Columbo 7x2

1. Good afternoon, this is Paul Gerard,

2. and once again, the world is my kitchen,

3. a world of fine dining in the restaurant and in your home

4. In Japan, it is said, meals are prepared for the eye,

5. as well as the palate

6. This is not true, however, of an eating ritual

7. known as Odori, the dance of the flesh

8. In a country where most people like their seafood fresh and raw,

9. there are those who prefer it lively

10. The shrimp is still wriggling as it is quickly dipped into the sauce

11. and eaten with gusto

12. You can never say he allows himself to be blinded by good taste

13. Only by money

14. Still, he's done all right for us

15. Not me, not anymore

16. In the case of fugu, the Japanese blowfish,

17. this is quite literally true

18. The tiger fugu, considered to be the most delicious variety,

19. is also the most deadly,

20. a remarkably potent poison

21. unless the highly toxic liver and other organs

22. are removed with great skill

23. I'm getting out

24. Ah, when?

25. Tonight Tonight?

26. He's finished

27. or a tiny residue of the poison

28. A taste of eternity

29. Adorable

30. (ALL LAUGHING) Paul, we need a couple with just the package, now

31. Life would be unbearable without my daily portion of Bon Snax

32. Good

33. Yes, yes, my anchovies would weep

34. and my paté would be desolate

35. and my Camembert inconsolable

36. Am I breaking your heart, Charlie?

37. Keep it up, you're doing great

38. How many more, fellas? Oh, just one more, please

39. Always just one more

40. If you gave a photographer 20 lashes,

41. he'd still ask for just one more

42. Terrific Enough

43. Bonjour, and Bon Snax Thanks, Paul

44. This way, gentlemen

45. Eve, we'll have the proofs and we'll get them back to you in a couple a days

46. The check would be even nicer

47. My notes for the Restaurant Writers' dinner?

48. Notes

49. Did you call the airport?

50. Mr Ozu's flight will be on time

51. You are flawless A gem

52. What kind of gem?

53. A sapphire

54. Too cool I'd rather be an emerald

55. Consider it done

56. Paul, can I ask you a question?

57. Certainly

58. Are we having an affair?

59. I would say a prelude to an affair

60. That's terrific, Paul

61. Why do I have to do that stuff at the bank?

62. Because you must I hate it

63. Banking is part of your job

64. It's underhanded Are you an accountant, Eve?

65. No, I'm not

66. And I'm not Irene DeMilo, either

67. Why do I have to pretend to be Irene DeMilo?

68. Because we're having an affair

69. I thought it was just a prelude

70. The prelude is almost concluded

71. The affair is about to begin

72. Vittorio

73. You flatter my poor restaurant, Mr Gerard

74. Come on We both know your restaurant is superb

75. Let's dine together and we'll be friends again

76. We'll dine

77. You invited yourself and so we will dine

78. Albert, my favorite chef Italiano

79. Mr Gerard What have you been concocting for us here, hmm?

80. My antipasto

81. Rosemary, shallot,

82. a touch of juniper Very good, very good

83. Anything else, Vittorio?

84. No, that's it, Alberto You've done very well

85. So So

86. It seems you do not take seriously

87. what I told you on the phone

88. I do not require your praise anymore

89. Not your radio, your television,

90. no more newspapers, no magazines

91. As you please It's your restaurant

92. I'm finished with our little arrangement

93. Not one penny more Capisce?

94. This is very good

95. So it's no more 250% for you,

96. Mr Paul Gerard

97. Mr Famous Paul Gerard

98. I'll tell the world what you are

99. Haven't you forgotten something? Proof? I have proof

100. No, you forgot the wine

101. May I suggest a cabernet?

102. May I suggest a Margaux, maestro?

103. Fine, fine

104. When I'm finished with you,

105. you'll starve like a beggar in the streets

106. Margaux

107. What a pity it has to end like this

108. What'll you write?

109. Vittorio's is a rotten restaurant?

110. What a pity Well,

111. ciao,

112. old friend

113. Now, wait, wait Tonight I gave you a lesson

114. Paul Gerard? Yes

115. I was called I'm Sergeant Burke

116. You wanna wait here a minute, please?

117. The police asked me to get in touch with Paul Gerard He's here now

118. Mr Gerard?

119. Mr Paul Gerard? Yes

120. Ah, forgive me, sir, for eating this way,

121. but I didn't have a chance to go home

122. and Chef Albert, he was good enough to prepare me a bowl of his cioppino

123. It's terrific

124. He uses a freshly grated lemon peel to give it that extra zing

125. Well, I don't have to tell you that, sir

126. Mr Gerard, this is a real pleasure

127. I never miss one of your columns

128. My name is Lieutenant Columbo, Homicide

129. Lieutenant, I came immediately

130. as soon as the police called

131. I can't believe, Vittorio dead

132. Poison?

133. Well, that's the medical examiner's opinion

134. Please, sit down, sir

135. Thank you

136. My God, poison

137. I ate the same meal

138. Albert prepared it

139. Ah, yes, sir, that's what he told me

140. May I ask, sir, how you feel?

141. I don't know I'm not sure

142. I was at the airport, then home

143. No ill effects

144. And then you came directly here, sir?

145. Yes, I

146. You said Albert cooked that?

147. Delicious and it's all in the basil and the garlic

148. Oh, I see what you mean, sir

149. Albert, the poison

150. Oh, I doubt that very much, sir

151. When we brought him in to question him, he became very indignant

152. He grabbed a knife and fork, he started to eat everything in sight

153. He's in perfect health, sir

154. And the boy? Mario?

155. As I understand it, he didn't eat

156. I wonder why the mussels that you buy in the store

157. never turn out this way

158. Oh, I do a little cooking, sir, nothing fancy

159. Mrs Columbo,

160. she's a remarkable woman She has lots of interests

161. But cooking isn't one of them

162. She gives me plenty of encouragement

163. Feeling better, sir?

164. Yes, yes, thank you

165. Well, what I was going to ask you, sir,

166. didn't the

167. Did you say you went to the airport tonight?

168. Yes, to meet a friend

169. And then you came right here?

170. No, Lieutenant,

171. the call from the police didn't reach me until I returned home

172. And how long would you say it took you

173. to get from your home to here?

174. I came immediately

175. From the phone call to my arrival,

176. about eight minutes Is this important, Lieutenant?

177. Not at all, sir Just for my report

178. What I wanted to ask you,

179. did the victim show any signs of being in trouble?

180. No Certainly nothing like that

181. Are you sure, sir?

182. Nothing you might have forgotten?

183. Lord knows you'd be entitled if something slipped your mind

184. All this stress,

185. all this poison flying around

186. What makes you think Vittorio was in some sort of trouble?

187. Mainly because he was murdered, sir

188. The two, trouble and murder, they seem to go together

189. At least that's been my experience, sir

190. Lieutenant

191. Albert, can all this be true?

192. Mr Gerard,

193. Vittorio was a fine man

194. You're a food critic, a great critic

195. I'm a simple chef,

196. but I'm sure I speak for chefs everywhere

197. when I say I wish it was you dead in there

198. Oh, Albert

199. Lieutenant, the boy, Mario, you can speak to him now

200. I'm going home to finish getting drunk

201. Thank you, Albert

202. We'll be in touch, Albert

203. Poor man He's overwrought

204. Well, I guess we're all overwrought

205. May I help with Mario?

206. Certainly

207. You want to hear a coincidence, Mr Gerard?

208. I was listening to your program on my car radio

209. one day last week, and I go through this tunnel

210. and I missed the end of a terrific recipe on some kind of sauce

211. Do you remember the name of that?

212. Could it be béchamel?

213. No This is something I'm gonna spring on Mrs Columbo

214. Rémoulade? Hollandaise?

215. I'm gonna think of it in a minute

216. It's some kind of a French name

217. May I ask who called the police?

218. He did, sir Mario

219. But he doesn't speak a word of English

220. Well, he's a very bright boy, sir

221. As Sergeant Burke understands it, he called his mother in Genoa

222. and she called the police here long distance

223. Genoa

224. He's remarkable

225. As I understand it, sir,

226. you left without finishing your dinner

227. Yes, fortunately

228. And before the victim showed any effects from the poison

229. Well, yes

230. I'll just question the witness

231. Calm Calm

232. He says he loved his uncle I believe him

233. Why would he kill his uncle?

234. What else did he say?

235. He said his uncle was very angry Slamming drawers

236. Why would he be slamming drawers?

237. I mean, why would he even open drawers?

238. He put the tray there

239. Nothing has been put away

240. Why would he open drawers?

241. Have to think about that

242. Look at those beautiful pots

243. The boy said something about an argument and a lot of shouting

244. What was that about, sir? It was a trivial matter

245. Yes, sir Most arguments seem to start that way

246. Every year the restaurant writers have an awards dinner

247. For the past three years we've held it here, at Vittorio's

248. This year the committee decided to have the dinner at Chez Duvall

249. Vittorio saw it as a slight, an insult

250. I'm on the committee and he accused me

251. of suggesting the change, of influencing their choice

252. Did you do that, sir?

253. Yes, sir

254. In all honesty, I must confess that I did

255. Mr Gerard, I want to thank you for your help

256. Oh, I'm pleased to do what I can

257. Oh, there's just one other thing

258. The victim's appointment book

259. He had you down for dinner at 8:00

260. Yes

261. And the entry before that

262. at 4:00

263. was for a meeting with an M Choy and an M Duvall

264. Do those names mean anything to you, sir?

265. M Choy would be Mary Choy, She owns the House of Choy

266. And M Duvall? Who would that be?

267. Max Duvall, the owner of Chez Duvall

268. Vittorio knew them both

269. But I don't see how this meeting could be of any importance

270. Well, it probably isn't, sir, but Vittorio thought it was

271. He has the entry heavily outlined

272. with four exclamation points after it

273. That's odd Well, what's even odder

274. is he did the same thing with your name

275. And he drew a circle and an arrow

276. That's bizarre

277. Linking your name to theirs

278. That's pretty bizarre

279. Do you know, sir, any reason

280. that he might have marked his book that way?

281. No None

282. I must say it's very strange

283. Lieutenant, it's very late

284. It's been a harrowing day Good night

285. Sorry, Mr Gerard, but I can't let you get away with it

286. What?

287. Your recipe You didn't think I'd remember, did you?

288. It's onion sauce

289. Then it was Soubise Sauce Soubise

290. It's a simple recipe I'll get it for you

291. I'd certainly appreciate that, sir

292. Good night, sir

293. Good night

294. Nobody lives forever, but poison?

295. Who can figure poison? Who could imagine a thing like that?

296. Vittorio Rossi

297. We were apprentices together Hotel school, Switzerland, just boys

298. As I understand it, sir, you had a meeting with him yesterday,

299. and I was wondering

300. Is that what I think it is?

301. Is that galantine of duck?

302. Yeah, this is my galantine

303. You know, I've read about these in a cookbook,

304. but I have never actually seen one

305. And those black buttons, are they real truffles?

306. Why, of course

307. And the green mosaics here, pistachios

308. And there's another kind of meat there, inside

309. Mmmhmm Ham

310. It's a real work of art, sir

311. What I wanted to ask you,

312. you had a meeting with Mr Rossi at 4:00 yesterday

313. Can you tell me what that was about?

314. Well, it was social Cocktails, shop talk, gossip among old friends

315. Since you were one of the last few people to see him alive,

316. can you

317. Do you suppose

318. Could I try to do that?

319. This? Oeufs en Gelée?

320. Eggs in aspic

321. I'd really like to try to get the feel

322. The way you garnish a dish like this

323. Yes, go right ahead

324. Thank you very much

325. What I wanted to ask you, sir,

326. it has to do with the victim's frame of mind

327. Lieutenant Columbo, I am Louis, the chef

328. Well, it's a very great pleasure, sir

329. Vittorio was my friend I wish you luck

330. And I've prepared a little something for you

331. Stuffed mushrooms

332. Champignons farcis au crabe

333. Are those made with a béchamel sauce?

334. Exactly

335. Well, I'm going to enjoy this very much

336. Merci, monsieur Thank you, sir

337. We all loved Vittorio

338. We'll miss him, Lieutenant

339. Tell me something

340. In your last meeting with Vittorio,

341. did he express any fears?

342. Did he mention anything about a death threat?

343. No, not a thing In fact,

344. I found him preoccupied, withdrawn

345. He was strangely silent

346. A lot on his mind?

347. It was all bottled up inside, ready to explode

348. No, there was nothing to suggest that he was a potential victim

349. On the contrary, he seemed like a man

350. about ready to commit murder himself

351. And you got all that through his silence?

352. You're a very perceptive man, Mr Duvall

353. Would you care for some chartreuse, Mr Gerard? Thank you Light lunch today

354. Well, this is quite a coincidence

355. I had no idea you were here

356. Would you care to join me?

357. Well, I'm really not hungry, sir

358. I just polished off three mushrooms stuffed with crabmeat

359. But I'll join you anyway

360. If you're anything like me, you're not too crazy about eating alone

361. I'm beginning to regard you as an old acquaintance, Lieutenant

362. Well, thank you very much, sir

363. I'm beginning to know you pretty well, too

364. Would you care for some champagne?

365. No, thank you

366. I know you're going to be very glad to hear this, sir

367. I got the poison report back from the lab

368. They still don't know what kind of poison it was

369. that killed your friend Vittorio,

370. but they found out it wasn't in the food

371. It was in the wine

372. The wine?

373. That's extraordinary

374. Why should I be glad to hear that the poison was in the wine?

375. Well, don't you see, sir?

376. That immediately strikes you right off my list of suspects

377. According to the boy, Vittorio didn't even open the bottle

378. until after you left

379. I wasn't aware that I was on your list of suspects, Lieutenant

380. I must say I find all this very puzzling

381. It is puzzling, isn't it, sir?

382. I mean, here's this boy, Mario,

383. sent to the wine cellar for a bottle of Margaux

384. and he picks it at random

385. and it's laced with poison

386. How do you explain a thing like that?

387. Lieutenant Columbo, I was a friend of Vittorio's

388. With my compliments

389. Caviar? Smoked Salmon?

390. And fois gras

391. Well, thank you very much

392. This is a sensational layout

393. Good luck, sir

394. Gee, this reminds me

395. Mrs Columbo said to pick up something for dinner

396. Now, I know this isn't my area of expertise,

397. but I have a theory

398. Now, please, don't laugh

399. I wouldn't consider it, sir

400. It's just that it could have been an accident

401. An accident?

402. The poison got into the bottle by accident?

403. It could have happened at the chateau, where the wine was bottled

404. Some insecticide, perhaps, it spilled, wasn't noticed

405. The wine was corked and shipped

406. Well, that's a very interesting notion, sir

407. But the World Health Organization has no record

408. of any outbreak of poisoning in the French vineyards

409. I see

410. Does this feel ripe, sir?

411. I don't think it's squishy enough

412. It's ripe

413. Sorry about your theory, sir

414. But there is another possibility

415. That Vittorio might have been planning to murder somebody himself

416. And he did have that dinner date with you, sir

417. You mean he planned to murder me?

418. Well, let's examine it

419. Suppose it was Vittorio who put the poison in the wine bottle

420. thinking that you would drink it

421. And when you walked away,

422. he made the fatal mistake of drinking it himself

423. Yes

424. I can see how that could be possible

425. You can, sir?

426. Well, maybe you can explain it to me

427. I mean, how could a man make a mistake like that?

428. I don't even understand why Vittorio would want to kill you

429. Can you think of a reason?

430. Of course not You're perfectly right

431. The whole idea is ridiculous

432. Well, it was my idea, but I'll think of better ones

433. How did the poison get into the wine?

434. That's the question

435. But don't worry about it, sir

436. I'm gonna write that out on a card

437. and I'm gonna paste it up on my shaving mirror

438. and that's all I'm gonna think about

439. Eve

440. I've been a fool

441. Interesting How long have you been a fool?

442. Since I forced you into that damn business

443. with the Irene DeMilo account

444. It wasn't fair

445. Did you say affair?

446. Eve, go to the bank one last time

447. Oh, no

448. Close out the account and go home and pack your things

449. I'm moving in? You will need a passport

450. A passport? Your next assignment

451. Go to Paris

452. Why? A new book

453. It's time to revisit the great restaurants of Europe

454. I'm tied up, so you eat the food of the gods

455. I'll meet you in one month

456. And then we'll travel the Mediterranean, Spain

457. Oh, and the Greek islands? Yes

458. How selfish I am

459. You have so much to do and I keep you in my arms

460. It's all right To sum up, first the bank,

461. an end to the DeMilo account,

462. then France, Italy, Spain

463. And Monte Carlo

464. You will never forget Monte Carlo

465. You have the bank book?

466. Yes, it's in my bag Good Hurry back

467. I'll have your itinerary You leave tomorrow

468. Oh, Paul, I need at least three days

469. Three days Wait, what about the dinner?

470. Europe is calling Go, go, go

471. Mario, come ahead

472. Gerard is still sitting here

473. Vittorio, he's over here, he's putting his plate on the sink

474. Yelling, carrying on

475. Gerard gets up and leaves

476. The bottle is still corked

477. Mario goes after him

478. Mario

479. Here's where Vittorio had to open the bottle

480. Drinks

481. Mario comes back Mario!

482. This is depressing This is very depressing

483. Vittorio picks up the tray, takes it to the sink

484. Slams a couple of drawers

485. He turns around

486. "What's this? " he says

487. All right, enough of that

488. What was he doing slamming drawers?

489. Like he broke the drawer?

490. Cancelled checks

491. drawn from Vittorio's bank

492. $5000, $8000,

493. $4000, $6000

494. Holy Toledo Must be $100,000 worth

495. Restaurant Developers Association

496. They're all made out to the Restaurant Developers Association

497. Here's their stamp on the back

498. What's the Restaurant Developers Association?

499. Never heard of it

500. Nevertheless,

501. you'll observe I'm taking these into police possession

502. They gonna tell you how the poison got into the wine?

503. All right, now, we do it all over again

504. Not with me This is too depressing

505. Wait a minute, Albert

506. How does this thing work?

507. I know there's some kind of cartridge

508. This

509. Another clue?

510. If there's poison in that cartridge,

511. then that's a clue

512. I want to take this down to the police lab

513. We'll see if the boys there find any poison

514. Good

515. You're a good detective

516. Leave no stone unturned

517. You want me to fix you anything else to eat before I go?

518. No, thank you very much, Albert

519. The poached scallops will hold me just fine

520. See you later, kid

521. That's the kind of man Vittorio was,

522. tough when it was good to be tough,

523. generous when it was right to be generous

524. Now let me tell you something I don't think you know yet,

525. how generous he was to me and to his nephew, Mario

526. In his will, Vittorio left us his restaurant

527. To both of us With one condition,

528. that I train Mario the way Vittorio would have trained him

529. To me that means just one thing

530. That I train Mario to be a great man like his uncle

531. A great chef and a great manager

532. Tough and generous

533. Okay, Vittorio, I make you this promise

534. Now, friends, before you go

535. I know you all want to get back You're all busy people

536. But I want you to know that the man in charge

537. of investigating Vittorio's murder is here today

538. The man who is going to catch that murderer,

539. Detective Lieutenant Columbo

540. Lieutenant, we're behind you, all of us

541. And I want you to know this

542. As long as you're on this case,

543. you'll never go hungry

544. Arrivederci, Vittorio Arrivederci

545. Lieutenant, the opener,

546. the cartridge, what did the lab say?

547. Well, it was just a cartridge

548. We still haven't figured out the poison

549. Sir, if it'll make you rest any easier,

550. I think those checks are gonna be a very big help

551. That dim sum reminds me of the kind I used to have at home

552. At home, Lieutenant?

553. Right around the corner from Chinatown was an Italian neighborhood

554. When I was a kid I bet I had more egg rolls than I had cannelloni

555. Do you recognize this, ma'am?

556. It's a cancelled check

557. I noticed that you tore it up at Mr Rossi's grave

558. But that's all right, ma'am

559. I've got a lot more

560. $100,000 worth

561. I only passed that around to see who would react to it

562. Only two people did

563. You and Mr Duvall

564. How very clever of you, Lieutenant

565. I've been in touch with the Department of Corporations, ma'am

566. I know that Mr Rossi was the treasurer

567. of the Restaurant Developers Association

568. I know that Mr Duvall was the vicepresident

569. And I am the president

570. Exactly, ma'am

571. Why was the Association formed?

572. To help develop certain promising restaurants

573. into commercial successes

574. And it's been a smashing failure

575. Do you know why Mr Rossi made out all those checks?

576. I haven't got the vaguest idea

577. We never received the funds

578. and our commercial account consists of $175

579. Well, that's quite a spread, ma'am

580. between $175 and $100,000

581. What happened to the rest of the money?

582. You don't think poor old Vittorio was up to something nasty?

583. Ma'am?

584. I'd hate to believe he committed suicide

585. Oh, no, ma'am, that's the furthest thing from my mind

586. Never even thought of that

587. I want to thank you very much for this tea lunch, ma'am

588. I enjoyed it immensely

589. I'll have somebody come by and pick up the Association's books

590. Yes, of course

591. Lieutenant, you forgot your fortune cookie

592. To tell you the truth, ma'am, I could use some good news

593. "Cheer up

594. "There is more than one fish in the sea"

595. That's the kind I always get

596. Once I would like it to say I'm gonna be rich and go away on a long trip

597. Just once

598. Goodbye, Lieutenant

599. Charming

600. Join us, please

601. You're a most welcome part of this surprising evening

602. I wanted you to have one last taste of Tokyo

603. before you begin your tour of American restaurants

604. They won't believe this when I send back the story

605. They think I'm eating hot dogs and grits

606. Have you ever eaten grits? No, not yet

607. Don't bother

608. And now, the piéce de résistance

609. Fugu sashimi? Incredible

610. This cannot really be fugu?

611. I did it myself, exactly the way you taught me

612. Is it authentic?

613. I can't believe it

614. Fugu sashimi in Los Angeles

615. I'll get it

616. I'm definitely not home To anyone

617. Good evening, ma'am

618. My name is Lieutenant Columbo, Homicide

619. I'd like to speak to Mr Gerard Is he home?

620. I'm not sure

621. Is it a big place?

622. Or is he just out to the police?

623. Paul, Lieutenant Columbo is here

624. Good evening, Lieutenant

625. Oh, I beg your pardon, sir

626. The young lady didn't tell me you were eating

627. It's quite all right

628. How may I help you?

629. Well, I expected to Sorry

630. I expected to see you at Mr Rossi's funeral

631. I guess you couldn't make it

632. I never go to funerals

633. I prefer to remember my friends as I saw them last

634. I believe Mr Rossi was yelling at you

635. when you saw him last, isn't that right, sir?

636. You mustn't take me literally, Lieutenant

637. Have you eaten?

638. Yes, sir

639. It seems I've been eating quite a bit lately

640. It's terrific A pity

641. You could have joined us

642. Well, that's very good of you, sir Maybe a small bite

643. I'm delighted

644. A new setting, please, for our latest arrival

645. Sit down, Lieutenant

646. I'm Eve Plummer, Mr Gerard's assistant

647. Pleased to meet you, ma'am

648. My distinguished colleague from Japan, Kanzy Ozu

649. How do you do, sir? The two modest maidens are professional entertainers

650. Geishas

651. Are you a lieutenant with the American Army?

652. No, sir Los Angeles Police

653. Homicide Right, Lieutenant?

654. That's right, ma'am

655. There was a murder movie on the plane Brilliant

656. I'm afraid I bore Paul with the detail

657. all the way from the airport

658. That must have been the night that Vittorio was murdered

659. The very same night

660. Do you have a hot suspect?

661. Well, I've got my eyes on one

662. Mr Gerard, this is a lovely place you have here

663. Thank you

664. Oh, that's quite a dish

665. I've never seen a dish like this before

666. What is that called?

667. Raw fish

668. In Japanese, it is fugu sashimi A delicacy

669. Why don't you try it? It's a developed taste

670. I think the Lieutenant would prefer one of the cooked dishes

671. Oh, I am sure there is nothing wrong with his taste

672. Allow me

673. Fugu for the Lieutenant

674. Gee, that's funny

675. I thought that the fugu was gonna taste like tuna fish

676. Did I say something wrong?

677. Not exactly Shall we tell him?

678. I don't think our guest is interested in fish stories

679. Eve's off tomorrow night on a trip to Europe,

680. to visit every major restaurant on the continent

681. Lieutenant, they're having a little joke at your expense

682. The fish you have just eaten,

683. what you call a blowfish or puffer fish,

684. is deadly poison

685. Is it?

686. Except when it's prepared by a master chef

687. Then it's heavenly

688. In Japan, the chef must be licensed by the Department of Health

689. Every year hundreds of people die

690. trying to prepare fugu themselves

691. Holy mackerel

692. Excuse me?

693. I was just thinking about a fortune cookie that I read today

694. Mr Gerard, this has been educational,

695. but I really have to be running along

696. Ma'am, enjoy your trip

697. Mr Ozu

698. Sayonara, sayonara

699. Oh, one more thing

700. Gee, I almost forgot what I came here to ask you

701. Fortunately you remembered

702. As you're an expert on restaurants, sir,

703. I wanted to ask you,

704. do you know anything about the Restaurant Developers Association?

705. I don't know anything about it, Lieutenant

706. I've never heard of it Have you?

707. No

708. No, Lieutenant, I'm sorry

709. Well, that's all right, ma'am

710. As the Chinese say,

711. there's more than one fish in the sea

712. Vittorio and I had a binding agreement

713. He didn't lend money and we didn't make lasagna

714. This was his favorite coffee cake

715. I used to serve it every time he came by to talk

716. Oh, my, oh

717. Oh, this is sensational

718. We always used to think so

719. Restaurant Developers' commercial account

720. Oh, thank you

721. Scrumptious Let me help you, ma'am

722. This is the best cake I have ever eaten

723. As you can see, Mr Crawford,

724. a balance of $17512

725. As I told you, Lieutenant

726. Then we have the savings account

727. Say what? Account, what?

728. The Restaurant Developers also has a savings account at the bank

729. You know that's what Mrs Columbo said?

730. She said there's probably two accounts

731. and somehow they got mixed up

732. I beg your pardon, Lieutenant,

733. these accounts are not mixed up,

734. but a corporate savings account is a little unusual

735. This savings account, excuse me,

736. is where Mr Vittorio's checks were deposited

737. Also the checks from Chez Duvall

738. and the House of Shanghai

739. Who has access to this account?

740. Just one person A Mrs Irene DeMilo

741. I would like to speak to Mrs DeMilo

742. Claire

743. Her only address seems to be a post office box

744. She came in two days ago and closed out the account

745. She asked me to draw up a cashier's check

746. for everything in the account

747. Except $3000

748. She took out $3000 in cash

749. In travelers' checks

750. In travelers' checks

751. This is the best cake I've ever eaten

752. Would you say this looks like me, Lieutenant?

753. I'd say it doesn't do you justice, Miss Plummer

754. You're an angel

755. I'm sorry about Mr Gerard

756. I know, ma'am He's busy at the Chez Duvall

757. He's getting ready for tonight's Restaurant Writers' dinner

758. I'll be thinking about you on the plane

759. You are going to the dinner, aren't you?

760. Oh, certainly, ma'am

761. Mrs Columbo and I, we appreciate the invitation

762. Wouldn't miss it for the world

763. You should've been there last year It was terrific

764. Oh, Mrs DeMilo Yes, Lieuten

765. The bank

766. The bank, Miss Plummer

767. Only in this case, it's more like a laundry

768. I have a feeling I just blew a trip to Europe

769. I suppose there'll be questions

770. Let's begin

771. with where Mr Gerard buys his fish

772. His fish?

773. His fish, ma'am

774. How did the poison get into the bottle?

775. The banquet, I know

776. How did the poison get into the

777. Who's been here?

778. Nobody's been here

779. Now we're going to the banquet

780. Now we're gonna get something terrific to eat

781. No Mrs Columbo this evening?

782. Oh, well, sir It's her night school Final exam in accounting

783. She was dying to come here

784. but at the last minute she decided she'd better take the exam

785. Oh

786. Once again, dear friends, we are dining together on the finest cuisine,

787. drinking the best of wines

788. And once again we, the restaurant writers,

789. are about to bestow our coveted Award of Merit

790. But this is not the happy occasion

791. we had so eagerly anticipated

792. One who was very special to us all is no longer here

793. For three years in succession,

794. we have held our annual dinner at Vittorios

795. This year the awards committee

796. decided that it would be more appropriate to meet somewhere else

797. Lieutenant Columbo,

798. perhaps I should have told you the reason before,

799. but it was a closely guarded secret

800. I couldnt even tell Vittorio

801. Ladies and gentlemen, I now present our coveted award

802. posthumously to the great Vittorio Rossi

803. And I call on his nephew, Mario DeLucca, to accept Mario?

804. Bravo, Mario! Bravo, Mario! Bravo!

805. Thank you very much

806. Tenente Columbo

807. Hi, lover Hi

808. What are you doing here?

809. You're supposed to be on a plane to Paris

810. That was Irene DeMilo

811. Eve Plummer's been grounded

812. lm Tenente Columbo and this is my friend Mario

813. He doesn't speak much English yet

814. So I want to say this

815. I know the two things

816. that he wants more than anything in the whole world

817. One is to be a success here in America

818. Youve given him a start with that

819. The other is that the murderer of his uncle be punished

820. I think I can help with that

821. By this same time

822. tomorrow,

823. the person who murdered Vittorio Rossi

824. will be under arrest

825. and thats a promise

826. Oh, that was a lovely speech

827. Would you like to hear mine? I quit

828. Ciao

829. Mr Gerard, sir

830. Yes, Lieutenant

831. Now that this case is almost over,

832. this might be our last opportunity

833. to cook something up together Yes

834. Who knows when our paths will cross again?

835. Vittorio's will still be closed tomorrow

836. Maybe we could get to use all those terrific tools

837. and that beautiful stove

838. What do you say, sir?

839. Would you join me around noon?

840. Lieutenant, if you hadn't brought it up,

841. I was about to suggest it myself

842. Lieutenant, I'm late I'm sorry

843. I'm just chopping up some shallots

844. Two should be enough

845. For what?

846. A recipe from my pop

847. He used to cook for us kids when my mother was in the hospital

848. having a baby

849. That was about once a year for a while there

850. Veal scallops

851. Slightly seasoned with salt and white pepper

852. Somehow it looks better on veal than black pepper

853. The dried fresh mushrooms, sir,

854. they're diced and they're soaking in a dish on the counter

855. Now could this dish of yours possibly be

856. escalopes de veau aux cépes?

857. Well, pop just called it scaloppini

858. Let's see if we can find a goodsized pan

859. This is fine

860. I'm just gonna heat up some sweet butter

861. About a tablespoon or so

862. And a dash of olive oil

863. Olive oil first keeps the butter from burning,

864. Well, this is the way they did it where pop came from

865. He was from the old country, like Vittorio

866. Oh, I'll prepare the dressing for the salad

867. You know, I've been thinking about the murder, sir

868. We were all wrong about the poison

869. It wasn't in any of the bottles down in the wine cellar

870. So the only other possibility

871. is that the killer brought it with him

872. But why?

873. I'm gonna start browning up the veal, sir Just a few at a time

874. Yes, I think you're gonna be interested in the killer's motive

875. Undoubtedly

876. He was a silent partner in the Restaurant Developers Association

877. You remember I mentioned that to you

878. Yes, you did

879. Vittorio and the others were paying the killer a lot of money for many years

880. You see, he was someone in a position to publicize their restaurants

881. and make them successful

882. Or else he could print a few bad items and demolish them

883. What it was, it was a form of extortion

884. Would you like some wine, sir?

885. There's an open bottle on the table, help yourself

886. Thank you

887. Would you care for a glass, Lieutenant? Yes, sir

888. Coming up

889. I could also use

890. about a half a cup for my scaloppine

891. Please, please, go on with your explanation

892. I'm fascinated

893. It went on that way for some time, sir,

894. with Vittorio paying off along with the other people

895. But after a while, he didn't want to pay anymore

896. He might even have made threats on his own

897. And that was the motive for the murder, sir

898. You're right That's very interesting

899. But

900. But it's only conjecture, of course

901. Oh, yes

902. We have no way of knowing for certain

903. No, unless we got a lot of cooperation

904. from the other people in the Association

905. Correct

906. Oh I forgot your wine I'll open another bottle

907. I'm taking out the veal, sir

908. Then I'm gonna add my shallots and my mushrooms

909. and let 'em bubble around in the pan for a minute or so

910. You look perfectly at home in a kitchen

911. It's amazing

912. When I was growing up, sir,

913. that's where we spent most of our time

914. We had a living room that was mostly for visits from the teacher

915. and funerals

916. I'm adding the wine, sir

917. Your wine

918. Oh, just set it down for a moment, sir

919. I want to stir this around for a minute or two

920. By the way,

921. the night Vittorio died,

922. you never did intend to eat his whole meal, did you, sir?

923. What makes you say that?

924. Well, the appointment book, sir

925. Mr Rossi had you down for 8:00

926. I arrived at 8:00

927. Well, then you went to the airport later on To pick up Mr Ozu

928. Mr Ozu says

929. that he came in on the movie flight

930. and according to the airline schedule, sir,

931. the only movie flight arrived at 8:55

932. And since you planned to meet that plane, Mr Gerard,

933. there is no way that you could have enjoyed

934. an entire meal

935. and still got to the airport in 55 minutes

936. So, you knew that you were going to leave early, sir

937. You never intended to eat Vittorio's dinner

938. Bravo

939. Lieutenant,

940. guilty

941. I was going to make some excuse to Vittorio

942. As it turned out,

943. I didn't have to

944. You're doing very well Very well

945. What else have you learned?

946. I'm adding the veal to the pan, sir

947. Oh!

948. The boys at the lab finally got a fix on that poison the killer used

949. It was Japanese

950. blowfish poison

951. Fugu?

952. You can't be serious Fugu?

953. It's a terrific poison

954. The killer knew we couldn't trace it

955. And between you and me,

956. he had access to that kind of fish

957. There's a fish store in Little Tokyo

958. that buys them off a couple of fishermen

959. But how did the murderer get the fugu poison into the bottle?

960. Excuse the outburst, Lieutenant

961. Lieutenant,

962. Vittorio was alone when he opened the bottle

963. Right, sir

964. Right Right

965. Vittorio was indeed alone

966. Ah, that's the point, sir

967. Now, a very odd thing happened here the other day,

968. when I was recreating the crime as they say

969. Just before you arrived here at Vittorio's kitchen,

970. Albert took this apart for me

971. because I wanted to take the cartridge

972. down to the lab to have the boys check it out

973. And what did they find?

974. Not a thing, sir But, and here's what's odd,

975. Albert put a nice, fresh, new, full cartridge

976. into the opener for me

977. And nobody used that opener until last night

978. when just before the banquet,

979. I myself, sitting right here, tried to open a bottle of wine

980. and the opener was empty, sir, flat out

981. From which you concluded?

982. I asked myself,

983. I asked myself,

984. how does a full cartridge become an empty cartridge

985. without opening any bottles?

986. And the answer was,

987. somebody's been switching bottle openers around here

988. Switching? Switching more than once, sir

989. That's my opinion

990. And then there's this

991. You see this, sir?

992. Yes

993. Well, this hollow needle could also hold a tiny bit of poison,

994. probably injected with a hypodermic syringe

995. And that's what the killer prepared, sir

996. He took an opener identical to the one that Vittorio used

997. and he put poison in the needle

998. And he took that opener with him to the dinner

999. and at an opportune time, he switched the openers

1000. So when Vittorio was by himself in the kitchen,

1001. and the boy was showing you to the door,

1002. Vittorio used the switched opener

1003. to poison his own wine

1004. You understand, sir?

1005. Lieutenant, I regret to tell you

1006. that I understand all too well

1007. It was a terrific scheme, sir

1008. Your only mistake was coming back

1009. the next night so that you could switch back the openers

1010. so we couldn't find any trace of poison

1011. and that was right after Albert put in the fresh cartridge

1012. Brilliantly deduced

1013. Shall we drink to your successful solution of the case?

1014. I couldn't have done it, sir, without your help

1015. On the other hand,

1016. there remains a matter of proof

1017. Oh, I can't prove any of this, sir

1018. But it did bother me

1019. that there was a poisoned opener around the exact twin of this one

1020. So when I came in here today, I took the trouble

1021. of putting a little nick in the top

1022. Right there, sir

1023. But you'll notice there is no nick

1024. See?

1025. Yes

1026. It must be a different opener

1027. No question about it

1028. Ah! I wouldn't, sir

1029. Don't drink

1030. You switched the openers again

1031. but I switched the glasses

1032. That's the poisoned glass, sir

1033. The glass I was supposed to drink

1034. I'll just keep this for the boys down in the lab

1035. That's what they call proof

1036. You must try this, sir

1037. I'm really interested in your opinion

1038. You're a very able man, Lieutenant

1039. I respect that

1040. But I really don't care for you very much

1041. You know, sir, I was thinking the same thing about you

1042. I respect your talent

1043. But I don't like anything else about you

1044. The dressing is perfect

1045. Thank you

1046. When did you first suspect me?

1047. Well, as it happens, sir,

1048. about two minutes after I met you

1049. That can't be possible

1050. Oh, you made it perfectly clear, sir,

1051. the very first night,

1052. when you decided to come to the restaurant

1053. directly after you were informed

1054. that Vittorio was poisoned

1055. I was instructed to come here by the police

1056. And you came, sir Yes

1057. After eating dinner with a man that had been poisoned

1058. You didn't go to a doctor

1059. You came because the police instructed you

1060. You didn't go to a hospital,

1061. you didn't even ask to have your stomach pumped

1062. Mr Gerard,

1063. that's the damnedest example

1064. of good citizenship I've ever seen

1065. I see

1066. I see

1067. What do you think?

1068. Lieutenant,

1069. I wish you had been a chef

1070. I understand, sir