Cow and Chicken 1x4

Directed by David Feiss • Robert Alvarez

At the mall, Cow gets noticed by a fashion photographer from Vague Magazine. Her bovine looks become the latest fad.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Mama had a chicken.

2. Mama had a cow.

3. Dad was proud.

4. He didn't care how.

5. Cow.

6. Chicken.

7. Cow and chicken.

8. Well, hey, thanks a lot, cow.

9. You ate all the pork chips and I didn't get none.

10. I'll split this one with you.

11. Well, I guess it's better than a kick in the head.

12. That's it.

13. You kids are out of control.

14. Just look at what you've done.

15. What a mess!

16. You got that right.

17. We've got a real discipline here.

18. You kids are going to military school tonight.

19. It made men out of Mom and me.

20. Hello.

21. It's me, your drill sergeant.

22. Welcome to your new home.

23. On your feet, soldiers!

24. Oh, you disgust me, you pathetic weenie - off fatbags!

25. Especially you!

26. Fall in!

27. Just what do you call... Bow, soldier!

28. It's my adieu, sir.

29. Yeah, I bet.

30. Forward, march!

31. One-two, one-two, one-two, one-two!

32. Comfy?

33. Oh.

34. Do you think I forgot about you?

35. Better.

36. Oh, yes, thank you.

37. It's very... Shut your pie hole!

38. Not to worry.

39. I'll just take a little off the top.

40. Ah!

41. One-two, one-two...

42. One-two!

43. One-two!

44. One -two!

45. One-two!

46. I'd like some blueberry waffles, please.

47. I don't think I like this place, chicken.

48. I don't like it none either, cow.

49. Shut up and eat your veins and biscuits!

50. Wait!

51. Oh, disgusting!

52. Oh, our little buffet is now over!

53. Five and five and five is ten!

54. I'm gonna make you manly men.

55. Company, halt!

56. I want you gals to run through these tires.

57. All right, ladies, run!

58. Fire!

59. So, we're greeting a little Pooley today, are we?

60. Yes, sir!

61. Pooley, sir?

62. Wham, wham, wham!

63. Scare off!

64. Aah!

65. Aah!

66. Aah!

67. Aah!

68. Aah!

69. Aah!

70. Aah!

71. Aah!

72. That was pathetic!

73. All right, let's do it again with full battle gear and toiletries.

74. Yes, sir!

75. Thank you, sir.

76. May I have another, sir?

77. Thank you, sir.

78. May I have another, sir?

79. Thank you, sir!

80. Thank you, sir.

81. May we have another, sir?

82. Well, kids, how was military school?

83. Yes, sir!

84. Fine, sir!

85. Well, I hope you learned what it means to have discipline.

86. Shoes untied, jump and give me 50!

87. One-two, one-two, one-two, one-two, one-two!

88. Fall in for inspection!

89. Hi-hats!

90. Hi-hats!

91. Hi-hats!

92. Hey, ho!

93. Ha!

94. You call that kitchen clean?

95. Drop and give me 50!

96. My goodness!

97. What have our kids become?

98. Don't worry.

99. I think I know what to do.

100. Hello!

101. Welcome to sensitivity training.

102. I'm Mrs. Beaver, your personal sensitivity trainer.

103. Well then, let's get started, shall we?

104. Please, walk this way.

105. No, no, no, no, no!

106. Feel your feelings.

107. Nobody loves you.

108. And you never get to do what you want to do.

109. Oh!

110. Oh, that's wonderful!

111. And drift and float and drift and float and drift!

112. Pull and breathe!

113. Pull and breathe!

114. And dip and brush and dip and brush!

115. Oh, display legs!

116. Lather!

117. Shave!

118. And towel off!

119. Yes!

120. Well, kids, how does it feel to be back home?

121. Oh, my, oh, my!

122. This shall never do!

123. Oh, my!

124. What have we done to our children?

125. I just had a terrible dream!

126. Cow and chicken were too tough.

127. And then they were too soft.

128. Yes, I had the same dream.

129. That must have been one of those shared dreams.

130. Shared dreams!

131. Yes!

132. Oh, well, thank goodness they're just right.

133. Clang, clang, clang went the trotty.

134. Ding, ding, ding went the bell.

135. Zing, zing, zing went my heart strings.

136. From the moment I saw him, I fell.

137. End.

138. Yeah.

139. Oh, yeah, use that feather.

140. Oh, yeah.

141. Mom, Dad, my feathers is falling out!

142. Mom, looks like our son has started molting.

143. Oh.

144. He's becoming a man.

145. Well, the next thing you know he'll be shaving his waddle!

146. They grow up so fast!

147. Now, now, it's not that bad.

148. Remember when Cow lost her baby teeth?

149. Oh, yeah.

150. How could I forget that?

151. She looked like a... idiot.

152. Yeah, but then she put them under her pillow.

153. And.

154. gave me a dollar for each tooth.

155. A buck a tooth!

156. Man, that is good dough.

157. Maybe if you put your feathers under your pillow,

158. the molting fairy will pay you a visit tonight.

159. Oh, a buck for each feather.

160. I will be rich!

161. Oh, yes, there's one over here, one over there, one...

162. One plus one plus one... Don't hold it!

163. Plus two.

164. One, two, three, four, five... Yeah, another dollar...

165. Wanna play roll, chicken up in the mattress?

166. No, I do not choose to play no stupid cow game.

167. This mess of feathers adds up to be worth seven hundred of dollars and no cents!

168. Pillow, there.

169. Now I will treat my good pals Flim and Earl to the carnival.

170. Oh, Mom says never go to the carnival naked.

171. Oh, jeez.

172. Oh, Mom, don't.

173. I did say that.

174. Dad!

175. Dad!

176. Can I wear some of your clothes?

177. Why, sure, son.

178. Come on, chicken!

179. Hold your horses!

180. Ahem.

181. I am soon to come into a large fortune, ticket woman.

182. Please accept my I.O.U.

183. for I and my companions.

184. Yeah, I got a chicken here dressed in a sock.

185. Once credit.

186. Ahem.

187. Ahem.

188. It's your carnival.

189. Here you are, boys.

190. Three general admission.

191. Whoa.

192. This I.O.U.

193. system is terrific.

194. Let's get cotton-candied meat.

195. And for you, pal.

196. Allow me to help myself.

197. Oh!

198. Oh!

199. Oh!

200. Oh!

201. Oh!

202. Oh!

203. Oh!

204. Oh!

205. Oh!

206. Oh!

207. You busted my meat machine.

208. No problem, sir.

209. Just hold my I.O.U.

210. till tomorrow.

211. And you will be paid in full.

212. Hey, phlegm.

213. Hey, Earl.

214. Watch this.

215. I can steer with my eyeballs.

216. Left, right, spin.

217. Oh!

218. Ah!

219. Ah!

220. Ah!

221. Ah!

222. Ah!

223. Ah!

224. Ah!

225. Here's an I.O.U.

226. I'll pay you tomorrow when I'm rolling in the dough.

227. Ice cream, please.

228. What flavor?

229. All.

230. You want all flavors?

231. But we have 5,000 flavors.

232. Chocolate, strawberry, rocky road, asphalt road,

233. dirt road, road to ruin road, apple Meadow muffin.

234. Read my beak, pal.

235. We want all your ice cream.

236. Here's my ice cream.

237. I owe you.

238. Hmm?

239. Yeah.

240. Now for the big payoff.

241. Where is that molting fairy?

242. It's almost today.

243. Feathers in my sack.

244. My name is Larry.

245. Feathers make me glad.

246. Cause I'm the molting fairy.

247. Hey, fairy.

248. Where's my dough?

249. Oh!

250. I'm so embarrassed.

251. I completely forgot.

252. Oh!

253. Oh!

254. Oh my God!

255. Got change for a dollar.

256. A dollar?

257. I want 700 dollars.

258. Well, you'll never get 700 bills from me, chicken.

259. Now my brother could maybe leave you that kind of cash.

260. Him being the scab fairy and all.

261. Got me scabs!

262. They could be worth gold.

263. Gotta go!

264. Scabs are calling!

265. Buh-bye, chicken!

266. Remember to put your scabs under your pillow!

267. Oh!

268. Oh!

269. Oh!

270. Oh!

271. In lieu of actual money, I am prepared to repay you all with extremely valuable...

272. feathers?

273. Did he say feathers?

274. Yes, feathers.

275. Anybody got any hot boiling glue?

276. Right here.

277. Me too!

278. Let's get it!

279. Chicken,

280. who are those grown men and women coming out of your room carrying boiling glue pots?

281. Friends of yours?

282. Oh yeah, my best buds.

283. Ouch!

284. That's gonna cause a scab!

285. Scab?

286. Oh, I'm gonna be rich!

287. Rich!

288. Rich!

289. Rich!

290. Rich!

291. Dad!

292. Dad!

293. You better call an ambulance.

294. And...

295. You must be this tall to ride.

296. Aw dang, I'm too short!

297. Oh, this is great!

298. Right, Chicken?

299. Yeah, great!

300. I'm having the time of my life!

301. You don't need pants for the victory dance.

302. I am Weasel!

303. I am Weasel!

304. I am Weasel!

305. I am Weasel!

306. I are Gentleman's.

307. Ah, him.

308. Very good.

309. Classy.

310. Eureka!

311. My worldwide genealogical search has finally located my

312. great-great-great-great -great - grandpa, Weasel the Great!

313. He later died.

314. Incoming message.

315. Hello?

316. Hello?

317. Am I transmitting?

318. Queen of Europe calling I am Weasel.

319. Do you read me?

320. Your Majesty.

321. Why are you calling me from the royal... I... you... Commode.

322. Yes, well, Europe is a poor country, you see.

323. So we combine our technologies whenever we can.

324. Fair enough.

325. What seems to be the problem?

326. Okay.

327. Well, ah, Mr. Weasel, I have a bit of a problem which

328. requires your expertise in the field of genealogy.

329. Our Duke of Cankerberry has up and died, you see,

330. and we must find a suitable heir to his estate.

331. We have reason to believe that a long-lost Cankerberry may be living in America.

332. Oh, pardon him, Your Majesty, but aren't you through yet?

333. You are not the only one in the palace who has died.

334. You need to transmit, you know.

335. Keep your pants on.

336. Yeah, I'm almost through.

337. I shall locate your Cankerberry, Your Majesty, and deliver him to Europe myself.

338. Oh, thank you, thank you.

339. Au revoir, mon Kiki.

340. Let's see.

341. Cankerberry.

342. Whoa.

343. Close that eyes.

344. Misshapen ears.

345. Enormous nose.

346. Rotten teeth.

347. Yep, he's a royal, all right.

348. I ha moved horsey to stomp on castle thingy.

349. I ha make checkmate on king of I ha.

350. Checkmate, checkmate.

351. I ha beat I ha.

352. I ha beat I ha.

353. Like that.

354. I'm here to take you to Europe.

355. You are a descendant of royalty.

356. I ha royalty?

357. Fortune cookie was right.

358. I inspecting you long time.

359. Well, then, let's be off.

360. I ha sorry.

361. I not offering any for you.

362. I see we have some work to do.

363. And I know just the place.

364. My European summer house.

365. Let's begin with basic table manners.

366. Behold, the salad fork.

367. Monsieur Baboon.

368. Monsieur Baboon!

369. Stop right there!

370. Let's review.

371. I sorry.

372. But I ha hungry.

373. Yes, of course.

374. But we must learn to be gentleman about it.

375. I ha always wanted to be gentlemans.

376. Then let's begin again.

377. Fork.

378. Fork.

379. Say it.

380. Fork.

381. By Jove.

382. I think you've got it.

383. I ha got it!

384. I ha got it!

385. I ha get the mans.

386. What Jove?

387. Never mind.

388. We are on a roll.

389. Monsieur Baboon, I dub thee Duke of Cankerberry.

390. Now get to work.

391. I'm afraid your uncle left this world owing a substantial debt, which you,

392. the new Cankerberry, must now repay.

393. You may begin by cleaning the royal transmitter.

394. Guards!

395. Take him away!

396. I are gentlemans!

397. Not fair!

398. I'm gentlemans!

399. No!

400. Wait!

401. I am...

402. I'm a lawyer.

403. And a perfect gentleman.

404. Shine it up now.

405. I want to see my reflection when I... transmit.

406. I am gentlemans too!