1. Wow, they found a way to make
the Human Being even creepier.
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2. Covering him in icicles.
I think it's festive.
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3. Yeah, my favorite
Christmas tradition
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4. is trimming the Hellraiser.
Guys, found something
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5. we can watch together for
Christmas this year.
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6. The long-lost 1981 Inspector
Spacetime Holiday Special.
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7. Runtime two-and-a-half hours.
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8. So critically reviled
that after it aired,
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9. the creator
had his knighthood revoked.
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10. That sounds terrible.
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11. I wanna watch it twice,
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12. but I'm spending Christmas
with my relatives.
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13. Or rather, I'm spending
the day with them
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14. while they refuse
to acknowledge Christmas.
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15. You Jehovah Witnesses,
so severe.
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16. Andre and I are spending
Christmas giving gifts
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17. to the more persuadable
of our Jewish friends.
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18. I wouldn't call a visit
from your pastor a gift.
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19. And don't bother this year. I'll
be at the movies with my bubbe.
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20. You're not taking
both of them?
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21. Well, one's dead.
What?
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22. I was looking forward
to hanging out with you.
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23. This semester's been
so long, dark, angry.
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24. I was thinking
we could have some fun.
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25. What we've learned
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26. is that attempts
to make the holidays brighter
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27. give them
a certain darkness.
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28. I don't know
if I agree with that.
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29. Actually, maybe I do.
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30. Merry Christmas, Greendale.
Glee Club here,
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31. reminding you that
our Christmas pageant is coming.
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32. Next stop, regionals.
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33. What are regionals? They never
stop talking about it.
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34. Please tell me we were
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35. not this obnoxious
the year we filled in.
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36. T-minus five seconds till the
hip-hop remix. Four, three...
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37. You're awfully quiet,
Jeff.
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38. Nobody hates Glee Club
more than you.
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39. I'm just content to sit back
and enjoy the show.
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40. And now our pop music mash-up.
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41. Elton Lil Jon Lennon.
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42. Kick it.
Hey, tiny dancer.
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43. Okay.
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44. Stop!
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45. Cease and desist.
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46. Glee Club, meet ASCAP.
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47. Protecting musical
copyrights since 1914.
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48. They've received
an anonymous tip
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49. unlicensed material
was being performed here
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50. without the artists' permission.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
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51. Glee Club
just became History Club.
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52. Oh, no! No!
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53. No!
Why?
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54. My soul is dead.
Oh!
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55. Okay, anyone asks,
we were never here.
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56. Why?
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57. The Glee Club
is at Westside Hospital,
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58. recuperating from a collective
nervous breakdown.
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59. This is the second Glee Club
we've lost in two years.
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60. We might have to cancel
the Christmas pageant.
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61. And to think they were
this close to regionals.
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62. What the hell are regionals?
They're this close, Pierce.
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63. Anyway, an old friend
wants to talk to you.
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64. Your favorite Glee Club
instructor,
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65. the dreamy and boyish
Mr. Cory Radison.
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66. Uh— I thought I told you
to call me Mr. Rad.
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67. Or Cory. Just don't
call me late to dinner.
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68. Unless you're serving
Brussels sprouts.
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69. Aah! I won't, I promise.
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70. This guy's like human froyo.
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71. Look, when the last Glee Club
died in that bus crash,
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72. you guys stepped up.
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73. You were the best gosh-darn
emergency substitutes
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74. I've ever worked with.
Well, this time,
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75. I'm not gonna kid you.
It won't be easy.
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76. Oh.
Your best won't be good enough.
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77. And 10 times your best
will be so bad,
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78. I will yell at you.
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79. But I promise,
if we dig down—
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80. Pass.
Yeah.
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81. Okay.
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82. Don't you hurt him.
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83. Mr. Rad?
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84. I feel like
we let Mr. Rad down.
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85. He let himself down
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86. when he left the house
wearing a sweater vest.
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87. I guess we did
have fun last time.
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88. Did we?
I can hardly remember.
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89. It's all a weird,
happy, musical fog.
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90. It was like being on ecstasy,
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91. only instead of having
pointless conversations
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92. and dancing like idiots—
Wait.
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93. It was exactly
like being on ecstasy.
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94. That's what worries me
about this guy.
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95. He's equal parts
Hanson and Manson.
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96. Nobody let him corner you until
he is out of recruitment mode
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97. or next thing you know,
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98. we'll all be caring about
Christmas pageants
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99. and regionals.
You're right.
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100. Agreed.
Gotcha.
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101. What the hell are regionals?
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102. What are you still doing here?
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103. I thought I'd give her
one more tinkle
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104. before I took down
decorations.
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105. No Glee Club means no pageant,
means no Christmas.
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106. Trying to make
things brighter
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107. just would've
made more darkness.
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108. That sounds like a certain
ex-lawyer talking.
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109. I see a lot of myself in you,
Abed.
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110. You care about your friends.
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111. And you wish they cared more
about each other.
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112. That's not an easy position
to be in sometimes.
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113. I want my friends to have
a merry Christmas.
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114. Well, maybe you could start
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115. by giving them the greatest
Christmas gift of all.
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116. What's that?
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117. How's your piano
still playing this song?
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118. Glee!
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119. Thank you, Mr. Rad.
Don't break down the set yet.
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120. I'm gonna try to get my friends
to be in the Christmas pageant.
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121. Thank you, Abed.
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122. Thank you.
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123. Merry Christmas, Troy.
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124. Abed, you look gleeful.
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125. Don't you think
it might actually
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126. be fun doing this pageant?
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127. Abed, we hate the Glee Club.
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128. Yeah. I guess
I just like liking things.
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129. Abed.
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130. Look, you know
I'd do anything you did, but—
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131. I'm a Jehovah's Witness.
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132. We're not supposed
to celebrate Christmas.
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133. I've been thinking about that.
I may have a loophole.
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134. What if you were
a Jehovah's Witness
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135. merely pretending
to be into Christmas,
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136. gathering clues to take down
the holidays from within?
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137. You mean like a spy
investigating,
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138. making it seem
like I'm celebrating,
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139. when actually I'm infiltrating
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140. Santa's operation?
Yoip!
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141. Hey, guys.
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142. Rapping?
Yep. Wanna join us?
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143. Totally.
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144. Wait. You guys never
let me rap with you.
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145. We're gonna need
all hands on deck
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146. if we're gonna
go to regionals.
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147. Cool.
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148. I just need to study though.
In my room.
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149. So have fun.
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150. And then this morning I could
hear them in the bathroom
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151. doing country mash-ups.
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152. And they won't stop talking
about regionals.
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153. Maybe it's nothing.
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154. Yeah, if nothing
wears a sweater vest
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155. and seems
aggressively asexual.
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156. Let's all study for our final
in our old—
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157. Where's our table?
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158. Who's that guy?
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159. You guys all see him too, right?
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160. Hey, guys.
Merry Christmas, y'all.
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161. Sorry about the rearrangement.
We need this space to rehearse.
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162. But we're not
doing the pageant.
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163. Look, guys,
I hear your negativity,
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164. but also, can I counter
with this? Who hates glee?
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165. Listen to how that sounds.
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166. "Glee" literally
means "glee."
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167. Oh, stop it. Not liking Glee
Club doesn't make us bullies.
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168. And implying that
is reverse bullying.
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169. Good point. Sing about it?
No!
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170. I understand them,
but you, Pierce?
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171. Your generation
invented music.
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172. I don't know about invented.
Perfected, maybe.
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173. Pierce, they're just
trying to pander
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174. to your demographic's documented
historical vanity. Resist.
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175. Abed, wasn't Santa Claus himself
part of Pierce's peer group?
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176. I believe so.
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177. One, two, three, four.
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178. Aah!
Ow!
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179. Pierce is on board.
That's great.
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180. For the Christmas queen,
we can get Shirley or Annie.
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181. They both have really strong
voices, natural vibrato.
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182. There's also Britta.
Britta's adorable.
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183. So Shirley or Annie
for the Christmas queen.
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184. There's a leaf on Britta's head.
She's playing a tree.
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185. And it's gonna be so fun.
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186. Mr. Radison, who authorized you
to rearrange our study room?
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187. Who do you think you are?
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188. I'll tell you.
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189. I'm scared to go
into the study room.
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190. So many top hats in there.
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191. I wish there was a way
we could stop all this.
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192. I realize the stakes
aren't that high.
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193. That just makes it extra scary.
I know.
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194. Jeff, I think I know
what Mr. Rad is up to.
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195. There's something
you have to see.
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196. Mr. Rad plans to get every
single member of our study group
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197. to join the Glee Club.
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198. I don't know how
that's gonna happen.
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199. I'll show you.
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200. What—?
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201. This is just one of
the many costume changes
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202. I'll be doing
during the show.
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203. We're a shoo-in for regionals,
right?
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204. Annie, you too?
This is beneath you.
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205. You are an intelligent woman.
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206. Also, you're Jewish.
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207. I guess I have a lot to learn
about holiday tradition.
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208. Is this a bit?
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209. Annie.
Oof! Oh-ho.
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210. Eventually you hit a point
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211. of diminishing returns
on the sexiness.
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212. What's a dimin...?
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213. Stay back, old man.
Don't even hum.
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214. Shirley, Britta,
I have no intention of singing.
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215. Good.
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216. I can't speak for these angels,
though.
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217. Oh.
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218. Shirley,
you need to get out of here.
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219. They're not gonna tell you.
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220. That's what they do.
That's what they do.
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221. Oh, I gotta tell the babies.
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222. Oh, Jeff, thank God.
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223. They've got Shirley.
It's just you and me now.
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224. Jeff?
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225. Guys, I am swelling
with pride.
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226. You stepped up and you saved
the Christmas pageant.
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227. And it's all thanks to you,
Mr. Rad.
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228. I just hope we can repay you
by making regionals.
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229. I thought
this was regionals.
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230. Don't let my confusion
undercut their importance.
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231. Places, everyone.
Oh!
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232. Great.
Okay, scooch, scooch, scooch.
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233. I could not have done this
without your skills, Abed.
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234. I was happy to do it.
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235. I thought we were gonna end
the semester on a dark note.
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236. I'm glad we're singing together
instead. It's been a good time.
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237. It's going to continue
to be a good time.
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238. If we win regionals,
it's straight on to sectionals.
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239. And then a week later is semis,
then semi-regionals.
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240. Then regional semis,
then national lower-zone semis.
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241. Oh.
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242. But I kind of
thought this was,
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243. you know,
just for Christmas.
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244. No, no, no.
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245. This is forever.
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246. This is what we do now.
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247. This is who we are.
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248. Britta.
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249. Is this about regionals?
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250. I talked to Cory, he needs
you to be the Mouse King.
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251. Me? But I'm supposed
to be a mute tree.
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252. It's an emergency.
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253. This will help us
get to regionals.
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254. I knew it.
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255. Wait. What are the lyrics?
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256. They're in your heart, Britta.
Right. Duh-doy.
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257. What—?
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258. Oh, Britta's in this?
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259. No. She's ruining it.
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260. No, stop, stop, stop.
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261. What are you doing?
Get off the stage.
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262. I'm singing my heart's song.
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263. Get off the stage
and never sing again.
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264. You are the worst.
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265. Hey!
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266. You do not get
to call Britta the worst.
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267. Yeah!
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268. Mr. Radison, I think it's fine.
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269. Greendale is an
all-inclusive school.
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270. Why don't we let Britta
sing her awkward song?
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271. Yeah!
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272. No, no, no!
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273. This show is supposed to be
gleeful and bright and fun,
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274. and you can let me do that or
there can be another bus crash!
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275. Well, figuratively. Heh-heh.
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276. I'm not saying
"I killed the last Glee Club."
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277. I'm saying you not
listening to me
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278. is like metaphorically cutting
the brake lines on your own—
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279. Look, Kings of Leon.
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280. What did he say?
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281. Did Mr. Rad kill
the last Glee Club?
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282. And to think
I trusted him enough
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283. to captain a magic carpet
in that dream I had last night.
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284. Maybe Jeff's right.
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285. Forcing things to be bright
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286. makes darkness
underneath darker.
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287. This is all my fault
for insisting we do the pageant.
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288. Sorry.
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289. Merry Christmas.
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290. I guess I'll just see you guys
after the holidays.
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291. Happy Time Day, Reggie.
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292. It is tradition
to give one's constable a gift
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293. at the end of
each orbital cycle.
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294. Oh, thank you, inspector.
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295. Blimey! A hologram.
Mm-hm.
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296. Let's activate it
and view the performance.
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297. This is terrible.
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298. We decided we wanted
to spend the holiday together.
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299. It's been a dark semester.
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300. I basically killed a guy.
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301. And I kind of attacked you guys
with a fire ax.
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302. I'm thinking about
seeing a new shrink.
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303. What?
Don't.
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304. Holy crap.
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305. Look how terrible
this Christmas special is.
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306. Ho, ho, ho.
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307. Merry Time Day!
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308. No, no— What—?
No, no, no. No!
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309. No!
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