1. We're all from West Covina!
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2. This is my favorite TV show.
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3. I love you, Rachel Bloom.
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4. Ra-ta-ta!
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5. Hello, Los Angeles.
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6. Oh, my God.
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7. You guys kind of made me tear up.
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8. We love you, Rachel!
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9. Oh, my gosh.
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10. - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
— for www.addic7ed.com —
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11. Welcome!
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12. Welcome!
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13. Um, so, tonight, we are so excited
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14. to present to you just some
of the 157 songs that we...
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15. I know, I know...
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16. Uh, from the Crazy
Ex-Girlfriend songbook.
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17. "Songbook" was their cue,
so that was very important.
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18. Yes. Yes.
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19. Now, uh, because this
whole concert has to air
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20. in 42 minutes on The CW, we
have to be very expeditious,
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21. so I am going to both introduce the show
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22. and change into my next outfit.
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23. This is my dresser, Tommy Marquez.
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24. Um...
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25. See? I'm helping.
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26. Um, Tommy has seen me naked many times.
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27. Many times. Um, if Tommy had a nickel
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28. for every time he'd seen my nipples,
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29. he would have an answer that I can't say
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30. because it was redacted
by Standards and Practices
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31. for being too dirty of a joke.
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32. I like how I'm behind a changing screen,
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33. but the balcony can see everything.
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34. So, now, I'd like to introduce
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35. my two Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songwriters.
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36. On bass, say hello to Jack Dolgen.
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37. And on the piano,
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38. Mr. Adam Schlesinger.
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39. And now...
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40. I am changed.
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41. Coming up is a song that
manages to be both feminist
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42. and anti-feminist at the same time.
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43. Here's your jacket, bitch.
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44. Ooh, it's, like, "I have a beard." Ugh!
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45. Hey. What about gay men?
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46. Oh, no, they're fine.
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47. I have sons.
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48. All right, uh, we'll be right back
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49. after I clean up all the glitter.
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50. Oh...
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51. Anyone want to, um...
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52. you guys want to...
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53. Okay, dare to defy.
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54. We'll be back.
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55. You know, during that
last commercial break,
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56. while you were all...
going to the bathroom
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57. or getting drinks or...
probably fornicating...
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58. um, I was actually backstage,
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59. uh, donating money to
some very worthy causes.
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60. - Wow, Rachel.
- Yeah.
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61. - That's amazing.
- Yeah.
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62. What, um...
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63. what specific charity did you donate to?
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64. What were the names
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65. of the specific charities?
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66. Children.
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67. What's the, uh...
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68. what's the tax ID number of Children?
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69. Let's just do the stupid song, okay?
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70. The best. #HumbleAndBlessed.
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71. Mom and Dad... Mom and
Dad, say I'm a good person,
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72. or I will put you in a
terrible nursing home.
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73. I'm a good person.
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74. No.
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75. Okay, just in case we
need it for broadcast,
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76. I need you both to say,
"You're a good person,"
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77. just in case it's not clear.
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78. Say I'm a good person,
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79. or I'll put you in a nursing home.
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80. And it'll be a bad nursing home, too.
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81. Say it. Say I'm a good person.
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82. - You're a good person.
- I'm a good person.
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83. Did you still say "I'm a good person"?
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84. Dad!
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85. Dad!
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86. Dad!
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87. Say it. You're...
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88. No!
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89. Dad!
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90. Dad, just, Mom'll cue you.
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91. Okay.
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92. Say it. Say it.
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93. You're a good person!
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94. Oh, my God, thank you... !
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95. And now, ladies and gentlemen,
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96. it is my good-person
privilege to introduce...
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97. Donna Lynne Champlin and the
Almost-All-Female Orchestra.
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98. Thank you.
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99. I got the pretty dress, y'all.
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100. But this time, maybe...
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101. just maybe...
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102. Ah.
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103. How you guys doin'?
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104. Yeah! I love ya!
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105. Oh, I have loved playing
Darryl Whitefeather
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106. for the last four years.
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107. But alas, it's time
to hang up the spurs.
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108. Aw...
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109. But not just yet!
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110. So how about we show
a little bi pride, huh?
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111. Because this is all about feelin' proud
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112. and livin' out loud!
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113. Yeah!
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114. Whoo!
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115. Love you!
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116. Okay, we'll be right back
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117. soon as we clean up the confetti again.
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118. If anyone wants to
actually help me this time,
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119. that'd be great.
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120. - Yeah, we'll help you.
- Thank you so much. Thank you so...
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121. - There you go.
- Okay.
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122. Oh, my God, you need one more more.
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123. - Okay.
- You'll be great.
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124. Take care of yourself. Rachel.
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125. Good luck. You're a star.
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126. Thank you so much.
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127. Itchy Cat, can you help me sweep?
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128. Please?
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129. Itchy Cat?
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130. Let's sweep together. Come on.
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131. Yeah, just sweep it there.
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132. Thank you so much.
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133. You know, maybe I judged
yeast infections all wrong.
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134. Thank you so much.
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135. This is a metaphor for something,
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136. but I don't know what.
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137. Oh.
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138. Hello. I...
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139. I totally saw you there.
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140. You know...
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141. when people think of
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,
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142. one word comes to mind.
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143. I'm talking about...
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144. "sex."
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145. Ooh!
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146. Did you all just collectively shudder
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147. at that nasty word?
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148. That's right, "sex."
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149. "Doin' it."
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150. "A special hug."
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151. "Half past hump o'clock."
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152. And so we here at Crazy
Sex-Girlfriend... ha!
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153. We've prepared for you a little...
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154. sex medley.
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155. Uh!
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156. Ooh, what's happening with my...
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157. But you know what?
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158. Screw it.
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159. Michael, what are you doing?
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160. It's a sex medley,
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161. so I'm dancing with my
sexy electric toothbrushes.
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162. What are... what are you...
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163. what... what are you...
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164. hey, what are you talking about?
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165. That's what that song
I sang was about, right?
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166. Electric toothbrushes being so, so sexy.
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167. No.
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168. Michael...
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169. Oh, yeah.
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170. Michael, no, that song
was about pleasing a woman.
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171. What's a woman?
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172. Oh. Uh-oh. Something just happened.
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173. Ah, this, uh...
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174. Oh, boy. This might not
be the right time to...
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175. do this medley.
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176. Unless you want to have...
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177. Get off! Get off the stage.
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178. Come on.
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179. Get off!
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180. This is Scott's time now.
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181. Okay.
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182. Speaking of getting off...
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183. Okay.
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184. Hey, actually, can we not
do this big lift coming up?
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185. Oh, my God, my back hurts so bad.
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186. - Good. It's just, I don't
like it, either. - Okay.
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187. Turn around. Let's see the butt. Nice.
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188. Yup. I know. That's what you want.
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189. Oh, that's nice.
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190. Ow, Scott.
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191. You know what?
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192. It's a good thing you
have that condom, Scott,
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193. even though it is way too big for you.
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194. Because even though
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195. I am on my period, I
can still get pregnant,
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196. because... PSA and fun fact...
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197. Sperm can live in the
uterus for up to five days.
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198. - Did somebody say "sperm"?
- Oh, no.
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199. That's also another song from the show.
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200. Yeah.
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201. Cool. We'll be right back.
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202. Oh. Oh!
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203. Oh, they're trying to get me pregnant.
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204. They don't know how it works.
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205. Okay.
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206. Okay, I think this is
actually a money shot.
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207. I don't...
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208. No, get off me!
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209. Get off!
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210. Welcome back from commercial, everyone.
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211. You guys, you guys,
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212. we all know the most important
part of yoga is the instructor.
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213. So let us take it back
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214. to season one Valencia, bitches.
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215. Exhale on another sigh.
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216. Rachel Bloom sucks.
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217. Ah. Ah.
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218. You know, um,
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219. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
We have a lot of fun,
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220. but really, it is, at its
heart, an earnest tribute
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221. to the art of musical theater.
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222. From Gilbert and Sullivan
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223. to Hamilton.
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224. We've done neither of those genres.
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225. So when we sat around and we thought,
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226. let's do an actual,
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227. inspirational musical theater song,
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228. we could think of no one
better to do it justice
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229. than Miss Vella Lovell.
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230. No. Yeah.
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231. So, no. So, Rachel,
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232. I'm actually not a musical
theater person at all.
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233. Um, actually, singing and dancing
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234. makes me V uncomfortable, so...
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235. Oh, okay, Adam.
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236. Uh, guess you could just force me
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237. to sing a song that I don't want to...
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238. Don't... Dave...
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239. Please don't dance... okay.
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240. - I'm gonna do it.
- No... okay.
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241. - What... ?
- Say it.
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242. - No, no, I don't...
- Say "rainbow."
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243. You're just following me, okay.
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244. Where'd you learn this dance?
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245. You're psychotic.
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246. What was that?
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247. David is not the moment.
This is literally my moment,
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248. it's the title of the song.
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249. Wow.
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250. Wow, look who cares a
very lot all of a sudden.
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251. - Thank you!
- Okay.
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252. David Hull, everyone.
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253. David Hull, ladies and gentlemen.
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254. Thank you!
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255. David Hull, everyone!
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256. Oh, Lord.
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257. So,
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258. I think one of the
most gratifying things
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259. about doing this show
is having people tell us,
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260. um, that-that sometimes,
they see things in the show
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261. or hear songs that make them
feel, uh, a little less alone.
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262. Um, but what you might not know is,
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263. it's kind of the same
thing for the songwriters
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264. and-and the writers, too.
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265. There are certain songs you write, uh,
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266. and lyrics that you write or
pieces of dialogue you write
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267. that you're like, "Ugh, am I
the only one who's felt this?
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268. Am I, like, the weirdo? Is
this gonna go over well?"
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269. And so just know when you
say that you feel less alone,
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270. you make us feel less alone.
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271. Really.
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272. Yeah, you guys know this one.
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273. Sing with me!
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274. Yes, I deserve this!
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275. Angry!
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276. Feeling bad!
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277. Why do I feel this way?
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278. Angry! Mad!
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279. My heart is hurting!
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280. And it feels... bad!
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281. Bad!
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282. Ah. Ugh, no.
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283. I hear you, Skylar, I
mean, t-this show sucks.
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284. I-I get it, Skylar.
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285. Oh, thanks, randomly
overdressed crew guy.
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286. I appreciate it. No, I...
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287. Actually, I'm actually a-a
recurring character on the show.
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288. Oh, yes, right. Uh-uh, Dennis.
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289. No, it's Danny, actually,
that is my... name.
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290. Uh... you know...
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291. No, 'cause I-I got to tell you,
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292. this show's been a little
rough on me, all right?
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293. I-I had to hold a board for Vinnie,
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294. which was absolutely
terrifying, and, uh...
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295. No, you know what?
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296. Uh, I-I'm taking over.
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297. Bring out the full orchestra.
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298. Strike my mic stand, Rachel Bloom.
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299. Yes, sir, right away, Mr. Jolles.
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300. I am sorry for the disrespect.
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301. As you gosh-darn should, Rachel.
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302. Give me the coolest lights you guys got.
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303. This is it. It's finally my turn.
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304. What? Son of a...
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305. Come on!
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306. - You're super cool, Rachel!
- Thank you so much.
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307. 'Cause she wrote it.
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308. Watch them tap, y'all, they're fabulous.
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309. And remember, don't be a lawyer.
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310. Thank you, thank you so much,
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311. Thank you to everyone here and
everyone watching this at home.
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312. Thank you for loving
us and singing our songs
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313. to your babies and your pets.
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314. Thank you, and have a good night.
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315. - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
— for www.addic7ed.com —
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