1. We interrupt this program to bring you
Courage the Cowardly Dog Show.
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2. Starring Courage the Cowardly Dog.
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3. Abandoned as a pup...
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4. he was found by Muriel,
who lives in the middle of Nowhere...
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5. with her husband, Eustace Bagge.
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6. ANNOUNCER'.
But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.
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7. It's up to Courage to save his new home.
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8. Stupid dog! You made me look bad.
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9. Oh!
Ahh!
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10. I think you hit something, or someone.
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11. Oh. "W"
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12. Hello.
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13. Are we okay?
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14. But for the fractured thorax,
the ruptured rostrum...
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15. and the treaded forewing...
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16. not to mention a nasty swelling
in most of my ankles, I'm fine.
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17. We'd better take you home
and make sure you're okay.
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18. We live just up the road.
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19. Muriel. Muriel. Get your food-making mitts
back into this truck and let's go home.
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20. I was just going to make dinner.
Why don't you join us?
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21. I don't want to impose,
although I am feeling a tad peaked.
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22. I'm a weevil, actually.
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23. A Jeeves weevil.
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24. I've never heard of a Jeeves weevil.
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25. Commonly known as the butler bug, madam.
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26. We live to serve.
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27. Allow me.
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28. Oh, gracious me. Thanks.
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29. I'm not used ta such treatment.
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30. My dear lady, you should be primped,
plumped and pampered daily.
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31. Oh! Oh, my. Heh-heh.
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32. Awn, blah, blah.
Whoever's serving pie, serve pie.
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33. A hard-working man such as yourself
deserves the biggest piece of the pie.
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34. Awn, blah, bla— Eh?
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35. Yeah, that's right.
Bug's gut a good head an his—
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36. Whatever he's gut there under his head.
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37. Mr. Weevil, would you like some watermelon
with your pie?
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38. Watermelon? Thank you. Yes.
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39. Oh, goodness me.
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40. I must have been hungrier than I thought.
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41. You're good. Aw!
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42. Oh, yeah. Mammy.
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43. I haven't felt this relaxed in years.
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44. A hard-working gentleman
such as yourself...
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45. needn't suffer the slings and arrows
of aches and pains.
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46. You're all right, but...
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47. I could use a nap.
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48. Yeah. Och.
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49. Relaxed.
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50. Stupid dog.
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51. I'll take in his trousers.
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52. Ida say, I'm quite nimble with the thimble.
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53. I studied at the Tailoring Academy
at Stitch-an-Thyme.
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54. My lady, I've drawn you a bath.
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55. I tank the liberty of adding aromatherapy ails
and mineral salts...
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56. fresh from Madagascar and the Nile Valley.
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57. It's like going to a spa.
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58. Whatever can we data repay you
for such a wonderful treatment...
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59. especially after we hit you with our truck?
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60. Your happiness is all the thanks I need.
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61. Well, at least spend the night.
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62. I don't want to impose...
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63. although I am feeling a mite weary.
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64. Courage, that lovely bath gut me very sleepy.
Let's talk in the morning.
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65. Oh, no.
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66. Hey, what's to eat?
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67. Eustace, you don't look so well.
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68. Maybe you should go outside
for some fresh air.
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69. Now, Courage, no need to worry.
You'll have your turn.
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70. I'm sorry, my lady, but I don't do dog.
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71. Phew.
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72. You call an exterminator?
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73. That's the way, sugar.
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74. Lave the camera. It loves you.
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75. Give me the pout.
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76. Look, Courage, I'm a supermodel.
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77. COURAGE'.
Mm-mm.
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78. Och.
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79. Oh!
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80. New, Courage, that's not very civilized.
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81. Quite right.
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82. If you have an issue with my behavior...
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83. may I suggest we settle this like gentlemen?
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84. Mm-hm.
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85. Okay. In this competition, we'll find out
who can ingest the mast awful fond.
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86. But I warn you, I'm an expert
at eating foul stuff, you know.
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87. Studied at the Bad Taste Academy
at Mold-on-Crumpet.
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88. Okay, then, let's start with bailed broccoli,
shall we?
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89. Oh!
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90. Phew.
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91. New old, rancid, bailed broccoli.
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92. Old, rancid, boiled broccoli
that I've had between my toes for a week.
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93. Oh!
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94. Goad spurt, old dog.
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95. But we all can't be winners.
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96. Looks as if I'm staying.
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97. And I do feel that I have roam...
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98. far a little dessert.
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99. Stupid dog.
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100. Oh!
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101. Yes!
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102. Mmm-mmm.
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103. I had no idea haw thin I'd gotten.
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104. I couldn't eat another bite.
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105. Thanks for nursing me back
to me old self again.
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106. And you had such a good idea,
using Eustace as soil.
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107. I just hope he grows back to his old self.
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108. I'm hungry. Where's that pie-serving weevil?
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109. Hung“!-
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110. Arms in, shoulders back,
bend aver backwards.
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111. Aw. The power of doing housework.
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112. Eustace.
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113. Uh... Sorry. You had the pile upside dawn.
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114. Arms in, shoulders back,
bend aver backwards.
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115. Arms in...
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116. "Shoulders back,
bend aver backwards.
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117. Muriel, you folded me clothes tan tight.
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118. What are you trying to data me?
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119. I didn't do anything different.
Just the usual wash and fluff and fold.
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120. Must be the new detergent I'm using.
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121. Beautiful.
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122. A good shine can make an old woman
look young again.
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123. Ain't nothing gonna
make you look young again...
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124. so just give me my shoes.
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125. Here you are, crabby.
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126. Eh. Who needs them polished anyway?
Just gonna get scuffed.
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127. Stupid as showering.
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128. Muriel, what are you trying to data me?
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129. Next time you wanna blow up my shoes,
take them out back.
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130. But I shined them just like always.
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131. Maybe they changed
the shoe-polish formula.
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132. There it is for you, Eustace.
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133. I steamed it and blocked it, like always.
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134. Thanks.
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135. Must be something new
they're putting in the steam.
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136. I ain't eating your fond.
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137. What are you saying, Eustace?
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138. I'm saying that after I've been folded,
blown up and eaten by chickens...
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139. I gotta think you got something
against me.
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140. I'd never do anything bad to you, Eustace.
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141. What do you call this?
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142. Can't feel safe in your awn home anymore.
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143. You don't think I'm doing anything mean
to Eustace, do you, Courage?
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144. Mm-mm.
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145. I don't know, Ma.
I think she's angry at me or something.
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146. I don't know why. I am the perfect husband.
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147. Oh!
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148. Gotta go now.
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149. Eustace, are you okay?
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150. Nope. You probably loosened the chandelier
when you were dusting it...
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151. so it would fall on me head.
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152. Don't be daft.
We don't even awn a chandelier.
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153. You must've hung it up
while I was talking an the phone.
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154. Well, I never.
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155. - Ma.
- I gut me a mail-order degree...
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156. in psychology therapy.
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157. And I'm gonna help you
and what's-her-name...
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158. work out your problems, you stupid boy.
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159. Time for therapy.
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160. Let's get this marriage off the racks
and out to sea.
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161. - Haw much is three plus seven?
- Huh?
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162. - Why is the sky blue?
- Excuse me?
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163. Your marriage is dead as dust.
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164. Make sure you keep the house,
because I gotta move out of that trailer.
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165. You shouldn't came into my home
and upset things like this.
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166. That's it. I'm gonna go sit in my truck
where it's safe.
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167. There's something very strange
going on around here.
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168. Whatever you're up to, it ain't gonna work,
unless you cut me in for half.
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169. Came an, Courage.
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170. We've gut better things ta do
than listen ta such nonsense.
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171. Something very, very strange
going on around here.
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172. Same therapist she is.
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173. If only we had someone here
who could really help.
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174. Mm.
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175. You want to be a licensed therapist?
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176. A twit like you?
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177. Okay, don't get testy.
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178. I happen to be certified to certify.
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179. Just answer these questions
and you'll have your license.
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180. Mm-hm.
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181. How do you spell,
“Our time is up, pay me lots of money“?
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182. There's no Q in Cincinnati. Twerp.
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183. Next question.
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184. If Johnny has three apples
and Davey has two apples...
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185. why don't they just shut up and eat?
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186. Don't be shouting in me ear.
We're after the same thing.
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187. Yeah? Se, what's your game, flimsy?
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188. I am the Widow McPhearson
came back from the great beyond...
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189. ta destroy the marriage of the plump one.
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190. I just came back from the trailer park.
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191. I'm getting revenge...
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192. because the plump one's great-great-aunt
ruined my marriage...
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193. by feeding my husband
to the Loch Ness Munster.
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194. That'll bust up a marriage pretty good.
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195. That it'll do. And that's why I've came...
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196. ta make the farmer think
that his wife is trying ta do him in.
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197. Me tan.
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198. Yeah. Fun, isn't it?
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199. Congratulations.
You are now a fully licensed therapist.
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200. Word of advice.
Just keep nodding and don't say anything.
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201. And so Western civilization crumbles.
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202. Mmm.
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203. - Why...?
- Oh, my.
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204. I see a beautiful butterfly...
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205. who only wants
to make her husband happy.
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206. I see a woman hitting a guy an the head
with a frying pan.
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207. Then I'll put steel weal in his underwear.
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208. How do you feel about a big hungry snake
coming out of his toothpaste tube?
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209. You, I like.
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210. How could you think
I would ever try to hurt you?
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211. Mm-hm.
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212. Okay, so we gut the lobsters,
the steel weal, the snake.
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213. We need anything else?
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214. I can conjure tiny, fingernail-eating termites.
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215. Let's put them in his snap.
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216. - Stupid bay.
- Stupid bay.
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217. I guess it all started with me mam.
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218. She never liked me.
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219. Mm-hm.
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220. Great. His fingers explode.
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221. Then he'll have to kick her out.
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222. Okay, Muriel, I'll give you another chance.
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223. I'm so glad.
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224. Wait. I sense a disturbance in the farce.
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225. Thank you, Dr. Courage.
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226. You're a brilliant therapist, you are.
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227. 'Fay!
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228. Pathetic.
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229. Eustace, you stupid bay.
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230. I'm the only therapist operating here.
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231. Kick her out. She's no good for you.
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232. - You don't know what you're saying.
- Yeah? I suppose you like the lobsters...
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233. - ... she stuck in your pants.
- What?
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234. Ooh!
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235. It ain't me, Eustace. I'm not doing this.
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236. Courage, you stupid dog.
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237. Get away from there.
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238. MA:
Get the dog.
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239. I see a bitter old woman with a bad wig
who's in a lat of pain.
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240. It all started out years ago
with my mother's mother's Auntie Grizelda.
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241. She was a cruel woman,
made us all miserable.
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242. She once even threw some guy
into the Loch Ness.
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243. The monster ate him.
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244. Stupid bay.
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245. It was your great-great-aunt,
not the chubby one's?
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246. That's right. New, leave me alone.
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247. I'm getting therapy, you stupid ghost.
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248. Uh-oh.
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249. Sorry, our time is up. Here's my bill.
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250. I feel so inadequate.
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251. The tea's tan hat.
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252. What are you trying to do,
burn me lips off me face?
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253. And my shoes, they're smudged.
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254. Can't you polish them right? Oh!
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255. Goad to have everything back to normal,
isn't it?
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256. Stupid dog.
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