1. What is this, sir?Copy !req
2. Well, I don't
exactly know.Copy !req
3. Is it old? Beats me.Copy !req
4. That's a
battle-ax.Copy !req
5. It was used by
William the Conqueror
in 1066.Copy !req
6. If you want to know
more about artifacts,Copy !req
7. there's a tape recorder
with earphones available
right over there.Copy !req
8. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
9. Janie, may I see you
for a moment, please?Copy !req
10. Now, the only chore
I asked you to do this month
was to hire a guard.Copy !req
11. And I hired one,
didn't I?Copy !req
12. You certainly did.Copy !req
13. The brother of the man
you're keeping company with.Copy !req
14. He doesn't seem to have
any other qualifications.Copy !req
15. Aunt Ruth,
he was in the Army.
He can handle a gunCopy !req
16. and he's the only one
who was willing to work
for that salary.Copy !req
17. If, as you've told me,
his brother has beenCopy !req
18. getting him out of trouble
since he was 13,Copy !req
19. I would think
he'd be willing
to work for any salary.Copy !req
20. You haven't said anything
to Uncle Edward?Copy !req
21. Oh, don't be foolish.Copy !req
22. Do you think he'd be allowed
to set foot in here if I had?Copy !req
23. Aunt Ruth,
he is not a bad person.Copy !req
24. Tim says that
gambling is a disease,Copy !req
25. just like alcohol.Copy !req
26. Nevertheless, I would not
have hired an alcoholicCopy !req
27. to guard the museumCopy !req
28. if I had known
he was one
when I hired him.Copy !req
29. I'm sorry.Copy !req
30. I should have
told you before.Copy !req
31. But he is working outCopy !req
32. and he is the only one
I could get for that money.Copy !req
33. Yes, that is a point.Copy !req
34. When Edward makes
the next cut in the budget,Copy !req
35. I'll be running the museum
all by myself.Copy !req
36. Aunt Ruth, I think that
you should do something else.Copy !req
37. I think you should
get out more.Copy !req
38. Aunt Ruth,
how'd you like me
to get you a date?Copy !req
39. I'm not your age, Janie.Copy !req
40. I don't date.Copy !req
41. I didn't spend my time dating
when I was your age.Copy !req
42. I was expected
to be here then, too.Copy !req
43. Mother dated.Copy !req
44. She wasn't expected
to be here.Copy !req
45. How did she
get off?Copy !req
46. She was lovely.Copy !req
47. Lovely women are always
the exception.Copy !req
48. I think you're lovely,
Aunt Ruth.Copy !req
49. I think you're old-fashioned,
without being old.Copy !req
50. I wish you were
my mother.Copy !req
51. No, you don't.Copy !req
52. I just saw Janie
racing down the corridor
like an escaped convict.Copy !req
53. Janie at least
knocks on doors.Copy !req
54. Sorry.Copy !req
55. I don't have much time
for old-fashioned manners.Copy !req
56. There, you've just
said it, too.Copy !req
57. Janie was trying
to pay me a compliment.Copy !req
58. She called me old-fashioned.
And you just seconded it.Copy !req
59. Is that a compliment?Copy !req
60. It's better than nothing.Copy !req
61. "A compliment is something
like a kiss through a veil."Copy !req
62. Yeah.Copy !req
63. Oscar Wilde?Copy !req
64. Victor Hugo.Copy !req
65. Well, that's
close enough.Copy !req
66. When's Janie coming back?Copy !req
67. She isn't.Copy !req
68. Did you give her
the weekend off?Copy !req
69. Edward, she can't spend
all of her time here.
She'll wind up like me.Copy !req
70. The books have
to be closed outCopy !req
71. and the inventory
finished by next week.Copy !req
72. Well, I'll be here
till past midnight
again for two nights.Copy !req
73. Hire a secretary.Copy !req
74. With what?Copy !req
75. This museum
is a losing concern,
and you know it.Copy !req
76. Museums are not
a money-making proposition.Copy !req
77. Oh, please.
Not that again.Copy !req
78. I'm the curator, Edward.Copy !req
79. And I am the trustee.Copy !req
80. Kindly keep in mind
that I have to manage
all the funds Mother leftCopy !req
81. and that I have
what I consider to beCopy !req
82. a sacred duty
to the family.Copy !req
83. It's up to me
to make a profit.Copy !req
84. Why do people always
speak of money as sacred?Copy !req
85. Maybe because it is.Copy !req
86. And the way
the museum is going,Copy !req
87. there is no choice.Copy !req
88. I'll have to kill it.Copy !req
89. What did you say?Copy !req
90. Oh, now,
let's not be shocked.Copy !req
91. And let's not
make me the villain.Copy !req
92. You've known
what this inventory
would mean.Copy !req
93. You've been keeping me
from it for months.Copy !req
94. We can't go on pouring money
into this place.Copy !req
95. We'd be several million
dollars richer,Copy !req
96. I mean, all of us,Copy !req
97. if we justCopy !req
98. got rid of this
silly place, finally,
and sold the contents.Copy !req
99. That is a family decision,
I presume.Copy !req
100. A majority family decision.
Two out of three.Copy !req
101. And I'm going to
broach the subject
to Sister tonight.Copy !req
102. And it's my guess
she'll cast her vote my way.Copy !req
103. She's beginning to check
the grocery bills.Copy !req
104. And I'm counting pennies.Copy !req
105. You always did.Copy !req
106. Is that what you came
to talk to me about, Edward?Copy !req
107. No.Copy !req
108. I came in to see
if you had any idea yet
who's pilfering the inventory.Copy !req
109. I've found three Renaissance
artifacts missing so far
that are on the list.Copy !req
110. Fortunately, they're not
very expensive ones.Copy !req
111. And I would appreciate
your attending to
what is missingCopy !req
112. instead of what
can be bought.Copy !req
113. I'll attend to it
right away.Copy !req
114. Oh! Ruth!Copy !req
115. I'm sorry, it's habit.Copy !req
116. I do everything I can,
Edward, to save money.
I really do.Copy !req
117. I run this place like a miser
in every area I can.Copy !req
118. I know. I know, Ruth.
I'm sorry I shouted.Copy !req
119. You're a good sport.Copy !req
120. You always were.Copy !req
121. "Nowadays we are so hard upCopy !req
122. "that the only pleasant things
to pay are compliments."Copy !req
123. Victor Hugo?Copy !req
124. Oscar Wilde.Copy !req
125. Pick it up, please,
Mr. Shaeffer.Copy !req
126. Miss Lytton?Copy !req
127. The butt.Copy !req
128. It's still burning.Copy !req
129. Pick it up
and put it out.Copy !req
130. And then I'd like to
see you in the garden.Copy !req
131. May I die,
I wouldn't steal from you.Copy !req
132. None of that is true.Copy !req
133. Who told you?Copy !req
134. Mr. Shaeffer,
you were hired
for this jobCopy !req
135. because my niece believes
that she is in love
with your brother.Copy !req
136. Your brother thinks
that he is in love
with my niece.Copy !req
137. He therefore confides
everything in her.Copy !req
138. She, in turn,
confides in me.Copy !req
139. Among the three of us,
you have no secrets.Copy !req
140. Miss Lytton,Copy !req
141. my brother
doesn't know anything
about any new gambling debts.Copy !req
142. The other night,
two men were here
looking for you.Copy !req
143. You told them
I worked here?Copy !req
144. No.Copy !req
145. But they will
find out.Copy !req
146. Just as my brother
will find outCopy !req
147. about the things
that you've stolen
from us.Copy !req
148. Why didn't you tell them
I worked here?Copy !req
149. Why didn't you
tell your brother
what you think I did?Copy !req
150. Why did you let me
keep on working here
if you knew?Copy !req
151. Because I need you.Copy !req
152. You... What for?Copy !req
153. To arrange a robbery,
for which I'll pay you
$100,000 in cash.Copy !req
154. Are you
tape-recording this?Copy !req
155. I'm not dumb,
you know.Copy !req
156. No matter what
my brother thinks...Copy !req
157. Mr. Shaeffer,
I'm not trying
to trap you.Copy !req
158. Why should I?
You and I can
help each other.Copy !req
159. Everything in the museum
is insured
for a great deal of money.Copy !req
160. Surely, you must know
how short we are of funds.Copy !req
161. Oh, I get it. Of course you do.Copy !req
162. The robbery
must be carried out
at 2:00 a.m. tonight.Copy !req
163. We'll go over the details
of how you are to break in.Copy !req
164. Tonight?Copy !req
165. I will give you a list
of the items,Copy !req
166. of the things
that I want you to take.Copy !req
167. Tonight? That's tonight?Copy !req
168. Yes, that's right, tonight.
We have no time to waste.Copy !req
169. You may be run over
on another sidewalk
any minute now.Copy !req
170. Tomorrow morning
I want you
out of the country.Copy !req
171. Miss Lytton,
I don't even
have a passport.Copy !req
172. I've had one
made for you.Copy !req
173. It's in the name
of George Balonsky.Copy !req
174. Now, I will meet you
at 3:00 a.m. tonight,
after the robbery,Copy !req
175. on Sandhill Road.Copy !req
176. At that time,
you will bring meCopy !req
177. the items
that you have stolen.Copy !req
178. I will give you
the passport
and the money.Copy !req
179. Mmm-hmm. And your brother
will report the robbery,Copy !req
180. and they'll be
on the lookout for me
in every airport...Copy !req
181. Be quiet!Copy !req
182. Just listen.Copy !req
183. Here is $3,000
in advance.Copy !req
184. You take it.
You buy anything
you need.Copy !req
185. The best part,
Mr. Shaeffer,Copy !req
186. is that I have found a way
for you to disappearCopy !req
187. so that no one
will look for you.Copy !req
188. No one will associate you
with the robbery.Copy !req
189. You'll have $100,000
and you'll be safe.Copy !req
190. You can start a new life,
new name, new luck.Copy !req
191. There is no way nobody's gonna
associate me with the robbery.
Are you kidding?Copy !req
192. I'd have to be dead. Yes.Copy !req
193. It will have to look that way.Copy !req
194. It's my wife. Come on,
we better get out of here.Copy !req
195. This is Dr. Tim Shaeffer
speaking.Copy !req
196. I'm not on call this weekend.Copy !req
197. However,
if you wish to leave
a personal message for meCopy !req
198. you have 30 seconds
in which to do so.Copy !req
199. Kindly wait for the beep.Copy !req
200. Tim, it's Milton.Copy !req
201. I'm calling
from a phone booth.
I haven't got another dime.Copy !req
202. Tim, can you get here by 9:30?Copy !req
203. I can't wait but 20 minutes.Copy !req
204. Tim, I'm in trouble.
I'm in real...Copy !req
205. Hey! Hey, don't, don't...
Please, or I'll...Copy !req
206. Why would she call
to warn you?Copy !req
207. Because she always
gives me a warning.Copy !req
208. She wants to interrupt me,
not to catch me.Copy !req
209. Then she'd have to
give me a divorce.Copy !req
210. Janie?Copy !req
211. Yes, Mother?Copy !req
212. It is considered
good mannersCopy !req
213. to say hello
to your motherCopy !req
214. when you come
into the houseCopy !req
215. and goodbye
when you go out.Copy !req
216. I'm sorry, Mother.Copy !req
217. Hello.
Hello, Aunt Ruth.Copy !req
218. Your Uncle Edward was furious
at your leaving this evening.Copy !req
219. You know how much
he depended upon youCopy !req
220. to help him tonight
with the inventory!Copy !req
221. I'm sorry, Mother.It's my fault, Phyllis.Copy !req
222. I told Janie she could
go out tonight.Copy !req
223. I forgot what needed
to be done.Copy !req
224. Ruth, you needn't always
be making excuses for her.Copy !req
225. The day
you forget an inventory,
I'll forget a cocktail party.Copy !req
226. I thought you had one
at the Franksons'.Copy !req
227. Oh, I see!Copy !req
228. You had a quarrel
tonight with your date
and came home earlyCopy !req
229. hoping to have
one of your quiet
little tête-à-têteswith RuthCopy !req
230. about life and loneliness
and heartbreak.Copy !req
231. So sorry to have intruded.Copy !req
232. I don't know what you're
talking about, Mother.Copy !req
233. It's not early. It's 11:00.Copy !req
234. Janie, 11:00
on a Saturday nightCopy !req
235. is usually the time
you're going out.Copy !req
236. Well, then, I guess
it was an early night
for both of us, Mother.Copy !req
237. Oh, for heaven's sake,
stop feeling sorry
for yourself.Copy !req
238. You have no reason
to avoid meCopy !req
239. when you're going out
in the evenings.Copy !req
240. I don't begrudge you
a social life.Copy !req
241. Why do you act
as though I do?Copy !req
242. Of course,
when I was your age,Copy !req
243. I wouldn't leave a room
unless it was on a man's arm.Copy !req
244. You didn't have to.Copy !req
245. There was always
an arm to support you.Copy !req
246. There still is.Copy !req
247. That's why I left
the Franksons' early.
Bill Sitwell was leaving.Copy !req
248. There is a man's arm
to support any woman
who wants one.Copy !req
249. No.Copy !req
250. Not any woman.Copy !req
251. Eleventh-century
silver plate.Copy !req
252. Small wooden dish,
12th century.Copy !req
253. Justinian book,
7th century.Copy !req
254. Miss Lytton!
What are you doing here?Copy !req
255. I have the passport
and the money with me.Copy !req
256. I won't be able
to meet you later.Copy !req
257. Quickly.
Take the briefcase
over to the phone booth.Copy !req
258. Mr. Shaeffer.Copy !req
259. Hello?
Anyone down there?Copy !req
260. Edward, I just knocked
everything over.Copy !req
261. Ruth? But it's almost
2:00 in the morning.Copy !req
262. What are you doing here?Copy !req
263. Oh, I do wish everyone
would stop asking me that.Copy !req
264. Tim,
can you get here by 9:30?Copy !req
265. I can't wait but 20 minutes.Copy !req
266. Tim, I'm in trouble.
I'm in real...Copy !req
267. Hey! Hey, don't, don't...
Please, or I'll...Copy !req
268. I heard it ringing
and I didn't answer,
and now he's dead.Copy !req
269. Or dying.Copy !req
270. It doesn't sound
like you'd have
had much timeCopy !req
271. to do anything
if you did answer,
Dr. Shaeffer.Copy !req
272. He had no luck.Copy !req
273. He always said it.Copy !req
274. I always laughed.Copy !req
275. I told him he was lucky
he was still alive.Copy !req
276. What time did you pick up
your messages this morning,
sir?Copy !req
277. I don't know exactly.
About an hour ago.Copy !req
278. It's 7:30.Copy !req
279. Well, I couldn't
sleep,Copy !req
280. and I was expecting
a call from my wife.Copy !req
281. Lieutenant, we called
the Lytton house.Copy !req
282. I spoke to a
Miss Ruth Lytton.Copy !req
283. She said her brother
fired Milton Shaeffer.Copy !req
284. Yesterday morning
at about 11:30.Copy !req
285. You talk to the brother?Copy !req
286. She won't wake him up, sir.Copy !req
287. She says he was taking
an inventory last nightCopy !req
288. and was probably up
until 3:00 or 4:00
in the morning.Copy !req
289. Did you know that your brother
had been fired, Dr. Shaeffer?Copy !req
290. No. But it figures.
He always is. God, I...Copy !req
291. I shouldn't
say that now.Copy !req
292. We checked out
the Shaeffer apartment.Copy !req
293. The landlady says
she didn't see him
all day yesterday.Copy !req
294. And nothing was taken.
We inventoried the place.Copy !req
295. Okay. Well, lock it up,
and I'll go to the Lytton's
and then check it out.Copy !req
296. Yes, sir.Copy !req
297. Should you be up?Copy !req
298. It's not a cold.
It's an allergy.
Every spring.Copy !req
299. From what you told me
about your brother, sir,
it seems surprisingCopy !req
300. that he would be hired
for this sort of work.Copy !req
301. Yes. It surprised me, too.Copy !req
302. But people like the Lyttons
are often surprising.Copy !req
303. Eccentric,
I think is the term,
above a certain income.Copy !req
304. Do you know
the Lyttons, sir?Copy !req
305. By reputation.
Who doesn't?Copy !req
306. Me, sir, for instance.Copy !req
307. My wife reads
the society columns the way
some people read the Bible.Copy !req
308. There's some mention
of Phyllis Lytton Brandt
every week.Copy !req
309. Yes, sir,
I know what you mean.Copy !req
310. My wife is
the same way about...Copy !req
311. Ann Landers'
Advice to the Lovelorn.Copy !req
312. Well, I better be going.Copy !req
313. Would you like
an antihistamine
to dry you up, there?Copy !req
314. Oh, no, sir, thank you.
Just makes me sleepy.Copy !req
315. And at 7:30 in the morning
that's very dangerous.Copy !req
316. Yes?Copy !req
317. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
318. Lieutenant Columbo, ma'am.
Homicide department.Copy !req
319. Forgive me for
waking you up. Very nice.Copy !req
320. Very nice little things
you have standing around.Copy !req
321. Very nice.Copy !req
322. Well, thank you,
Lieutenant.Copy !req
323. Are you interested
in figurines,Copy !req
324. or has there been
a homicide?Copy !req
325. Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.
Yes and no.Copy !req
326. What I mean is,
that's what I'm trying
to find out.Copy !req
327. You know, when I say
"Homicide department,"Copy !req
328. most women,
they act a little upset.Copy !req
329. So I try and calm them
with a little chit-chat.Copy !req
330. I've been doing that
for so longCopy !req
331. that I forgot to notice
that you weren't upset.Copy !req
332. Forgive me
for wandering off.Copy !req
333. I've disappointed you.
My sister won't.Copy !req
334. You needn't even bother
saying "Homicide."Copy !req
335. "Foul play" will do it.
She faints.Copy !req
336. Oh, I hope not, ma'am.
That's the last thing I want.Copy !req
337. What do you want, Lieutenant?
Perhaps if you told me.Copy !req
338. Oh, I've wandered off again,
didn't I?Copy !req
339. I'm afraid I let you.
Won't you sit down?Copy !req
340. Thank you very much, ma'am.Copy !req
341. It has to do
with the new guard
at the museum.Copy !req
342. Shaeffer.Copy !req
343. I gathered that.Copy !req
344. A Sergeant Miller
called to inquire about himCopy !req
345. at 7:00 this morning.Copy !req
346. Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry
to have gotten you up
so early on a Sunday morning.Copy !req
347. But, you see,
we got a call earlier...Copy !req
348. I'm sorry, ma'am.
Forgive me.Copy !req
349. Oh, no. Not at all.Copy !req
350. Allergy.Copy !req
351. Pollen, I should say.Copy !req
352. Chamomile tea
is the best cure for that.Copy !req
353. I detest modern medicine.
Don't you?Copy !req
354. Yes, ma'am?Copy !req
355. Cathy, would you
bring the lieutenant
a cup of chamomile tea?Copy !req
356. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
357. You got a report?Copy !req
358. That Mr. Shaeffer
had disappeared.Copy !req
359. He called his brother
last night about 9:00Copy !req
360. and he left a message
on the answering machine
asking for help.Copy !req
361. Then we heard a noise,
which we're pretty sure
was a gunshot.Copy !req
362. Good heavens.Copy !req
363. Yes.Copy !req
364. We don't know
where the call came from,Copy !req
365. so we're trying
to track him down.Copy !req
366. Well, that's strange.
And awkward, too.Copy !req
367. It leaves the museum
unprotected.Copy !req
368. I shall have to ask my brother
to hire someone immediately.Copy !req
369. He's the one
who fired Mr. Shaeffer.Copy !req
370. Is he also the one
who hired him?Copy !req
371. Yes.Copy !req
372. No. No, wait a minute.
I believe my niece hired him.Copy !req
373. It's kind of
a delicate question, ma'am,Copy !req
374. but, I mean, considering
the way you live and all,Copy !req
375. and considering
what I found out about
Mr. Shaeffer this morning...Copy !req
376. What did you find out,
Lieutenant?Copy !req
377. Excuse me. Aunt Ruth?
Aren't you coming
to breakfast?Copy !req
378. This is my niece, Jane.
This is Lieutenant Columbo.Copy !req
379. Oh, how do you do, ma'am?Copy !req
380. Your aunt was telling me
that you hired a Mr. Shaeffer.Copy !req
381. How did you happen
to choose him for the job?Copy !req
382. Ma'am?Copy !req
383. Did you hire
Mr. Shaeffer?Copy !req
384. How did you happen
to choose him?Copy !req
385. Aunt Ruth?Copy !req
386. It's all right, dear.
You can tell him.Copy !req
387. Mr. Shaeffer is missing
and the lieutenant is trying
to find him.Copy !req
388. Oh. Why, I just put
an ad in the paper,
and he applied, and he...Copy !req
389. Good morning. Come in, Phyllis, dear.Copy !req
390. This is Lieutenant Columbo
of Homicide.Copy !req
391. You see?Copy !req
392. What you will do
is continue the inventory.Copy !req
393. Alone?Copy !req
394. What about
Uncle Edward?Copy !req
395. Let him sleep, dear.
Let him sleep.Copy !req
396. He was probably up
half the night.Copy !req
397. Sometimes, we must
be considerate.Copy !req
398. Even to those
we're not in love with.Copy !req
399. You know,Copy !req
400. somehow I keep
forgetting that.Copy !req
401. Aunt Ruth?Copy !req
402. Aunt Ruth?Copy !req
403. Aunt Ruth?Copy !req
404. Sorry about the car. It's all right, sir.
You got the dent.Copy !req
405. Miller!
What's happening?Copy !req
406. Sergeant Miller!
I can't see.Copy !req
407. Yes, sir.
The light is off
in the hall.Copy !req
408. Right. Why is that,
Sergeant?Copy !req
409. Because, sir, you said
to leave everything
just as it was.Copy !req
410. And the hallway is adjacent
to the murder room,Copy !req
411. and one of the bodies
fell almost in the doorway.Copy !req
412. Sergeant Miller! Sergeant...Copy !req
413. Oh, hi,
Lieutenant.Copy !req
414. Say, Philips has to use
a flashlight to outline
the bodies.Copy !req
415. We've dusted the light switch
here and in the hall.Copy !req
416. Now, can't we turn
the lights on?Copy !req
417. Not until
the Lieutenant
says so.Copy !req
418. Thank you very much,
Sergeant Miller.Copy !req
419. This is just
the way we found it, sir.Copy !req
420. Oh,
very good, Sergeant.Copy !req
421. Well, I think if we've
dusted the light switch,Copy !req
422. you can turn on
the lights.Copy !req
423. Yes, sir.Copy !req
424. The contents of his pockets
are on the case
here, Lieutenant.Copy !req
425. He obviously
entered hereCopy !req
426. after cutting the alarmCopy !req
427. and breaking
into the basement.Copy !req
428. He then broke
into the cases...Copy !req
429. Excuse me, Sergeant.
You done? Almost.Copy !req
430. removed the objects,
and placed them
in the briefcase.Copy !req
431. And then he went
back down to his car,Copy !req
432. saw the tire was flat,
and panicked.Copy !req
433. Came back up here
and tried to call his brother.Copy !req
434. Lytton surprised him
while he was on the phone.Copy !req
435. He fired, and Lytton fired
at the same time.Copy !req
436. And there you have it.Copy !req
437. Right.Copy !req
438. Well, we know
where Shaeffer is.Copy !req
439. Call his brother.
We'll get a positive
identification from himCopy !req
440. when he gets
to the morgue.Copy !req
441. Yes, sir.Copy !req
442. What's this?Copy !req
443. The contents
of his pocket, sir.Copy !req
444. No, I know that,
Sergeant.Copy !req
445. I mean this.Copy !req
446. Oh. That's probably
from the case, sir.Copy !req
447. It's old.Copy !req
448. I know something
about relics, sir.Copy !req
449. My wife and I...Copy !req
450. Yes, mine, too.
He had it in his pocket?Copy !req
451. Overcoat pocket.
Yes, sir.Copy !req
452. And everything else
is in there?Copy !req
453. Yes, sir.Copy !req
454. Nothing in the briefcase
has been touched.Copy !req
455. Very good, Sergeant.Copy !req
456. Big briefcase.
Plenty of room
still in there.Copy !req
457. Yes, sir.Copy !req
458. Wonder why he put this
in his pocket.Copy !req
459. Excuse me,
Lieutenant.Copy !req
460. We need a shot
of these articles.Copy !req
461. Oh, very sorry.Copy !req
462. You done? Not yet.Copy !req
463. He knew what
he was doing, sir.
Muffled his footsteps.Copy !req
464. Isn't that something?Copy !req
465. He broke in here
in new shoes.Copy !req
466. Yes. Well, he wore
rubbers, sir.Copy !req
467. No, what I mean is,
Sergeant,Copy !req
468. it takes a lot of footworkCopy !req
469. to break into
a place like this.Copy !req
470. Why wear rubbers?
Why not wear sneakers,
or crepe soles?Copy !req
471. These shoes are new.
They're stiff as a board.Copy !req
472. I don't think you could
bend your foot in them.Copy !req
473. Did you check to see
if there are any other
stolen items on the body?Copy !req
474. Not yet, sir.
I didn't want to change
the position of the body.Copy !req
475. Sergeant, is this paper
part of his contents?Copy !req
476. Yes, sir. It is.Copy !req
477. "Turn twice
right after midnight."Copy !req
478. Look at that shirt!Copy !req
479. "Turn twice
right after midnight."Copy !req
480. Open his coat,
Carter.Copy !req
481. Hmm.Copy !req
482. Isn't that clever?
It's an outfit.Copy !req
483. Is he wearing
an undershirt?Copy !req
484. Yes, sir, he is.Copy !req
485. Yeah. Does it have
a laundry mark?Copy !req
486. Not that I
can see, sir.Copy !req
487. George,
shoot your flashlight
in here, will you?Copy !req
488. Label is new.
It's stiff.Copy !req
489. His hair was
falling out, sir.Copy !req
490. The hairs are too
even for that.Copy !req
491. Looks like he
just got a haircut.Copy !req
492. And a manicure with it.Copy !req
493. Hmm,
that's some watch.Copy !req
494. See something, sir?Copy !req
495. Yeah, his watch is wrong.Copy !req
496. My watch cost $30.Copy !req
497. His must've cost
a couple of hundred,
and it's wrong.Copy !req
498. It says May 1st.Copy !req
499. It goes to show you
money doesn't buy quality.Copy !req
500. Lieutenant,
it is May 1st.Copy !req
501. Your watch is wrong.
His watch is right.Copy !req
502. Oh.Copy !req
503. Well, what do you
expect for $30?Copy !req
504. That looks like
an insect bite, sir.Copy !req
505. No, Sergeant.Copy !req
506. It's not an insect bite.Copy !req
507. Excuse me, George.Copy !req
508. Did you go
through his car?Copy !req
509. Yes, sir, I did.
There's nothing in it.Copy !req
510. Not even
a spare tire.Copy !req
511. And this is all there was
in his pockets.Copy !req
512. That's very peculiar,
isn't it, Sergeant?Copy !req
513. I have to be honest
with you, sir.Copy !req
514. Everything seems
perfectly normal to me.Copy !req
515. Why does it look
peculiar to you?Copy !req
516. Because I think
that every stitch
that Shaeffer is wearingCopy !req
517. is brand-new.Copy !req
518. And tropical.Copy !req
519. I think he was dressed
to go on a vacation.Copy !req
520. You mean with the haircut
and the manicure and all?Copy !req
521. Yes.Copy !req
522. But he had no luggage
and no cash.Copy !req
523. That's what's peculiar.Copy !req
524. And no passport.Copy !req
525. Passport?
Oh, sir, this guy's
not dressed for Europe.Copy !req
526. More for Vegas.Copy !req
527. If he was
going anywhere.Copy !req
528. Oh, he was going
somewhere, Sergeant.Copy !req
529. He was going
somewhere.Copy !req
530. I was afraid of that.Copy !req
531. There are so many
flowers around.Copy !req
532. Oh, you shouldn't have
bothered with that,
Miss Lytton,Copy !req
533. at a time like this.Copy !req
534. You've been here
for quite some time,
Lieutenant.Copy !req
535. Yes, ma'am. It can cast
a spell over you, this room.Copy !req
536. It's a fascinating room,
isn't it?Copy !req
537. I used to come here
often as a girl.Copy !req
538. I came here to be alone.Copy !req
539. When things happened.Copy !req
540. I came here
when my mother died,Copy !req
541. and my father, too.Copy !req
542. And before that.Copy !req
543. I'm very sorry
about your brother, ma'am.Copy !req
544. Thank you.Copy !req
545. Is that your mother
as a girl?Copy !req
546. She's got a nice face.Copy !req
547. It's a happy face.Copy !req
548. No. My mother was dead
when that was painted.Copy !req
549. That's a portrait of me.Copy !req
550. After I became engaged
to Peter Brandt.Copy !req
551. It is a happy face,
isn't it?Copy !req
552. Oh, I thought you were...Copy !req
553. An old maid, yes?Copy !req
554. That term refers to a woman
who has never been married,Copy !req
555. not necessarily to someone
who's never been engaged.Copy !req
556. Did something happen
to him, ma'am,Copy !req
557. or did you just decide that
you didn't wanna marry him?Copy !req
558. I didn't decide that.Copy !req
559. My sister makes most
of the family decisions.Copy !req
560. She did even then.Copy !req
561. She just didn't like
this fella, huh?Copy !req
562. No, I don't think
she did like him.Copy !req
563. I thought
she liked him
then, though.Copy !req
564. So did she.
She married him.Copy !req
565. I'm so sorry, Lieutenant.
I thought you knew.Copy !req
566. Everyone else does.Copy !req
567. She is
Mrs. Peter Brandt.Copy !req
568. It was in
all the papers.Copy !req
569. They eloped.Copy !req
570. Oh, then your niece,
Janie...Copy !req
571. Is the daughter that I
might have had. Yes.Copy !req
572. I suppose that's why
I feel about her
the way that I do.Copy !req
573. Lieutenant,
tell me something.Copy !req
574. Aside from being
under a spell,Copy !req
575. what have you really
been thinking about
all this time?Copy !req
576. To tell you the truth,
Miss Lytton,Copy !req
577. I've been thinking about
the way Mr. Shaeffer
was dressed.Copy !req
578. Oh?Copy !req
579. You know,
it's a funny way
to dress for a robbery.Copy !req
580. Even Sergeant Shaw whistled,Copy !req
581. and Sergeant Shaw
has been known
to wear fluorescent ties.Copy !req
582. Everything new,
including a haircut.Copy !req
583. And then there was
the note.Copy !req
584. What note?Copy !req
585. He had it in his pocket.Copy !req
586. Bear with me, ma'am.Copy !req
587. Oh, he had this
in his pocket, too.Copy !req
588. Everything else he stole
he put in the briefcase,
except this.Copy !req
589. It's funny, isn't it?Copy !req
590. And the note.Copy !req
591. "Turn twice
right after midnight."Copy !req
592. And what do you conclude
from that, Lieutenant?Copy !req
593. I think that Mr. Shaeffer
was leaving the country
right after the robbery.Copy !req
594. That he was going
some place tropical,Copy !req
595. that he had made
an appointment
to meet somebodyCopy !req
596. in order to get rid
of the stolen articles
before he left,Copy !req
597. "tonight."Copy !req
598. And he held out one item
because he wanted it
for himself.Copy !req
599. And you know what else,
Miss Lytton?Copy !req
600. What?Copy !req
601. I think that whoever
he was going to meet,Copy !req
602. he was going
to meet right here
on the museum grounds.Copy !req
603. That's fascinating.Copy !req
604. Why do you think that,
Lieutenant?Copy !req
605. Because this note
is a set of directionsCopy !req
606. and there's only one reason
that there's no streets
and no addresses on it.Copy !req
607. Because it is a place
that has no streets,Copy !req
608. and he was already
at the address.Copy !req
609. Right.Copy !req
610. That's exactly
what I thought.Copy !req
611. You would make
a very good detective,
Miss Lytton.Copy !req
612. Thank you.Copy !req
613. You seem to have it
all figured out.Copy !req
614. Yes, it all fits,
except for one thing.Copy !req
615. Where's his luggage?Copy !req
616. And where's his passport?Copy !req
617. They're not in his apartment.
So who took them, and when?Copy !req
618. If the hypothesis
doesn't fit the premise,Copy !req
619. isn't it more reasonable
to question the hypothesis?Copy !req
620. What hypothesis?Copy !req
621. That Mr. Shaeffer was going to
leave the country right away.Copy !req
622. Oh, that's not a hypothesis,
about Mr. Shaeffer leaving
the country, ma'am.Copy !req
623. That's a fact.Copy !req
624. Because he had
new clothes and a haircut?Copy !req
625. No, because of the insect bite
that Sergeant Miller thought
Mr. Shaeffer had on his arm.Copy !req
626. You see, it wasn't
an insect bite.Copy !req
627. Last year, my wife and I,
we went on a vacation
to the islandsCopy !req
628. and I had a mark
just like that on my arm.Copy !req
629. And you know what it was,
Miss Lytton?Copy !req
630. It was a vaccination.Copy !req
631. I see.Copy !req
632. All right, Lieutenant,
you proved your point,Copy !req
633. that Mr. Shaeffer was
going to leave the country.Copy !req
634. However, it doesn't mean
that he was going to leave
the country tonight.Copy !req
635. Now, don't forget
that, after the robbery,
he would be a wanted man.Copy !req
636. I would think that it would
be difficult for a wanted man
to shop, to get a vaccination.Copy !req
637. He would do everything first.Copy !req
638. And I think he would wear
the new clothes that he bought
if he liked them.Copy !req
639. Shaeffer couldn't have waited.
He was, in many ways,
a child-like man.Copy !req
640. I'm sure his brother
has told you that already.Copy !req
641. And so he had his luggage
and his passport stashedCopy !req
642. wherever he was
going to hole up and wait.Copy !req
643. Yeah, that would account
for everything, I guess.Copy !req
644. Well, maybe it's
the atmosphere.Copy !req
645. Maybe I'm trying to make
something mysterious out of
something that's open and shutCopy !req
646. just to sort of fit in
with this room.Copy !req
647. Shall we leave, Lieutenant?
It's getting dark now.Copy !req
648. We might as well.
Otherwise, I'd
sit here forever.Copy !req
649. I'll walk you home,
Miss Lytton.Copy !req
650. That's it.Copy !req
651. I beg your pardon?Copy !req
652. What you just said.Copy !req
653. I didn't say anything.Copy !req
654. You said
it was getting dark.Copy !req
655. It's nearly 7:00.Copy !req
656. That's what I mean, ma'am.Copy !req
657. By 8:00 it will be dark.Copy !req
658. Completely dark.Copy !req
659. That means it was dark
last night when...Copy !req
660. When it happened. Of course.Copy !req
661. But nothing in this room
had been touched, ma'am.Copy !req
662. Nothing had been touched.Copy !req
663. Don't you understand?Copy !req
664. Nothing.Copy !req
665. Don't you see?Copy !req
666. Miller wouldn't even let
anyone touch the light switchCopy !req
667. because I told him
to leave everything
just the way it was.Copy !req
668. That means the lights
were off last night.Copy !req
669. Only they
couldn't have been.Copy !req
670. It would be impossible
for two menCopy !req
671. to shoot and kill
each other in a dark room.Copy !req
672. Where is the light switch,
Miss Lytton?Copy !req
673. Right over here.Copy !req
674. That's it.Copy !req
675. That's what he did.Copy !req
676. He?Copy !req
677. Whoever murdered your brother
and Mr. Shaeffer.Copy !req
678. I'm afraid I don't quite
understand, Lieutenant.Copy !req
679. Why couldn't one of them
have turned the lights on?Copy !req
680. They could have.Copy !req
681. But after they were dead,
Miss Lytton,Copy !req
682. who turned them off?Copy !req
683. Do you have a Darryl here?Copy !req
684. Yes. Around the corner
and to the right.Copy !req
685. And with
all these things,Copy !req
686. you can just comb it
with the hands,
like that. You see?Copy !req
687. You don't need
to comb.Copy !req
688. No, just with your
fingers, that's all.
Just keep it casual.Copy !req
689. Excuse me.
Darryl?Copy !req
690. Here you are.
And I'll see you
in the next month, okay?Copy !req
691. Okay. Yeah.Copy !req
692. Excuse me, Darryl? Yes.Copy !req
693. A challenge,
but I'll do my best.
Sit, please, please.Copy !req
694. No. Actually, I just wanted
to ask you a few questions.Copy !req
695. Oh, don't sue.
Just wear a hat, and never
let him cut it again.Copy !req
696. No, sir...Copy !req
697. Is it that bad?Copy !req
698. Mmm-hmm, yes.Copy !req
699. Yes. And that's
all the questions
I have time for. Next!Copy !req
700. Cheryl, will you see what
I have in the book, please? Oh, sir.Copy !req
701. Excuse me just
one moment, sir. Check it again.Copy !req
702. Yes? Yes? Just one moment, sir.
My name is Lieutenant Columbo.Copy !req
703. Columbo? Mmm-hmm. I'm from Homicide. Yes.Copy !req
704. And I would like,
if possible, to ask you
a few questions about a...Copy !req
705. Are you joking,
Lieutenant?Copy !req
706. This is the middle
of a working day.Copy !req
707. Well, sir, if you don't
answer the questions here,Copy !req
708. I'm afraid
I'll have to take you down
to the Police Department.Copy !req
709. You see, this is
a murder case, sir.Copy !req
710. Fine. Arrest me. I'd be
disappointed in the police
if they didn't do that.Copy !req
711. If I don't lose a fortune,
cancel the day,
offend my customers,Copy !req
712. you're gonna take me
to the police headquarters.Copy !req
713. Well, go right ahead.
Arrest me. Do you have
the handcuffs with you?Copy !req
714. Why don't you handcuff me?
I'm surprised you don't
beat me unconsciousCopy !req
715. so you can carry me out
so I don't cause trouble.Copy !req
716. Now, sir... Isn't that correct?Copy !req
717. No. Look. How about
just a haircut?Copy !req
718. Haircut? Yes.Copy !req
719. That can be arranged.Copy !req
720. Sergeant?Copy !req
721. Yes, Lieutenant?Copy !req
722. Sergeant,
would you take my wallet
out of my back pocket?Copy !req
723. She told me
not to touch anything
until the polish hardens.Copy !req
724. On the left, there.Copy !req
725. Sergeant,
I've only got $5.Copy !req
726. If you could loan me $20,Copy !req
727. and I think
they'll expect a tip,
so give them 50 cents.Copy !req
728. Apiece?Copy !req
729. I'll leave that
to your own judgment,
Sergeant.Copy !req
730. In the meantime,
I'll be in the car.Copy !req
731. He came in just before
closing time on Saturday
and bought the watch.Copy !req
732. Very similar to yours.
Works the same.
Only the case is different.Copy !req
733. Well, my watch...
I was just wondering
if you knew about this.Copy !req
734. My watch
lost a day yesterday.Copy !req
735. I was wondering,
do you... No. It didn't lose a day.Copy !req
736. All calendar watches
are adjusted to have
a 31-day month.Copy !req
737. Now, last month had 30 days.Copy !req
738. Does your watch say the first
instead of the second?Copy !req
739. Yes, the first.Copy !req
740. Here. Give it to me.Copy !req
741. You see,
in a 30-day month,Copy !req
742. you have to turn your watch
24 hours ahead,Copy !req
743. or else it'll say the 31st
instead of the first.Copy !req
744. You have to
pass the 12 twice.Copy !req
745. This stem is very tight,
isn't it?Copy !req
746. Oh, yes. You know, I was
afraid to turn it at all.Copy !req
747. You see, I figured
anything that tight
wasn't supposed to move.Copy !req
748. Thank you very much
for trying to do that.Copy !req
749. Oh, that's all right.
I do it all day long.Copy !req
750. Showed Mr. Shaeffer
how to do it
for 20 minutes.Copy !req
751. It took me another 20 minutes
to explain it to him,Copy !req
752. with the manager
leaning on the door.Copy !req
753. Finally, I told him
I'd be glad to turn it
a day ahead for him then.Copy !req
754. But he said,
"No, if you're gonna have
a calendar watch,Copy !req
755. you might as well
have the right day."Copy !req
756. There you go, Lieutenant.
All set.Copy !req
757. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
758. And thank you very much
for your cooperation.Copy !req
759. Not at all.Copy !req
760. Oh, incidentally,
I like your hair.Copy !req
761. Darryl?Copy !req
762. Uh, yes.Copy !req
763. Thought so.Copy !req
764. Yeah.Copy !req
765. Hi, Miss Lytton.Copy !req
766. Lieutenant. You look
in high spirits.Copy !req
767. Oh, I am, Miss Lytton.
I am.Copy !req
768. It turns out we may
be right after all.Copy !req
769. Shaeffer told everybody
that he was leaving for
the islands the next day.Copy !req
770. Is it part of your job
to trip people up?
Or to see if you can?Copy !req
771. Trip people up?Copy !req
772. Trip people up.Copy !req
773. We never thought
that Mr. Shaeffer was
leaving the next day.Copy !req
774. You may recall
I thought exactly
the opposite.Copy !req
775. Gee, I forgot about that.
I get confused sometimes,
you know?Copy !req
776. I mean, just trying to keep
all the facts straight
in my head.Copy !req
777. Lieutenant, you must
never underestimate me.Copy !req
778. Nor I you.Copy !req
779. I don't in the least mind
you playing tricks,Copy !req
780. but you're going to have to be
a little cleverer, aren't you?Copy !req
781. I knew yesterday
that you were going to have
to interrogate us, all of us,Copy !req
782. because we are, all of us,
of course, under suspicion.Copy !req
783. You have to be suspicious.Copy !req
784. That's part of your job.Copy !req
785. Well, I have to ask questions,
if that's what you mean.Copy !req
786. I wouldn't say
that I was suspicious.Copy !req
787. Your delicacy
does you credit.Copy !req
788. You'd best save it
for my sister.Copy !req
789. I'm afraid
you're going to need it.Copy !req
790. She won't faint again,
will she?Copy !req
791. I know it's...Copy !req
792. I know it's
a very bad time
for you, Mrs. Brandt.Copy !req
793. No, go ahead.
It's all right.
I can take it.Copy !req
794. God help me.Copy !req
795. Well, nothing
that bad.Copy !req
796. I mean, I'm just gonna
ask a few questions.Copy !req
797. Oh, God!
It was all so awful.Copy !req
798. Maybe I should come back
another time.Copy !req
799. No. I can't give in
like this. I can't.Copy !req
800. I'm not what I seem
to be, Lieutenant.Copy !req
801. I'm not made of lace.Copy !req
802. Never was.Copy !req
803. When I was a girl,Copy !req
804. people used to say
I got my own way
about everythingCopy !req
805. because I was
lovely-looking.Copy !req
806. Perhaps so, but that
wasn't the only reason.Copy !req
807. I had strength then.Copy !req
808. I have it still.Copy !req
809. I must be strong now.Copy !req
810. 'Cause that's the way
he would have wanted it.Copy !req
811. All right, Lieutenant.
Examine me.Copy !req
812. No, no, look, Mrs. Brandt,
it's a very tragic thing.Copy !req
813. If you ever feel faint while
I'm asking you questions,Copy !req
814. you'll let me know.Copy !req
815. I mean, the last thing
I wanna do is upset you.Copy !req
816. Oh! Oh!I'm sorry, I'm sorry.Copy !req
817. Well, thank you,
Mrs. Brandt.Copy !req
818. That's all the questions
for today.Copy !req
819. Thank you.Copy !req
820. Yes?Copy !req
821. Are you all right?Copy !req
822. Sure. Are you?Copy !req
823. Fine, considering.Copy !req
824. You better put
a robe on or something.Copy !req
825. Lieutenant Columbo is here
to ask some questions.Copy !req
826. Hell of a thing.
Makes you grow up
kind of fast.Copy !req
827. Yes. Yes.
Death does do that.Copy !req
828. My father's didn't.Copy !req
829. I don't remember
very much
about his death.Copy !req
830. No reason you should.
You were very small.Copy !req
831. I wonder why Mother
never remarried.Copy !req
832. You know,
this is the first time
I ever wondered that?Copy !req
833. She didn't fall
in love, I expect.Copy !req
834. Love? Mother?Copy !req
835. You protect her
when you're talking to me,Copy !req
836. the same way you protect me
when you're talking to her.Copy !req
837. You protect everybody.Copy !req
838. Excuse me, I don't mean
to intrude or anything.Copy !req
839. You're not intruding,
Lieutenant. Come in.Copy !req
840. I just dropped by
on the way to my roomCopy !req
841. to see if Janie
was all right.Copy !req
842. Excuse me.Copy !req
843. I wonder if I could just
ask you a couple of things,
Miss Janie?Copy !req
844. Janie will do.Copy !req
845. Sure, why not?Copy !req
846. Nothing personal
or anything. I mean,
it's just routine, you know.Copy !req
847. I'm supposed
to ask questions.Copy !req
848. You want to know
where I was at the time
of the murder, right?Copy !req
849. Yes.Copy !req
850. I was with a loverCopy !req
851. and I won't give his name
unless it becomes
absolutely necessary.Copy !req
852. Right.Copy !req
853. Well, then,Copy !req
854. thank you.Copy !req
855. Excuse me.Copy !req
856. Gee, I'm sorry.Copy !req
857. I knocked twice.
I really did.Copy !req
858. I was in the kitchen
the whole time.Copy !req
859. Oh, boy! Thanks.Copy !req
860. Well, you've got some family,
Miss Lytton.Copy !req
861. Everybody thinks
I'm getting ready
to arrest them.Copy !req
862. Everybody but me.Copy !req
863. Yes, it's a relief,
talking to you.Copy !req
864. I was beginning
to feel like a policeman.Copy !req
865. You are a policeman,
and a good one.Copy !req
866. You say a thing
when you're ready to say it
and not before.Copy !req
867. You know how to keep a secret.Copy !req
868. What kind of secret?Copy !req
869. I just know that you have one.Copy !req
870. I know the look.Copy !req
871. My brother-in-law had
that look the day he died.Copy !req
872. Does Janie know
that you and her father
were once engaged?Copy !req
873. Of course.
I have no secrets from Janie.Copy !req
874. None?Copy !req
875. Only one.Copy !req
876. I gather that you've been
reading old society columns
and birth certificates.Copy !req
877. I became curious
when you told me
about Peter Brandt.Copy !req
878. Lieutenant, that is
a part of my life that
I don't discuss with anyone,Copy !req
879. and I don't feel
that I know you well enough
to discuss it with you now.Copy !req
880. None of my business.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
881. Oh, by the way, I do have
one little problem,
Miss Lytton.Copy !req
882. It's about the alibis.Copy !req
883. Aren't you satisfied
that we were all
telling the truthCopy !req
884. about where we were
at the time of the murders?Copy !req
885. The problem is,Copy !req
886. the murders didn't
take place at 9:00.Copy !req
887. I thought you said
that Mr. Shaeffer
made a phone callCopy !req
888. into an answering machine
on a tape,Copy !req
889. and that he
mentioned the time.Copy !req
890. He did.Copy !req
891. He was lying.Copy !req
892. I understand the note
that Mr. Shaeffer had now.Copy !req
893. The one that said,
"Turn ahead twice
at midnight."Copy !req
894. I have no idea
what you're talking about.Copy !req
895. Mr. Shaeffer had
a calendar watch
like mine.Copy !req
896. It has to be set
to May 1st by hand.Copy !req
897. In order to do that,
you have toCopy !req
898. turn it past the 12 twice
after midnight.Copy !req
899. Mr. Shaeffer's watch
had been set to May 1st.Copy !req
900. That means he was probably
still alive at midnight.Copy !req
901. How can you be sure of that?Copy !req
902. The salesman
where he bought the watchCopy !req
903. said that he explained
how it worked to Mr. Shaeffer
for 20 minutesCopy !req
904. because Mr. Shaeffer said,Copy !req
905. "If you're gonna have
a calendar watch, you might
as well have the right day."Copy !req
906. And in order to have
the right day,Copy !req
907. he would have to
turn the watch twice
right after midnight,Copy !req
908. just as the note said.Copy !req
909. How brilliant
you are, Lieutenant.Copy !req
910. Tell me,
why would he lie?Copy !req
911. Why would he want
everyone to believe that
it was earlier than it was?Copy !req
912. That's what I can't
figure out, ma'am.Copy !req
913. Unless...Copy !req
914. Unless somebody
told him to.Copy !req
915. Yes, but why would somebody
tell him to, ma'am?Copy !req
916. Lieutenant, I do wish
you would stop trying
to trip me up.Copy !req
917. You know the answer to that.
You just said it yourself.Copy !req
918. At 9:00 everyone had an alibi.Copy !req
919. But even if you're right
and somebody told him
to do it, why did he listen?Copy !req
920. I mean, why provide
somebody with an alibi,
time and all,Copy !req
921. by pretending to die?Copy !req
922. Obviously, he didn't think
it was an alibi,Copy !req
923. because he didn't think
he was going to die.Copy !req
924. Since Edward
didn't shoot him,Copy !req
925. someone else must have
made an arrangement with him.Copy !req
926. Someone who wanted him dead
and who wanted an alibi.Copy !req
927. Suppose they planned
the robbery together,Copy !req
928. Mr. Shaeffer and the man
who shot him,Copy !req
929. and all Shaeffer
was planning to doCopy !req
930. was to leave the country
with some antique gold jewelry
worth quite a lot of money.Copy !req
931. But, then, let's say
that the cohort shot him,Copy !req
932. Edward heard the noise,
came downstairs,Copy !req
933. and then, of course,
Edward had to be killed, too.Copy !req
934. Yes.Copy !req
935. That must have been very close
to the way it happened.Copy !req
936. Cake?Copy !req
937. No, thank you.
Well, maybe. Thanks.Copy !req
938. Hey, they look delicious.Copy !req
939. Lieutenant,
I better tell you something
before you find out yourself.Copy !req
940. There's an artifact
missing from the museum.Copy !req
941. What kind
of an artifact?Copy !req
942. It's gold.Copy !req
943. It's a small,
rectangular piece
with carved stripes on it.Copy !req
944. It's worth
quite a lot of money.Copy !req
945. It's been missing
about two weeks.Copy !req
946. Did you report it
to the insurance company?Copy !req
947. No, no. Edward
didn't want me to.Copy !req
948. Why not, ma'am?Copy !req
949. Well, he said
he knew who had taken itCopy !req
950. and he preferred to take care
of the matter himself.Copy !req
951. Did he tell you who?Copy !req
952. No. Edward was
a very stern man.Copy !req
953. He wasn't given to
emotional outbursts
any more than I am.Copy !req
954. Except this one time,Copy !req
955. two weeks ago,
about the artifact.Copy !req
956. I told him that I was going
to report it no matter what,Copy !req
957. and I thought
he was going to strike me.Copy !req
958. He went into a rage.Copy !req
959. Who else had access?Copy !req
960. I did.Copy !req
961. Yes, but who else,
Miss Lytton?Copy !req
962. No one.Copy !req
963. No one at all?Copy !req
964. Not to my knowledge.Copy !req
965. Miss Lytton, Janie's friend,
the man that she was with
at 9:00,Copy !req
966. that was Mr. Shaeffer's
brother, wasn't it?Copy !req
967. Why would you say that?Copy !req
968. You must have known
that Janie hired
Mr. ShaefferCopy !req
969. because he was
her lover's brother.Copy !req
970. And Janie has no money
of her own.Copy !req
971. And it must have
occurred to youCopy !req
972. that it was Janie
that your brother
was furious at.Copy !req
973. And that Janie knew it.Copy !req
974. No! No! I swear!Copy !req
975. I don't believe it.
I swear to you, Lieutenant.Copy !req
976. Lieutenant,
I'm telling you the truth.Copy !req
977. I don't believe it.
I don't believe it.Copy !req
978. I don't believe
that Janie did it.Copy !req
979. A search warrant!Copy !req
980. I have never been
so insulted. Never.Copy !req
981. What's it
look like?Copy !req
982. I'm sorry, Mrs. Brandt.
I thought the investigation
warranted it.Copy !req
983. I'll have you
disbarred for this.Copy !req
984. Or whatever the hell
that word is.Copy !req
985. Yes, ma'am.
"Fired," I think,
is the word you want.Copy !req
986. Worse than that.
You'll never get another job,Copy !req
987. not in this city,
not in this state,Copy !req
988. not in any police force
in the country.Copy !req
989. I am not
without certain influence,
Lieutenant Columbus.Copy !req
990. Lieutenant Columbo,
can I see you a moment?Copy !req
991. I found this dish
in her room,
hidden on a shelf.Copy !req
992. That's it.Copy !req
993. That's motive,
means and opportunity.Copy !req
994. I guess it is, Miller.Copy !req
995. Book her.Copy !req
996. Sergeant,
you will not
get away with this.Copy !req
997. I am not the weak,
fragile creature
that I appear to be.Copy !req
998. Somewhere,
somewhere inside,
I am strong.Copy !req
999. Miss Jane Brandt,Copy !req
1000. I am arresting you
for the double murder
of your uncle, Edward Lytton,Copy !req
1001. and Milton Shaeffer.Copy !req
1002. Now, you have the right
to remain silent...Copy !req
1003. Strong!Copy !req
1004. Same period.Copy !req
1005. Necklace. Gold and cloisonné.Copy !req
1006. With pendants.
Same period or slightly later.Copy !req
1007. Knife scabbard,
gold-encrusted.Copy !req
1008. Lieutenant? Knife scabbard.Copy !req
1009. Lieutenant? Gold...Copy !req
1010. I'll bet you don't know
the differenceCopy !req
1011. between ByzantineCopy !req
1012. and the Renaissance.Copy !req
1013. You've been listening
to those tapes for over
seven hours, Lieutenant.Copy !req
1014. You see, the Middle Ages
weren't as darkCopy !req
1015. as everybody thought
they were...Copy !req
1016. Lieutenant. ... or the Renaissance
as light.Copy !req
1017. Now, the French Renaissance
jewelry, some of it,Copy !req
1018. wasn't as garish
as the Turks' and the Arabs'.Copy !req
1019. Garish?Copy !req
1020. That's a good word, isn't it?Copy !req
1021. Yes, sir,
I've always liked it.Copy !req
1022. You know, it's funny.Copy !req
1023. Listening to Lytton's
voice on the inventory tapesCopy !req
1024. and then
listening to Shaeffer's
on the answering machine,Copy !req
1025. both of them dead,Copy !req
1026. and both of them, you know,Copy !req
1027. like they were trying
to tell you...Copy !req
1028. Seven hours is a long time
in a room like this.Copy !req
1029. I just wanna hear
this tape again.Copy !req
1030. What is it I can't hear?Copy !req
1031. jewel-encrusted...Copy !req
1032. How you feeling, Janie?Copy !req
1033. I brought you some stuff
to nibble on.Copy !req
1034. Food here's
not too good, is it?Copy !req
1035. And some cigarettes.Copy !req
1036. Figured you might run out.Copy !req
1037. There.Copy !req
1038. Plenty of ketchup.Copy !req
1039. Smoke?Copy !req
1040. Mad at me, huh?Copy !req
1041. That cheeseburger's
nice and hot.
I just picked it up.Copy !req
1042. Had them put everything on it.
Don't know if you like onions
or not. Do you?Copy !req
1043. No.Copy !req
1044. Okay, okay.Copy !req
1045. Do you recognize it
or not?Copy !req
1046. Yes.Copy !req
1047. It's the briefcase
that Shaeffer used
in the robbery.Copy !req
1048. How do you know?Copy !req
1049. It was on the floor
next to the body.Copy !req
1050. He was still holding it.Copy !req
1051. Gee, you're a pretty
observant person, huh?Copy !req
1052. You only saw it
that one time?Copy !req
1053. No. Of course not.Copy !req
1054. I saw it when I arranged
the robbery with Shaeffer,Copy !req
1055. and I saw it again
when I killed him
and Uncle Edward.Copy !req
1056. Is that true?Copy !req
1057. You think it is,
so what's the difference?Copy !req
1058. It's gonna make
a difference in court
if you talk like that.Copy !req
1059. I'm not in court now.Copy !req
1060. Janie, I'd like
to help you.Copy !req
1061. Is that why you brought
all this stuff?Copy !req
1062. Just to see
whether I'd have a reaction
to the briefcase or not?Copy !req
1063. Very smart.
You proved your point.Copy !req
1064. I would appreciate it
if you'd go now.Copy !req
1065. Why did your mother
marry your father?Copy !req
1066. She was in love
with him, I guess.Copy !req
1067. Is that true?Copy !req
1068. I wasn't alive then.Copy !req
1069. Well, that's open
to question, isn't it?Copy !req
1070. I don't understand
what this has to do
with anything.Copy !req
1071. Now, you don't have to answer
any of my questions without
a lawyer unless you want to.Copy !req
1072. But I think the truth is this.Copy !req
1073. Your mother went off
with your Aunt Ruth's
boyfriend.Copy !req
1074. They eloped
on a Thursday.Copy !req
1075. It was June 28th,
and they didn't come back
until after you were born.Copy !req
1076. And you were
born on December 27th,
two days after Christmas.Copy !req
1077. What is that?Copy !req
1078. That's a copy
of your birth certificate.
It's on file in Sacramento.Copy !req
1079. It means that Mrs. Brandt
was three months pregnant
when they eloped.Copy !req
1080. Did you know that,
or didn't you?Copy !req
1081. Lieutenant, what happened then
is nobody's business anymoreCopy !req
1082. except for my mother's
and my Aunt Ruth's.Copy !req
1083. If I never talked
to them about it,Copy !req
1084. why should I talk to you?Copy !req
1085. You love your Aunt Ruth
a lot, don't you?Copy !req
1086. More than your mother.Copy !req
1087. Maybe more than anybody.
You wouldn't like to see her
get hurt, would you?Copy !req
1088. She must have been
hurt plenty back then.Copy !req
1089. Enough so that she got left
without anything, right?Copy !req
1090. Anything but the museum,
that is.Copy !req
1091. What do you want?Copy !req
1092. You were only seven
when your father died.Copy !req
1093. He died of a heart attack,
didn't he?Copy !req
1094. That's what
the coroner's report said.Copy !req
1095. That he'd had
two heart attacks,Copy !req
1096. that he was under
a doctor's care,Copy !req
1097. and there was no autopsy.Copy !req
1098. Your Aunt Ruth said that
your mother wouldn't
hear of it.Copy !req
1099. And the doctor probably
didn't see any reason
for an autopsy anyway.Copy !req
1100. How can you be so positive
about all that?Copy !req
1101. When I saw your Aunt Ruth
the other day,Copy !req
1102. she began talking
about your father
and his death.Copy !req
1103. Your Uncle Edward's death
reminded her of it.Copy !req
1104. So? Death always
reminds you of death.Copy !req
1105. Right. And murder
reminds you of murder.Copy !req
1106. Even when you don't know it,
you begin to think it.Copy !req
1107. I don't know what you mean.Copy !req
1108. Don't you?Copy !req
1109. He died of a heart attack.
Everyone knows that.Copy !req
1110. Heart attacks can be
made to happen in a lot
of different ways, Janie.Copy !req
1111. Do you know that digitalis
and quinidine can have
a reverse effectCopy !req
1112. if the dose is too high?Copy !req
1113. And it needn't even be
that high a dose
if a man has a weak heart.Copy !req
1114. The coroner's report
on your father said
that his condition was bad,Copy !req
1115. and that he had other
minor complications.Copy !req
1116. Not big ones.Copy !req
1117. Little ones
that the doctor knew about,Copy !req
1118. and your Aunt Ruth knew about
because she was nursing him.Copy !req
1119. He had asthma,Copy !req
1120. he was susceptible
to infection,Copy !req
1121. it's why he had a bad cold
the week that he died.Copy !req
1122. So what?Copy !req
1123. So she probably gave him
a lot of chamomile tea.Copy !req
1124. It was a lovely
funeral service.Copy !req
1125. Lovely.Copy !req
1126. I can't think why
you left early, Ruth.Copy !req
1127. I didn't.
You left late.Copy !req
1128. Well, if I've
told you once,Copy !req
1129. I've told you
a thousand times.Copy !req
1130. I don't leave a room
unless I have a man's arm
to support me.Copy !req
1131. Especially not after
an experience like this.Copy !req
1132. I just know everything's gonna
be all right with Janie.Copy !req
1133. I know it.Copy !req
1134. Cathy, for heaven's sake,
will you stop shaking?
You'll spill the gravy.Copy !req
1135. My God.Copy !req
1136. Sorry, ma'am.Copy !req
1137. It's all right, Cathy.
I'll get the door.Copy !req
1138. Sorry, ma'am.Copy !req
1139. Aunt Ruth, please
don't listen to him.Copy !req
1140. Please don't listen
to what he's gonna say.Copy !req
1141. It's all right, Janie.
It's all right.Copy !req
1142. Come in, Lieutenant.Copy !req
1143. But you don't know
what he's gonna say.Copy !req
1144. It doesn't matter.
It's all right.Copy !req
1145. Come.Copy !req
1146. Jane! Oh, my God.Copy !req
1147. Mother, please
don't faint.
It's all right.Copy !req
1148. Have you come here
to torture us again,
Lieutenant?Copy !req
1149. Haven't you
done enough?Copy !req
1150. I'm releasing your niece
in my cognizance, Miss Lytton.Copy !req
1151. Releasing her?Copy !req
1152. That's right.Copy !req
1153. I don't think
she killed anybodyCopy !req
1154. and I don't think
she stole this, either.Copy !req
1155. She's been using it
all afternoon as an ashtray.Copy !req
1156. She doesn't even know
what it is.Copy !req
1157. What is it?Copy !req
1158. Janie, for
heaven's sake!Copy !req
1159. Your aunt's been
teaching you Byzantine art
for three months.Copy !req
1160. Don't you know?Copy !req
1161. No, she doesn't.Copy !req
1162. And she doesn't even know
how we happened
to be looking for it.Copy !req
1163. And she doesn't know
how we knewCopy !req
1164. that it was missing
for two weeks
before the murder.Copy !req
1165. He thinks that you killed
my father, Aunt Ruth.Copy !req
1166. What?Copy !req
1167. He thinks
that you hated him.Copy !req
1168. He thinks that you hated
all of us so much
that you killed him.Copy !req
1169. He doesn't know
how much you love us.Copy !req
1170. He doesn't know
how you've kept
the family together.Copy !req
1171. You never would
have tried to do thisCopy !req
1172. if you knew
how much my Aunt Ruth
has done for us.Copy !req
1173. How much she's done
for me.Copy !req
1174. All I've got is
a tape recording.Copy !req
1175. I don't think it's enough
to convict you.Copy !req
1176. It's your brother's voice.
It's from the inventory
that he was taking.Copy !req
1177. This tape is dated
April 30th.Copy !req
1178. Miniature incised gold piece,
Bronze Age. One inch square.Copy !req
1179. Miniature halberd,
same period.Copy !req
1180. Inch and a half.Copy !req
1181. Gold-mounted button,
green, same period.Copy !req
1182. Gold beaker, same period.
Six inches.Copy !req
1183. Halberd, one inch square,
miniature.Copy !req
1184. Large gold belt buckle,
Bronze Age.Copy !req
1185. Three and a half
by five inches.Copy !req
1186. I wanna hear
that last item again.Copy !req
1187. Large gold belt buckle...Copy !req
1188. LargeCopy !req
1189. goldCopy !req
1190. belt buckle.Copy !req
1191. That's it, Miss Lytton.Copy !req
1192. Sergeant Miller and I,
we thought it was a dish.Copy !req
1193. We were wrong.
It wasn't a dish.Copy !req
1194. It was a gold belt buckle.Copy !req
1195. And it was there
the night that Edward died.Copy !req
1196. It was never missing at all.Copy !req
1197. Lieutenant, I don't know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
1198. And you never will,
Mrs. Brandt, unless
this case goes to trial.Copy !req
1199. And then
it will all come out.Copy !req
1200. What your brother said to you
about something being missing.Copy !req
1201. And what you said to me.Copy !req
1202. Janie,Copy !req
1203. it wasn't true
what he told you about
my killing your father.Copy !req
1204. Was it, Lieutenant?Copy !req
1205. You lied about that,
didn't you?Copy !req
1206. Tell her
it wasn't true.Copy !req
1207. Tell her.Copy !req
1208. It was all such
a long time ago.Copy !req
1209. It couldn't matter
to anyone anymore.Copy !req
1210. Only to Janie.Copy !req
1211. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
1212. It wasn't true.Copy !req
1213. I lied about that.Copy !req
1214. It won't be necessary to use
the tapes as evidence,
Lieutenant.Copy !req
1215. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
1216. Lieutenant,Copy !req
1217. may I take your arm?Copy !req
1218. It's my pleasure,
Miss Lytton.Copy !req