Comrade Detective 1x4

1. I believe in Romania.

2. Romania is the land where I was born.

3. Where I met my wife.

4. Where I raised my family.

5. It is in Romania that I found opportunity.

6. That is why, when we travel

7. outside the borders of our great nation,

8. we must wear the red, yellow and blue with pride.

9. And we also must remember we are not in Bucharest anymore.

10. We are in a very, very dangerous land.

11. A land in which the deepest recesses

12. of a man's capacity for evil are encouraged and exploited.

13. A land called New York City.

14. So.

15. Joseph, Nikita, while we are here,

16. much like the foundation on which

17. we live our lives, we must look out for one another.

18. If you need anything, just bang on the wall, and I will come.

19. But do not leave this room.

20. Should you leave,

21. there's a good chance you will never come back.

22. Now get some rest,

23. because come tomorrow morning, we wrestle.

24. - Uh, Nikita, what are you doing?

25. Mm, do you mean, "What are we doing?"

26. - We are going out. - Are you crazy? You heard Coach.

27. If we go out, we may never come back.

28. Come on, Joseph.

29. Do you remember the awesome time we had in Moscow?

30. Or the fun we had in Hanoi, Beijing?

31. But we're in the West now.

32. Yeah. So what?

33. Western girls have tits, too. Come on.

34. - I'll prove it to you. - Oh, no.

35. We're in the world capitol of kidnapping, rape and murder.

36. - You know this, right? - Nah.

37. Wait. Nikita.

38. - Coming?

39. - Come on, baby.

40. Oh, man.

41. Hey, hey.

42. - Nikita, wait! - SEE YOU DOWN THERE.

43. Hey. - Oh, man.

44. Where you going?

45. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

46. Who the hell is this guy?

47. Come on. Come on. Whoa.

48. Hey, where are you going?

49. Oh. Excuse me.

50. Hey.

51. Hey.

52. Nikita.

53. Mm-hmm.

54. I don't like walking.

55. Nikita, what are you doing?

56. Get a fucking job, kid.

57. You owe me money, you asshole. My AIDS!

58. My contagious AIDS.

59. - Get your hands off me.

60. I'll get you the money.

61. Oh! That's your baby. Fuck you, Hank.

62. Give me your fucking shoes, motherfucker.

63. I said give me your fucking shoes.

64. Welcome to America, you little pinkos.

65. My contagious AIDS!

66. It's okay. It's just me.

67. Go home, Sonya, get some rest. I'll stay.

68. Gregor, if you want to help Joseph,

69. then find the man who did this.

70. This case is a maze.

71. There's a dead end at every turn.

72. When Joseph is handling a difficult case,

73. he talks through it with me.

74. I mean, yeah, I appreciate that, but the elements involved here

75. are... dark.

76. Excuse me, Gregor,

77. but don't we preach equality between the sexes?

78. Of course, of course. But this case...

79. I'm a grown woman.

80. - A mother, a wife. - Mm-hmm.

81. And there's a chance that in a day or two, I may be a widow.

82. So trust me, I think I can handle it.

83. Well, the killer is from America.

84. Or at least influenced by the West.

85. We think he's smuggling in Western paraphernalia,

86. but we don't know to what end.

87. In fact, we, we don't know anything.

88. Just that he's dangerous.

89. And has an ideological agenda.

90. Did you know that Joseph and Nikita had traveled to the West?

91. They spent three days in New York City.

92. He mentioned it.

93. That city haunts his dreams.

94. Some nights, he wakes up sobbing,

95. and other nights, he just lies there, numb.

96. I can only imagine what he saw.

97. Learn about the West, Gregor.

98. Find out what terrified Joseph so much.

99. Perhaps it will bring you a step closer to finding the killer.

100. Hmm.

101. I have earned everything I've got.

102. He's coming for you, detectives.

103. God bless America.

104. Why?

105. Why have you brought us here?

106. I want my MTV.

107. I want my MTV.

108. It's morning in America.

109. Now, Papa.

110. Have a nice day.

111. Wall Street. Supply and demand.

112. - Take off the mask! - God bless America.

113. SONYA/FLAVIA/ANDREI: God bless America.

114. The doctor said you can hear us, Joseph?

115. The children came to sing you a song.

116. Daddy.

117. Welcome back, my love.

118. The mystery of Nikita's killer

119. is confounding to us

120. because nothing seems to make sense.

121. Problem... we're thinking like Romanians,

122. and we should be looking at this situation

123. from the other side, through the prism of the American.

124. The United States was founded in 1776

125. by a bunch of rich, greedy, white men

126. who didn't want to pay their taxes.

127. For these people, money is the only thing that matters.

128. Ivan Blago.

129. He's the first piece of the equation.

130. He runs an underground casino, filling

131. our citizens with dreams of easy riches.

132. He carries a Monopoly board game,

133. a symbol of putrid capitalism.

134. The money.

135. As the United States grows, it's profiting off slavery,

136. off the working poor,

137. off immigrants.

138. They even put their own children to work.

139. And how do they justify these atrocities?

140. One word...

141. God.

142. They justify every awful thing they do with the word of God,

143. which brings us to our missing friend, Father Streza,

144. who's been contaminating minds

145. by spreading religion in his underground church.

146. Handing out bibles like candy.

147. And after all, what poison is more toxic

148. than organized religion?

149. And last, but not least,

150. we have the killer himself, disguised as Ronald Reagan.

151. Now, who is Ronald Reagan?

152. The President of the United States.

153. He was also the governor.

154. Yeah, those are his jobs,

155. but who is Ronald Reagan at his core?

156. Who is he really?

157. Ronald Reagan is an actor.

158. - Joseph. Hey, Joseph.

159. - Hey. - Good to see you.

160. - Thought you... Good to see you.

161. Please, don't let me interrupt.

162. Ronald Reagan is an actor.

163. A celebrity.

164. They see him on television.

165. The third step of indoctrination is...

166. propaganda.

167. Propaganda through popular culture.

168. Now, if I'm correct, this mystery girl,

169. whose identity we can't determine,

170. has been recruited into the propaganda phase

171. of our killer's plan.

172. - Look for an actress. What?

173. An actress or anyone who works in the arts

174. that fits her description.

175. Tatyana Popescu.

176. Theater student with a concentration in acting.

177. She lives with her aunt, and get this, four months ago,

178. she calls her aunt, tells her she's gonna be working late

179. and she never comes home.

180. She's been missing ever since.

181. This is some really good police work, Gregor.

182. Are you sure you're okay?

183. - Watch your back, ladder coming through. - Oh.

184. Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks.

185. Come on. Let's see where Miss Tatyana Popescu worked.

186. This is it.

187. This is where she was working the night she went missing.

188. Battleship Potemkin.

189. I hear this movie's good.

190. Supposed to be really good.

191. Really? Where'd you hear that?

192. The Business of Business?

193. - What happened to Eisenstein?

194. Come inside.

195. Hello, Todd.

196. I came as soon as I could.

197. I saw you called me on my phone

198. that I carry with me at all times.

199. Thank you for meeting me in the penthouse suite

200. of this luxurious...

201. That's Tatyana Popescu.

202. That's her.

203. Oh, I don't mind working on my weekend day off.

204. We need to complete the merger paperwork for our two companies.

205. Your company's profits are big.

206. Yes, our employees spend their holiday in Miami Beach, Florida.

207. I have no idea what's going on.

208. Seems to be some type of American propaganda film.

209. We have a deal then?

210. Let's shake on it.

211. I completely lost the plot.

212. Do you realize that we've just made a million dollars?

213. Whatever are we going to do with the rest of our weekend now?

214. Mm.

215. I can think of another merger.

216. This is disgusting.

217. Had a lot of fun today.

218. I must fly first class to Hong Kong.

219. Turn that shit off.

220. Huh? Oh, oh, whoa. Hey, you can't...

221. Bucharest PD!

222. Let's get out of here, man.

223. Which one of you wants to spend the night in jail?

224. Ugh, fuck!

225. What can you tell us about her?

226. - Never seen her before. Never seen her before?

227. 30 seconds ago you were jerking off to her, asshole.

228. She worked here

229. and now she's missing.

230. Ow!

231. Talk or you'll be pissing blood for the next year.

232. Fuck you!

233. All right, Gregor, that's enough.

234. Please, we need your help.

235. Fuck off. You don't think I know what you're doing?

236. Huh?

237. What are we doing?

238. Good cop, bad cop routine.

239. Fuck you, good cop.

240. I'm not talking, so let bad cop do his worst.

241. Oh, I'm sorry. We gave you the impression

242. that my partner here was the bad cop?

243. That was incorrect.

244. See, the good cop wouldn't have sliced your femoral artery

245. so that you'd bleed to death

246. without expeditious medical attention.

247. But I'm not the good cop.

248. I'm the very, very bad cop.

249. And you're about to die.

250. Lucky for you, good cop here will treat your wound

251. with a lifesaving tourniquet.

252. Fuck!

253. Be careful, you stupid idiot!

254. You better start talking before my partner makes me loosen that.

255. Tell us about the girl. - I don't know, man.

256. She worked here and one day she stopped coming in.

257. Next thing I know, she started showing up in these movies.

258. And who's making these movies?

259. Bubescu. Petre Bubescu.

260. Is he a filmmaker?

261. He thinks he's a filmmaker.

262. Calls himself an artist, but he's really just a pimp.

263. How do we find him?

264. He's got a big house in the hills.

265. Bigger than a piece of shit like you'll ever have.

266. Throws lots of big parties there,

267. got lots of drugs and girls.

268. I was seeing a chick who went to one of these parties,

269. said the dude was into some sick shit.

270. I don't know.

271. And this pimp, Petre Bubescu,

272. we're gonna need an introduction.

273. Fuck.

274. Petre Bubescu.

275. His secret police file has mysteriously gone missing.

276. Here's what we've been able to piece together.

277. He showed up in the downtown theater scene,

278. rubbing elbows with the literati.

279. Sounds like he had more ambition than talent.

280. Started pimping in order to pay for his productions.

281. Remains unrecognized in the theater,

282. but makes a name for himself as a pimp.

283. Then, three years ago...

284. And this is where things get interesting.

285. he disappears.

286. Some swore that he'd run off to the West

287. where his artistic genius would be recognized,

288. while those closest to him assumed his failure as an artist

289. led to suicide.

290. No such luck.

291. Tipsy.

292. He popped up again a year ago...

293. producing propaganda films inspired by the West.

294. Popular on the black market.

295. Tipsy tracked his name in connection

296. to a small state-sponsored trucking business.

297. Tipsy.

298. Detective Anghel and I will go undercover.

299. We'll pose as black marketeers,

300. peddling Western soft drinks.

301. Orzan will make the introduction.

302. Of course.

303. Once inside, we get him

304. to commit to a sale and distribution.

305. Meanwhile, we'll position officers up the street,

306. monitoring the situation led by me.

307. Fighting capitalist propaganda

308. is one of the state's top priorities.

309. Yeah, that and losing files up your ass.

310. - What did you say? - Attention.

311. Files disappear in your assholes.

312. Captain, please.

313. What'd I say?

314. I said enough!

315. Come on.

316. If this man is as dangerous as you say he is,

317. who knows how he'll react when he's provoked?

318. We won't let it escalate.

319. We'll have him take the bait.

320. We leave.

321. Dinca brings in the cavalry.

322. We got this, Captain.

323. Fine.

324. All right, let's go.

325. Let's get ready. Move out.

326. Gregor, Joseph, hold up.

327. My boys...

328. if this thing goes south,

329. I will knock your dicks... in the dirt.

330. We should have guns.

331. Job like this, we should definitely have guns.

332. I'm telling you, man, first thing

333. these guys do is frisk you.

334. I don't care if you're fucking Trotsky,

335. you go in, you get frisked.

336. Yep, we should definitely have guns.

337. Hey, Agota!

338. How you doing?

339. Ha... Nice night.

340. Ah. Looking good.

341. Stairs. Heh.

342. Oh, these are my, my good friends,

343. Vali and, uh, Teo.

344. We're here to see the man.

345. Does the man want to see you?

346. Oh, yeah, yeah, he knows we're coming.

347. Hmm! Here we go.

348. Arms up.

349. Shouldn't you buy me dinner first?

350. Ow!

351. There they are!

352. My new best friends. Get down here.

353. Come on, bros. What do you think?

354. Pretty nice, huh? The very best.

355. You can go swimming in the winter! Ha!

356. I had these palm trees flown in from Iraq.

357. No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't ask me how much I paid.

358. Okay, I paid a lot.

359. Orzan, introduce us.

360. Oh yeah, these, uh, these are my good friends,

361. Vali and Teo.

362. Petre Bubescu.

363. That's who I am,

364. but please call me Bert.

365. B-R-T. Bert.

366. Heh?

367. Ah, you like the view.

368. So do I.

369. Don't believe me? Check out my shorts.

370. Got a boner the size of the Palace of the Parliament!

371. The Palace of the Parliament!

372. Ha-ha! So, Orzan tells me you have something for me.

373. - Yeah. Yeah. - We do... Bert.

374. Please, sit.

375. Ow.

376. Ow... ow.

377. Can I have a taste?

378. Ah! Straight shot of pure, unfiltered caffeinated soda pop!

379. Whoo!

380. Whoo, this is good stuff.

381. We can smuggle it in through Transylvania.

382. We just need distribution once we're across the border.

383. Wait...

384. I mean, gentlemen, as they say in America,

385. "Let's make a deal!"

386. That's great news.

387. And on a personal level, Bert, we just want to say

388. what big fans we are.

389. Oh, yeah, big time.

390. The Business of Business was a true depiction

391. of the West and all its glory.

392. Ah, thanks. We try to get it right.

393. It's important that Romanians get to see the West

394. not as some God-fearing,

395. crime-ridden, horny, money-hungry cesspool,

396. but for what the West really is!

397. And what is it, exactly?

398. A paradise of opportunity!

399. Wait, I got an idea.

400. Katia! Come here, beautiful.

401. Take this guy upstairs to meet Tatyana.

402. Tatyana Popescu? She's here?

403. Yeah, why wouldn't she be? This is her home.

404. Want her autograph?

405. Katia, take him to Tatyana.

406. Yeah.

407. Hey, hey, you stay here with me, big guy.

408. Don't leave me here with Orzan.

409. He creeps me out.

410. Let me show you around.

411. Ah. You like girls?

412. - I like girls. Hold on.

413. You work out?

414. Tatyana's aunt is look for her.

415. She'd like to see her again.

416. Is that who sent you?

417. Let them know Tatyana's fine, she likes it here.

418. How about you?

419. Is there anyone out there looking for you?

420. You don't have to be scared.

421. I can protect you.

422. You're swimming in deep waters, my friend.

423. There's a Cold War going on, and I consider myself a soldier.

424. - Isn't that right, Zoya? - Whatever you say, baby.

425. Please, sit. Originally,

426. I was going to change the world through theatre.

427. First production I put up was Romeo and Juliet.

428. But my version was different.

429. See, in my version,

430. the better version, Juliet never dies.

431. Romeo wakes up.

432. They kiss, they embrace, they live happily ever after.

433. Sensational.

434. - The critics hated it. - It was savage.

435. But I stand by what I did.

436. It made me want to blow my fucking brains out.

437. That would be a small mess.

438. Look, the truth is, you put on one play,

439. and you're lucky if 100 people show up.

440. Hardly the spark that'll start a capitalist revolution.

441. So, what do you do?

442. Excellent question, Teo.

443. I think we should go in.

444. No, no.

445. Just sit tight, Tipsy.

446. This is Tatyana's room.

447. Mmm.

448. We should kill some time until she gets back.

449. What are you doing?

450. - Hp...

451. Hey. I'm a married man.

452. I'm... I'm sorry.

453. Put your clothes on.

454. I'm... so, so sorry.

455. - Huh?

456. What did you do to me?

457. You...

458. - You...

459. Mmm.

460. Oh.

461. Okay, that's it.

462. Keep going. Don't... Ignore me.

463. Don't mind me, don't mind me.

464. See, everybody, both sides of the Cold War,

465. has this fear of nuclear weapons.

466. But, they're forgetting that the war,

467. the real war, is about ideas.

468. It's a war for your mind.

469. Look...

470. Which is why this... Mwah!

471. may be the single most effective weapon

472. of mass destruction.

473. Now that I've got you wet...

474. are you ready to be fucked?

475. Check this out,

476. my own personal "boom"!

477. Atomic bomb factory.

478. 1,600 tapes a week.

479. Distributed all over the country,

480. straight into people's homes,

481. where families and friends gather to watch.

482. Capitalist virtues will spread like a virus

483. and spread and spread and spread

484. until the East is turned into the West.

485. Okay, wow.

486. - Yeah. Mm, that's good.

487. That's so good.

488. It is, yeah.

489. Oh, that's so good.

490. Yeah, yeah.

491. So, I should, um... I should go check on my friend.

492. Okay, relax.

493. Did Orzan tell you how we met?

494. Orzan came to audition for one of my films.

495. It's true. - He was talentless.

496. But he was meticulous, I liked him.

497. So I got him the job as the projectionist

498. at the cinema.

499. By the way, how did you two meet?

500. Uh, w... we...

501. We go to the same cafe.

502. - Oh, is that right? Yeah, yes.

503. Let me tell you something.

504. Finding a good projectionist

505. - is harder than finding a good actor. Very true.

506. An actor just needs to be able to lie. As you must know...

507. Uh-huh, uh.

508. the world is full of liars.

509. Unfortunately for Orzan here,

510. he can't lie for shit.

511. Creepy motherfucker.

512. - Did you hear that?

513. - Oh, it's an ambush! - Duck!

514. No, no, no. Don't stop. Finish the scene.

515. Joseph!

516. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who the fuck are you?

517. This is a closed set.

518. Joseph, come on, get up.

519. Gregor, I saw him.

520. Who?

521. Him. He was here.

522. It's not over until I yell "cut"!

523. And scene.

524. Did I get him?

525. It's a damn war zone in there.

526. In all my years, I've never seen this kind of carnage.

527. So?

528. You saw the killer?

529. Yes.

530. He was in a room with me.

531. And what were you doing in the room?

532. I was...

533. I was being raped.

534. What?

535. The killer is sill out there, Captain.

536. So this massacre was for nothing?

537. Do you think we're in America, where life is cheap?

538. Ten of our fellow citizens are dead in there,

539. and you let the killer get away?

540. He's been one step ahead of us the entire time.

541. You two are off the case.

542. I'm giving this to Stan and Dragos.

543. Captain, no.

544. You're no closer to finding this person

545. than the day Nikita gave his life for his country.

546. It's over.

547. Go home.

548. He's right.

549. We failed.

550. Joseph.

551. Joseph!

552. You had a bad day?

553. Yes, my love.

554. Very bad.

555. Sleep, Joseph.

556. Get some rest.

557. Things will look better in the morning.

558. Daddy.

559. Daddy!

560. You told me once, Father, that it is my duty to inform.

561. Even if I had to inform on loved ones.

562. Yes, of course.

563. Captain?

564. Joseph, you're under arrest.

565. For what?

566. For smuggling in Western goods.

567. Men.

568. Joseph?

569. Wait, t... there's been some kind of mistake.

570. Your son discovered all this in the floorboards.

571. He called us immediately.

572. If nothing else, you raisedonegood child.

573. I'm not so sure about this one.

574. - All right. No.

575. I've been set up. Captain!

576. - No, this is some kind of setup. Papa...

577. None of that stuff's mine, I'm innocent!

578. Captain!

579. All right, all right.

580. All right, all right, I'm coming!

581. Hi.

582. We just arrested Joseph.

583. Uh... Huh.

584. Seems the son of a bitch

585. was part of the smuggling operation all along.

586. What the fuck are you talking about?

587. I'm assuming you didn't know.

588. Joseph, corrupt?

589. N... no, uh, I don't believe that.

590. He fooled us all, Gregor.

591. Now, look.

592. We need to clear you, and when we do,

593. I want you to interrogate Detective Baciu.

594. No... No.

595. No, now, you two had a connection.

596. Maybe he'll be more open to confessing to you.

597. Company?

598. Hey, get up!

599. Come on, lady, time to go.

600. Who is she?

601. I don't remember.

602. Hey. Lady, rise and shine.

603. Let's go.

604. Get up.

605. Come on, honey, get up.

606. What...

607. It's Tatyana Popescu.

608. No...

609. I just found her.

610. Let's go. Get your hands where I can see them.

611. - I... I didn't do that. - Hands where I can see them.

612. I didn't do that!

613. Don't worry.

614. I'll send you meatballs in prison.

615. Let's go.

616. Let's go.