1. Today, Britain stands
at a fork in its crossroads.
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2. And its people are asking questions.
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3. Now we've got our country back,
what actually is it?
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4. Who are we? And why?
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5. The best way to find out where
Britain's heading
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6. is to look behind us into something
called "history" -
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7. a sort of rear view mirror
for time.
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8. So that's where I'm going.
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9. Back there.
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10. It's a journey that'll take me
the length and width of the country.
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11. On my odyssey, I'll be starting
sentences in one location...
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12. .. and finishing them in another.
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13. And looking at some of the biggest
faces in British history,
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14. and asking other people's
faces about them.
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15. If Shelley's one of the greatest
poets in English literature,
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16. how come nobody gives
a shit about him today?
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17. That's a complicated question.
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18. But it's not just a story of things,
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19. it's also a story of people sitting
or standing on things.
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20. All of it taking place in this
skepterred isle we call home.
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21. So join me, Philomena Cunk,
as I take you right up
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22. the history of The United Britain
of Great Kingdom.
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23. This... is Cunk on Britain.
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24. Last time, we saw how the British
leaped out of Britain itself
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25. and sailed the world in boats.
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26. This week we're examining
the 19th century.
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27. This was a time of invention,
industry, discovery,
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28. empire building, urban squalor,
sexual hypocrisy, optimism,
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29. statues, painting, photograph,
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30. him, her, them and tree.
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31. It was a time when British
creativity was at its peak,
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32. bringing us everything
from great works of art
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33. to great works of train.
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34. A time when Britain very much
entered
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35. the third episode of its history.
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36. It's the early 19th century
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37. and Britain is in the grip
of the Georgian Era,
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38. a time when all English Kings
had to be called George.
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39. There was George Three, George Two,
George Four and George One,
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40. though not necessarily
in that order.
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41. The Georgian Era saw the birth
of a new artistic movement -
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42. The Romantics.
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43. They weren't like the old romantics,
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44. which is like when your dad buys
your mum a box of Black Magic
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45. from the service station when it
isn't even her birthday,
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46. and they weren't like the
New Romantics,
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47. which were all synthesisers
and wind machines.
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48. Instead, they were poets
and artists
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49. whose names are still familiar
today.
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50. Wordsworth.
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51. Shelley.
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52. Blake.
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53. And the other ones.
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54. To find out more,
I went to speak to an expert.
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55. Who was Ron?
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56. Among the Romantics, you mean?
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57. Yeah.
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58. Um... William Godwin was
quite wrong.
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59. He believed that there should be no
laws at all in society.
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60. No, who's Ron?
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61. Ron? Uh, is there a Ron?
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62. Yeah, the one that wrote all
the poems and signed them "By Ron".
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63. Yeah, that...
That was his family name - Byron.
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64. Lord George Byron.
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65. Oh. right! OK.
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66. Yeah.
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67. Who was the man from Nantucket
that By Ron wrote about in his poem?
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68. I don't remember that poem.
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69. It's the one that goes "There was
a young man from Nantucket".
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70. Is that Byron?
I think so.
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71. It was really good.
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72. So how did it end?
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73. Byron was like a rock star.
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74. He was sexy, like Mick Jagger,
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75. brooding, like Kurt Cobain
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76. and he had brown hair,
like Harry Styles.
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77. Little wonder he's still considered
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78. the number one dead romantic
in history.
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79. Which was your favourite
of the Romantics?
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80. Probably, um, Byron, I would think.
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81. Byron was the bad-boy
of the Romantic poets.
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82. It's thought that he probably
slept with his sister
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83. and with most other women
in England.
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84. He was your favourite?
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85. Yeah.
The one who slept with his sister?
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86. Well, it's not... I mean, I...
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87. It's not on that basis
that I like him.
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88. I was just giving you
a bit of background on him.
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89. Would that have shocked people
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90. or was everyone sleeping
with their sister back then?
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91. I think it was...
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92. He spent much of his life in exile
and...
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93. Where's exile?
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94. Well, in his case it was
in Italy, mainly.
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95. And he wrote Don Juan, which was one
of the greatest pieces
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96. of particularly rhyming poetry
in English literature.
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97. It must've been a good book
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98. if you can overlook the fact
he slept with his sister.
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99. But not all women of the age
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100. were Byron's sister who he was
sleeping with.
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101. Some of them were other women,
like this one.
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102. What exactly was Jane Austen?
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103. Jane Austen was a woman
from Hampshire who wrote novels.
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104. Is that it?
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105. Yes, that's it.
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106. Absolutely.
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107. Austen wrote novels,
which are books,
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108. which look like this on the outside,
and this on the inside,
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109. filled with words it's almost
impossible to care about.
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110. When are they going to translate
Jane Austen's books
into proper English?
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111. You know, from like ancient English.
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112. Because they're sort of hard
to concentrate on, aren't they,
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113. now that we've got, like,
phones and stuff.
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114. Well, she's not that hard, really.
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115. Those sentences have sometimes got
some nice balancing clauses
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116. with a lot of humour in them.
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117. Why do they keep making
Jane Austen's books
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118. into films and TV shows?
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119. There's only about five of them,
isn't there?
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120. Whereas, like, there's 50 Mr Men
books
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121. and they haven't done
all of those yet.
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122. I think there are lots
of reasons for that.
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123. People love the love stories.
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124. They like the costumes.
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125. They're also wonderful books with
lots of opportunities for humour.
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126. Are you talking about Jane Austen
or Mr Men?
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127. Probably both.
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128. Yeah. Who's your favourite Mr Man?
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129. Mr Tickle, probably.
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130. Yeah. I love Mr Tickle.
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131. Jane Austen died in 1817
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132. only to be reincarnated 200 years
later in the form of this banknote.
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133. But important though she was,
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134. she wasn't the most significant
woman of the century.
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135. That honour belonged
to Queen Victoria.
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136. Queen Victoria is often portrayed
as old and grumpy.
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137. It's where the term
"Victoria Cross" comes from.
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138. But she wasn't always a sour,
disapproving old woman.
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139. She was once a sour,
disapproving baby.
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140. Queen Victoria was born in 1819,
in the usual way, out of a woman.
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141. It was hard to tell that this infant
would grow up to be Queen
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142. because her crown hadn't yet formed.
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143. It was just hair,
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144. which must've been a relief to her
mother as she was pushing her out.
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145. As well as looking miserable,
her other hobby was fashion.
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146. Even at an early age,
she was dressing like a cross
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147. between a disillusioned Lord Mayor
and an angry hen.
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148. In 1837, aged 18,
Victoria became Queen.
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149. Her reign was to be a period
of great industrial, cultural,
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150. scientific, and political change,
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151. but the main thing people asked her
about was why she was still single
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152. and when she was getting married.
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153. Eventually, to shut everyone up,
she fell in love with
her cousin, Albert.
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154. Prince Albert was German,
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155. but Victoria was willing to overlook
that because they were in love.
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156. And because most of her family
were German, too.
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157. Their untrammelled sexual passion is
evident in every photograph of them.
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158. What no-one saw coming was
that during Victoria's reign,
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159. Britain would be turned upside-down
by an avalanche
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160. of hurricane proportions,
called progress.
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161. This was the Industrial Revelation.
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162. And the very first winds
of that changequake
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163. detonated in the almost
pre-historic world of transport.
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164. The Victorians had
horse-drawn buses,
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165. but you never see horses drawing
anything these days, do you?
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166. When did they lose
the ability to draw?
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167. Is it when their hands
sort of turned into hooves?
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168. When we talk about horse-drawn
buses, we're not really talking
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169. about horses drawing buses,
but pulling them along.
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170. So that... That's the meaning of the
word "draw" in this instance.
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171. Oh. Right.
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172. And that stopped, really,
once we had the railways
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173. and then even more the engines.
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174. Engines ran on a mysterious
new element
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175. the Victorians had discovered
called steam.
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176. It was a big deal, wasn't it,
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177. when they got trains
to run on steam.
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178. Where did they get the steam that
powered the trains back then?
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179. Did they have to sort of mine
it from underground?
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180. Or did they get it from the sky?
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181. Well, you can actually make
steam by boiling water.
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182. So what they're doing is using
the coal to boil the water
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183. and make the steam that way.
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184. Right, so clouds are made
of boiling water?
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185. Why don't planes boil then
when we fly through them?
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186. I think you probably want to
speak to a meteorologist...
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187. Oh... .. about the clouds.
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188. OK.
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189. As well as carrying steam, trains
could move people huge distances,
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190. and they worked much harder,
and faster, than horses.
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191. And unlike horses, they've got a big
smiling face on the front,
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192. and the voice of Ringo Starr.
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193. Soon the inevitable happened
and mankind bred with trains,
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194. creating half-human, half-train
super-engineer
Isambard Kingdom Brunel,
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195. who kicked the Industrial Revolution
into overdrive.
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196. Why is Brunel considered one
of the greatest Britons of all time?
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197. Brunel built so many different
things - towns, canals, bridges.
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198. I mean he was responsible for many
of the things
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199. that happened
during the Industrial Revolution.
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200. He really took our country forward
in terms of technological progress.
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201. Where does he rank compared to,
say, Nick Knowles?
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202. He's definitely further up the list,
on my list...
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203. Nick Knowles or Brunel?
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204. Brunel.
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205. I suppose we haven't given
Nick Knowles a proper chance yet,
have we?
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206. We don't know what
he might come up with yet.
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207. This is one of Brunel's
most famous achievements -
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208. the Clifton Suspension Bridge,
Britain's first white-knuckle ride.
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209. Although disappointingly flat
compared to today's rollercoasters,
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210. millions still flock to Bristol
every year
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211. just to queue up and have a go
on it.
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212. As well as bridges and tunnels,
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213. the Industrial Revolution
brought factories.
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214. Factories were cavernous halls of
noise and machinery,
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215. dirty and dangerous environments
without even basic Wi-Fi
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216. and only the most rudimentary
break-out spaces.
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217. But they were changing
Britain forever.
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218. These days, no-one works in these
factories except ghosts,
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219. and even then,
they only work night shifts.
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220. Workers did long, thankless hours,
with no breaks and low pay
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221. in a squalid
and threatening environment.
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222. Conditions unthinkable today to
anyone who isn't a junior doctor.
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223. The Industrial Revolution was
so frenetic,
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224. a man called Charles Babbage
got carried away
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225. and invented the computer
far too early.
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226. Modern computers are tiny, but this
was as big as a Transit van.
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227. It was even bigger than the 1990s
one your dad's got in the loft
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228. and won't throw away in case the bin
men find all his bank details
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229. and mucky jpegs.
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230. Hello. Who are you?
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231. I'm Doron Swade.
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232. I'm a historian of computing
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233. and I was responsible for building
this engine.
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234. So what games does it have?
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235. It doesn't have any games.
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236. It must have, like, some basic
games,
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237. like Mario Kart or Snake or...
I'm afraid not.
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238. .. or Patience,
like the shittest one.
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239. It must have Patience.
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240. I'm afraid it doesn't.
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241. It doesn't have any games?
None whatever.
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242. It just does
mathematical calculation.
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243. So where's the screen
on this computer?
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244. The screen, again,
is part of the electronic era.
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245. This has no screens.
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246. As it happens, you don't need
to read the numbers
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247. because it prints them
automatically for you.
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248. It's a shame, isn't it, that it
doesn't have a screen
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249. because then you could turn it
upside-down
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250. and the numbers would become
rude words.
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251. You know, like with a calculator?
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252. Yes.
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253. Have you ever done that?
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254. I haven't but I know what you mean.
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255. You've done this
but you haven't done that? Correct.
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256. Babbage never foresaw the terrible
consequences of his invention -
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257. a machine that would autocorrect his
name to "cabbage" every single time.
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258. The Victorian age was an era of huge
and inventive leaps.
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259. But one man was about to take
too large a step for many,
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260. Charles Darwin.
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261. Darwin was born the son of a doctor,
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262. but using his own theories,
soon evolved into a scientist.
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263. He was faskinated by nature,
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264. and decided to find out more about
it by going to sea on a beagle.
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265. Darwin, uh, sailed off on his
science mission on a beagle,
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266. didn't he?
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267. He did, yeah, he went off for five
years on The Beagle.
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268. Yeah. A small ship which...
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269. It was a ship? circumnavigated,
yeah, circumnavigated the world...
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270. Not a dog?
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271. No. So it wasn't a ship that evolved
into a dog?
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272. Certainly not, no.
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273. On his journey, he visited
the Noel Gallagher's Islands
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274. and came up with a theory -
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275. that animals that were dead were
less likely to reproduce
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276. than ones that were alive.
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277. Talk me through the events
that led up to the moment
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278. where Charles Darwin
invented the monkey.
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279. Darwin didn't... invent the monkey.
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280. No-one invented a monkey.
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281. OK, well, talk me through the events
which led up the moment
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282. where Charles Darwin
didn't invent the monkey.
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283. Charles Darwin saw monkeys as
potential progenitors of humans,
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284. ie, we could have evolved from them.
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285. When they put monkeys in zoos,
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286. how long does it take for them
to turn human?
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287. Well, it's not really to do
with the zoo.
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288. Alright,
so say we kept one in the wild,
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289. how long would it take for that
monkey to grow,
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290. like, a nose or ears?
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291. Well, they have noses and ears
that are perfectly functional.
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292. Like a man's nose.
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293. Those apes and monkeys
don't need a human nose.
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294. It wouldn't do them any good.
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295. What's the fastest
evolution could happen?
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296. Like, how fast could you turn
a pig into a cow?
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297. A pig into a cow?
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298. You're never going to be able
to turn a pig into a cow.
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299. Why would you want to turn
a pig into a cow?
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300. Pigs are quite good at being pigs
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301. and cows are relatively
good at being cows.
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302. Why do you want to turn
a pig into a cow?
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303. Just to see what it's like.
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304. In 1859, he wrote a book
about his theory
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305. called The Oranges Of The Peaches,
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306. which described how oranges
have evolved from peaches.
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307. Controversially, the book claimed
that man was descended from monkeys,
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308. a twist most of the readers
were unprepared for.
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309. The idea that man and ape were close
relatives was considered
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310. both hilarious and shocking -
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311. a bit like Graham Norton,
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312. but with more profound consequences
for all humankind.
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313. Eventually Darwin evolved himself
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314. into a corpse.
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315. He was buried here, in Westminster
Abbey, before evolving again,
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316. into worms and dust.
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317. Meanwhile, Britain itself was
evolving into an empire.
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318. The British Empire was
the biggest the world had ever seen.
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319. It had started back in the days
of Drake and Raleigh,
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320. then expanded when Captain Cook
discovered Australia
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321. when he took the first-ever gap year
working on a beach near Sydney.
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322. With its year-round sunshine
and abundant food,
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323. Australia was deemed the perfect
place to send Britain's murderers.
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324. It was hoped they'd suffer terrible
homesickness
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325. as they lay soaking up the sun.
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326. But there was a dark side
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327. to Britain's ever-increasing
globalisation - slavery.
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328. These days, people pay thousands of
pounds to visit
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329. the sun-kissed islands
of the Caribbean.
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330. But in the 1700s, you could go
there for free,
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331. if you were black
and didn't want to go there.
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332. It was immediately obvious to anyone
that slavery was wrong,
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333. which is why it was only allowed
to continue for hundreds of years.
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334. There were many countries
in the British Empire.
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335. By Victoria's day, the empire bits
were coloured pink on the map,
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336. to remind white Britons what colour
they'd turn if they went there
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337. and stood in the sun too long.
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338. And no bit of the map was pinker
than the Jewel in the Crown - India.
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339. For years, a British business,
the East India Company,
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340. had ruled over India -
and the locals weren't happy.
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341. A corporation running a country is
the sort of thing that
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342. usually happens in a scary science
fiction film, but this was real,
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343. and ages ago, and had all
tea leaves in it instead of lasers.
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344. After a people's rebellion,
the company was replaced
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345. in 1858 by the British monarchy
and the British Raj was born.
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346. Queen Victoria was made
Empress of India in 1877,
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347. a title she was so thrilled by,
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348. she immediately set about never
visiting the Indian continent
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349. at any point in her life.
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350. For some reason, the debate still
rages as to how good
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351. the British Empire actually was.
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352. Was the British Empire
evil like it was in Star Wars?
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353. I think the important point here is
that yes, many people would
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354. have seen the British Empire
as being an evil empire,
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355. whilst at the same
time many people -
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356. unsurprisingly,
most of them British -
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357. would have seen it as something that
was a beacon of light,
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358. so I think that here lies one of the
key debates
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359. in British imperial history -
was it good or was it bad?
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360. Who was the Darth Vader of the
Empire?
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361. Was it Queen Victoria?
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362. You probably wouldn't have
had anyone
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363. quite as powerful as Darth Vader
as, if you like, a supreme leader.
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364. Erm... What about Luke Skywalker?
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365. I think many people would have
liked to have undertaken
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366. a Skywalker-like role as a saviour,
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367. but there probably weren't too many
of those around.
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368. Chewbacca?
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369. No, I think that's stretching it.
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370. Meanwhile, back home, with machines
doing all the hard work, people had
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371. more free time on their hands than
ever and they needed entertaining.
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372. What sort of music was
popular in Victorian times?
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373. What were the genres?
R&B, soul, rock?
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374. One was, erm, the music hall.
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375. Is music hall the first sort
of music named after a building?
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376. And do you think that was a
big influence on acid house?
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377. Despite the name, music hall wasn't
just music in a hall.
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378. As well as singers, there were
comedians, dancers and variety turns
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379. like on Britain's Got Talent,
but with a few differences.
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380. Back then, audiences enjoyed
the acts for themselves,
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381. rather than asking David Walliams or
Amanda Holden to do it for them.
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382. And because the only way to change
channel in Victorian Times
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383. was to walk up the road to
a different music hall,
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384. the acts could be a lot shitter.
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385. So could you play some
music hall for me now?
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386. Erm, right, well, there were
lots of popular songs
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387. and they liked certain
sorts of rhythms and vamps.
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388. So this was a very popular one,
which goes like this...
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389. That sort of rhythm...
Hmm. .. was very popular.
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390. So why was that considered
entertaining?
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391. But while commoners enjoyed this
Victorian equivalent of ITV,
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392. posh folk were getting into a
primitive, paper-based form
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393. of television called books, which
streamed content from the page
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394. into your mind's eye.
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395. Books were being
produced in huge numbers.
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396. Perhaps that's why the Victorian era
produced more Victorian writers
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397. than any other period in history.
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398. This is one of them -
Sir Arthur Coning Roddy Doyle,
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399. perhaps the greatest writer of
detective fiction
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400. he could possibly be - the inventor
of Sherlock Holmes.
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401. The first Sherlock Holmes story was
such a hit,
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402. Coning Doyle wrote 55 sequels,
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403. which is four more than
The Fast And The Furious.
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404. Although, in the Sherlock Holmes
stories,
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405. some stuff happens that isn't
skidding.
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406. Since his Victorian origins,
Sherlock Holmes himself has
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407. regenerated many times and in many
different forms throughout history,
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408. from drawings,
to black-and-white man,
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409. to a black-and-white-man in colour,
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410. into a cricketer and even an alien.
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411. But perhaps the best-known Victorian
to put quill to paper
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412. is one of the greatest writists
Britain has ever shat out -
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413. Sir Charles Dickings.
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414. Dickings lived here, in a house,
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415. but he left when the council turned
it into a museum, gift shop
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416. and education centre in his memory.
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417. He became a writer,
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418. and began to create some of the most
time-consuming stories in history.
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419. The names of Dickings' most famous
works are still familiar today.
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420. Nicholas Nickelback.
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421. Great Defecations.
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422. David's Copper Field.
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423. The Picnic Papers.
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424. And his masterpiece...
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425. .. Oliver's Twist.
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426. Despite the spoiler in its title,
Oliver's Twist doesn't have a twist
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427. at the end, which, come to think of
it, is a brilliant twist in itself.
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428. That's how clever Dickings was.
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429. Like many of Dickings' works,
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430. Oliver's Twist exposed the grim
underbelly of Victorian London.
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431. As you can see from this blistering
adaptation,
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432. it's an uncompromising,
searing vision of extreme poverty
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433. and synchronised dancing.
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434. Despite his genius,
Dickings' immortality couldn't last,
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435. and in 1870, he died - forever.
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436. We don't know what his last words
were, or whether he managed
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437. to blurt out "the end" just before
closing his mouth for the last time.
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438. But while Dickings was celebrated,
another Victorian wordsmith
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439. found himself on the
wrong side of the law.
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440. Oscar Wilde was a brilliant writer
and wit,
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441. which is the Victorian word for
"top bantz merchant".
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442. He was persecuted for being gay,
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443. and ended up in Reed-ing Gaol.
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444. Luckily, being a literary man,
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445. he loved reading, and was
so happy he wrote a song about it.
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446. Sadly, it didn't do very well,
because there's no tune to speak of
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447. and, as you can see, he's misspelt
"jail" on the front.
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448. The Victorians treated
Wilde like a sexual deviant
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449. because they were extremely prudish.
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450. In polite society,
clothing was prim and proper.
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451. Even glimpsing an ankle was
considered racy.
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452. So chances are anyone seeing a bum
would've had a stroke.
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453. In fact, the famed Victorian
morality was nothing more than
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454. a hypocritical front -
for one thing,
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455. as these photographs prove,
people still had buttocks and muffs.
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456. Some people even had intercourse.
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457. Victorian London in particular
was a hotbed of vice,
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458. with many a so-called
"respectable gentleman"
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459. paying women for sex
up the East End.
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460. If you were a prostitute in London
in 1888, there were two words
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461. guaranteed to put the fear of god
into you - "Jack"...
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462. .. and "the Ripper".
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463. Jack the Ripper was one of the most
antisocial murderers
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464. Britain has ever seen.
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465. Much of the fear of The Ripper was
stirred up by the press.
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466. And by the way
he kept killing people.
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467. The murders brought shame on
19th-century London,
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468. which is why, unlike other prominent
Victorians of the age,
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469. Jack the Ripper has never
appeared on a banknote.
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470. Despite this, he's just as popular
today as he wasn't back then.
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471. You can still go on Ripper
tours around Whitechapel -
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472. a fun way of commemorating
a serial killer,
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473. although committing murders on the
tour itself is lightly discouraged.
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474. Because the culprit himself was
never caught,
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475. there's a lot we still don't
know about Jack the Ripper.
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476. We don't know who he was
or why he did it.
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477. We don't even know if Jack
the Ripper was his real name,
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478. or just a nickname, like 50 Cent.
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479. We don't know when he died,
or if he died.
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480. It's chilling to think Jack the
Ripper could still be alive today,
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481. living somewhere out there,
under his real name.
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482. Maybe he's one of your friends
or neighbours.
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483. Or maybe... he's you.
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484. You'd have no way of knowing.
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485. And that's terrifying.
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486. But it wasn't just prostitutes who
died in Victorian Britain.
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487. So did Victoria's beloved husband
Albert, who succumbed to typhoid
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488. and stomach and bum trouble
in 1861, a mere 125 years
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489. before the first transmission of the
BBC comedy series Brush Strokes.
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490. Victoria was so heartbroken by
Albert's death,
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491. she spent the rest of her life
wearing black and pulling a face
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492. like Alfred Hitchcock watching a dog
drown.
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493. The grieving queen commissioned
monuments to Albert's memory,
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494. such as the Prince Albert Memorial
and the Royal Albert Hall,
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495. which functioned as both
a concert hall
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496. and a receptacle for Adolf Hitler's
missing bollock.
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497. And then Victoria did what any
widow would,
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498. and went off to the Isle of Wight
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499. to look out of the window
until she died.
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500. Fittingly for a monarch whose reign
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501. had seen many technomalogical
advancements,
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502. moving pictures had
just been invented -
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503. just in time to
capture her funeral -
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504. but, sadly, not in time for her to
enjoy the footage of her funeral.
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505. The entire country came to
a standstill for the procession.
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506. It was as though the British public
weren't just burying a queen,
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507. but an entire era, which they'd
somehow managed to
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508. fit in the box along with her body.
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509. The death of Queen Victoria reduced
the number of women with
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510. a voice in British politics by 100%.
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511. Because in 1901, women did
not have the vote, even though,
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512. at the time, half
the men in Britain were women.
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513. Women were thought of as simple
creatures who could give birth
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514. and raise families,
but couldn't be trusted with
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515. something as complicated as drawing
an X with a pencil.
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516. Today it's unthinkable that
a woman wouldn't be able to vote,
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517. unless she was really hungover or
in her slippers and it was raining,
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518. but back then it was the law.
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519. One woman decided that had
to change.
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520. Emmerdale Pankhurst thought
women could be more than just wives
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521. and mothers, so she deliberately
only had five children,
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522. leaving her loads of time for
politics.
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523. She founded the
suffragette movement.
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524. These women were tough
and prepared to fight.
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525. Like Wonder Woman, but with sleeves.
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526. The suffragettes
protested in creative ways.
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527. Some chained themselves to
important buildings,
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528. rather than the kitchen sink.
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529. Others went on hunger strike,
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530. kick-starting the food detox craze
that continues to this day.
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531. One suffragette, Emily Davison,
threw herself under a horse
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532. to get the vote.
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533. But the vote wasn't under a horse.
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534. It was in a little wooden
booth in a primary school.
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535. But, to be fair,
women wouldn't have known that.
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536. The suffragettes wanted the vote
so badly,
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537. they were prepared to die for it.
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538. Nobody knows why.
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539. Maybe they imagined it was
better in here than it actually is.
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540. Maybe they thought there'd be games
or sandwiches in here.
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541. If they'd known it was just
a pencil on a shoelace,
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542. they might not have bothered.
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543. Eventually, women did get the vote
after the next bit of history,
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544. but I can't skip past the next bit,
because the next bit is war,
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545. and men will find that interesting.
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546. Next time, we move into the early
20th century,
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547. a period when TV was invented,
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548. making life actually worth living
for the first time.
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549. And also, a time when Britain fought
two World Wars, but no World Cups.
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550. Why were all the British soldiers
in World War I called Tommy?
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551. Was that just a coincidence?
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