1. To you!Copy !req
2. That was weird.Copy !req
3. How can we only sing the last two words?
What happening to the birthday part?Copy !req
4. Well, you know Troy's a Jehovah's witness.
He doesn't celebrate birthdays.Copy !req
5. Annie and I did our best did our best to keep
the language on the cake compliantCopy !req
6. "Hello during a random dessert,Copy !req
7. the month and day
of which coincide numericallyCopy !req
8. with your expulsion from a uterus."Copy !req
9. - You guys, I never cry, but...
- All right.Copy !req
10. Happy expulsion, Troy,Copy !req
11. but after cake,
we cram for realsies.Copy !req
12. Guys, finals are coming up.Copy !req
13. Yeah, this group is starting to use
special occasions to avoid studying.Copy !req
14. I mean, last week we had fondue and played boggle
because Shirley's niece took her bath.Copy !req
15. - With bubbles.
- Thank you.Copy !req
16. - It's a milestone.
- Funny, because last weekCopy !req
17. was my birthday,
and nobody noticed and nobody cared.Copy !req
18. Pierce...Copy !req
19. You don't remember
the huge party we threw?Copy !req
20. We need to talk
about those pain killers you're taking.Copy !req
21. Because I don't think
you're remembering anything.Copy !req
22. - That was a huge party.
- It was the best party of my life!Copy !req
23. Gotcha!Copy !req
24. Of course I remember my birthday.
What a party.Copy !req
25. - Yeah, you still owe me for the cake deposit.
- Oh, you think I don't know that?Copy !req
26. Troy...Copy !req
27. Troy...Copy !req
28. Community 2x10 - Mixology CertificationCopy !req
29. Kick puncher Detroit!
No way! This is sold out everywhere!Copy !req
30. Not everywhere. I got a cousin in Detroit.
They're not crazy about it up there.Copy !req
31. This is how you turn 20.
Thanks!Copy !req
32. - There's strawberries under there.
- Let me, help you with that.Copy !req
33. - I broke my legs, not my gender.
- Ok.Copy !req
34. While we're...
Watching this unfold,Copy !req
35. some birthday facts to enjoy.Copy !req
36. Troy's birthday is tomorrow,
December 4th.Copy !req
37. Also born that day, Tyra Banks, Marisa Tomei,Copy !req
38. and French cinematographer
Claude Renoir.Copy !req
39. - Yes! Jackpot!
- On the Chinese calendar, Troy is a horse.Copy !req
40. Like me.Copy !req
41. I remember because I'm determined,
self-possessed, and mendacious.Copy !req
42. Pierce, what is this?
What are you doing? Explain yourself.Copy !req
43. Who made this crappy cake anyway?Copy !req
44. - A cake maker. At a cake store.
- They did it wrong.Copy !req
45. Troy, we're 1990. We're horses.Copy !req
46. - I was born in '89.
- Then...Copy !req
47. You were born 21 years ago.Copy !req
48. Which would make me 20,
because everyone is 10 for two years.Copy !req
49. Because fifth grade is really hard
for every... one.Copy !req
50. Mom, how many lies have I been living!Copy !req
51. Troy, do you realize
at midnight you are turning 21Copy !req
52. as in "the legal drinking age"?Copy !req
53. This party just became unacceptable.
We're going out.Copy !req
54. Yeap, but you were just complaining
about us having too many parties.Copy !req
55. - Too many lame ones. This is real.
- What makes it real?Copy !req
56. Well Shirley, think of it
as Troy taking his first bath,Copy !req
57. only the bubbles are his manhood.Copy !req
58. Yes. I wanna bathe in manhood.Copy !req
59. I'm taking you to I street.Copy !req
60. Douche street.Copy !req
61. Oh, of course you hate cool bars.Copy !req
62. I don't suppose
you've ever even been to I street.Copy !req
63. No. But I also haven't been
to Beirut.Copy !req
64. But I'm sure I will go one day,Copy !req
65. because I hear they have lots
of important cultural...Copy !req
66. Oh! It's my birthdayCopy !req
67. Unlike I street, which is douchey.Copy !req
68. - Alright, let's hear your great suggestions.
- The red door.Copy !req
69. Oh, yeah, the red door!
The red hipster.Copy !req
70. Not hipster.Copy !req
71. Hipsters haven't discovered it yet.
It's underound.Copy !req
72. Why don't we go someplace fun
like peg leg Pablo's?Copy !req
73. - They serve virgin mudslides.
- Those are milk shakes, Shirley.Copy !req
74. You guys!
All you think about is yourselves.Copy !req
75. Think about me. I'm 19.
I can't get into bars.Copy !req
76. - Well...
- Yeah, that must be tough, I was in those shoesCopy !req
77. Okay, well...Copy !req
78. Have fun.Copy !req
79. - Fine. I'll get Annie an ID.
- A fake ID.?Copy !req
80. It'll real. It just won't be yours.Copy !req
81. I will see you at the red door.Copy !req
82. Nice try. We're not going
to red poet's society.Copy !req
83. Well, we're not going
to douche street either.Copy !req
84. Fine. Count of three,
name the least offensive barCopy !req
85. you've ever been to.
One, two, three.Copy !req
86. - Flannahan's hole.
- Flannahan's hole.Copy !req
87. - Done. Troy, you ride with me?
- Do you even have to ask?Copy !req
88. - Pierce, do you wanna ride in my van?
- I'm not a disabled.Copy !req
89. I don't need people helping meCopy !req
90. doing normal things and doting over me and...
Why don't you just leave...Copy !req
91. Okay!
I'll beat you there.Copy !req
92. I don't think this girl
looks very much like me.Copy !req
93. - Come on, she's a white brunette.
- So is Anne Hathaway.Copy !req
94. Go on?Copy !req
95. What's your friend doing
with a stack of other people's IDS?Copy !req
96. I don't know,
sometimes people sell their IDCopy !req
97. when they're leaving the state
and need cash.Copy !req
98. So she's a drifter.Copy !req
99. A floater.Copy !req
100. An urchin.Copy !req
101. Caroline Decker
from Corpus Christi, Texas.Copy !req
102. Texas?Copy !req
103. - Do I need an accent?
- You don't need an accent.Copy !req
104. - Howdy, y'all. I'm Caroline Decker.
- Please don't do that.Copy !req
105. I guar-un-tee!Copy !req
106. - That's Cajun.
- Hihi, Cajun.Copy !req
107. - I should research Corpus Christi.
- Annie, relax.Copy !req
108. I'm not a relaxed person, Britta.
I think ahead.Copy !req
109. I prepare.
I don't improvise my life like...Copy !req
110. Caroline Decker,Copy !req
111. who probably has really bad credit
and an unfinished mermaid tattoo.Copy !req
112. - What?
- Flannahan's hole is closed.Copy !req
113. That's not a...Copy !req
114. I'm not being clever.
I mean it's out of business.Copy !req
115. Well, that's what they get
for trying to please everyone.Copy !req
116. - So now what?
- There's a place at third and water.Copy !req
117. It's fun, divey,
but not staph infection divey.Copy !req
118. It's either got a gross name
or an ironically fancy one.Copy !req
119. - Possibly both.
- OhCopy !req
120. The ballroom. Good.
Go to third and water.Copy !req
121. Wait, what?Copy !req
122. - That wasn't the deal!
- Shirley's pushing back.Copy !req
123. Why, 'cause they don't have
plastic menus and milk shakes?Copy !req
124. - Why, 'cause they don't have...
- Don't repeat that, you goon!Copy !req
125. Jeez. Look, just...Copy !req
126. The women are your problem,
and the men are going to the ballroom.Copy !req
127. And now I guess I am being clever.Copy !req
128. So, plastic menus are bad?Copy !req
129. See, this is the kinda stuff
I need to learn.Copy !req
130. Plastic menus seems like
a great idea to meCopy !req
131. for when you spill something on them,
and your mom says,Copy !req
132. "Hey Troy, you're ruining fuddruckers
for everyone."Copy !req
133. Troy, you're entering
the next chapter of your life.Copy !req
134. Sadly, it's the final chapter,
but it's also the longest.Copy !req
135. And if you play it right, the best.Copy !req
136. You and I...
We're just two guys now.Copy !req
137. Peers. Equals.Copy !req
138. So awesome. Maybe later
you'll let me drive your car.Copy !req
139. No.Copy !req
140. Hello, former enemy.Copy !req
141. He's 21 at midnight.
Cool?Copy !req
142. - Yeah. Happy birthday.
- Thanks.Copy !req
143. Oh, I don't like this place.Copy !req
144. You made that clear, Shirley.
Oy vey.Copy !req
145. - Caroline Decker from Corpus Christi.
- Annie, you don't need an accent.Copy !req
146. If my ID says Texas,
they'll be suspicious.Copy !req
147. They're not gonna question your ID,
because you're a hot girl.Copy !req
148. We're good for business.
The hotter you are,Copy !req
149. the more they'll risk the fine.Copy !req
150. - Howdy?
- Go ahead.Copy !req
151. Can't be too careful.Copy !req
152. I understand.Copy !req
153. Hey Shirley!
Welcome back!Copy !req
154. You don't know me. Ok?Copy !req
155. YeahCopy !req
156. - This place is all right!
- Yeah. It's okay.Copy !req
157. These pictures must be
of all the regulars.Copy !req
158. You think someday,
I can make it up to this wall?Copy !req
159. I don't say this often Troy, but;
Dream a little smaller.Copy !req
160. - Can I get you guys anything?
- Oh!Copy !req
161. - I'm okay!
- Another MacAllan. Neat.Copy !req
162. - Vodka, neat, four olives.
- I'm waiting till midnight.Copy !req
163. Sweetie?Copy !req
164. Water!Copy !req
165. - Where's that accent from?
- Corpus Christi. Texas.Copy !req
166. - 78418.
- What are you doin' here in town?Copy !req
167. Not much, I reckon...
Just driftin',Copy !req
168. floatin', Spittin' in the wind.Copy !req
169. General waywardness.Copy !req
170. All righty.Copy !req
171. Annie, you're in the bar.
You don't have to be from Texas anymore.Copy !req
172. I don't know how it works.
I'm not a barfly, Britta.Copy !req
173. They have Asteroids.
Slide out.Copy !req
174. I'm gonna go
take a little look around.Copy !req
175. Me too.Copy !req
176. Annie.Copy !req
177. - Don't accept any drinks.
- Or invitations to the bathroom.Copy !req
178. So what are you gonna order
for your first legal drink?Copy !req
179. - What should I get?
- Whatever you want.Copy !req
180. - No wrong answers.
- I like beer.Copy !req
181. - Don't order beer.
- You've had beer.Copy !req
182. - What should I get?
- What do you think you might like?Copy !req
183. - I mean, It's your world now.
- Follow your heart.Copy !req
184. My uncle Carl played a role in my life.
He taught me how to throw a football.Copy !req
185. He passed away this year.Copy !req
186. His favorite drink was
a seven and seven.Copy !req
187. - Don't order that.
- That's an awful drink.Copy !req
188. - You're better than that.
- Horrible. Is a high school drink for girls.Copy !req
189. Actually, I'll have a root beer
instead of that water.Copy !req
190. - Sure thing.
- Thank you kindly.Copy !req
191. Y'all are so nice in this town.Copy !req
192. I'm Caroline.
From Corpus Christi.Copy !req
193. Grew up on a trout farm.Copy !req
194. Deedly-do.Copy !req
195. Careful.Copy !req
196. You score any higher on this thing,Copy !req
197. the Rylans are gonna recruit you
to fight against the Ko-dan empire.Copy !req
198. The last starfighter.Copy !req
199. Did you get
the 25th anniversary blu-ray?Copy !req
200. Was scorpius half-scarran,
half-peacekeeper?Copy !req
201. Frell, yes,
I got Starfighter on blu-ray.Copy !req
202. You're a fan of the Sci-Fi
original series Farscape.Copy !req
203. Can I buy you a drink?Copy !req
204. You got some id?Copy !req
205. Very funny, punk.
Get outta my way!Copy !req
206. I don't know how people like you
even get jobs today.Copy !req
207. Do you need help, man?Copy !req
208. You'd like that, wouldn't you?Copy !req
209. A little turning of the tables.Copy !req
210. - The turning of what tables?
- I don't know! Leave me alone!Copy !req
211. So I punched her.Copy !req
212. Right in the face.Copy !req
213. Your probation officer?Copy !req
214. - Didn't you get in trouble?
- Hell, yes, I got in trouble!Copy !req
215. Wasn't the first time.
Won't be the last.Copy !req
216. I'm not exactly known
for my sound judgment.Copy !req
217. Back in Corpus christi,
they call me capricious Caroline.Copy !req
218. What's capricious mean?Copy !req
219. Probably means I'm...Copy !req
220. too busy livin' life
to be learnin' $5-words.Copy !req
221. Hot damn!Copy !req
222. With an aged scotch, never use ice.Copy !req
223. Never use ice. Got it.Copy !req
224. - Why?
- Destroys it.Copy !req
225. At most, what you want, two drops
of spring water. Activates the flavor.Copy !req
226. Good lord. Do they have the rules
to high-maintenance poser drinkingCopy !req
227. on the wall at I street?Copy !req
228. - Do they?
- Poser drinking?Copy !req
229. Hey, miss vodka, need four olives.
What's that called,Copy !req
230. - the too-cool-to-care-tini?
- Is it?Copy !req
231. I bet the forced starkness
of that drink orderCopy !req
232. turns a lotta horn-rimmed heads
at the red door.Copy !req
233. I can't wait to understand
these arguments!Copy !req
234. Hey, y'all, another round for ya.
Everybody holdin' up?Copy !req
235. I'll be back in two shakes
of a rabbit's ass.Copy !req
236. Who the hell was that?Copy !req
237. I gotta go see a woman
about the female equivalent of a horse.Copy !req
238. Classy.
Way to show Troy the ropes.Copy !req
239. Shut up, I street.Copy !req
240. That woman is a hurricane.Copy !req
241. YeahCopy !req
242. Hurricanes are bad Troy.Copy !req
243. I know.Copy !req
244. I always thought is possible, that
the wormhole Crichton can fell throughCopy !req
245. moved him across not only space
but also time,Copy !req
246. which would suggest that the sebaceans
are our future selvesCopy !req
247. and Crichton is longing
for a planet that no longer exists.Copy !req
248. You're really nursing that beer.Copy !req
249. Which it make sense, because,
what kind of wormhole would it beCopy !req
250. if it could only move from one place to another
within the same galaxy on the same day?Copy !req
251. You know, speaking of wormholes,Copy !req
252. what do you say we use one to...Copy !req
253. teleport this conversation
someplace a little more private?Copy !req
254. That doesn't make any sense.Copy !req
255. Wormholes and teleportation
are two different things.Copy !req
256. - That's what I've been talking the whole time.
- I noticed.Copy !req
257. Cheers.Copy !req
258. I followed that band phish,
spells it with "ph".Copy !req
259. I lived in parking lots
where they played.Copy !req
260. I don't even like their music.
I did it to see if I could do it.Copy !req
261. Guess what.
I could!Copy !req
262. - So what now?
- I dunno!Copy !req
263. Even if I planned it, plans fall off me
like chicken crap off an armadilla.Copy !req
264. Annie's the one that plans things,
not me.Copy !req
265. Annie's my friend.
She goes to school here.Copy !req
266. Thinks she's got it all figured out.Copy !req
267. She wants to major
in healthcare management.Copy !req
268. What does that even mean?Copy !req
269. - No idea.
- I'll tell you what it means.Copy !req
270. It means a master's degree,
followed by an internship.Copy !req
271. She's got the next 15 years of her life
all mapped out,Copy !req
272. and all she gotta do now
is just follow it or screw it up.Copy !req
273. - Another soda?
- Actually, gimme a screwdriver.Copy !req
274. I got no place to be.Copy !req
275. What am I... Annie?Copy !req
276. The first season, when you watch it the 2nd time,
is better than the 3rd season,Copy !req
277. and the 4th season,
when you watch it the 5th time...Copy !req
278. - Ok, uhm, what's your name?
- Abed.Copy !req
279. - Abed, I'm Robert.
- Hey Robert.Copy !req
280. Abed, would you like to have...Copy !req
281. gay sex...
with me?Copy !req
282. No, thank you.Copy !req
283. Okay, so...
What is wrong with you,Copy !req
284. that you can sit here
this whole timeCopy !req
285. and never pick up on the fact
that a man is hitting on you?Copy !req
286. - Oh, I actually did picked up on it after a while.
- You actually...Copy !req
287. and...?Copy !req
288. I really, really like
talking about Farscape.Copy !req
289. - It's a really good show.
- Stargate's better.Copy !req
290. Battery depleted.Copy !req
291. Oh, manCopy !req
292. That is wrong!Copy !req
293. Wait.Copy !req
294. Hey, there!Copy !req
295. What you been up to?Copy !req
296. I was just prayingCopy !req
297. for these poor souls
in these photographs.Copy !req
298. That's nice, but...Copy !req
299. you missed one.Copy !req
300. I found it in the ladies room.Copy !req
301. - Give that to me.
- No, no, come on!Copy !req
302. Don't feel bad.
This makes us like you way more.Copy !req
303. - You think this is really funny.
- Yeah, a little.Copy !req
304. I had some bad years.Copy !req
305. With a chaser.Copy !req
306. Come on. It's a funny picture,
because you act so perfect all the time.Copy !req
307. And because you look like a zombie,Copy !req
308. but it's not funny when you're sad.Copy !req
309. We're on your team, relax.
Sit down, it's my birthday.Copy !req
310. Give it to me.Copy !req
311. Give it to me.Copy !req
312. See you all on Monday.Copy !req
313. JeezCopy !req
314. Blue town.Copy !req
315. Shirley. Wait.Copy !req
316. What?Copy !req
317. - Nothing. Get out of my way!
- I can't get out of your way.Copy !req
318. I'm stuck in this pl...
The chair broke...Copy !req
319. I mean, I can't get...Copy !req
320. Could you please help me?Copy !req
321. Pretty please?Copy !req
322. Thank you, Shirley.Copy !req
323. You're welcome, jackass.Copy !req
324. Hey, It's my birthday, andCopy !req
325. technically, I'm not allowed to drink
for another 45 seconds.Copy !req
326. It'll be 30 seconds
by the time I'm done saying this.Copy !req
327. - But can I have a seven and seven?
- It's on the house.Copy !req
328. Happy birthday, kid.Copy !req
329. I prefer that to avatar.
I'd rather have my eyes gouged out.Copy !req
330. Imagine the hurt locker as radio play,
would be totally horrible and stupid...Copy !req
331. Big boy.
Big, big boy.Copy !req
332. You're my big boy.Copy !req
333. I think I owe you a birthday.Copy !req
334. I'm cool.Copy !req
335. I always wanted to drive this thing.Copy !req
336. What?Copy !req
337. This is my car?Copy !req
338. - Don't crash it.
- I'm not gonna crash it!Copy !req
339. Crash it, Troy.Copy !req
340. Go to sleep Britta.
Go to sleep.Copy !req
341. Crash his car, Troy!Copy !req
342. Seems like a really dark chapter
in our group story.Copy !req
343. - Go to sleep, Abed.
- Cool.Copy !req
344. Hey, that's the place
that we shoulda gone to tonight!Copy !req
345. Yeah, I street. Exactly.Copy !req
346. It's the red door, stupid!Copy !req
347. - You see a sign that says I street?
- I street is too cool to have a sign.Copy !req
348. It's called I street
after the street it's on.Copy !req
349. The red door's on I street.Copy !req
350. I street has a red door.Copy !req
351. It's the same bar?Copy !req
352. You two have been saying
one bar is lameCopy !req
353. and the other one is awesome,
all night...Copy !req
354. and it's the same bar?Copy !req
355. He probably was around Friday nights,
which was lame.Copy !req
356. You wish!Copy !req
357. Stop. Just stop.Copy !req
358. I just spent the last two years,Copy !req
359. thinking that you guys
knew more than me about life,Copy !req
360. and I just found out
that you guys are just as dumb as me.Copy !req
361. Duh-doy.Copy !req
362. Yeah, duh-doy.Copy !req
363. Got it.Copy !req
364. Duh-doy.Copy !req
365. Duh-doy.Copy !req
366. You can take me home first.
I only live a few blocks from here.Copy !req
367. You do?Copy !req
368. This is a really
terrible neighborhood.Copy !req
369. Yeah.Copy !req
370. This is my apartment.Copy !req
371. Weird night, huh?Copy !req
372. Yeah...Copy !req
373. Alcohol makes people sad.Copy !req
374. It's like the lifetime movies
of beverages.Copy !req
375. I pretended to be
a different person tonight.Copy !req
376. Abed does that three times a week.Copy !req
377. But I did it because
I didn't wanna be me.Copy !req
378. I did it because...Copy !req
379. I'm not sure who I am.Copy !req
380. Admit it, we went to school together for 4 years,
and you didn't even know me.Copy !req
381. Yeah, but...Copy !req
382. I know you now.Copy !req
383. You're Annie.Copy !req
384. You like puzzles and...Copy !req
385. little monsters on your pencil
and some guy named Mark Ruffalo.Copy !req
386. You're a fierce competitor
and a sore loser.Copy !req
387. And you expect everybody
to be better than who they are,Copy !req
388. and you expect yourself
to be better than everyone.Copy !req
389. Which is cool.Copy !req
390. Good night.Copy !req
391. Guess everyone's gonna be
pretty embarrassed on Monday?Copy !req
392. No.Copy !req
393. Everybody just got a little bit drunk.
Nobody did anything that bad, right?Copy !req
394. No, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
395. What are we doing?Copy !req
396. - Yeah, what are we doing?
- This is a bad idea, right?Copy !req
397. Yeah.Copy !req
398. Ok,Copy !req
399. I flew off the handle earlier.Copy !req
400. I apologize.Copy !req
401. - They were making out.
- Abed, why would you say that?Copy !req
402. Why would you do it in front of me?
I'm not a coat rack.Copy !req
403. Abed.Copy !req
404. No one likes a tattle tail.Copy !req
405. Happy birthday, Troy.Copy !req
406. Thanks.Copy !req
407. You're a man now.Copy !req
408. - I don't think this will be big enough.
- Just try it, we're so close!Copy !req
409. All right. Breathe in.Copy !req
410. Arms.Copy !req
411. - 157!
- We did it!Copy !req
412. Yes.Copy !req
413. That you?Copy !req
414. Yeah.Copy !req
415. Little help?Copy !req
416. - Hurry. I think it's a girl!
- Left side or right side?Copy !req
417. - Left side.
- Got it. Tell me when I'm close.Copy !req
418. Ok.Copy !req