1. You're late.Copy !req
2. I'm sorry.
The path out there was dark.Copy !req
3. Anybody see you?Copy !req
4. No. And I parked
where you told me.Copy !req
5. Good. Take that.Copy !req
6. Pull yourself together.
There's no reason to be frightened.Copy !req
7. It's just my uncle.
And I assure you,Copy !req
8. he's far more amiable now
than he ever was when he was alive.Copy !req
9. I'll be all right.Copy !req
10. Of course you will, my love.Copy !req
11. I couldn't possibly be any help to
your career from inside a gas chamber.Copy !req
12. Don't say things like that.Copy !req
13. Anyway, what difference
does my career make?Copy !req
14. Dale, look,
they're all yours now.Copy !req
15. They will be,
but not unless you do your part.Copy !req
16. Don't worry, Dale.
I... I was just a little upset.Copy !req
17. - Now I'm fine.
- Good.Copy !req
18. Now remember,
when you open the window, fire high.Copy !req
19. You better get started.Copy !req
20. That electric blanket
goes back upstairs...Copy !req
21. Top drawer, left side. How many times
have you told me that? Dale, hurry!Copy !req
22. All right, Melvin,
5,000 and it's a steal.Copy !req
23. Would you please move faster?
Uh, boys, keep those bottles popping.Copy !req
24. Thank you. Good evening.Copy !req
25. One thousand dollars?
And you're not even a Frenchman.Copy !req
26. Well, you see, the only thing
I really need is...Copy !req
27. something pink
for the guest bathroom.Copy !req
28. I just paint the pictures, ma'am,
I don't set prices.Copy !req
29. Don't pick on my artist, darling.Copy !req
30. After all, your husband
adores cactus. He told me so.Copy !req
31. I know, but it's the wrong shade
of pink for the wallpaper.Copy !req
32. Well, how about 800?Copy !req
33. I mean, that's if he takes
the green Indian to go in the office.Copy !req
34. Mind you... I'm so glad you...Copy !req
35. Oh, excuse me.Copy !req
36. Dale! Dale Kingston,
I don't believe it.Copy !req
37. Your invitation said free champagne,
Mitilda, my love.Copy !req
38. Oh, you're such a snob. You never
come to my showings. Sam, quick!Copy !req
39. Well, I had nothing to do
tonight anyway.Copy !req
40. I was half hoping that
it'd be over by...Copy !req
41. Oh, it's just begun.
Please, Dale. Excuse me.Copy !req
42. Sam... This is Sam Franklin.Copy !req
43. It's his first private showing,
so would you please be nice?Copy !req
44. Honey, this is Dale Kingston.Copy !req
45. - How do you do?
- Yes, yes. How do you do, sir?Copy !req
46. Oh, you must be the artist of these,
uh, arid little landscapes, aren't you?Copy !req
47. Well, they're not too bad.
Not too bad at all.Copy !req
48. - Mr. Kingston? Mr. Dale Kingston?
- Yes.Copy !req
49. And you're the famous art critic?Copy !req
50. Well, as of the moment, yes,
whatever the moment happens to be...Copy !req
51. Of course he is, darling, and you're
already raving about Sam's work.Copy !req
52. I'm sorry, dear.Copy !req
53. But you couldn't possibly have
this cactus for a penny less than 12.Copy !req
54. - I have five minutes to 11:00, sir.
- Five to 11:00.Copy !req
55. - Yes.
- So it is.Copy !req
56. Thank you very much, Mr., uh, Franklin.Copy !req
57. - Oh, of course you'd love champagne.
- Oh, you bet.Copy !req
58. Sam, the painting.Copy !req
59. And so that the meaning of the mobile
stems not only from its form,Copy !req
60. but the relationship between the pieces,
which gives it its meaning.Copy !req
61. And I suppose the relationship between the
pieces is really where it's at, isn't it?Copy !req
62. Yes.Copy !req
63. It's not so much a question of
his masculinity.Copy !req
64. I think the artist
just saw him that way.Copy !req
65. I'll drink to that.Copy !req
66. You notice no matter
how abstract the painter,Copy !req
67. he always signs his name
realistically, doesn't he?Copy !req
68. Of course.Copy !req
69. - Were you home tonight?
- Oh, no, sir.Copy !req
70. My wife and I left the house at 8:00.
It's our regular night off.Copy !req
71. There's just you and your wife?
No other servants in a place this size?Copy !req
72. Well, Mr. Matthews seldom entertained.Copy !req
73. He was divorced many years ago
and has very few friends.Copy !req
74. Tonight I believe he planned
to spend in his room reading.Copy !req
75. Just a minute.Copy !req
76. You got all this, Columbo?
You want anything more from Mr. Evans?Copy !req
77. No.Copy !req
78. Please, sir!Copy !req
79. Mr. Matthews was very fussy
about smoking.Copy !req
80. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
81. Oh, Doctor,
call us from downtown, will ya?Copy !req
82. Oh, I don't think the autopsy
will change my opinion.Copy !req
83. It was a single bullet.
Must've died almost instantly.Copy !req
84. And the time of death?Copy !req
85. Oh, I'd say around 11:00,
give or take a few minutes.Copy !req
86. - Wasn't it?
- Yeah. The body was still warm.Copy !req
87. Talk to you later, Captain.Copy !req
88. Oh, Mr. Kingston. I've been trying to
reach you. I'm so terribly sorry.Copy !req
89. - Somebody broke in, I assume?
- Yes, your uncle probably came down...Copy !req
90. I told him about it. He just got back to
his apartment at 2:00,Copy !req
91. after some party at a gallery, he says.Copy !req
92. There are two paintings missing, I think.
I told them to hold everything for you.Copy !req
93. Mr. Kingston, we've been waiting to dust
some of these canvases for fingerprints.Copy !req
94. Evans wouldn't let us
touch anything but the frames.Copy !req
95. Well, it's perfectly all right.Copy !req
96. No problem as long as you're careful.
Which ones did you want?Copy !req
97. These right here.Copy !req
98. I suppose he's gonna be
your new boss, huh?Copy !req
99. Well, I would hope he keeps on
and keeps the house.Copy !req
100. After all, he's Mr. Matthews's
only living relative.Copy !req
101. - But, really, sir, at a time like this...
- Oh, listen. I'm sorry.Copy !req
102. Of course. You're absolutely right.Copy !req
103. Would you like to spend some time with
your wife? I'm sure she's very upset.Copy !req
104. Thank you.Copy !req
105. Uh, Mr. Kingston,
before you get too involved there...Copy !req
106. - Excuse me a minute, Captain.
- Okay.Copy !req
107. I wonder if maybe first you'd try to
help me out with a problem I have?Copy !req
108. - Yes.
- Um, it's this...Copy !req
109. - This painting.
- Well, what's the problem?Copy !req
110. Haven't you ever seen people
without faces before?Copy !req
111. They've loaned them out.Copy !req
112. You've heard of two-faced people,
I suppose?Copy !req
113. Oh, yes. But, uh...Copy !req
114. You see, it's this
crazy signature that bothers me...Copy !req
115. DeGrote. George DeGrote.
Quite famous.Copy !req
116. I thought so. Isn't that funny?Copy !req
117. 'Cause I noticed the signatures
on this other painting, um...Copy !req
118. - Does that say Birnbaum?
- Yes, it does.Copy !req
119. That's what I thought.
"Birnbaum."Copy !req
120. You'd think that these artists
would be able to write more clearly.Copy !req
121. Really, do you think all this is
quite appropriate at this time, Mr...Copy !req
122. Oh, I guess not. Uh, I realize this
has been a terrible shock for you.Copy !req
123. - I wanna express my deepest sympathies.
- Thank you, Mr...Copy !req
124. - Lieutenant Columbo.
- Oh, yes. Thank you.Copy !req
125. Uh, tell me, Mr. Kingston,
has anybody tried to rob this place before?Copy !req
126. Certainly. This place is
a magnet for art thieves.Copy !req
127. It's one of the finest collections
in the world.Copy !req
128. Is that so?
Really? Very impressive.Copy !req
129. You seem inordinately fascinated
by these paintings.Copy !req
130. Well, I'll tell you what bothers me.
You see, it's this.Copy !req
131. If you came in here to grab some paintings,
wouldn't you grab a DeGrote first...Copy !req
132. instead of a Birnbaum?Copy !req
133. Perhaps.
But then, I'm an art critic.Copy !req
134. - You're the detective.
- You're the art critic. That's right.Copy !req
135. And I'm gonna need a lot of your help.
I suppose you noticed that already.Copy !req
136. Uh, like in there, there's two
little frames and they're empty,Copy !req
137. and there doesn't seem to be
anything around that fits inside.Copy !req
138. Oh, no.Copy !req
139. Now, Mr. Evans wasn't quite sure either.Copy !req
140. He thought that one of 'em
had some dancing girls.Copy !req
141. But I don't think
he knows much about art either.Copy !req
142. He also said that a lot of these things
had just been rehung.Copy !req
143. That they'd just come back from
some kind of a traveling exhibit?Copy !req
144. Yes, that's what those crates are
out in the hall there.Copy !req
145. I unpacked most of them myself.Copy !req
146. You know, I noticed that a piece of that
wrapping paper had been torn loose.Copy !req
147. These two are listed
in the exhibit catalogue.Copy !req
148. Got that in here somewhere.Copy !req
149. Here, look.Copy !req
150. - Those were the two that were taken?
- Yes.Copy !req
151. - Hey, they're beautiful.
- They're two of my favorites. Degas pastels.Copy !req
152. Pastels? You mean like
the kids use in school?Copy !req
153. Nobody ever used pastels
like Degas, Lieutenant.Copy !req
154. These two alone together happen to be worth
over a half million dollars.Copy !req
155. - You know, that's funny too.
- Not at all.Copy !req
156. There isn't a painting in this entire
exhibit that's worth under 50,000.Copy !req
157. No, I mean that out there,
somebody picked a Birnbaum first.Copy !req
158. Then when your uncle interfered,Copy !req
159. then when he went to his desk
and took out a gun,Copy !req
160. then when he was killed...
in the middle of all that, then...Copy !req
161. the thief suddenly got smart,Copy !req
162. and he took two of the most valuable
paintings in the house and he ran.Copy !req
163. Guess that does seem
a bit inconsistent, doesn't it?Copy !req
164. Then life has its own inconsistencies.Copy !req
165. - It. Columbo?
- Oh, Sally, nice of you to come.Copy !req
166. Let's go out back. I wanna try something.Copy !req
167. Uh, Mr. Kingston,
you might be interested in this.Copy !req
168. - Uh, you were here?
- Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
169. - Wait there. I'll holler.
- All right.Copy !req
170. Hi. Hi, Charlie. How are you?Copy !req
171. What's all this?Copy !req
172. Well, you see, they have private patrolmen
here to make checks at every hour.Copy !req
173. - At 11:00...
- No, no, no. I mean this, this, this.Copy !req
174. - What? Oh, the lock?
- Yes.Copy !req
175. Well, you see, he found that open.Copy !req
176. The lock was scarred like
it'd been forced from the outside.Copy !req
177. Of course, what I don't understand
is why the burglar alarm didn't go off.Copy !req
178. A professional thief could
manage that pretty well, couldn't he?Copy !req
179. No, no, no. You see, professionals,
they always pick windows.Copy !req
180. They're just easier to crack.Copy !req
181. - Sally, are you ready?
- Whenever you are.Copy !req
182. Okay. When I holler inside,
you run just the way I told you to run.Copy !req
183. Okay! Here she goes!Copy !req
184. - Well?
- That's it. That's what I heard.Copy !req
185. I couldn't be sure before.
I was running myself.Copy !req
186. - Now you heard high heels on those stone steps?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
187. - Thank you very much.
- You bet.Copy !req
188. - Charlie, will you get Sally?
- Wait a minute.Copy !req
189. - You mean, you think the thief was a woman?
- One of 'em.Copy !req
190. One of them?Copy !req
191. Well, there were too many pictures for
one person to carry, don't you think?Copy !req
192. And besides, the burglar alarm thing.Copy !req
193. You know, there's only one way
to really beat that...Copy !req
194. is if you have somebody else
from the inside open the door.Copy !req
195. I don't think I understand.Copy !req
196. You know what?
That's the trouble. Neither do I.Copy !req
197. Well, if you ever want to know
any more about art, Lieutenant.Copy !req
198. Oh. Thank you very much. Well, listen,
now that you mention it, tell me this.Copy !req
199. How does a thief get rid of
a painting like that?Copy !req
200. I mean, if they're that famous,
how can anybody sell it?Copy !req
201. Well, someone in
a foreign country maybe.Copy !req
202. Although, art thieves usually try to
make a deal of some kind with the owner,Copy !req
203. the gallery, the insurance company.Copy !req
204. You see, that's what I thought.
It's just like a kidnapping.Copy !req
205. In other words, what they want really
is the ransom.Copy !req
206. - Exactly.
- Right.Copy !req
207. So, you know in this case,Copy !req
208. somebody must be pretty scared
right now, don't you think?Copy !req
209. Might be anxious to settle quick.Copy !req
210. - Possibly.
- Sure.Copy !req
211. You know, and since you're the first person
they might try to contact...Copy !req
212. I'll tell you what.
You give me your telephone number...Copy !req
213. and I'll put a tap on your phone
and we'll monitor all your calls.Copy !req
214. You wouldn't mind that, would you?Copy !req
215. Of course not. Why should I?Copy !req
216. Gee, thank you very much.Copy !req
217. - Good night.
- Good night.Copy !req
218. - Look out!
- Gee, I'm sorry.Copy !req
219. Oh, that's all right. I've been
bumping into things myself today.Copy !req
220. A little bit too much of
the grape last night.Copy !req
221. I didn't clear out of here till 3:00 a.m.Copy !req
222. Mr. Kingston went home
a little earlier than that, I guess.Copy !req
223. Well, he stayed long enough
to make every other gallery owner...Copy !req
224. on the street green with envy.Copy !req
225. Of course, you know,
Dale is usually in London or Paris.Copy !req
226. He doesn't fool around
with us peasants.Copy !req
227. I'll tell you what I really wanna know...
what time he got here.Copy !req
228. Yes. I know, I know.
Uh, Sam is right through there.Copy !req
229. I called the parking boy.
Be over in a minute.Copy !req
230. Sam, this is the policeman
who phoned.Copy !req
231. - Is it all right?
- Uh, bring him in.Copy !req
232. They interrupted Rembrandt,
why shouldn't they interrupt me?Copy !req
233. Yeah, what is it?Copy !req
234. - If I'm interrupting something...
- No, you're not interrupting anything.Copy !req
235. Uh, forgive the mood,
but, uh, you caught me in a bad day.Copy !req
236. - This here is Chris.
- Oh, hi.Copy !req
237. - Hello. Are you an artist?
- No.Copy !req
238. - I can come back another time. I think I'm...
- Go ahead and interrupt.Copy !req
239. - I'm here under duress.
- Thanks a lot.Copy !req
240. - Stop moving! I'm trying to paint you.
- Well, paint.Copy !req
241. Well, actually, it's very routine.
It's not that important. I think...Copy !req
242. Well, me and champagne
are not routine.Copy !req
243. And if you're interested in
finding out about Mr. Kingston,Copy !req
244. what time he got here I don't know.Copy !req
245. Uh, there was something about
his watch, but I'm not sure.Copy !req
246. Might help if you try to remember.Copy !req
247. Oh, yeah. Well...Copy !req
248. Uh, there was something wrong
with his watch.Copy !req
249. Yeah, that's it, and, uh,
and he asked me what time it was.Copy !req
250. - That's it.
- That's it. I see.Copy !req
251. - Well, thanks. Sorry to bother you.
- No bother.Copy !req
252. - Right.
- I'm in my commercial phase right now.Copy !req
253. Yeah. Sam's just mad at
the whole world that's all.Copy !req
254. That's because I made him
put her in his pretty pink cactus.Copy !req
255. Can you imagine? He thinks
the artist should decide what the...Copy !req
256. Mitilda, are you looking for me?Copy !req
257. Fine.Copy !req
258. Well, listen, I'll let you
finish your work. Excuse me.Copy !req
259. - Do come back soon.
- Stop moving!Copy !req
260. All right.Copy !req
261. Hey, Joe, didn't the other boys tell me
you parked Kingston's car last night?Copy !req
262. Sure, I remember.
The guy who gave me two bucks.Copy !req
263. Two bucks?
Just for parking a car?Copy !req
264. No. He lost a cuff link.
I helped him search the whole car for it,Copy !req
265. trunk and everything.Copy !req
266. - Did you find it?
- No. Why?Copy !req
267. Well, you know, most people's trunks,
they're kind of messy to look into.Copy !req
268. His wasn't. Nothing but a spare tire and
a topcoat. Nothing else in the whole car.Copy !req
269. What time was that?
Would you know?Copy !req
270. Oh, sure, 'cause he asked me.Copy !req
271. Something was wrong with
his watch, I guess.Copy !req
272. It was five minutes to 11:00, sir.Copy !req
273. Mmm. Thanks. All right, that's it.Copy !req
274. Now, uh, what is this all about?
Because, like, uh,Copy !req
275. Dale's uncle was murdered
sometime last night, right?Copy !req
276. Oh, no. Oh, no...Copy !req
277. When I think what this
is gonna do to the art world.Copy !req
278. Can you imagine an art critic inheriting
that gorgeous collection? I do.Copy !req
279. Hey. Hey, would you look at that.Copy !req
280. A blue horse?Copy !req
281. Painting the ladies and gentlemen
of the Spanish court with a savage brush.Copy !req
282. Relentlessly, unremittingly
showing them in every detail,Copy !req
283. down to the tiniest wart.Copy !req
284. But, when you take the "W"
off of wart,Copy !req
285. you are still left with "art,"
and Goya was the penultimate artist.Copy !req
286. We will continue our discussion
of this fascinating artist tomorrow.Copy !req
287. Copies of today's lecture...Copy !req
288. may be obtained for a nominal fee
by writing to this station.Copy !req
289. This is Dale Kingston.
Good afternoon.Copy !req
290. Be with us again tomorrow
when Channel 16...Copy !req
291. brings you
Dale Kingston's World of Art.Copy !req
292. Studio 2. Yeah, we just broke.
I'll call him.Copy !req
293. - Telephone call, Mr. Kingston.
- Thank you, Phil.Copy !req
294. Phil, listen. While I've got you,
can we manage to get... Is that on?Copy !req
295. Phil, can't you cut that camera off me
the minute I finish talking, please?Copy !req
296. I'm always left with egg on my face.
Thank you.Copy !req
297. - Yes.
- Dale, I finally got you.Copy !req
298. I remembered you'd be doing your show.Copy !req
299. What are you doing calling?
I told you not to call for a whole week.Copy !req
300. I know, but I was worried.Copy !req
301. That's just free-floating anxiety, dear.
Now, relax. Everything's going just...Copy !req
302. I'm terribly sorry.
No, I simply don't have time.Copy !req
303. Well, Lieutenant.Copy !req
304. Gee, I wish you wouldn't hang up
like that, Mr. Kingston.Copy !req
305. I mean, somebody you don't know
tries to call...Copy !req
306. Lieutenant, I get a dozen calls a day
just like that from would-be artists,Copy !req
307. from ladies who want to evaluate...Copy !req
308. some stupid, little print their
maiden aunts left them in their attic.Copy !req
309. - If I paid attention to every one of 'em...
- You mean, that was a woman?Copy !req
310. Yes, and it wasn't any ransom call
if that's what you're thinking.Copy !req
311. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a museum
to go to, then a dinner, then a lecture.Copy !req
312. Well, I was hoping that
we could have a little time to talk.Copy !req
313. We can get together later if you'd like.Copy !req
314. No, I've gotta take my makeup off anyway.Copy !req
315. - May as well do it now. Follow me.
- Fine. Thank you very much.Copy !req
316. - Uh, so this is a television studio, huh?
- Yes.Copy !req
317. - Quite a place.
- Well, it's a barn, really.Copy !req
318. I'm sure it's not as glamorous
as you'd thought it'd be.Copy !req
319. That's right. It isn't.Copy !req
320. But things aren't really
what they seem to be, are they?Copy !req
321. My, how observant you are.Copy !req
322. Hildy, my beauty,Copy !req
323. how fast do you think
we can get this paint off me?Copy !req
324. I'll use high-speed turpentine.Copy !req
325. Well, anyway, uh,Copy !req
326. I'm sorry to bother you here,
but you haven't been home much.Copy !req
327. Now that's too bad in a way.Copy !req
328. That tap on your phone,
it's not helping us any.Copy !req
329. I'm not
your only possibility, Lieutenant.Copy !req
330. I don't know whether you know this,
but my uncle was married once.Copy !req
331. In fact, his ex-wife still lists herself
in the phone book under her married name.Copy !req
332. So, you see, whoever took those paintings
could very well be trying to contact her.Copy !req
333. You know, somebody mentioned that.Copy !req
334. So I saw Mrs. Matthews this morning.
We're watching her phone too.Copy !req
335. Oh, that must have been
some interview.Copy !req
336. - Aunt Edna can be a bit trying.
- I thought she was kind of nice.Copy !req
337. Oh, she's very nice, but, uh, trying.Copy !req
338. Well, you said you had
some questions you wanted to ask me?Copy !req
339. Yeah. Nothing important,
just a few details.Copy !req
340. Like that backdoor thing.
That really bothers me.Copy !req
341. What about it?Copy !req
342. Um, does that coffee machine work?Copy !req
343. Yes, of course it does.
What about it?Copy !req
344. Well, you know, the lab says that...Copy !req
345. there was just no way for that lock
to be forced from the outside.Copy !req
346. Thank you, Hildy. So?Copy !req
347. - Would you like a coffee?
- No, thanks.Copy !req
348. Well, how did anyone get in?Copy !req
349. You see, Evans is positive that...Copy !req
350. all the doors were locked
when he left the house earlier.Copy !req
351. And I don't see your uncle
letting anyone in, unless he knew 'em.Copy !req
352. Did you come all this way
just to tell me that?Copy !req
353. Well, I thought you'd be interested.
Like, I did clear up one routine thing.Copy !req
354. You know that gallery you went to?
Checked out. Hope you don't mind.Copy !req
355. Well, that's your job. And?Copy !req
356. The parking lot boy, he remembered
when you got there all right.Copy !req
357. So that if Mr. Matthews was killed
at 11:00, then you sure didn't do it.Copy !req
358. Now isn't that a shame, Lieutenant?Copy !req
359. And here I am your best
and most obvious suspect too.Copy !req
360. Aw, don't say things like that.
Really, you've got me all wrong.Copy !req
361. It's just that I get bugged by
those little things.Copy !req
362. Like, no connection.Copy !req
363. But why would a person look in
the trunk of a car for a missing cuff link?Copy !req
364. 'Cause I happened to toss
my topcoat in there...Copy !req
365. in order to
keep it from getting stolen.Copy !req
366. Then I noticed that the link was missing.Copy !req
367. Of course.Copy !req
368. See, I could've guessed that.Copy !req
369. A little while later I found the link
caught in the lining of my sleeve.Copy !req
370. I'm gonna tell you somethin'.Copy !req
371. Do you know that there is
a reasonable explanation for everything...Copy !req
372. if you just put your mind to it?Copy !req
373. Of course, sometimes these things,
they pop up.Copy !req
374. Like with alibis.
Do you know in most cases,Copy !req
375. people, they don't remember
what time it is.Copy !req
376. They forget all that.
Like the artist fella.Copy !req
377. He's all mixed up about the time.Copy !req
378. And Mrs. Matthews, she don't even remember
what time she went to bed last night.Copy !req
379. Well, being sober
might help, I suppose.Copy !req
380. Now, with you, Mr. Kingston,
it's just the opposite. Very unusual.Copy !req
381. With you, we know exactly
where you were and when.Copy !req
382. Not only that,
we know your whole car was empty.Copy !req
383. Yes. Isn't that nice?Copy !req
384. Well, if you'll excuse me.Copy !req
385. Mm. Oh, listen, by the way,
can I show you something?Copy !req
386. It's only gonna take a second.Copy !req
387. Uh, you can rent paintings,
did you know that?Copy !req
388. Yes, I know.Copy !req
389. And my father-in-law,
he loves Western movies,Copy !req
390. so I figured, a few bucks,
you can't get hurt.Copy !req
391. Uh, what do you think?Copy !req
392. Any good?Copy !req
393. For wallpaper in a child's room,
absolutely perfect.Copy !req
394. In fact, it looks like it might've been
done by an untalented 12-year-old.Copy !req
395. You know, I was kind of afraid
you were going to say something like that.Copy !req
396. But you know, then I say,Copy !req
397. why would you bother to go there
last night if this guy's stuff is so bad?Copy !req
398. I mean, this was painted by the artist
whose exhibit you were covering.Copy !req
399. Lieutenant Columbo, unlike my uncle,
I am not independently wealthy.Copy !req
400. I have to work for a living.
Magazines pay me to review art.Copy !req
401. Unfortunately, they pay me best...Copy !req
402. when I write hostile reviews
about hacks like Sam Franklin.Copy !req
403. Oh. Well, I'll tell ya,Copy !req
404. I'd sure hate to see
his review when you write it.Copy !req
405. - Mmm.
- Oh, listen. One more thing.Copy !req
406. It just... It'll just take a second.
I stopped by your apartment a few times.Copy !req
407. Why, do you want to search my place?Copy !req
408. No. Just to ask you something
about art.Copy !req
409. You said you had some books
and things there that I could see.Copy !req
410. You may look at anything you wish.Copy !req
411. You can snoop in all of my closets.
You can peek under the beds.Copy !req
412. You won't find any stolen paintings.Copy !req
413. Oh, really, I've never said
anything about...Copy !req
414. Here. Would you like the key
to my apartment?Copy !req
415. You may simply leave it under the mat
when you leave.Copy !req
416. - No, really. I...
- No, no. Go ahead. I insist.Copy !req
417. See what I live like.
Find out what kind of human being I am.Copy !req
418. Learn everything you can about me.Copy !req
419. Well, I... I mean, I admit
it would be more convenient.Copy !req
420. But, uh, thank you
very much, Mr. Kingston.Copy !req
421. Uh, I'm sorry I took up
so much of your time.Copy !req
422. I might drop by and borrow a few books
or something like that.Copy !req
423. See ya.Copy !req
424. Dale!Copy !req
425. You all right?Copy !req
426. Yeah. I'm sorry I called you.Copy !req
427. Well, I just couldn't wait.
I had to know what was happening.Copy !req
428. Nothing's happening. No problems at all.
Everything's just perfect.Copy !req
429. Now, the gun and the paintings,Copy !req
430. they're still in your car, right?Copy !req
431. Oh, yeah. I did exactly what you told me.
I haven't touched a thing.Copy !req
432. Good. You'll feel a lot better
once you get those off your hands.Copy !req
433. Hold that open for me.Copy !req
434. - Dale!
- What's the matter?Copy !req
435. Well-Well, I never saw them before.
They're beautiful.Copy !req
436. Now why can't I paint like that?Copy !req
437. Patience, my dear. Patience.Copy !req
438. I told you you had talent
when you first came to see me, remember?Copy !req
439. Takes time to get
what you really want.Copy !req
440. Sometimes I think my talent
isn't what you like best about me.Copy !req
441. Well, it's a combination
of things, Myla.Copy !req
442. Dale, you do
care for me, don't you?Copy !req
443. After the risks
you've taken for me?Copy !req
444. Of course I do.Copy !req
445. Now let's get out of here.Copy !req
446. Is there anything else
you want me to do?Copy !req
447. Not a thing.
I'll be in touch with you by phone.Copy !req
448. When will I see you again?Copy !req
449. Very shortly, my love.Copy !req
450. When will I...Copy !req
451. Columbo.Copy !req
452. Mr. Kingston.Copy !req
453. What are you doing here
at this hour of the night?Copy !req
454. Is it night?Copy !req
455. Yes, it is.Copy !req
456. Gee, I...
I must've fallen asleep here.Copy !req
457. I came in to read these book...
Did you get your key?Copy !req
458. I left a key under the mat.
Oh, good. You got it.Copy !req
459. Gee. Yes, I...Copy !req
460. I was readin' these articles.
I must've fallen...Copy !req
461. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm terribly sorry.
I just fell asleep here.Copy !req
462. Look, it's quite late, Lieutenant.
If you don't mind,Copy !req
463. I've just had a tiresome evening
at a lecture,Copy !req
464. after which I spent some time with some
even more tiresome people from the museum.Copy !req
465. - So if you'll excuse me.
- Oh, of course.Copy !req
466. I'll get out of your hair.
I'm-I'm awfully sorry about this.Copy !req
467. Did you pick up something interesting?Copy !req
468. Uh, no, just some, um,Copy !req
469. insipid watercolors that
these people want me to evaluate.Copy !req
470. - Watercolors?
- Yes.Copy !req
471. I was just looking at watercolors.
Matisse? Wonderful.Copy !req
472. I'd love to hear
what you had to say about him.Copy !req
473. - Could we take just a moment...
- No... Lieutenant, please!Copy !req
474. - If you don't mind, I...
- Oh.Copy !req
475. It's quite late. I'm-I'm quite exhausted.
Some other time, please.Copy !req
476. Oh, I'm sorry. Of course.
I should've realized.Copy !req
477. - I just got so caught up in this art thing...
- My phone. My phone, Lieutenant.Copy !req
478. - Your phone?
- My phone.Copy !req
479. It, uh, just might be
people about the ransom.Copy !req
480. Oh. By all means.Copy !req
481. Hello? Yes.Copy !req
482. Yes, he is. Just a moment.
It's for you.Copy !req
483. I told 'em at the office
that I might stop by.Copy !req
484. - Thank you very much.
- It's all right.Copy !req
485. Yeah? What?Copy !req
486. Well, where was it?Copy !req
487. Yes, I understand,
but why are you calling me for?Copy !req
488. Oh. Okay, I'll be right down.Copy !req
489. Mmm.Copy !req
490. Listen, I'm sorry. I gotta run.Copy !req
491. Gee, it's always somethin'.Copy !req
492. This highway patrolman,
he found a girl in a car.Copy !req
493. Ran over a cliff to Malibu Canyon.Copy !req
494. Dead.Copy !req
495. - You get all sorts of cases, don't you?
- Yeah, listen.Copy !req
496. They won't let me live.
What are you gonna do?Copy !req
497. Uh, I'm sorry.
I-I didn't mean to fall asleep here.Copy !req
498. - I hope I didn't bother you too much.
- It's all right.Copy !req
499. Get some rest.Copy !req
500. Mrs. Matthews?Copy !req
501. - Oh, Lieutenant Columbo!
- How are ya?Copy !req
502. I'm fine.Copy !req
503. Good. Listen,Copy !req
504. Mr. Kingston and the attorney
said it was all right if I dropped by.Copy !req
505. - I hope you don't mind.
- Oh, no! Of course not.Copy !req
506. The more, the merrier. But it...Copy !req
507. it does seem such a shame
to hear poor Rudy this way.Copy !req
508. All those "whereases."
It won't sound like him at all.Copy !req
509. You know, lawyers
always have a way of makin'...Copy !req
510. It's like an old movie...Copy !req
511. with all the barristers and the butlers
and the discarded wives...Copy !req
512. all gathering together
in the library to hear the will read.Copy !req
513. Oh! Perhaps we'd better go.Copy !req
514. It's never bothered me
till just about two months ago.Copy !req
515. Really? You know, I have a friend...Copy !req
516. He wasn't always
a very nice man, you know.Copy !req
517. Just business, business, business.Copy !req
518. And then collecting. Oh!Copy !req
519. Collecting like some old pack rat.Copy !req
520. But how anyone
could want to kill Rudy, I...Copy !req
521. - Oh, hello, Dale.
- Edna, darling.Copy !req
522. - Hello, Lieutenant.
- Mr. Kingston.Copy !req
523. What have you got there this time,
a pink rabbit?Copy !req
524. Oh, this? No, no, not really. But it is
something that I wanted to show you.Copy !req
525. - Oh, show me too.
- Edna, my dear.Copy !req
526. - Frank.
- Dale.Copy !req
527. And It. Columbo. We can begin now.Copy !req
528. Mr. Evans and his wife are here already.Copy !req
529. But Lieutenant was just going
to show us...Copy !req
530. Never mind. He'll show me.Copy !req
531. We'll join you in a little while.
Thank you, Frank.Copy !req
532. I hope you're feeling better, Edna.Copy !req
533. What do you think?Copy !req
534. It's frightful.Copy !req
535. That's what I figured.
But you know what?Copy !req
536. I thought maybe you just might
recognize the style or the signature.Copy !req
537. No. Who on earth is Tracy?Copy !req
538. Well, do you remember the other night
when I had to leave your place in a hurry?Copy !req
539. Oh, yes, that highway patrol thing.
Some kind of an accident, wasn't it?Copy !req
540. That's what it looked like.
But you see, I told...Copy !req
541. I said whenever a case comes up that has
anything to do with art or painting,Copy !req
542. you call me.Copy !req
543. Now, wait a minute.
You mean it wasn't an accident?Copy !req
544. Oh, yeah, it's an accident.
I mean, that's what it's listed as.Copy !req
545. But, anyway, you see, the dead girl,
she was some kind of an art student.Copy !req
546. And I thought, well, who knows,
maybe you knew something about her.Copy !req
547. Tracy O'Connor?Copy !req
548. Lieutenant, there must be over 100,000
art students in Southern California.Copy !req
549. Well, you see,Copy !req
550. I remember seein' one of those
lecture schedules in your apartment.Copy !req
551. And a couple of months ago,Copy !req
552. you gave several lectures
in the school where this girl was enrolled.Copy !req
553. - This is what she looks like.
- Be realistic, Lieutenant.Copy !req
554. You think I can remember everyone who
ever sat in on one of my lectures?Copy !req
555. I've never seen that girl before
in my life.Copy !req
556. Why don't you stop wasting
everybody's time?Copy !req
557. These are all minor details.Copy !req
558. - Sit down, Dale, won't you?
- Thank you, Frank.Copy !req
559. "For their devoted service to me...
for the past 10 y..."Copy !req
560. Uh, Lieutenant, why don't you
make yourself comfortable.Copy !req
561. We've uh, skimmed over the preliminaries.
We're now down to the salient points.Copy !req
562. - Proceed as you wish, Counselor.
- Mmm.Copy !req
563. "For their devoted service to me
for the past 10 years,Copy !req
564. I bequeath to Mr. and Mrs. Evans jointly...Copy !req
565. an annual payment of $2,000...Copy !req
566. to be paid on the first day
of each and every year...Copy !req
567. in which either one of them
is still surviving."Copy !req
568. Such a kind man.Copy !req
569. "Finally, to, uh...Copy !req
570. to my primary heir of all previous wills,
to my nephew Dale Kingston,Copy !req
571. whom I once supported through college
and who has had the full freedom...Copy !req
572. of my home and possessions
ever since without thought of recompense,Copy !req
573. I bequeath the full bulk and remainder
of my estate...Copy !req
574. with this one single exception:Copy !req
575. To Edna Matthews, the wife whom
I mistakenly divorced 15 years ago,Copy !req
576. I bequeath
my entire art collection,Copy !req
577. including all of those paintings listed
in the so-called Matthews Collection."Copy !req
578. - Mr. Kingston! Oh, no!
- If you please.Copy !req
579. This will is properly signed and
witnessed as of the 10th of last month.Copy !req
580. Here. I think you all
should take a look at these.Copy !req
581. Dale, I'm sorry.
I-I'm really sorry.Copy !req
582. Oh, no.
Don't be silly, Aunt Edna.Copy !req
583. All it means is that I'll now
be able to criticize...Copy !req
584. your collection
like I used to criticize his.Copy !req
585. - Thank you, Frank.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
586. Lieutenant.Copy !req
587. Mrs. Matthews, I hope...
This is just such a surprise.Copy !req
588. We are... I'm happy for you.Copy !req
589. I know you'll be pleased with it.
I'm sure you will.Copy !req
590. - I wasn't prepared for that.
- Nope. Really is a shock.Copy !req
591. File those, would you, please?
I tried to talk Rudy out of it, naturally.Copy !req
592. He always intended to leave
that collection to Dale.Copy !req
593. Then, give it to her.Copy !req
594. That's why I thought
you'd like to be here.Copy !req
595. - Legally, I couldn't say anything until...
- Oh, sure. I understand that.Copy !req
596. It's just that that was a new will?
Only last month?Copy !req
597. That's correct.
He wrote most of it himself.Copy !req
598. Oh, he promised to let me
draw up something more detailed...Copy !req
599. and complete later on, but...Copy !req
600. Boy, I can't figure it. I...Copy !req
601. You'd think the nephew
would get the paintings.Copy !req
602. I agree. I agree.Copy !req
603. Mr. Matthews had
disagreements with Dale,Copy !req
604. but an art collection like that
is big business.Copy !req
605. To manage that requires
specialized skill, taste.Copy !req
606. Why he'd simply leave the whole thing
to a poor, unstable creature like Ed...Copy !req
607. Those comments are hardly
professional of me, are they?Copy !req
608. One thing, though.Copy !req
609. If Mr. Kingston doesn't get the collection,
he at least gets the rest of the estate.Copy !req
610. It's meaningless.Copy !req
611. He rented that big house. Rudy
disposed of all his business interests.Copy !req
612. There really isn't any
remaining estate to speak of.Copy !req
613. Well, listen, uh,
thanks for lettin' me come down.Copy !req
614. - I gotta get back to work.
- Uh, Lieutenant?Copy !req
615. - Your painting.
- Oh, thank you very much.Copy !req
616. Uh, Lieutenant? My lighter.Copy !req
617. Oh.Copy !req
618. - Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
619. Miss Henderson,
I'll make my calls now, please.Copy !req
620. Looking for me, Lieutenant?Copy !req
621. Oh. Yeah, I thought I'd kind of catch you
out in the parking lot.Copy !req
622. Expect you'd find me there kicking my tires
in frustration, I suppose?Copy !req
623. Well, I thought there'd be
the normal amount of disappointment.Copy !req
624. You are so transparent, Columbo.Copy !req
625. You had this thing all figured out
right from the start, haven't you?Copy !req
626. Dale Kingston hired someone
to fake the theft and kill his uncle.Copy !req
627. Maybe even some
poor little art student, perhaps.Copy !req
628. Mr. Kingston, I never said that.Copy !req
629. And even though I had
an airtight alibi by total accident,Copy !req
630. at the time of my uncle's murder,
that still didn't stop you, did it?Copy !req
631. Mr. Kingston, really, I...Copy !req
632. Well, at this point,Copy !req
633. I'm sure that even a compulsively
suspicious bureaucrat like you...Copy !req
634. must have his doubts about my guilt.Copy !req
635. Because you heard it up there,
Mr. Columbo.Copy !req
636. You heard it in plain English.
I do not inherit.Copy !req
637. - Edna does.
- That's very true, Mr. Kingston.Copy !req
638. - That's very true, except...
- Except what?Copy !req
639. Well, maybe you didn't know that
your uncle changed his will.Copy !req
640. Oh, I was hoping you'd say that,Copy !req
641. because, you see,
I've known for more than 10 days...Copy !req
642. that I couldn't possibly inherit
any part of that collection.Copy !req
643. But since you won't believe me,
maybe you'll believe my uncle.Copy !req
644. Go on. I'm sure
somebody in your department...Copy !req
645. is capable of verifying
that signature.Copy !req
646. Go on, read it.Copy !req
647. He sent me that letter 10 days ago
telling me about the new will.Copy !req
648. Look at the postmark.Copy !req
649. - So you did know?
- Of course I knew.Copy !req
650. Now, would you please do me a favor
and stop pestering me...Copy !req
651. and go on out and do what you
should've done in the first place, huh?Copy !req
652. Find the real killer!Copy !req
653. - Lieutenant, I'm not a busybody.
- I never said that.Copy !req
654. Yeah, well,Copy !req
655. some landlords like to pry into the lives
of their tenants, but not me.Copy !req
656. My policy is live and let live.Copy !req
657. Come on. What's bothering Walter?
He won't eat?Copy !req
658. Well, maybe he's not hungry.Copy !req
659. Listen, it's not that you're a busybody.
You live here and you see things.Copy !req
660. I mean, how can you live here
and not see things?Copy !req
661. Such as?Copy !req
662. Well, who goes out with who
and who's doing what. All those things.Copy !req
663. This girl, Tracy O'Connor,
who did she go out with?Copy !req
664. Come on. Tell me.
She dated, didn't she?Copy !req
665. Oh, of course she dated.Copy !req
666. Oh, you know, that was
a terrible shame about that accident.Copy !req
667. - That was a very talented girl.
- Very.Copy !req
668. Well, you oughta know. You took one of
her paintings the last time you were here.Copy !req
669. - She was a very gifted girl.
- You're darn right.Copy !req
670. - And it was a shame about the accident.
- Right.Copy !req
671. You know why I hated
to give up the painting?Copy !req
672. Well, why did you give it up?Copy !req
673. - I had to.
- What for?Copy !req
674. - Well, that was evidence.
- Evidence for what?Copy !req
675. Listen, I don't wanna get into that.
That's too complicated. Walter, come here.Copy !req
676. Come here, boy.
Don't-Don't-Don't-Don't do that!Copy !req
677. Walter doesn't like strangers.
He'll bite.Copy !req
678. - Will he? Oh.
- It was an accident, wasn't it?Copy !req
679. Listen, are you gonna tell me
about the men in her life or not?Copy !req
680. All right, the men. Now, remember,Copy !req
681. I wasn't particularly trying
to find out about her,Copy !req
682. but I do remember one or two.Copy !req
683. There was an actor fella.
There were a couple of those beach types.Copy !req
684. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- And there was a kid that played...Copy !req
685. - You want me to tell you the truth?
- Yeah.Copy !req
686. - I'm interested in one guy in particular.
- Who?Copy !req
687. Forty years old, well dressed,
distinguished.Copy !req
688. Wait a minute. Now, wait a minute.Copy !req
689. Come to think of it, there was one
older gentleman she was seeing.Copy !req
690. Really? Can you describe him?Copy !req
691. Would a picture help?Copy !req
692. A picture? Are ya kidding?
You have a picture of this fella?Copy !req
693. Yeah, it's around here some place
if I haven't thrown it away.Copy !req
694. It's probably in my album.Copy !req
695. Where did you get a photograph of him?Copy !req
696. Well, I was taking some snapshots
of my nephew out at the pool.Copy !req
697. And Tracy and her friend were out there,
so I took one of them too.Copy !req
698. - I'm sure it's in one of these.
- You're a lifesaver.Copy !req
699. Well, let's see.Copy !req
700. Oh! Here was one. That's when my cousins
were out here from Milwaukee.Copy !req
701. We stopped at one of those roadside
stands, you know, for date malts.Copy !req
702. Oh, I got so sick, but they're awful good.
Have you ever had one?Copy !req
703. Think you'd like 'em.Copy !req
704. Oh, there's Cindy Lou.
That's my cousin's kid.Copy !req
705. She's named for me. Look at her.
That's at Grauman's Chinese.Copy !req
706. She's trying to fit her feet into the...
you know, the things in the concrete.Copy !req
707. That's awful cute.
I made her that dress.Copy !req
708. - Doesn't that look nice?
- Um...Copy !req
709. - Can you see...
- Well, let's see, now.Copy !req
710. Oh! Here's a whole bunch of us that went
out to the family plot and had a picnic.Copy !req
711. We did some weeding and planting.
We had the best time.Copy !req
712. We had more laughs... Look, isn't
that cute? That's my Uncle Henry there.Copy !req
713. - Oh.
- Now, wait a minute. We must...Copy !req
714. That's a nice one too. Look at that.
That was taken at the zoo.Copy !req
715. - Isn't that a good one of a lion?
- Wonderful. Do you have any idea...Copy !req
716. Now, wait a minute.Copy !req
717. Oh-oh, here it is. Here you go.
There. Well, there he is.Copy !req
718. That's the one. Any help?Copy !req
719. No kidding?Copy !req
720. - That's not him.
- Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
721. You guys still guarding this place?Copy !req
722. Just me. I keep the tourists away.Copy !req
723. Say, uh, you know anything
about aphids?Copy !req
724. - Aphids?
- Yeah, they're destroying my roses.Copy !req
725. My wife doesn't want me
to use any pesticides.Copy !req
726. Hard spray from your garden hose
around 4:00 or 5:00 p.m.Copy !req
727. Uh, the sun's still hot enough
to dry,Copy !req
728. and it won't burn your flowers.Copy !req
729. Just water, huh?Copy !req
730. - Thanks. I'll try it.
- Okay.Copy !req
731. Hey! Come here!Copy !req
732. Look at this!Copy !req
733. Your ex-husband lived
right up there, didn't he?Copy !req
734. Uh, y-yes, right up there on the hill,Copy !req
735. brooding down on me like Zeus.Copy !req
736. When we were married,
I always used to like this house.Copy !req
737. As soon as we got divorced,
I moved in.Copy !req
738. But for years, Rudy and I couldn't
have been farther away from each other...Copy !req
739. if I'd bought a house on the Moon.Copy !req
740. - Are you sure you wouldn't like a drink?
- Oh, no.Copy !req
741. Thank you very much.
Are they real?Copy !req
742. - Yes.
- May I?Copy !req
743. - Oh, of course. Help yourself.
- Thank you.Copy !req
744. So, uh, what changed all that?Copy !req
745. I mean, how did you and Rudy
get to seeing one another again?Copy !req
746. Well, we just bumped into each other
a couple of months ago.Copy !req
747. And, well, we were older...Copy !req
748. and he wasn't quite so stuffy anymore.Copy !req
749. And maybe I don't throw things...Copy !req
750. like parties and handsome Italians
quite so much.Copy !req
751. Ma'am, I know you're in a hurry.
You wanna go shopping.Copy !req
752. But I wondered first
if we could talk about...Copy !req
753. But you want to know
about that will thing.Copy !req
754. Of course. I-I don't blame you.Copy !req
755. Uh, but don't misunderstand.Copy !req
756. Rudy and I weren't starting...Copy !req
757. to sing September songs
or anything like that.Copy !req
758. But...Copy !req
759. Well, you see, years ago...Copy !req
760. I used to think I was artistic,Copy !req
761. and I literally dragged him
into his first museum.Copy !req
762. And that's how
his whole collection all began.Copy !req
763. Because naturally, Rudy started
sensing a good investment area.Copy !req
764. And some of the paintings
I liked weren't too bad.Copy !req
765. But it was my understanding that...Copy !req
766. it was his nephew
who picked out all his paintings.Copy !req
767. Oh, yes, later on.Copy !req
768. But Dale was just in college then.Copy !req
769. Uh, that was just about the time when...Copy !req
770. when I started misbehaving.Copy !req
771. And then, of course, after our divorce,Copy !req
772. the collection became an obsession
with Rudy...Copy !req
773. and a whole career for Dale.Copy !req
774. So since you were in at the beginning,Copy !req
775. Mr. Matthews last month decided
to leave the whole collection to you?Copy !req
776. But he didn't want me to keep them.Copy !req
777. - You don't think that, do you?
- Well...Copy !req
778. Oh, dear.
I guess nobody's going to understand.Copy !req
779. No. You see,Copy !req
780. poor Rudy was finally tired of it,
that's all...Copy !req
781. all the greedy buying
and bidding and hoarding.Copy !req
782. He finally...
He finally agreed with me...Copy !req
783. that the people should own those lovely
things instead of just collectors.Copy !req
784. He decided to give them all away...Copy !req
785. to schools, museums.Copy !req
786. Oh! But, oh, dear,Copy !req
787. it takes so much time to work that out...Copy !req
788. to decide which places get which.Copy !req
789. And in the meantime, he didn't want Dale
Kingston to get his hands on it. Is that it?Copy !req
790. I don't like to say that.Copy !req
791. I was just so happy that
Rudy was finally turning human.Copy !req
792. Who on Earth...Copy !req
793. Hello, Aunt Edna. May I come in?
How are you, dear?Copy !req
794. I didn't think you'd even remember
where I lived.Copy !req
795. Of course I do.
Got a message from a It. Col...Copy !req
796. Oh, there you are.
What's this all about?Copy !req
797. - Is it about the gun?
- What?Copy !req
798. Wait a minute.
What gun? What is all this?Copy !req
799. Well, I thought you'd be interested.
About a half hour ago,Copy !req
800. a gardener up on that hill there,Copy !req
801. he found a.38 revolver,Copy !req
802. and it's the same kind as the one
that was missing from your uncle's desk.Copy !req
803. Uh, may I use your phone?Copy !req
804. Oh, yes, of course.Copy !req
805. Isn't that silly?
Right up above my house.Copy !req
806. I-I've walked on that hill myself.Copy !req
807. Ballistics.Copy !req
808. Is this Charlie?
It. Columbo.Copy !req
809. Charlie, I sent that stuff over there
over a half hour ago...Copy !req
810. Oh. Thank you.Copy !req
811. It's the murder gun, all right.Copy !req
812. Oh, there's nothing to be upset about.Copy !req
813. But I was just telling Dale,Copy !req
814. I-I go up there myself
when I want a breath of air.Copy !req
815. I even walked over to see Rudy
just the night before he was killed.Copy !req
816. Aunt Edna, I don't think
you oughta say another word.Copy !req
817. - The lieutenant may get the wrong idea.
- What?Copy !req
818. Oh, but-but surely
no one would think that I...Copy !req
819. Threw that gun there?Copy !req
820. Oh, no, Mrs. Matthews.
No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
821. No, you see,
I finally figured out what happened.Copy !req
822. Whoever was in that house that night, they
ran out the back. They just kept on going.Copy !req
823. Well, naturally, they were anxious
to get rid of your ex-husband's gun.Copy !req
824. It could've been anybody.Copy !req
825. - It could?
- Yes. Absolutely, it could.Copy !req
826. You have nothing to worry about.
Now, did you wanna go shopping?Copy !req
827. Well, I was planning to meet
some friends at the fashion center,Copy !req
828. but I can do that some other time.Copy !req
829. No, I want you to go right ahead,Copy !req
830. and I want you
to forget about all this.Copy !req
831. Just do what my wife does,
'cause when she hits a department store,Copy !req
832. she can forget anything, even the fact that
I'm sittin' outside waiting.Copy !req
833. - Have a good time, Edna.
- Bye.Copy !req
834. What are you trying to do to her?Copy !req
835. I'm sorry, I don't follow.Copy !req
836. Well, you know perfectly well...Copy !req
837. that it was a woman that ran out
of that place that night.Copy !req
838. - You said so yourself.
- Yeah, sure, but not her.Copy !req
839. Oh, I hope
you really mean that, Lieutenant...Copy !req
840. that you're not just playing
some kind of a game with her.Copy !req
841. - A game?
- Yes. You know what I mean.Copy !req
842. Lulling her into a sense of false security.
Edna's a very vulnerable woman.Copy !req
843. Mr. Kingston, you've got me all wrong,
really. I wouldn't think of a thing like that.Copy !req
844. - That lady wouldn't hurt a fly.
- Lieutenant?Copy !req
845. Can you come around here for a minute?Copy !req
846. You told me not to bother you
until she'd gone.Copy !req
847. - What is it?
- Well, we found something else.Copy !req
848. She's got some trash cans back here.Copy !req
849. "Rudy Matthews, 417 Pine View."Copy !req
850. Looks like that piece of wrapping paper...Copy !req
851. that was torn from the rest of it
in his house. Remember?Copy !req
852. We figured the thief used it.Copy !req
853. All right, you'd better get that down...Copy !req
854. for fingerprinting and comparison
with the other paper.Copy !req
855. Is there anything else?Copy !req
856. No, we've covered
every inch of the grounds.Copy !req
857. Be careful with that.Copy !req
858. - Now what?
- I don't know.Copy !req
859. I know what you're thinking, Lieutenant.Copy !req
860. The gun,
and now this new evidence.Copy !req
861. - Looks pretty bad for her.
- Yes, it does. Yes.Copy !req
862. I'm still convinced that Edna
had absolutely nothing to do with this.Copy !req
863. You know, I think I agree with ya.Copy !req
864. Look at it this way.
If she's really guilty,Copy !req
865. she's not gonna put that paper
in a garbage can, is she?Copy !req
866. I mean, she's probably gonna
burn it in the fireplace or somethin'.Copy !req
867. Yes, exactly.
That's the point.Copy !req
868. And you know something else, Mr. Kingston?
You're absolutely right about her.Copy !req
869. She's a...
What did you call it before?Copy !req
870. - Vulnerable.
- Vulnerable, yes. She's a vulnerable woman.Copy !req
871. And I'm afraid that if I press
her too hard, she'll fall apart.Copy !req
872. Oh, yes.Copy !req
873. And I sure don't wanna make
the same mistake that I made with you.Copy !req
874. No, sir.
What I'm gonna do is this.Copy !req
875. I'm gonna sit on everything
until those stolen paintings show up.Copy !req
876. I see.Copy !req
877. I mean, that's the best way
to handle it, don't you think?Copy !req
878. Yes, yes, of course.Copy !req
879. I mean, I don't wanna go around
pointing my finger at anyone...Copy !req
880. until I have an airtight case.Copy !req
881. - Right?
- Right.Copy !req
882. Uh, Lieutenant,Copy !req
883. your man said that you'd, uh...Copy !req
884. you'd covered every...
every inch of the place here.Copy !req
885. Did that include the inside of the house?Copy !req
886. Well, she gave us permission,
but I don't wanna bother.Copy !req
887. Well, don't you think you should?
I mean, for her protection.Copy !req
888. And when you fail to find the paintings, you
can cross her name off the list entirely.Copy !req
889. Well, it hardly seems worth the trouble.Copy !req
890. Neither of us thinks she's guilty.
Why bother?Copy !req
891. Well, for her sake so she can be certain.
Search the house, Lieutenant.Copy !req
892. No, really,
I think it's a waste of time.Copy !req
893. But if anything new comes up,
I'll let you know.Copy !req
894. Edna? She's utterly harmless.Copy !req
895. Exactly.
That's why we've got to help her.Copy !req
896. But is there really
any danger of her arrest?Copy !req
897. You told me yourself
the lieutenant doesn't think she's guilty.Copy !req
898. That's today, Frank.
Who knows what he'll think tomorrow?Copy !req
899. In case you haven't noticed,
he is a very haphazard individual.Copy !req
900. Hmm. And if he doesn't
break the case soon?Copy !req
901. Exactly.
He starts looking for a scapegoat...Copy !req
902. because the pressure's
building up on him,Copy !req
903. and Edna's the most
obvious candidate.Copy !req
904. Well, what should we do?Copy !req
905. Protect her.Copy !req
906. I'm sure Rudy would've wanted
both of us to look out for her interests.Copy !req
907. She trusts you, Frank.Copy !req
908. Get her in here. Talk to her like a
Dutch uncle. Fill her in on the situation.Copy !req
909. You're sure we should
allow her house to be searched?Copy !req
910. Absolutely. In fact, I think you ought
to recommend that we insist on it.Copy !req
911. And that way, we get it on the record that
nothing has been found to incriminate her.Copy !req
912. All right. Miss Henderson,
get me Mrs. Matthews.Copy !req
913. Oh, uh, she's shopping
at the fashion center in Beverly Hills.Copy !req
914. You could bring her in here right now
and clarify this whole thing.Copy !req
915. Miss Henderson, have her paged
at the fashion center.Copy !req
916. We'll clear it up today.Copy !req
917. Well, there may be
one small hitch to that.Copy !req
918. Unfortunately, It. Columbo
refuses to search the house.Copy !req
919. - He claims it to be a waste of time.
- Oh?Copy !req
920. Which merely perpetuates
Edna's anxiety.Copy !req
921. I really wish there was something
we could do about that man, Frank.Copy !req
922. Well, perhaps there's, um,
some way around him.Copy !req
923. You really think so?Copy !req
924. I have a few friends at city hall.
Let me look into it.Copy !req
925. Fine. Thank you.Copy !req
926. I'll just run one little errand,
and I'll be right back.Copy !req
927. Fine. Fine.
Uh, Miss Henderson,Copy !req
928. after I talk to Mrs. Matthews,
I want the police department.Copy !req
929. Dale?Copy !req
930. Edna does have an excellent motive.Copy !req
931. You, uh... You don't think
there's any chance...Copy !req
932. Of course not.Copy !req
933. You oughta be ashamed of yourself, Frank.Copy !req
934. Yeah. Sorry.Copy !req
935. I just don't understand any of this.Copy !req
936. It's just a precautionary measure,
Aunt Edna, nothing more.Copy !req
937. But what do you want them
to search my house for?Copy !req
938. - What will they find?
- Absolutely nothing. That's just the point.Copy !req
939. Now, come on.Copy !req
940. - Frank.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
941. Where, uh...
Where do you want me to put these?Copy !req
942. Oh, uh, in there.Copy !req
943. Anywhere.
Oh, I need a drink.Copy !req
944. Of course you do, darling.
So do I. Let me fix it for you.Copy !req
945. Here are your keys.Copy !req
946. - Still scotch?
- Yes.Copy !req
947. - How about you, Frank? A drink?
- Yes, on the rocks, please.Copy !req
948. I'm sorry we have to put you
through this now. But believe me,Copy !req
949. it'll all be over soon, huh?Copy !req
950. Why would anyone think that
I'd want to kill Rudy?Copy !req
951. Nobody does.Copy !req
952. We just wanna make sure
that it stays that way, that's all.Copy !req
953. That's why Frank is having the police
come in and search the house.Copy !req
954. Believe me, it's all for the best.Copy !req
955. Dale, I don't even remember
what happened...Copy !req
956. the night Rudy was killed.Copy !req
957. I get so nervous,
I-I take sleeping pills sometimes.Copy !req
958. - That's one thing you should...
- Oh!Copy !req
959. Oh! Excuse me.Copy !req
960. Let me just dry off.
I'll be right back.Copy !req
961. Oh, isn't that a shame?Copy !req
962. Uh, Frank...Copy !req
963. Frank, must we go through this?Copy !req
964. Edna, you will be
so much better off...Copy !req
965. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
966. Nothing to be nervous about now.Copy !req
967. Go ahead.Copy !req
968. Miss Matthews?
Captain Wyler, police department.Copy !req
969. Yes. Please, come in.Copy !req
970. Thank you.Copy !req
971. Sorry. You can't go in there.Copy !req
972. I'm a lieutenant, so, do you mind?Copy !req
973. It's okay, Ferguson. Let him in.Copy !req
974. - Hi, Captain.
- Columbo.Copy !req
975. - Uh... Oh, hi, Mr. Kingston.
- Hello, Lieutenant.Copy !req
976. Listen, I just heard about this.Copy !req
977. Word came down from above
to have the place searched.Copy !req
978. Is that so?Copy !req
979. Yeah. And I can't understand why.Copy !req
980. The fact is, I was kind of bypassed
when I came over here.Copy !req
981. Well, apparently you're
just not needed here then, Lieutenant.Copy !req
982. Why don't you just go home
and have your dinner?Copy !req
983. Oh, no, I'd better hang around,
because, you know,Copy !req
984. if I leave now,
it looks bad upstairs, you know.Copy !req
985. Oh, hello, Mrs. Matthews.
Mr. Simpson.Copy !req
986. Gee, I hope this is not
upsetting you too much.Copy !req
987. Well, I'm not very happy
about my house being torn apart.Copy !req
988. But they advised me to do it.Copy !req
989. - They?
- Who is "they"?Copy !req
990. Mr. Kingston and I
thought it was necessary, Lieutenant.Copy !req
991. Oh, I see. Oh.Copy !req
992. It's really very confusing.Copy !req
993. You said you didn't suspect me
of anything, didn't you?Copy !req
994. Yes, I did, ma'am, and I meant that.Copy !req
995. - And, actually, I was opposed to...
- Captain Wyler.Copy !req
996. Clear this table.Copy !req
997. Where'd you find those?Copy !req
998. Linen closet in the hallway.Copy !req
999. Edna, how could you?Copy !req
1000. Dale, believe me,Copy !req
1001. I have no idea how they got there!Copy !req
1002. - You'd better not say another word.
- But...Copy !req
1003. Edna, he's right.Copy !req
1004. Do you intend
to charge her formally, Captain?Copy !req
1005. It's up to It. Columbo.
It's his case.Copy !req
1006. What do you mean it's his case?
I thought it was...Copy !req
1007. We know what you thought,
Mr. Kingston.Copy !req
1008. Lieutenant?Copy !req
1009. Well, I think we can
get started with the fingerprinting.Copy !req
1010. Let's get the kit.Copy !req
1011. Careful, there.
Be very careful.Copy !req
1012. Gee, they're something, aren't they?Copy !req
1013. Pastels, you know.Copy !req
1014. May I ask
what this is all about, Lieutenant?Copy !req
1015. - Both of 'em.
- Lieutenant?Copy !req
1016. Oh, Mr. Kingston.Copy !req
1017. Uh, yes, just give us a moment, please.
Do you mind?Copy !req
1018. - We're getting a few.
- Good.Copy !req
1019. I'd like an answer, if you don't mind.Copy !req
1020. Uh, well, I'd have to start
with your uncle's will.Copy !req
1021. What about it?Copy !req
1022. Well, you see, he pulled a rug
out from under you...Copy !req
1023. when he left his collection
to Mrs. Matthews.Copy !req
1024. So you only had
one thing that you could do...Copy !req
1025. murder him and blame it on her.Copy !req
1026. I hope you realize the full import
of what you're saying, Lieutenant.Copy !req
1027. There are witnesses here.Copy !req
1028. You see, under the law, anyone who criminally
causes the death of someone else...Copy !req
1029. can't inherit from that person.Copy !req
1030. - Is that right, Mr. Simpson?
- That's correct.Copy !req
1031. So if Mrs. Matthews is convicted,
you're next in line.Copy !req
1032. Everything goes to you.
That's why you planted the gun,Copy !req
1033. and that's why
you planted the wrapping paper,Copy !req
1034. and that's why
you planted these paintings.Copy !req
1035. Dale! I can't believe it!Copy !req
1036. But you'd like to, wouldn't you?
Get you right off the hook.Copy !req
1037. All right, Lieutenant.Copy !req
1038. You claimed that I planted these paintings?
Suppose you prove it.Copy !req
1039. - Can we?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1040. Yeah... with fingerprints.Copy !req
1041. Sorry to disappoint you, Lieutenant.
Fingerprints won't help you at all.Copy !req
1042. My fingerprints are all over
those paintings.Copy !req
1043. My uncle and I unwrapped them
when they came back from the exhibit.Copy !req
1044. I told you, didn't I? I told you myself.
They're covered with my prints.Copy !req
1045. No, we're not looking for your prints.Copy !req
1046. What?Copy !req
1047. Do you remember the time
that I was in your apartment,Copy !req
1048. and you came in with some paintings?Copy !req
1049. And you said that they were watercolors,
and you wanted to evaluate 'em.Copy !req
1050. And remember I wanted to see 'em, and you
wouldn't let me? And I even touched 'em.Copy !req
1051. You touched...Copy !req
1052. Yes, my fingerprints
are on those paintings.Copy !req
1053. Now, if Mrs. Matthews is guilty,Copy !req
1054. how could my fingerprints
get on paintings that she stole?Copy !req
1055. Uh, this is entrapment.Copy !req
1056. It's a setup, that's all.Copy !req
1057. You-You-You-You touched those paintings
just now while I wasn't looking.Copy !req
1058. You saw him do it, didn't you?
You put your prints on those paintings...Copy !req
1059. while you were bent over watching them
while they were working on it!Copy !req
1060. He touched them!
You touched... You...Copy !req