1. Weird,Copy !req
2. how we only sing the last two words?
What happening to the birthday part?Copy !req
3. Troy's a Jehovah's witness.
He doesn't celebrate birthdays.Copy !req
4. We did our best to keep
the language on the cake.Copy !req
5. "Hello during a random dessert,Copy !req
6. "the month and day
of which coincide numericallyCopy !req
7. with your expulsion from a uterus. "Copy !req
8. - You guys, I never cry, but...
- All right.Copy !req
9. Happy expulsion, Troy,Copy !req
10. but after cake,
we cram for realsies.Copy !req
11. Guys, finals are coming up.Copy !req
12. This group is starting to use
special occasions to avoid studying.Copy !req
13. Last week we had fondue and played boggle
'cause Shirley's niece took her bath.Copy !req
14. - With bubbles.
- Thanks.Copy !req
15. - It's a milestone.
- Funny, 'cause last weekCopy !req
16. was my birthday,
and nobody noticed and nobody cared.Copy !req
17. You don't remember
the huge party we threw?Copy !req
18. We need to talk
about those pain killers you're taking.Copy !req
19. - That was a huge party.
- It was the best party of my life!Copy !req
20. Gotcha!Copy !req
21. Of course I remember my birthday.
What a party.Copy !req
22. - You still owe me for the cake deposit.
- You think I don't know that?Copy !req
23. - Feygnasse Team -Copy !req
24. La Fabrique ::.Copy !req
25. 2x10: Mixology CertificationCopy !req
26. Kick puncher Detroit!
No way! This is sold out everywhere!Copy !req
27. No. I got a cousin in Detroit.
They're not crazy about it up there.Copy !req
28. This is how you turn 20.
Thanks!Copy !req
29. - There's strawberries under there.
- Let me, help you with that.Copy !req
30. I broke my legs, not my gender.Copy !req
31. Whilwe're...
Watching this unfold,Copy !req
32. some birthday facts to enjoy.Copy !req
33. Troy's birthday is tomorrow,
December 4th.Copy !req
34. Also born that day, Tyra Banks...
Marisa Tomei...Copy !req
35. And French cinematographer
Claude Renoir.Copy !req
36. Yes! Jackpot!Copy !req
37. On the Chinese calendar,
Troy is a horse.Copy !req
38. Like me.Copy !req
39. "Purposeful, self-possessed,
and gregarious. "Copy !req
40. No. I'm pretty sure I'm a snake.Copy !req
41. I remember because I'm determined,
self-possessed, and mendacious.Copy !req
42. Pierce, what is this?
What are you doing? Explain yourself.Copy !req
43. Who made this crappy cake anyway?Copy !req
44. - A cake maker. At a cake store.
- They did it wrong.Copy !req
45. Troy, we're 1990.
We're horses.Copy !req
46. - I was born in '89.
- Then...Copy !req
47. You were born 21 years ago.Copy !req
48. Which would make me 20,
'cause everyone is 10 for two years.Copy !req
49. Because fifth grade is really hard
for every... one.Copy !req
50. How many lies have I been living!Copy !req
51. Troy, do you realize
at midnight you are turning 21Copy !req
52. as in "the legal drinking age"?Copy !req
53. This party just became unacceptable
we're going out.Copy !req
54. But you were just Complaining
about us having too many parties.Copy !req
55. - Too many lame ones. This is real.
- What makes it real?Copy !req
56. Shirley, think of it
as Troy taking his first bath,Copy !req
57. only the bubbles are his manhood.Copy !req
58. Yes. I wanna bathe in manhood.Copy !req
59. I'm taking you to I street.Copy !req
60. Douche street.Copy !req
61. Of course you hate cool bars.Copy !req
62. I don't suppose
you've ever even been to I street.Copy !req
63. No. But I also haven't been
to Beirut.Copy !req
64. But I'm sure I will go one day,Copy !req
65. Because I hear they have lots
of important cultural...Copy !req
66. Unlike I street, which is douchey.Copy !req
67. - Let's hear your great suggestions.
- The red door.Copy !req
68. Oh, yeah, the red door!
The red hipster.Copy !req
69. Not hipster.Copy !req
70. Hipsters haven't discovered it yet.
It's underound.Copy !req
71. Why don't we go someplace fun
like peg leg Pablo's?Copy !req
72. - They serve virgin mudslides.
- Those are milk shakes, Shirley.Copy !req
73. All you think about is yourselves.Copy !req
74. Think about me. I'm 19.
I can't get into bars.Copy !req
75. Okay, well...Copy !req
76. Have fun.Copy !req
77. - Fine. I'll get Annie an ID.
- A fake ID.?Copy !req
78. A Real. It just won't be yours.Copy !req
79. I will see you at the red door.Copy !req
80. We're not going
to red poet's society.Copy !req
81. We're not going
to douche street either.Copy !req
82. Count of three,
name the least offensive barCopy !req
83. you've ever been to.
One, two, three.Copy !req
84. Flannahan's hole.Copy !req
85. - Done. Troy, you ride with me?
- Do you even have to ask?Copy !req
86. - Pierce, do you wanna ride in my van?
- I'm not a disabled.Copy !req
87. I don't need people helping meCopy !req
88. Do normal things and doting over me...
Why don't you just leave...Copy !req
89. Okay!
I'll beat you there.Copy !req
90. I don't think this girl
looks very much like me.Copy !req
91. - She's a white brunette.
- So is Anne Hathaway.Copy !req
92. Go on?Copy !req
93. What's your friend doing
with a stack of other people's IDS?Copy !req
94. I don't know,
sometimes people sell their IDCopy !req
95. when they're leaving the state
and need cash.Copy !req
96. So she's a drifter.Copy !req
97. A floater.Copy !req
98. An urchin.Copy !req
99. Caroline Decker
from Corpus Christi, Texas.Copy !req
100. Texas?Copy !req
101. - Do I need an accent?
- You don't need an accent.Copy !req
102. - Howdy, y'all. I'm Caroline Decker.
- Please don't do that.Copy !req
103. I guar-un-tee!Copy !req
104. That's Cajun.Copy !req
105. - I should research Corpus Christi.
- Annie, relax.Copy !req
106. I'm not a relaxed person, Britta.
I think ahead.Copy !req
107. I prepare.
I don't improvise my life like...Copy !req
108. Caroline Decker,Copy !req
109. who probably has really bad credit
and an unfinished mermaid tattoo.Copy !req
110. - What?
- Flannahan's hole is closed.Copy !req
111. That's not a...Copy !req
112. I'm not being clever.
I mean it's out of business.Copy !req
113. That's what they get
for trying to please everyone.Copy !req
114. - So now what?
- There's a place at third and water.Copy !req
115. It's fun, divey,
but not staph infection divey.Copy !req
116. It's either got a gross name
or an ironically fancy one.Copy !req
117. Possibly both.Copy !req
118. The ballroom. Good.
Go to third and water.Copy !req
119. Wait, what?Copy !req
120. - That wasn't the deal!
- Shirley's pushing back.Copy !req
121. Why, 'cause they don't have
plastic menus and milk shakes?Copy !req
122. Don't repeat that, you goon!Copy !req
123. Jeez. Look, just...Copy !req
124. the women are your problem,
and the men are going to the ballroom.Copy !req
125. And now I guess I am being clever.Copy !req
126. So... Plastic menus are bad?Copy !req
127. See, this is the kinda stuff
I need to learn.Copy !req
128. Plastic menus seems like
a great idea to meCopy !req
129. for when you spill something on them,
and your mom says,Copy !req
130. "Troy, you're ruining fuddruckers
for everyone. "Copy !req
131. You're entering
the next chapter of your life.Copy !req
132. Sadly, it's the final chapter,
but it's also the longest.Copy !req
133. And if you play it right, the best.Copy !req
134. You and I...
We're just two guys now.Copy !req
135. Peers. Equals.Copy !req
136. So awesome. Maybe later
you'll let me drive your car.Copy !req
137. Hello, former enemy.Copy !req
138. He's 21 at midnight.
Cool?Copy !req
139. Yeah. Happy birthday.Copy !req
140. I don't like this place.Copy !req
141. You made that clear, Shirley.
Oy vey.Copy !req
142. - Caroline Decker from Corpus Christi.
- Annie, you don't need an accent.Copy !req
143. If my ID says Texas,
they'll be suspicious.Copy !req
144. They're not gonna question your ID,
'cause you're a hot girl.Copy !req
145. We're good for business.
The hotter you are,Copy !req
146. the more they'll risk the fine.Copy !req
147. - Howdy?
- Go ahead.Copy !req
148. Can't be too careful.Copy !req
149. I understand.Copy !req
150. Shirley!
Welcome back!Copy !req
151. You don't know me.Copy !req
152. - This place is all right!
- Yeah. It's okay.Copy !req
153. These pictures must be
of all the regulars.Copy !req
154. You think
I can make it up to this wall?Copy !req
155. I don't say this often, troy, but...
Dream a little smaller.Copy !req
156. Can I get you guys anything?Copy !req
157. - I'm okay!
- Another MacAllan. Neat.Copy !req
158. - Vodka. Neat. Four olives.
- I'm waiting till midnight.Copy !req
159. Sweetie?Copy !req
160. Water!Copy !req
161. - Where's that accent from?
- Corpus Christi. Texas.Copy !req
162. - 78418.
- What are you doin' here in town?Copy !req
163. Not much, I reckon...
Just driftin',Copy !req
164. floatin', Spittin' in the wind.Copy !req
165. General waywardness.Copy !req
166. All righty.Copy !req
167. Annie, you're in the bar.
You don't have to be from Texas anymore.Copy !req
168. I don't know how it works.
I'm not a barfly.Copy !req
169. They have Asteroids.
Slide out.Copy !req
170. I'm gonna go
take a little look around.Copy !req
171. Me too.Copy !req
172. - Don't accept any drinks.
- Or invitations to the bathroom.Copy !req
173. So what are you gonna order
for your first legal drink?Copy !req
174. - What should I get?
- All you want.Copy !req
175. - No wrong answers.
- I like beer.Copy !req
176. - Don't order beer.
- You've had beer.Copy !req
177. - What should I get?
- What do you think you might like?Copy !req
178. - It's your world now.
- Follow your heart.Copy !req
179. My uncle Carl played a role in my life.
He taught me how to throw a football.Copy !req
180. He passed away this year.Copy !req
181. His favorite drink was
a seven and seven.Copy !req
182. - Not this.
- That's an awful.Copy !req
183. That's a high school drink
for girls.Copy !req
184. Actually, I'll have a root beer
instead of that water.Copy !req
185. - Sure thing.
- Thank you kindly.Copy !req
186. Y'all are so nice in this town.Copy !req
187. I'm Caroline.
From Corpus Christi.Copy !req
188. Grew up on a trout farm.Copy !req
189. Deedly-do.Copy !req
190. Careful.Copy !req
191. You score any higher on this thing,Copy !req
192. the Rylans are gonna recruit you
to fight against the Ko-dan empire.Copy !req
193. The last starfighter.Copy !req
194. Did you get
the 25th anniversary blu-ray?Copy !req
195. Was scorpius half-scarran,
half-peacekeeper?Copy !req
196. Frell, yes,
I got Starfighter on blu-ray.Copy !req
197. You're a fan of the Sci-Fi
original series Farscape.Copy !req
198. Can I buy you a drink?Copy !req
199. You got some id?Copy !req
200. Very funny, punk.
Get outta my way!Copy !req
201. I don't know how people like you
even get jobs today.Copy !req
202. Do you need help, man?Copy !req
203. You'd like that, wouldn't you?Copy !req
204. A little turning of the tables.Copy !req
205. - The turning of what tables?
- I don't know! Leave me alone!Copy !req
206. So I punched her.Copy !req
207. Right in the face.Copy !req
208. Your probation officer?Copy !req
209. - Didn't you get in trouble?
- Hell, yes, I got in trouble!Copy !req
210. Wasn't the first time.
Won't be the last.Copy !req
211. I'm not exactly known
for my sound judgment.Copy !req
212. Back in Corpus christi,
they call me capricious Caroline.Copy !req
213. What's capricious mean?Copy !req
214. Probably means I'm...Copy !req
215. too busy livin' life
to be learnin' $5-words.Copy !req
216. Hot damn!Copy !req
217. With an aged scotch, never use ice.Copy !req
218. Never use ice.
Got it.Copy !req
219. - Why?
- Destroys it.Copy !req
220. At most, what you want, two drops
of spring water. Activates the flavor.Copy !req
221. Good lord. Do they have the rules
to high-maintenance poser drinkingCopy !req
222. on the wall at I street?Copy !req
223. - Do they?
- Poser drinking?Copy !req
224. Hey, miss vodka, need four olives.
What's that called,Copy !req
225. - the too-cool-to-care-tini?
- Is it?Copy !req
226. I bet the forced starkness
of that drink orderCopy !req
227. turns a lotta horn-rimmed heads
at the red door.Copy !req
228. I can't wait to understand
these arguments!Copy !req
229. Hey, y'all, another round for ya.
Everybody holdin' up?Copy !req
230. I'll be back in two shakes
of a rabbit's ass.Copy !req
231. Who was that?Copy !req
232. I gotta go see a woman
about the female equivalent of a horse.Copy !req
233. Classy.
Way to show Troy the ropes.Copy !req
234. Shut up, I street.Copy !req
235. That woman is a hurricane.Copy !req
236. Hurricanes are bad.Copy !req
237. I know.Copy !req
238. I always thought
the wormhole Crichton can fell throughCopy !req
239. moved him across not only space
but also time,Copy !req
240. so the sebaceans
would be our future selvesCopy !req
241. and Crichton is longing
for a planet that no longer exists.Copy !req
242. You're really nursing that beer.Copy !req
243. What kind of wormhole would it beCopy !req
244. if it could only move
within the same galaxy on the same day?Copy !req
245. Speaking of wormholes,Copy !req
246. what do you say we use one to...Copy !req
247. teleport this conversation
someplace a little more private?Copy !req
248. That doesn't make any sense.Copy !req
249. Wormholes and teleportation
are two different things.Copy !req
250. - That's what I've been talking.
- I noticed.Copy !req
251. Cheers.Copy !req
252. I followed that band phish,
spells it with "ph".Copy !req
253. I lived in parking lots
where they played.Copy !req
254. I don't even like their music.
I did it to see if I could do it.Copy !req
255. Guess what.
I could!Copy !req
256. - So what now?
- I dunno!Copy !req
257. Even if I planned it, plans fall off me
like chicken crap off an armadilla.Copy !req
258. Annie's the one that plans things,
not me.Copy !req
259. Annie's my friend.
She goes to school here.Copy !req
260. Thinks she's got it all figured out.Copy !req
261. She wants to major
in healthcare management.Copy !req
262. What does that mean?Copy !req
263. - No idea.
- I'll tell you what it means.Copy !req
264. It means a master's degree,
followed by an internship.Copy !req
265. She's got the next 15 years of her life
all mapped out,Copy !req
266. and all she gotta do now
is just follow it or screw it up.Copy !req
267. - Another soda?
- Actually, gimme a screwdriver.Copy !req
268. I got no place to be.Copy !req
269. What am I... Annie?Copy !req
270. The 2nd time you watch the 1st season,
is better than the 3rd season,Copy !req
271. and the 4th season,
when you watch it the 5th time...Copy !req
272. What's your name?
Abed, I'm Robert.Copy !req
273. Would you like to have...Copy !req
274. gay sex...
with me?Copy !req
275. No, thank you.Copy !req
276. Okay, so...
What is wrong with you,Copy !req
277. that you can sit here
this whole timeCopy !req
278. and never pick up on the fact
that a man is hitting on you?Copy !req
279. - I picked up on it after a while.
- You actually...Copy !req
280. I really like
talking about Farscape.Copy !req
281. - It's a really good show.
- Stargate's better.Copy !req
282. Battery depleted.Copy !req
283. That is wrong!Copy !req
284. Wait.Copy !req
285. Hey, there!Copy !req
286. What you been up to?Copy !req
287. I was just prayingCopy !req
288. for these poor souls
in these photographs.Copy !req
289. That's nice, but...Copy !req
290. you missed one.Copy !req
291. I found it in the ladies room.Copy !req
292. - Give that to me.
- No, no, come on!Copy !req
293. Don't feel bad.
This makes us like you way more.Copy !req
294. - You think this is really funny.
- Yeah, a little.Copy !req
295. I had some bad years.Copy !req
296. With a chaser.Copy !req
297. Come on. It's a funny picture,
because you act so perfect all the time.Copy !req
298. And because you look like a zombie,Copy !req
299. But it's not funny when you're sad.Copy !req
300. We're on your team, relax.
Sit down, it's my birthday.Copy !req
301. Give it to me.Copy !req
302. Give it to me.Copy !req
303. See you all on Monday.Copy !req
304. Blue town.Copy !req
305. Shirley. Wait.Copy !req
306. - Nothing. Get out of my way!
- I can't get out of your way.Copy !req
307. I'm stuck in this pl...
The chair broke...Copy !req
308. I mean, I can't get...Copy !req
309. Could you please help me?Copy !req
310. Pretty please?Copy !req
311. Thank you, Shirley.Copy !req
312. You're welcome, jackass.Copy !req
313. It's my birthday.Copy !req
314. Technically, I'm not allowed to drink
for another 45 seconds.Copy !req
315. It'll be 30 seconds
by the time I'm done saying this.Copy !req
316. - But can I have a seven and seven?
- It's on the house.Copy !req
317. Happy birthday, kid.Copy !req
318. I prefer that to avatar.
I'd rather have my eyes gouged out.Copy !req
319. Imagine the hurt locker
as radio play.Copy !req
320. It would be fascinating
and thrilling!Copy !req
321. Go see the other play!Copy !req
322. Big boy.
Big, big boy.Copy !req
323. You're my big boy.Copy !req
324. I think I owe you a birthday.Copy !req
325. I'm cool.Copy !req
326. I always wanted to drive this thing.Copy !req
327. This is my car?Copy !req
328. - Don't crash it.
- I'm not gonna crash it!Copy !req
329. Crash it, Troy.Copy !req
330. Go to sleep.Copy !req
331. Crash his car, Troy!Copy !req
332. Seems like a really dark chapter
in our group story.Copy !req
333. - Go to sleep, Abed.
- Cool.Copy !req
334. That's the place
that we shoulda gone to tonight!Copy !req
335. I street. Exactly.Copy !req
336. It's the red door, stupid!Copy !req
337. - You see a sign that says I street?
- I street is too cool to have a sign.Copy !req
338. It's called I street
after the street it's on.Copy !req
339. The red door's on I street.Copy !req
340. I street has a red door.Copy !req
341. It's the same bar?Copy !req
342. You two have been saying
one bar is lameCopy !req
343. and the other one is awesome,
all night...Copy !req
344. and it's the same bar?Copy !req
345. He probably was around Friday nights,
which was lame.Copy !req
346. You wish!Copy !req
347. Stop. Just stop.Copy !req
348. I just spent the last two yearsCopy !req
349. thinking that you guys
knew more than me about life,Copy !req
350. and I just found out
that you guys are just as dumb as me.Copy !req
351. Duh-doy.Copy !req
352. Got it.Copy !req
353. Duh-doy.Copy !req
354. You can take me home first.
I only live a few blocks from here.Copy !req
355. You do?Copy !req
356. This is a really
terrible neighborhood.Copy !req
357. This is my apartment.Copy !req
358. Weird night, huh?Copy !req
359. Alcohol makes people sad.Copy !req
360. It's like the lifetime movies
of beverages.Copy !req
361. I pretended to be
a different person.Copy !req
362. Abed does that three times a week.Copy !req
363. But I did it because
I didn't wanna be me.Copy !req
364. I did it because...Copy !req
365. I'm not sure who I am.Copy !req
366. We went to school together for 4 years,
and you didn't even know me.Copy !req
367. But I know you now.Copy !req
368. You're Annie.Copy !req
369. You like puzzles and...Copy !req
370. little monsters on your pencil
and some guy named Mark Ruffalo.Copy !req
371. You're a fierce competitor
and a sore loser.Copy !req
372. And you expect everybody
to be better than who they are,Copy !req
373. and you expect yourself
to be better than everyone.Copy !req
374. Which is cool.Copy !req
375. Good night.Copy !req
376. Guess everyone's gonna be
pretty embarrassed on Monday?Copy !req
377. Everybody just got a little bit drunk.
Nobody did anything that bad, right?Copy !req
378. No, wait.Copy !req
379. What are we doing?Copy !req
380. - What are we doing?
- This is a bad idea, right?Copy !req
381. I flew off the handle earlier.Copy !req
382. I apologize.Copy !req
383. - They were making out.
- Abed, why would you say that?Copy !req
384. Why would you do it in front of me?
I'm not a coat rack.Copy !req
385. No one likes a tattle tail.Copy !req
386. Happy birthday, Troy.Copy !req
387. Thanks.Copy !req
388. You're a man now.Copy !req
389. - I don't think this will be big enough.
- Just try it-we're so close!Copy !req
390. All right. Breathe in.Copy !req
391. Arms.Copy !req
392. There we go.Copy !req
393. - 157!
- We did it!Copy !req
394. That you?Copy !req
395. Little help?Copy !req
396. - Hurry. I think it's a girl!
- Left side or right side?Copy !req
397. - Left side.
- Got it. Tell me when I'm close.Copy !req