YEAH, LET'S TRY THAT.

460. EWW!

461. HI! HEY!

462. HEY, HOW ARE YOU, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

463. OH, ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

464. YOU DON'T WANNA GET TOO CLOSE TO ME RIGHT NOW.

465. WE HAD A BIT OF A PROBLEM HERE.

466. RELAX, WE'LL TALK IT OUT.

467. SOFIA'S ON THE PHONE, SHE'LL BE OFF IN A SECOND.

468. WE'RE NOT REALLY GONNA BE ABLE TO...

469. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

470. BECAUSE, UM...

471. I'VE GOT A SKIN PROBLEM RIGHT NOW.

472. IT'S THIS DERMATITIS AND IT'S SPREADING,

473. IS THE PROBLEM, RICHARD.

474. WE'VE BEEN DRIVING

475. A PRESCRIPTION...

476. I DIDN'T LOSE IT, WHATEVER,

477. WE DON'T HAVE IT ANYMORE.

478. WHY DON'T YOU CALL YOUR DOCTOR?

479. I CAN'T CALL HIM ON THE WEEKENDS.

480. IT'S HARD TO BOTHER THESE PEOPLE.

481. THE THING IS, WE DON'T KNOW ANY DOCTORS,

482. WE DON'T KNOW ANYBODY WHO CAN HELP HER.

483. IS YOUR FRIEND FROM, THE DERMATOLOGIST.

484. TODAY, JUSTIN?

485. A PRESCRIPTION.

486. WOW, I MEAN, YOU CAN IMAGINE,

487. YOU WERE LIKE, WITH THIS GUY.

488. I KNOW, I KNOW.

489. I'LL DO IT, I'M DOING IT...

490. I'LL APOLOGIZE,

491. YOU KNOW, I WANNA TALK TO HIM.

492. I'M SO SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.

493. LIKE A NIGHTMARE CALL.

494. I'M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU DO IT, BELIEVE ME.

495. APPRECIATE IT.

496. HONEY, HELLO, THE DAVIDS ARE HERE.

497. HI!

498. LISTEN, SHE HAS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY.

499. HONEY, BABY, I'M ON THE PHONE.

500. I'M ON THE PHONE, I'M ON THE PHONE.

501. WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THE GUY'S

502. OR NOT.

503. HONEY, ENOUGH, HEY, DARLING!

504. I'M ON THE PHONE, I'M SORRY.

505. I'M ON THE PHONE, JUST ONE SECOND.

506. EMERGENCY,

507. SHE HAS A TREMENDOUS RASH.

508. HEY, HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

509. JUST GET THE NUMBER, WE'LL CALL IN THE CAR.

510. THE PHONE?

511. ARE YOU HAPPY?

512. YES, I'M VERY HAPPY.

513. OH, GOOD, NOW WE'RE ALL HAPPY.

514. YOU'RE HAPPY, HE'S HAPPY, I'M HAPPY.

515. SHE'S SICK AND YOU'RE NOT, HOW'S THAT?

516. JESUS CHRIST,

517. I'M SO FUCKING EMBARRASSED BY ALL THIS SHIT.

518. I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THIS.

519. NO, NO, DON'T BE SORRY.

520. DR. GRAMBS?

521. HI, I'M SORRY TO CALL YOU ON A WEEKEND.

522. YEAH, IT'S LEWIS.

523. RICHARD, I JUST HUNG UP

524. SAYING GOODBYE.

525. IMPORTANT CALL.

526. FUCKING BUSINESS HERE,

527. YOUR BUSINESS.

528. IT IS MY BUSINESS!

529. HORRIBLE ABOUT IT,

530. BUT, HIS WIFE HAS THIS, WHAT'S IT CALLED?

531. DERMATITIS.

532. AND WHAT?

533. HE'S FUNNY, YEAH, HE DIDN'T MEAN IT,

534. APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY.

535. EVER MEAN IS SOMETHING...

536. I NEED TO HELP THEM, I'M LOST.

537. SHE'S VERY SICK, SHE CAN'T REACH HER DOCTOR,

538. GET A PRESCRIPTION,

539. THING'S GONNA SPREAD,

540. AND, I REALLY WANNA COME THROUGH FOR THEM.

541. REALLY?

542. OH, YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE.

543. HE SAYS, IF YOU COME OVER TO THE HOUSE,

544. HE CAN'T PRESCRIBE OVER THE PHONE,

545. IT'S UNETHICAL, BUT, YOU'LL DO THAT?

546. OF COURSE, ARE YOU KIDDING?

547. DOCTOR, YOU'RE REALLY THE BEST.

548. WHAT'S YOUR ADDRESS?

549. YEAH, HOLD ON, WHAT'S THE NUMBER?

550. OKAY, THANKS.

551. THANK YOU, SO MUCH.

552. OH, CHRIST.

553. HOW DO YOU GET THERE?

554. CALL THE TRIPLE A, JUST GET BETTER.

555. YOU AGAIN!

556. YOU, TOO.

557. Right turn ahead.

558. DID YOU HEAR THAT?

559. YEAH, I DID HEAR IT.

560. THE NAVIGATION SYSTEM!

561. I FIGURED IT OUT, IT'S WORKING!

562. IT'S TELLING US

563. TO THE DOCTOR'S HOUSE!

564. OH, I CAN'T WAIT TO CALL MY PARENTS.

565. SO PROUD OF ME!

566. NAVIGATION SYSTEM,

567. HE'S GONNA FLIP HIS WIG, AND HE'S GOT ONE, TOO.

568. THE RADIO?

569. OH, HE'S GONNA BE VERY PROUD OF LARRY,

570. THE NAVIGATION SYSTEM!

571. PLEASE.

572. OOH, DADDY, I'M NOT SO STUPID!

573. THE RADIO?

574. NO, 'CAUSE THEN WE WON'T BE ABLE

575. THE NAVIGATOR.

576. Right turn ahead.

577. HI.

578. HI.

579. HI, I'M LARRY DAVID, THIS IS MY WIFE, CHERYL.

580. WE'RE A FRIEND OF RICHARD LEWIS, HE CALLED.

581. YES, YES, YES, HI, I'M DONNA,

582. MY HUSBAND'S IN THE LIVING ROOM.

583. PLEASE, COME IN.

584. OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING US.

585. OF YOUR WEEKEND.

586. WELL, THAT'S OKAY, I MEAN, THE BEST LAID PLANS

587. ALWAYS WILL CHANGE, SO LET'S NOT WORRY ABOUT IT.

588. COME ON IN.

589. OF THAT EXPERIMENT.

590. PLEASE, COME IN.

591. I HOPE WE'RE NOT DISTURBING ANYTHING.

592. EXCUSE ME, SWEETIE.

593. EVERYBODY, THIS IS LARRY DAVID,

594. AND HIS WIFE, CHERYL.

595. HI, HOW YA DOING, HI.

596. MRS. DAVID, A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

597. IT IS SO NICE TO MEET YOU, THANK YOU, SO MUCH.

598. WE'VE HAD QUITE A TIME TONIGHT,

599. APPRECIATE YOU.

600. IT'S SO NICE OF YOU TO DO THIS,

601. SO MUCH.

602. I'M GLAD I COULD BE OF HELP, NO PROBLEM.

603. LET'S GO TAKE A LOOK AT THAT.

604. AND, AGAIN, I'M SO SORRY ABOUT,

605. GOD ALMIGHTY, I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT.

606. HAVE OVERREACTED.

607. NO, I DON'T THINK SO,

608. IDIOTIC, REALLY.

609. JUSTIN, WHAT DID HE SAY?

610. UH...

611. WE'D LIKE TO HEAR IT.

612. LARRY, THIS IS PROFESSOR ROGET,

613. FROM CAL-TECH PHYSICS.

614. WHAT WAS SAID, WE'D LIKE TO HEAR IT.

615. WE'D LIKE TO KNOW.

616. BELIEVE ME, YOU DON'T WANNA HEAR THIS.

617. WHAT IS IT, WE'D LOVE TO HEAR IT.

618. WHY NOT?

619. WHAT? YOU'RE KIDDING.

620. COME ON, IT WAS NOTHING, BELIEVE ME, IT WAS NOTHING.

621. YOU'RE HAVING A NICE PARTY HERE.

622. EAT, YOU GOT PEANUTS AND COOKIES.

623. YOU'RE PROBABLY HAVING A VERY

624. UNTIL WE CAME IN, SO, BELIEVE ME,

625. MY ADVICE TO YOU, GO BACK, BECAUSE...

626. LARRY, LARRY, LARRY,

627. YOU'RE APOLOGIZING.

628. FOR NOTHING?

629. I WISH IT WAS SOMETHING, I WISH IT WAS SOMETHING.

630. PRETTY MUCH NOTHING.

631. IT IS NOTHING, IT'S SO UNIMPORTANT.

632. OH, COME ON, LARRY, PLEASE, SHARE WITH US.

633. COME ON, SPIT IT OUT, LARRY.

634. INTERESTING.

635. I'LL MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU FOLKS, OKAY?

636. WE'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT WAS, AND THEN WE CAN MOVE ON.

637. ALRIGHT, LARRY.

638. COME ON, SHARE WITH US!

639. ABOUT IT.

640. I WAS WALKING ALONG, WITH MY FRIEND,

641. IN SANTA MONICA,

642. AND DR. GRAMBS COMES JOGGING BY,

643. AND, HE'S IN VERY GOOD SHAPE, THIS MAN,

644. BY THE WAY, VERY GOOD SHAPE.

645. COME ON, LET'S NOT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH.

646. COME ON, LET'S GO.

647. WELL...

648. I SAID, UM...

649. TO DR. GRAMBS,

650. HE TOLD ME THAT HE'S A PATIENT OF DR. GRAMBS, AND I SAID,

651. "YOU LET HIM

652. AFFIRMATIVE ACTION THING?"

653. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE...

654. IT WAS A JOKE, I'M JUST, IT WAS A BAD JOKE.

655. TOO AFFABLE.

656. IN MY AFFABILITY.

657. AFFIRMATIVE ACTION?

658. COMPLETELY IN FAVOR OF IT, ARE YOU KIDDING?

659. I DON'T THINK WHITE PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE ANYTHING!

660. EATING CRUMBS,

661. AND I'M NOT EVEN JOKING ABOUT THAT.

662. AND, GUYS, I'VE LEARNED THAT HE'S A COMEDIAN,

663. ALL THE TIME,

664. I OVERREACTED.

665. THE TOP OFF HIS HEAD.

666. HE'S MUCH BETTER WHEN

667. AND LOOK IT OVER.

668. SO, MAYBE HE'S LEARNED A LESSON FROM ALL THIS?

669. YEAH, YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.

670. SAY "SISTER", BUT...

671. OKAY, EVERYONE, SO, PLEASE, MRS. DAVID,

672. AT THAT ARM, PLEASE.

673. AH, THANK YOU, YES, OKAY.

674. LARRY DAVID, MR. LARRY DAVID.

675. TWICE IN ONE EVENING, I'M ON A ROLL.

676. MY FRIENDS, THIS IS LARRY DAVID,

677. CLEARLY QUALIFIED,

678. BECAUSE HE'S A RACIST, A BONA FIDE RACIST,

679. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES,

680. TO HIS WHITE WIFE'S WHITE FRIENDS.

681. GOOD EVENING.

682. CALL THE DOCTOR.

683. I'M NOT ALLOWED TO CALL THE DOCTOR ON THE WEEKEND.

684. I DON'T THINK WE HAVE A CHOICE,

685. HAVE TO CALL HIM.

686. WE'RE OUT OF OPTIONS, REALLY, COME ON.

687. ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA CALL HIM, I'M GONNA PAGE HIM.

688. OH, WAIT, SO WHAT NUMBER DO I PUT IN?

689. PUT IN OUR HOME NUMBER, WE'LL BE HOME IN A MINUTE.

690. ALRIGHT, HE'S PAGED, THAT'S IT.

691. GREAT.

692. IT'S DONE.

693. OH, GOD!

694. WHAT'S HE GONNA DO, WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?

695. I DON'T KNOW.

696. WHAT'S HE GONNA DO, KILL US?

697. HELLO?

698. DAD, I CAN'T TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW!

699. NO, I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

700. HELLO? DR. ZEPPLER?

701. HI, IT'S CHERYL DAVID.

702. ANOTHER ONE RIGHT AWAY.

703. A LIFE THREATENING EMERGENCY?

704. YOURSELF TO DEATH!

705. IF IT GOES UNTREATED, I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW,

706. ON THE WESTSIDE.

707. THANK YOU.

708. NO, I WON'T EVER CALL YOU ON THE WEEKEND AGAIN,

709. THANK YOU, SO MUCH.

710. WON'T EVER CALL YOU ON THE WEEKEND?

711. OH, MY GOD, WHAT A JERK THIS GUY IS.

712. AT LEAST WE GOT IT, WE GOT IT.

713. GET YOURSELF A NEW DOCTOR, THIS GUY'S AN IDIOT.

714. ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA GO PICK IT UP.

715. TO GO WITH YOU?

716. NO, GO TAKE A HOT BATH AND I'LL BE BACK IN, UH,

717. 12, 15 MINUTES.

718. OKAY.

719. OKAY, THE DOCTOR SAYS

720. RENEWED ON TIME, OKAY?

721. NOW, IN TERMS OF THIS,

722. IT'S JUST TWO QUICK SHOTS,

723. UP FRONT, OKAY?

724. WITH THAT.

725. OKAY, MR. BRAZIL, BRAZIL...

726. UM, EXCUSE ME, I'M SORRY,

727. A PRESCRIPTION FOR MY WIFE.

728. YOUR NAME?

729. DAVID, YEAH, DR. ZEPPLER.

730. OH, ZEPPLER, YES, WE GOT THAT.

731. IT'S GONNA BE ABOUT 45 MINUTES TO AN HOUR, OKAY?

732. UH, MR. BRAZIL.

733. I MEAN, IT'S REALLY, IT'S AN EMERGENCY,

734. I'M NOT KIDDING.

735. SHE'S REALLY SCRATCHING, SHE'S BROKEN OUT ALL OVER.

736. I UNDERSTAND, SIR.

737. IT'S GONNA BE ABOUT 45 MINUTES TO AN HOUR,

738. YOU SEE, WE HAVE A BACKUP.

739. OKAY, JUST READ ALL THE INDICATIONS ON IT,

740. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT, PAY FOR THAT UP FRONT.

741. OKAY, UH, NEXT IS GUYAPHONE, GUYAPHONE.

742. OH, OKAY.

743. ALRIGHT, THIS IS PRETTY SIMPLE,

744. THAT YOU READ ALL...

745. I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU, MR. FILPOT,

746. IT'S JUST GONNA BE A COUPLE MORE MINUTES,

747. I'M NOT QUITE READY FOR YOU.

748. STRAIGHTENED OUT.

749. UM, I'M SORRY, UH.

750. YES.

751. CAN BE DONE ABOUT THIS?

752. DONE? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

753. YOU KNOW, I HEAR THINGS ARE DONE.

754. THINGS ARE DONE... WHAT IS THIS?

755. TO BRIBE ME?

756. NO, NO.

757. CAN BRIBE ME?

758. I CAN BE BRIBED?

759. BRIBE A PHARMACIST?

760. NO, I'M PAYING IN ADVANCE.

761. TAKE YOUR MONEY!

762. A PHARMACIST!

763. GET OUT, RIGHT NOW!

764. I'M SORRY.

765. SECURITY, SECURITY!

766. I'LL REMEMBER YOU, BUDDY!

768. ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY, L.P.

769. Captioned by

770. Captioned by