1. Why did frankie
call us here?Copy !req
2. I don't know.
Some financial
prospectCopy !req
3. That could
put the school
in the black.Copy !req
4. Which always confuses me,
because black means bad...Copy !req
5. When it's a cat
or a bananaCopy !req
6. Or a shirt that
makes you thinkCopy !req
7. You've lost more weight
than you have.Copy !req
8. Nice save.
Sorry about that, man.Copy !req
9. Hmm? What?Copy !req
10. Did someone
use the word "black,"Copy !req
11. And now you want me
to give you the all clear?Copy !req
12. Please tell me that won't be
my role in this group.Copy !req
13. I have a brain
the size of jupiter.Copy !req
14. I'm nobody's
fourth ghostbuster.
No.Copy !req
15. I promise. This group
does not think that way.Copy !req
16. In fact,
before you got here,Copy !req
17. They had two...
No!Copy !req
18. They had to...Copy !req
19. Often...Copy !req
20. Step back
and remind themselvesCopy !req
21. That they weren't
one collective ray of light.Copy !req
22. Is this a cult?
Are you gonna eat me?Copy !req
23. No. We're fine.
I lived in new york.Copy !req
24. Speaking of which,
midterms are over,Copy !req
25. And i was thinking
we could have a partyCopy !req
26. At our apartment.
Abed? Annie?Copy !req
27. You can have a party.
Yes!Copy !req
28. You can't have a rager.Copy !req
29. We have a rule
against more than
eight guests.Copy !req
30. Eight guests?
That's not
"not a rager."Copy !req
31. That's not a party.Copy !req
32. Nice grammar.
Okay.Copy !req
33. You have a rule
against parties,
which i'm sureCopy !req
34. Is a world record
for uptightness,Copy !req
35. So let's celebrate that.Copy !req
36. I'll bring the booze
and more than eight guests.Copy !req
37. Britta,
you just moved in.Copy !req
38. You don't even have
a real bedroom.
You're a coucher.Copy !req
39. she sleeps... On the couch!Copy !req
40. She's a coucher!Copy !req
41. So i get nothing?Copy !req
42. You get a couch.
You get a home.Copy !req
43. There's no government
to overthrow here.Copy !req
44. I'm not overthrowing...
You're overthrowing
if i say so.Copy !req
45. Nice irony.Copy !req
46. Can we focus on this?
Because now,Copy !req
47. This is happening.Copy !req
48. hello, everyone.
Don't be alarmed.Copy !req
49. I'm attending our meetingCopy !req
50. Using what's called
a telepresence robot.Copy !req
51. I resent the idea
that this would alarm me.Copy !req
52. These bots
have been revolutionizing
the private sector,Copy !req
53. And now the state of coloradoCopy !req
54. Has come to us
with a unique...Copy !req
55. Proposition.Copy !req
56. Seamless, frankie.Copy !req
57. The department of corrections
will pay us moneyCopy !req
58. If we allow a small,
manageable number of inmatesCopy !req
59. To attend greendale
using these.Copy !req
60. now, hold on.Copy !req
61. Are you trying to tell me
that prisonersCopy !req
62. Would use these things
to come to our school?Copy !req
63. that's the black guy
in every sci-fi movie.Copy !req
64. I'll allow it.Copy !req
65. Wait. Prisoners?
Rolling around the school
with students?Copy !req
66. They'll rape us.
They'll rape us all.Copy !req
67. They can't rape youCopy !req
68. Because their genitals will be
hundreds of miles away.Copy !req
69. From each other?Copy !req
70. This is an attemptCopy !req
71. At rehabilitation.Copy !req
72. The prison is looking for ways
to expose their inmatesCopy !req
73. To a real-world
academic environment.
Okay.Copy !req
74. I've heard enough.
I'm responsible
for this school.Copy !req
75. I won't have
hardened criminalsCopy !req
76. Exposing themselves
to it.Copy !req
77. That's the response
they're getting
from everyone,Copy !req
78. Which is why
the state is offering
a $300,000 incentive...Copy !req
79. We'll do it. Dean, do it.
$300,000 for the school.Copy !req
80. They're convicts!Copy !req
81. They're ipads
on sticks.Copy !req
82. As someone that
got paid to keepCopy !req
83. People out,
let me tell you...
Hey, guys.Copy !req
84. I'm moonwalking.Copy !req
85. Not every bad guy
ends up in prison,Copy !req
86. And not every prisoner
is a bad guy.Copy !req
87. Who's this guy?Copy !req
88. 300,000!
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
89. Jeffrey, you know, ordinarily
i'd do anything you say.Copy !req
90. Do it.
Let's do it.Copy !req
91. Well, i walked into
that one.Copy !req
92. Gross!
Who farted?Copy !req
93. Oh, wait, never mind.Copy !req
94. I'm so glad
you talked me into this.Copy !req
95. $300,000.Copy !req
96. Look at us!Copy !req
97. Running the school
together. Oh.Copy !req
98. If i'm running the school,
pay me more.Copy !req
99. what if i made you
professor emeritus?Copy !req
100. We could have
a little ceremony.
Does it pay more?Copy !req
101. No.
Then give me what
the ceremony would cost.Copy !req
102. Okay, folks.
Welcome.Copy !req
103. I believe you all have
maps of our campus.Copy !req
104. Oh, and this is
your dean.Copy !req
105. Dean?
Now,Copy !req
106. If i see any
race gangs forming,Copy !req
107. I will have no choiceCopy !req
108. But to adjust the contrasts
on your screensCopy !req
109. Until you all
look the same.Copy !req
110. And we have a very strictCopy !req
111. No bullying policy
that relates directly to me,Copy !req
112. So be nice... To me.Copy !req
113. No need to be nervous.Copy !req
114. We're all here because
we've done some bad stuff.Copy !req
115. But we ain't here
to do any more.
Aw.Copy !req
116. That's very folksy.
Thank you.Copy !req
117. So i guess justCopy !req
118. Roll forth and rehabilitate!Copy !req
119. watch this.Copy !req
120. All right,
knock it off.Copy !req
121. No one at this school should
pick on any class of people.Copy !req
122. It's like watching magicians
bully jugglers.
What's your name?Copy !req
123. Willy.
Willy, take a seat.Copy !req
124. I'm mr. Jeff winger.
I teach fundamentals of law.Copy !req
125. Does that mean you can
teach me how to get out?Copy !req
126. Probably not.
I was a phony lawyer.Copy !req
127. I got caught,
and now i teach
a pretty phony class.Copy !req
128. It's an automatic a.Copy !req
129. But you might learn
a thing or two.Copy !req
130. And i mean, literally,
a thing or two. Cool?Copy !req
131. And they call me
the criminal.Copy !req
132. Trust me. I know
the main difference between usCopy !req
133. Is an orange jumpsuit.Copy !req
134. And you have an ipad!Copy !req
135. Yeah, and i'm a murderer.Copy !req
136. Now, now, don't worry.
I ain't proud of it.Copy !req
137. Just don't hide it.Copy !req
138. You know, once you take
another man's life,Copy !req
139. The least you could do
is carry it with you.Copy !req
140. Are you carrying any murders,
mr. Winger?Copy !req
141. I am not.Copy !req
142. I hear you have to have
strong feelings
for someone you kill.Copy !req
143. I try to reserve that stuff
for myself.Copy !req
144. All right,
that's enough law.Copy !req
145. Who wants to watch
planet earth?Copy !req
146. Oh, look!Copy !req
147. Ice worlds.Copy !req
148. Oh, the majesty.Copy !req
149. Rhinos and elephants
and flamingos.Copy !req
150. Hey, abed.Copy !req
151. Haven't you been
in our apartment
longer than annie?Copy !req
152. Oh, yeah. I remember
when she first moved in.Copy !req
153. That was back when i was
so worried about pacing,Copy !req
154. I was constantly
laying groundwork
for pop back gags.Copy !req
155. Hey, annie.Copy !req
156. I'd like to make this moment
worth popping back toCopy !req
157. From some point in the future.Copy !req
158. I don't know
what that means.Copy !req
159. There. Don't worry.
It'll pay off. Hey, troy.Copy !req
160. I'm glad i kicked that habit.
It was getting
a little joyless.Copy !req
161. What i'm saying is,
by annie's logic...Copy !req
162. You're saying i was first
in the apartment,Copy !req
163. So i could overrule annie
and let you have a party.Copy !req
164. But i don't get anything
out of parties.Copy !req
165. They're like conventions
for every subjectCopy !req
166. Too boring to have
their own convention.Copy !req
167. And instead of joss whedon,
the police show up.Copy !req
168. The police also showed upCopy !req
169. When you made leonard
take off his clothesCopy !req
170. And filled the living room
with lizards.Copy !req
171. That was for my movie,
reverse godzilla.Copy !req
172. I also thought it might
make a good pop back.Copy !req
173. I make movies, britta.
I make movies.Copy !req
174. Annie makes rules.
You make parties.Copy !req
175. Her rules cancel out
your parties,
but i'm not involved.Copy !req
176. I just make movies.Copy !req
177. Hey, evening,
mr. Winger.Copy !req
178. Willy, you're here late.Copy !req
179. Yeah, taking some
night classes.Copy !req
180. Trying to take
full advantage,
you know?Copy !req
181. This your car?
It's nice.Copy !req
182. Looks like you're taking
full advantage too.Copy !req
183. Yeah,
it's a real dream gig.
Mmm, sarcasm.Copy !req
184. Slick words.
Cock of the walk.Copy !req
185. What are categories
in prison jeopardy?Copy !req
186. Hey, you mind helping me out
with something?Copy !req
187. I think i lost a ball bearing,
and it rolled down
them stairs.Copy !req
188. Lost a ball bearing?Copy !req
189. Mmm-hmm.
Down them stairs.Copy !req
190. You want me to look
down these stairs?
Okay.Copy !req
191. Did you just try
to murder me?Copy !req
192. Are you trying
to murder me?Copy !req
193. You're trying
as hard as you can
right now to kill me.Copy !req
194. Okay, well, uh,Copy !req
195. I guess i'll see you
in class tomorrow?Copy !req
196. Guy who tried
to murder me?Copy !req
197. Oh, i'll see you in class
tomorrow, mr. Winger.Copy !req
198. I will see you...Copy !req
199. Yeah, i'll see you...Copy !req
200. Oy vey.Copy !req
201. Oh, i'll see you tomorrow,
mr. Winger.Copy !req
202. Um...Copy !req
203. So we are having a party?Copy !req
204. Annie! You know me
better than that.Copy !req
205. This is all set dressing.Copy !req
206. I'm helping abed
produce his next film.Copy !req
207. "britta's party,Copy !req
208. "based on a true story
of fun and no rules."Copy !req
209. Hmm.
"fade in before a party.Copy !req
210. "people start coming over.Copy !req
211. "way more than eight."
mmm.Copy !req
212. "it becomes a rager.Copy !req
213. "everyone has a great timeCopy !req
214. "and parties like
there's no tomorrow.Copy !req
215. "then they leave.
Sophia cleans up. The end."Copy !req
216. We're very interested in you
for the role of sophia.Copy !req
217. I see the real-time stakes
of can't hardly wait,Copy !req
218. The subversive raunch
of risky business,Copy !req
219. And the mumbly pointlessness
of everything after 2003.Copy !req
220. Yeah, but real.
Totally real.Copy !req
221. The first movie to capture
the heart of a real party.Copy !req
222. The sensation that
there's no tomorrow.Copy !req
223. The transcendence of time
and mortality.Copy !req
224. Bravo, britta.
Very clever.Copy !req
225. Me?Copy !req
226. Don't look at me.
I could never greenlight
a project this big.Copy !req
227. I moved in third.
I'm a coucher.Copy !req
228. she's a coucher!Copy !req
229. i sleep...
On a couch!Copy !req
230. Oh, she's a coucher!Copy !req
231. Look out!
Look out!Copy !req
232. Who was it?
It's the coucher!Copy !req
233. Oh, boy.
Okay.Copy !req
234. Good night.
good night.Copy !req
235. Aw.Copy !req
236. Before this is over,
you'll beg for my forgiveness.Copy !req
237. So we have
an ultimately low stakesCopy !req
238. But nonetheless creepy problem
with one of our wi-felons.Copy !req
239. You mean willy.Copy !req
240. Yes.
What else did he do?Copy !req
241. Did he steal
the driver's ed simulator?Copy !req
242. Did he start an illegal game
of solitaire on his face?Copy !req
243. Jeffrey, he's in the room.Copy !req
244. Hey, mr. Winger.Copy !req
245. Why is he on your laptop?Copy !req
246. He came to me for a chat
this morning.Copy !req
247. He's here for an education,
jeffrey,Copy !req
248. And he reports to the prison.Copy !req
249. Could you do a little more
in your classCopy !req
250. Than show planet earth?Copy !req
251. You're telling on me?Copy !req
252. He tried to murder me
last night.Copy !req
253. What?
Now, hold on.Copy !req
254. Now, where i'm from,Copy !req
255. You accuse somebody
of something,
you better have evidence,Copy !req
256. Or he better be
a minority.Copy !req
257. He tried to push me
down stairs.Copy !req
258. That's ridiculous.
It was ridiculous.Copy !req
259. But this is not someone
who should be
interacting with students.Copy !req
260. And you're seriously taking
his word over mine?Copy !req
261. Well, have you ever
killed anyone, jeffrey?Copy !req
262. Why would
an actual murdererCopy !req
263. Want to kill
a community college teacher?Copy !req
264. Now i'm not worth murdering?
Why would i lie?Copy !req
265. Isn't that your specialty?
You're a raconteur.Copy !req
266. You charm people
with your slick
and fancy words.Copy !req
267. Willy...Copy !req
268. Willy just charms them.Copy !req
269. Oh, my god!Copy !req
270. i should
leave you two alone.
I've got classes.Copy !req
271. Some of us
came here to work.Copy !req
272. Jealousy
isn't a crime, jeffrey,Copy !req
273. But costing the school
$300,000 will be.Copy !req
274. So be a good teacher,
especially when
willy's watching.Copy !req
275. Which is why they call it
"yard juice."Copy !req
276. Next question.
Do you get to pick
your number?Copy !req
277. Does anyone ever get
their head stuck
between the bars?Copy !req
278. We call it
getting metal ears.Copy !req
279. Oh, hi, mr. Winger.Copy !req
280. Thought we'd sneak in
a little learning
before the movie.Copy !req
281. Well,
there's no movie today,Copy !req
282. So everyone
roll to your seat areas.Copy !req
283. Yes, sir.Copy !req
284. So...Copy !req
285. Law.
Law is, simply put,Copy !req
286. An agreement we all make
to do our bestCopy !req
287. To stay out
of each other's way.Copy !req
288. Is there a more technical
definition, mr. Winger?Copy !req
289. well, i wouldn't know, willy.Copy !req
290. I don't cotton much
to fancy words
and book study.Copy !req
291. It's not how i got
to where i am.Copy !req
292. How did you get to be
where you are, mr. Winger?Copy !req
293. Where were you born?Copy !req
294. mr. Winger was bornCopy !req
295. In dirt, willy.Copy !req
296. Same as you, i'm sure.Copy !req
297. And i had my face
held down in that dirtCopy !req
298. By the kings of dirt.Copy !req
299. And now,
they're still there,Copy !req
300. Ruling over dirt,
and I...Copy !req
301. Got out.Copy !req
302. By talking.
By lying.Copy !req
303. Well, in case
you hadn't noticed,Copy !req
304. It seems to beat
being a bully.Copy !req
305. Garrett.Copy !req
306. Mr. Winger, when did you
stop being funny?Copy !req
307. I mean, am i wrong,Copy !req
308. Or does he seem
really intense here?Copy !req
309. like, "ah,
you were born in the dirt,
and you'll die in the dirt."Copy !req
310. kings... And then,
who are the kings of the dirt?Copy !req
311. Everyone's so
charmed by himCopy !req
312. Because he's
a violent criminal.Copy !req
313. But he's also
a petty sociopath.Copy !req
314. And the more i try
to point that out,
the pettier i look.Copy !req
315. Weren't you the one
who championed
this program?Copy !req
316. Shouldn't have
worn that petardCopy !req
317. If you didn't want to be
hoisted by it.Copy !req
318. What do you think
the expressionCopy !req
319. "hoisted by your own petard"
is referencing?Copy !req
320. I guess i just assumed
that in the old days,Copy !req
321. A petard was
a special outfit,
like a leotard,Copy !req
322. With a lot of fancy buckles
and loops on itCopy !req
323. And that rich people
would wear themCopy !req
324. When they were feeling
especially smug,Copy !req
325. But then poor peopleCopy !req
326. Could tie a rope
to one of the loopsCopy !req
327. And hoist them up a poleCopy !req
328. And then let them
dangle thereCopy !req
329. As punishment
for being cocky.Copy !req
330. Never look it up.
Your explanation
is way better.Copy !req
331. But also, the next time
a friend comes by
with their problems,Copy !req
332. Maybe lay off
the i-told-you-so's.Copy !req
333. Jeff, we're having
a britta party here.Copy !req
334. Could you be
a little bit less
of a buzzkill?Copy !req
335. That was great.Copy !req
336. Now party like
there's no tomorrow.Copy !req
337. What?
There's no tomorrow.Copy !req
338. party like it.Copy !req
339. Huh... Um...Copy !req
340. Um, okay. Uh, why don't you
just do some business
in the background for now?Copy !req
341. Hi, everybody!
Ah, don't worry.Copy !req
342. We're not here
to bust up your party.Copy !req
343. I know most of you
are like 30.Copy !req
344. We're here because
frankie dart
has exciting news.Copy !req
345. You have all been
very cooperativeCopy !req
346. With this inmate
education program.Copy !req
347. The department of corrections
is very, very happy.Copy !req
348. Which means greendale
is gonna be rich.Copy !req
349. So don't tell anybody,Copy !req
350. But we smuggled in
a few guests to the party
to celebrate with us.Copy !req
351. Did someone order
a prison break?Copy !req
352. Plenty of convicts
to go around.Copy !req
353. Take them
to the dance floor!Copy !req
354. Cheers. Yeah.Copy !req
355. Pass 'em around!
That's willy, pass him!Copy !req
356. Yeah!
Over here.Copy !req
357. Over here. Pass willy.
Pass me willy.Copy !req
358. here you go, willy.Copy !req
359. Oh, crap. This is it.Copy !req
360. Keep doing that.Copy !req
361. Keep doing that.Copy !req
362. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
363. Try dancing harder.Copy !req
364. Is that as hard
as you can dance?Copy !req
365. You're at a party.
You're celebrating!Copy !req
366. Abed, it's 6:00
in the morning.
Okay, thanks.Copy !req
367. Don't you think
you've gotten
enough shots?Copy !req
368. Nobody's partied like
there's no tomorrow yet.Copy !req
369. They keep dancing
like it's today.Copy !req
370. That's okay.Copy !req
371. Are you joking?Copy !req
372. This is the reason
i signed on to this film.Copy !req
373. I think
it's a performance issue.Copy !req
374. I think this needed
some real actors.Copy !req
375. Well,
lesson learned.
Yeah.Copy !req
376. Okay, from the top.
And action!Copy !req
377. What?Copy !req
378. Who are these people?
Professionals.Copy !req
379. Go, go, go!Copy !req
380. Good, dean.
Good, frankie.Copy !req
381. Party!Copy !req
382. Party! No tomorrow, guys.
Come on.Copy !req
383. Hey, mr. Winger.Copy !req
384. You know, i was thinking
for class today,Copy !req
385. Maybe you could, uh...
Hey, hey, what's going on?Copy !req
386. Whoa, whoa, hey!Copy !req
387. Careful now! Put me down!Copy !req
388. well, willy,Copy !req
389. Look at me.Copy !req
390. I'm a murderer.Copy !req
391. Can i be
as cool as you now?Copy !req
392. Huh?Copy !req
393. Willy?Copy !req
394. No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no!Copy !req
395. Willy, talk to me!Copy !req
396. Talk to me!Copy !req
397. I can't see anything.Copy !req
398. Willy, focus on my voice.Copy !req
399. Hey, i'm losing you.Copy !req
400. You're not losing me!Copy !req
401. You are going
to a better place
with a stronger signal!Copy !req
402. W-willy? Willy?Copy !req
403. Willy!Copy !req
404. What's going on
here?
He started it.Copy !req
405. Jeffrey,
you are on sabbatical.Copy !req
406. You can't do that.
Yes, i can!Copy !req
407. Two weeks
paid sabbatical!Copy !req
408. Get him out of here.Copy !req
409. He's banned
from the campus.Copy !req
410. You are on sabbatical!Copy !req
411. Security guard:
You're on sabbatical, sir.Copy !req
412. Yeah, i'll go on my own,
with dignity.Copy !req
413. Something
you should look up!Copy !req
414. I can't look it up!Copy !req
415. You destroyed my device!
And my heart!Copy !req
416. You destroyed his device
and his heart, sir.Copy !req
417. Yeah, i'm going.Copy !req
418. Willy!Copy !req
419. Willy!Copy !req
420. Sorry i'm late.Copy !req
421. I couldn't find
a parking spot for my house.Copy !req
422. Oh, it must be so cool
living in a vehicle, man...Copy !req
423. Wait, where does
your poop go?Copy !req
424. A tank.Copy !req
425. Gross.
Get a house.Copy !req
426. Ben,
aren't you homeless?Copy !req
427. Yeah,
but i poop in a house.Copy !req
428. Whose?Copy !req
429. nice try.Copy !req
430. Annie.Copy !req
431. Britta.Copy !req
432. How's your movie coming?Copy !req
433. Amazing.
Abed's a genius.Copy !req
434. He's actually having
a hard time deciding
what to cut,Copy !req
435. So it's going to be
in two volumes.Copy !req
436. And it's hard to sleep,
but it's worth itCopy !req
437. Because it's a movie...Copy !req
438. About a party...Copy !req
439. Would you like my help?Copy !req
440. yes.Copy !req
441. Have you
learned anything?Copy !req
442. Don't question rules.
Rules are good.Copy !req
443. I'm bad. All hail annie.Copy !req
444. Thank you.
Damn.Copy !req
445. Oh, nice of you
to show up.Copy !req
446. We moved
here for you.Copy !req
447. I didn't ask for this.
Have your meeting at school
without me. I don't care.Copy !req
448. Dean's using
the study room
for the ceremony.Copy !req
449. Wh... The ceremony?
You don't know?Copy !req
450. The dean's making that
convict you murdered
into a professor.Copy !req
451. What?
Why do you care?Copy !req
452. Because the dean
is just doing this
to prove something,Copy !req
453. And it's really stupid.Copy !req
454. The guy's dangerous,
and he's manipulating him.Copy !req
455. Isn't that
what you usually do?Copy !req
456. No! I mean, yes,
but not like that.Copy !req
457. I lie to the dean
for personal gain.Copy !req
458. I wouldn't use him
emotionally.Copy !req
459. I wouldn't mislead him.Copy !req
460. I wouldn't hurt him.Copy !req
461. Have you ever thought
of saying that to the dean?Copy !req
462. Jeff, go to him.Copy !req
463. Going to him.Copy !req
464. Wait, that's the whole point.
I can't go to him.
I can't get on campus.Copy !req
465. and yet
murderers can.Copy !req
466. What have i done?
Murderers
can get on campus.Copy !req
467. I'll need a broom,
a remote control car,Copy !req
468. An ipad and an elaborate,Copy !req
469. Gyroscopically stabilized
servomotor.Copy !req
470. Dude, we're trying
to help jeff here.Copy !req
471. You're acting
kind of spoiled right now.Copy !req
472. Party, party, party, party,
party, party, party, party,Copy !req
473. Party, party, party, party,
party, party, party, party,Copy !req
474. Party, party, party, party,
party, party.Copy !req
475. Cut!Copy !req
476. Abed...Copy !req
477. Britta has
something to say.Copy !req
478. My script is misleading.Copy !req
479. It's impossible to party
like there's no tomorrow.Copy !req
480. But it's based
on a true...Copy !req
481. It's based on my desire
to have a party.Copy !req
482. Parties are just booze,
low lights,Copy !req
483. And loud music,
so people can feel more,
see less,Copy !req
484. And not have to listen
to each other or themselves.Copy !req
485. That's stupid.
Parties are stupid.Copy !req
486. I'm stupid.
You're shooting
a stupid movie.Copy !req
487. That's a wrap!Copy !req
488. Aw!
What?Copy !req
489. All right.
Go on!
We're done here!Copy !req
490. Bye. Bye.Copy !req
491. What's gonna happen to me?Copy !req
492. You're going
to be punishedCopy !req
493. In ways you
won't understandCopy !req
494. For longer than you think
is rational or possible.Copy !req
495. But then one day,Copy !req
496. You'll do something
he likes,
and he'll stop.Copy !req
497. And eventually
you'll either adapt
or lose your mind.Copy !req
498. Okay.Copy !req
499. girls?Copy !req
500. Girls.Copy !req
501. As a prison warden,
i know all too wellCopy !req
502. How rare stories
of true rehabilitation can be.Copy !req
503. But this dean
and this prisonerCopy !req
504. Stand here together todayCopy !req
505. To prove that
the dream is real.Copy !req
506. I'm here for the ceremony.Copy !req
507. Last name?
Geller.
Prisoner id 042098.Copy !req
508. Okay, go on.Copy !req
509. Hi, i'm here
for the ceremony...Copy !req
510. Have a nice night, sir.Copy !req
511. Hmm.Copy !req
512. Dean craig pelton,Copy !req
513. Do you accept responsibility
for any damage incurred
by hiring a felon?Copy !req
514. I do.Copy !req
515. Willy seeber smith,Copy !req
516. Do you accept that
the 13th amendmentCopy !req
517. Abolished slavery
for everyone
but convictsCopy !req
518. And that we have no choice
but to pay youCopy !req
519. 13 per hour or less?Copy !req
520. I do.
Aw.Copy !req
521. Then let us make official
this symbolic union...Copy !req
522. Hold it!Copy !req
523. Dean, i agree
there's no reasonCopy !req
524. You shouldn't give
this guy my job.Copy !req
525. Save it, jeffrey!
I don't want to hear it!
But don't do itCopy !req
526. Before i tell you some things
that i've been getting away
with not saying.Copy !req
527. Somebody get this
maniac out of here.
Quiet, willy.Copy !req
528. Let's do this
by prison rules.Copy !req
529. Say what
you have to say.Copy !req
530. Dean, i like my job.Copy !req
531. I don't mind
coming to work here.Copy !req
532. I feel kind of guilty
when i pretend to be sick,Copy !req
533. And i try to steal
as little as possible.Copy !req
534. Just the basics.Copy !req
535. Pens, coffee filters,
toilet paper,Copy !req
536. And one time,Copy !req
537. An overhead projector
and a roll of carpet.Copy !req
538. But i don't lead you on,
and i never willCopy !req
539. Because i'm not just
a pretty face that
murders peopleCopy !req
540. And tells you
what you want to hear.Copy !req
541. I'm less than that.Copy !req
542. I'm a gorgeous faceCopy !req
543. That works for you
and considers you a friend.Copy !req
544. Aw.
Oh, jeffrey.Copy !req
545. Now, to be fair,Copy !req
546. You guys know
willy's an innocent man,
right?Copy !req
547. You shut your mouth,
warden!Copy !req
548. No, it's true.
His appeal is in motion.Copy !req
549. There's new dna evidence.
He's a good fella.Copy !req
550. Wrongfully convicted.Copy !req
551. You're...
Not a murderer?Copy !req
552. I can explain.Copy !req
553. Oh, how the mighty
have fallen.Copy !req
554. You son of a bitch!Copy !req
555. Wait, let's do this
by community college rules.Copy !req
556. Fight! Fight! Fight!Copy !req
557. Ha ha!Copy !req
558. Go, brooms, go!Copy !req
559. Bring it on.Copy !req
560. It's so violent.Copy !req
561. You punch like a girl!Copy !req
562. Oh!Copy !req
563. Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah?Copy !req
564. Is this what you want?
Here's what i got.Copy !req
565. Come on! Let's do it!Copy !req
566. Oh! Jeffrey!Copy !req
567. Now who's fallen?Copy !req
568. Hey, willy?Copy !req
569. Hey, hey, hey, hey,
whoa, whoa...Copy !req
570. Thanks, dean.Copy !req
571. Dean. Dean!Copy !req
572. Oh, come on.Copy !req
573. No, no.Copy !req
574. No! Stop.Copy !req
575. Way to go, mr. Winger.
Way to go.Copy !req
576. Everybody, i am not
participating in this.Copy !req
577. What the hell kind of school
is this?Copy !req
578. Okay, thanks for coming
on short notice.Copy !req
579. Uh,
is everyone here?Copy !req
580. I think so.Copy !req
581. It's hard to tell
without side cameras.Copy !req
582. Wait, why am i moving?Copy !req
583. Is my custom background
working?Copy !req
584. Wait, i can't...Copy !req
585. It's w-a-s-d to move.
It's been the same since
the invention of the keyboard.Copy !req
586. Okay, nerd.Copy !req
587. As you've heard,
the rehabilitation programCopy !req
588. Has been aborted,
so we lost that money.Copy !req
589. But we no longer
have to build 67 ramps,Copy !req
590. So we should
break even.Copy !req
591. Can you all hear that?Copy !req
592. There's a kid outside throwing
tennis balls against my rv!Copy !req
593. i think i'm
fr... En... You're...Copy !req
594. Coffee sho...
Corporate thieves... I...Copy !req
595. Was it really necessary
for us to use these things
for this meeting?Copy !req
596. Yeah, i think there's
something wrong with mine.Copy !req
597. I'll get
a better connection.Copy !req
598. It wasn't entirely
necessary,Copy !req
599. But the prison is selling
these units at a discount,Copy !req
600. So i thought i'd
run their offer
by the school.Copy !req
601. What are you doing?
Get out!Copy !req
602. Mine's broken.Copy !req
603. No, it's not.
Bad connect...Copy !req
604. There's a janitor on it
right now.Copy !req
605. C... Other... Go...Copy !req
606. i think
britta's being arrested.Copy !req
607. I have every right to be here.
You think...Copy !req
608. Scared of you,
but i'm not!Copy !req
609. all right, that's it!Copy !req
610. Do you know how much
windows cost,
john mcenroe?Copy !req
611. Get off my lap.
Stop fighting technology!Copy !req
612. I vote yes. We should
get these. They're cool.Copy !req
613. I vote no.
People shouldn't have to be
everywhere at once.Copy !req
614. Sometimes we need
to do our own thing.Copy !req
615. Chang,
where are you?Copy !req
616. I'm doing my own thing.Copy !req
617. Why is there
tile behind you?Copy !req
618. Please tell me you're
not doing the thingCopy !req
619. I think
you're doing.
Ew.Copy !req
620. That's the same tile we have
in our apartment's bathroom.Copy !req
621. What? Chang!Copy !req
622. I gotta go!Copy !req
623. Oh, my god.Copy !req
624. Yeah,
i gotta go too.
Oh, jeffrey!Copy !req
625. I take it we're passing
on their offer.Copy !req
626. No, they're just amateurs.
Initiating override protocol.Copy !req
627. All in favor
of this purchase?Copy !req
628. Affirmative.
Very well.Copy !req
629. Abeds, commence
with world domination.
Eradicate.Copy !req
630. Eradicate!
Eradicate! Eradicate!Copy !req
631. Eradicate! Eradicate!
Eradicate!Copy !req
632. Eradicate.
Eradicate. Eradicate.Copy !req