1. We're all from West Covina!
Copy !req
2. This is my favorite TV show.
Copy !req
3. I love you, Rachel Bloom.
Copy !req
4. Ra-ta-ta!
Copy !req
5. Hello, Los Angeles.
Copy !req
6. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
7. You guys kind of made me tear up.
Copy !req
8. We love you, Rachel!
Copy !req
9. Oh, my gosh.
Copy !req
10. Welcome!
Copy !req
11. Welcome!
Copy !req
12. Um, so, tonight, we are so excited
Copy !req
13. to present to you just some
of the 157 songs that we...
Copy !req
14. I know, I know...
Copy !req
15. Uh, from the Crazy
Ex-Girlfriend songbook.
Copy !req
16. "Songbook" was their cue,
so that was very important.
Copy !req
17. Yes. Yes.
Copy !req
18. Now, uh, because this
whole concert has to air
Copy !req
19. in 42 minutes on The CW, we
have to be very expeditious,
Copy !req
20. so I am going to both introduce the show
Copy !req
21. and change into my next outfit.
Copy !req
22. This is my dresser, Tommy Marquez.
Copy !req
23. Um...
Copy !req
24. See? I'm helping.
Copy !req
25. Um, Tommy has seen me naked many times.
Copy !req
26. Many times. Um, if Tommy had a nickel
Copy !req
27. for every time he'd seen my nipples,
Copy !req
28. he would have an answer that I can't say
Copy !req
29. because it was redacted
by Standards and Practices
Copy !req
30. for being too dirty of a joke.
Copy !req
31. I like how I'm behind a changing screen,
Copy !req
32. but the balcony can see everything.
Copy !req
33. So, now, I'd like to introduce
Copy !req
34. my two Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songwriters.
Copy !req
35. On bass, say hello to Jack Dolgen.
Copy !req
36. And on the piano,
Copy !req
37. Mr. Adam Schlesinger.
Copy !req
38. And now...
Copy !req
39. I am changed.
Copy !req
40. Coming up is a song that
manages to be both feminist
Copy !req
41. and anti-feminist at the same time.
Copy !req
42. Here's your jacket, bitch.
Copy !req
43. Ooh, it's, like, "I have a beard." Ugh!
Copy !req
44. Hey. What about gay men?
Copy !req
45. Oh, no, they're fine.
Copy !req
46. I have sons.
Copy !req
47. All right, uh, we'll be right back
Copy !req
48. after I clean up all the glitter.
Copy !req
49. Oh...
Copy !req
50. Anyone want to, um...
Copy !req
51. you guys want to...
Copy !req
52. Okay, dare to defy.
Copy !req
53. We'll be back.
Copy !req
54. You know, during that
last commercial break,
Copy !req
55. while you were all...
going to the bathroom
Copy !req
56. or getting drinks or...
probably fornicating...
Copy !req
57. um, I was actually backstage,
Copy !req
58. uh, donating money to
some very worthy causes.
Copy !req
59. - Wow, Rachel.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
60. - That's amazing.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
61. What, um...
Copy !req
62. what specific charity did you donate to?
Copy !req
63. What were the names
Copy !req
64. of the specific charities?
Copy !req
65. Children.
Copy !req
66. What's the, uh...
Copy !req
67. what's the tax ID number of Children?
Copy !req
68. Let's just do the stupid song, okay?
Copy !req
69. The best. #HumbleAndBlessed.
Copy !req
70. Mom and Dad... Mom and
Dad, say I'm a good person,
Copy !req
71. or I will put you in a
terrible nursing home.
Copy !req
72. I'm a good person.
Copy !req
73. No.
Copy !req
74. Okay, just in case we
need it for broadcast,
Copy !req
75. I need you both to say,
"You're a good person,"
Copy !req
76. just in case it's not clear.
Copy !req
77. Say I'm a good person,
Copy !req
78. or I'll put you in a nursing home.
Copy !req
79. And it'll be a bad nursing home, too.
Copy !req
80. Say it. Say I'm a good person.
Copy !req
81. - You're a good person.
- I'm a good person.
Copy !req
82. Did you still say "I'm a good person"?
Copy !req
83. Dad!
Copy !req
84. Dad!
Copy !req
85. Dad!
Copy !req
86. Say it. You're...
Copy !req
87. No!
Copy !req
88. Dad!
Copy !req
89. Dad, just, Mom'll cue you.
Copy !req
90. Okay.
Copy !req
91. Say it. Say it.
Copy !req
92. You're a good person!
Copy !req
93. Oh, my God, thank you... !
Copy !req
94. And now, ladies and gentlemen,
Copy !req
95. it is my good-person
privilege to introduce...
Copy !req
96. Donna Lynne Champlin and the
Almost-All-Female Orchestra.
Copy !req
97. Thank you.
Copy !req
98. I got the pretty dress, y'all.
Copy !req
99. But this time, maybe...
Copy !req
100. just maybe...
Copy !req
101. Ah.
Copy !req
102. How you guys doin'?
Copy !req
103. Yeah! I love ya!
Copy !req
104. Oh, I have loved playing
Darryl Whitefeather
Copy !req
105. for the last four years.
Copy !req
106. But alas, it's time
to hang up the spurs.
Copy !req
107. Aw...
Copy !req
108. But not just yet!
Copy !req
109. So how about we show
a little bi pride, huh?
Copy !req
110. Because this is all about feelin' proud
Copy !req
111. and livin' out loud!
Copy !req
112. Yeah!
Copy !req
113. Whoo!
Copy !req
114. Love you!
Copy !req
115. Okay, we'll be right back
Copy !req
116. soon as we clean up the confetti again.
Copy !req
117. If anyone wants to
actually help me this time,
Copy !req
118. that'd be great.
Copy !req
119. - Yeah, we'll help you.
- Thank you so much. Thank you so...
Copy !req
120. - There you go.
- Okay.
Copy !req
121. Oh, my God, you need one more more.
Copy !req
122. - Okay.
- You'll be great.
Copy !req
123. Take care of yourself. Rachel.
Copy !req
124. Good luck. You're a star.
Copy !req
125. Thank you so much.
Copy !req
126. Itchy Cat, can you help me sweep?
Copy !req
127. Please?
Copy !req
128. Itchy Cat?
Copy !req
129. Let's sweep together. Come on.
Copy !req
130. Yeah, just sweep it there.
Copy !req
131. Thank you so much.
Copy !req
132. You know, maybe I judged
yeast infections all wrong.
Copy !req
133. Thank you so much.
Copy !req
134. This is a metaphor for something,
Copy !req
135. but I don't know what.
Copy !req
136. Oh.
Copy !req
137. Hello. I...
Copy !req
138. I totally saw you there.
Copy !req
139. You know...
Copy !req
140. when people think of
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,
Copy !req
141. one word comes to mind.
Copy !req
142. I'm talking about...
Copy !req
143. "sex."
Copy !req
144. Ooh!
Copy !req
145. Did you all just collectively shudder
Copy !req
146. at that nasty word?
Copy !req
147. That's right, "sex."
Copy !req
148. "Doin' it."
Copy !req
149. "A special hug."
Copy !req
150. "Half past hump o'clock."
Copy !req
151. And so we here at Crazy
Sex-Girlfriend... ha!
Copy !req
152. We've prepared for you a little...
Copy !req
153. sex medley.
Copy !req
154. Uh!
Copy !req
155. Ooh, what's happening with my...
Copy !req
156. But you know what?
Copy !req
157. Screw it.
Copy !req
158. Michael, what are you doing?
Copy !req
159. It's a sex medley,
Copy !req
160. so I'm dancing with my
sexy electric toothbrushes.
Copy !req
161. What are... what are you...
Copy !req
162. what... what are you...
Copy !req
163. hey, what are you talking about?
Copy !req
164. That's what that song
I sang was about, right?
Copy !req
165. Electric toothbrushes being so, so sexy.
Copy !req
166. No.
Copy !req
167. Michael...
Copy !req
168. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
169. Michael, no, that song
was about pleasing a woman.
Copy !req
170. What's a woman?
Copy !req
171. Oh. Uh-oh. Something just happened.
Copy !req
172. Ah, this, uh...
Copy !req
173. Oh, boy. This might not
be the right time to...
Copy !req
174. do this medley.
Copy !req
175. Unless you want to have...
Copy !req
176. Get off! Get off the stage.
Copy !req
177. Come on.
Copy !req
178. Get off!
Copy !req
179. This is Scott's time now.
Copy !req
180. Okay.
Copy !req
181. Speaking of getting off...
Copy !req
182. Okay.
Copy !req
183. Hey, actually, can we not
do this big lift coming up?
Copy !req
184. Oh, my God, my back hurts so bad.
Copy !req
185. - Good. It's just, I don't
like it, either. - Okay.
Copy !req
186. Turn around. Let's see the butt. Nice.
Copy !req
187. Yup. I know. That's what you want.
Copy !req
188. Oh, that's nice.
Copy !req
189. Ow, Scott.
Copy !req
190. You know what?
Copy !req
191. It's a good thing you
have that condom, Scott,
Copy !req
192. even though it is way too big for you.
Copy !req
193. Because even though
Copy !req
194. I am on my period, I
can still get pregnant,
Copy !req
195. because... PSA and fun fact...
Copy !req
196. Sperm can live in the
uterus for up to five days.
Copy !req
197. - Did somebody say "sperm"?
- Oh, no.
Copy !req
198. That's also another song from the show.
Copy !req
199. Yeah.
Copy !req
200. Cool. We'll be right back.
Copy !req
201. Oh. Oh!
Copy !req
202. Oh, they're trying to get me pregnant.
Copy !req
203. They don't know how it works.
Copy !req
204. Okay.
Copy !req
205. Okay, I think this is
actually a money shot.
Copy !req
206. I don't...
Copy !req
207. No, get off me!
Copy !req
208. Get off!
Copy !req
209. Welcome back from commercial, everyone.
Copy !req
210. You guys, you guys,
Copy !req
211. we all know the most important
part of yoga is the instructor.
Copy !req
212. So let us take it back
Copy !req
213. to season one Valencia, bitches.
Copy !req
214. Exhale on another sigh.
Copy !req
215. Rachel Bloom sucks.
Copy !req
216. Ah. Ah.
Copy !req
217. You know, um,
Copy !req
218. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
We have a lot of fun,
Copy !req
219. but really, it is, at its
heart, an earnest tribute
Copy !req
220. to the art of musical theater.
Copy !req
221. From Gilbert and Sullivan
Copy !req
222. to Hamilton.
Copy !req
223. We've done neither of those genres.
Copy !req
224. So when we sat around and we thought,
Copy !req
225. let's do an actual,
Copy !req
226. inspirational musical theater song,
Copy !req
227. we could think of no one
better to do it justice
Copy !req
228. than Miss Vella Lovell.
Copy !req
229. No. Yeah.
Copy !req
230. So, no. So, Rachel,
Copy !req
231. I'm actually not a musical
theater person at all.
Copy !req
232. Um, actually, singing and dancing
Copy !req
233. makes me V uncomfortable, so...
Copy !req
234. Oh, okay, Adam.
Copy !req
235. Uh, guess you could just force me
Copy !req
236. to sing a song that I don't want to...
Copy !req
237. Don't... Dave...
Copy !req
238. Please don't dance... okay.
Copy !req
239. - I'm gonna do it.
- No... okay.
Copy !req
240. - What... ?
- Say it.
Copy !req
241. - No, no, I don't...
- Say "rainbow."
Copy !req
242. You're just following me, okay.
Copy !req
243. Where'd you learn this dance?
Copy !req
244. You're psychotic.
Copy !req
245. What was that?
Copy !req
246. David is not the moment.
This is literally my moment,
Copy !req
247. it's the title of the song.
Copy !req
248. Wow.
Copy !req
249. Wow, look who cares a
very lot all of a sudden.
Copy !req
250. - Thank you!
- Okay.
Copy !req
251. David Hull, everyone.
Copy !req
252. David Hull, ladies and gentlemen.
Copy !req
253. Thank you!
Copy !req
254. David Hull, everyone!
Copy !req
255. Oh, Lord.
Copy !req
256. So,
Copy !req
257. I think one of the
most gratifying things
Copy !req
258. about doing this show
is having people tell us,
Copy !req
259. um, that-that sometimes,
they see things in the show
Copy !req
260. or hear songs that make them
feel, uh, a little less alone.
Copy !req
261. Um, but what you might not know is,
Copy !req
262. it's kind of the same
thing for the songwriters
Copy !req
263. and-and the writers, too.
Copy !req
264. There are certain songs you write, uh,
Copy !req
265. and lyrics that you write or
pieces of dialogue you write
Copy !req
266. that you're like, "Ugh, am I
the only one who's felt this?
Copy !req
267. Am I, like, the weirdo? Is
this gonna go over well?"
Copy !req
268. And so just know when you
say that you feel less alone,
Copy !req
269. you make us feel less alone.
Copy !req
270. Really.
Copy !req
271. Yeah, you guys know this one.
Copy !req
272. Sing with me!
Copy !req
273. Yes, I deserve this!
Copy !req
274. Angry!
Copy !req
275. Feeling bad!
Copy !req
276. Why do I feel this way?
Copy !req
277. Angry! Mad!
Copy !req
278. My heart is hurting!
Copy !req
279. And it feels... bad!
Copy !req
280. Bad!
Copy !req
281. Ah. Ugh, no.
Copy !req
282. I hear you, Skylar, I
mean, t-this show sucks.
Copy !req
283. I-I get it, Skylar.
Copy !req
284. Oh, thanks, randomly
overdressed crew guy.
Copy !req
285. I appreciate it. No, I...
Copy !req
286. Actually, I'm actually a-a
recurring character on the show.
Copy !req
287. Oh, yes, right. Uh-uh, Dennis.
Copy !req
288. No, it's Danny, actually,
that is my... name.
Copy !req
289. Uh... you know...
Copy !req
290. No, 'cause I-I got to tell you,
Copy !req
291. this show's been a little
rough on me, all right?
Copy !req
292. I-I had to hold a board for Vinnie,
Copy !req
293. which was absolutely
terrifying, and, uh...
Copy !req
294. No, you know what?
Copy !req
295. Uh, I-I'm taking over.
Copy !req
296. Bring out the full orchestra.
Copy !req
297. Strike my mic stand, Rachel Bloom.
Copy !req
298. Yes, sir, right away, Mr. Jolles.
Copy !req
299. I am sorry for the disrespect.
Copy !req
300. As you gosh-darn should, Rachel.
Copy !req
301. Give me the coolest lights you guys got.
Copy !req
302. This is it. It's finally my turn.
Copy !req
303. What? Son of a...
Copy !req
304. Come on!
Copy !req
305. - You're super cool, Rachel!
- Thank you so much.
Copy !req
306. 'Cause she wrote it.
Copy !req
307. Watch them tap, y'all, they're fabulous.
Copy !req
308. And remember, don't be a lawyer.
Copy !req
309. Thank you, thank you so much,
Copy !req
310. Thank you to everyone here and
everyone watching this at home.
Copy !req
311. Thank you for loving
us and singing our songs
Copy !req
312. to your babies and your pets.
Copy !req
313. Thank you, and have a good night.
Copy !req