1. Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...Copy !req
2. So, how does it feel
to be sleeping with a model? Boom!Copy !req
3. I really was into you,
but now my feelings changed.Copy !req
4. - What are you saying?
- I'm saying we're over.Copy !req
5. - I couldn't do all of this without you.
- It's nothing. I—Copy !req
6. - It means a lot to me. You're the best.
- I had sex with Tanya.Copy !req
7. You don't live here anymore.Copy !req
8. - I volunteer as tribute!
- Honey, what are you doing?Copy !req
9. I'm here to help. Let me do something.
I'll be like Mr. Mom.Copy !req
10. Rebecca, I'm an idiot. I realize now
that all this time, it's been you.Copy !req
11. You've always been there for me.
Do you want to go somewhere and talk?Copy !req
12. - I don't know if I can just leave.
- What?Copy !req
13. You could've sailed right out that door
with Josh, but you didn't.Copy !req
14. Instead, you were here for me
when I needed you.Copy !req
15. I love you.
I love you, too.Copy !req
16. Blam!Copy !req
17. - Oh!
- Ooh! Okay, hey!Copy !req
18. - Nice.
- Yeah, uh... yeah.Copy !req
19. Just a gentle— There we go. Wow.Copy !req
20. - You're amazing.
- Thank you.Copy !req
21. I have really enjoyed having a wife.Copy !req
22. I can totally understand
why people want several, but...Copy !req
23. Uh-oh, what's the but?Copy !req
24. But... you really have to figure out
what you're doing about that.Copy !req
25. Josh is spending all his salary on crap.Copy !req
26. It looks like a children's
cancer ward in here.Copy !req
27. Why are you not running into his arms?
It's been a week,Copy !req
28. and I eventually have to figure out
how to do all this on my own, so...Copy !req
29. Why are you really not calling Josh back?Copy !req
30. I'm scared. Okay?
I don't know if I can trust him.Copy !req
31. I mean, he's had
basically three girlfriendsCopy !req
32. in the past couple months.Copy !req
33. What if I'm just the rebound
to the rebound of the rebound?Copy !req
34. Do you still love him?Copy !req
35. - You know the answer to that question.
- Then that's all that matters, right?Copy !req
36. - I...
- So, come on.Copy !req
37. He has been standing out there
for three days.Copy !req
38. - Well, I went home to shower.
- Well...Copy !req
39. - I peed in your plants a lot, though.
- Yeah, okay, okay.Copy !req
40. Look, Josh, why don't you go ahead?Copy !req
41. Okay.Copy !req
42. Rebecca, I know I hurt you,
and I don't blame you for not trusting me,Copy !req
43. but... I promise you
it'll be different this time.Copy !req
44. We'll start over
and do things the right way.Copy !req
45. You hurt her...Copy !req
46. I kill you.Copy !req
47. Okay?Copy !req
48. So go!Copy !req
49. Go be in love.Copy !req
50. Good morning, sir!Copy !req
51. Hurry up.Copy !req
52. Hey!Copy !req
53. Gracias.Copy !req
54. I'm-I'm really sorry, Alex.
Uh, just feeling kinda flu-y.Copy !req
55. So I can't make my shift. Sorry, bro. Bye.Copy !req
56. I feel kinda bad about missing work,Copy !req
57. but today is going to be
your first time at Raging Waters,Copy !req
58. so it's totally worth it!Copy !req
59. Oh, my gosh. Okay, wait.
True confesh time.Copy !req
60. I have been dreaming
about going to Raging Waters with youCopy !req
61. ever since you told me about it
that day at camp.Copy !req
62. Do you remember?Copy !req
63. I remember it was on July 25th, 2005,
because that was the day my aunt died,Copy !req
64. and so you were trying
to take my mind off things.Copy !req
65. You were telling me about the park
and all the fun slidesCopy !req
66. and the unlimited churros.Copy !req
67. I may have exaggerated about
the churros. You have to pay for them.Copy !req
68. I get that, but I'm just so excited
to go with youCopy !req
69. and hold your hand on the Lazy River.Copy !req
70. And throw our arms up
like we're little kidsCopy !req
71. and we're on little flumes.Copy !req
72. Oh, Rebecca, I love you.Copy !req
73. Oh, you love me? You mean
you love something about me.Copy !req
74. No, you.Copy !req
75. I love you.Copy !req
76. Oh, my God. I love you too,
Josh Chan. Come here.Copy !req
77. Uh, Rebecca, can you un-cuddle yourself?
Darryl has been stalking my entire life.Copy !req
78. Apparently, there's an emergency at work
and he's trying to call you.Copy !req
79. Okay, yeah.Copy !req
80. Well, you know what? There's really
bad cell service in the love bubble.Copy !req
81. Well, maybe you could change
to a better provider.Copy !req
82. Okay, fine.Copy !req
83. Ew.Copy !req
84. Let's see.Copy !req
85. Uh, blah.Copy !req
86. Thirty-seven missed calls.
Come on. Okay. Um...Copy !req
87. Hey. Little koala, is it okay,
before we go to the water park,Copy !req
88. if we stop in at work
just for two seconds?Copy !req
89. - Please, please, please?Copy !req
90. Do we have to?
I like to get there when the park opens.Copy !req
91. Those first 15 minutes
are the only time the park's truly clean.Copy !req
92. No, I know, but this is really important.
I think Darryl's panicking a little, okay?Copy !req
93. - Hey, you can come with me.
- What?Copy !req
94. Two seconds max, I promise.Copy !req
95. So, for tomorrow night,Copy !req
96. I got us a great table
with Mom and Dad at Pepper & Oil,Copy !req
97. the best place in town.Copy !req
98. - We're doing a prix fix menu.
- Oh, I think you mean a prix fixe menu.Copy !req
99. What? No. Those words
have X's in them, like "Bex."Copy !req
100. I'm super stoked for my parents
to get to know us as a couple.Copy !req
101. - Oh...Copy !req
102. Uh, it's so dead in here.Copy !req
103. Oh, there they are. Huh.Copy !req
104. Hey, Josh, I'll be back
in just one second, okay?Copy !req
105. - One second, I promise.
- Okay.Copy !req
106. Hey, what up, what up, what up?Copy !req
107. What's with the faces?Copy !req
108. Karen, did you try to cook a chicken
in the microwave again?Copy !req
109. - Not today, but it can be done.
- Is this her?Copy !req
110. This is who we've been waiting for?
This is Rebecca Bunch, your star attorney?Copy !req
111. Hi. Sorry. What?Copy !req
112. You're 25 minutes late,
and that does not happen here anymore.Copy !req
113. Who is this? What's this?
What's going on? What's happening?Copy !req
114. Rebecca, this is Nathaniel Plimpton,
the new co-owner of the firm.Copy !req
115. Co-own— Wait, you-you sold the firm?Copy !req
116. You bought the firm?
You sold it and he— No.Copy !req
117. Yes.Copy !req
118. - Nah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
119. Nathaniel Plimpton from Plimpton,
Plimpton, Plimpton in Los Angeles?Copy !req
120. Your father's a big deal
at a white shoe firm.Copy !req
121. What would he want with a two-bit
operation in this one-horse town?Copy !req
122. Does she always talk
like an old-timey detective?Copy !req
123. Nathaniel's family firm is looking
to expand in the San Gabriel Valley,Copy !req
124. and he made a cash offer over the weekend
that was very generous.Copy !req
125. - No, Darryl. Darryl...
- What?Copy !req
126. - Darryl, what did you do?
- I have expenses, okay?Copy !req
127. I have alimony.Copy !req
128. Madison's teeth are coming in
forwards and sideways.Copy !req
129. And you know what?
This is gonna be great for everyone.Copy !req
130. They're a huge firm.
They're gonna take us to the next level.Copy !req
131. - But, Darryl, I liked our level.
- Trust me. I got this.Copy !req
132. You know what? This is gonna be great.
Uh, you seem great.Copy !req
133. But I...Copy !req
134. I have, um, something to do today,
so I cannot be here today,Copy !req
135. but let's reconnect tomorrow
and get to know each other, okay?Copy !req
136. Miss Bunch?
Can I see you in my office, please?Copy !req
137. Office? What?Copy !req
138. Um, this isn't your office.
This is Darryl's office.Copy !req
139. Oh, I moved him to your office.Copy !req
140. It's taking these guys hours
to get the crap out of here.Copy !req
141. Looked like a gas station in New Mexico.Copy !req
142. Weird taste, that Darryl.
What's that about?Copy !req
143. Um, it's not weird.
He's one-eighth Chippewa.Copy !req
144. Is that how he got into law school?
Okay. I was wondering.Copy !req
145. Look, you seem like a very confident
and self-assuredCopy !req
146. and conventionally handsome
young gentleman,Copy !req
147. but you can't just come in here
and start moving people's offices.Copy !req
148. You can have a cubicle. Any one you want.
Maybe one near the kitchen?Copy !req
149. Excuse me?Copy !req
150. I'm actually glad we're having this little
heart-to-heart because, to be frank—Copy !req
151. Oh, please do start being frank.Copy !req
152. You seem like the only
competent person who works here.Copy !req
153. - Mm.
- Or, at least, I thought you might be.Copy !req
154. You're the one who put this place
on our radar, so...Copy !req
155. - it's kinda your fault that I'm here.
- Yay for me.Copy !req
156. So we're gonna start running this place
like a real business.Copy !req
157. My father and our firm
demand nothing less.Copy !req
158. So we maximize every second.Copy !req
159. I'm gonna need 60 hours a week
from everybody, daily reports,Copy !req
160. - lunch is limited to 30 minutes.Copy !req
161. Basically, anything going on in your life
right now, I recommend you cancel it,Copy !req
162. and then go ahead and cancel it againCopy !req
163. just to make sure
that they know that it's...Copy !req
164. it's canceled, okay?Copy !req
165. You know, this conversation takes me back.Copy !req
166. Oh, it takes me back to New York
and Harvard and Yale.Copy !req
167. Mm, I'm a Stanford man myself.Copy !req
168. But, you know, I came to West Covina
to search for happiness,Copy !req
169. which I have recently found
in my soulmate, Josh Chan.Copy !req
170. - Who?
- Oh, Josh. That's Josh Chan right there.Copy !req
171. - Yeah, he made that cup tower.
- Oh, oh.Copy !req
172. I thought he was here
to change the water cooler.Copy !req
173. You know how they always send
those little buff guys.Copy !req
174. It's like you gotta look
like a water cooler to work on 'em.Copy !req
175. My dad and I have
a whole bit we do about that.Copy !req
176. Yeah, he's not a water cooler.Copy !req
177. He's wonderful, and you are everything
I moved across country to get away from.Copy !req
178. So, um, hmm...Copy !req
179. I quit.Copy !req
180. I said, "I quit."Copy !req
181. Great. You're leaving.
Now, I only have to fire four people.Copy !req
182. - What?
- Well, yeah.Copy !req
183. We need to get 250K out of the budget
by Friday at 8 a.m.Copy !req
184. per my agreement with my father.Copy !req
185. Huh? You can't come in here
and just start randomly firing people.Copy !req
186. Sure, I can.Copy !req
187. Somebody's gotta come up with $250,000.Copy !req
188. - Just get it out of new business.
No one can do that.Copy !req
189. - I can.
- Oh, but you just quit.Copy !req
190. So... it's not your problem.Copy !req
191. I guess those people are on their own.Copy !req
192. We are getting fired, so fired.Copy !req
193. - This happened to me once.
- Here comes a Canada story.Copy !req
194. I was working for this firm in Manitoba,Copy !req
195. and they brought in this shark
from Guelph and he canned everyone.Copy !req
196. - It was a fishery, so it was ironic.
- I can't get fired.Copy !req
197. All right? My marriage is in shambles.Copy !req
198. We're already paying
for two places to live.Copy !req
199. I'm gonna have to quit law school.Copy !req
200. This job's the only thing
keeping my family afloat.Copy !req
201. I bought a chinchilla
from a high-priced dealer in VenturaCopy !req
202. and the APR is ten percent.Copy !req
203. I'm the one who's gonna get fired.
Mark my words. It's always me.Copy !req
204. Gary, stop being so self-involved.Copy !req
205. - George. It's George. My name is George.
- I don't like new things.Copy !req
206. I don't like it when new people come in.
It is never a good thing.Copy !req
207. I'm a ticking time bomb.Copy !req
208. Oh, no.Copy !req
209. So you quit and then un-quit
and we're not going to Raging Waters.Copy !req
210. Becks, I called in sick.
I did the whole fake cough and everything.Copy !req
211. I know, I know.
I feel terrible, but I gotta stay.Copy !req
212. Okay? I'm sorry. Do you want me
to reimburse you for the tickets?Copy !req
213. No. Don't be ridiculous.Copy !req
214. I'll call Hector and see
if him and his mom want to go.Copy !req
215. Although they do have that cooking class.Copy !req
216. Oh, God, I feel terrible.Copy !req
217. Should I also cancel dinner
with my parents tomorrow?Copy !req
218. They bought matching cardigans.Copy !req
219. No. Nuh-uh. We're not canceling anything
for handsome Hitler over there.Copy !req
220. - Except you canceled our whole day.
- After today.Copy !req
221. After today, no canceling.
We are never canceling. Okay?Copy !req
222. I feel bad for everybody
knowing that they might lose their job.Copy !req
223. Shh-shh-shh. I'm not...
I'm not telling them.Copy !req
224. If they know they might get fired,Copy !req
225. they'll do their jobs
even worse than usual,Copy !req
226. which is tough, but they'll do it.Copy !req
227. Excuse me, sir. Before you go,
would you mind changing the water cooler?Copy !req
228. Mind? Nah. Love this stuff.Copy !req
229. - Thank you.
- He's not...Copy !req
230. Never mind.Copy !req
231. Well, at least, we're cubicle buddies.Copy !req
232. Hey, hey, hey, no, Paula, don't panic.Copy !req
233. Okay, just give it to me straight.
Who is getting fired?Copy !req
234. I mean, it's gotta be Karen, right?
She's awful.Copy !req
235. Can we make it Karen if it's not Karen?Copy !req
236. - No one's getting fired.
- Oh, my God, I am so fired.Copy !req
237. - We are all so fired.
- No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
238. I'm gonna live in a box with my family.
How am I gonna cook?Copy !req
239. How am I gonna do laundry?
How am I gonna take a bath?Copy !req
240. Because that is the only thing
that gets me through the day,Copy !req
241. just thinking about sinking
into those suds.Copy !req
242. The minute I laid eyes on him,
I knew we were all in trouble.Copy !req
243. A man with a face
that perfectly symmetrical has no soul.Copy !req
244. - Thank you.Copy !req
245. Hey! So, I am so glad
that we could get together.Copy !req
246. You know, man to man,
co-boss to co-boss, equal to equal.Copy !req
247. If I might, I would suggest
the seasoned fries.Copy !req
248. Oh, paprika? Paprik-yes.Copy !req
249. I don't eat fries, or salt,
or solids before sundown.Copy !req
250. Yeah, I eat a liquid-based open source
meal replacement two times a dayCopy !req
251. - and a no-carb dinner.
- Wow.Copy !req
252. I track my sugar
with this glucose monitor.Copy !req
253. What is that?Copy !req
254. It's a small machine
that implants right in the soft tissue,Copy !req
255. reports my carb intake.Copy !req
256. Oh, my God. You are literally a machine.Copy !req
257. You are in it to win it.
You're like a young me.Copy !req
258. Eh, mm—Copy !req
259. So, listen, young me,
I just wanted to say a little bit moreCopy !req
260. about the Whitefeather culture.Copy !req
261. Darryl, rest assured.Copy !req
262. I will take into consideration
any and all of your input...Copy !req
263. - Great.
- ... now that I'm the majority owner.Copy !req
264. Great. What? No, no, no, no, no.
You and I are equal partners.Copy !req
265. We were. You sold me
half of your equity in the firm.Copy !req
266. Exactly. So we own an equal amount.Copy !req
267. Then I tracked down your ex-wife,
bought the equity she got in the divorce,Copy !req
268. so now I am the majority holder.Copy !req
269. Just think of it this way.
Instead of there being two co-bosses,Copy !req
270. there are three.Copy !req
271. And I'm two of them, so...Copy !req
272. we'll never worry about a tieCopy !req
273. because the third boss
will always break it.Copy !req
274. - But that's you.
- Great point.Copy !req
275. Oh...Copy !req
276. Darryl...Copy !req
277. You're right. These do look delicious.Copy !req
278. Just... Oh, my God,
the sweet smell of heart disease.Copy !req
279. Well, enjoy.Copy !req
280. Hi, this is Rebecca Bunch
from Whitefeather and Associates,Copy !req
281. and we recently met
at the conference of mortgage brokers,Copy !req
282. and I am wondering if you're happy
with your current legal representation,Copy !req
283. or if you're perhaps looking
for a new firm.Copy !req
284. Yes, I am the young lady
with the ample bosom,Copy !req
285. and I am gonna let you talk to me that way
if you hire us to represent you.Copy !req
286. Oh, damn it. No, I'm sorry, sir.
I was not cursing at you.Copy !req
287. What am I wearing?Copy !req
288. How dare you!Copy !req
289. You know, if you want to know
sexual details about me,Copy !req
290. you have to employ me first.Copy !req
291. Okay, keep in touch. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
292. What are you doing?Copy !req
293. Water polo.
I played right wing for Stanford.Copy !req
294. That's a charming picture.
Cute little bonnet. What's that called?Copy !req
295. - A bonnet.
- So, what are you working on?Copy !req
296. - Oh, this is my list of people to fire.
- What? Give me that.Copy !req
297. Number one, screechy blonde over-sharer.Copy !req
298. Number two,
dumb Canadian joke guy. Yeah.Copy !req
299. Number three, mousy glasses girl.Copy !req
300. Number four,
red-haired sarcastic mom lady.Copy !req
301. No, no, no. You can't—
You can't fire any of these people,Copy !req
302. especially not
red-haired sarcastic mom lady.Copy !req
303. Her name is Paula and she's great.Copy !req
304. She's in law school
and she's my best friend.Copy !req
305. Paula. That's her name.Copy !req
306. Okay. Thank you.
I could not remember Paula.Copy !req
307. - Wow, you're cold.Copy !req
308. - Your parents must be amazing.
- They are, actually.Copy !req
309. My family is pretty much perfect.
We're known for it.Copy !req
310. People call us the Perfect Plimptons.Copy !req
311. You know, Nathaniel,
I used to be like you. Ruthless.Copy !req
312. But then, one day, I was crying a lot
and I decided to flip things around,Copy !req
313. decided to put happiness before success.Copy !req
314. And when I did that,
the world rewarded me with true happiness.Copy !req
315. It rewarded me with a man who is strongCopy !req
316. and sweet and confident
and inspires me every day.Copy !req
317. Oh, you're dating another guy?Copy !req
318. Not the human flip-flop
that was in the office before?Copy !req
319. Nope, that's him. Yeah, no, that's him.Copy !req
320. And you know what? He's not a flip-flop
and he's not a water cooler.Copy !req
321. He is a man, he's a human man,
and he's the human man of my dreams.Copy !req
322. - Oh.Copy !req
323. Yes! Yes, yes, yes.Copy !req
324. I just got us a massive meeting
with a massive client tomorrow morning.Copy !req
325. Read this. Read that, Perfect Plimpton.Copy !req
326. Yeah! I'm gonna get that 250K.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
327. And you know what? Tomorrow,
wear your fancy little Easter bonnet.Copy !req
328. What a jerk.Copy !req
329. Water polo. It's like—
could he be more of a white?Copy !req
330. I never understood that sport.
How do they get the horses in the water?Copy !req
331. I don't know. I don't know anything
about that stupid sportCopy !req
332. 'cause I'm not a WASP-y robot.Copy !req
333. Hey, can we stop talking about this guy?
It's really boring.Copy !req
334. You're right. You're right. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
335. I should not give him this power.Copy !req
336. I shouldn't let his needle
puncture our love bubble.Copy !req
337. Mm-mm.Copy !req
338. Come here.Copy !req
339. - Did I tell you he wears a bonnet?
- I'm gonna go watch TV.Copy !req
340. See? He's getting to you,
just like he's getting to me.Copy !req
341. It just doesn't fit in this office.
And I know how much you love it.Copy !req
342. Oh.Copy !req
343. For me. Good. Good.
Thanks, babe. Thank you.Copy !req
344. That's very sweet.Copy !req
345. I can't wait to display this prominently
in my home somewhere.Copy !req
346. Oh, Josh, I think I've made
a terrible mistake. You were right.Copy !req
347. Selling the firm was
an impulse decision. I... Damn it!Copy !req
348. I flew too close to the sun.
Now I've got wax in my feathers.Copy !req
349. Aw. That's okay, babe.
Got a lot of feathers left.Copy !req
350. Hey, Darryl, come on.
We've got an important meeting.Copy !req
351. - What's wrong with him?
- He's having a tough time.Copy !req
352. None of his... dreamcatchers work in here.Copy !req
353. Don't worry about me. I'm okay.Copy !req
354. And no matter what happens,
everyone in this office has each other.Copy !req
355. And we'll get through this together.Copy !req
356. Yeah, together. Okay, come on.
Just go. We gotta set up. Come on.Copy !req
357. - Bunch of people about to get fired?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
358. Yeah.Copy !req
359. Well, at least,
I can take the carpool lane.Copy !req
360. Mr. Whitworth, Mr. Stonebrow,
I would like to start by sayingCopy !req
361. that I think your country club
is exclusive in the best way.Copy !req
362. I mean, I would never be accepted
due to my gender and heritage,Copy !req
363. and good for you guys
for keeping it old school.Copy !req
364. So, all you're trying to do
is purchase this small parcel of land,Copy !req
365. but the cemetery over here is blocking you
from purchasing it by suing you.Copy !req
366. Our lawyers have tried
to get that suit thrown out.Copy !req
367. Yes, and they failed because
they're afraid to get their hands dirty.Copy !req
368. But not me. I never even wash my hands.Copy !req
369. Sirs, what you need is someone
who will bury that cemetery.Copy !req
370. Solid wordplay. Go on.Copy !req
371. Five years ago, this cemetery said
they would run out of room in three years.Copy !req
372. Yet... they're still burying bodies.
Why? Why is that?Copy !req
373. Well, I think it's because they're
stacking bodies on top of other bodies.Copy !req
374. Mm-hmm. Don't believe me?
Happens all the time. Google it.Copy !req
375. And when I prove that they are
engaging in this criminal activity,Copy !req
376. they are gonna drop the lawsuit
like a dead body.Copy !req
377. - On top of ten or 12 other dead bodies.
- Isn't that blackmail?Copy !req
378. A little bit.Copy !req
379. You know, sometimes,
you just gotta say to the wife,Copy !req
380. "You know, maybe you should get a job.Copy !req
381. Then you can tell me not to go
to strip clubs." Am I right? Huh?Copy !req
382. I'm a lady. I can say it. Well, gentlemen,
thank you so much for your time today,Copy !req
383. and I look forward
to hearing from you soon.Copy !req
384. Yes, you'll have our decision
within two to three weeks.Copy !req
385. Okay. Well, you two take care. Bye.Copy !req
386. - You did great.
- Yeah.Copy !req
387. I could teach a very offensive class
on how to appeal to rich white men.Copy !req
388. I don't know what you guys are
so happy about. They didn't hire us.Copy !req
389. They're clearly going to.Copy !req
390. In two to three weeks?
What is wrong with you people?Copy !req
391. I said, "Friday at 8 a.m."
That's the deadline.Copy !req
392. - Wait, what? What deadline?
- Nothing.Copy !req
393. It's a deadline
that Nathaniel's obsessed withCopy !req
394. because his rich daddy said it.Copy !req
395. Pardon me?Copy !req
396. You have to admit,
you are a little obsessed.Copy !req
397. Sometimes, it's like, "Paging Dr. Freud.
Oedipus needs his blankie."Copy !req
398. - It's, like— It's a joke.Copy !req
399. What's that guy's name?Copy !req
400. - It's Glenn.
- Gene.Copy !req
401. - It's George.
- Oh.Copy !req
402. - George, you're fired.
- No.Copy !req
403. - What?
- We can't get by without Gene.Copy !req
404. - Glenn.
- I just said it's George.Copy !req
405. George, pack your bag, son.
You're fired.Copy !req
406. I'm sorry.Copy !req
407. Yes, Mr. Whitworth. So, I know
you said it would be a few weeks,Copy !req
408. but I was hoping we could get
a "yes" a little sooner than that.Copy !req
409. So, I was calling to say
that if you say yes now,Copy !req
410. we will throw in
a signing bonus of $10,000.Copy !req
411. And also, I don't know
if you happened to notice my ample bosom,Copy !req
412. but we do have "No Bra Fridays" here and—Copy !req
413. Oh, I'm on speaker?Copy !req
414. Oh, okay. Hey, gang. All right.Copy !req
415. Hope to hear from you soon.
All right. Bye.Copy !req
416. This is so great.
I'm so happy we're having this dinner.Copy !req
417. Mom... Dad...Copy !req
418. I really want you to get to know
me and Rebecca as a team,Copy !req
419. a partnership, a two-headed love monster.Copy !req
420. Oh! That's so sweet, Josh. Mm.Copy !req
421. That's adorable.Copy !req
422. - Isn't it, Joseph?
- Love monster. Very cute. I'm tickled.Copy !req
423. It's just that Josh and I have
been through so much,Copy !req
424. and we're both so relievedCopy !req
425. that we've finally bridged
the fjord that once separated us.Copy !req
426. Damn it!Copy !req
427. I'm sorry. I'm so— I'm sorry.Copy !req
428. I meant— I'm so happy, I went "Damn it!"Copy !req
429. I'm so damn glad to be here
with the Chans tonight. Oh!Copy !req
430. I'm... I'm sorry. You know what?
I have to just hit the ladies... room.Copy !req
431. I'm not a football player. Ha-ha-ha. Okay.Copy !req
432. - She...Copy !req
433. Hey, hey. Why are you spying on me,
you inglorious bastard?Copy !req
434. Oh, please.
I am not here because of you.Copy !req
435. This is the only
decent restaurant in town.Copy !req
436. It's the only place I can get a steak
that isn't stuffed with cheese. Thank you.Copy !req
437. Now, quit bothering me and go back
to Board Shorts McGee and his family.Copy !req
438. You know what?
His name's Josh freaking Chan, okay?Copy !req
439. It's not Board Shorts McGee,
it's not Flip-Flop, it's not Water Cooler.Copy !req
440. And frankly, you're
a little obsessed with Josh Chan.Copy !req
441. Yeah. It's, like, weird and unhealthy.Copy !req
442. Hey. Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
443. Hundo for you if you slip some
American cheese singles into his steak.Copy !req
444. Oh, sorry about that.Copy !req
445. Rebecca is so good at her job.Copy !req
446. In fact, she's so devoted to her job,Copy !req
447. I really haven't seen her
a whole lot the last couple of days.Copy !req
448. Uh, but, you know,
she's really inspired me.Copy !req
449. I've been talking to Alex
about a promotion.Copy !req
450. Oh, that's wonderful, Josh.Copy !req
451. Are you out of that tiny back room yet?Copy !req
452. I told you. That's where
the management desks are.Copy !req
453. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
454. I thought he was here
to change the water cooler.Copy !req
455. Blah, blah, puka shells,
blah, blah, karate,Copy !req
456. blah, blah, blah,
sleeping in my old twin bed,Copy !req
457. blah, blah, intensive purposes.Copy !req
458. I always urge people
to hang on to their receiptsCopy !req
459. because of our generous return policy.Copy !req
460. Sixty days with or without the box.Copy !req
461. Go back to Board Shorts McGee.Copy !req
462. - Stop it!
- What's wrong, Rebecca?Copy !req
463. Um, I'm so sorry. I, um...Copy !req
464. - I have to go.
- You're not, like, actually going.Copy !req
465. We just got here.Copy !req
466. We haven't gotten our amuse bushes.Copy !req
467. It's amuse-bouche, okay? It's a small bite
that tickles your palate.Copy !req
468. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get mad
at that. I have to go. I have to fix this.Copy !req
469. Josh, all I want to do
is be back in our love bubble.Copy !req
470. Okay. But I-I-I have to go. I have to go.Copy !req
471. - That was rude.
- It was.Copy !req
472. I still like her more than Valencia.Copy !req
473. Nathaniel's just ruining everything.
He's getting in my head.Copy !req
474. He's making me think that Josh
is an idiot, which is ridiculous.Copy !req
475. It's fine.Copy !req
476. Okay, all I have to do is get the proof,
get the client, save everyone's jobs,Copy !req
477. and then I can just quit
and go back to my love bubble.Copy !req
478. I found something!
- Oh, what?Copy !req
479. Oh, my God, that's a skull!
- Just wait. There's more.Copy !req
480. - Boom!
Ew.Copy !req
481. - Oh, my God! Oh, awesome.
- Yes, awesome!Copy !req
482. They totally buried
two bodies in one casket.Copy !req
483. I mean, that's not awesome,
but, like, for us, this is awesome.Copy !req
484. - Yes! I knew it, I knew it.
- Ah, there's four leg bones in here!Copy !req
485. Okay. We got the skulls, we got the proof.
Let's just get out of here, okay?Copy !req
486. I've got two pelvises!Copy !req
487. Freeze! Drop the bones!
- Paula, it's the fuzz. Scatter.Copy !req
488. Paula!Copy !req
489. Paula...Copy !req
490. I'm so sorry that I left you. I...Copy !req
491. The light flashed and I panicked
and I just— I ran here. What happened?Copy !req
492. I convinced the security guard
to let me go.Copy !req
493. How?Copy !req
494. I told him that I would go to the Long
Beach Aquarium with him on Saturday.Copy !req
495. He likes the touch tank.Copy !req
496. I don't want to talk about it.
I just want to go home and shower.Copy !req
497. Yeah, I understand that, Paula,
but we can't. We can't.Copy !req
498. - We gotta get to work.
- What?Copy !req
499. - Oh, it's 7:45! We gotta go.
- Why?Copy !req
500. - Just get this jalopy moving.
- I want to go homeCopy !req
501. and scrub the dead bodies
and the security guard breath off my body!Copy !req
502. Paula, Nathaniel is gonna start
firing people at 8 a.m.Copy !req
503. Business is not personal.
It's about the bottom line.Copy !req
504. It's about efficiency,
saving time and money, and—Copy !req
505. Just do it! I can't take it anymore.
Do with me what you will.Copy !req
506. Fire me, throw me out,
cover me in honey and blindfold me.Copy !req
507. My safe word is "penis."Copy !req
508. I heard someone yell "penis."
What's wrong, Karen?Copy !req
509. - Listen, it's nothing personal, but—Copy !req
510. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
We have proof.Copy !req
511. Paula and I have proof that the cemetery
is committing burial fraud.Copy !req
512. Great. Where is that proof?Copy !req
513. Okay, it was a little bit confiscated,Copy !req
514. but we can get more
because we know it's there now.Copy !req
515. - So you still don't have the client?
- Technically, no.Copy !req
516. But they will hire us once they see—Copy !req
517. How many times do I have to say
"Friday at 8 a.m."? That's the deadline.Copy !req
518. You lost, game over, get out of the pool,Copy !req
519. wash off the chlorine,
and apologize to your father.Copy !req
520. What?Copy !req
521. It's over.Copy !req
522. Hey, hey, hey. Please don't do this.
Please don't do this.Copy !req
523. Can I talk to you in private for just
one second? One second in private.Copy !req
524. Rebecca, I understand
that you are emotional,Copy !req
525. but, hey, we had a deal.Copy !req
526. You cannot do this to these people.Copy !req
527. These are good people.Copy !req
528. They've supported me
through a lot of tough times.Copy !req
529. I moved here less than a year ago,
completely started over,Copy !req
530. and they... they supported me.Copy !req
531. Even in the most humiliating moments.Copy !req
532. I pooped in a shoe on YouTube, okay?
That's what happened.Copy !req
533. Please, I beg you. I'm begging you.Copy !req
534. Human to human,
just reconsider, just reconsider.Copy !req
535. You know, I really thought
that you could be a winner.Copy !req
536. Help me put this place on the map.Copy !req
537. But I was wrong. You're weak.Copy !req
538. And I should have recognized that
the second I met your loser boyfriend.Copy !req
539. If you'll excuse me,
I have some people that I need to fire,Copy !req
540. but I need to get my list
because, for some reason,Copy !req
541. I can't remember anyone's name
except for Paula's.Copy !req
542. - Get over here!
- Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
543. Oh, you're such an arrogant jerk!Copy !req
544. You're about to ruin the lives
of these innocent...Copy !req
545. semi-hardworking people.Copy !req
546. Also, do you know
what you made me do?Copy !req
547. You made me offend my future in-laws.
You almost got me arrested.Copy !req
548. I watched my best friend hold
a human pelvis in her hands.Copy !req
549. I have offered to show my ample bosom
to so many gross old men,Copy !req
550. and you made the love of my life say,Copy !req
551. "Boop-be-doop-be-doop-be-doop
be-doop-be-doop."Copy !req
552. I don't know. Those words sound
a little advanced for Josh.Copy !req
553. - Come here!
- Okay, listen.Copy !req
554. You are surprisingly nimble,
but just put the pen down, okay?Copy !req
555. Why are you running?
Why are you running so fast from a girl?Copy !req
556. Stop running, you coward!Copy !req
557. Why don't we stop right here
and just take a breath, huh?Copy !req
558. - Oh, no.Copy !req
559. - Whoa!
- It's the flying squirrel.Copy !req
560. Oh, we should break it up.Copy !req
561. She might hurt him
and that would be terrible.Copy !req
562. Darryl, you're the boss.
You have to intervene.Copy !req
563. Actually, I'm not a boss.Copy !req
564. I'm not even a co-boss.
I'm a semi-pseudo-boss.Copy !req
565. - I mean nothing. I'm useless.Copy !req
566. A puppet. A male cheerleader.Copy !req
567. Oh, no.Copy !req
568. Hello, gentlemen. How may I help you?Copy !req
569. - Take it. Take it.
- No.Copy !req
570. Uh...Copy !req
571. Yes, Nathaniel has
a terrible peanut allergy,Copy !req
572. and Rebecca is trying to stab him
with an EpiPen.Copy !req
573. - Really?
- You are crazy.Copy !req
574. - Yeah, a little bit.Copy !req
575. Gentlemen, I am so sorry you had
to witness that.Copy !req
576. Peanut allergies. My son has that.
It's a nightmare. Blasted legumes.Copy !req
577. - Ah.
- What can we do for you, sirs?Copy !req
578. Oh, uh, the cemetery dropped
their suit this morning,Copy !req
579. and we thought that you might
have something to do with it.Copy !req
580. And now that we smell the scent
of death on you, we know it was you.Copy !req
581. You really went above and beyond.
Or should I say... below?Copy !req
582. - Good one, Stonebrow.
- Thank you.Copy !req
583. So you can send the papers over today.Copy !req
584. - Let's get that land, okay?
- Oh, wonderful!Copy !req
585. Looking forward
to working with you, sirs.Copy !req
586. Thank you, guys.Copy !req
587. So, I did it. I got the money.Copy !req
588. So, you fire any of these people
over my dead body. Pun intended.Copy !req
589. Sir, if you're gonna terminate anyone,
let it be me.Copy !req
590. - Darryl—
- For I am the angelCopy !req
591. that let the devil run loose
in this house.Copy !req
592. My greed has imperiled
these wonderful people.Copy !req
593. Shame on me! For I have failed all of you.Copy !req
594. I am but the jester
in this house of feathers.Copy !req
595. Really?Copy !req
596. Why is everyone so dramatic around here?Copy !req
597. Look, I've been saying all week
I need to hit a number and we just did.Copy !req
598. - So, you're safe for today.
- Yes!Copy !req
599. - Really?
- Yeah!Copy !req
600. - Oh, geez!Copy !req
601. - Sorry.
- Honey, you did a great job!Copy !req
602. All right, buddy.Copy !req
603. Totally worth it.Copy !req
604. You smell awful.Copy !req
605. Well, thank you
for literally fighting for us in there.Copy !req
606. He's a terrible person.
He is a terrible, terrible dreamboat.Copy !req
607. Like, it's weird
how good-looking he is, right?Copy !req
608. It's not... No, it's like
he's chiseled out of evil marble.Copy !req
609. What's the matter?
Everything worked out.Copy !req
610. And you are free and clear.
You can just go back to your love bubble.Copy !req
611. I feel so terrible
about how I treated Josh.Copy !req
612. No, I let Nathaniel get to me
and I feel awful about it.Copy !req
613. Honey, you were just trying
to save everybody's jobs.Copy !req
614. I know, but I seriously don't know
what came over me.Copy !req
615. I mean, Josh is my world, and suddenly,
Nathaniel made me think that was stupid.Copy !req
616. Even for just a second.Copy !req
617. I mean... I love Josh Chan.Copy !req
618. And Josh Chan loves me.
Who cares if he's not an Ivy League snob?Copy !req
619. He's a good, decent person
and I love him so much.Copy !req
620. Paula, do you think
Josh will ever forgive me?Copy !req
621. So, I know I've been a bitch
the past few days,Copy !req
622. and I think what happened was...Copy !req
623. I absorbed Nathaniel's evilness,Copy !req
624. and it turned me into a lunatic.Copy !req
625. Yeah, exactly.Copy !req
626. But you did save your friends' jobs.Copy !req
627. So... I can forgive you this time.Copy !req
628. What about your parents?Copy !req
629. I can't believe I yelled at you
in front of them, and then I left.Copy !req
630. - I owe them such an apology.
- That goes without saying.Copy !req
631. - Yeah.Copy !req
632. Hey.Copy !req
633. So, um... what do you want to do?Copy !req
634. You want to... get in our PJs and cuddle,Copy !req
635. or do you want to just
go straight to bed?Copy !req
636. - Go to bed.
- Yeah.Copy !req
637. Hey, um...Copy !req
638. How about I chase you and you runCopy !req
639. like I'm pretending
to be really mad at you?Copy !req
640. - What?
- Yeah, it's like a sexy, silly, fun game.Copy !req
641. Like... Like, I'll... I'll chase you,Copy !req
642. pretending that I want to kill you.Copy !req
643. And you'll run. It'll be like,
"Watch out! She's gonna get you!"Copy !req
644. Okay. I'm pretty fast, you know.Copy !req
645. In high school, my hundred-yard dash
was eighth best in the county.Copy !req
646. Yeah, just run. Run, yeah.Copy !req
647. - Oh, God!Copy !req
648. Uh, so, listen, thank you
for letting me go in the graveyard.Copy !req
649. Oh, don't thank me until you've...Copy !req
650. felt the skin of the ray.Copy !req
651. - It's so soft.
- You know, I'm good.Copy !req
652. - I don't— I just would like to go soon—
- Touch the ray.Copy !req
653. - All right. Okay.
- Paula, touch the ray.Copy !req
654. Okay, I touched the ray.Copy !req
655. - Can I go now?
- Touch the urchin.Copy !req
656. - Mm.
- You have to touch the sea urchin.Copy !req
657. Feels like... I don't know,
someone doing you a favor in a graveyard.Copy !req
658. - Okay.
- But... But...Copy !req
659. I want you to look at my face
so that I can see the momentCopy !req
660. when your fingertips touch the urchin.Copy !req
661. - How does it feel? How does it feel?
- Uh...Copy !req
662. Speak from the heart
and don't lie or I'll know.Copy !req
663. Okay. It's, um... It's sharp.Copy !req
664. This is so awesome.
I love this stuff so much.Copy !req
665. Let's go look at some coral, okay?Copy !req
666. Wait, no, no. It's this way!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req