1. So many great actors
in New York, you know.
Copy !req
2. Oh! Totally.
By the way, well worth the trip.
Copy !req
3. Well worth the trip.
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4. He's remarkable.
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5. I don't know, I think we're
really set with the cast.
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6. Yeah. They're all pretty good,
with one notable exception.
Copy !req
7. Maria Sofia.
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8. Mr. Greene?
Yup.
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9. Hi, Mr. David.
I'm Miriam Clubok.
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10. I'll be your driver today.
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11. Can I take your bag?
Sure. Thank you.
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12. This way.
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13. It's not a problem at all.
It's part of the service.
Copy !req
14. - I don't think so. I got it.
- Are you sure?
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15. Oh, hey!
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16. Seth Rogen, he's filming
that Viking movie on the lot.
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17. - Yeah.
- I asked him if he wanted
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18. as Bud Friedman.
He wants to do it.
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19. - Really?
- Yeah.
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20. It's all coming together.
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21. I'm right there,
behind the red bag.
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22. Oh! There's mine.
Brown one, right behind you.
Copy !req
23. - I got it.
- Oh, I can grab that.
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24. - I got it.
- I must insist.
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25. - Sir!
- I got it.
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26. Sir, I have the bag.
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27. - Well, let me carry these then.
- No, no. Won't be necessary.
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28. I got it. I got it.
Thank— I— Please.
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29. I got it, thank you.
Thank you.
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30. You ready?
- Yeah.
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31. - They look heavy. I can help.
- I got it.
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32. Oh, sh—
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33. - Oh, look who's back.
- Hey.
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34. - How was the trip to New York?
- Trip was good,
Copy !req
35. but I hurt my back because they
sent this tiny woman driver,
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36. I was uncomfortable with her
carrying my bags,
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37. and I schlepped those.
Copy !req
38. You're being accommodating.
If you're gonna do that shit,
Copy !req
39. you might as well
put her in the backseat
Copy !req
40. and you fucking drive.
Copy !req
41. I'm gonna call the company.
Copy !req
42. How may I help you?
Copy !req
43. Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry.
What happened?
Copy !req
44. It's not a big deal.
Copy !req
45. You sent a woman driver
to pick me up,
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46. and I was uncomfortable with her
carrying my bags.
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47. I kind of hurt my back
a little bit,
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48. to tell you the truth.
Copy !req
49. the next time I need a car,
that you will send a man.
Copy !req
50. Did this young lady
refuse to help you?
Copy !req
51. No, not at all.
She was extremely cooperative.
Copy !req
52. Mr. David, let me
just reassure you
that our female drivers can do
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53. anything our male drivers
can do.
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54. Yes,
I'm quite sure they can,
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55. but I just don't want a woman
carrying my bags.
Copy !req
56. - I don't think it's a good look.
- Okay, so this is about looks.
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57. You want a more attractive
woman driver.
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58. Is that what you're saying?
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59. I just don't want
a woman driver, that's all.
Copy !req
60. Mr. David, we're in
a pretty evolved society.
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61. I'm afraid that may
come off a little sexist.
Copy !req
62. Sexist? Oh, God! Please. No.
Copy !req
63. Obviously, you don't
know me at all.
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64. I'm not even
the least bit sexist.
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65. Although I do like to
have sex with women.
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66. I don't know if that
makes me a sexist. Does that—
Copy !req
67. Does wanting to have sex
with women make you a sexist?
Copy !req
68. I don't know.
It's an interesting question.
Copy !req
69. Are you saying
you want to have—
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70. you want to have sex
with our drivers?
Copy !req
71. No, I don't want to have sex
with your drivers.
Copy !req
72. Are you saying you
want to have sex with me?
Copy !req
73. What?
Who said anything about you?
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74. I don't wanna
have sex with you.
Copy !req
75. Don't be ridiculous,
I would never!
Copy !req
76. Never? What, excuse me?
Copy !req
77. Of course, maybe I would,
if— if we met,
Copy !req
78. and, uh,
and you were attractive,
Copy !req
79. I— I would consider it,
you know, but—
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80. If I was attractive?
Copy !req
81. No, no. I don't care
if you're attractive.
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82. I can be attracted to people
who aren't attractive.
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83. I've had sex with many women
who aren't attractive
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84. because I was attracted to them.
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85. Yeah, tap that ass.
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86. Wow, okay.
So now I'm unattractive?
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87. No, I didn't say
you're not attractive.
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88. I don't even know you.
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89. That's not what this is about.
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90. I mean, you sound attractive,
but you know,
Copy !req
91. the telephone's very deceiving.
You never know.
Copy !req
92. I was once on the phone
with a woman from Ticketmaster
Copy !req
93. for half an hour, and I met her,
and it was—
Copy !req
94. it was ridiculous, it was crazy!
Copy !req
95. Mr. David,
this is really out of line
Copy !req
96. and very uncomfortable
for me at this point.
Copy !req
97. I'm extremely uncomfortable.
You know what?
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98. Let's forget I even called.
I don't care.
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99. Send a woman. It's fine.
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100. You gonna tap that?
Copy !req
101. - Are you nuts? Tap what?
- Come on, you hittin' that.
Copy !req
102. Oh, that's the roofer.
Copy !req
103. Hey, how you doing?
- Hey.
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104. I'm looking for Mr. Larry David.
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105. Yeah, me.
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106. - Ah.
- I'm here to check out your leak.
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107. It's the guest room.
It's up that way.
Copy !req
108. Well, that's where it starts,
Copy !req
109. and, uh, you never know
where it goes.
Copy !req
110. So I gotta get my ladder
and get up there
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111. and check it out.
Copy !req
112. - You're going up?
- Yeah, I'm a roofer.
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113. That's what I do.
Copy !req
114. Leon.
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115. Hey, Leon.
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116. He's going up.
Copy !req
117. - You go on the fucking roof?
- Well, yeah.
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118. I don't wanna take up
any more of your time.
Copy !req
119. Twenty minutes, okay?
And I'll give you a quote.
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120. Let me get my ladder.
Copy !req
121. Let's check this puppy out.
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122. Ooh!
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123. You know what?
Copy !req
124. I think I'm gonna
go outside for a while.
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125. Yeah, yeah.
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126. Uh, how's business here?
Copy !req
127. Business is good.
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128. Why are there no people here?
Copy !req
129. Well, the doctor likes to
space out the appointments
Copy !req
130. so that everybody gets
a good amount of time with him.
Copy !req
131. "What's the last thing
you bought
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132. that changed your life?"
Copy !req
133. I don't know.
Copy !req
134. Ah, the juicy tomato.
Copy !req
135. Just because
Tom Brady avoids them—
Copy !req
136. Ah! Okay.
Copy !req
137. Well, great news, my friend.
As expected, you are gonna live.
Copy !req
138. You have a quadratus strain,
Copy !req
139. which can be explained
by the fact that you lifted
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140. something heavy,
which you cannot do.
Copy !req
141. Well, what was I—
What was I supposed to do?
Copy !req
142. She was this frail woman.
Copy !req
143. Well, I completely
understand that.
Copy !req
144. If it were me,
I wouldn't have done it.
Copy !req
145. - Why? What do you mean?
- My wife cheated on me.
Copy !req
146. - Really?
- Yeah, three times.
Copy !req
147. So you're leading
the single life now?
Copy !req
148. - Hey, let me ask you a question.
- Sure, anything.
Copy !req
149. How come there's nobody
in your waiting room?
Copy !req
150. Oh, well, you know what?
I like to space them out.
Copy !req
151. Privacy. You know, we get some
high profile people in here.
Copy !req
152. Like you or Harrison Ford.
Copy !req
153. Oh, Harrison Ford is a patient?
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154. I would tell you
he's incredibly lovely.
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155. Bit of a curmudgeon
sometimes, but—
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156. - So he's a patient?
- Nope, didn't say that.
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157. I would assume
based on interviews I've seen.
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158. - No, I didn't. I never said—
- Yeah, you did.
Copy !req
159. - after his last plane crash.
- Okay.
Copy !req
160. Well, why don't I get you set up
with a foam roller?
Copy !req
161. Foam roller.
Very easy to use.
Copy !req
162. - I'm gonna give you a—
- So you want me to roll?
Copy !req
163. I just want you to roll on it.
Copy !req
164. Elizabeth at the front desk...
Copy !req
165. will walk you through
how to use it.
Copy !req
166. Self-explanatory.
Copy !req
167. It should be pretty simple,
Copy !req
168. but we will give you a document
with some illustrations on it
Copy !req
169. to walk you through it as well.
Okay, Larry?
Copy !req
170. And then I'm gonna
write you a prescription.
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171. How do you do
with anti-inflammatories?
Copy !req
172. I know, as a Jew, I get a little
rumbly in my tumbly.
Copy !req
173. Uh, I do okay.
Ah!
Copy !req
174. That's why I never became
a basketball player.
Copy !req
175. I will see you back here
in a couple of days,
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176. and you, my friend, should be
feeling as good as new.
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177. Okay.
Copy !req
178. It was completely frayed,
like loose violin strings.
Copy !req
179. And holes in it. It was like
the underwear had been to war.
Copy !req
180. I don't know why
you didn't run out.
Copy !req
181. Why? I'm not gonna run out.
That's rude.
Copy !req
182. You know what? My back actually
feels a little better.
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183. - It does?
- Yeah.
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184. - Really?
- I am done.
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185. - Hey, you know what?
- What?
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186. Oh...
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187. And look at this, look at this.
All right.
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188. Let's see this set, huh?
Let's see.
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189. Oh.
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190. Oh, my God.
This is freaky. This is—
Copy !req
191. Really, this is exactly—
Copy !req
192. - What was in here?
- Huh?
Copy !req
193. Oh. That's a nice—
Copy !req
194. Holy shit. Look at this.
Copy !req
195. This is the exact dimension
of the apartment.
Copy !req
196. I lived here from eight
to twenty-five.
Copy !req
197. Look at the size
of this kitchen we had.
Copy !req
198. Come on,
let's check out wardrobe.
Copy !req
199. Oh, this is great.
This feels good, yeah.
Copy !req
200. - Ah, there he is. Hey.
- Hey.
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201. - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
202. Those are good. Yeah, very '70s.
Copy !req
203. Oh, um, I was just looking
at the schedule and I realized,
Copy !req
204. and this is totally my fault,
I'm so sorry,
Copy !req
205. but I can't make anything
after four on Thursdays.
Copy !req
206. I have a church thing.
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207. Church?
Yeah.
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208. Your last name's Steinberg.
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209. Oh, I'm a Jew for Jesus.
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210. I love this one.
Nice.
Copy !req
211. So, again, I can totally work
around it, if not,
Copy !req
212. - No. No.
- Oh, well, uh, We'll fix it in the schedule.
Copy !req
213. Bless you. Thank you so much.
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214. - Sure.
- Okay.
Copy !req
215. Jew for Jesus, really?
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216. And do you think
he's sincere about it?
Copy !req
217. - Oh, totally.
- Yes, totally sincere.
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218. I was so shocked and stunned
Copy !req
219. that that face, that punim—
Copy !req
220. And by the way,
you look at this kid,
Copy !req
221. his parents are
a big ball of Jewish.
Copy !req
222. He's screaming Jew.
Copy !req
223. What do you think about
this whole Jews for Jesus thing?
Copy !req
224. That's crazy stuff. I don't know
why anyone would do that.
Copy !req
225. You know, when you're
a Jew for Jesus,
Copy !req
226. But as much as
you're embraced by the Gentiles,
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227. you're reviled by the Jews.
Copy !req
228. He's— You know,
he's considered like a traitor.
Copy !req
229. That's right.
He's left us.
Copy !req
230. They'll put that one
in the front.
They're proud of that.
Copy !req
231. - "We took him in." You know?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
232. - "We got one."
- We got one.
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233. - We got one.
- We got one.
Copy !req
234. Why they want one, I don't know.
Copy !req
235. - But they got one.
- They got one.
Copy !req
236. - Two o'clock? I got it.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
237. Hello, gentlemen.
How are we doing?
Copy !req
238. - Hello.
- Hi.
Copy !req
239. I'm gonna get the steak-frites.
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240. Spinach salad for me, please.
Copy !req
241. - Please.
- With the anchovies?
Copy !req
242. Yeah. I like anchovies. So what?
Copy !req
243. - It's just a strong choice.
- Who does that?
Copy !req
244. You know, it's unbelievable,
the contempt
Copy !req
245. that people have for you
when you order anchovies.
Copy !req
246. It's like I'm a pornographer
or something.
Copy !req
247. I can honestly say, I've never
seen someone say yes
Copy !req
248. to anchovies on the Caesar.
Have you?
Copy !req
249. You know what it's like?
It's like going to church
Copy !req
250. - on Thursday.
- Right. It's an odd choice.
Copy !req
251. You know what?
Forget the anchovies.
Copy !req
252. - Okay.
- Why would you do that?
Copy !req
253. I don't want them anymore.
Copy !req
254. - You ruined my lunch.
- I just thought it was strange.
Copy !req
255. okay, lot of things
you eat in particular,
Copy !req
256. that I don't comment on,
that I find offensive.
Copy !req
257. - Ice cream?
- No, I like ice cream.
Copy !req
258. - Okay, an omelet?
- I like an omelet.
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259. - French toast?
- Love French toast.
Copy !req
260. So what the fuck
are you talking about?
Copy !req
261. Okay, you know what?
No anchovies. We're good.
Copy !req
262. - Okay.
- Okay. Thank you.
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263. You're a little defensive
in the world of anchovies.
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264. I wish you would've
gotten the anchovies.
Copy !req
265. - Yeah.
- Oh, jeez. I need to charge.
Copy !req
266. Don't you think
someone should be able
to comment on food?
Copy !req
267. Always be able
to comment.
Copy !req
268. - Hi. You have a charger?
- Oh, it's being used.
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269. - Is that the only one?
- Yeah, unfortunately.
Copy !req
270. - Who's using it?
- Um... that gentleman is.
Copy !req
271. - The guy in the tie?
- Yeah, at your table.
Copy !req
272. - What's he at?
- He's at 23 percent.
Copy !req
273. Oh. Hey, you're at 23 percent.
I'm at two.
Copy !req
274. Can I take over the charger?
Copy !req
275. Hey, I was there first.
So what?
Copy !req
276. You know, if we were in a gym,
you're on a treadmill,
Copy !req
277. you can't go more than
half an hour.
Copy !req
278. You got people waiting.
Copy !req
279. Uh, would you mind unplugging
his phone and plugging mine in?
Copy !req
280. You want me to unplug
your friend's phone?
Copy !req
281. Yeah.
Copy !req
282. Even though he just told you no?
Copy !req
283. - Yeah.
- But he'll know.
Copy !req
284. He'll be able to see.
Copy !req
285. So what? I don't care.
Copy !req
286. that I'd rather not
get involved with.
Copy !req
287. - So you're not gonna do it?
- No.
Copy !req
288. - This stinks.
- Your own fault.
Copy !req
289. No, it's your fault.
It's your fault.
Copy !req
290. - You did it to yourself.
- No, I didn't do it to myself.
Copy !req
291. Yeah, you did.
You did it to yourself.
Copy !req
292. - You did it to me.
- No.
Copy !req
293. Hey, what time is it?
Copy !req
294. You were supposed to remind me
when it was two o'clock.
Copy !req
295. You're right. I forgot.
I'm sorry.
Copy !req
296. Oh, my God. My— my car.
Copy !req
297. - My car!
- I'm sorry.
Copy !req
298. My fault, Larry.
Copy !req
299. He's not having a good day,
that's for sure.
Copy !req
300. Should've said something to me.
Copy !req
301. Are you kidding me? Shit.
Copy !req
302. - Towed. Towed.
- Ah.
Copy !req
303. - I'm sorry. That sucks.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
304. You could've reminded me.
You said you would remind me.
Copy !req
305. - I'm just saying.
- So it's my fault?
Copy !req
306. Yeah, you didn't remind me.
Copy !req
307. But when you said, "Remind me
of something at two," it felt
so light. It's so toothless.
Copy !req
308. Look, you're the reminder,
I'm the remindee.
Copy !req
309. Once the reminder takes on
remindership, you own it.
Copy !req
310. So let me get this clear.
Copy !req
311. has to assume the person will
die if they're not reminded.
Is that right?
Copy !req
312. - Death is the...
- Death is the consequence.
Copy !req
313. Death could be the consequence.
Copy !req
314. The remindee has to place
his trust in the reminder.
Copy !req
315. - Right.
- It's the sacred pact.
Copy !req
316. By the way,
if it's so important,
Copy !req
317. I did set the alarm,
but my battery died
Copy !req
318. because Jeff wouldn't
let me charge.
Copy !req
319. But the truth is, if you had
your phone, we're not in this.
Copy !req
320. - Okay? Okay.
- Absolutely. It's all his fault.
Copy !req
321. Let's go enjoy
the rest of the lunch.
Copy !req
322. - Hey, man.
- Oh, you made coffee, great.
Copy !req
323. Man, I had the worst,
worst night's sleep.
Copy !req
324. I felt like I heard creaking,
Copy !req
325. The size of that motherfucker
walking around
all over the roof,
Copy !req
326. we're lucky the fucking drywall
ain't cracking and shit
Copy !req
327. from his big ass.
Copy !req
328. You just lay there
and your mind just wanders,
Copy !req
329. and you can't get back to bed.
Copy !req
330. You think about
all this crazy stuff.
Copy !req
331. without the beard,
and she was really attractive.
Copy !req
332. Would you try and date her
and convince her to shave?
Copy !req
333. Who the fuck ate my last
fucking Haagen-Dazs Popsicle?
Copy !req
334. I don't know. It wasn't me.
Copy !req
335. You know who's been here,
Copy !req
336. It's that fat-ass,
goddamn roofer.
Copy !req
337. That motherfucker is
F-A-T positive.
Copy !req
338. You know what I'm saying?
If a hat was missing,
Copy !req
339. I would blame a bald head
motherfucker like you.
Copy !req
340. That's the roofer.
Copy !req
341. - Hey, Larry.
- How are ya?
Copy !req
342. Good. I got something
special to show you.
Copy !req
343. I have got
a brand-new palette of tiles
Copy !req
344. to replace
the cracked ones on the roof.
Copy !req
345. I'm sure they're fine.
I don't need to see them.
Copy !req
346. Oh, you're gonna be
very impressed.
Come on. Come on.
Copy !req
347. There's no point
in showing me tiles.
Copy !req
348. Look at those bad boys.
Copy !req
349. - Wow.
- Oh, fantastic. Gorgeous tiles.
Copy !req
350. Only the best.
Copy !req
351. I'll be up there
for a couple of days,
if you need me.
Copy !req
352. I'm gonna put these in,
and it'll be good as new.
Copy !req
353. - You're going up?
- Yeah. That's what I do.
Copy !req
354. - Couple of days?
- You want it perfect, don't you?
Copy !req
355. What do you do?
Why don't you send
this kid up there?
Copy !req
356. Eric's in training.
Copy !req
357. - Yeah.
- Eric is my assistant.
Copy !req
358. Yeah. I don't go up. He goes up.
Copy !req
359. You go up...
- I—
Copy !req
360. I'm gonna be honest
with you, Larry.
Copy !req
361. - Tell him.
- I'm looking into tattooing.
Copy !req
362. Tattoo. Tattoo artist.
Copy !req
363. Why don't you
give Larry a tattoo?
Copy !req
364. Oh. I mean,
I'd be down for that.
Copy !req
365. That's not gonna happen.
Copy !req
366. He's the roofer.
I'm the roofer's helper.
Copy !req
367. He goes up, I stay down here.
Copy !req
368. Did you ask him
about my popsicles?
Copy !req
369. He's not interested
in your food.
Copy !req
370. No, no. He's not interested
in your fucking food.
Copy !req
371. He don't want the fucking
mung beans
Copy !req
372. and fucking wheatgrass, olives.
Copy !req
373. He don't want no fucking olives
with the red—
Copy !req
374. Pimento?
Copy !req
375. after she have a baby.
Copy !req
376. He wants all my snacks and shit.
Copy !req
377. Okay, you know what?
I can't stay here.
Copy !req
378. I'm not gonna stay here.
I didn't sleep last night.
Copy !req
379. I'm packing a bag.
Copy !req
380. I'm not staying here
a couple days.
Copy !req
381. - Are you kidding me?
- What you gonna do?
Copy !req
382. I don't know.
I'll go to Freddy's.
Copy !req
383. Oh, shit. I don't have my car.
My car got towed.
Copy !req
384. And I gotta go
to the chiropractor.
Copy !req
385. I gotta go to work.
This really stinks!
Copy !req
386. Oh, shit! What the fuck?
Copy !req
387. Hello.
- You called for a car?
Copy !req
388. I did. Yeah.
Copy !req
389. I gotta make a stop.
All right.
Copy !req
390. - Hey.
- Larry! How we doing today?
Copy !req
391. You know what? Much better.
Copy !req
392. That's what I like to hear.
Tell me.
Copy !req
393. You have worked magic.
Copy !req
394. - So, pain is lessened?
- Yes, yes.
Copy !req
395. So, here's what I think
we're gonna do.
Copy !req
396. I think I'm going to
lower the dosage,
Copy !req
397. - or maybe even cut you off entirely.
- Okay. Okay.
Copy !req
398. And then I wanna stick with
the foam roller,
Copy !req
399. - but I'm gonna give you a firmer foam roller.
- Oh.
Copy !req
400. And remember, the key is,
you don't wanna push too hard.
Copy !req
401. Okay.
- Just enough to make it work.
Copy !req
402. And what do we got here?
Copy !req
403. Yeah.
Let's go with this bad boy.
Copy !req
404. So, Elizabeth at the front
will walk you through it.
Copy !req
405. Same principle as last time.
You all right?
Copy !req
406. Um...
Copy !req
407. All right.
Can I be honest with you?
Copy !req
408. - Yeah.
- So, the first time I was here,
Copy !req
409. you bent over...
and I noticed...
Copy !req
410. that your underwear
was quite frayed.
Copy !req
411. - Frayed how?
- It was stringy,
Copy !req
412. and you had holes in it as well.
Copy !req
413. And I'm coming to the conclusion
Copy !req
414. that the reason that I don't see
patients in your office—
Copy !req
415. Is because of the nature
of my underwear.
Copy !req
416. Yes. I think
they've stopped coming
Copy !req
417. because they see your underwear
Copy !req
418. You're losing a lot of business.
Copy !req
419. Because look what it says
about you.
Copy !req
420. Slovenly, unkempt,
can't take care of himself.
Copy !req
421. Who wants to see
a doctor like that?
Copy !req
422. Nobody. I wouldn't want
to see that doctor.
Copy !req
423. Your underwear, it's threadbare
beyond all normal usage.
Copy !req
424. You gotta have
some underwear awareness.
Copy !req
425. - What the hell do I do?
- Here's a good rule of thumb.
Copy !req
426. Once the cotton detaches from
the elastic, they gotta go.
Copy !req
427. - And are your balls dangling?
- They are.
Copy !req
428. Once your balls are dangling,
it's over.
Copy !req
429. So what should I do with these,
the ones that I have?
Copy !req
430. Use them for emergencies only?
Copy !req
431. A heroin addict
doesn't keep the needles.
Copy !req
432. So what do I do
about this situation?
Copy !req
433. - How about this?
- Yeah?
Copy !req
434. Suppose you write an email
to all your patients.
Copy !req
435. Hold that thought.
Copy !req
436. - Talk to me.
- Okay.
Copy !req
437. "It is vitally important to me
Copy !req
438. that my patients be able
to trust their doctor.
Copy !req
439. It has recently
come to my attention
Copy !req
440. that my underwear
is quite frayed..."
Copy !req
441. Oh, they're filming
some movie.
Copy !req
442. Sorry I can't get you closer
to your stage.
Copy !req
443. They're making me park
a little further away today.
Copy !req
444. Oh. Well, that's okay.
You sure?
Copy !req
445. Yeah, it's fine.
Copy !req
446. No, a friend of mine's
gonna take me
Copy !req
447. where I need to go later.
Copy !req
448. All righty.
Copy !req
449. Okay. Seth,
you're sailing on your ship
Copy !req
450. and you're meeting Jormungandr.
Copy !req
451. Does this hat look stupid, man?
Copy !req
452. I just feel like
this was a mistake.
Copy !req
453. So much gack.
Copy !req
454. Why did they wear
all this shit back then?
Copy !req
455. What a cumbersome fucking ti—
Okay, ready.
Copy !req
456. The helmet looks great.
Copy !req
457. I'm gonna try the accent.
Copy !req
458. I might just ADR
the whole movie in post.
Copy !req
459. Where am I looking?
Copy !req
460. The top tennis ball
is his third eye.
Copy !req
461. Fucking shit. Okay.
Can't look down, ever.
Copy !req
462. Okay.
Ready to rehearse. And action.
Copy !req
463. I am Bjorn, son of Bjorn,
and we make fish.
Copy !req
464. That is what my family does.
Copy !req
465. I am the greatest fisherman
in the whole sea.
Copy !req
466. - Hey, Lar.
- Hey.
Copy !req
467. Oh, no, no, no. It's, uh,
it's car company protocol.
Copy !req
468. I'm not— They don't want me
to carry my bags.
Copy !req
469. - Oh yeah?
- They said it's sexist.
Copy !req
470. I had a whole conversation
with them.
Copy !req
471. Sure you did.
Copy !req
472. Can't disobey the car company.
Copy !req
473. I want to car—
I carried it the last time.
Copy !req
474. Okay. Sure, Larry.
Copy !req
475. - You want help?
- No.
Copy !req
476. Need some help?
- No.
Copy !req
477. So it's coming together,
don't you think?
Copy !req
478. Okay. I know you want to
change the table out.
Copy !req
479. Yeah.
Hey, Larry.
Copy !req
480. We'll finish this up later?
Copy !req
481. - What's up?
- Um...
Copy !req
482. - Do you know, uh, Jason, right?
- Jason Steinberg, yeah.
Copy !req
483. - Yeah. So, he's a Jew for Jesus.
- Yeah, I know.
Copy !req
484. It's starting to
interfere with our performing.
Copy !req
485. We're trying to rehearse,
and we're being
converted, basically.
Copy !req
486. You know, a lot of pamphlets
and signs and stuff, you know.
Copy !req
487. He's proselytizing?
Yes.
Copy !req
488. Okay, well,
thanks for letting me know.
Copy !req
489. I'm sure he's a good guy.
- Appreciate it, Larry.
Copy !req
490. I'll take care of it.
Thank you so much.
Copy !req
491. - Hey.
- Larry, hey! You have a second?
Copy !req
492. That's great. Um, in the scene
where I swap with Larry
Copy !req
493. as the chauffeur
for the blind woman...
Copy !req
494. Yeah.
- Why would she not know it's me?
Copy !req
495. Because she's blind.
Copy !req
496. Eh... I'm just not buying it.
Copy !req
497. - Oh, you're not buying it?
- Not really, no.
Copy !req
498. You're buying the virgin birth.
Copy !req
499. What's so hard to believe
about the virgin birth?
Copy !req
500. Oh, no. It's just, people get
pregnant by God all the time.
Copy !req
501. Well, they don't.
That's what makes it so special.
Copy !req
502. They were married.
Copy !req
503. What did Mary tell Joseph
when she got pregnant?
Copy !req
504. "I have brought unto you
a miracle, the son of God.
Copy !req
505. - He grows within me."
- And then you know what Joseph did?
Copy !req
506. He went next door
and he spoke to his friend,
Copy !req
507. he said, "She's...
Copy !req
508. - Well, no, that's one of God's miracles.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
509. The parting of the sea
Copy !req
510. Look, you wanna be
a Jesus guy,
Copy !req
511. - zei gezunt, go ahead.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
512. These Jews...
Uh-huh.
Copy !req
513. on the set,
are not for Jesus.
Copy !req
514. So leave them alone.
No proselytizing here.
Copy !req
515. - That's out.
- Oh, okay.
Copy !req
516. - Got it? Okay?
- No more Jesus.
Copy !req
517. I am going to be
saying his name inside,
Copy !req
518. in my heart. That's how I get
through the day.
Copy !req
519. Say it inside
as much as you want.
Copy !req
520. I will shout it
from the inside.
Copy !req
521. Okay. Oh, shoot. Ow. Sorry.
What's the matter?
Copy !req
522. No, it's just
my sciatica's acting up.
Copy !req
523. You need a chiropractor?
I got the guy.
Copy !req
524. My back was terrible.
This guy was really helping me.
Copy !req
525. - Oh, really?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
526. I don't know, maybe today?
Copy !req
527. Uh, yes.
I think he can fit you in today.
Copy !req
528. - I'll get you the number.
- Okay. Thank you so much.
Copy !req
529. Yeah, I think I was doing, like,
a Norwegian accent up till now,
Copy !req
530. but I'm thinking of
kinda pivoting
Copy !req
531. Hey, Larry.
Copy !req
532. You got a toddler carrying
your shit around still?
Copy !req
533. Yeah, that was, uh, slightly embarrassing.
Yeah.
Copy !req
534. - It's a bad look.
- I know that.
Copy !req
535. And that's why I'm here.
Okay.
Copy !req
536. Uh, to tell you that
I'm aware of that.
Copy !req
537. - Great. As long as you're aware of it.
- I'm aware.
Copy !req
538. I get it, man.
It's tough out there.
Copy !req
539. You wanna look relatable,
you know?
Copy !req
540. That's a big part of my thing,
trust me. I'm an everyman.
Copy !req
541. An everyman?
Yeah.
Copy !req
542. People like an everyman,
just so you know.
Copy !req
543. Exactly,
that's how I come across.
Copy !req
544. - Okay, you wanna be stupid.
- I don't wanna be stupid.
Copy !req
545. I want people
to think I'm stupid.
Copy !req
546. so people will like you?
Copy !req
547. - so no one likes you?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
548. Honestly, just, here's all
I have to say about it.
Copy !req
549. I'm working with you.
I'm associated with you
from now on.
Copy !req
550. People are saying
our names in the same sentences.
Copy !req
551. - Yes.
- Try not to do things that
Copy !req
552. make you very much seem
like an asshole
Copy !req
553. to anyone who's looking at you.
Copy !req
554. - I completely get it.
- Okay.
Copy !req
555. - Just in my own defense...
- Yeah.
Copy !req
556. There are certain things that
I would prefer a man doing
Copy !req
557. - over a woman.
- No. Don't say that to anyone.
Copy !req
558. Keep that shit
to your fucking self, man.
Copy !req
559. a woman over a man.
Copy !req
560. - Like a massage?
- Don't say that shit.
Copy !req
561. I don't want a man touching me.
Copy !req
562. Larry, just stop
naming professions
Copy !req
563. and which sexes should do them
and which ones shouldn't.
Copy !req
564. - Okay. Okay.
- Don't do that.
Copy !req
565. But we all have
our secret preferences
Copy !req
566. - Well, they should be secret.
- Let me ask you a question.
Copy !req
567. What?
- Eye doctor?
Copy !req
568. - I don't like it if...
- I'm looking at your eyes right now!
Copy !req
569. No, but you're not hovering on.
You're not an inch away from me.
Copy !req
570. - It's an eye doctor!
- I don't like it.
Copy !req
571. Urologist? Proctologist?
Copy !req
572. - Man.
- See? That makes no sense!
Copy !req
573. You don't want a man
face to face,
Copy !req
574. You're gonna feel comfortable
with a strange woman
Copy !req
575. sticking her finger up your ass?
Copy !req
576. What kind of woman
becomes a urologist anyway?
Copy !req
577. A very bright,
enterprising woman
Copy !req
578. who wants to make dicks
and butts better.
Copy !req
579. Okay. You know, I might
try that out.
I'm gonna try that later.
Copy !req
580. - Give it a try!
- I'm gonna let you know about that.
Copy !req
581. I would text it, okay?
Copy !req
582. Keep it to yourself.
Copy !req
583. You've said 30 insane things
to me in the last few minutes.
Copy !req
584. - I'm not an everyman.
- No, you're not an everyman.
Copy !req
585. - I'm not an everyman.
- You are a singular man.
Copy !req
586. All right. So excited
you're doing the show.
Copy !req
587. I look forward to Little Larry.
Copy !req
588. Like, you know,
what are you supposed to do?
Copy !req
589. Just stop, Larry.
Walk away. Stop.
Copy !req
590. Thank you so much.
Copy !req
591. My pleasure.
You need help with your bags?
Copy !req
592. Absolutely not. Thank you.
Copy !req
593. Come on in.
Copy !req
594. I really appreciate it.
Copy !req
595. - Thank you.
- Are you kidding me?
Copy !req
596. - Yeah, man. This is fun.
- All right.
Copy !req
597. - This is gonna be great.
- Yeah. Boy.
Copy !req
598. Hey, did you get
that crazy email
Copy !req
599. from that chiropractor,
Jacobsen?
Copy !req
600. - Yeah. I wrote it.
- You wrote his email?
Copy !req
601. I wrote the email.
Copy !req
602. Yeah. Exactly.
Copy !req
603. Was that bizarre?
Copy !req
604. So, are you gonna go back?
Copy !req
605. I'm not going—
No, I wouldn't go back.
Copy !req
606. It was like ancient underwear.
It was like rustic.
Copy !req
607. It was like underwear that was
from the Pilgrims or something.
Copy !req
608. You know, that's the sign
of a lot of washing.
Copy !req
609. That's a good sign.
Copy !req
610. It's the person that would
put everyone in that position.
Copy !req
611. Yeah. You know what?
I'm thirsty.
Copy !req
612. If we stop talking
about the underwear, yeah.
Copy !req
613. You got one Perrier left.
Can I have it?
Copy !req
614. Well, no. Not if there's one.
Copy !req
615. You're not gonna
give me the last one?
Copy !req
616. You got others. You got—
Want the orange juice?
Copy !req
617. - No, I don't want that.
- Grab something else.
Copy !req
618. I got the keto, I got the other.
Copy !req
619. - if there's only one?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
620. Anyway, I feel terrible about
the car situation.
Copy !req
621. Let me do something
to help you with the car.
Copy !req
622. I got a guy in Tarzana who
will drive you a car out here.
Copy !req
623. - Yeah. No, that's okay.
- I'll go—
Copy !req
624. I'll pick up the car
from the tow place tomorrow.
Copy !req
625. - Yeah? You're sure?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
626. - What would make you happy?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
627. What can I do to help you?
Copy !req
628. The tap water is great.
I got double— two filters.
Copy !req
629. - I filter the filter.
- Is it cold?
Copy !req
630. I got ice.
You put the ice in it.
It's freezing.
Copy !req
631. - Nah. Ice smells.
- I have filtered ice.
Copy !req
632. - It's cold, when it's in—
- It's smelly. I don't like it.
Copy !req
633. What do you think
of filtered water?
Copy !req
634. Oh! You're killing me.
Copy !req
635. You should've given me
the Perrier.
Copy !req
636. You know you can't ask
for the Perrier.
Copy !req
637. - Yeah.
- The car.
Copy !req
638. - If you wanna do something nice...
- Yes.
Copy !req
639. - Go back and see Dr. Jacobsen.
- Never gonna happen.
Copy !req
640. I can't get that underwear
out of my head.
Copy !req
641. I'm not going to see the doctor.
Copy !req
642. - What are you—
- I don't wanna stay here.
Copy !req
643. than stay here.
Copy !req
644. I don't think so.
Copy !req
645. Yeah, and you know what?
Copy !req
646. Remind you?
Who'd ever sign up
Copy !req
647. for a reminding gig with you.
Copy !req
648. It's like a predatory contract.
Copy !req
649. I wouldn't remind you
of something
Copy !req
650. if we had a lawyer paper it.
Copy !req
651. Why would you let me get an app?
Copy !req
652. You're better than that.
Copy !req
653. Call the goddamn car service.
Copy !req
654. - Hello.
- Oh, hello.
Copy !req
655. Hey, wait. Wait a second.
What are you doing?
Copy !req
656. Hey, don't— don't—
don't take those.
Copy !req
657. I got those bags. Stop it.
Copy !req
658. Hey, come on. Stop it. Hold it.
Here, here, give me those.
Copy !req
659. - Gimme those, stop it.
- Let me. Get your hands off it!
Copy !req
660. What are you doing?
Copy !req
661. Give me the bag, sir.
Copy !req
662. Look, Mommy. Mommy! That man
is beating up that woman.
Copy !req
663. No, she—
she won't let me carry—
Copy !req
664. They're my bags!
Copy !req
665. Oh, my God.
Honey, don't look.
Copy !req
666. Remind me never to
drive you again.
Copy !req
667. Oh, don't worry.
I own that remindership.
Copy !req
668. You will never ever have to
think about that
Copy !req
669. for the rest of your life.
That's on me.
Copy !req
670. It's a little hard
to describe, but the way
I like to think of it is,
Copy !req
671. I was in this beautiful room.
Copy !req
672. - There was Judaism.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
673. And then Christ shows up,
and it's not windowless.
Copy !req
674. It's just that the windows
are closed.
Copy !req
675. "Oh, wait! Jesus was Jewish.
Oh, wait.
Copy !req
676. Everyone that wrote
the Old Testament,
Copy !req
677. everyone that wrote
the New Testament,
Copy !req
678. they were all Jews."
Copy !req
679. I actually got a pamphlet
if you're interested.
Copy !req
680. Yeah, okay.
Copy !req
681. Hey, Larry.
Can I borrow your charger?
Copy !req
682. Well, where's your charger?
Copy !req
683. I been trying to find it
since I was at 17 percent.
Copy !req
684. I'm at nine percent.
I'm charging. I'm working.
Copy !req
685. Tell you what,
give me some juice
until I get to seven,
Copy !req
686. and then we'll go back
and forth, back and forth.
Copy !req
687. sharing one tank of oxygen.
That's suicide.
Copy !req
688. - We'll both die.
- Why is it suicide?
Copy !req
689. - I'm at three percent.
- It's Sophie's choice.
Copy !req
690. And you're the baby who's going.
Copy !req
691. Where the fuck is my shit at?
Copy !req
692. Larry, fucking look over there.
Copy !req
693. My fucking charger
is right there.
Copy !req
694. And the fucking wire
is going from there
Copy !req
695. up through the fucking window.
Copy !req
696. - The roofer took your charger?
- You fat motherfucker!
Copy !req
697. Let it go, motherfucker.
Let it go.
Copy !req
698. - Come here, come here.
- Let it go, you fat bitch.
Copy !req
699. Take the rest of the day off.
Copy !req
700. Fucking back.
Copy !req
701. What are you guys looking at?
Copy !req
702. Oh my God! Holy fuck!
That's not a good look.
Copy !req
703. I'm not working with that guy.
Copy !req
704. Ah, Larry! Who's this guy?
Who's this guy I'm working on?
Copy !req
705. Look at you. You're good as new.
Copy !req
706. Hey, you notice
anything different out there?
Copy !req
707. Oh, you mean something
called patients?
Copy !req
708. - Patients!
- Yes.
Copy !req
709. Patients.
I got patients back here.
Copy !req
710. - It's remarkable.
- Larry, they were so grateful
Copy !req
711. that I upgraded the underwear.
Copy !req
712. You did such a great job
on my back.
Copy !req
713. "'I will restore you to health
and heal your wounds,'
Copy !req
714. declares the Lord."
Jeremiah 30:17.
Copy !req
715. What?
Copy !req
716. Jesus Christ. I have pamphlets.
Copy !req
717. Oh, fuck.
Copy !req