1. - I'm so sorry.
- Thank you so much for coming.Copy !req
2. - It's so good to see you.
- Thank you so much.Copy !req
3. Thank you.Copy !req
4. Oh, gosh, thank you.Copy !req
5. - I'm so sorry about your aunt.
- It was Cheryl's aunt.Copy !req
6. But thank you.Copy !req
7. Did you fly in from Florida?Copy !req
8. No, her sister and her sister's boyfriend
and her parents flew in.Copy !req
9. - I live here.
- I see. Condolences.Copy !req
10. - Nice service.
- Yeah.Copy !req
11. Thanks for the hotel room. I appreciate that.Copy !req
12. Please, my pleasure.Copy !req
13. I was gonna ask you, is that minibar...Copy !req
14. Is that included with the whole thing?Copy !req
15. - Sure, whatever you want.
- Great.Copy !req
16. Help yourself. Some M&Ms, Toblerone.Copy !req
17. - I don't drink.
- It's chocolate.Copy !req
18. - How's Cheryl holding up?
- I think she's okay.Copy !req
19. Cut my finger this morning
trying to put that...Copy !req
20. Make a hole in my belt.
I must have lost weight or something.Copy !req
21. It's killing me.Copy !req
22. - It's a good family.
- Yeah, they're very nice.Copy !req
23. - Becky's a nice girl, right?
- She's a doll, she's really sweet.Copy !req
24. How long did you date before...Copy !req
25. you and Cheryl got married?Copy !req
26. Not that long.
We were friends for a while and then...Copy !req
27. after we had intercourse,
we got married very quickly.Copy !req
28. Becky really wants to get married.Copy !req
29. And I'm not into it.Copy !req
30. And the day that we got the call,
I was gonna break up...Copy !req
31. I was over there to break up with Becky.Copy !req
32. Holy cow, so you flew out here...Copy !req
33. and you wanted to already be free.Copy !req
34. I missed it...Copy !req
35. by five minutes.Copy !req
36. My gosh. And then you couldn't do it
after she killed herself.Copy !req
37. What do think
would be the appropriate time...Copy !req
38. for somebody to wait till they...Copy !req
39. Till I tell her?Copy !req
40. If it was her mother, I'd ask you to
go back on the plane and wait...Copy !req
41. maybe six days, a week.Copy !req
42. For an aunt? For an aunt
who doesn't even live where you live...Copy !req
43. who you don't see that often...Copy !req
44. I think you could do it when you get home...Copy !req
45. when you get back to Florida.Copy !req
46. What should I say?Copy !req
47. Just tell her you're not happy.
That's very good, that works.Copy !req
48. I've never actually used it myself,
but I think it works.Copy !req
49. - Okay.
- I've got a breath problem? What...Copy !req
50. No, I thought I saw a bug, that's creepy.Copy !req
51. We never had this conversation, by the way.Copy !req
52. - No.
- Okay?Copy !req
53. I won't say anything.Copy !req
54. Thanks for your advice.Copy !req
55. I think I got the heat...Copy !req
56. turned down a bit.Copy !req
57. - What were you and Craig talking about?
- Louise.Copy !req
58. - Is he okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
59. You would be very surprised
how broken up he is about this.Copy !req
60. - He's been very quiet for several days.
- That's so sweet.Copy !req
61. - The service was wonderful, wasn't it?
- Yeah, it worked out nicely.Copy !req
62. Thank you.Copy !req
63. Listen, you guys...Copy !req
64. I want you to know if you want to stay
a couple of extra days in the house...Copy !req
65. that's fine, don't worry about it.Copy !req
66. You could stay another day in the hotel.Copy !req
67. - That's really nice. Stay there a night or two.
- Yeah, one night.Copy !req
68. That would be nice, because we hate flying.Copy !req
69. - Neither of us like to fly.
- Yeah, nobody likes to fly.Copy !req
70. I don't even like to drive.
And I don't like walking.Copy !req
71. So, occasionally, I don't really know
what mode of transportation to...Copy !req
72. I'm not sure what we can do about this...Copy !req
73. but we were a little upset
that there was no obituary.Copy !req
74. - I didn't even think of that.
- Like she didn't have a life out here.Copy !req
75. It sort of makes it real.Copy !req
76. My friend, my manager
actually knows somebody at the paper.Copy !req
77. - I could get something in there for you.
- That would be so good.Copy !req
78. - That'd be really sweet.
- I'll write it myself.Copy !req
79. I'll take care of the whole thing. No problem.Copy !req
80. There's anything you want to add,
tell me, I'll get it in.Copy !req
81. It's not gonna be funny, is it?Copy !req
82. - Mom, please.
- That's what he does.Copy !req
83. It's not gonna be funny.
It'll be very tasteful and appropriate.Copy !req
84. - It'll be fine.
- He's a writer, he can do anything.Copy !req
85. - Thank you so much.
- We love you, Larry.Copy !req
86. I love you, too.Copy !req
87. - Sorry I'm late.
- It's understandable.Copy !req
88. It's very hard to extricate myself
from mourners.Copy !req
89. - Why are you still wearing the tie?
- I don't know.Copy !req
90. If I didn't have to, I wouldn't.Copy !req
91. Once you've got the outfit on,
you might as well wear it to its completion.Copy !req
92. - Maintain the outfit.
- "To its completion."Copy !req
93. So you think you can take care of this,
this obituary thing?Copy !req
94. - Done deal.
- Really?Copy !req
95. 4:00 is the deadline.Copy !req
96. You get it to me by 4:00
and I'll fax it over to him.Copy !req
97. - Thanks so much.
- No problem.Copy !req
98. - Very nice of you.
- It's my pleasure.Copy !req
99. That'll score some big points
with the family.Copy !req
100. - How did she die?
- Killed herself.Copy !req
101. - No, she didn't.
- Killed herself...Copy !req
102. - Why?
- Nobody knows, she didn't leave a note.Copy !req
103. - That is so rude, isn't that?
- That's really rude.Copy !req
104. If you leave your house for 10 minutes
to get a container of milk...Copy !req
105. you tell somebody where you went.Copy !req
106. I let my wife know before I go anywhere.Copy !req
107. Would it have killed her to leave a note?Copy !req
108. - I don't know.
- My mom's in town with my dad.Copy !req
109. It's her birthday.Copy !req
110. It'd be great, considering what's happened
between you and them...Copy !req
111. if, for my mom's birthday,
you got her a little gift.Copy !req
112. Doesn't matter what it is, it's a nice gesture.Copy !req
113. It really is.Copy !req
114. Any ideas?Copy !req
115. No.Copy !req
116. - Okay.
- Good.Copy !req
117. Let's do this obituary thing, okay?
You have a pad?Copy !req
118. - Yeah, I got a pad.
- Okay.Copy !req
119. "Louise Hoenin, H-O-E-N-l-N...Copy !req
120. "devoted sister...Copy !req
121. "beloved aunt...Copy !req
122. "died of undisclosed causes..."Copy !req
123. It only took us about 20 minutes,
door to door.Copy !req
124. - Did very well.
- Yeah, that's unusual.Copy !req
125. I wasn't worried because I have
unlimited mileage on my rental car.Copy !req
126. - I wouldn't care how long it was.
- That's good.Copy !req
127. We were surprised
the freeway was virtually empty.Copy !req
128. - You can really get stuck in traffic for hours.
- Yeah.Copy !req
129. Sometimes it gets so bad
you can hardly breathe.Copy !req
130. That's for sure.Copy !req
131. I'm glad I don't live here.Copy !req
132. - Do you think Becky's coming down soon?
- I think so.Copy !req
133. She's been on the phone all morning
with her boyfriend...Copy !req
134. now her ex-boyfriend.Copy !req
135. He broke up with her last night and...Copy !req
136. Isn't that awful, Larry?Copy !req
137. - What kind of timing... It's unbelievable.
- Lousy.Copy !req
138. Anyway, I have the unlimited mileage.Copy !req
139. So I think I'm gonna go out for a while.Copy !req
140. - Is that okay?
- Where are you going?Copy !req
141. I was thinking about playing some golf.Copy !req
142. Are you joking?Copy !req
143. I'm not contributing anything.
I'm detracting.Copy !req
144. - You are.
- I'm a minus here, I'm not a plus.Copy !req
145. If your aunt died, I would be
right by your side to support you.Copy !req
146. If my aunt killed herself,
I'd encourage you to leave the house.Copy !req
147. I'd say, "Go, have some fun.
You don't have to stay here and mourn."Copy !req
148. - I would keep you around to mourn?
- You're not going golfing.Copy !req
149. I know we're all going to miss Louise.Copy !req
150. - Yeah.
- Very much so.Copy !req
151. But we have to continue.Copy !req
152. - We must go on.
- We must go on.Copy !req
153. Can't go on.Copy !req
154. Must go on.Copy !req
155. Laughter is a great healer
and you've gotta have a smile.Copy !req
156. You get over a lot of things that way.Copy !req
157. I once performed for Norman Cousins
in his hospital room...Copy !req
158. when he was on his deathbed.
He requested me to do five minutes.Copy !req
159. And I bombed, actually,
and he got much worse...Copy !req
160. and he had to watch some Marx Brothers
movies to actually resuscitate him, but...Copy !req
161. You know who's funny? That Carrot Top.
Have you seen that guy?Copy !req
162. He comes on The Tonight Show
once in a while.Copy !req
163. - Big mop of red hair.
- My gosh!Copy !req
164. - The obituary! Do we have the paper?
- Yeah, we want to look at that.Copy !req
165. Okay. I'll go get the paper.Copy !req
166. - No, don't you bother, I've got the car.
- You don't even know where it is.Copy !req
167. I have unlimited mileage,
I can drive anywhere.Copy !req
168. He knows what he's doing.Copy !req
169. - It's right around the corner, he'll find it.
- I'm sure he will.Copy !req
170. Gives him pleasure
to use the rental car anyway.Copy !req
171. You could move over a little bit now
because he's not sitting there anymore.Copy !req
172. - Get a little more room here.
- That's okay.Copy !req
173. - These are pretty good.
- Yeah.Copy !req
174. - How many can I get in my mouth at a time?
- Six.Copy !req
175. - You say six?
- Five.Copy !req
176. Three, four.Copy !req
177. "Look what they did to my Santino.Copy !req
178. "Gladys, George, look what they did."Copy !req
179. - Sugar.
- No, Becky.Copy !req
180. - No.
- Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
181. What did he say? What happened?Copy !req
182. He just kept repeating something
about not being happy.Copy !req
183. We could've worked through that.Copy !req
184. - The nerve of this guy!
- Jerk.Copy !req
185. - What kind of timing is this?
- I just buried my aunt!Copy !req
186. - I know.
- And he breaks up with me?Copy !req
187. - You don't do that to somebody.
- No.Copy !req
188. That's so awful.Copy !req
189. - I mean, he really loved me.
- Yeah.Copy !req
190. Did he say anything to you?Copy !req
191. I know how much he likes you,
I just thought maybe...Copy !req
192. No, we just, you know...Copy !req
193. he talked about Aunt Louise
and the minibar.Copy !req
194. The minibar?Copy !req
195. Oh, gosh.Copy !req
196. - This is ridiculous.
- Where are you going?Copy !req
197. I've got to get a birthday present
for Jeff's mother.Copy !req
198. I'm sorry, I forgot, today's her birthday.
I'll be right back, I'm sorry.Copy !req
199. Oh, God, all right,
I'm gonna be back in 20 minutes.Copy !req
200. Everybody stay here, okay?Copy !req
201. Gladys, you're here, okay, Barbara?
George, right here.Copy !req
202. Gladys, I'll be right back.
I'm just gonna get a birthday present.Copy !req
203. - I'm timing you.
- Half an hour at... 40 minutes at the most.Copy !req
204. 45 minutes.Copy !req
205. I'd like to buy a pair of sunglasses.
It's a birthday present.Copy !req
206. - Okay.
- For my friend's mother.Copy !req
207. - This one I like a lot.
- These are great.Copy !req
208. Elizabeth Taylor wears
the exact same glasses.Copy !req
209. Elizabeth Taylor? You're kidding!Copy !req
210. - Can I see that mirror?
- They're very in vogue now.Copy !req
211. - They are?
- Yeah, absolutely.Copy !req
212. - You see why?
- Yeah. I like that.Copy !req
213. - I think they're perfect.
- Beautiful. All right.Copy !req
214. - Really?
- Sure, come on.Copy !req
215. - Let me get you a case.
- I don't fool around.Copy !req
216. Give you a case,
I'll throw in some lens cleaner.Copy !req
217. - How would you like to pay?
- Credit card.Copy !req
218. - Can you gift-wrap these?
- No, I'm sorry, we don't wrap.Copy !req
219. How would one go about
getting this gift-wrapped?Copy !req
220. - Get some wrapping paper and wrap it.
- Okay, where would I get the paper?Copy !req
221. You know, there's a card store upstairs.
You could maybe go there.Copy !req
222. - You need a scissor, too, right?
- A scissor.Copy !req
223. - You need a scissor to cut the paper, right?
- To cut the paper, yeah.Copy !req
224. - And scotch tape, too, right?
- Right.Copy !req
225. - Do they sell all that in the same store?
- No, I don't believe they do.Copy !req
226. You could check.Copy !req
227. If you're gonna go get that stuff,
you might wanna get a bow.Copy !req
228. And a card.Copy !req
229. A bow and a card?Copy !req
230. Yeah, so she knows who the gift is from.Copy !req
231. I'm gonna be handing her the gift.
Isn't it obvious?Copy !req
232. You don't have to have a card,
I'm just saying.Copy !req
233. What a process this is, a bow and a card...Copy !req
234. Where do you get them?Copy !req
235. Is that in the same store as the scissor
and the scotch tape?Copy !req
236. - No, the card...
- How many stores are we talking about?Copy !req
237. I really don't know.Copy !req
238. Boy, this is very complicated.Copy !req
239. What?Copy !req
240. What? We got a paper, that's what.Copy !req
241. "Devoted sister, beloved cunt"?Copy !req
242. - That's what you put in the paper?
- This is a typo.Copy !req
243. - It should be "aunt"!
- Did Jeff look at this before he turned it in?Copy !req
244. They have proofreaders at papers!Copy !req
245. The woman leads a decent life and
this is how she ends up? "Beloved cunt"?Copy !req
246. My wife is upset.Copy !req
247. I'm just glad
you weren't in charge of the headstone!Copy !req
248. I meant "beloved aunt," not "beloved cunt"!Copy !req
249. - Don't keep saying it!
- Please.Copy !req
250. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
251. It's a typo. Don't you see? It's a typo!Copy !req
252. It's a typo, it's "aunt"!Copy !req
253. Excuse me for a second.Copy !req
254. I just got off the phone with Craig,
and I wanted see if this rings any bells.Copy !req
255. "It wasn't her mother who died,
it was just her aunt.Copy !req
256. "You should break up with her today.Copy !req
257. "You don't look happy,
you should break up!"Copy !req
258. - What?
- That's what he said.Copy !req
259. Did you tell Craig to break up with Becky?Copy !req
260. He talked to me, but I told him
to wait till he got back to Tallahassee!Copy !req
261. - I didn't say to do it last night at the wake.
- Never mind!Copy !req
262. - What is the matter with you?
- He's a bad guy, I was doing you a favor!Copy !req
263. I think you should just leave!Copy !req
264. You mean for tonight?Copy !req
265. At least, please.Copy !req
266. I am sorry.Copy !req
267. You know how I can get this gift-wrapped?Copy !req
268. Let me ask you something.Copy !req
269. How would one go about
getting this gift-wrapped?Copy !req
270. - Do you have the paper?
- No, I don't have anything.Copy !req
271. You could probably go to a stationery store.Copy !req
272. Stationery store for the scissor and tape...Copy !req
273. but you gotta go someplace else
for the paper.Copy !req
274. - Depending on what kind of paper you want.
- I don't give a shit.Copy !req
275. Then you should probably go
to a party store...Copy !req
276. where you can get gift-wrapping paper.Copy !req
277. But they don't have the tape and scissor.Copy !req
278. I don't know, they might,
I wouldn't bet on it, I would bring my own.Copy !req
279. Let me ask you a question.Copy !req
280. If I brought the scissor and the tape
to this party store you're talking about...Copy !req
281. - They have the paper.
would they wrap it for me?Copy !req
282. They might, honestly, I don't know,
because my wife wraps everything.Copy !req
283. But if you bring it with you,
if you have it there...Copy !req
284. if you just tip them or something.Copy !req
285. How would you go about
getting something like this gift-wrapped?Copy !req
286. - Just go to a Hallmark or something.
- A stationery store.Copy !req
287. That's for the paper.
They don't have the scissors and the tape.Copy !req
288. - They will.
- They got scissors and tape?Copy !req
289. - Really?
- Ribbon and bows and cards.Copy !req
290. - They have everything there.
- Hallmark has that whole thing there?Copy !req
291. Where's the Hallmark?Copy !req
292. I don't know.Copy !req
293. - You gotta fix this pump over here.
- Okay.Copy !req
294. All right, forget it, I'm all done here.Copy !req
295. You don't know where the Hallmark is.Copy !req
296. I thought maybe tomorrow, if you're up to it,
we'd go to the outlet center.Copy !req
297. - All right.
- Hi! Look who's here.Copy !req
298. - Hello.
- Hi.Copy !req
299. - Hi.
- Be nice.Copy !req
300. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
301. Happy birthday.Copy !req
302. That was sweet of you.Copy !req
303. What kind of present is that?
Not wrapped nicely.Copy !req
304. Yeah, I'm sorry about that.Copy !req
305. I looked in stores,
I couldn't find any wrapping store.Copy !req
306. There's no wrapping stores anywhere?Copy !req
307. Oh, my gosh!Copy !req
308. - Sunglasses!
- Look at those.Copy !req
309. My gosh, look at this!Copy !req
310. Elizabeth Taylor wears glasses.
She has the exact same glasses!Copy !req
311. - You hear that?
- I can't use 'em.Copy !req
312. I have a prescription in my lenses.Copy !req
313. - I'm sorry.
- All right, no, I'll get...Copy !req
314. - I'll take care of it.
- I want to do it. I'll get lenses put in.Copy !req
315. Give me your prescription
and we'll make them prescription glasses.Copy !req
316. Isn't that nice? How did the obit go?Copy !req
317. - You got a paper?
- Yeah, it's over there.Copy !req
318. Obituaries, it's in the back there.Copy !req
319. Here, I'll show you how it went.
Here's how it went.Copy !req
320. "Louise Hoenin,
devoted sister, beloved cunt"?Copy !req
321. What? It says that in the paper?
Let me see this.Copy !req
322. - That's unbelievable!
- I know!Copy !req
323. You said "aunt," I wrote down "aunt"!
That's bullshit!Copy !req
324. - Don't they proofread these things?
- I am so sorry.Copy !req
325. Oh, God, Larry.Copy !req
326. - I need a letter of apology from your friend...
- Retraction.Copy !req
327. What are they gonna say?Copy !req
328. "We're sorry we called her a cunt,
we meant 'aunt"'?Copy !req
329. Point well taken,
I'll have them write a letter of apology.Copy !req
330. - And you, too.
- I'll write one, too, I promise.Copy !req
331. Still, to print this...
Cheryl must be so upset.Copy !req
332. She kicked me out of the house.Copy !req
333. She kicked you out?Copy !req
334. Her relatives, her parents, friends,
they came after me like a pack of...Copy !req
335. - I thought they were gonna kill me.
- You'll stay here.Copy !req
336. - I can't, I have nothing to wear.
- I've got lots of stuff for you to wear!Copy !req
337. You'll stay here.
Mom and Dad are here anyway.Copy !req
338. - It's no big deal, I'm making a great dinner.
- I'm so sorry.Copy !req
339. - You should call Cheryl and apologize.
- I will.Copy !req
340. Do me a favor. When I die,
let someone else handle the obit, okay?Copy !req
341. - How much longer till dinner?
- 25 minutes, 30, tops.Copy !req
342. - Dad, let's go finish the movie, come on.
- What movie?Copy !req
343. Larry, let me see those glasses again.Copy !req
344. - Those sunglasses.
- Okay, sure.Copy !req
345. I can't see through them,
but I can get an idea.Copy !req
346. They're beauties.
Elizabeth Taylor. It's no joke.Copy !req
347. Wait a minute.
I think I can see my reflection in here.Copy !req
348. - Wait, hold it, I'll help you out here.
- Good.Copy !req
349. So I'll get the prescription for this thing.
We'll get that taken care of.Copy !req
350. It shouldn't take too long, you know?
They look good, though.Copy !req
351. See, Mom, I told you,
he's got a very, very sweet side.Copy !req
352. Very.Copy !req
353. Yeah?Copy !req
354. - You gotta go.
- What?Copy !req
355. - You gotta go.
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
356. You copped a feel off my mom,
you gotta go.Copy !req
357. I copped a feel off your mom?
What are you saying to me?Copy !req
358. She was moping around.
I'm saying, "What's the matter?"Copy !req
359. She said, "Larry touched my bosom
for several seconds."Copy !req
360. Schmuck! Listen to me for a second!Copy !req
361. What?Copy !req
362. We're in the kitchen.
She wanted to try on the sunglasses again.Copy !req
363. She was looking in the toaster
and I was holding the toaster...Copy !req
364. she wanted to get a better look
at her face in it...Copy !req
365. and she leaned
against the back of my hand...Copy !req
366. and so, I didn't want to just turn...Copy !req
367. I didn't want to hurt her feelings
by taking it away fast.Copy !req
368. I'm sorry.Copy !req
369. She's all freaked out.Copy !req
370. You gotta go.Copy !req
371. Are you kicking me out?Copy !req
372. All right, look, set the alarm.
Do you know how to set the alarm?Copy !req
373. 7:00 a.m.Copy !req
374. She rubbed up against the back of my hand!Copy !req
375. - I believe you, it's not about that!
- You think I feel up old ladies?Copy !req
376. I apologized, it's not about that!
It's not about that.Copy !req
377. You gotta get out of here
at 7:00 in the morning.Copy !req
378. I'll be out of here early in the morning.Copy !req
379. Grab a bagel from the kitchen and get out.Copy !req
380. I won't grab anything, I'll just walk out.Copy !req
381. Your mother thinks I touched her breast?
That is so sick.Copy !req
382. It's what she thinks, what can I say?
Sweet dreams.Copy !req
383. "Sweet dreams."Copy !req
384. I'll dream about fucking your mother.
"Sweet dreams."Copy !req
385. - You!
- Quiet.Copy !req
386. - How dare you.
- I didn't do anything.Copy !req
387. - Let me explain what happened.
- Do you think I enjoy that kind of thing?Copy !req
388. - Don't be ridiculous, I didn't do anything.
- This has gotta stop.Copy !req
389. - Please tell her I didn't do anything.
- Ma, he didn't do anything.Copy !req
390. It was the toaster and the hand.
You rubbed against me.Copy !req
391. You're gonna wake up Sammy.Copy !req
392. - Did you see what he did?
- I explained to her, it was an accident.Copy !req
393. - It was an accident.
- How convenient.Copy !req
394. It was an accident,
you rubbed up against me.Copy !req
395. What kind of human being are you?Copy !req
396. Yes, you pushed up against my hand!
I didn't do anything!Copy !req
397. - It was an accident.
- You have to go.Copy !req
398. I think it's better. Okay, Ma?
He's gonna leave.Copy !req
399. - Go back to sleep.
- Sick person.Copy !req
400. Enough with the "sick person,"
he's not a sick person.Copy !req
401. I'm really sorry.Copy !req
402. This is horrible, I'm so sorry.
Please accept my apology.Copy !req
403. - It's not you.
- I'll straighten it out tomorrow.Copy !req
404. They get a little crazy, my parents.Copy !req
405. I'm sorry. It's an awful thing.Copy !req
406. Even when I was dating,
I would wait four months...Copy !req
407. before I would try and make a breast move,
you know?Copy !req
408. I understand.Copy !req
409. Not in their kitchen,
in front of their daughter-in-law and son...Copy !req
410. I know, it's horrible.
I'll smooth it all over tomorrow.Copy !req
411. Do me a favor.
Let me take care of the sunglasses.Copy !req
412. - The sunglasses?
- Give them to me, let me take care of them.Copy !req
413. - You want me to give her a gift now?
- You gave it to her.Copy !req
414. - After this entertaining evening?
- You gave it to her.Copy !req
415. - I don't think so. No.
- That's called "Indian giving."Copy !req
416. I know what it's called.Copy !req
417. It's a very racist term, but I'm okay with that.Copy !req
418. What could you possibly do with them?Copy !req
419. I'll give them to somebody who likes me.Copy !req
420. Where are you going now?Copy !req
421. I don't know, I can't go home.Copy !req
422. Guess I'll go to a hotel.Copy !req
423. Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel,
how can I help you?Copy !req
424. I'll see you this evening, thank you.Copy !req
425. - Welcome, how can I help you?
- I'd like a room, please.Copy !req
426. I'm very sorry, we're completely filled
to capacity this evening.Copy !req
427. Okay.Copy !req
428. There's a guy in this hotel,
his name's Craig Butler.Copy !req
429. I'm paying for his room.
I don't want to anymore.Copy !req
430. Wake him up, get him out, that's my room.Copy !req
431. The room's paid for through tomorrow.
The cards have been run for this evening.Copy !req
432. He's authorized to be there till
11:00 a.m. Tomorrow, check-out time.Copy !req
433. Our manager will work out the bill with you,
if you come back tomorrow at 10:00.Copy !req
434. You don't have a room for me
in this hotel tonight? Not one room?Copy !req
435. Don't you always keep extra rooms
for people?Copy !req
436. Not one. You're not the first person
we've turned away.Copy !req
437. I'm Frank Sinatra, Jr.,
you're turning me away tonight?Copy !req
438. - Jr. Walks in and you turn him away?
- Yes, sir, unfortunately.Copy !req
439. The Pope is being shooed out
into the street.Copy !req
440. - Are you going to shoo The Pope out?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
441. We are filled to capacity, sir.Copy !req
442. - A pair of sunglasses?
- Excuse me?Copy !req
443. I have a pair of sunglasses here.Copy !req
444. - You want to give...
- Yeah.Copy !req
445. - Elizabeth Taylor sunglasses.
- They're very nice...Copy !req
446. Elizabeth Taylor wears these sunglasses.Copy !req
447. Thank you, sir, I wear prescription.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
448. - You ever watch the Seinfeld show?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
449. Just curious.Copy !req
450. - Hey, Larry!
- Larry, hi!Copy !req
451. - Hi, buddy.
- This is Larry?Copy !req
452. Thanks for ratting me out to Becky,
really appreciated it.Copy !req
453. I did not rat you out.Copy !req
454. You told her everything we talked about.
And I told you not to say anything.Copy !req
455. That's your problem.Copy !req
456. - What a jerk.
- I'm a jerk? Is that right?Copy !req
457. Are you going to beat me up?Copy !req
458. - Maybe I will.
- Go ahead, take a shot.Copy !req
459. You Hollywood people...Copy !req
460. Gentlemen, I cannot have the two of you
standing in the lobby of the hotel...Copy !req
461. yelling at each other.Copy !req
462. Excuse me, are you guests
at the hotel this evening?Copy !req
463. - Yes, I am.
- Can I see your room key, please?Copy !req
464. - Yes, sure.
- I'm paying for that.Copy !req
465. Excuse me, one at a time.Copy !req
466. It would be best
if you go back to your room.Copy !req
467. Very good, thank you very much.Copy !req
468. He's here because I'm paying for him.Copy !req
469. Sir, do you have a room key here
at the Roosevelt?Copy !req
470. - No.
- Then I need to ask you to leave.Copy !req
471. - Can I interest you in some sunglasses?
- No, just leave, please.Copy !req