1. When I sang my solo,Copy !req
2. I felt, like, a really palpable
connection with the audience.Copy !req
3. And-and I know that it
was, like, a bummer
my mom didn't show,Copy !req
4. But in that moment,
it was like everyone was my mom.Copy !req
5. You know?Copy !req
6. ugh, whatever,
she's just pissedCopy !req
7. Because I didn't do
the mock-trial summer intensive.Copy !req
8. Ugh, she wasn't even
gonna let me go here,Copy !req
9. But then I called my dad
on his honeymoon in the bahamas,Copy !req
10. And I told him I was having
suicidal thoughts,Copy !req
11. So, ta-da, here I am.Copy !req
12. Josh, session b has
been a whirlwind,Copy !req
13. And you've been my rock.Copy !req
14. You've awakened my sexual being
for the first time.Copy !req
15. I never knew that two people
could be so connected.Copy !req
16. This has been the best
summer of my life,Copy !req
17. And you're the reason why.Copy !req
18. Okay, let's talk schedules.Copy !req
19. So I'll visit at christmas,
and then I think...Copy !req
20. Josh, you ready?
Um, my mom and dad are here.Copy !req
21. Ugh, my mom is late,
per the us'.Copy !req
22. Um, this-this has been
a great summer...Copy !req
23. It has been the best
summer. Yeah.Copy !req
24. But, uh...Copy !req
25. Ugh, grande dame arrives.Copy !req
26. Okay, I'll be
right there, mother!Copy !req
27. I'm sorry, you were saying?Copy !req
28. Well, with school
and baseball, uh...Copy !req
29. What?Copy !req
30. Wh-what?Copy !req
31. Good god, mother.Copy !req
32. Are you trying to kill me?Copy !req
33. Uh...
What?Copy !req
34. I-I just think that we're
just really different,Copy !req
35. You know, um, like, you're,
like, really dramaticCopy !req
36. And, like... Weird.Copy !req
37. I don't know.Copy !req
38. I-I think maybe we
should take a break.Copy !req
39. No, no...Copy !req
40. What? But I love you.Copy !req
41. And-and thanks for that.Copy !req
42. I mean it.Copy !req
43. Come on, josh.Copy !req
44. Uh, bye, rebecca.Copy !req
45. I'll-I'll see you around.
No, no, but...Copy !req
46. No.Copy !req
47. What?Copy !req
48. No, I'm not dramatic.Copy !req
49. I'm not, I'm not dramatic.Copy !req
50. Oh, my god, shut up,
you stupid bitch!Copy !req
51. Damn it, rebecca, is
that a hickey on your neck?Copy !req
52. Okay, look,
keep in mind,Copy !req
53. Anything happens, we go
right to the abortionist.Copy !req
54. Nothing, nothing, is going
to ruin your futureCopy !req
55. And your career,
you hear me, rebecca?Copy !req
56. Are you listening to me?Copy !req
57. Your future is
all that matters.Copy !req
58. Rebecca, it's mom.Copy !req
59. So did you win
the corcoran case?Copy !req
60. You want that promotion,
don't you?Copy !req
61. It's very important.Copy !req
62. It's what we've been
working so hard for.Copy !req
63. I've said that a million times.Copy !req
64. Eh, I guess you don't care
what I think.Copy !req
65. I'm sure you told your father
and that whoreCopy !req
66. At tucker's seventh
birthday party.Copy !req
67. Anyway, I got to go.Copy !req
68. Today the dermatologist
is telling me if it's cancer.Copy !req
69. Bye-bye.Copy !req
70. Woman (on tv):
What are you waiting for?Copy !req
71. Spread it, indulge.Copy !req
72. Ask yourself, "when was the last
time you were truly happy?"Copy !req
73. Ugh, good morning.Copy !req
74. The guys from corcoran call back
about the loan approval yet?Copy !req
75. They've been taking forever.Copy !req
76. What? What's wrong?Copy !req
77. Laura wants to see you.Copy !req
78. Oh, god, why?Copy !req
79. You're getting promoted.Copy !req
80. To partner.Copy !req
81. Right now.Copy !req
82. Now?
It's a surprise.Copy !req
83. But no one told me.Copy !req
84. Because... Surprise!Copy !req
85. Wow, um... Wow.Copy !req
86. This is great, wow.Copy !req
87. This is fantastic, right?
I know.Copy !req
88. This is just
objectively fanta...Copy !req
89. This is objectively
fantastic.Copy !req
90. Like, on paper
fantastic, right?Copy !req
91. Wow.Copy !req
92. Wow, w-w-wow, wow.Copy !req
93. Wow.Copy !req
94. I-I'm sorry, I just need
to get a smoothie.Copy !req
95. Yeah, I-I didn't have
any breakfast,Copy !req
96. And I-I get weird
when I don't have protein.Copy !req
97. I'm just...
I'm just going to the...Copy !req
98. I'm just going
to the deli on broadway.Copy !req
99. This is great.Copy !req
100. I'm so happy.
Mom's gonna be so happy.Copy !req
101. This is what happy feels like.Copy !req
102. Happy just feels great
and amazing.Copy !req
103. This is definitely
what happy feels like.Copy !req
104. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
105. This is what happy feels like.
Okay, okay.Copy !req
106. Okay, all right.Copy !req
107. In case of emergency,
in case of emergency...Copy !req
108. Break glass in case
of emergency.Copy !req
109. Okay, okay.Copy !req
110. Okay, okay. Okay.Copy !req
111. Ugh.Copy !req
112. Dear god,Copy !req
113. I don't pray to you
because I believe in science,Copy !req
114. But I don't know what to do.Copy !req
115. Give me guidance.Copy !req
116. Please.Copy !req
117. "ah-men."Copy !req
118. "a-men."ah-men"?Copy !req
119. Hey, keep moving!Copy !req
120. Keep moving, now.Copy !req
121. What a weird ad campaign.Copy !req
122. Josh chan?Copy !req
123. Josh?Copy !req
124. Josh! Josh!Copy !req
125. Rebecca bunch?Copy !req
126. Oh, my god.Copy !req
127. Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
128. Josh chan,Copy !req
129. Appearing out of nowhereCopy !req
130. After, what, I
mean, ten years?Copy !req
131. Wow.
Wow.Copy !req
132. Oh, my god, this is weird.Copy !req
133. Right?
Yeah.Copy !req
134. This is... This is...
This is so weird.Copy !req
135. Yeah, I haven't
seen you since...Copy !req
136. You-you didn't come back
the next summer at camp.Copy !req
137. Oh, yeah, my mom made
me do mock trial,Copy !req
138. And then I did it the
next summer, so...Copy !req
139. You know, I'd always hope
I'd run into you one day.Copy !req
140. I mean, we had such a good
time that summer.Copy !req
141. Yeah.
Uh, you probably
don't even remember it.Copy !req
142. No, I remember some...Copy !req
143. I-I remember all of it, yeah.Copy !req
144. I remember all of it, yeah.Copy !req
145. Of course I do.Copy !req
146. Um, so, what?Copy !req
147. You live in new york?Copy !req
148. Yeah, the last eight months.Copy !req
149. Dude, we should...
We should hang out.Copy !req
150. Yeah.
Yeah.Copy !req
151. Actually, I'm moving.Copy !req
152. Oh, moving.Copy !req
153. Yeah, I've been trying to make
it work here in the big apple,Copy !req
154. And one day I realized,Copy !req
155. Why get stuck in a rat race?Copy !req
156. I mean, what's the point, right?Copy !req
157. And it's so awesome
back home.Copy !req
158. You know, so chill.Copy !req
159. So relaxed.Copy !req
160. Out there, everyone is,
you know, like...Copy !req
161. I don't know,
it's-it's like they're...Copy !req
162. Happy.Copy !req
163. Happy, happy.Copy !req
164. Happy.Copy !req
165. Where are you from again?Copy !req
166. West covina, california.Copy !req
167. 91791.Copy !req
168. West covina, I remember that.Copy !req
169. That's near the beach, right?Copy !req
170. Yeah, only two hours,
four in traffic.Copy !req
171. Just, you know,
I just like to kick back,Copy !req
172. Get beers with my buds,
skateboard.Copy !req
173. Oh, yes, skating
on boards, fun.Copy !req
174. Yeah.Copy !req
175. Man, if I'd known
you'd turn out to beCopy !req
176. So successful and hot...Copy !req
177. Let a good one get away, huh?Copy !req
178. Anyway.Copy !req
179. Uh, so take care.Copy !req
180. Yeah, yeah, let's-let's get a
drink... Oh, god, of course.Copy !req
181. Hello, you just said you're
moving— right, we can't, yeah.Copy !req
182. But, hey, if-if you're
ever out west...Copy !req
183. Yeah.Copy !req
184. Look me up, okay?Copy !req
185. Okay.
See you around.Copy !req
186. Okay, bye.Copy !req
187. So weird!Copy !req
188. Right? Right?Copy !req
189. Josh
Everyone is happy,
happy, happy.Copy !req
190. West covina, california. 91791.Copy !req
191. Rebecca, you are the hardest
working young lawyerCopy !req
192. We have ever seen.Copy !req
193. You work 24-7, you've
never taken a sick day.Copy !req
194. We know that this job
is your whole world.Copy !req
195. These are just some
of the reasonsCopy !req
196. That we'd like to offer you
the position of junior partner.Copy !req
197. Laura, you are so kind.Copy !req
198. Thank you.Copy !req
199. You know, time is a...
Time is a funny thing.Copy !req
200. Um...Copy !req
201. Sometimes... Time...
Itself tells youCopy !req
202. That... It's... Time to move on
to other moments in time.Copy !req
203. And when that time arrives,
you can't really predict it,Copy !req
204. You can't explain it,
you just have to obeyCopy !req
205. The ticking clock
that is destiny.Copy !req
206. And I think that
this is that time.Copy !req
207. What?Copy !req
208. Another opportunity
has knocked on my door.Copy !req
209. So I respectfully decline.Copy !req
210. I am so sorry.Copy !req
211. Is it another firm?Copy !req
212. It's best if we don't
talk about it. Good-bye.Copy !req
213. W-wait a minute,
just tell me.Copy !req
214. Is it cromwell?Copy !req
215. No, it's not new york.Copy !req
216. Okay, then boston.Copy !req
217. Chicago?Copy !req
218. No, laura.Copy !req
219. It's where dreams live.Copy !req
220. Good morning, sir.Copy !req
221. Please welcome destiny.Copy !req
222. Is he here? He's not here.
To be clear...Copy !req
223. Okay, how about now?
"that sounds great."Copy !req
224. No hablo inglés.Copy !req
225. Aw, you guys are good.Copy !req
226. Bye-bye.Copy !req
227. Sorry, kids, you can't
practice tuba anymore.Copy !req
228. No more band, give that back.
Hey, ma'am, nice dress.Copy !req
229. Only two hours from the beach.Copy !req
230. Yello!Copy !req
231. Rebecca, I just checked
the facebook.Copy !req
232. You moved to california?
What are you doing?Copy !req
233. I hope this isn't another stuntCopy !req
234. Like your little suicide attempt
in law school.Copy !req
235. You didn't even break your skinCopy !req
236. And you inconvenienced
a lot of people.Copy !req
237. Your aunt nancy was apoplectic.Copy !req
238. You know how sick
she is all the...Copy !req
239. I hope you don't mind,Copy !req
240. But I handed out
copies of your résumé.Copy !req
241. I mean, we are
just so honoredCopy !req
242. And, well,
confused, frankly,Copy !req
243. To have an attorney
of your caliber here.Copy !req
244. So... Darryl whitefeather.
Hmm.Copy !req
245. That's a really
interesting name.Copy !req
246. Well, I'm what they call
a full one-eighth.Copy !req
247. One-eighth chippewa.Copy !req
248. Oh.Copy !req
249. Those are my people.Copy !req
250. Wow.Copy !req
251. Everybody here calls me "chief."Copy !req
252. Okay. So I should
address you as "chief"?Copy !req
253. I wish you'd get it started,Copy !req
254. 'cause nobody's
really doing it...Copy !req
255. Okay, will do.
Thank you.Copy !req
256. Um, I have a question for you...
Chief.
Mm-mm.Copy !req
257. Uh, is there a problemCopy !req
258. With cell phone service
in west covina?Copy !req
259. Because I feel like my friend
is trying to get ahold of meCopy !req
260. Mm-hmm.
And nothing's coming through.Copy !req
261. No, we don't have anything—Copy !req
262. Well, I mean, I have sprint,Copy !req
263. And it's "the bomb."
ah.Copy !req
264. I'm sorry.
I have a kid, so...Copy !req
265. Oh, the b... Yeah.Copy !req
266. Yeah, but I'm getting a divorce.Copy !req
267. Sorry.Copy !req
268. Oh, I'm not.Copy !req
269. Hey-o! Come on.
Let me show you around.Copy !req
270. So, uh, you're
from new york.Copy !req
271. You know, I spent some
time in gotham myself.Copy !req
272. Yeah?
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
273. Uh, for about a week
after college with my buddies.Copy !req
274. We went to all
the best places.Copy !req
275. Hey, do they still have
that great pizza place...Copy !req
276. Oh, downtown...Copy !req
277. What was the name of it?Copy !req
278. D-something.Copy !req
279. Gosh, have you heard
of that one?Copy !req
280. D...Copy !req
281. Yeah. Uh-huh.Copy !req
282. Did you?
Oh, it's great.Copy !req
283. Oh, it's so good.Copy !req
284. And they fold it up
and it's thin crustCopy !req
285. And the sauce
and there's all the cheese.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
286. That's pizza. Yeah.Copy !req
287. You know, actually,
we have some great placesCopy !req
288. Right here in the cove.
Uh-huh.Copy !req
289. You know, there's, uh...Copy !req
290. A wine bar on foothillCopy !req
291. That has a killer riesling.
Uh-huh.Copy !req
292. It's actually called
jimmy's house of spirits.
Uh-huh.Copy !req
293. It's like a liquor store
and a wine bar.Copy !req
294. Also, in the restaurant
in the hilton,Copy !req
295. They have, um,
something called branzino.Copy !req
296. You ever heard
of branzino?Copy !req
297. Yes, I have.Copy !req
298. It's a fish.
I know.Copy !req
299. Really?
Yeah. Of course.Copy !req
300. 'cause I thought
it was a sandwich.Copy !req
301. Well, anyway, I'm just...Copy !req
302. I'm so excited to be hereCopy !req
303. And chillaxCopy !req
304. And just live that socal
sunny lifestyle, you know?Copy !req
305. Well, we are two hours
from the beach—Copy !req
306. Well, four in traffic.
So I hear.Copy !req
307. I feel like you and I
are gonna have a lot in common.Copy !req
308. And I'm not just talking
about the pizza and the fish.Copy !req
309. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
310. Oh, you know what?Copy !req
311. Until my business
cards come in,Copy !req
312. I'm gonna take
a few of these,Copy !req
313. In case anyone asks
what I'm doing in town.Copy !req
314. And I can show them
this and be like,Copy !req
315. "I have a job.
It's legitimate."Copy !req
316. Okay.
So this is
the kitchen.Copy !req
317. Did you see this résumé?Copy !req
318. Harvard? Yale?Copy !req
319. Special skills: Mandarin?Copy !req
320. Did she get this
out of a résumé book?Copy !req
321. What the hell is she doing here?Copy !req
322. Exactly.
It makes no sense.Copy !req
323. Uh, rebecca,
this is paula.Copy !req
324. Oh, hi!Copy !req
325. Are you my
assistant? Great.Copy !req
326. I am going to need
so much helpCopy !req
327. Setting up
my computer.Copy !req
328. I'm, like,
a total grandma.Copy !req
329. Uh, actually, paula is our,
um, head paralegal.Copy !req
330. Oh!
hello.Copy !req
331. Sorry. Hi.
Hi.Copy !req
332. Nice to
meet you.
Yeah.Copy !req
333. Two years of training,
six months of night schoolCopy !req
334. And 15 years of experience,
but...Copy !req
335. Never mind.Copy !req
336. Those are some great
knock-off louboutins.Copy !req
337. Yeah.
I know how to say it.Copy !req
338. Uh, actually, they are real.Copy !req
339. But I got them on sale.Copy !req
340. Lindsay lohan wears those.Copy !req
341. She's been to jail six times
and has fake hair.Copy !req
342. Did you know that?Copy !req
343. Everyone knows that, right,
mrs. Hernandez?Copy !req
344. Oh, I'm sorry.
That's mrs. Hernandez.Copy !req
345. She's our communications
director.Copy !req
346. Oh, great! Hi!Copy !req
347. So nice to meet you.Copy !req
348. Wow!Copy !req
349. Oh.
careful, there.Copy !req
350. She went to a "women
in business" seminarCopy !req
351. A couple of years ago,
came back with that death grip.Copy !req
352. So what, uh, brings you
to our lovely west covina?Copy !req
353. Just looking for change.Copy !req
354. You know?Copy !req
355. Yeah? No friends in town?Copy !req
356. A relative, or...?Copy !req
357. Uh... No.Copy !req
358. No.Copy !req
359. Okay.Copy !req
360. Yeah, yeah.
Okay.Copy !req
361. Okay.Copy !req
362. Pretty-pretty
simple.Copy !req
363. Here to start fresh.Copy !req
364. Well, yes, well, welcome aboard.Copy !req
365. Well, thank you, so much.Copy !req
366. And sorry about the mix-up,
again.Copy !req
367. No worries.
No, no.Copy !req
368. Total...
Fart brain.
Not a problem.Copy !req
369. Super happy
you're here.Copy !req
370. Like, senior year graduation
excited!Copy !req
371. yeah, yeah.Copy !req
372. "they're real.
Got them on sale."Copy !req
373. Who is this person?Copy !req
374. Wow.Copy !req
375. I, uh...Copy !req
376. Love all the wolf imagery.Copy !req
377. Yeah, I went to
a swap meet in gardenaCopy !req
378. And got all this.Copy !req
379. I keep the pelts at home
because they shed a little bit.Copy !req
380. Uh-huh.Copy !req
381. Okay...
Look, I wasn't
going to...Copy !req
382. Talk about this
out there, because, well,Copy !req
383. I mean, you know
how officesCopy !req
384. Can be, you know.Copy !req
385. It can be very gossipy.Copy !req
386. But I'm in the middle
of a divorce.Copy !req
387. Right. Yeah, you mentioned that.Copy !req
388. And my wife, well,Copy !req
389. She's got a very powerful
pit bull lawyer.Copy !req
390. I mean, this guy's amazing.Copy !req
391. One of those real smart
jewish guys.Copy !req
392. I'm sorry, I'm-I'm...
I'm jewish.Copy !req
393. Really?Copy !req
394. Yeah, but it's okay.Copy !req
395. I... I honestly had no idea.Copy !req
396. That is a tiny nose.Copy !req
397. It's like a button.Copy !req
398. Thank you.Copy !req
399. Look...Copy !req
400. I'm sorry.Copy !req
401. It's just that...Copy !req
402. I'm in kind of a bind here.Copy !req
403. Oh, geez.Copy !req
404. Oh, I didn't want
to do this.Copy !req
405. Um...Copy !req
406. Oh...
Um...Copy !req
407. I like the wolf
with the bandana.Copy !req
408. That's my favorite, too.Copy !req
409. I just can't lose her.Copy !req
410. I can't lose her.Copy !req
411. Darryl, uh...Copy !req
412. You know,
there's other fish in the sea.Copy !req
413. Right?Copy !req
414. It's not healthy to keep
fixating on one person.Copy !req
415. The relationship's over...Copy !req
416. I am not talking about my wife.Copy !req
417. I am talking about my daughter.Copy !req
418. My ex-wife is tryingCopy !req
419. To get madison away from me.
Huh?Copy !req
420. I want you to represent me
in my case.Copy !req
421. Oh...
No, you're right.Copy !req
422. I'm sorry. I...Copy !req
423. This is so inappropriate.Copy !req
424. Oh, jiminy christmas.Copy !req
425. I don't know what I'm doing.
Uh, look, darryl,Copy !req
426. I'm very flattered that-that
you asked me to represent you,Copy !req
427. But you know my specialty's
real estate law.Copy !req
428. I wouldn't be qualified...Copy !req
429. I know, but I just want
to see my wife's face.Copy !req
430. I mean, her jewCopy !req
431. Went to csu long beach.Copy !req
432. My jew?
Harvard and yale.Copy !req
433. Mmm?Copy !req
434. Can I think about it?Copy !req
435. I will think
about it, sincerely,Copy !req
436. Because I see that
you're a really good dad.Copy !req
437. But you know, that's why
I moved to west covina,Copy !req
438. To be with families who care.Copy !req
439. And I care, too.Copy !req
440. And I promise that I will
always be there for you.Copy !req
441. hold on one second.Copy !req
442. But right now, I got a thing.Copy !req
443. I'm gonna go
do this thing.Copy !req
444. Doesn't mean that I don't care,
I'm just gonna go do the thing.Copy !req
445. I will come back later...Copy !req
446. And let's circle back
about the jew thing.Copy !req
447. 'cause that's a conversation
that we need to have.Copy !req
448. The jew thing?Copy !req
449. Why did I say that?Copy !req
450. Curve-balling out about
five to ten miles per hour.Copy !req
451. Jerry murdoch steps in
against patterson.Copy !req
452. He hit two home runs
in the second inning,Copy !req
453. But down three now,
here in the bottom of the fifth.Copy !req
454. Are you lost?Copy !req
455. The wine bar's
over on foothill.Copy !req
456. I'm just here for some baseball.Copy !req
457. Sounds good.Copy !req
458. What can I get you?Copy !req
459. Beer, please.Copy !req
460. Any kind.Copy !req
461. You from around here?Copy !req
462. Never seen you before.Copy !req
463. I actually just moved
to town from new york.Copy !req
464. Seriously?Copy !req
465. I love new york.
What-what brings you here?Copy !req
466. Work and, um...Copy !req
467. I-I'm actually here
because I'm meeting a friend.Copy !req
468. But I don't...Copy !req
469. I don't see him.Copy !req
470. Great. Maybe I know him.Copy !req
471. Is he eight years old?
Or an alcoholic?Copy !req
472. 'cause that's what
we've got here.Copy !req
473. You're a good listener.Copy !req
474. Hmm?
Exactly.Copy !req
475. You know, a buddy of mine
just moved back from new york.Copy !req
476. Guy I grew up with.Copy !req
477. Really?
Yeah.Copy !req
478. But there's no way
you know him, right?Copy !req
479. It's a big city.Copy !req
480. I might.
What's his name?Copy !req
481. Josh chan.Copy !req
482. Oh, my god, are you kidding?Copy !req
483. That's crazy!
I... I know him!Copy !req
484. Seriously?
Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
485. That's crazy.
He was just here.Copy !req
486. You just missed him.Copy !req
487. That... That's
his beer.Copy !req
488. Ah!Copy !req
489. Mmm!Copy !req
490. Um, yeah.Copy !req
491. Oh, mmm...Copy !req
492. Um, it's actually
such a funny s-story.Copy !req
493. So, I was in new york,Copy !req
494. But I was looking
to relocate to los angelesCopy !req
495. Because I'm just,
I'm a beach gal.Copy !req
496. Uh, so I run into chan
and he tells meCopy !req
497. How great west covina is.Copy !req
498. And I'm like, okay,
filing it away, filing it away.Copy !req
499. But then, boom!Copy !req
500. That same day,
I get this rando callCopy !req
501. From a one-eighth chippewaCopy !req
502. Who's very prominent
in my field,Copy !req
503. Asking me to start
a position here.Copy !req
504. Crazy, right?Copy !req
505. Wait.Copy !req
506. So you left a job
in new yorkCopy !req
507. To live near
the beach?Copy !req
508. We're four hours
from the beach.Copy !req
509. People say two, but
those people are dumb.Copy !req
510. Yeah, but, like, you know,
it's such a great place.Copy !req
511. I mean, the motto is
"live, work, play."
we have a motto?Copy !req
512. Yes, on the web site.
We have a web site?Copy !req
513. It takes a few minutes to load,
but it's very informative.Copy !req
514. This is where I live.Copy !req
515. Yay for me.Copy !req
516. So, anyway, to go
back to my, um, story.Copy !req
517. Please do.
So I got hereCopy !req
518. And I reached out
to josh, but...Copy !req
519. He hasn't gotten back to me,Copy !req
520. So I don't if he-he dropped
his phone in the toilet,Copy !req
521. 'cause I did that onceCopy !req
522. And I was out of commission
for hours.Copy !req
523. So maybe he did that.Copy !req
524. Do you know where he went,
though?Copy !req
525. 'cause I'd love to, like...
No.Copy !req
526. No idea. He said
he was going out,Copy !req
527. But he didn't say where.Copy !req
528. Okay. Thanks.Copy !req
529. But I, uh... It's funny.Copy !req
530. I do know where
he's gonna be tomorrow night.Copy !req
531. Yeah?Copy !req
532. Yeah. This guy, beansCopy !req
533. —We call him that,
he's mexican—Copy !req
534. That sounds racist,
but he named himself thatCopy !req
535. And he kind of makes us call him
that; we don't want to.Copy !req
536. His actual name's bernard.
It doesn't matter.Copy !req
537. Anyway, he's having
a house party.Copy !req
538. It should be
a lot of fun and, um...Copy !req
539. Josh is going.Copy !req
540. And I'm going.Copy !req
541. Do you want to go?Copy !req
542. Yeah. Is there, like,Copy !req
543. A paperless post
that I should reply to?Copy !req
544. Why don't we...Copy !req
545. Why don't we just go together?Copy !req
546. Great, yeah.Copy !req
547. Okay, so, um...Copy !req
548. So you'll come to me, in a car?Copy !req
549. Yes, like... A date.Copy !req
550. Because you're pretty
and you're smartCopy !req
551. And you're ignoring me,
so you're obviously my type.Copy !req
552. I'm sorry.
What were you saying?Copy !req
553. Perfect.Copy !req
554. A party.Copy !req
555. Big party.Copy !req
556. Ooh!Copy !req
557. You were right
behind me.Copy !req
558. Yeah.
What's up?Copy !req
559. Uh, about the ramirez case:Copy !req
560. The judge refused
to grant the stay,Copy !req
561. So we present our arguments
on Wednesday.Copy !req
562. Well, that's swell,Copy !req
563. Because I'm really
good at arguing.Copy !req
564. Oh! Before I forget
to tell you, though,Copy !req
565. I do not like the judge
in that case.Copy !req
566. I want judge egan.
I did a little research.Copy !req
567. So what I need you to do
is petition the court.Copy !req
568. We will get judge eganCopy !req
569. And we will crush
that illegal water park.Copy !req
570. You're in a good mood today.Copy !req
571. Yeah, ever just have,
like, a great day?Copy !req
572. No.Copy !req
573. Really?Copy !req
574. That's, like, really sad.Copy !req
575. Okay.Copy !req
576. So...Copy !req
577. You mentioned you didn't know
anyone in town.Copy !req
578. No. Not a soul.Copy !req
579. Living or dead.Copy !req
580. Don't know no ghosts.Copy !req
581. Okay, stop.Copy !req
582. Something is wrong.Copy !req
583. I am not buying any of this.Copy !req
584. Okay, yeah, again,Copy !req
585. The reason that I'm here—Copy !req
586. 'cause you seem, like,
weirded outCopy !req
587. With my whole presence—Copy !req
588. Is because I moved hereCopy !req
589. 'cause I got a really great
offer from darryl.Copy !req
590. It's okay,
don't tell me the truth.Copy !req
591. In fact,Copy !req
592. Thank youCopy !req
593. For not telling
me the truth,Copy !req
594. Because I will figure it out.Copy !req
595. Ah!Copy !req
596. Now I have something fun to do.Copy !req
597. Okay, well,Copy !req
598. I'm glad that
this is really fun for you.Copy !req
599. Enjoy whatever you have
going on,Copy !req
600. And I'm gonna go
live my life.Copy !req
601. Computer voice:
Welcome, rebecca bunch.Copy !req
602. God, what...Copy !req
603. This is how you get ready?Copy !req
604. This is some...Copy !req
605. This is horrifying,Copy !req
606. Like a scary movie or something,Copy !req
607. Like some nasty-ass
patriarchal bull.Copy !req
608. You know what?Copy !req
609. I got to go apologize
to some bitches.Copy !req
610. I'm forever changed
after what I just seen.Copy !req
611. Wow, you-you look amazing.Copy !req
612. Oh, I totally just woke up
from a nap.Copy !req
613. So, I got acceptedCopy !req
614. To business school at emory.Copy !req
615. Mm-hmm.
Uh, and then my dad got sick.Copy !req
616. Um, my parents are divorced.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
617. So I...
Oh, uh, mine are divorced, too.Copy !req
618. Yeah, yeah, like,
they're really divorced.Copy !req
619. We're like peas in a pod.Copy !req
620. To broken people.Copy !req
621. To broken people.Copy !req
622. You know, it's so weird.Copy !req
623. I, like, haven't seen josh yet.Copy !req
624. What's...Copy !req
625. What's the deal
with you and josh?Copy !req
626. Because we've been talking
about him a lot.Copy !req
627. What? Come on.Copy !req
628. Dude, he's just...
You know, I told you.Copy !req
629. He's, like,
an old friend of mine.Copy !req
630. I just, like, I want to,
I want to see himCopy !req
631. And want to see him
and surprise him.Copy !req
632. You're sure?
Because if you were into him,
yeah.Copy !req
633. I would totally get it.
He's a good-looking guy.Copy !req
634. He's built like a brick house.Copy !req
635. Okay, uh-huh.
He knows magic.Copy !req
636. Okay, I'll shut up about that.Copy !req
637. Yeah.Copy !req
638. Hey.Copy !req
639. Do you want to go outside?Copy !req
640. Actually, um, I'm cold.
Let's go inside.Copy !req
641. I'm hungry. Are you hungry?Copy !req
642. Uh...Copy !req
643. Hey, is...Copy !req
644. Something wrong?Copy !req
645. No, no, no.Copy !req
646. Um, do you want
find a bedroom?Copy !req
647. No.Copy !req
648. I would not... Yes.Copy !req
649. Is this room okay?Copy !req
650. Yeah, it's fine.Copy !req
651. Is it okay
that josh isn't in here?Copy !req
652. Or...
Yeah, it's fine.Copy !req
653. oh.Copy !req
654. Ah, speak of the
handsome devil himself.Copy !req
655. Chan just texted.Copy !req
656. "not gonna come tonight."Copy !req
657. His girlfriend's making him go
to her sister's quinseñera.Copy !req
658. Sorry. Um...Copy !req
659. Josh has a girlfriend?Copy !req
660. Just 'cause facebook
says he's single.Copy !req
661. Okay, I'm getting
the josh vibe again.Copy !req
662. Maybe we should just
go back to the party.Copy !req
663. No, no, that's crazy.
Come-come here, crazy.Copy !req
664. Like, if you must know,
josh isn't my type.Copy !req
665. But, like, speaking of types,Copy !req
666. Like, what type's
his girlfriend?Copy !req
667. I should go.
No, no.Copy !req
668. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
669. Where you going?Copy !req
670. Where's the little boy going?Copy !req
671. Are you going anywhere now?Copy !req
672. No.
Okay, good.Copy !req
673. Is this, does this feel good?Copy !req
674. You really like
talking, don't you?Copy !req
675. Okay, I'll stop.Copy !req
676. I'll stop,
I'll stop, I'll stop.Copy !req
677. I'll stop talking. Shh, shh.
Shh, shh, I'll stop talking.Copy !req
678. But just, like,Copy !req
679. Circling back to josh for just,
like, a quick second.Copy !req
680. I know, I know,
just a quick second.Copy !req
681. Um, like, where did he,
where did he,Copy !req
682. Where'd he meet his girlfriend?Copy !req
683. Like, what's their,
what's their story?Copy !req
684. What's their deal?Copy !req
685. They dated in high school.Copy !req
686. He moved back to be with her.Copy !req
687. Oh.Copy !req
688. Got it.Copy !req
689. Okay, good.Copy !req
690. I'm so, I'm happy for him.Copy !req
691. He moved back here for her.Copy !req
692. It's like,
it's like the notebook.Copy !req
693. hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
694. I, uh,
what? What?Copy !req
695. I can't believe I'm doing this,
because I-I really...Copy !req
696. I really need this,Copy !req
697. But, um, I don't know much,Copy !req
698. But what I do know
is it's not goodCopy !req
699. To hook up with a crying girl.Copy !req
700. No, I'm not, I'm not,
I'm not crying.Copy !req
701. I'm not crying. I'm fine.Copy !req
702. No, you're not.Copy !req
703. Hey, whatever it is,Copy !req
704. I really don't think
you should be here.Copy !req
705. Come on.Copy !req
706. I'll drive you home.Copy !req
707. Okay. Are you sure?Copy !req
708. I can do that.
Yeah, yeah, no, hey.Copy !req
709. No, no, no, no, no.
You've done enough.Copy !req
710. Okay, okay.Copy !req
711. Huh?Copy !req
712. Um, what are you doing here?Copy !req
713. I just stopped in
to chat with you.Copy !req
714. Who's this?
You want to chat?Copy !req
715. Who are you?Copy !req
716. Um, greg, uh, paula.Copy !req
717. Paula, greg.
Hi there.Copy !req
718. You half italian?Copy !req
719. Uh, yeah?Copy !req
720. I can always tell.Copy !req
721. Okay, all right.Copy !req
722. I don't know what you're doing.Copy !req
723. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
We'll be back, greg.Copy !req
724. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'll ichat you or something.Copy !req
725. No, I'll just...Copy !req
726. I'll just wait here.Copy !req
727. Where are we... Is this
far enough from the house?
Come here.Copy !req
728. What are you doing here?Copy !req
729. You think you are
so much better than me, huh?Copy !req
730. Harvard? Yale?Copy !req
731. I am just as smart as you are,
miss snooty shoes.Copy !req
732. What are you talking about?Copy !req
733. I'm talking about josh.Copy !req
734. Chan.Copy !req
735. Yeah.Copy !req
736. Josh ch... Josh chan!Copy !req
737. Josh chan!
Okay, hey, hey, hey! Hey.Copy !req
738. What do you know about josh?
What do I know about josh?Copy !req
739. Uh, let's see, um,Copy !req
740. I know he lives in town,
which is weird,Copy !req
741. Because you told
you didn't know anyone here,Copy !req
742. And clearly,Copy !req
743. You know him,
because you checked his facebookCopy !req
744. 63 times todayCopy !req
745. And his instagram 18 times.Copy !req
746. Have you been going
through my computer?Copy !req
747. Yes, yes, I have.Copy !req
748. I could have you fired.Copy !req
749. Oh, you lied to me.Copy !req
750. I wasn't lying to you.
I wasn't under oathCopy !req
751. When I met you in the office.Copy !req
752. All right, you know what?Copy !req
753. Did someone shove a bible
under my hand?Copy !req
754. This is not the point.
The point isCopy !req
755. Whoever this josh chan is,Copy !req
756. You are,
you're obsessed with him.Copy !req
757. what?Copy !req
758. You love him,
you moved here for him,Copy !req
759. And you won't admit it. Why?Copy !req
760. Wow, okay. I do not love him.Copy !req
761. I barely know him.Copy !req
762. I dated him for two months
when I was 16 at a summer camp.Copy !req
763. So you're saying
that I moved hereCopy !req
764. From new york
and I left behind a jobCopy !req
765. That would've paid me
$545,000 a yearCopy !req
766. For a guy who still skateboards?Copy !req
767. I did not do that.Copy !req
768. Here's what happened.
I was in new york.Copy !req
769. I ran into josh.
He made me feel warm inside.Copy !req
770. Like glitter was exploding
inside me.Copy !req
771. Then I moved here.Copy !req
772. I did not move here
because of josh,Copy !req
773. Because that would be crazy,
and I am not crazy.Copy !req
774. Oh, my god.Copy !req
775. Oh, my god.Copy !req
776. No, I'm not crazy.Copy !req
777. I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy.Copy !req
778. Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god.
Okay, no, stop it.Copy !req
779. Oh, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my god, I'm crazy.Copy !req
780. Stop it. Listen.
Oh, my god, I'm crazy.Copy !req
781. No, no, no, no, I'm crazy.
Oh, my god, I'm crazy.
You're not crazy.Copy !req
782. You hear me, you're not crazy.
You're in love.Copy !req
783. And that is,
that is totally different.Copy !req
784. No, I'm not in love.
That would be stupid.
Hey, wait, whoa.Copy !req
785. You're not stupid.
That would make me stupid.Copy !req
786. You just should've told me.Copy !req
787. That's all. I-I-I'm just,Copy !req
788. I was busting your balls
'cause you lied to me.Copy !req
789. Okay, no...
No, no, no, no, no,
I'm crazy. I'm crazy.Copy !req
790. All right, this is going
down a road
I'm crazy and I'm irrationalCopy !req
791. That I am not...
And I'm everything
my mother said I was.Copy !req
792. Now stop it!Copy !req
793. Don't you talk about my friend
like that ever again.Copy !req
794. Do you hear me?Copy !req
795. We're friends?Copy !req
796. I would be proud
to be your friend,Copy !req
797. Now that I know the truth.Copy !req
798. What you did for love,
for true love,Copy !req
799. The sacrifices,Copy !req
800. The-the money
that you walked away from...Copy !req
801. Oh, god.
No, no, no, no, no. No.Copy !req
802. You're not crazy,
and you're not stupid.Copy !req
803. You know what you are?
You're brave.Copy !req
804. And I wish that I had beenCopy !req
805. As brave when I was your age.Copy !req
806. Okay, look,Copy !req
807. You want it to be a secret?
I get it.Copy !req
808. I will not tell a soul, okay?Copy !req
809. But-but I'm here now.Copy !req
810. Okay, you are not in this alone.Copy !req
811. And I will, I will help you.Copy !req
812. Let me help you,
'cause we can win this thing!Copy !req
813. We can win it.Copy !req
814. We can...Copy !req
815. We can win the whole thing.Copy !req
816. Okay?Copy !req
817. It doesn't matter, um...Copy !req
818. Because I just found out
that josh has a girlfriend.Copy !req
819. What?
No, it makes sense, because I
texted himCopy !req
820. 46 hours ago
and he hasn't gotten back to me,Copy !req
821. Because he's busy
with his girlfriend.Copy !req
822. No, no, no.Copy !req
823. His facebook status
says he's single,Copy !req
824. And if he was into her,
why would it say that?Copy !req
825. That's what I said.Copy !req
826. Exactly. All right.
This is why you need me.Copy !req
827. All right, look,Copy !req
828. If we play this right,
one day,Copy !req
829. It is gonna hit himCopy !req
830. Like a bag of nails
to the balls,Copy !req
831. And that day,Copy !req
832. He will text.Copy !req
833. Are you a witch?Copy !req
834. I-I can't.
I think I might faint.Copy !req
835. Just, I can't,
I can't, I can't.
Okay, hold on, no, no, no.Copy !req
836. I can't...Copy !req
837. What?
josh chan.Copy !req
838. Oh, god, oh, god.Copy !req
839. "want to grab dinner?"Copy !req
840. Smiley face.Copy !req
841. My god, is it really smiley?
There's a smiley face!Copy !req
842. You want to go drive
by his house?Copy !req
843. You know where he lives?Copy !req
844. This is gonna be
so much fun.Copy !req
845. Hey, denise.
It's me, nipsey hussle.Copy !req
846. I recently had
an eye-opening experience.Copy !req
847. I'm calling to apologize
for the way I treated youCopy !req
848. When you danced
in my recent music video.Copy !req
849. Denise, I'm sorry that
I showered you with cristal.Copy !req
850. I didn't even ask
if you liked champagne,Copy !req
851. And it probably messed up
your blow out.Copy !req
852. Ashley, I realize now
that it wasn't right for meCopy !req
853. To tell you what to do
with that big fat butt.Copy !req
854. You can wiggle it,Copy !req
855. Or you could sit it down
in a classroomCopy !req
856. And get that college degree
in communications.Copy !req
857. Chelsea, I'm sorry I put you in
a bikini made of gold coinsCopy !req
858. And then made you dance
on the roof of my bentley.Copy !req
859. I realize now
that metal conducts heatCopy !req
860. And that was probably a very
uncomfortable experience.Copy !req
861. Anyway, denise, hit me up
whenever you get this.Copy !req
862. I'd love to discuss
the second sexCopy !req
863. By simone de beauvoir,
which I just read.Copy !req
864. You are beautiful inside
as well as out.Copy !req
865. You are my equal.Copy !req
866. Fixed & Synced By MoUsTaFa ZaKiCopy !req