1. At 60% less fat and 20%
less price, the only thingCopy !req
2. Kolb Family's Family Pack Ham
Packs don't have less of is flavor.Copy !req
3. Haaaaaaaaa'aaam, gurrrrl!Copy !req
4. Family pack ham packs,
from Kolb Family Farms,Copy !req
5. the family that's pleased to meat you.Copy !req
6. Haaaaaaaaa'aaam, gurrrrl!Copy !req
7. You don't know his name, but
you know what he says, andCopy !req
8. you love how he says it.Copy !req
9. Haaaaaaam gurl!Copy !req
10. Haaaaaaam gurl!Copy !req
11. Haaaaaaam gurl!Copy !req
12. So, who is the man who started it all?Copy !req
13. Ben Chang, and we have
him here with us today.Copy !req
14. You are the Ham Girl guy.Copy !req
15. Yes, I am the Ham Girl guy.Copy !req
16. How did this happen?Copy !req
17. Well, I just kept auditioning,
you know, kept working hard.Copy !req
18. And now?Copy !req
19. Spielberg is calling.Copy !req
20. Not you know, I don't go by phone calls.Copy !req
21. I go by contracts.Copy !req
22. But Spielberg is interested
in you for The Color Blue.Copy !req
23. In the new Play Dough movie, is that right?Copy !req
24. Maybe, you know, maybe.Copy !req
25. But like I always say, you
know, life is a roller coaster.Copy !req
26. You were a teacher at a
community college in Colorado.Copy !req
27. Did you just...Copy !req
28. - True.
- One day in class say,Copy !req
29. class dismissed, I'm headed to Hollywood?Copy !req
30. I mean.Copy !req
31. How did your students react to that?Copy !req
32. Well, you know, I haven't
spoken to them, really.Copy !req
33. I...Copy !req
34. There's not much for me back there.Copy !req
35. No friends?Copy !req
36. You know, I was kind of a loner.Copy !req
37. People, you know, made fun of me for it,Copy !req
38. but I just kept my head down
and stayed focused on my work.Copy !req
39. Well they're making fun
of you now, are they?Copy !req
40. No, they are not.Copy !req
41. Can I get a Ham Girl?Copy !req
42. Haaaaaaaaa'aaam, gurrrrl!Copy !req
43. You know, I don't know if that was...Copy !req
44. And there it is, ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
45. from community college to
something a little bit better.Copy !req
46. Turn it off.Copy !req
47. Ben Chang is on a rocket
ship to eternal validation.Copy !req
48. Turn it off.Copy !req
49. Thank's so much for being.Copy !req
50. Well it's been three weeks.Copy !req
51. I'm having his car towed.Copy !req
52. To Chang.Copy !req
53. May your success be brief,
and your colds last months.Copy !req
54. Jeff.Copy !req
55. Hey, get out of Greendale,
or you get me in your corner,Copy !req
56. you don't get both.Copy !req
57. Ham, girl.Copy !req
58. Who would have predicted
Chang becoming famous?Copy !req
59. Technically, I did, remember?Copy !req
60. Only, I thought it would be for...Copy !req
61. Eating someone, yeah.Copy !req
62. You think that Spielberg
stuff is really happening?Copy !req
63. How could that happen?Copy !req
64. That would mean the world was insane.Copy !req
65. Haaaaaaaaa'aaam, gurrrrl!Copy !req
66. Not to be crass, but there is
an upside to this, financially.Copy !req
67. Chang's absence lowers
our insurance premiums 6%.Copy !req
68. There's nothing but upsides to him leaving.Copy !req
69. I think we all just feel
a little short changed.Copy !req
70. We invested so much in
him when no one else would.Copy !req
71. Because we all assumed he was so insane
he would die if we kicked him out.Copy !req
72. This whole time it turns
out we were holding him back.Copy !req
73. We thought he was bedrock.Copy !req
74. But it turns out he was the
ceiling of a cavern filled with us.Copy !req
75. I have already forgotten his name.Copy !req
76. Did you ever really know his name?Copy !req
77. The Chinese fellow, right?Copy !req
78. Whose name was some kind of noise?Copy !req
79. Clang, bang, merengue.Copy !req
80. Looks like I'm the only one
who's not glad he's gone.Copy !req
81. At least I can finally clear
some space in my hard drive.Copy !req
82. Oh, Leonard's been in
there for a while, butCopy !req
83. I can stand guard if you
wanna use the women's room.Copy !req
84. No, I mean, I was shooting a movie
with Chang before he booked Ham Girl.Copy !req
85. Oh.Copy !req
86. I haven't heard from him since,
so I assume the footage is useless.Copy !req
87. Did he sign a release form?Copy !req
88. Sure.Copy !req
89. I make all my actors sign
releases before we do anything.Copy !req
90. You never know who is going to.Copy !req
91. The school owns a movie
starring the Ham Girl guy.Copy !req
92. Soon to be Spielberg's Ham Girl guy.Copy !req
93. Oh. There's no way to finish it, though.Copy !req
94. Abed?Copy !req
95. What have I told you about quitting?Copy !req
96. That it's sometimes
the only way to survive.Copy !req
97. Well, don't forget I said sometimes.Copy !req
98. Yolanda, the mayor's up my ass.Copy !req
99. I want justice.Copy !req
100. Get him in here!Copy !req
101. Is that right?Copy !req
102. Should I be angry?Copy !req
103. The film's hero is police justice.Copy !req
104. I had a real life former cop
help me with the dialogue.Copy !req
105. I'm gonna punch you in the heart.Copy !req
106. Real life former cops
aren't great with dialogue.Copy !req
107. I don't think police should be heroes.Copy !req
108. Britta, pay your rent.Copy !req
109. Sorry, Abed. Okay, I need more information.Copy !req
110. What's my motivation?Copy !req
111. Am I married?Copy !req
112. I need more to go on.Copy !req
113. Can we get lunch?Copy !req
114. Okay, cut.Copy !req
115. That's about all we got.Copy !req
116. Chang found out the McRib was back
and we lost the rest of the day.Copy !req
117. Great actor, huge McRib problem.Copy !req
118. Mm-hm.Copy !req
119. Everybody.Copy !req
120. This is my friend I told you about, Maury.Copy !req
121. He's a genuine Hollywood film producer
whose doctor ordered him to live inCopy !req
122. Colorado due to a medical condition.Copy !req
123. Tell them what you told me.Copy !req
124. Yeah, my blood nitrogen
levels are through the roof.Copy !req
125. - Most of the time, I can't...
- Oh, no, no the other thing.Copy !req
126. Oh, right. If you can cut together
an 81 minute movie that arguably starsCopy !req
127. the Ham Girl guy, I can guarantee
distribution and a fast turnaround deal.Copy !req
128. People do it all the time with old
footage from recently famous actors.Copy !req
129. Have you seen Vin Diesel
in 1996's Happy Pants?Copy !req
130. No.Copy !req
131. Well, neither has Vin Diesel, butCopy !req
132. his roommate from film
school saw 500 grand.Copy !req
133. But, I can't just burn up my cop drama.Copy !req
134. It's my only chance at the mainstream
success I need before I'm allowed toCopy !req
135. make weird stuff for money.Copy !req
136. It's my American Graffiti, my
Elephant Man, my Four Rooms,Copy !req
137. the Robert Rodriguez segment.Copy !req
138. Well, why does it have
to be a police movie?Copy !req
139. People don't even like police now.Copy !req
140. They like dinosaurs, they like aliens andCopy !req
141. anything else that Chris
Pratt can join forces with.Copy !req
142. Ooh. I have three minutes of footage andCopy !req
143. he's clearly a police chief
behind a desk in New York.Copy !req
144. Is he? Or is it Space York,
or is it a dinosaur desk?Copy !req
145. How do I know?Copy !req
146. Just add some CG.Copy !req
147. That's what they do with Chris Pratt.Copy !req
148. They put in him a regular scene,
and then they add some Gagoos.Copy !req
149. I have a few CG models of some Gagoos.Copy !req
150. I got fired from a
mouthwash commercial, butCopy !req
151. I successfully won back the
rights to my gingivitis monster.Copy !req
152. Also, I don't know if it helps, but,
when I moved into my RV, I found this.Copy !req
153. Now, that, you notice anything strange?Copy !req
154. There's no green three in billiards.Copy !req
155. Now, there's a green six and a green
fourteen, but never a green three.Copy !req
156. So, what sport is this from?Copy !req
157. And why was it in my RV?Copy !req
158. Anyway I... I can do some CG for the movie.Copy !req
159. You'll need a Chris Pratt type.Copy !req
160. I'll do it if I have to.Copy !req
161. I can slouch.Copy !req
162. I can't believe you guys are
the ones pitching me this,Copy !req
163. and I can't believe I'm saying no.Copy !req
164. You're not saying no.Copy !req
165. I mean, legally, I can't force you.Copy !req
166. But, I can do a morning announcement
that will make everyone hate you forever.Copy !req
167. Technically, Abed, you would
be robbing the school forCopy !req
168. half a million dollars
by not making this movie.Copy !req
169. But, what movie?Copy !req
170. Have you not been listening?Copy !req
171. The movie about the Ham Girl guy, in
his space office fighting some Gagoos,Copy !req
172. led by Chris Pratt type, played
by Jeffrey without his shirt.Copy !req
173. Hm.Copy !req
174. It shoots this weekend.Copy !req
175. - Yeah.
- Yeah?Copy !req
176. Okay, but I get final cut,
and it has to be a good movie.Copy !req
177. Agreed, but you have to finish that
cut by Monday, even if it's bad.Copy !req
178. I agree to that, but it has
to be good by my standards.Copy !req
179. Absolutely, and also, if it's
terrible, nobody will notice or care.Copy !req
180. You guys are all gonna help me?Copy !req
181. And we're gonna make a good movie?Copy !req
182. Definitely, or a bad one.Copy !req
183. Probably a bad one.Copy !req
184. I think we're all on the same page.Copy !req
185. Yeah.Copy !req
186. I guess so.Copy !req
187. Good.Copy !req
188. So, let's crap out this piece of crap.Copy !req
189. That attitude concerns me.Copy !req
190. I need more information.Copy !req
191. What's my motivation?Copy !req
192. I need more to go on.Copy !req
193. My name is Chief Star,
and I am in the stars.Copy !req
194. And I am the hero.Copy !req
195. I deserve better.Copy !req
196. You're a very gifted pilot, Chief Star.Copy !req
197. I'm the mayor of outer space.Copy !req
198. Why are we changing course?Copy !req
199. The mayor is up my ass.Copy !req
200. Father, I love him.Copy !req
201. What in the space?Copy !req
202. Yooba dooba dooba.Copy !req
203. We're under attack.Copy !req
204. By whom, Glip Glop?Copy !req
205. Okay, cut.Copy !req
206. Why are we cutting?Copy !req
207. That felt good to me.Copy !req
208. - Moving on?
- Stop.Copy !req
209. Just a couple of adjustments.Copy !req
210. Ugh, you get two.Copy !req
211. You guys need to move
when the ship gets hit.Copy !req
212. It looks weird when you stand still.Copy !req
213. And Britta, it sounds weird
when you use good grammar.Copy !req
214. My character can't have good grammar?Copy !req
215. Not in a space battle.Copy !req
216. Because everything else we're
saying sounds really natural, like,Copy !req
217. I'm a Space Senator.Copy !req
218. Space Mayor.Copy !req
219. I'm matching your dialogue
to what I have from Chang.Copy !req
220. - What are my lines?
- You don't have any lines.Copy !req
221. You're the back of Chang.Copy !req
222. But we have Chang's footage.Copy !req
223. This shot from that angle
matches the back of Chang's shot.Copy !req
224. Chang is Chief Star.Copy !req
225. He's the pilot of the spaceship.Copy !req
226. Britta, you're Princess Meridian.Copy !req
227. Brittana.Copy !req
228. Okay. Jeff is her father,
the Mayor of Space, andCopy !req
229. you guys are under attack.Copy !req
230. Action!Copy !req
231. What in the space?Copy !req
232. Yooba dooba dooba.Copy !req
233. We're under attack.Copy !req
234. Okay, cut.Copy !req
235. Where are you guys seeing Glip Glop?Copy !req
236. That Glip Glop was a tennis ball.Copy !req
237. But, Garrett's not Glip Glop.Copy !req
238. If I was Glip Glop, why would I be
holding a tennis ball on a stick?Copy !req
239. Why am I wearing a blouse?Copy !req
240. It's Sci-fi, it doesn't matter.Copy !req
241. Please don't say that.Copy !req
242. I know you don't mean that.Copy !req
243. The tennis ball is Glip Glop, and
please stumble in the same direction.Copy !req
244. Go! Action.Copy !req
245. Bang.Copy !req
246. What in space?Copy !req
247. Gooba, gooba, gooba.Copy !req
248. We're under attack!Copy !req
249. - Who by? Who attack? Me princess.
- The Sporborfians!Copy !req
250. Okay, I'm ready.Copy !req
251. Are you ready?Copy !req
252. Rolling.Copy !req
253. Are we rolling?Copy !req
254. We'reCopy !req
255. rolling!Copy !req
256. Get to the escape pod.Copy !req
257. Really? You picked that outfit?Copy !req
258. Britta?Copy !req
259. It's Meridian.Copy !req
260. - Keep going.
- Insane.Copy !req
261. And, what is your name, Exploitia?Copy !req
262. Scorpio Nine, I'm a pleasure droid.Copy !req
263. No, I'm an assassin?Copy !req
264. You're both, keep going.Copy !req
265. She was a pleasure droid.Copy !req
266. She got turned into an assassin.Copy !req
267. She's my other daughter.Copy !req
268. That's your sister.Copy !req
269. Get to the escape pods.Copy !req
270. And then, then we go.Copy !req
271. This way.Copy !req
272. Check on Chief Star, Jeff.Copy !req
273. Chief Star?Copy !req
274. What?Copy !req
275. I'll see you in hell.Copy !req
276. What?Copy !req
277. Mayor, your ass is grass.Copy !req
278. Okay, cut.Copy !req
279. There are some things that we could...Copy !req
280. Okay. Moving on, people.Copy !req
281. Okay, moving on.Copy !req
282. Next shot, space station faculty lounge.Copy !req
283. Thank you.Copy !req
284. Abed, we need to move
a little faster I think.Copy !req
285. Can I just explain
something as a filmmaker?Copy !req
286. I wish you wouldn't.Copy !req
287. I wish you would look at
what I was wearing, andCopy !req
288. let that be all the explanation you needCopy !req
289. about where are standards should be.Copy !req
290. But, do you understand that sci-fi
films aren't usually improvisedCopy !req
291. over a weekend with a cast
and crew that doesn't care?Copy !req
292. We care about finishing.Copy !req
293. And, this has to be finished by Monday.Copy !req
294. So, you're back into a
level of quality from there.Copy !req
295. Let me use a metaphor I can understand.Copy !req
296. Every day, I work out.Copy !req
297. - Really?
- Yes, because I'm not an artist like you, butCopy !req
298. this is a kind of canvas.Copy !req
299. I work on it with equipment,
but I will never really be done.Copy !req
300. - You could be if you wanted, I mean...
- This will never be done.Copy !req
301. Chris Pratt's never gonna stop, is he?Copy !req
302. He'll always be out there mocking me.Copy !req
303. So, I can never stop.Copy !req
304. Just like you'll never stop making movies.Copy !req
305. But, I don't stay on one
treadmill my entire life,Copy !req
306. staring at commercials for
movies with Chris Pratt.Copy !req
307. I take my work into the world.Copy !req
308. I premiere it, I share with the public.Copy !req
309. Don't stay in the gym, Abed.Copy !req
310. Get this session done, get out
there and get your shirt off.Copy !req
311. Got it?Copy !req
312. Yes?Copy !req
313. Yes!Copy !req
314. Ready, let's do this.Copy !req
315. I understand youCopy !req
316. are looking forCopy !req
317. your friends.Copy !req
318. Yeah.Copy !req
319. I am Minotaur Man.Copy !req
320. What?Copy !req
321. Friends are hard to come by in space.Copy !req
322. You'd better take this for protection.Copy !req
323. The sound you hear coming from the gun I gave
you is 40,000 hyper watts of laser.Copy !req
324. Oh, don't worry, don't worry about that.Copy !req
325. I can put that back.Copy !req
326. Sometimes my eye falls off
because I mean, I'm a robot.Copy !req
327. - Aah!
- Watch out!Copy !req
328. Aah!Copy !req
329. How about this bar, everyone
here is so accustomed to violence.Copy !req
330. I need, any no...Copy !req
331. Where your friends are?Copy !req
332. Yeah.Copy !req
333. I'm sorry, but you're not gonna like this.Copy !req
334. Your friends have been taken
prisoner by Master, Master Dracula.Copy !req
335. Wild West baby.Copy !req
336. Space version of the Wild West.Copy !req
337. Cut.Copy !req
338. Okay.Copy !req
339. My eye fell off, but,
but, but I, I covered it.Copy !req
340. Perfect.Copy !req
341. Moving on, hallway.Copy !req
342. Yes!Copy !req
343. Oh!Copy !req
344. Take that!Copy !req
345. This is crazy.Copy !req
346. Here.Copy !req
347. Let me do this.Copy !req
348. What are you doing?Copy !req
349. You make everything harder
for all women when you do that.Copy !req
350. I'm improvising.Copy !req
351. Improvise pockets.Copy !req
352. Pay your rent, or shut up.Copy !req
353. Laser bomb!Copy !req
354. Yooba Dooba dooba, Glip Glop like.Copy !req
355. Yooba Dooba dooba, Yooba
Dooba dooba, Yooba Dooba dooba.Copy !req
356. So the robot also says yooba dooba.Copy !req
357. I'm not complaining.Copy !req
358. It's just that everyone who's not
a person is saying "Yooba Dooba.".Copy !req
359. Maybe it's because I'm a spy.Copy !req
360. Ugh.Copy !req
361. He's a spy.Copy !req
362. I'm an evil spy.Copy !req
363. Shoot Glip Glop's he's a spy.Copy !req
364. Glop Glop's a spy?Copy !req
365. We went with it.Copy !req
366. Okay shot.Copy !req
367. Shot.Copy !req
368. Okay now that now that he's dead andCopy !req
369. there's one robot left
let's go to the thing.Copy !req
370. Go.Copy !req
371. Yooba Dooba dooba, Yooba
Dooba dooba, Yooba Dooba dooba.Copy !req
372. Ooh!Copy !req
373. Space garbage.Copy !req
374. Look!Copy !req
375. Aah!Copy !req
376. Aah! We're gonna get crushed.Copy !req
377. And is there a monster?Copy !req
378. Aah!Copy !req
379. But so what?Copy !req
380. We're gonna get crushed.Copy !req
381. I love you?Copy !req
382. - I love you.
- That's your daughter.Copy !req
383. - You're my daughter.
- Yeah and you said we were sisters, dumb ass.Copy !req
384. It's hot. It's like Chinatown in space.Copy !req
385. Aah!Copy !req
386. Aah!Copy !req
387. - And I'm the hero?
- Yay!Copy !req
388. - Let's do this.
- Yeah!Copy !req
389. They're saved!Copy !req
390. Feel the force.Copy !req
391. What?Copy !req
392. I don't feel the force.Copy !req
393. I'm not allowed to.Copy !req
394. What do I feel?Copy !req
395. I feel Dracula force.Copy !req
396. I feel Dracula signals.Copy !req
397. Your ass is mine.Copy !req
398. That last stunt you pulled put six
of my best guys in the hospital.Copy !req
399. Maniac.Copy !req
400. I'm more than a maniac.Copy !req
401. I'm Dracula.Copy !req
402. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Oh my
God, Jesus Christ they shot him.Copy !req
403. Who am I? What's my motivation?Copy !req
404. Why am I doing or saying anything
that I am saying or doing,Copy !req
405. I need more, I need more
than what I'm getting.Copy !req
406. That was incredible.Copy !req
407. Congratulations.Copy !req
408. - How long is it?
- 87 minutes.Copy !req
409. Get it to eight one, that means 81.Copy !req
410. I'll make some calls, we'll
premiere this thing, andCopy !req
411. we'll get your school a check.Copy !req
412. Whoa.Copy !req
413. So which six minutes should we cut?Copy !req
414. Oh. Hm.Copy !req
415. Jeff's death scene probably, right?Copy !req
416. Oh. Yeah.Copy !req
417. - Mine?
- Yeah, in the space dungeon?Copy !req
418. There's no Chang in that.Copy !req
419. How long is Jeff's death scene?Copy !req
420. Yeah, how long is it. We're
really zeroing in on it.Copy !req
421. Do you think I'm frightened?Copy !req
422. These chains were forged
from the iron of Ganymede.Copy !req
423. And the steel, I'm not going
to tell you where he is.Copy !req
424. I'd rather die.Copy !req
425. Hm. Hm, it seems pretty important
he doesn't give doesn't give up Chang.Copy !req
426. I mean, otherwise the last thing he
says to him is, I'll see you in Hell.Copy !req
427. It's not really a movie about him.Copy !req
428. - Yeah. Hm-hm.
- Well, what about your steel drum solo?Copy !req
429. Oh, I don't think we should lose that.Copy !req
430. Well, what about the weird wedding
ritual on Glip Glop's planet, huh?Copy !req
431. Okay.Copy !req
432. Let's not throw out the
baby with the bath water.Copy !req
433. We're not getting a frame of Glip Glop.Copy !req
434. I mean, that's like cutting
Cowboy out of Midnight Cowboy.Copy !req
435. Mm-hm.Copy !req
436. Jeff's death scene is
six minutes 30 seconds.Copy !req
437. - There you go.- Oh, there you go.Copy !req
438. Okay, cool.Copy !req
439. Easy enough.Copy !req
440. Should we, before we finish editing,Copy !req
441. should we get those
hornets out of the garbage?Copy !req
442. Those swarming hornets.Copy !req
443. Oh!Copy !req
444. - Is that serious?
- Is he doing a bit...Copy !req
445. - That's a long bit.
- Oh, he's serious.Copy !req
446. Let's face it.Copy !req
447. It's pretty obvious when he's acting.Copy !req
448. Mm.Copy !req
449. Let's do this.Copy !req
450. Yo, yo, yo.Copy !req
451. Howdy.Copy !req
452. Welcome to Kyle Beiderman's
editing tutorials.Copy !req
453. I'm Kyle Beiderman.Copy !req
454. Yeah, that Kyle Beiderman.Copy !req
455. Leave me alone, Abed.Copy !req
456. Once I've watched this
tutorial on how editing works,Copy !req
457. I'm gonna save this movie
without removing its soul.Copy !req
458. Step one.Copy !req
459. How to correctly label your files.Copy !req
460. Nobody cares about labeling
files, teach me to edit.Copy !req
461. What the hell was that?Copy !req
462. You stay away!Copy !req
463. This is my movie too!Copy !req
464. It's not even a movie
Jeff, it's a piece of crap.Copy !req
465. That doesn't mean it can't be good.Copy !req
466. That's basically exactly what it means.Copy !req
467. You stay away Abed.Copy !req
468. I'm not kidding.Copy !req
469. I'm huge and I have zero blood sugar.Copy !req
470. I will kill you in these frisbees
and nobody will ever find you.Copy !req
471. Okay.Copy !req
472. So now let's get familiar
with the user interface.Copy !req
473. No, just teach me to edit.Copy !req
474. Bazinga.Copy !req
475. I'm going to kill you.Copy !req
476. You're killing me!Copy !req
477. I told you!Copy !req
478. You're literally killing me.Copy !req
479. For real?Copy !req
480. Yes!Copy !req
481. Are you nuts?Copy !req
482. What is wrong with you?Copy !req
483. Every single one of you was
gonna leave here except for me.Copy !req
484. Troy, Shirley, Annie's gonna be President.Copy !req
485. Even Pierce got to die.Copy !req
486. And Chang goes to Hollywood.Copy !req
487. So, we force you to make the
crappiest movie of all time,Copy !req
488. and then we force you
to make it even crappier.Copy !req
489. And we watch it, and it's
still not even that bad.Copy !req
490. And the part I accidentally got
the most excited about is the sevenCopy !req
491. minutes we can cut.Copy !req
492. Do you know what that means?Copy !req
493. It means I'm a genius,
but we already knew that.Copy !req
494. I finally know in my heart,Copy !req
495. that I will literally be
the last one of us here.Copy !req
496. And I know, they gave digital
muscles to Chris Pratt in Guardians ofCopy !req
497. the Galaxy.Copy !req
498. I watch Parks and Rec.Copy !req
499. I watched it. There's no
scientific explanation for...Copy !req
500. Hm, Jeff.Copy !req
501. You helped me learn something about
film making today that I think we allCopy !req
502. need to apply to life.Copy !req
503. It's okay to plan some stuff, andCopy !req
504. it's okay to figure out what we did wrong.Copy !req
505. But our plans are randomly
gonna fall apart andCopy !req
506. our lessons are randomly
gonna be wrong, andCopy !req
507. if we just keep the cameras rolling
and shoot a lot of crap eventuallyCopy !req
508. Annie is going to reach down her
shirt and pull out a laser bomb.Copy !req
509. I didn't write that, we didn't plan that.Copy !req
510. God made that happen.Copy !req
511. God made this movie, and it's dumb.Copy !req
512. And we're dumb for being in it.Copy !req
513. Life is a big, dumb,Copy !req
514. pointless movie with no story and an
abrupt ending where the hero gets shotCopy !req
515. by Dracula in the middle of a
lunch order during an outtake.Copy !req
516. But somewhere in there,
every once in a while.Copy !req
517. Annie reaches down her shirt.Copy !req
518. So we keep the cameras rolling, and
we edit out the parts we don't like,Copy !req
519. and we stop thinking about Chris Pratt
so much, because it is not healthy.Copy !req
520. Will you do me a favor?Copy !req
521. I never tell anybody about
our private conversations.Copy !req
522. I wouldn't really know how.Copy !req
523. Let's cut my stupid scene
out of this piece of crap.Copy !req
524. Then won't we need to add 30 seconds?Copy !req
525. I have an idea about that.Copy !req
526. Who am I?Copy !req
527. What's my motivation?Copy !req
528. Why am I doing or saying
anything, I'm saying or doing?Copy !req
529. But, am I married?Copy !req
530. I need more.Copy !req
531. I need more than what I'm getting.Copy !req
532. Hello Chief Star.Copy !req
533. I told you I'd see you in hell.Copy !req
534. And look who else is here.Copy !req
535. Yooba dooba dooba.Copy !req
536. Woo hoo hoo!Copy !req
537. Oh, great job you guys, on the new ending.Copy !req
538. I like that the guy
actually saw him in hell.Copy !req
539. Right?Copy !req
540. Whoa, whoa.Copy !req
541. Hold on, phone call from the
distributor, get ready for a big check.Copy !req
542. Yellow.Copy !req
543. Wait.Copy !req
544. Calm down.Copy !req
545. What's chapter 11?Copy !req
546. Wait.Copy !req
547. What's YouTube?Copy !req
548. Wait.Copy !req
549. What's broadband?Copy !req
550. What's digital?Copy !req
551. I don't have a good
feeling about that call.Copy !req
552. I don't have a good feeling
about Chang staying bankable.Copy !req
553. Did you guys see this news story?Copy !req
554. I'll never look at hot air
ballooning the same way again.Copy !req
555. Or James Franco's balls.Copy !req
556. Oh, no.Copy !req
557. I tell you what I do
have a good feeling about.Copy !req
558. Bring it in.Copy !req
559. Aw.Copy !req
560. Yeah.Copy !req
561. All right, one more for safety Ben.Copy !req
562. What do you mean, one more for safety?Copy !req
563. I... I just don't know if we
get the line, hold on Slinky.Copy !req
564. Let's move on.Copy !req
565. I... I think, can, can we get one more?Copy !req
566. You got it!Copy !req
567. Come on! Hold on, Slinky!Copy !req
568. Let's go.Copy !req
569. I think it was fine, but
Steven's kind of a stickler.Copy !req
570. Tell Steven Spielberg to lick my butt.Copy !req
571. Well, he's right here, so.Copy !req
572. Hey, Steven Spielberg.Copy !req
573. Can you give us a sec?Copy !req
574. Yes.Copy !req
575. Ben?Copy !req
576. Yep.Copy !req
577. So, I guess we're good for today.Copy !req
578. Great job, you were right.Copy !req
579. We got everything we need.Copy !req
580. And, there's a small door in the
back, back of the booth there,Copy !req
581. that will take you, you know, outside.Copy !req
582. And, we'll talk soon.Copy !req
583. I don't go the way I came?Copy !req
584. You do not.Copy !req
585. There is a little door back
there, and it goes right on out.Copy !req
586. Thank you so much.Copy !req
587. Okay.Copy !req
588. Okay.Copy !req
589. Okay, Randall, are you ready?Copy !req
590. Yup.Copy !req
591. Which brings us to the issueCopy !req
592. of our cosmetology department,Copy !req
593. who once again,Copy !req
594. find themselves.Copy !req
595. Who, once again, find
themselves nearing the end ofCopy !req
596. the semester without any
free haircut volunteers.Copy !req
597. That may be due to last
semester's lice scare.Copy !req
598. Totally.Copy !req
599. Yep.Copy !req
600. Maybe if we put up a
sign, guaranteed no lice.Copy !req
601. Something like that.Copy !req
602. That would open you up to lawsuits.Copy !req
603. Son, we live in a world that has walls, andCopy !req
604. those walls have to be guarded
by men with hair clippers.Copy !req
605. Pink Floyd.Copy !req
606. - Oh.
- You're the worst.Copy !req
607. What?Copy !req
608. Oh, she is the worst.Copy !req
609. Terrible.Copy !req
610. I can't believe she said that.Copy !req
611. Terrible.Copy !req
612. Name one movie.Copy !req
613. Britta's the worst!Copy !req
614. Did you get any of that?Copy !req