Columbo 3x3

1. Harry, I need her.

2. I can understand now

3. why Nelson finds you repugnant.

4. Oh, you're wonderful, wonderful, all of you!

5. Thank you so very much. Thank you.

6. Any Italians in your family Mafia?

7. Look at this watch.

8. It will be your job to locate this lunatic,

9. whoever he is.

10. Well, I mean hired killers are crazy.

11. Now come on, people.

12. In county office, I gave them trouble

13. on a local level for four straight years.

14. As a United States Senator,

15. I'd be giving them twice as hard a time,

16. and on a national level to boot.

17. Of course, they're threatening my life,

18. I'm threatening theirs.

19. Mr. Hayward, sir. Rick Stevens, UPI.

20. Sir, your request here today for police protection

21. against the criminal elements—

22. Oh, let me make myself clear.

23. I am here merely to report to the proper authorities

24. the fact of my having received those threats.

25. Now, I've accepted this, uh, police protection reluctantly

26. and only at the continued insistence

27. of concerned individuals.

28. Sir, isn't that rather a cavalier attitude?

29. It seems to me that anyone, much less a public official,

30. who's been receiving threatening letters—

31. No, I will not be intimated by these threats,

32. I will continue to campaign.

33. Well, will you limit your public appearances?

34. Not in the slightest.

35. I believe that any candidate for high public office,

36. who has pledged himself, as have I,

37. to the eradication of organized crime

38. and all the filth that it engenders

39. had better possess whatever selfless dedication,

40. whatever sheer guts may be required to stand alone

41. with his only protection being

42. the courage of his convictions

43. regardless of personal risk.

44. This is what I believe, sir.

45. Thomas Jefferson couldn't have said it better.

46. So with the election less than a week away,

47. Nelson Hayward, candidate for the U.S. Senate,

48. in a race to fill the seat of the late Harold Lench

49. will have round-the-clock police protection following

50. the reported threats against his life.

51. I think I just clinched your boyfriend's election.

52. I can understand now

53. why Nelson finds you repugnant.

54. You know, you shouldn't have turned that off.

55. I'm expecting a bulletin any minute.

56. Like what?

57. Like, what senatorial candidate

58. has been using his beach house

59. to entertain his own wife's secretary.

60. Nelson is not happily married.

61. Look, I didn't tell you to come here

62. to discuss his marriage.

63. I told you to come here to discuss

64. his affair with you.

65. That's none of your business.

66. Let go of him.

67. It's time you called. Listen, Gomez,

68. how about that endorsement?

69. Let go now, Linda, today.

70. I happen to be in love with him.

71. If you were,

72. you wouldn't risk ruining his chances.

73. Listen, Gomez,

74. we want that endorsement by noon tomorrow.

75. Now save that bleeding-hearts minority speech

76. for those 3,000 creeps you control.

77. Now if you like, uh, heading that little

78. sweetheart union of yours...

79. Hold on one second. Hey, use your head.

80. He's gonna be in here any minute, surrounded by

81. a covey of cops, maybe newsmen.

82. Now if you won't get out of town,

83. at least get out of here.

84. Your job's with the candidate's wife,

85. not the candidate.

86. All right, Harry, I will leave for now,

87. but I won't stay away unless Nelson tells me to.

88. You ought to know by now

89. that Nelson does whatever I tell him to do.

90. Well, I want to hear it from him!

91. Have him call me.

92. Uh, I'm leaving Sgt. Rojas down here

93. to keep an eye on your car.

94. Um, I'll be standing by if you need anything, sir.

95. Thank you, Sergeant.

96. How'd it go?

97. Made all three networks.

98. It's the greatest stunt I ever thought of.

99. You know, all that garbage about your life

100. being threatened really pulls the old sympathy.

101. How was I?

102. You'd have been better off

103. without that reference to your guts.

104. Humility, Nelson, humility.

105. Servant of the people.

106. If I could do your talking for you

107. as well as your thinking, I'd make you president,

108. not just senator.

109. Murray, can you talk?

110. Listen, I, uh, tried muscling Gomez

111. into that endorsement, but he wouldn't bend.

112. I'll tell you what I want you to do.

113. Dig up a couple of Chicano kids,

114. slip them a few bucks.

115. Let them figure you're working for the opposition.

116. Get them to bust up our East LA campaign office.

117. Bye-bye.

118. Here is your ecology speech for tomorrow morning.

119. Gillis did a terrific job on it

120. and I just improved it.

121. Read it word for word and no ad libs, please.

122. Whose lipstick is this?

123. Linda's. I asked her over.

124. Guess why?

125. To tell her to get out of my life.

126. You guessed.

127. Harry, stay out of my private life!

128. You don't have any private life.

129. I'm telling you—

130. No, I'm tellin' you.

131. I've put too much into getting you

132. where you are now

133. to take a chance on blowing it.

134. Now whatever affects your political life

135. affects me,

136. and Linda Johnson is a political liability.

137. Harry, I need her.

138. You don't need anybody but me.

139. You could get rid of anybody but me

140. because I know where the bodies are buried.

141. Nelson, I buried them for you.

142. Now, that's why I'm callin' this shot.

143. She's out.

144. Not just until after the election.

145. You're gonna be a happily married senator.

146. Linda's out. Period.

147. You don't leave me any choice, as usual.

148. Let me call her.

149. Linda, it's me.

150. Honey, I've got to see you.

151. No, not here. At your place.

152. Um, give me about 30 minutes.

153. Bye.

154. For God's sake, Nels,

155. are you gonna take a police escort to her place?

156. You want headlines of my wife's secretary

157. taking an overdose of sleeping pills?

158. Now let me break it to her gently, personally.

159. But what about that cop out there?

160. Oh, Sergeant.

161. Yes, sir.

162. Sergeant, uh, I wonder

163. if I can speak with you for a minute.

164. Yes, sir.

165. Uh, not many people know this,

166. but I smoke cigars.

167. Now this may sound trivial to you,

168. but unfortunately cigars are rather bad

169. for the political image, so to speak.

170. The old smoke-filled room cliché.

171. Anyway, uh, there are invariably reporters

172. in the lobby of this place.

173. So I was wondering if maybe you could, uh,

174. go down to the cigar counter

175. and pick me up a box of Panatellas?

176. Oh, no problem.

177. Except, Mr. Hayward, I—I really shouldn't be leaving

178. your room unguarded.

179. Oh, I think Mr. Stone and I

180. can fight them off together for a few minutes.

181. Yes, sir.

182. Is he the only one?

183. No, there's a couple more down in the garage.

184. Harry, give me your jacket.

185. What?

186. Harry, this is very important to me.

187. Nels, this is crazy.

188. Please, you've had everything your way.

189. Just let me have this much.

190. Give me your jacket.

191. Get in the car, drive right out of here.

192. Drop the car off the beach house

193. and call yourself a cab.

194. Mr. Hayward, sir!

195. Mr. Hayward. Hayward, sir!

196. Juanita!

197. Juanita!

198. Juanita?

199. Juanita?

200. Surprise! Happy birthday.

201. Oh, no, you didn't.

202. Oh, no!

203. Happy birthday!

204. Yes, and wearing my hat, and my jacket,

205. zipping out of the garage in my car.

206. For all I know, they're still following

207. old Harry all over the streets.

208. I love it.

209. Now there's a switch.

210. Imagine a husband going through all that

211. just to be with his wife.

212. That's a switch.

213. Well, you run for office someday

214. and you'll see how much privacy you get.

215. Honey. No, darling, here, right this way.

216. Not on Vicki's birthday.

217. We are having no press,

218. no police, not even outside the house.

219. Thank you very much.

220. All right, there you are, my dear.

221. And as for you, my dear friends,

222. I can promise all of you

223. that at the propitious moment,

224. we shall throw the entire pack of you

225. right out of here, with the utmost courtesy.

226. And because you're our dear friends,

227. and in honor of the occasion,

228. will you excuse me just a moment.

229. Oh, he's going to get your gift.

230. Police Department.

231. Just wanted to let you know we keep our promises.

232. You're worried about Nelson Hayward?

233. You'll find what's left of him

234. in the garage of his beach house.

235. Ladies and gentlemen,

236. for after dinner, brandy, 1893.

237. I was saving this

238. to toast my election to the Senate.

239. But I'm afraid not even that could bring me

240. as much pleasure as I'm having this evening.

241. To Victoria, happy birthday, honey.

242. You're Italian, Lieutenant.

243. I'm Italian.

244. Cavelli is Italian. You're a cop.

245. I'm a dentist. Cavelli's a tenor.

246. None of us is Mafia.

247. You know any Italians that are Mafia?

248. Any Italians in your family Mafia?

249. Any Italians on the police force Mafia?

250. Ah, when people talk about the Italians,

251. do they think cops, dentists, tenors?

252. The Pope, not even?

253. The Pope is Italian, ain't he?

254. They think—

255. They think Mafiosa.

256. Mafiosa, Mafiosa.

257. Rinse. Did I gag you?

258. A little bit. Thanks, Doc.

259. It's okay.

260. All right.

261. Here are the x-rays.

262. Hmm.

263. The x-rays. What?

264. That's too bad.

265. What's too bad?

266. What do you mean, "too bad"?

267. You mean two bad, T-W-O, or too bad, T-O-O.

268. What are you saying?

269. No. I don't know what you're saying,

270. "two" or "too"?

271. When you say too bad, you mean too bad like

272. too bad it's a rainy day

273. or too bad that there are two that are bad?

274. It's too bad,

275. the wisdom tooth's gotta come out

276. and the molar we can save with a temporary.

277. We interrupt Operatic Interludes

278. for a special news bulletin.

279. We have just received an unconfirmed report

280. that Nelson Hayward,

281. candidate for United States Senator from California,

282. has just been shot and killed.

283. I got to hear this.

284. It is understood that Hayward eluded a police escort

285. that had been assigned to him

286. after numerous recent threats on his life.

287. No arrests have been made yet, but we'll keep you advised

288. as reports reach our newsroom.

289. Nelson Hayward?

290. They'll try to pin it on the Mafia.

291. Don't let them do it, Lieutenant.

292. I just saw this man a little while ago.

293. I got to call my wife, I got to get out of here.

294. You can't leave without a temporary in that molar.

295. All right, Doc, but make it fast.

296. Nelson Hayward.

297. I'll tell you something else, Lieutenant.

298. You are an Italian cop.

299. No matter who you catch for that murder,

300. they're still gonna say it's the Mafia.

301. And that you're covering for them.

302. Open wide.

303. Take my advice, Lieutenant,

304. change your name.

305. And don't bite down on anything hard.

306. Female, 45 years, 5'11", 90 pounds.

307. 2000, South Alameda.

308. 6482, stand by, information incomplete.

309. Give me a match?

310. Murder's always depressing, but you get over it.

311. Candidate for the U.S. Senate.

312. Here you are, Lieutenant.

313. It doesn't make any difference what party,

314. black or white...

315. Knocks the wind out of you.

316. Something I can do for you, Lieutenant?

317. No, just...

318. See, the streetlight is broken.

319. I bet the kids did that.

320. I remember that's what we used to do.

321. Throw rocks and break the streetlight.

322. Besides the items I mentioned before,

323. there were his wallet,

324. pen, keys, pack of gum and a hanky.

325. Now these items were in his pants pocket.

326. Good evening.

327. You're late, Lieutenant.

328. In Hayward's pockets,

329. that's in his camel hair coat pocket,

330. there was also a pack of gum, same brand,

331. and a handkerchief.

332. But that's understandable.

333. Because what were in the pants belong to the guy,

334. and what were in the coat were Hayward's.

335. That's all we found.

336. All right.

337. Lt. Columbo, stay here. I want to talk to you.

338. Yes, sir. Charlie?

339. Charlie, what's the Coroner say?

340. What was he talking about?

341. Who?

342. That detective who was just here.

343. I don't know. I wasn't listening.

344. attributed to three gunshot wounds

345. two of which slugs appear

346. still lodged in the upper abdomen—

347. Excuse me, I'll be right back.

348. with the third having passed through

349. the left cranial area.

350. Anybody hear the gunshots?

351. No. Our men are canvassing the neighborhood, sir.

352. There's no luck so far.

353. Listen,

354. w-w-what did you mean over there before

355. when you said about

356. it was understandable about the stuff

357. being in Hayward's coat and pants?

358. I never mentioned Hayward's pants.

359. The wallet and key were in Stone's pants.

360. Who's Stone?

361. You're kidding me.

362. No.

363. Stone is the victim.

364. Not Hayward?

365. Oh, no, Lieutenant.

366. That's what we originally thought until—

367. It's not Hayward?

368. Oh, boy. What a relief.

369. Holy Christmas.

370. I just found out it wasn't Hayward.

371. I already called my wife to break the news.

372. She loves Hayward.

373. I didn't want her to hear it on TV.

374. You better call her back.

375. Thank goodness she wasn't home.

376. Who's Stone?

377. Stone is the campaign manager.

378. A case of mistaken identity.

379. Have we got any fingerprints?

380. The boys are still dusting the garage,

381. but they haven't come up with anything yet.

382. Anybody see anything unusual?

383. No, sir. No one.

384. Have we been able to establish

385. an exact time of the death?

386. That looks like 9:20 p.m.

387. The broken watch

388. on the wrist of the deceased would fix the time.

389. The Coroner confirmed that?

390. No he hasn't confirmed, but he feels that's about right.

391. He'll give us a full confirmation before noon tomorrow.

392. No, no, tell him tomorrow morning is not good enough.

393. Tell him I want it tonight.

394. Now I may want to make an official report

395. to the press tomorrow. So I want it—

396. What time do you have?

397. 10:00.

398. That's what I got.

399. I want to get this for sure. Huh?

400. Excuse me, I'll be right back.

401. Before I forget...

402. Where is he going this time?

403. Can I see that?

404. Lieutenant, I want you to hear this.

405. There's no question, the killer was waiting

406. right outside the hotel garage.

407. When he saw Stone drive off in Hayward's car here,

408. there was no security around,

409. so he took advantage of the situation.

410. He followed him here and he killed him.

411. That must've been what happened, sir,

412. because I tried to follow the car.

413. Well, I lost it very soon afterwards,

414. at the three-way intersection.

415. I took Sunset, thinking he might be goin'

416. to his house, but I was wrong.

417. That had to be it, sir,

418. 'cause that was the first time that Hayward

419. or somebody who appeared to be Hayward,

420. was out of our sight.

421. The first and only time and what happens?

422. He winds up dead.

423. Does anybody have any idea—

424. Who was the first guy on the scene?

425. Uh, Miller.

426. We haven't been able to locate him yet.

427. How much does the press know about it so far?

428. Just that Stone's dead, that's all.

429. Excuse me, sir, I'll be right back.

430. Miller?

431. Yes.

432. Miller? You were the first guy on the scene?

433. Right.

434. Was the light on?

435. No.

436. Where is the light switch?

437. I don't know, I'm sorry.

438. I want all of you in my office tomorrow morning.

439. Okay, Vernon, let's hear your version.

440. Lieutenant, I want you to hear this.

441. They couldn't be sure what exit he used

442. if he did leave.

443. After all, what if he went out

444. through the main lobby and not the garage?

445. I don't care if they've all left and gone home.

446. Wake them up if necessary.

447. Tell him I'll be right back.

448. Hey, hey, hold it!

449. Hey! Hey!

450. Hold!

451. Just want to check something, one minute.

452. This guy's watch...

453. I just want to check...

454. Shirt.

455. Suit.

456. Shoes.

457. Lieutenant! Where the hell is he?

458. Coming, sir!

459. Okay.

460. Sorry.

461. You keep disappearing. Where were you?

462. Would you send my car, please?

463. Lieutenant, look,

464. if it was Hayward that was killed,

465. naturally, I'd head up this investigation.

466. But it wasn't, it was Stone.

467. So right now, I'm more concerned

468. with Hayward's future,

469. that nothing happens to him.

470. So I'm going to concentrate on his security.

471. It will be your job to locate this lunatic,

472. whoever he is.

473. Yes, sir.

474. Is that my car?

475. Lieutenant. Lt. Columbo.

476. We've finally located Hayward, he's at home.

477. It took a long time to locate him at home?

478. Yes, sir. Well, we called earlier,

479. but the maid kept insisting he wasn't there.

480. But I just called and got a hold of his wife.

481. He's there, all right.

482. There's some kind of a party.

483. Do they know about this?

484. Oh, no, sir, I figured that

485. you'd want to make the official visit.

486. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I'd better.

487. Uh, excuse me, sir.

488. Excuse me.

489. Sure.

490. Yes, can I help you?

491. Uh, I'm Lt. Columbo, ma'am. Police.

492. I'd like to speak to Mr. Hayward.

493. Oh, no need for concern.

494. He's perfectly safe. Thank you.

495. Yes, ma'am, I—I know.

496. Uh, but I'd like to speak to him.

497. This is important. I'd like to—

498. I know it's important,

499. but we're having a private party.

500. It's my birthday.

501. So why don't you just go round the back

502. and get yourself a piece of cake?

503. The maid'll fix you a cup of coffee

504. and a piece of cake.

505. Thank you very much, ma'am.

506. I appreciate that. But—

507. Don't be so serious.

508. Go have a piece of cake.

509. Really, it's delicious.

510. Ma'am, I'm sorry.

511. Yes?

512. It can't wait.

513. All right, if it can't wait.

514. What's your name?

515. Columbo.

516. Lt. Columbo.

517. I know. Usually, I get this.

518. Excuse us. This is Lt. Columbo, the police.

519. Well?

520. Couldn't wait.

521. Lieutenant, trapped me in my lair, eh?

522. I'm sorry to disturb your party.

523. Oh, no, no, no, it's I who should apologize to you.

524. After all, avoiding your compatriots like that.

525. I'm sorry, but it's my wife's birthday,

526. and I'd planned this little surprise, you see.

527. I'll call the Commissioner's office

528. in the morning and apologize

529. and get those other detectives off the hook as well.

530. Why don't you fix yourself a drink?

531. Make yourself at home. Take your coat off.

532. This, uh, this security problem

533. really gets to be an aggravation.

534. Excuse me, Mr. Hayward.

535. Yes?

536. If I could have a moment with you privately.

537. It's rather serious, I'm afraid.

538. Oh? It is?

539. Well, dear, I guess

540. the old clothing switch is a felony.

541. He'll probably gonna tell us Harry and I

542. are guilty of aggravated police avoidance. Eh?

543. No, sir, nothing like that.

544. Excuse me, darling.

545. I'm from Homicide.

546. Oh, you're a little premature.

547. They haven't got me yet.

548. Uh, yes, sir, I know.

549. And we're mighty grateful for that.

550. Uh, but there has been a homicide.

551. There has been a homicide?

552. Yes, sir.

553. Mr. Stone, your campaign manager,

554. he's dead.

555. Harry Stone is dead?

556. Vicki.

557. What? What?

558. Harry Stone is dead.

559. Harry.

560. H-How? How? Where?

561. At your beach house, in the garage. Shot.

562. Oh, no.

563. Murdered.

564. Oh, no.

565. Oh, it's impossible.

566. Honey.

567. I don't believe it.

568. It's all right, sweetheart. I can't believe it.

569. We just—just saw him, just this afternoon.

570. Under the circumstances, I'm sure you understand.

571. Yes.

572. We'll just say good night.

573. Of course.

574. I want to thank you all for coming.

575. I really appreciate it.

576. So sweet of you to bring the gifts.

577. He was wearing some of your clothes,

578. driving your car.

579. Probably somebody thought it was you,

580. and shot him.

581. I pull a sophomoric prank and poor Harry is...

582. Did you know, sir, that he was going out

583. to your beach house?

584. Yes. I told him to spend the night there.

585. All I can say, sir,

586. is whoever did it, we'll get 'em.

587. He wasn't just a campaign manager, he was

588. a—a very close personal friend!

589. There was a threat on his life.

590. It was on the early news today.

591. I don't know whether this is the time,

592. but for the purpose of my report,

593. uh, I'd like to ask you—

594. Oh, leave me alone. Please, leave me alone.

595. Good night.

596. Good night.

597. Goodbye, dear.

598. We'll be near if you need us.

599. Call us, will you? I will.

600. I'll call you tomorrow, darling.

601. If there's anything we can do for you,

602. anything at all...

603. Excuse me, sir.

604. just call us.

605. Okay.

606. Uh, I, uh...

607. Just for the purposes of my report, uh,

608. could you tell me

609. what time the party started?

610. It was... I don't know.

611. Nels told us all to all be there at 8:30 at the back,

612. so we could come in with him when he came home.

613. The surprise bit.

614. Yes, it was around 8:30.

615. At 8:30 he came, and we all came in.

616. That's all.

617. Good night, Lucy. Good night, George.

618. Uh, Ma'am, uh...

619. You know, whoever, uh, made this threat

620. on your husband's life is gonna know

621. that he didn't make good on that threat.

622. So we're gonna have a man posted out here tonight,

623. just—just to do everything possible, uh, to, uh...

624. Okay. Good.

625. Sir, uh, your pen.

626. Oh!

627. Don't tell me a little thing

628. like Harry's getting murdered

629. is enough to make you sleep at home tonight.

630. No, I forgot.

631. Police guard outside.

632. Can't step out tonight, can you?

633. Vicki, let's don't go at each other again.

634. Not tonight. No.

635. Come on.

636. Let's not.

637. Out of respect

638. for poor, dead Harry.

639. Besides, I wouldn't want to see you

640. dissemble before my very eyes again.

641. Your display of grief is overpowering.

642. In spite of everything,

643. the man had been with me a long time.

644. True.

645. Come on, let's go to bed.

646. Is that invitation social,

647. or just a professional courtesy?

648. I wish you wouldn't drink so much.

649. It's what I do best.

650. Besides, it's something that

651. you don't need a steady partner, after all.

652. Come on, Vicki, it's getting late.

653. Now we're going to bed.

654. Sometimes you frighten me.

655. What are you talking about?

656. That act you put on.

657. Act?

658. Mmm-hmm. When you heard about Harry's being dead.

659. I was shocked!

660. That's what frightens me.

661. You were so convincing.

662. I know how you despised him.

663. Well, it's the political game

664. I've been playing for so many years, too, Vicki.

665. After a while you react the way

666. people expect you to, not as you really feel.

667. That's true.

668. Maybe I was feeling a little for myself.

669. I mean that bullet was meant for me.

670. I'm sorry, of course. It's just that sometimes

671. I feel like you're playing that game with me.

672. I tell you.

673. What if I filed for divorce now?

674. Before the election.

675. That'd sober us both pretty good, wouldn't it?

676. Wait a minute, Vicki, listen to me. Listen to me.

677. I want you to believe I'm sorry

678. for the things that have come between us.

679. There is no other woman in my life,

680. but, yes, I do want to be Senator.

681. But never did I ever want to lose you.

682. I never wanted that.

683. I wish you could believe me.

684. Oh, honey.

685. Oh, Nels. Oh, baby.

686. Oh.

687. Hey. I know what.

688. I've got a three-day whistle-stop tour coming up.

689. Why don't you come with me?

690. We'll campaign together, like old times.

691. I can't. Yes.

692. I hate all those crowds.

693. No, you don't and they love you, come on.

694. I do. Come on.

695. Oh, listen, and then I'll have to stay alone

696. all the time in the hotel.

697. I won't be leaving you alone much.

698. Come on.

699. You work all the time—

700. No, no. Take—take that appointments secretary

701. Harry got you. What's her name?

702. Linda?

703. Yes, bring her along.

704. Good to see you. Thank you. Thank you.

705. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

706. Terrific. Terrific.

707. You're wonderful, wonderful, all of you!

708. Thank you so very much. Thank you.

709. Sergeant, I'd like you to be sure

710. my little lady gets home safely

711. and all that luggage out in the limousine.

712. We'll take care of it, sir.

713. Thank you. Uh, Linda, Miss Johnson.

714. You got a copy of my itinerary?

715. You better pick one up, right away.

716. Goodbye, darling, I'll see you home.

717. Bye.

718. Goodbye, sweetie. Thank you.

719. Thank you again, very much.

720. Thank you, bye. Yes?

721. Sure, sure. Yes. How are you? How are you?

722. Yes, how are you? Glad to see you.

723. Thank you again so much, so much, you really...

724. Just—just thank you, I can't tell you, it's just terrific.

725. Oh, thank you. All right there, all right.

726. Thank you very much.

727. Thank you so very much. See you later.

728. We're gonna win it.

729. Hey, Lieutenant, glad to see you.

730. Mr. Hayward. Saw the latest poll and you're doing terrific.

731. Thank you. Thank you very much.

732. You are voting in this one, aren't you?

733. Oh, I vote. Every election, I vote.

734. In our house, you gotta vote.

735. Very sacred thing.

736. We sit around the kitchen table

737. and we discuss. And we vote.

738. Uh-huh. Then you've made up your mind

739. about the candidates in this election.

740. Don't worry about my wife, sir,

741. she's crazy about you.

742. And you?

743. Uh, I'm still a little bit on the fence,

744. if you know what I mean.

745. We're just going to have to put you

746. on the undecided list I guess.

747. Oh, did you want to see me about anything special?

748. Uh, oh, no, sir, uh, nothing.

749. I mean, it can wait. Whenever you're—

750. Oh, fine, fine. Thank you very much.

751. I'll see you in a bit.

752. Lieutenant, you've got something new

753. on the Stone death?

754. Uh, no. Nothing concrete, Sergeant.

755. You don't have a match, do you?

756. Don't be nervous. The door is locked.

757. I can't help it.

758. I've missed you.

759. It's not easy being around your wife all the time.

760. I know, I know it's been very difficult for you.

761. It has been for me, too.

762. They're going to wonder what's going on in here.

763. I have a very busy itinerary.

764. I worry about you.

765. How's that?

766. Well, the murder.

767. Oh, I'm well protected. I'm overprotected.

768. I still worry.

769. That's nice.

770. You know, Harry was right about one thing.

771. I shouldn't see you until Election Day is over.

772. And anyway, it's just a few days.

773. Uh-huh.

774. For Mr. Hayward.

775. I'll sign for it.

776. I'm supposed to deliver it to him in person.

777. He's in conference, he may be a while.

778. I'll take that. Thank you.

779. Be right with you, Lieutenant.

780. All right, Helen.

781. What else have got?

782. Lunch at 12:00 with Judge Forsberg.

783. The Hadassah tea has been pushed back to 3:00—

784. All right, all right, I'm sorry I asked.

785. Come on, Lieutenant. Come on.

786. What's new on the murder?

787. I've been following the papers.

788. And I called your Commissioner's office from Fresno.

789. But what's being done, Lieutenant?

790. Uh...

791. Sit down, sit down, please, please.

792. So far, sir, we don't have a thing.

793. Well, that's heartening.

794. Officially, that is.

795. And unofficially?

796. Unofficially we don't have anything either.

797. Well, I don't understand—

798. That is, the Department doesn't.

799. Now me, personally, and believe me, sir,

800. that is extremely unofficial.

801. I want you to understand that.

802. Would you get to the point, Lieutenant?

803. Yes, sir.

804. Um,

805. Could I write on this, sir?

806. I don't mean on the picture.

807. I mean on the back?

808. Anything you want.

809. You got plenty of these?

810. I just hate to waste anything.

811. It's, uh, a family trait.

812. Anything you want.

813. But Lieutenant, please, just get to the point.

814. You know, my brother is 38, and he's still got

815. his sneakers from high school, you know.

816. Um,

817. this is embarrassing. The one time I have a pencil

818. it turns out to be the wrong kind.

819. Uh, could I borrow that marking pen?

820. Certainly.

821. Uh, excuse me, Lieutenant, don't misunderstand.

822. You're a very nice man. I like you very much.

823. But I would hate to have to depend upon you

824. if I was in a hurry for something.

825. You know, that's what my wife says—

826. I'm sure she does.

827. Get to the point, Lieutenant.

828. Right.

829. Uh, I don't know how important this all is,

830. but, uh, but you know, it's better to get it out.

831. Uh, this is the, uh, street in front of your garage.

832. Here's your garage.

833. Here's where the body was found. Now, as I said,

834. uh, I'm not sure what it all adds up to,

835. but, uh, I think we ought to investigate—

836. Yes, Lieutenant, just...

837. Now, uh, according to the prevailing theory

838. and believe me, sir, all the boys

839. down in the Department, they're convinced of this.

840. Of the prevailing theory?

841. Yes, sir.

842. That the killer was waiting outside the hotel,

843. saw Mr. Stone drive out,

844. when there was no security men around,

845. took advantage of that opportunity,

846. to follow him out to your beach house.

847. And that's when he shot him.

848. Now, uh,

849. here's the thing that's been troubling me, sir, uh.

850. Did you ever throw rocks at the streetlight

851. when you were a kid?

852. Yes.

853. Well, that must have been what happened.

854. See the kids, they broke this streetlight here.

855. The kids broke the streetlight?

856. Yes.

857. And, uh, I just don't see

858. how the murderer had enough light

859. to see Mr. Stone in the dark,

860. in order to shoot him.

861. Well, he could have used his headlights.

862. I mean, uh, that is one answer that makes sense.

863. First thing I thought of, sir.

864. But you see this street, here, is very narrow.

865. Twenty-eight feet.

866. Now, uh,

867. I went down to Motor Vehicles,

868. I got some models down.

869. I hope I haven't forgotten them.

870. Oh, here we are.

871. Now you see, for me,

872. when I can see something, it's clearer in my mind.

873. This is Mr. Stone in your car, sir.

874. Comes up, pulls into the garage.

875. Killer follows, makes a left turn,

876. to throw his headlights into the garage.

877. The problem is, he's blocking traffic.

878. I mean, right in the middle of the shooting

879. a citizen comes down, what's he gonna say?

880. "I'm in the middle of the shooting, you know."

881. It's too chancy.

882. But I mean hired killers are crazy,

883. who knows what they would've done.

884. It only takes a couple of seconds

885. to shoot somebody.

886. I mean it's not like he was blocking traffic

887. for a long time. Huh.

888. Well, it's not ideal for a quick getaway, sir.

889. But, uh, well, maybe.

890. But I still don't see

891. how he could've got any light in there.

892. You see, if he pulled up here...

893. Now, remember, you got that big car.

894. His beams would shine directly

895. into the trunk of your car.

896. So that the spot where Mr. Stone was shot

897. would still be in the dark.

898. Have you actually tested this out, Lieutenant?

899. Oh, yes, sir, we had actual cars up there.

900. And you're trying to tell me

901. that there's no other angle in which a second car

902. could use his headlights to illuminate the spot

903. where Harry Stone was killed?

904. Yes, sir. Uh, yeah,

905. there—there was one other possibility.

906. You bet your life there was one.

907. Here. Excuse me.

908. If he pulled in like this... Granted his right headlight

909. would point directly into the trunk of my car,

910. not throw off any useful light.

911. But the left headlight would have a clear path

912. to illuminate the spot where Harry Stone was killed.

913. Now tell me that's not possible.

914. Yes, sir, it is possible.

915. I mean, I-it's conceivable.

916. But that's like catching lightning in a bottle,

917. for this car to hit that exact spot.

918. But it is possible?

919. Yes, sir, it is possible.

920. Uh, it's possible.

921. But then the shots couldn't come

922. from the right hand half of the garage.

923. You see, sir, according to Ballistics,

924. the killer was in this area here.

925. And the shots came in this direction.

926. Now, if the second car hit the mark that you suggested,

927. the killer would have to lean out of the driver's seat

928. and shoot from here.

929. The shots would come in this direction.

930. See, and that's contrary to the ballistics report.

931. Hmm-mmm. Hmm-mmm.

932. Very interesting.

933. Very interesting.

934. Hmm-mmm. I see.

935. You, uh, you don't think

936. the murderer followed Harry out there

937. and that he was, uh...

938. Hmm-mmm.

939. A thought.

940. Suppose he didn't follow him.

941. Suppose he was already at the beach house,

942. just waiting.

943. Waiting for what, sir?

944. To shoot me, Lieutenant,

945. to take out a gun and to shoot me.

946. With all your security around?

947. You see, sir,

948. if the murderer didn't follow Mr. Stone out, then

949. how would he know

950. that the security men wouldn't have been there?

951. It's a good thought, I didn't think of that.

952. Well. Well, now, what, uh,

953. what do you make of all this, Lieutenant?

954. Nothing conclusive, sir.

955. But maybe the prevailing theory is wrong.

956. Maybe this is not a case of mistaken identity.

957. Maybe the murderer

958. actually wanted to kill Mr. Stone—

959. What're you talking about? That is absurd.

960. Repeated threats are made on my life,

961. and a man wearing my jacket and my hat,

962. driving my car, pulls into my garage

963. and he's shot down dead.

964. And you say that's not a case of mistaken identity.

965. I don't believe that. I just don't believe it.

966. I thought you'd be relieved.

967. But I...

968. I mean, I mean,

969. I thought you'd be happy to know that

970. the murderer wasn't trying to shoot you.

971. Well, Lieutenant, it's—it's not a case of relief.

972. It's a— it's a— it's a case

973. of just trying to intelligently appraise

974. exactly what happened.

975. Absolutely. Absolutely, sir.

976. I have to admit if it was me,

977. I'd feel relieved.

978. I think I've taken up enough of your time.

979. Oh.

980. Sorry.

981. Let me put this back.

982. I like to leave things the way I found them.

983. Your marking pen.

984. You know,

985. isn't it funny the way people react

986. under the stress of a situation?

987. I wasn't talking about you, sir.

988. No, I was talking about Miss Johnson now.

989. I beg your pardon?

990. Miss Johnson.

991. The girl that came in here to pick up an itinerary.

992. I happened to hear that mentioned

993. when I was sitting out there.

994. So she came in and now she walked out without it.

995. See, here it is, sir. It's right here

996. on your desk with her name on it.

997. Well, we were making a number of additions

998. to the itinerary. I suppose she forgot it.

999. You're correct about one thing, Lieutenant.

1000. These campaigns are a lot of pressure.

1001. Lot's of pressure.

1002. Sure they are, sir.

1003. Oh.

1004. There's one thing I almost forgot.

1005. Do you have another minute, sir?

1006. Certainly.

1007. It's just one other thing that bothers me.

1008. Would you mind closing the door, Lieutenant?

1009. Uh,

1010. you know it's almost 35 miles

1011. from the hotel to your beach house.

1012. I believe so.

1013. That's if you go direct.

1014. If you drive around, it could be more.

1015. Of course.

1016. Here's what bothers me, sir.

1017. I personally made that trip myself.

1018. And, uh, I didn't race the motor, you know.

1019. Normal speed,

1020. and I went in the evening, it was cool.

1021. And I didn't go in traffic, no startin' and stoppin'.

1022. So, uh...

1023. Would you get to the point, Lieutenant?

1024. Yeah, it's just that, uh...

1025. Well, it took an hour and 50 minutes

1026. for the engine to cool.

1027. And, uh,

1028. Mr. Stone died, according to his watch,

1029. at 9:20.

1030. I arrived at the scene of crime at 10:00,

1031. 43 minutes later.

1032. When I put my hand on the engine of your car,

1033. it was cold.

1034. All the heat was gone. In only 43 minutes.

1035. And your conclusion?

1036. No conclusion, sir.

1037. I just thought it was strange.

1038. Thought I'd mention it.

1039. Thank you very much.

1040. Mr. Hayward, I forgot to mention,

1041. we got so involved,

1042. but I've asked to be assigned to your security detail.

1043. I just wanted you to know about it.

1044. Oh, Lieutenant, I'd hate to take you away

1045. from your other duties.

1046. I'm sure I'm adequately protected.

1047. Oh, no reflection on the guys on the job,

1048. they're first class.

1049. Now it's just that,

1050. day before the election, we consider it a crucial time

1051. in terms of security.

1052. I understand.

1053. Lieutenant, it'll be a comfort to know you're around.

1054. Thank you very much.

1055. Sir, uh, can I ask you a personal question?

1056. Yeah.

1057. Nothing to do with the case.

1058. What did you pay for the jacket?

1059. Well, I don't remember exactly—

1060. Not that one, sir. The other one.

1061. The other one?

1062. Just a minute.

1063. This one here. Just arrived.

1064. Oh, uh, $200, I think.

1065. No, just the jacket.

1066. That's the price. $200.

1067. No pants?

1068. After all, it was tailor-made for me.

1069. Actually, I had second thoughts

1070. about this jacket. It's, uh...

1071. It's identical to the one

1072. that Harry was wearing when, uh, when you found him.

1073. Yeah, I noticed that.

1074. Uh, where do you get a jacket like that?

1075. From my tailors.

1076. Chadwick's, in Beverly Hills.

1077. Why, Lieutenant, are you, uh, considering

1078. a change of wardrobe?

1079. Oh, no, no. Oh, every once in a while

1080. I think about getting a new coat.

1081. There's no rush.

1082. There's still a lot of wearing in this fellow.

1083. Looks very functional. Thank you.

1084. Lieutenant, uh, really, if, uh,

1085. if there's nothing else, uh...

1086. I got a special affair coming up Saturday night

1087. and I'm in the market for a coat.

1088. I see. Good bye.

1089. Yes. Appreciate it very much.

1090. You're leaving for Monaco tomorrow, huh?

1091. The family? Good. Bon voyage.

1092. Mrs. Armstrong, we'll see you back. Yes.

1093. Uh, may we assist you, sir?

1094. Uh, yeah, I'm looking for a jacket.

1095. Do you have anything, uh, particular in mind?

1096. Uh, yeah, but, uh,

1097. I don't see any jackets here.

1098. Well, naturally, our clothes are custom-made.

1099. Yeah, I understand, but I thought you'd have

1100. a model, at least something that you could look at.

1101. Well, exactly what did you have in mind?

1102. A sport jacket.

1103. Any particular material?

1104. Uh, something soft.

1105. Cashmere?

1106. It could be.

1107. Flannel?

1108. Flannel? Is that soft?

1109. Camel hair, that's nice.

1110. Soft. Is it soft?

1111. Soft, yes.

1112. Uh, any particular color?

1113. Brown.

1114. But there are so many shades of brown, sir,

1115. there's, uh, midnight brown...

1116. Light brown.

1117. On the light side? Uh, cream.

1118. Um...

1119. Light. In that area.

1120. Yes, uh, um, tan. Would you say tan?

1121. Could be in that area.

1122. More on the tan side.

1123. A light brown.

1124. Something like between this and this.

1125. Let me show you something.

1126. Fine.

1127. This material we call Sands of Morocco.

1128. Came in last week. Delightful.

1129. No. No lines.

1130. No. No lines. Oh, yes, you did say

1131. you did say light and beige.

1132. This one, sir? Right here.

1133. Uh, it's too rough.

1134. All right. Let's try this one.

1135. I'm sure this is a very good material.

1136. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's it.

1137. Softness?

1138. Yeah, that's it.

1139. Oh, that's beautiful.

1140. Yes. Yes, it is.

1141. Yeah.

1142. Okay, now let me ask you something.

1143. If I had a jacket made up in this material,

1144. now, would that be something that would fit me?

1145. Monsieur, we have the finest tailors

1146. in all the world.

1147. No, I don't mean—

1148. We've been in this business for quite some time.

1149. No, I don't mean that it would fit me.

1150. What I mean is that whether it would fit my...

1151. Your personality?

1152. style. Right.

1153. Yes. I guarantee you'll be most satisfied.

1154. Because I want to look...

1155. I'm going to an affair, you see.

1156. Oh, splendid, an affair, very nice.

1157. Yeah, my wife's bowling league's

1158. having this dinner dance.

1159. It's an annual thing, $17.50 a couple.

1160. I want to look good.

1161. Your wife. Very well, sir.

1162. You think this will be all right?

1163. Oh, yes, quite sure. Mario.

1164. All right, all right, let me take one of them.

1165. You'll have that ready by Saturday?

1166. Well, sir, I, um, I'm afraid

1167. that is one of the things we cannot do.

1168. No, you see,

1169. our customers are required to allow us at least,

1170. at least 10 days following first fitting.

1171. Ten days?

1172. Thank you. Excuse me, sir.

1173. Oh, it's 10 days?

1174. Yes.

1175. Oh.

1176. Look, I—I was kind of afraid of that, but, uh...

1177. I'll tell you who sent me over here.

1178. A friend of mine. Mr. Nelson Hayward.

1179. He gave me your name.

1180. So I thought that maybe you could

1181. give me a—a rush job, like you gave him

1182. because he told me he had one delivered

1183. just like that today.

1184. I saw it.

1185. Mr. Hayward?

1186. You did say Mr. Nelson Hayward?

1187. Yeah.

1188. Mario, do you... Oh, yes. I—I do recall.

1189. Yes. That—that delivery was made today.

1190. Oh, yes, I'm quite sure.

1191. Uh, but as I recall,

1192. the garment that was ordered

1193. to be first fitted for Mr. Hayward was on the, uh,

1194. was on the 16th.

1195. Oh.

1196. Oh, that long, huh? May I see that?

1197. Yes.

1198. Well, 10 days.

1199. Right. Well, that's a problem.

1200. The affair is Saturday night. Uh...

1201. Uh, perhaps, may I suggest, uh, department stores?

1202. Right.

1203. Thank you very much.

1204. All right.

1205. Thank you. It is with a real pleasure

1206. that we dedicate

1207. this community recreation center.

1208. The California Human Relations Society

1209. can be proud of its achievement

1210. in helping maintain and create

1211. new social and recreational facilities

1212. such as this one.

1213. Thank you.

1214. Thank you very much. That's very nice.

1215. Bye-bye.

1216. Hello.

1217. Excuse me. Sorry.

1218. Excuse me. Sorry.

1219. Ma'am. Ma'am.

1220. No, thank you very much.

1221. Ma'am, we've never officially met.

1222. I'm from the Police. Lt. Columbo.

1223. I'm investigating Mr. Stone's murder.

1224. Oh, Mrs. Hayward will be through in a few minutes.

1225. Actually, I was wondering

1226. if I might have a word with you.

1227. Will you do this for me now?

1228. Sure.

1229. I don't know anything about the case.

1230. Excuse me.

1231. Miss Johnson. Miss Johnson.

1232. That's your name?

1233. Yes.

1234. You'd be surprised how helpful

1235. people on the scene can be.

1236. Let me see.

1237. You're Mrs. Hayward's appointments secretary.

1238. That's right.

1239. Could you tell me about the arrangements you made

1240. for Mrs. Hayward's surprise party

1241. the night of the murder?

1242. I didn't make the arrangements.

1243. You didn't?

1244. Uh-huh.

1245. Oh, that's funny.

1246. Why is that?

1247. Uh,

1248. you know, my wife is very well-organized.

1249. I mean she takes care of our social life.

1250. I work these strange hours, you see.

1251. So I just assumed that somebody

1252. as busy as Mr. Hayward

1253. would have somebody else set up these things.

1254. Well, then, maybe you should ask

1255. Mr. Hayward's secretary. Excuse me.

1256. I did ask her.

1257. Didn't know anything about it.

1258. Well, what do you want me to do about it?

1259. Is Mr. Hayward good about these things?

1260. Birthday parties, sentimental occasions?

1261. Well, I don't know Mr. Hayward that well,

1262. but I understand that he is quite thoughtful

1263. and considerate.

1264. Could Mr. Hayward have made these arrangements?

1265. I really don't know, Lieutenant.

1266. Could Mr. Stone have made those arrangements?

1267. Oh, what difference does it make?

1268. I don't know, Lieutenant.

1269. No difference. By itself.

1270. But if I could find out who made the arrangements,

1271. then I wouldn't be so troubled by this other thing.

1272. What thing?

1273. The fact that Mr. Stone

1274. never knew anything about a party.

1275. Mr. Stone didn't know there was a party?

1276. No, ma'am.

1277. How do you know that, Lieutenant?

1278. I checked his appointments calendar.

1279. Oh, maybe it was just an oversight.

1280. Mr. Stone was very efficient.

1281. And my notes say that from the start

1282. of the campaign till now, he kept

1283. a detailed record of Mr. Hayward's schedule.

1284. Knew where to reach him. Every hour.

1285. Night or day.

1286. Not one word about the party.

1287. But they weren't close socially.

1288. Why is that?

1289. Uh, different kind of men.

1290. In what way?

1291. Mr. Stone was rather crude, rather aggressive.

1292. You knew Mr. Stone very well?

1293. No, not really.

1294. I was just wondering who hired you.

1295. Um, actually Mr. Hayward hired me.

1296. I was doing some, uh, volunteer work

1297. during the primary.

1298. I can understand that.

1299. He's a very attractive man.

1300. Yes, I like him, Lieutenant.

1301. I like him for what he represents.

1302. He's a man of great courage and integrity.

1303. Well, I'm sure that's what attracted you to him

1304. as a candidate.

1305. May I say this?

1306. I think you're a wonderful girl.

1307. And I think that Mr. Hayward is—is very lucky

1308. to have someone like you supporting him.

1309. Thank you.

1310. Thank you very much.

1311. Sorry.

1312. Excuse me, Officer. Could you help me out?

1313. Pull right up there, please.

1314. I was wondering, do you know—

1315. Just pull it up there, huh. Thank you.

1316. You know where, uh, Ridgeway Drive is?

1317. I'm afraid I don't know this neighborhood.

1318. May I see your driver's license, please?

1319. Yeah.

1320. I'm on the force, LAPD. Lt. Columbo.

1321. Uh, you have any identification, Lieutenant?

1322. Yeah.

1323. Always in the wrong pocket.

1324. This isn't a Department car, is it?

1325. No, this is mine.

1326. Well, I'll have to inspect your car, Lieutenant.

1327. Oh, that's all right.

1328. May I see your license, please?

1329. Yeah.

1330. You still live at the same address, Lieutenant?

1331. Yeah. Look, I just had it in for a checkup,

1332. only, uh, you know, a tune-up, two months ago.

1333. Well, it'll only take a couple of moments, Lieutenant.

1334. Would you try, uh, your lights and your turn signal, please,

1335. and open the hood for me?

1336. This is Lt. Columbo, LAPD.

1337. Hi, Lieutenant.

1338. I'm looking for Ridgeway Drive.

1339. Ridgewood, uh, three blocks, turn left

1340. and go about a mile and a half.

1341. It's on your right hand side. You can't miss it.

1342. Thanks.

1343. Lieutenant, would you kindly

1344. turn on your windshield wipers?

1345. They were working perfect yesterday.

1346. I must've lost one in a car wash.

1347. Sign right here, please, Lieutenant.

1348. Everything all right?

1349. Your right turn signal is out.

1350. Your high beam doesn't work

1351. and your smog device is leaking.

1352. One of those windshield wipers is out, too.

1353. You'll have two weeks to correct these things.

1354. Thank you very much.

1355. You ever, uh, considered getting another car?

1356. I got another car. My wife drives it.

1357. But that's nothing special.

1358. Just transportation.

1359. Thanks for the directions.

1360. You're welcome.

1361. Car is ready.

1362. Okay. Listen, uh,

1363. thank you very much for the loan of the truck.

1364. That helped me out.

1365. Saved me a little time

1366. and here's a little something for you.

1367. No problem. Your bill's over here.

1368. That'll be, uh, $65.25.

1369. That much, huh?

1370. Not the parts so much as the time it took.

1371. It's not easy to work on a car in that condition.

1372. You take a check?

1373. You haven't got a credit card?

1374. Uh, I'm from the police.

1375. Lt. Columbo.

1376. What are you undercover or something?

1377. No, I'm underpaid.

1378. What about the check, would you take one?

1379. Yeah. Sure, I'll take a check.

1380. Okay.

1381. I was sure I brought my checkbook,

1382. maybe I left it at home.

1383. You have a countercheck?

1384. Yeah. Over here.

1385. Here.

1386. Oh.

1387. You investigating that murder last week at the beach?

1388. Yeah.

1389. My luck.

1390. One night we have a little excitement

1391. and I miss it.

1392. What do you mean?

1393. Wednesday night we ran out of gas.

1394. Closed at 8:00.

1395. Closed?

1396. Yes.

1397. Yeah, I know.

1398. You better bring us blue suits down there.

1399. And a fresh shirt and tie.

1400. Yeah, I'll be all right.

1401. Black shoes and black socks.

1402. Mr. Hayward.

1403. Yes?

1404. May I see you?

1405. Excuse me a minute, gentlemen.

1406. That policeman who was at campaign headquarters

1407. this morning?

1408. He showed up at the dedication this afternoon.

1409. What did he want?

1410. He makes me nervous.

1411. What did he want?

1412. He wanted to know why Harry Stone

1413. didn't know about your wife's surprise party.

1414. What does it mean?

1415. Nothing. Nothing.

1416. Just trying to make a name for himself, darling.

1417. Don't get nervous.

1418. The important thing is that you don't get upset.

1419. Don't let him get to you.

1420. Okay.

1421. Gentlemen?

1422. Oh, Mr. Hayward?

1423. What is it you want, Lieutenant?

1424. Oh, nothing, sir.

1425. I'm just looking for the head security guy.

1426. They told me he was up here.

1427. I think I'm working that 8:00 shift.

1428. I can't wait to get started.

1429. Uh, I last saw him in the kitchen.

1430. Oh. Oh, thank you very much.

1431. Oh, sir,

1432. listen, a couple of things came up

1433. that I want to discuss with you,

1434. but I don't want to burden you now,

1435. because I can see you got a lot on your mind.

1436. Quite to the contrary.

1437. There's no time like the present.

1438. What can I do for you?

1439. Why don't you gentlemen go on and wait in the patio.

1440. I'll be right there.

1441. Oh, listen, I don't want to inconvenience you.

1442. Not at all.

1443. You got this TV thing on you mind.

1444. No, no, no, let's understand something.

1445. You see, you think I'm reluctant

1446. to talk to you. But you're wrong.

1447. I will talk to you as often as you want,

1448. for as long as you want

1449. about anything you want.

1450. Okay.

1451. Oh, fine.

1452. Well, uh, I'll tell you, one of the things

1453. that's bothering me—

1454. Why don't we sit down, eh?

1455. Sit down here. Make yourself comfortable.

1456. Thank you very much.

1457. Uh,

1458. one of the things that's bothering me—

1459. Would you like a drink? I'll fix you a drink.

1460. No. Thank you very much. No.

1461. Uh, you see, uh...

1462. You make me feel so important,

1463. I forgot what I was going to say.

1464. Uh... Oh.

1465. Well, listen, let me start with

1466. how much I like your jacket.

1467. I really love it.

1468. Do you mind?

1469. Soft as butter.

1470. Camel's hair.

1471. Would you believe it? The first thing I did this morning

1472. when I left your campaign headquarters,

1473. I run right over to your tailor's.

1474. I'm sure he was delighted.

1475. He loves a challenge.

1476. What do you mean, sir?

1477. Nothing, nothing, it's a small joke.

1478. Oh, you mean about fitting me? I'm not hard to fit.

1479. No, just the legs. Now, something goes funny

1480. in here with the legs, but, uh...

1481. Uh, jackets, I pick them right off the rack,

1482. they fit like a glove.

1483. I didn't go to the guy for a good fit. No, sir.

1484. Well, I went for the material. And you know what?

1485. And, uh...

1486. This is the thing that bothers me.

1487. It takes this guy 10 days to make a jacket.

1488. And you need one by...

1489. Saturday.

1490. Too bad.

1491. But that's not what bothers me.

1492. No, my problem is—

1493. Lieutenant, I'm going to make myself a drink.

1494. You sure I can't fix you one?

1495. No.

1496. You were saying your problem is...

1497. Yes, I was saying that my problem is

1498. the jacket that you're wearing was delivered today

1499. which would mean that you had to order it 10 days ago.

1500. But the one that you gave to Mr. Stone

1501. was only ruined four days ago when he got shot.

1502. And, uh,

1503. I just don't understand how you would know

1504. six days in advance

1505. that you would need a new jacket.

1506. Oh, excuse me, Mr. Hayward, uh, the director

1507. would like to check some camera angles.

1508. Lieutenant, did you happen to examine the jacket?

1509. The old one?

1510. Me, personally? No, sir.

1511. Because, if you had taken the trouble to examine it,

1512. you'd have found that the cuffs had begun to fray

1513. and there was a little cigarette burn

1514. in the left sleeve.

1515. That's why, 10 days ago, I ordered a new jacket.

1516. Uh, what was it you wanted?

1517. The director would like to see you, please.

1518. Have I satisfied you about the jacket?

1519. Yes, sir.

1520. All right if we walk and talk? Do you mind?

1521. No.

1522. Well,

1523. uh,

1524. this other thing really troubles me, sir.

1525. Just a minute. I don't want to forget that.

1526. Yes, this other thing is a genuine puzzle.

1527. I don't see any answer to this.

1528. Well, maybe I can help you.

1529. Let's hope so, sir.

1530. For your sake or mine?

1531. You're in good humor, sir.

1532. I like to win.

1533. Oh, well.

1534. As I was saying, uh,

1535. I don't see any answer here, sir.

1536. Uh, I went out to your beach house

1537. this afternoon.

1538. I pulled out of your garage, and I roared

1539. down the street at 70 miles an hour

1540. and after three minutes I stopped

1541. and there was nothing there.

1542. No bar, no restaurant, no gas station,

1543. not even a private house. Nothing.

1544. Just a field, highway, and birds.

1545. What were you looking for?

1546. A phone, sir.

1547. A phone?

1548. Yes, sir.

1549. Mr. Stone's broken watch

1550. fixed the time of death at 9:20.

1551. The killer's phone call came into the police

1552. at exactly 9:23.

1553. Where did the killer call from?

1554. That's what I can't answer.

1555. Closest public phone

1556. is seven minutes away in a gasoline station.

1557. Beats me, sir.

1558. And I've considered every possibility.

1559. You're sure?

1560. As far as I know, yes.

1561. Tell me something, Lieutenant.

1562. Did you know, did you know

1563. that Harry Stone always set his watch

1564. five minutes fast so that he'd never be late

1565. for an appointment? Did you know that?

1566. No, sir, I didn't.

1567. Everybody else knew that.

1568. Instead of the time of death being 9:20,

1569. that would fix it at 9:15.

1570. Now, you say it takes him 7 minutes

1571. to go to the gas station.

1572. Isn't that what you said?

1573. 9:15 and seven gives you 9:22.

1574. Plenty of time to get out change,

1575. light a cigarette and make a telephone call.

1576. Does that answer your question?

1577. No, sir.

1578. Station ran out of gas. Closed early. 8:00.

1579. Mr. Hayward, could we have you now for a voice test, please?

1580. I think we've held them up long enough.

1581. We'll talk later.

1582. What about the house phone?

1583. The murderer could've telephoned

1584. from the beach house.

1585. My keys to my house were right with the car keys.

1586. The call to the police came in downtown.

1587. From your beach house, that's a toll call.

1588. I checked the telephone company.

1589. No record of a call.

1590. Want to step this way, Mr. Hayward?

1591. We'll give you some marks over here. Yeah.

1592. Here's your ending mark.

1593. There. Okay.

1594. Do you want to, uh, have me just walking up to the camera,

1595. or do you want to discover me here right away?

1596. I presume that the paid telephone

1597. in the gas station was inside.

1598. Inside, sir?

1599. We'll have you walk right into the camera,

1600. it'll make you appear more relaxed.

1601. Okay.

1602. Yeah, sure.

1603. Fine, fine.

1604. Make up.

1605. Let me see the tie.

1606. Okay, that's fine. Thank you.

1607. Okay.

1608. Afternoon.

1609. Good afternoon.

1610. Do you have a minute?

1611. Yes.

1612. How long did you know Mr. Stone?

1613. Oh, a long time. Why?

1614. Did he always wear those clothes?

1615. What clothes?

1616. About there.

1617. Good. That's out of picture, isn't it, boys?

1618. These are his shoes. Heavy.

1619. Look at the soles on them.

1620. Okay, that's fine. Thank you.

1621. Oh, that was Harry. He wasn't very stylish.

1622. No. No Italian loafers for him.

1623. Yeah, if he wore it, it was durable.

1624. If it was nothing else, it was durable.

1625. You know, that's what struck me.

1626. It's the same thing with his suit.

1627. I checked with the salesman and he says

1628. that's how they sell these things.

1629. I mean, that's their main feature.

1630. They never wear out.

1631. Well, that's Harry.

1632. Tape is rolling.

1633. All right, everybody, quiet please.

1634. This will be a take.

1635. "Hayward Campaign, Scene 3A. Take one."

1636. Very quiet.

1637. Mr. Hayward, action.

1638. Good afternoon. I'm Nelson Hayward.

1639. One of the major concerns in our nation

1640. and in this state is crime.

1641. Many of us have been its victims.

1642. Why do you ask?

1643. No, it just bothered me because his watch

1644. doesn't match with his clothes.

1645. Good afternoon, I'm Nelson Hayward.

1646. Come again?

1647. Here's his watch.

1648. See, it's a skinny little thing.

1649. It's easy to break.

1650. Don't mix with the shoes. Oil and water.

1651. You follow my meaning?

1652. You know, you're right, because...

1653. Shh.

1654. To give us additional weapons to fight against the thief.

1655. We better get out of here

1656. before we both get in trouble.

1657. Okay. We'll go over there.

1658. If I'm elected to the United States Senate,

1659. I would propose new, tough

1660. crime legislation.

1661. Crime on the streets today is a brutal reality.

1662. And it's not gonna stop until the criminal

1663. no longer feels that the courts...

1664. Neither do I, but it's interesting.

1665. Do you know that I actually went

1666. to a jewelry store

1667. and I actually brought these shoes

1668. and this suit with me?

1669. Now I said to the salesman,

1670. "Look, these are very durable items.

1671. "Now suppose the owner of these items

1672. "wanted the same quality in his watch

1673. "that he had in his shoes.

1674. What kind of a watch would he buy?"

1675. You know, the guy had an answer.

1676. Well, what did he say?

1677. I got it right here.

1678. Look at this watch. You won't believe this.

1679. I intend to look after the rights

1680. of these victims.

1681. You can't break it.

1682. I don't care what you do.

1683. He's still ticking.

1684. You're right.

1685. I don't know what all this means, Lieutenant,

1686. but I agree with you.

1687. I think Harry would buy that kind of a watch.

1688. Not that other funny little thing.

1689. You do?

1690. Yeah.

1691. Mrs. Hayward,

1692. I'm gonna ask you a question now.

1693. I'm afraid it's gonna be unsettling,

1694. but I'm gonna ask it anyhow.

1695. Go ahead.

1696. for the criminal to run loose.

1697. I want the decent,

1698. law-abiding citizen of this country

1699. to be able to walk the streets without fear.

1700. This is Nelson Hayward.

1701. I would appreciate your support. Thank you.

1702. Okay, cut. Hold it. Thank you.

1703. We'll do it again, boys.

1704. That was very good, Mr. Hayward.

1705. But, uh, you kinda lost concentration in the middle there.

1706. You were looking in the direction of your wife.

1707. All right, all right. Let's do it again.

1708. Right away, quick.

1709. Nelson.

1710. Nels, Nels, we just got a break.

1711. One of the newsboys leaked

1712. Davis' rebuttal questions to us.

1713. They're dynamite.

1714. We can have you briefed in an hour.

1715. In a minute, in a minute. I'll be, uh... Just one minute.

1716. I'll be right back.

1717. Yes, dear.

1718. Honey, that detective, he wanted to know

1719. if at the night of the party,

1720. if you left the room between 9:15 and 9:30.

1721. Why did he want to know that?

1722. I don't know what he's up to, darling. Just ignore him.

1723. Honey, he's—he's a homicide detective, he's not just—

1724. I know. Don't let him upset you. Don't, don't.

1725. Okay. But he wanted to know if—if you got along with Harry.

1726. All right. Pay no attention to him, darling.

1727. You're getting upset.

1728. Look, wait a minute. He said it wasn't a political murder.

1729. That whoever killed Harry—

1730. Listen, darling, I'm at the peak of a political career.

1731. I'm under enormous pressure.

1732. Someone is trying to kill me.

1733. Now, that is a fact, isn't it?

1734. I don't know what the police are up to.

1735. Harry was killed driving my car,

1736. in my clothes, and in my garage.

1737. Do I have to get gunned down in the streets

1738. before anybody believes it?

1739. It's—it's—it's difficult enough, darling.

1740. Don't make it any tougher than it is. Huh? Okay?

1741. It's gonna be all right, baby.

1742. I'll make it all right.

1743. This is Larry Burrell

1744. at the headquarters of Nelson Hayward,

1745. candidate for the special election

1746. for United States Senator.

1747. The polls opened at 7:00 this morning

1748. here in Los Angeles.

1749. And Registrar of Voters, Roger Neufeld,

1750. is predicting a 72% voter turnout

1751. which is exceptionally high for an off-year election.

1752. There is a real air of excitement

1753. here at Hayward headquarters

1754. as the last statewide poll showed him leading

1755. by a margin of 8%.

1756. However, the "Get out the vote" campaign

1757. continues in high gear

1758. with the, uh, professional staff here

1759. coordinating with volunteer groups

1760. throughout the county.

1761. We'll be bringing you Election Day highlights

1762. on the noon news, and of course

1763. starting at 5:00 p.m.,

1764. we'll stay with the voting results

1765. until the final tabulations are made.

1766. This is Larry Burrell at Hayward headquarters.

1767. Send in Miss Johnson, please.

1768. Good morning, darling.

1769. That's for luck.

1770. And I could use some.

1771. Is something wrong?

1772. Election Day.

1773. Well, what is it?

1774. Nothing I want you to worry over, darling.

1775. Come on, now. There is something wrong.

1776. Now tell me. What is it? Please.

1777. Come and take a look at this.

1778. Oh, no.

1779. Easy, darling.

1780. Oh, Nelson, before Harry was killed,

1781. there was a possibility that

1782. these were just idle threats, but not now.

1783. Where did you find it?

1784. On my desk this morning.

1785. Well, haven't you told the police yet?

1786. Oh, no.

1787. Linda, I'm scared.

1788. Well, I should think so.

1789. Darling, no, no, don't you understand?

1790. The police aren't going to help.

1791. Lt. Columbo thinks

1792. that all the threats were fake

1793. just for sympathy and publicity.

1794. What?

1795. They're never gonna believe

1796. that I didn't just plant this thing here myself.

1797. I tell you, if just somebody else

1798. would have found it.

1799. The police will never believe me.

1800. All right, I found it.

1801. No, no, darling.

1802. I found it just now.

1803. No, it's best you stay out of it.

1804. Nelson, I'm not going to stand here

1805. and watch you murdered like Harry.

1806. Ask Sgt. Vernon to come in here, please.

1807. Mr. Hayward, one question, please.

1808. Sorry, guys, no more speeches. Now it's up to the people.

1809. It's not political, it's this latest threat on your life.

1810. Any comment on that?

1811. Well, of course I'm concerned, it's obviously

1812. from the same source as all the others.

1813. Happily, I'm—I'm well guarded.

1814. You have any special plans for the day?

1815. Well, just to hang around the suite for a few hours.

1816. And later, Mrs. Hayward and I are going out and vote.

1817. I'm not that confident.

1818. So if I win by two votes, you'll know whose those were.

1819. Where's Columbo?

1820. He's in the press room.

1821. Lieutenant?

1822. Yeah.

1823. Lieutenant?

1824. Yeah.

1825. Mr. Hayward is back in his suite, sir.

1826. Oh, Sergeant! Sergeant!

1827. Yes, sir?

1828. Listen, uh, you let me know if Mr. Hayward is ever alone.

1829. Oh, no, we won't leave him alone, sir.

1830. No, I mean, if he goes to the bathroom,

1831. you know, to take a shower or something.

1832. All right, right, sir.

1833. And from the Los Angeles County Registrar

1834. we have word that 42%

1835. of the registered voters have already turned out.

1836. Which is unusually heavy voting

1837. for this early hour in a special election.

1838. It looks like we may be headed

1839. for some kind of a record.

1840. San Diego County also reports a heavy turnout, and 36%

1841. of registered voters having already voted.

1842. Bad weather in San Francisco and some northern counties

1843. have kept the totals low there so far

1844. with only 25% reporting in San Francisco

1845. and Alameda counties.

1846. The Orange County vote

1847. looks to be exceptionally high

1848. with over 50% of registered voters

1849. having cast their ballots so far.

1850. What's in the case, please, ma'am?

1851. Uh, Mr. Hayward's asked me to bring it

1852. from his office.

1853. Is it locked?

1854. I don't know.

1855. Would you try it, please?

1856. I'll have to take a look into it.

1857. Mr. Hayward's orders, ma'am.

1858. Everything and everybody coming into this suite

1859. has to be searched.

1860. Miss Dodds. I'm sorry.

1861. Perfectly all right.

1862. I'm glad they're taking so much precaution.

1863. According, uh, to the most recent polls,

1864. the youth vote is not expected

1865. to play a significant role in this election.

1866. Both candidates register strongly

1867. with young people,

1868. but a general apathy toward this election

1869. seems to have surfaced on most college campuses.

1870. We're now getting some further word

1871. from the Registrar of Voters in San Francisco.

1872. The turnout has increased dramatically

1873. and the percentage total so far...

1874. Mr. Hayward, a lady brought this

1875. from your office.

1876. She's being searched.

1877. Miss Johnson?

1878. No exceptions, Mr. Hayward. You agreed.

1879. Okay, okay. You—you guys mind if I go in there

1880. and make a few private phone calls?

1881. Certainly not.

1882. lead that is expected in San Diego

1883. and Orange County.

1884. Davis and Hayward were considered

1885. by most pollsters

1886. to be running very close in Los Angeles.

1887. And those votes may turn out

1888. to be a determining factor in this election.

1889. Well, there's no way anybody can get out there

1890. from the next suite,

1891. but I wish you'd stayed inside, sir.

1892. Surely.

1893. people in over two dozen key precincts around

1894. Los Angeles County.

1895. And, uh, I'm just learning from those precincts

1896. that East Los Angeles is turning out for Davis

1897. with, uh, 48% of the vote projected so far.

1898. West Los Angeles and Beverly Hills

1899. reporting 42% of the votes accounted...

1900. All secure, sir.

1901. And the West Valley has so far reported

1902. a turnout of 51%.

1903. Hello.

1904. Yeah.

1905. Lieutenant.

1906. Sgt. Vernon.

1907. Oh.

1908. Yeah.

1909. The candidate's in his bedroom alone.

1910. He had some personal calls to make.

1911. Right.

1912. Davis and Hayward

1913. were considered by most pollsters...

1914. Miss Johnson, would you please take this

1915. to the office and lock it in the safe?

1916. Oh, yes.

1917. I'm sorry about that search before.

1918. I'm not.

1919. You will, uh, join us later?

1920. Yes.

1921. Thursday, I'd be happy...

1922. Vicki?

1923. Hello, Linda.

1924. Hello.

1925. Oh, Mrs. Hayward, will you be, uh, needing me

1926. anymore this afternoon?

1927. No, but I'm sure that Nelson will.

1928. Thank you.

1929. West Los Angeles and Beverly Hills

1930. are reporting 42% of the votes

1931. accounted for.

1932. I assume we'll be, uh, voting together.

1933. Oh, yes, yes, of course, darling. Right now.

1934. Columbo.

1935. We're just leaving

1936. with the candidate and his wife, to vote.

1937. Good luck, sir!

1938. Good luck.

1939. Thank you very much. Nice to see you.

1940. How wonderful to see you.

1941. San Francisco and other Bay Area communities...

1942. Good luck.

1943. reporting that tabulations are now underway

1944. and we should be getting...

1945. statewide results, and let me remind you

1946. that these are early scattered returns.

1947. We're not even projecting a winner

1948. in most of these precincts.

1949. Fresno now with 28 precincts recording 5,434.

1950. I'm sorry about the search.

1951. I wouldn't have minded so much

1952. had it been you instead of her.

1953. Victoria.

1954. Hello, Lucy.

1955. What a wonderful, wonderful day.

1956. Lucy.

1957. How are you?

1958. Davis, 1,138, Hayward, 2,014.

1959. Visalia, 9 precincts reporting, Davis, 411,

1960. Hayward, 505.

1961. Humboldt, with, uh, 4 precincts reporting,

1962. Hayward, 211, Davis, 202,

1963. Sacramento, 31 precincts reporting, Davis, 4,200,

1964. Hayward, 3,460...

1965. Out there! Out there!

1966. I'm all right.

1967. This is Mrs. Hayward, leave her be. I'm fine!

1968. I'm fine, I'm fine.

1969. Please tell everybody I'll be all right!

1970. Get some men in that next room.

1971. Quiet down out there!

1972. Everything's under control!

1973. I sat down here

1974. and I started to make a phone call

1975. and moved my head a little closer to the dial...

1976. He fired from out there.

1977. All I could see was a figure.

1978. Get two men in that suite next door.

1979. After that, get this hotel surrounded.

1980. Nobody leaves.

1981. Whoever it was, Mr. Hayward, has to have been a human fly.

1982. I don't know how he managed that, uh, ledge out there.

1983. You don't believe anybody else

1984. was in this room?

1985. Oh, please, sir, I didn't mean to imply—

1986. That's exactly what you're implying!

1987. I'm getting sick and tired of police innuendo!

1988. I mean if I fired the shot,

1989. wouldn't there still be a gun here in the room?

1990. Or on me or found in the streets below?

1991. Now, please, Mr...

1992. Why don't you search for it?

1993. Just search for a gun! Go on. I insist!

1994. You start right now with me! Here, here.

1995. All my friends here, my wife,

1996. and everybody here in this suite!

1997. Make room. Let the Lieutenant in.

1998. Step aside.

1999. It's me, Sergeant.

2000. Get him in here.

2001. Somebody just took a shot at Mr. Hayward.

2002. Yeah, I heard. Now I told Rojas

2003. to forget about surrounding the building

2004. because the guy that fired that shot is still in this room.

2005. What?

2006. What's he talking about?

2007. It's all right, It's all right, everybody!

2008. He means me!

2009. You?

2010. Isn't that right?

2011. Yes, sir.

2012. Just as I figured.

2013. It's exactly what I thought you'd say.

2014. I fired the shot, is that it?

2015. Lt. Columbo, was there a gun in this room?

2016. I wouldn't say so, sir. No.

2017. I mean would you concede there's no gun in the room?

2018. Yes, sir.

2019. All right, let me show you something.

2020. Is this a bullet hole in the glass?

2021. Yes, sir.

2022. Would you say it was fired at an angle

2023. calculated to hit a victim in the head

2024. here seated at the phone in this chair?

2025. Yes, sir.

2026. And would you say that,

2027. having failed to hit the intended victim,

2028. the trajectory indicates that this hole in the wall

2029. was caused by the spent bullet?

2030. Yes, sir.

2031. And would you further concede that if this bullet

2032. proves to be from the same gun that killed Harry Stone,

2033. then the same hand fired both shots?

2034. Yes, sir.

2035. Then all that remains for you is to dig the bullet

2036. out of the wall and take it to Ballistics for a comparison!

2037. No, sir.

2038. I've already dug the bullet out of the wall

2039. and Ballistics has already verified

2040. that it came from the same gun.

2041. Here's the bullet.

2042. Here is the ballistics report.

2043. No bullets in the wall. Bullet's right here.

2044. It's in my handkerchief.

2045. There she is.

2046. You see, sir, this afternoon when you told Sgt. Vernon

2047. that you were going to come in here

2048. to make some private phone calls,

2049. I was over there in the press room.

2050. Now this room is 615, and the press room is 616.

2051. When you call from here, it lights up over there

2052. because you installed

2053. that special three-way rotary system.

2054. So I kept watching the phone for 615 to light up.

2055. Yeah, it's lit up now. Can you see that?

2056. I kept waiting for that button to light up.

2057. It never lit up.

2058. I didn't know what the hell you were doing here.

2059. I knew you weren't makin' a call.

2060. And I confess, I got curious.

2061. And when you and your wife, when you went to vote,

2062. I took advantage of that opportunity

2063. to come in here and look around.

2064. I found that bullet hole in the glass door

2065. and that took me to the wall.

2066. I dug this bullet out of that wall

2067. three hours before you said that

2068. somebody fired it at you three minutes ago.

2069. You're under arrest, sir.