1. If you're hiding something
and you want
to tell it to me...
Copy !req
2. I'm here to listen.
Copy !req
3. But he was guilty
of negligence...
Copy !req
4. and his carelessness
cost a man's life.
Copy !req
5. He is going to be
severely disciplined.
Copy !req
6. You know,
it's going to be a ball
throwing you out of here.
Copy !req
7. Your coed school
hasn't arrived yet.
Copy !req
8. You may be charged
with murder.
Copy !req
9. Anything else
I can do for you?
Copy !req
10. I'd love
a fresh pair of socks.
Copy !req
11. Where are you staying?
Copy !req
12. Pershing Hall.
Copy !req
13. Up and at 'em, trooper.
Let's get with the program.
Copy !req
14. Everybody up!
Copy !req
15. Everybody up!
Let's go!
Copy !req
16. Yes?
Copy !req
17. Reveille, sir.
Copy !req
18. Boodle Boy reporting
with morning coffee, sir.
Copy !req
19. Come in.
Copy !req
20. Cook hopes the coffee
is strong enough
and to your liking, sir.
Copy !req
21. Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
22. Um, Miller, isn't it?
Copy !req
23. Jonathan B.?
Copy !req
24. Yes, sir.
It will be my pleasure
to serve the Colonel...
Copy !req
25. as Boodle Boy
for the next duty period, sir.
Copy !req
26. Some problems
with geometry, Miller?
Copy !req
27. Yes, sir, but my grades
are better this quarter, sir.
Copy !req
28. Work on them, Miller.
Copy !req
29. Geometry is logic.
Copy !req
30. And logic
is the battlefield
of adulthood.
Copy !req
31. Yes, sir. Dismissed.
Copy !req
32. Thank you, sir.
Copy !req
33. Miller!
Copy !req
34. Sir?
Copy !req
35. What is today, Miller?
Copy !req
36. Sunday, sir.
I mean Founder's Day, sir.
Copy !req
37. A very special day,
wouldn't you say?
Copy !req
38. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
39. Then how do you explain
those shoes, Miller?
Copy !req
40. Those shoes are a disgrace.
Copy !req
41. Following this morning's
ceremonies...
Copy !req
42. you will report
to my office
for discipline.
Copy !req
43. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
44. Dismissed.
Copy !req
45. Good morning, Colonel.
One moment, please.
Copy !req
46. Have Captain Loomis report
to my office immediately.
Copy !req
47. I believe he's in charge
of color detail, sir.
Copy !req
48. Oh, yes. In that case,
immediately after
the ceremonies.
Copy !req
49. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
50. The ceremonies commence
at 10:00 am. Thank you.
Copy !req
51. Naturally, our guest of honor
from Phoenix will be late.
Copy !req
52. Naturally.
Copy !req
53. Find it difficult
to understand that
only two generations...
Copy !req
54. separate the founder
of this academy from
Mr. William Haynes.
Copy !req
55. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
56. Let me know
when he arrives.
Copy !req
57. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
58. Colonel in?
Copy !req
59. He's on the phone,
Mr. Haynes.
Copy !req
60. Would you care
to wait out here?
Copy !req
61. No, thank you, love.
Copy !req
62. Have it ready.
Copy !req
63. I'll be over to check,
thank you.
Copy !req
64. Nice to see you again,
William.
Copy !req
65. Colonel.
Copy !req
66. Have a good trip?
Copy !req
67. Let's skip the amenities,
Colonel.
Copy !req
68. You called again last week.
Copy !req
69. You asked me
to think it over carefully.
Copy !req
70. I have.
Copy !req
71. Beginning with
the fall term...
Copy !req
72. Haynes Academy becomes
a coed junior college.
Copy !req
73. I see.
Copy !req
74. I wonder
if you really do, Rumford.
Copy !req
75. This academy can handle
6,000 boys.
Copy !req
76. This year the enrollment's
barely 1,100.
Copy !req
77. We've lowered
our so-called standards,
and still they stay away.
Copy !req
78. The truth is...
Copy !req
79. nobody wants
to play soldier anymore.
Copy !req
80. The war's over.
Copy !req
81. It's never over, William.
Copy !req
82. There are too many people set
on destroying our country.
Copy !req
83. And that is why institutions
like this academy...
Copy !req
84. cannot be allowed to die.
Copy !req
85. You know the incredible thing
about you, Rumford?
Copy !req
86. You really believe
those clichés.
Copy !req
87. What do you believe in,
William?
Copy !req
88. That plastic world
of advertising
that you fit into so snugly?
Copy !req
89. It is people like you,
William...
Copy !req
90. that have made our country
a moral junkyard.
Copy !req
91. It's no secret, Rumford...
Copy !req
92. I don't like you.
Copy !req
93. I didn't like you
when I was here
as a cadet.
Copy !req
94. I can understand
your bitterness, William.
Copy !req
95. You were a poor cadet.
You lacked character.
Copy !req
96. In fact,
you lacked every quality...
Copy !req
97. that made your grandfather
a great man.
Copy !req
98. You still do.
Copy !req
99. You know,
it's going to be a ball
throwing you out of here.
Copy !req
100. Your coed school
hasn't arrived yet, William.
Copy !req
101. What the hell are you
going to do about it?
Copy !req
102. The board of trustees doesn't
give a damn about your opinion
any more than I do.
Copy !req
103. Just a moment, William.
I'll be right back.
Copy !req
104. What's the matter,
Colonel?
Copy !req
105. You always have an answer
for everything.
Copy !req
106. Miss Brady, would you
file this for me, please?
Copy !req
107. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
108. You know, William...
Copy !req
109. you remind me of a story
about Stonewall Jackson...
Copy !req
110. when he had to dismiss
an incompetent from his staff,
and he said:
Copy !req
111. "Here is a man
so lacking in leadership...
Copy !req
112. "that he can accomplish
nothing unless he is led
by the hand like a child."
Copy !req
113. What's your point,
Rumford?
Copy !req
114. You think I can't
get along here
without you?
Copy !req
115. I don't think you'll be able
to find your way
to the latrine...
Copy !req
116. without my help.
Copy !req
117. You're sick.
Copy !req
118. You're really sick!
Copy !req
119. You're so used
to playing God...
Copy !req
120. you figure nothing's going
to work without you.
Copy !req
121. You've been an honored guest
at Founder's Day every year
for the past seven years...
Copy !req
122. but I think you don't deserve
to be on the premises.
Copy !req
123. You couldn't find
the parade grounds
without my help, William.
Copy !req
124. Who in the hell needs you
for anything?
Copy !req
125. And now I suppose...
Copy !req
126. you'll want to preside
at today's ceremonies?
Copy !req
127. You're damn right I do.
Copy !req
128. You're finished anyway,
so it might as well
end right now.
Copy !req
129. Oh, I don't have
to take that, William.
Do as you please.
Copy !req
130. But I would prefer
that Captain Loomis presided.
Copy !req
131. Not a chance.
Copy !req
132. Miss Brady...
Copy !req
133. kindly inform
Captain Loomis...
Copy !req
134. that Mr. Haynes
will be presiding over
the ceremonies today.
Copy !req
135. Looks like the great warrior
can dish it out,
but he can't take it.
Copy !req
136. That was a French
75 millimeter.
Copy !req
137. Maybe 50 years old.
World War I.
Copy !req
138. And you say
it's fired every day?
Copy !req
139. At sundown.
Copy !req
140. I guess it was
just a matter of time.
Copy !req
141. What's that, Captain?
Copy !req
142. An old gun like that.
Something like this
was bound to happen.
Copy !req
143. Tragedy.
Copy !req
144. Nobody's fault, Colonel.
The old gun just gave out.
Copy !req
145. It was an accident,
pure and simple.
Copy !req
146. Hey, Corso.
Copy !req
147. Excuse me.
Copy !req
148. Hey, you, mister!
Copy !req
149. You better hand
that over to the police.
Copy !req
150. I'm gonna do that, sir.
Copy !req
151. This is
a restricted area.
Copy !req
152. You better leave.
Copy !req
153. Officer.
Copy !req
154. You may wish
to detain this man.
Copy !req
155. He refuses
to leave the area.
Copy !req
156. This man is
Lieutenant Columbo, sir.
Copy !req
157. He's in charge
of the investigation.
Copy !req
158. Is he? Yes, sir.
Copy !req
159. Lieutenant.
Copy !req
160. Lieutenant,
this is Colonel Rumford...
Copy !req
161. commandant of the academy.
Copy !req
162. How do you do?
Copy !req
163. How do you do?
Copy !req
164. Colonel Rumford, sir. Morgan.
Copy !req
165. The chaplain has
asked me to tell you...
Copy !req
166. that all the men
are assembled in chapel
as ordered, sir.
Copy !req
167. Very well.
Copy !req
168. We located the victim's car.
Here's the keys.
Copy !req
169. Thank you. Through there.
Copy !req
170. Great.
Copy !req
171. Can you believe it?
Copy !req
172. Getting calls all the way
out in Westlake...
Copy !req
173. wondering about
that noise.
Copy !req
174. It must have been
pretty loud, huh?
Copy !req
175. Of course, it was loud.
The gun did blow up.
Copy !req
176. Well, no more
to do around here.
Copy !req
177. Damned shame about Haynes.
Copy !req
178. I remember him,
nice fella.
Copy !req
179. You fellows
gonna wrap it up?
Copy !req
180. What's to wrap up?
Copy !req
181. I do this,
and we're finished.
Copy !req
182. What's he up to?
Copy !req
183. Would you
excuse me a minute?
Copy !req
184. Attention!
Copy !req
185. Seated!
Copy !req
186. Mr. William Haynes
is dead, gentlemen.
Copy !req
187. The last of
a proud line of patriots.
Copy !req
188. A man who deeply loved
this academy...
Copy !req
189. and everything
that it stands for.
Copy !req
190. I shall miss him,
as I know you will.
Copy !req
191. But we must not allow
this tragic accident...
Copy !req
192. to divert us
from our purpose.
Copy !req
193. We must be certain...
Copy !req
194. that his untimely death...
Copy !req
195. will spur us all...
Copy !req
196. to greater determination
and dedication.
Copy !req
197. The rest of today's activities
are cancelled.
Copy !req
198. The chaplain will now
lead you in prayer.
Copy !req
199. Gentleman, please rise.
Copy !req
200. Let us pray.
Copy !req
201. Oh, merciful God...
Copy !req
202. thou who art the Creator...
Copy !req
203. and Sustainer
of the universe...
Copy !req
204. strengthen us
as we stand...
Copy !req
205. Excuse me,
for interrupting, sir.
Copy !req
206. Yes, what is it?
Copy !req
207. I just want to ask
one question.
Copy !req
208. Sir, when you fire
a cannon during
a ceremonial occasion...
Copy !req
209. I know that you don't use
a regular charge.
Copy !req
210. You use a...
Copy !req
211. A blank charge.
Copy !req
212. What is in
a blank charge, sir?
Copy !req
213. Sodium nitrate
and cotton wadding.
Copy !req
214. Cotton wadding?
Copy !req
215. in the name of
the Father...
Copy !req
216. and of the Son...
Copy !req
217. and of the Holy Spirit.
Copy !req
218. Amen.
Copy !req
219. I found this darn
little hair out there.
Copy !req
220. Hair?
Copy !req
221. Yeah, I found this...
Copy !req
222. Actually it's not a hair,
I called it a hair
because it's so thin.
Copy !req
223. Actually, it's a...
Well, I got it right here.
Copy !req
224. Gentlemen, this concludes
our service.
Copy !req
225. Actually,
it's a thread.
Copy !req
226. You see that?
That's thread.
Copy !req
227. I didn't know
what this thing was doing
in the cannon, you see.
Copy !req
228. That's why I kept
looking around out there.
You saw me.
Copy !req
229. You must've thought... Excuse me a moment, please.
Copy !req
230. I was crazy. Chaplain.
Copy !req
231. Very nice service.
Thank you.
Copy !req
232. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
233. What was it?
Copy !req
234. Well, that's what
I was trying to find out...
Copy !req
235. and I kept on looking,
and, you know, I found this.
Copy !req
236. See this little
piece of material, huh?
Copy !req
237. Since I didn't know
what this was doin'
in the cannon either...
Copy !req
238. so I kept on looking and...
Copy !req
239. I found...
Copy !req
240. I got it
here somewhere.
Copy !req
241. You won't believe
where I found this.
Copy !req
242. This was underneath
the patrol car.
Copy !req
243. Cop pulled away,
and there it was.
Copy !req
244. This piece of cloth.
Copy !req
245. So I get from the hair
to this piece of cloth...
Copy !req
246. and then I figure,
well, maybe this is part
of a ceremonial charge.
Copy !req
247. But now you tell me
you use cotton wadding,
so I don't know what it is.
Copy !req
248. Do you know
what this is, sir? No idea.
Copy !req
249. Doesn't look like
clothing to me.
Copy !req
250. Awfully big
for a handkerchief.
Copy !req
251. Well...
Copy !req
252. let me ask you something.
Copy !req
253. Jeez, I hope
this doesn't sound foolish.
Copy !req
254. Is it possible
that a cloth like this
left in the gun...
Copy !req
255. could have
caused the explosion?
Copy !req
256. If anything
blocked the barrel...
Copy !req
257. it would cause
the explosion to back up...
Copy !req
258. and blow the breech.
Copy !req
259. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
260. Well, I'm sure there must be
somebody here at the academy
that can identify this.
Copy !req
261. If not, I'll take it
into the lab tomorrow.
Thank you very much.
Copy !req
262. Just a minute.
Copy !req
263. Let me see that again.
Copy !req
264. It could be
a cleaning rag.
Copy !req
265. A cleaning rag?
A rag used
to clean the cannon?
Copy !req
266. Yes.
Copy !req
267. Oh, well, thank goodness.
What a relief.
Copy !req
268. Appreciate it.
Copy !req
269. You know, it's like
when you misplace
your car keys...
Copy !req
270. you can't rest
till you find them.
Copy !req
271. Sir!
Copy !req
272. Excuse me.
Copy !req
273. You know,
maybe the old gun
is not to blame.
Copy !req
274. I mean, maybe someone
was cleaning the cannon...
Copy !req
275. and they just forgot
and left the rag in there.
Copy !req
276. That's unlikely
to happen here.
Copy !req
277. Is there someone
in particular in charge
of cleaning the cannon?
Copy !req
278. We have a cadet assigned
to that detail.
Copy !req
279. I don't recollect
his name at the moment.
Copy !req
280. But if you care
to step over
to my office...
Copy !req
281. I could check it out
for you.
Copy !req
282. If you don't mind
a little walk.
Copy !req
283. My wife says
I need the exercise.
Copy !req
284. This is Lieutenant Columbo,
Miss Brady.
Copy !req
285. He's investigating
our accident.
Copy !req
286. I want
the staff informed...
Copy !req
287. that he is to have
their full cooperation.
Copy !req
288. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
289. Cadet Miller reporting
as requested, sir.
Copy !req
290. Better, Miller.
Copy !req
291. Much better. Thank you, sir.
Copy !req
292. But in the circumstances,
I'm going to put you
on probation for two weeks.
Copy !req
293. Thank you, sir.
Copy !req
294. And I want you to report
each day with those shoes
shined like glass.
Copy !req
295. Yes, sir. Dismissed.
Copy !req
296. Thank you, sir.
Copy !req
297. Where is Captain Loomis,
Miss Brady?
Copy !req
298. I notified him, sir,
but I suppose,
considering the accident...
Copy !req
299. it slipped his mind. Notify him again, will you?
Copy !req
300. This way, Lieutenant. Yes, indeed, sir.
Copy !req
301. Let me check that
duty roster for you.
Copy !req
302. He thought
you were going to hit him.
Copy !req
303. What's that?
Copy !req
304. The boy out there,
he thought you were
going to hit him.
Copy !req
305. My bark is sometimes worse
than my bite, Lieutenant.
Copy !req
306. He's my Boodle Boy.
Copy !req
307. A sort of orderly
that brings me coffee
each morning after reveille.
Copy !req
308. I suppose at 6:30 in morning
it's difficult to think
about shined shoes...
Copy !req
309. but if they don't learn
self-discipline now...
Copy !req
310. they never will.
Copy !req
311. Let's see,
the week of the...
Copy !req
312. What was that
that you called him, sir?
Copy !req
313. A boodle—Boodle Boy.
Copy !req
314. Seventh gun
cleaning detail.
Copy !req
315. Springer.
Copy !req
316. Is that a boy
that you're familiar with?
Copy !req
317. It's Cadet Springer.
He's been suspended
twice already.
Copy !req
318. He has more demerits
than I can count.
Copy !req
319. Well, what
do you think, sir?
Copy !req
320. You think he's the type
of boy that, you know,
his mind is somewhere else?
Copy !req
321. He could forget,
leave a rag in a gun.
Copy !req
322. If anyone were capable
of such an irresponsibility...
Copy !req
323. it could be Cadet Springer.
Copy !req
324. Maybe I'd better go
talk to him.
Copy !req
325. Come in.
Copy !req
326. Oh, sorry, sir.
I can come back.
Copy !req
327. No, let's talk now, Loomis.
Copy !req
328. Are you aware you have
a serious problem
at Pershing Hall?
Copy !req
329. I'll step outside.
Copy !req
330. Stay right where you are,
Lieutenant.
Copy !req
331. Someone over there
is fermenting hard cider
at Pershing Hall.
Copy !req
332. Are you aware of that,
right under your nose?
Copy !req
333. No, sir.
Copy !req
334. Possession and use
of alcoholic beverages
is a serious infraction.
Copy !req
335. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
336. Does the Colonel
have any idea
who might be responsible?
Copy !req
337. If I did,
I wouldn't be asking you
to look into it, would I?
Copy !req
338. No, sir. That's all.
Copy !req
339. Of course, sir.
Copy !req
340. I guess boys
will be boys.
Copy !req
341. Boys will be boys,
Lieutenant.
Copy !req
342. But someone's got
to turn them into men.
Copy !req
343. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
344. Where would I find
this Cadet Springer?
Copy !req
345. Pershing Hall, I believe.
Copy !req
346. Which way is that?
Copy !req
347. Out the main entrance...
Copy !req
348. to the south parking lot...
Copy !req
349. across the courtyard toward
the recreation building...
Copy !req
350. and then right
toward the chapel.
Copy !req
351. Turn left just before
you get there.
Copy !req
352. It's three buildings down
on the left hand side...
Copy !req
353. over by the main gate.
Copy !req
354. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
355. Certainly.
Copy !req
356. How do you get
to Pershing Hall?
Copy !req
357. Well, you should be able
to find it on this.
Copy !req
358. We are here.
Pershing Hall is here.
Copy !req
359. Everything is marked.
Copy !req
360. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
361. You're welcome.
Copy !req
362. Hey, Sarge, how long
are we gonna hang around?
Copy !req
363. It's Sunday, you know.
Copy !req
364. Yeah, what are
we waiting for?
Copy !req
365. What do I know?
He just disappears,
I don't know where he is.
Copy !req
366. Oh, Lieutenant!
Copy !req
367. Lieutenant!
Copy !req
368. Is there anything else
you want us to do?
Copy !req
369. No.
Copy !req
370. Can we go back to town?
Copy !req
371. Yes, I have my own car.
Copy !req
372. Haynes' wife
has been notified.
Copy !req
373. She's flying in
this evening
to claim the body.
Copy !req
374. Very good.
Copy !req
375. I got Haynes'
personal effects.
Copy !req
376. I'm going to put them
in my car and take them
back with me.
Copy !req
377. Clean shirt,
underwear, socks...
Copy !req
378. and what looks like
a blueprint.
Copy !req
379. What have you got there?
Copy !req
380. Do me a favor, will you?
Put this in my car.
Tell him what you got there.
Copy !req
381. Overnight bag,
clean shirts,
underwear, socks...
Copy !req
382. and what looks like
a blueprint.
Copy !req
383. That's the blueprint?
Copy !req
384. I think
it's a blueprint.
Copy !req
385. Just a moment.
Copy !req
386. What is it?
It's not identified.
Copy !req
387. I don't know
how to read these things.
Copy !req
388. Well, neither do I.
Copy !req
389. It says locker room.
Copy !req
390. Maybe it's a new gym.
Copy !req
391. Yeah.
Maybe it's a new gym.
Copy !req
392. Where's the other pages?
Copy !req
393. That's all there was.
Copy !req
394. It says page three
of three.
Copy !req
395. And I see some staple holes
here in the corner.
Copy !req
396. That's all there was.
Copy !req
397. Would you put this
in the back of my car?
Copy !req
398. Thank you.
Copy !req
399. Can we go now?
Copy !req
400. Certainly.
Copy !req
401. Cadet Springer?
Copy !req
402. Yeah?
Copy !req
403. My name is Columbo.
Lieutenant Columbo.
Copy !req
404. Oh, that's all right, son.
Copy !req
405. Listen, I'm sorry
to bother you, son.
Copy !req
406. I thought maybe
you could help me.
Copy !req
407. This will only take
a second.
Copy !req
408. You got any idea
what this is?
Copy !req
409. It's a piece
of a cleaning rag.
Copy !req
410. To clean what?
Copy !req
411. A cannon. A gun.
Copy !req
412. How do you know?
Copy !req
413. Well, feel it.
It's got gun oil on it.
Copy !req
414. Well,
you're absolutely right.
Copy !req
415. Well...
Copy !req
416. I tell you the reason
I ask that is because...
Copy !req
417. I found that rag...
Copy !req
418. on the parade grounds
after the cannon exploded.
Copy !req
419. So?
Copy !req
420. I also found out
that you were assigned
to the gun-cleaning detail.
Copy !req
421. Well, I didn't leave
any rag down the barrel
of that cannon...
Copy !req
422. if that's what
you're trying to say.
Copy !req
423. Well, there's
a simple fact here.
Copy !req
424. If that rag was
in the barrel of the gun...
Copy !req
425. it had to get
there somehow.
Copy !req
426. Mmm-hmm.
Well, that makes sense,
but I didn't do it.
Copy !req
427. What's the name
of that cannon?
Copy !req
428. Old Thunder.
Copy !req
429. Old Thunder.
Copy !req
430. I'd like to get that name.
Copy !req
431. The colonel,
he's pretty tough,
isn't he?
Copy !req
432. I guess so.
Copy !req
433. You two get along okay?
Copy !req
434. Why do you ask me all this?
Why don't you ask him?
Copy !req
435. Well, I'll tell you
what he said.
Copy !req
436. He said you get
a lot of demerits.
Copy !req
437. Well, that's right.
Copy !req
438. The colonel and I have
a few problems
with each other.
Copy !req
439. What did you do wrong...
Copy !req
440. that he stuck you
on the gun-cleaning detail?
Copy !req
441. Well, actually,
cleaning that cannon...
Copy !req
442. is supposed to be
some kind of an honor duty.
Copy !req
443. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
444. That's a reward?
Copy !req
445. Yeah.
Copy !req
446. So who assigned you
to that?
Copy !req
447. The colonel.
Copy !req
448. How often
do you clean the gun?
Copy !req
449. Every night.
Copy !req
450. Even when it's not fired?
Copy !req
451. They fire it
every night at sundown.
Copy !req
452. So you cleaned it
last night?
Copy !req
453. Listen, I didn't leave
any rag in the barrel
of that cannon.
Copy !req
454. I couldn't have.
Copy !req
455. Is there anything else
that you'd like to tell me?
Copy !req
456. No.
Copy !req
457. Lieutenant Columbo, sir?
Copy !req
458. When you're through, sir...
Copy !req
459. the commandant has asked me
to extend his invitation
to join him for supper, sir.
Copy !req
460. Well, I think
I'm through now.
Copy !req
461. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
462. Maybe we can talk again
some other time.
Copy !req
463. I hope
you don't mind, sir...
Copy !req
464. but I'm due
on guard inspection.
Copy !req
465. Just follow this path
till you come
to Sheridan Hall.
Copy !req
466. Take a right,
and then a left in front of
the transportation office...
Copy !req
467. and the mess hall
will be just
in back of it.
Copy !req
468. Thank you very much. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
469. Excuse me, fellas,
can you tell me
where the mess hall is?
Copy !req
470. The mess hall?
Copy !req
471. Can you tell me...
Copy !req
472. Is the mess hall
this way?
Copy !req
473. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
474. I just want to know, can you
tell me is the mess hall
in this direction?
Copy !req
475. Excuse me.
Copy !req
476. Is the mess hall
this way or that way?
Copy !req
477. I'm looking
for the mess hall.
Copy !req
478. Plebes are not
allowed to talk, sir.
Copy !req
479. Oh, uh, well, look...
Copy !req
480. could you just point
with your finger?
Copy !req
481. Is it that way? It's that way, sir.
Copy !req
482. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
483. Excuse me, I'm late.
I got a little lost, sir.
Copy !req
484. Yes. Allow me to present...
Copy !req
485. Cadets Lambert and Moore.
Copy !req
486. Good afternoon, sir.
Copy !req
487. Good afternoon. Care to join me?
Copy !req
488. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
489. Good afternoon. Cadets.
Copy !req
490. Take his coat.
Copy !req
491. Thank you.
Copy !req
492. I...
Copy !req
493. I gather they found you
at Springer's quarters, right?
Copy !req
494. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
495. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
496. Thank you, sir.
Copy !req
497. I hope you don't
mind my asking...
Copy !req
498. why are they
being punished?
Copy !req
499. Lambert.
Sir.
Copy !req
500. Explain to the Lieutenant. Yes sir.
Copy !req
501. Sir, the cadets eating
in this fashion are not
being punished, sir.
Copy !req
502. They're first-year cadets
called plebes, sir.
Copy !req
503. The method of ingestion
is often called
eating a square meal, sir.
Copy !req
504. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
505. Gentlemen, permission
to leave the table.
Copy !req
506. Yes sir. Thank you, sir.
Copy !req
507. Pleasure to meet you, sir.
Copy !req
508. Pleasure to meet you.
Copy !req
509. Tell me, Lieutenant...
Copy !req
510. you had your little talk
with Springer?
Copy !req
511. Yes, sir. Satisfactory?
Copy !req
512. No, sir.
Copy !req
513. Oh, why was that?
Copy !req
514. Is the enrollment down
here at the academy, sir?
Copy !req
515. Beg your pardon?
Copy !req
516. I say, is the enrollment
down here?
Copy !req
517. A little, lately.
Copy !req
518. I only ask because
I see so many empty tables.
Copy !req
519. There are not so many people
who want to be soldiers
these days.
Copy !req
520. Would you pass
the bread, please?
Copy !req
521. Why was your talk
unsatisfactory?
Copy !req
522. There were a couple of things
that bothered me, sir.
Copy !req
523. Let me ask you, sir.
Copy !req
524. He was a delinquent cadet.
Copy !req
525. Why was he assigned
to an honor detail?
Copy !req
526. We have a policy here,
you see, Lieutenant.
Copy !req
527. With rebellious cadets...
Copy !req
528. we try punishment,
and we try discipline.
Copy !req
529. And as you know, Lieutenant...
Copy !req
530. the best men are not
always the most docile.
Copy !req
531. In the case of a cadet
who's got character
and promise...
Copy !req
532. I find that an honor detail
sometimes works wonders.
Copy !req
533. But it was you
that made the assignment?
Copy !req
534. Oh, yes.
Copy !req
535. Don't take this wrong...
Copy !req
536. my next question.
Copy !req
537. I have to ask you to...
Copy !req
538. When I inquired
this morning...
Copy !req
539. why didn't you remember that
you had made the assignment?
Copy !req
540. Oh, yes, I can
help you there, Lieutenant.
Copy !req
541. You see, I remembered
that I made the assignment...
Copy !req
542. but I didn't remember
that he was still on it.
Copy !req
543. You wouldn't have any way
of knowing this, Lieutenant...
Copy !req
544. but these details,
they last about three weeks...
Copy !req
545. and he could
have been replaced.
Copy !req
546. Oh.
Copy !req
547. Oh, fine.
Copy !req
548. Well, thank you
very much, sir.
That does explain it.
Copy !req
549. My pleasure.
Copy !req
550. You have to forgive me.
Copy !req
551. It's not me,
it's my mind.
Copy !req
552. It's very slow,
and I have to pin
everything down.
Copy !req
553. I can understand that.
Copy !req
554. Would you pass
the butter, sir?
Copy !req
555. If I pass the butter...
Copy !req
556. will you promise to explain
to me why the conversation
was unsatisfactory?
Copy !req
557. Actually, sir,
I'm putting on weight...
Copy !req
558. and I'm trying
to cut down on my butter.
Copy !req
559. Don't take that
the way it sounds.
Copy !req
560. I'm going to tell you
why the conversation
was unsatisfactory.
Copy !req
561. It happens to be true.
Copy !req
562. At home,
we don't have butter.
Copy !req
563. My wife, she uses margarine,
but I gave that up.
Copy !req
564. I don't want to press you
by the way.
Copy !req
565. If you don't want
to tell me,
I understand.
Copy !req
566. Oh, no, sir.
Copy !req
567. No, I need your help.
Copy !req
568. I know you do.
Copy !req
569. I mean, you're not
an outsider here, sir...
Copy !req
570. and this is of
vital interest to you...
Copy !req
571. and you have
a right to know.
Copy !req
572. Certainly.
Copy !req
573. I don't think the boy
is telling the truth.
Copy !req
574. You mean, he denied
leaving the rag in the gun?
Copy !req
575. Yes, sir. He denied it categorically?
Copy !req
576. Denied it totally.
Copy !req
577. Well, in that case,
why do you choose
not to believe him?
Copy !req
578. I do believe him.
Copy !req
579. Do you?
Copy !req
580. About that.
Copy !req
581. I see.
Copy !req
582. I'm not being clear,
I know that.
Copy !req
583. The problem is,
it's yes or no.
Copy !req
584. I mean,
about believing him.
Copy !req
585. In other words...
Copy !req
586. Let's see if I can
get this straight.
Copy !req
587. He's holding
something back.
Copy !req
588. He's not telling
the whole truth.
Copy !req
589. You see,
that's on the one hand.
Copy !req
590. That's why the conversation
was unsatisfactory.
Copy !req
591. However,
on the other hand...
Copy !req
592. about when he denies
leaving the rag in the gun...
Copy !req
593. that I believe.
Copy !req
594. Oh, Lieutenant...
Copy !req
595. now I've got
a problem.
Copy !req
596. I'm beginning to think
like you, you know.
Copy !req
597. Springer was on
the gun-cleaning detail,
correct?
Copy !req
598. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
599. Springer was the last one
to clean the gun.
Copy !req
600. And Springer has
a history of carelessness.
Copy !req
601. Now in view
of these facts, Lieutenant...
Copy !req
602. can you explain to me
why you believe him?
Copy !req
603. Because he identified
the rag so fast.
Copy !req
604. In other words,
I asked him
what this rag was...
Copy !req
605. and immediately he just
touched it, and he said
it was a cleaning rag.
Copy !req
606. No hesitation.
That's so...
Copy !req
607. Attention!
Copy !req
608. Beware of an excess
of compassion, Lieutenant.
Copy !req
609. I have no desire
to destroy this young man
any more than you do.
Copy !req
610. But he was guilty
of negligence...
Copy !req
611. and his carelessness
cost a man's life.
Copy !req
612. And irrespective
of whatever action
you choose to take...
Copy !req
613. he is going to be
severely disciplined...
Copy !req
614. right here,
at Haynes Military Academy.
Copy !req
615. Captain Loomis.
Copy !req
616. Sir.
Copy !req
617. What's the progress
on this cider incident?
Copy !req
618. I'm still looking
into it, sir.
Copy !req
619. A word to the wise, Loomis.
Copy !req
620. Beware of a misplaced
sense of justice.
Copy !req
621. The culprits in this case,
they do not know
what justice is.
Copy !req
622. You're allowing them
to walk all over you!
Copy !req
623. Now get it moving!
Copy !req
624. Excuse me, Lieutenant,
I've had a hard day.
Copy !req
625. I'll think I'll retire
to my quarters.
Copy !req
626. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
627. You won't take
any of that personally,
will you?
Copy !req
628. A difference of opinion
between men.
Copy !req
629. It sometimes happens.
Copy !req
630. Yes, sir,
I'm glad you said that.
Thank you very much.
Copy !req
631. Oh, there is one other thing.
Copy !req
632. Well, would you care
to walk with me?
Copy !req
633. Perhaps we could
discuss it on the way...
Copy !req
634. if you've finished
your meal.
Copy !req
635. Oh, absolutely, sir.
Copy !req
636. I always have
a light supper.
Copy !req
637. Johnson is to report...
Copy !req
638. first thing to my office
in the morning.
Copy !req
639. This morning
when I first got here,
I was speaking to...
Copy !req
640. What's his name?
Copy !req
641. Gee, if I don't write
everything down,
I forget it.
Copy !req
642. One of your officers,
he speaks very slow.
Copy !req
643. Oh, Captain Bartlett.
Copy !req
644. That's sounds right, sir.
I think it was Bartlett.
Copy !req
645. Good man.
Copy !req
646. Do you have a Barrett?
Copy !req
647. What's the difference?
Copy !req
648. The fact is,
he was telling me that...
Copy !req
649. you personally
fire the gun...
Copy !req
650. on these
special occasions.
Copy !req
651. Three times.
Copy !req
652. Opening Day,
commencement ceremonies,
and, of course, Founder's Day.
Copy !req
653. And what about
in the evening, sir?
Copy !req
654. What do you call it?
Retreat?
Copy !req
655. We have a junior officer
assigned to that...
Copy !req
656. and he works
on a day-to-day basis.
Copy !req
657. I see.
Copy !req
658. So you only fire
the cannon
three times a year?
Copy !req
659. That's correct.
Copy !req
660. This is a very delicate
subject, sir.
Copy !req
661. That's why I hesitate
to bring it up.
Copy !req
662. I don't want you
to overreact.
Copy !req
663. Then get on with it.
Copy !req
664. I know that you believe
that Cadet Springer...
Copy !req
665. while he was cleaning
the gun, carelessly left
the rag in there.
Copy !req
666. But if you could suppose
for just a moment...
Copy !req
667. that somebody else
put the rag in the gun.
Copy !req
668. Do you know, sir...
Copy !req
669. what the implications
of that are?
Copy !req
670. The implications are
that somebody was trying
to kill you.
Copy !req
671. I don't know what the hell
you're talking about now.
Copy !req
672. If someone is cleaning
a cannon and they leave
a rag in it...
Copy !req
673. then it's an accident.
Copy !req
674. But if it was
not Springer...
Copy !req
675. and someone was not
cleaning that cannon...
Copy !req
676. and they put a rag in it...
Copy !req
677. then it was deliberate.
Copy !req
678. That's true.
Copy !req
679. And if
it was deliberate...
Copy !req
680. and it was planned
for Founder's Day...
Copy !req
681. one of only
three days of the year
that you fire the cannon...
Copy !req
682. then, sir...
Copy !req
683. I don't like
to say this...
Copy !req
684. but obviously
you were the target.
Copy !req
685. That's ridiculous.
Copy !req
686. It's ridiculous
to speculate.
Copy !req
687. I shouldn't have
brought it up.
I knew it would upset you.
Copy !req
688. I think you're working
too hard, Lieutenant.
Copy !req
689. Everything is not
a murder, you know.
Copy !req
690. In your business,
accidents do happen,
you know that.
Copy !req
691. People get hit by cars.
Copy !req
692. A boy could leave
a rag in a gun.
Copy !req
693. You're probably right, sir.
Copy !req
694. Too long in homicide.
Always think the worst.
Copy !req
695. Now I can
imagine that.
Copy !req
696. Oh, sir, would you
do me a favor?
Copy !req
697. Yes, certainly.
Copy !req
698. My wife, she's up in Fresno.
Copy !req
699. She's visiting
my mother-in-law.
Copy !req
700. If it wouldn't be
too much trouble...
Copy !req
701. don't want to put
anybody out...
Copy !req
702. do you think I could spend
the night here?
Copy !req
703. No trouble at all.
Copy !req
704. I'll have them prepare one
of the guest cottages for you.
Copy !req
705. I'd prefer the barracks,
if it'd be all right?
Copy !req
706. You know, be with the kids,
life, you know.
Copy !req
707. Yes, it could be
educational for you.
Copy !req
708. Why don't you stay
at Pershing Hall?
Copy !req
709. Could have another little chat
with Mr. Springer.
Copy !req
710. Wonderful.
Copy !req
711. I'll get someone
to escort you.
Copy !req
712. That won't be necessary, sir.
I know where it is.
Copy !req
713. Besides, I have to pick up
something in my car.
Copy !req
714. I'll tell Captain Loomis
to expect you.
Copy !req
715. Still investigating,
Lieutenant?
Copy !req
716. Oh, nothing important.
Just a couple
of little things.
Copy !req
717. Well, when you get finished,
how about giving me a hand?
Copy !req
718. Case of the sinister cider.
Copy !req
719. You know, I wanted
to ask you about that.
I don't understand.
Copy !req
720. When I was a kid at camp,
we always had cider.
Copy !req
721. This is the hard stuff.
Copy !req
722. Some of these kids,
they bottle it up...
Copy !req
723. and they let it ferment
in the night air.
Copy !req
724. When I was a kid,
it was panty raids.
Copy !req
725. Oh, Morgan. Sir.
Copy !req
726. Would you check Room 2245
for Lieutenant Columbo?
Copy !req
727. See that he's made
comfortable.
Copy !req
728. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
729. Do you have a match?
Copy !req
730. I don't smoke.
Copy !req
731. I don't see Springer.
Copy !req
732. The colonel has placed him
on punishment detail.
Copy !req
733. Because of
the cleaning rag.
Copy !req
734. You know...
Copy !req
735. Cadet Springer denies
leaving the rag in the gun.
Copy !req
736. Springer was responsible
for the gun.
Copy !req
737. That's sufficient,
Lieutenant.
Copy !req
738. I'll leave you
in Morgan's hands.
Copy !req
739. If you need me,
I'm quartered upstairs.
Copy !req
740. Lieutenant.
Copy !req
741. I hope this will be
satisfactory, sir.
Copy !req
742. If not, we have
plenty of others.
Copy !req
743. Do you have a match?
Copy !req
744. No, sir.
I don't smoke.
Copy !req
745. There's a fresh toilet kit
in this chest, sir.
Copy !req
746. Towels are
in the closet.
Copy !req
747. If there's anything else,
please feel free to call.
Copy !req
748. I didn't expect
a room like this.
Copy !req
749. Problem, sir?
Copy !req
750. No, these rooms are not
what I expected.
Copy !req
751. What is it? Morgan? Yes, sir.
Copy !req
752. You know, I was
in the army myself, Morgan.
Copy !req
753. We used to have
one big room.
Copy !req
754. Upper bunks
and lower bunks.
Copy !req
755. Fifty guys, and half
of them were snoring...
Copy !req
756. and the other half,
they were writing letters.
Copy !req
757. So there was no privacy.
Copy !req
758. Now, this is...
Copy !req
759. Well, granted it's not
a dance hall...
Copy !req
760. but it's private.
Copy !req
761. I mean, if I had this
when I was in the army...
Copy !req
762. I could've
enjoyed it more.
Copy !req
763. I'm not sure "enjoy"
is exactly the word
you had in mind, Lieutenant.
Copy !req
764. Listen, if you need
anything, let me know.
Copy !req
765. I wanted to ask you, Morgan...
Copy !req
766. about your new gym.
Copy !req
767. New gym, sir?
Copy !req
768. Yeah, I understand
you're building
a new gym here.
Copy !req
769. That's the first
I've heard of it.
Copy !req
770. The gym we've got is
pretty new anyway.
Copy !req
771. It's only about
seven years old.
Copy !req
772. No kidding?
Copy !req
773. No, sir.
Copy !req
774. Well, I guess
I'm mistaken.
Copy !req
775. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
776. Thank you.
Copy !req
777. Yes?
Copy !req
778. Officer Corso?
Copy !req
779. Yes?
Copy !req
780. This is Lieutenant Columbo.
Copy !req
781. Who? Lieutenant Columbo.
Copy !req
782. We met today
at the Military Academy.
Do you remember?
Copy !req
783. Lieutenant, it's 3:00
in the morning.
Copy !req
784. Yes, I hate to
disturb you at this hour...
Copy !req
785. but you said something today
that has been bothering me.
Copy !req
786. You know,
I couldn't sleep
because of it...
Copy !req
787. and I finally went off.
Copy !req
788. And now it just woke me up.
Copy !req
789. What are you
talking about?
Copy !req
790. Those people out in...
Copy !req
791. Where did you say
that was? Westlake?
Copy !req
792. They reported
hearing the noise.
Copy !req
793. Isn't that what you said?
Copy !req
794. Yes.
Copy !req
795. But, you know, they fire
that cannon every day.
Copy !req
796. How come they never heard
the noise before?
Copy !req
797. It was a very
loud explosion.
Copy !req
798. I know, that's what's
been bothering me.
Copy !req
799. Why is it so loud?
Copy !req
800. Lieutenant, the gun
never blew up before.
Copy !req
801. I see.
Copy !req
802. Well, I'm sorry
I woke you.
Copy !req
803. I'm sorry, too.
Copy !req
804. Listen, go back to bed
and get a good night's rest...
Copy !req
805. and thank you very much
for your help.
Copy !req
806. Sure.
Copy !req
807. On your feet!
Let's go!
Copy !req
808. Formation in 30 minutes!
Copy !req
809. Let's go! Everybody up!
Come on!
Copy !req
810. Let's go!
Copy !req
811. Let's go.
Copy !req
812. Up!
Copy !req
813. Up and at 'em, trooper.
Let's get with the program.
Copy !req
814. Everybody up.
Copy !req
815. Let's go, let's have it.
Formation in 30 minutes.
Copy !req
816. Let's go.
Copy !req
817. Morning, sir.
Copy !req
818. Sleep well?
Copy !req
819. I slept good.
Copy !req
820. It wasn't the sleeping,
it was the waking up.
Copy !req
821. The kid scared
the life out of me.
Copy !req
822. Do you have
an extra pair of socks?
Copy !req
823. Socks, sir?
Copy !req
824. Yeah, clean socks?
Copy !req
825. No, sir.
Copy !req
826. I usually do my laundry
on Monday night, so...
Copy !req
827. I wouldn't be able
to have a fresh pair
for you until tomorrow.
Copy !req
828. But meanwhile, I'll check
into it for you, sir.
Copy !req
829. Yeah, I think I saw something
like that on Cadet Springer.
Copy !req
830. That thing
hanging around your neck.
Copy !req
831. What is that,
like a good luck charm
you fellows wear?
Copy !req
832. No, sir,
that's a pledge ring.
Copy !req
833. Some of us have girlfriends
over at Valley Stream.
Copy !req
834. Valley Stream is
a girls school,
and that's a girl's ring.
Copy !req
835. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
836. You know,
come to think of it...
Copy !req
837. we had something
like that in high school.
Copy !req
838. I gave a girl named Teresa
an identification bracelet.
Copy !req
839. I got it for my birthday.
Copy !req
840. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
841. You know, I ran into her.
Copy !req
842. Oh, it must've been
about eight years ago
at a wedding.
Copy !req
843. So she told me,
she said she's still got it.
Copy !req
844. Well, I was pleased.
Copy !req
845. I'll let you know
about the socks, Lieutenant.
Copy !req
846. Platoon, halt!
Copy !req
847. Carry on, mister.
Copy !req
848. Carry on.
Copy !req
849. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
850. Good morning, sir.
Copy !req
851. I wanted to get over
to see you in your office.
Copy !req
852. I saw you standing
over here, so...
Copy !req
853. I just thought
I'd have to tell you
as soon as possible.
Copy !req
854. Tell me what?
Copy !req
855. I suppose you saw
the fellow I was talking to
over there.
Copy !req
856. What fellow?
Copy !req
857. Sgt. Kennedy,
ballistics, sir.
Copy !req
858. You see,
I had this problem with
the noise of the explosion.
Copy !req
859. Too loud. Noise?
Copy !req
860. Well, you know,
they heard it
way out in Westlake.
Copy !req
861. It's eight miles.
Copy !req
862. They've never heard the cannon
go off before and, of course,
that bothered me.
Copy !req
863. It woke me up.
It was 3:00 in the morning.
Copy !req
864. Well, that's a long story.
I don't wanna get into that.
Copy !req
865. The fact is that
I called this fellow Kennedy
and I asked him...
Copy !req
866. to check out
something for me.
Copy !req
867. Regarding the accident?
Copy !req
868. Well, let me tell you
what he found.
Copy !req
869. I have it right here.
Copy !req
870. He took
little pieces of metal...
Copy !req
871. from the breech of the gun
and he had them analyzed.
Copy !req
872. Taken into the lab.
Copy !req
873. It's not good news.
Copy !req
874. In what respect?
Copy !req
875. Minute traces of a...
Copy !req
876. "g", "e", gelignite.
Copy !req
877. Is that the right word? Gelignite.
Copy !req
878. Gelignite.
Copy !req
879. A gelignite called C4.
Copy !req
880. May I see that?
Copy !req
881. That's a very powerful
explosive, Lieutenant.
Copy !req
882. We don't use it here.
Copy !req
883. But that's the point, Colonel.
Copy !req
884. You see,
you don't use it here.
Copy !req
885. Somebody had
to alter the shell.
Copy !req
886. You understand?
Copy !req
887. That with that much noise...
Copy !req
888. and that kind of force...
Copy !req
889. that somebody took the powder
out of the blank charge.
Copy !req
890. That...
Copy !req
891. Sodium. Nitrate. Sodium nitrate.
Copy !req
892. Yes, sir.
They had to take that out
and put this other stuff in.
Copy !req
893. That's not
an accident, Colonel.
Copy !req
894. Now we are talking
about murder.
Pure and simple.
Copy !req
895. You really think so?
Copy !req
896. I'm certain of it, Colonel.
Copy !req
897. Then it's
a very serious business.
Copy !req
898. If such a thing
were proven...
Copy !req
899. it would be a black mark on
the history of this academy.
Copy !req
900. You better get
this investigation
moving along.
Copy !req
901. Clear it up, man.
Copy !req
902. That's easy to say.
It's hard to do.
Copy !req
903. You see,
the problem is, Colonel,
I don't have any leads.
Copy !req
904. I got that boy Springer...
Copy !req
905. and I do intend
to go back to him.
Copy !req
906. I want to
check his file.
Copy !req
907. However, you do know
how I feel about him.
Copy !req
908. I'll talk to Miss Brady...
Copy !req
909. and make sure that all files
are made available to you.
Copy !req
910. As you see,
it's a busy day.
Copy !req
911. Anything else
I can do for you?
Copy !req
912. I'd love a fresh pair
of socks.
Copy !req
913. Where are you staying?
Copy !req
914. Pershing Hall.
Copy !req
915. They'll be right over.
Copy !req
916. Size 10 and a half, 11.
Copy !req
917. On your feet.
Copy !req
918. How long
have you been on this?
Copy !req
919. Yesterday
and today, sir.
Copy !req
920. Oh, yes, I remember.
Copy !req
921. I had to do it
in my time.
Copy !req
922. You've talked with
Lieutenant Columbo?
Copy !req
923. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
924. What's your opinion of him?
Copy !req
925. I have no opinion, sir.
Copy !req
926. He's not satisfied
with your explanation.
Copy !req
927. The situation is
a little more...
Copy !req
928. complicated than
we had expected.
Copy !req
929. In fact, there is
a distinct possibility...
Copy !req
930. that you may be charged
with murder.
Copy !req
931. Now, hear this.
Copy !req
932. We have had our differences
from time to time...
Copy !req
933. but I still think
you'll make a good soldier.
Copy !req
934. So I can assure you...
Copy !req
935. that you can rely on me
and the academy...
Copy !req
936. to stand behind you.
Copy !req
937. Understood?
Copy !req
938. Carry on.
Copy !req
939. Everything is in
strict order, Lieutenant.
Copy !req
940. I'd appreciate
your keeping it
that way.
Copy !req
941. Oh, absolutely, ma'am.
Copy !req
942. I realize
how people feel about...
Copy !req
943. keeping their records
neat and clean.
Copy !req
944. I can assure you
I won't disturb anything.
Copy !req
945. Incidentally, this is
in terrific condition.
Copy !req
946. Thank you.
Copy !req
947. That was a terrible thing
that happened here yesterday,
wasn't it?
Copy !req
948. I guess you must have known
William Haynes pretty well.
Copy !req
949. No, I rarely saw Mr. Haynes.
Copy !req
950. Wasn't he
the chairman of the board?
Copy !req
951. Mr. Haynes' contacts
with the academy...
Copy !req
952. were infrequent
and generally negative.
Copy !req
953. And I had as little to do
with him as possible.
Copy !req
954. I see.
Copy !req
955. Holy cow,
look at this.
Copy !req
956. Yes, what is it,
Lieutenant?
Copy !req
957. I see where Cadet Springer
was caught sneaking off...
Copy !req
958. the academy grounds
six times.
Copy !req
959. Well, that was last year.
Copy !req
960. He was seeing a girl.
Copy !req
961. What does that have to do
with anything, Lieutenant?
Copy !req
962. I do have work
to get through.
Copy !req
963. Sorry, ma'am.
Copy !req
964. Everything is
back in order.
Copy !req
965. Thank you. Thank you.
Copy !req
966. Can I ask you something?
Copy !req
967. Was my cigar
bothering you?
Copy !req
968. Just a little.
Copy !req
969. I should've known.
Copy !req
970. Can I ask you
another question?
Copy !req
971. It's only going
to take a minute.
Copy !req
972. The dispute
between the colonel
and Mr. Haynes yesterday...
Copy !req
973. it's my understanding
it had to do with
declining enrollment.
Copy !req
974. Is that what you understand?
Copy !req
975. I don't know
what the argument was about.
Copy !req
976. I do know that Mr. Haynes
was rude and arrogant.
Copy !req
977. Well, then you did hear
the argument?
Copy !req
978. Just a little.
Copy !req
979. The colonel brought me out
something to file...
Copy !req
980. and left the door ajar.
Copy !req
981. But I can assure you...
Copy !req
982. that Mr. Haynes
did all the provoking.
Copy !req
983. Can you remember anything
specific that was said?
Copy !req
984. Yes.
Copy !req
985. Yes, one thing
I'll never forget.
Copy !req
986. The colonel suggested to
Mr. Haynes that Captain Loomis
preside at the ceremonies.
Copy !req
987. Now, if Mr. Haynes
had listened,
he'd be alive today.
Copy !req
988. So, in a sense,
it was William Haynes' temper
that killed him.
Copy !req
989. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
990. You're welcome.
Copy !req
991. Excuse me, sir,
can I help you?
Copy !req
992. This is the gym?
Copy !req
993. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
994. I mean,
this is the only gym?
Copy !req
995. Yes, sir.
Excuse me, sir.
Copy !req
996. Which way is north?
Copy !req
997. That way, sir.
Copy !req
998. Trying to figure
something out.
Copy !req
999. That's north, right?
Copy !req
1000. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
1001. So if that's north,
then that's east...
Copy !req
1002. then there should be
a door there.
Copy !req
1003. Right there.
Copy !req
1004. But there is nothing there
but a wall.
Copy !req
1005. Yes, sir.
That's a wall, sir.
Copy !req
1006. I'm right,
there's no door there.
Copy !req
1007. That's no door, sir.
Copy !req
1008. But this is crazy.
Copy !req
1009. I was inside.
Copy !req
1010. The locker room
is here...
Copy !req
1011. and the pool is here.
Copy !req
1012. But where's this door?
Copy !req
1013. And where's
the other gym?
Copy !req
1014. Sir, there's
no other gym, sir.
Copy !req
1015. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
1016. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
1017. Company, ten-hut.
Copy !req
1018. Fall out.
Copy !req
1019. Lieutenant.
Copy !req
1020. We've got a problem.
Copy !req
1021. Roy Springer.
He's gone.
Copy !req
1022. What do you mean, gone?
Copy !req
1023. Well, we've searched
the campus,
and he's not here.
Copy !req
1024. The colonel thought
you ought to know in case...
Copy !req
1025. you wanted to issue
an All Points Bulletin.
Copy !req
1026. I certainly do.
I'll do that immediately.
Copy !req
1027. Thank you.
Copy !req
1028. When was he seen last
and where?
Copy !req
1029. About an hour ago,
in MacArthur Hall.
Copy !req
1030. Miss, excuse me.
Copy !req
1031. Yes? I'm looking for a girl.
Copy !req
1032. I'm sorry.
I'm not supposed
to talk to strangers.
Copy !req
1033. No, ma'am,
I'm not a stranger.
Copy !req
1034. I'm a police officer,
and I'm looking
for Susan Gerard.
Copy !req
1035. I've read her file.
She went to school here...
Copy !req
1036. last year or this year,
I'm not sure.
Copy !req
1037. Susie?
Sure, Susie goes here.
Copy !req
1038. Could you tell me
where I could find her?
Copy !req
1039. Sure. She's on that bus
that's just pulling out.
Copy !req
1040. Miss, can you tell me
what she looks like?
Copy !req
1041. Say, are you sure
you're a police officer? Absolutely.
Copy !req
1042. Sure doesn't look
like a police car.
Copy !req
1043. If you could just
give me a rough idea.
Copy !req
1044. Is she tall? Is she short?
Is she blonde? Brunette?
Copy !req
1045. Well, she's kind
of average, I guess.
Copy !req
1046. Blonde. She's wearing
a red sweater.
Copy !req
1047. Thank you.
Copy !req
1048. Hey, are you sure
that badge is real?
Copy !req
1049. I hope you like cheese.
It's all they had
in the machine.
Copy !req
1050. It's terrific.
It's great.
Copy !req
1051. Listen, I managed
to scrape you about $20,
if you need it.
Copy !req
1052. Well, I don't need it.
Copy !req
1053. I think I'm just going to try
and bum a ride up north.
Copy !req
1054. I guess. Maybe I'll stay
with those guys
in San Francisco.
Copy !req
1055. Roy, don't you think
you ought to stay?
Copy !req
1056. No. I mean, I know
you didn't do it, but...
Copy !req
1057. Somebody's trying
to set me up.
Copy !req
1058. Who's trying
to set you up?
Copy !req
1059. How do you know
he didn't do it?
Copy !req
1060. Colonel Rumford.
Copy !req
1061. Lieutenant Columbo is waiting
in your office...
Copy !req
1062. with Cadet Springer.
Copy !req
1063. Thank you.You're welcome.
Copy !req
1064. Lieutenant.
Mr. Springer.
Copy !req
1065. Sir!
Copy !req
1066. Colonel, Cadet Springer...
Copy !req
1067. I'm gonna talk for you
for a moment, Roy.
Copy !req
1068. Cadet Springer has decided
to return to the academy.
Copy !req
1069. I'm delighted
that he is safely home.
Copy !req
1070. Do you have any charges
against him,
or can I discipline him now?
Copy !req
1071. I have no charges.
Copy !req
1072. I'm happy to hear that.
Copy !req
1073. However, there are
certain facts that we feel
you should know.
Copy !req
1074. I will welcome
any information that would
clear up the situation here...
Copy !req
1075. and we can get this place back
to our normal routine.
Copy !req
1076. In that regard, sir...
Copy !req
1077. the boy has been no help
as far as who did it.
Copy !req
1078. I mean, he has said nothing
that points to anybody else.
Copy !req
1079. You are satisfied
that he didn't do it.
Copy !req
1080. I'm sure
you will be, too.
Copy !req
1081. Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
1082. Roy.
Copy !req
1083. Do you have something
to say to the Colonel?
Copy !req
1084. Sir, it's impossible for me
to have left that rag...
Copy !req
1085. in the barrel
of the cannon, sir.
Copy !req
1086. Tell him why, Roy.
Copy !req
1087. Because I didn't clean
the cannon the night
before the ceremony, sir.
Copy !req
1088. Why not?
Copy !req
1089. I was off campus, sir.
Copy !req
1090. Where?
Copy !req
1091. I would rather
not say, sir.
Copy !req
1092. I'm sure you wouldn't.
Copy !req
1093. The fact is
he was off campus.
Copy !req
1094. He was?
Copy !req
1095. Yes, sir, he was.
Copy !req
1096. And there's a second party
that will verify his story.
Copy !req
1097. So he has a good alibi?
Copy !req
1098. It's not an alibi, sir.
That's a fact.
Copy !req
1099. Very well.
Copy !req
1100. Mr. Springer...
Copy !req
1101. pending investigation
of this serious infraction...
Copy !req
1102. of the rules of the academy...
Copy !req
1103. you are going to be
confined to quarters
until further notice.
Copy !req
1104. Dismissed. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
1105. What do you think of him?
Copy !req
1106. I was thinking of you.
Copy !req
1107. I know
you don't like flattery...
Copy !req
1108. but if you can stand it
for just a moment...
Copy !req
1109. I think
it's a wonderful thing
you did with that boy.
Copy !req
1110. I'm flattered.
Copy !req
1111. I know it didn't
turn out that way...
Copy !req
1112. but you told him
to stand his ground,
and you'd back him up.
Copy !req
1113. He told you that?
Copy !req
1114. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
1115. What would you like
to do next?
Copy !req
1116. I keep thinking
about this file.
Copy !req
1117. What it says.
Copy !req
1118. "This is a very
obstinate young man...
Copy !req
1119. "strong-willed
and opinionated.
Copy !req
1120. "It's as if he goes
out of his way
to take a contrary position.
Copy !req
1121. "Tell him that snow is white,
and he'll say that it's black.
Copy !req
1122. "In this sense, his reactions
are very predictable."
Copy !req
1123. Springer.
Copy !req
1124. Springer?
Copy !req
1125. No, sir. This is not
Springer's file.
Copy !req
1126. No, this is one
of your old files.
Copy !req
1127. This is
William Haynes' file.
Copy !req
1128. That's interesting.
Copy !req
1129. What's interesting, sir?
Copy !req
1130. That at age 16...
Copy !req
1131. their characteristics
should have been so similar.
Copy !req
1132. But Mr. William Haynes
grew up to be a man
without convictions.
Copy !req
1133. I have higher hopes
for Mr. Springer.
Copy !req
1134. When I think of
Haynes and Springer...
Copy !req
1135. and I think about this file...
Copy !req
1136. the fact that their reactions
are predictable...
Copy !req
1137. I find something else
interesting.
Copy !req
1138. See, I'm a cop.
I got a different problem.
Copy !req
1139. I got to catch somebody.
Copy !req
1140. Who has keys
to the arms room?
Copy !req
1141. The arms room?
Copy !req
1142. Yes, sir.
The criminal had to get
into the arms room...
Copy !req
1143. to change the charge
in the casing.
Copy !req
1144. In order to do that,
he needed access to keys.
Copy !req
1145. How many sets are there?
Copy !req
1146. Three.
Copy !req
1147. Springer has a set,
the officer of the day...
Copy !req
1148. and I have a set that will
open every lock on the campus.
Copy !req
1149. Well, we know Springer wasn't
on campus at the time.
Copy !req
1150. So maybe somebody
took Springer's keys...
Copy !req
1151. or they took the keys
of the officer of the day.
Copy !req
1152. Or maybe
they took your keys.
Copy !req
1153. Impossible.
Copy !req
1154. I think that the night before
we had a staff meeting
that went to...
Copy !req
1155. 2200 hours and then
I retired to my quarters...
Copy !req
1156. where I slept soundly...
Copy !req
1157. until I was awaken
by my Boodle Boy at 6:30.
Copy !req
1158. Left staff meeting
at 2200 hours.
Copy !req
1159. What time is that?
Copy !req
1160. 10:00 pm your time.
Copy !req
1161. 10:00 pm.
Copy !req
1162. Went to your quarters,
slept soundly
until Boodle Boy...
Copy !req
1163. woke you.
Copy !req
1164. 6:30.
Copy !req
1165. During that time,
could anybody have
gotten your keys?
Copy !req
1166. I always lock up
before I turn in.
Copy !req
1167. So that means it either
had to be Springer's set...
Copy !req
1168. or the set
of the officer of the day.
Copy !req
1169. Maybe we're looking
too hard at the cadets.
Copy !req
1170. Maybe we ought to be looking
at an expert in guns.
Copy !req
1171. You know, explosives.
Copy !req
1172. Well, this is
a military academy,
Lieutenant.
Copy !req
1173. And as you know,
the military do,
from time to time...
Copy !req
1174. deal with guns
and explosives.
Copy !req
1175. We have a number of experts
right here on campus.
Copy !req
1176. Would you put yourself
in that category?
Copy !req
1177. Very definitely.
Copy !req
1178. Question is who would have
a strong enough reason
to kill you.
Copy !req
1179. You know somebody
who has a grudge against you?
Copy !req
1180. Possibly.
I don't pretend to be beloved.
Copy !req
1181. Can you think
of a specific person?
Copy !req
1182. Not off-hand.
Copy !req
1183. Now, think back, sir.
Copy !req
1184. Go way back during the war.
Copy !req
1185. Disgruntled soldier
under your command?
Copy !req
1186. A rival?
Copy !req
1187. Jealously over a woman?
Copy !req
1188. No.
Copy !req
1189. Some mentally deranged person?
Copy !req
1190. Nobody.
Copy !req
1191. Nobody in the past,
nobody in the present.
Copy !req
1192. That adds up to nobody.
Copy !req
1193. Maybe I'm wrong.
Copy !req
1194. Maybe nobody's
trying to kill you.
Copy !req
1195. You know,
I've been wrong before.
Copy !req
1196. You know,
you can get
too complicated.
Copy !req
1197. Bill Haynes was blown up.
Let's keep it simple.
Copy !req
1198. Somebody was trying
to blow up Bill Haynes.
Copy !req
1199. What are we beating
our brains in for?
Copy !req
1200. At least that way
you can sleep easier.
Copy !req
1201. Would you like to try one
of quality, for a change?
Copy !req
1202. Well, thank you very much.
Copy !req
1203. Will you join me?
Copy !req
1204. I didn't know
you use them.
Copy !req
1205. One a day.
Copy !req
1206. Well, they feel very good.
Copy !req
1207. And they smell
very good, too.
Copy !req
1208. Maybe you can use this.
Copy !req
1209. Do you have a first name?
Copy !req
1210. I do.
Copy !req
1211. My wife is about
the only one that uses it.
Copy !req
1212. We have similar jobs
in a way.
Copy !req
1213. I wear a uniform,
you wear a...
Copy !req
1214. I suppose you could
call that a uniform.
Copy !req
1215. I used to tell my cadets,
you know, all the time...
Copy !req
1216. sometimes
it's harder to be...
Copy !req
1217. a slob than to be neat
and tidy and clean.
Copy !req
1218. It's the wars, you see,
the wars of nations.
Copy !req
1219. When that stops,
hang up the uniform.
Copy !req
1220. I'll hang up my uniform.
Copy !req
1221. I'll go and take care
of my backyard.
Copy !req
1222. I got some roses.
Copy !req
1223. White roses.
Copy !req
1224. And I suppose
that when people stop
abusing each other...
Copy !req
1225. you'll hang up
your uniform.
Copy !req
1226. This is a first rate cigar.
Copy !req
1227. You have a light?
Copy !req
1228. You didn't
really try it yet.
Copy !req
1229. What you were saying...
Copy !req
1230. I talk about that kind
of thing with my wife.
Copy !req
1231. She reads a lot.
Copy !req
1232. Excuse me.
Copy !req
1233. Yes.
Copy !req
1234. Mr. Tate for you
on line 23, sir.
Copy !req
1235. And Captain Loomis
is waiting to see you.
Copy !req
1236. All right.
I'll take the call on 23
and have Captain Loomis wait.
Copy !req
1237. There's something
I want you to see.
I'm going to get it.
Copy !req
1238. I'll be right back.
Copy !req
1239. Wednesday afternoon. 4:30.
Copy !req
1240. Yes, that will be fine,
Mr. Tate.
Copy !req
1241. Let's meet
outside the chapel.
Copy !req
1242. Colonel Rumford?
Copy !req
1243. I didn't realize
you were alone.
Copy !req
1244. Excuse me for intruding.
Copy !req
1245. I was at your office,
Miss Brady...
Copy !req
1246. she said you were
on an inspection.
Copy !req
1247. I am.
Copy !req
1248. Oh, I thought this was
a vacant dormitory.
Copy !req
1249. It is.
Copy !req
1250. I see.
Copy !req
1251. But it will change.
Copy !req
1252. Maybe not this year.
Copy !req
1253. Maybe not next.
Copy !req
1254. But it's going
to change, mister.
Copy !req
1255. You can put your money on it.
Copy !req
1256. No more reluctant
mama's boys.
Copy !req
1257. No more 4F's,
no more Section Eights.
Copy !req
1258. This country is
going to have the best
damn army in the world.
Copy !req
1259. And Haynes Military Academy
will be a part of it.
Copy !req
1260. In that regard...
Copy !req
1261. I wanted to ask you
about this blueprint.
Copy !req
1262. Blueprint?
Copy !req
1263. I found it
in Mr. Haynes' car.
Copy !req
1264. I'd like for you
to take a look at it.
Copy !req
1265. I got to tell you, sir...
Copy !req
1266. that I was really
confused by this.
Copy !req
1267. I mean, I thought
you were building
a new gym and...
Copy !req
1268. Of course I couldn't
figure out why you were
building a new gym...
Copy !req
1269. if the enrollment was down
and the one you got
is only seven years old.
Copy !req
1270. Of course,
then it hit me.
Copy !req
1271. This is the same gym
only with some renovations.
Copy !req
1272. I didn't authorize
any changes.
Copy !req
1273. But Mr. Haynes did.
Copy !req
1274. Or at least he was
thinking about it.
Copy !req
1275. But here's the thing.
Copy !req
1276. This locker room, sir,
right here.
Copy !req
1277. Do you see that?
Copy !req
1278. I see it.
Copy !req
1279. I've located the showers
and the sink...
Copy !req
1280. and the stalls.
Copy !req
1281. I mean, I don't want
to be indelicate, sir.
Copy !req
1282. But if this is
a boys locker room,
there's something missing.
Copy !req
1283. You get my point?
Copy !req
1284. No urinals.
Copy !req
1285. That's it, sir.
Copy !req
1286. And when I saw this,
it occurred to me that...
Copy !req
1287. gee, maybe Mr. Haynes had
the idea of permitting girls
to come to this school.
Copy !req
1288. William Haynes had some very
strange ideas, Lieutenant.
Copy !req
1289. That was one of them.
Copy !req
1290. He used to...
Copy !req
1291. run it up the flag pole
from time to time,
as they say.
Copy !req
1292. Some crackpot scheme
for turning this into...
Copy !req
1293. a coed junior college.
Copy !req
1294. But it never got
further than talk.
Copy !req
1295. Just talk.
Copy !req
1296. Well, you're
probably right, sir...
Copy !req
1297. but still in all
with the board of trustees
meeting coming up this week...
Copy !req
1298. I think Miss Brady just
mentioned something like that.
Copy !req
1299. I can assure you
that if Mr. Haynes
had brought up...
Copy !req
1300. the subject
of a coed school...
Copy !req
1301. it would have been
turned down flat.
Copy !req
1302. You're certain about it?
Copy !req
1303. Absolutely.
Copy !req
1304. I'm in close touch with every
single member of the board...
Copy !req
1305. and I have
their complete confidence.
Copy !req
1306. In that case, sir...
Copy !req
1307. I guess it wouldn't be
necessary for me...
Copy !req
1308. to personally
check that out with
each member of the board?
Copy !req
1309. You'll do
what you have to do.
Copy !req
1310. Fall out of there!
Inspection.
Copy !req
1311. Move out, inspection,
come on!
Copy !req
1312. Everybody, let's go.
Inspection!
Copy !req
1313. What's happening?
Copy !req
1314. Snap inspection.
Copy !req
1315. All right, gentlemen,
attention!
Copy !req
1316. Come on, move it!
Copy !req
1317. It's 3:00
in the morning.
Copy !req
1318. All assembled, sir.
Copy !req
1319. Gentlemen, I realize...
Copy !req
1320. that it's early
in the day...
Copy !req
1321. and this may take
some hours.
Copy !req
1322. Hours?
Copy !req
1323. But someone
in this dormitory...
Copy !req
1324. is fermenting cider.
Copy !req
1325. And no matter
how long it takes...
Copy !req
1326. I intend
to find the cider...
Copy !req
1327. and punish the culprits.
Copy !req
1328. Understood?
Copy !req
1329. Sir, yes, sir!
Copy !req
1330. Understood?
Copy !req
1331. Yes, sir!
Copy !req
1332. Nothing, sir.
Copy !req
1333. Nothing, sir.
Copy !req
1334. Nothing, sir.
Copy !req
1335. We're not lucking out
on this, are we?
Copy !req
1336. Nothing, sir.
Copy !req
1337. This is the last room, sir.
Copy !req
1338. It's almost 0400 hours.
Copy !req
1339. The latrine.
Copy !req
1340. Sir?
Copy !req
1341. Search the latrine.
Copy !req
1342. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
1343. Nothing, sir. Captain.
Copy !req
1344. Sir?
Copy !req
1345. Check.
Copy !req
1346. Sir?
Copy !req
1347. Check the vent.
Copy !req
1348. Check the vent! Yes, sir.
Copy !req
1349. Anything?
Copy !req
1350. Anything?
Copy !req
1351. Nothing, sir. Nothing?
Copy !req
1352. Nothing.
Copy !req
1353. They won't get away
with this, Loomis.
Copy !req
1354. Everyone here...
Copy !req
1355. is on report!
Copy !req
1356. Carry on.
Copy !req
1357. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
1358. Dismissed!
Copy !req
1359. Dismissed!
Copy !req
1360. Hey, clown,
what are you doing?
I thought he found it.
Copy !req
1361. I don't understand it either.
He was looking right at it.
Copy !req
1362. Maybe it's not there.
Copy !req
1363. Of course, it's there, dummy.
I put it there myself.
Copy !req
1364. Maybe somebody
else took it.
Copy !req
1365. You going to turn us in,
Lieutenant?
Copy !req
1366. No.
Copy !req
1367. But I do want you
to do me a favor.
Copy !req
1368. I want to know all there is
to know about this cider.
Copy !req
1369. Who, where, and when.
Copy !req
1370. Yes.
Copy !req
1371. Captain Loomis, sir.
Copy !req
1372. Forgive the hour, sir,
but it's urgent.
Copy !req
1373. Meet me in
the flag pole area...
Copy !req
1374. at the parade ground
immediately.
Copy !req
1375. It's about the cider, sir.
Copy !req
1376. Cider?
Copy !req
1377. Yes, sir.
It's about the cider.
Copy !req
1378. I think I've got it.
Copy !req
1379. All right.
Copy !req
1380. Is that it, sir?
Copy !req
1381. That's it.
Copy !req
1382. Whoever's in that room,
have them fall out
and form here.
Copy !req
1383. Go to it. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
1384. On the double!
Copy !req
1385. Yes, sir!
Copy !req
1386. Have the whole second floor
fall out!
Copy !req
1387. Yes, sir! Do you hear me, Captain?
Copy !req
1388. Yes, sir!
Copy !req
1389. The whole second floor!
Copy !req
1390. Yes, sir! Do you hear me?
Copy !req
1391. Hey, mister!
Copy !req
1392. Don't touch that!
Copy !req
1393. Don't move
till Captain Loomis arrives!
Copy !req
1394. Anyone else
in there with you?
Copy !req
1395. No, sir!
Copy !req
1396. You better be right!
Copy !req
1397. What is it, Colonel?
What's happened?
Copy !req
1398. The cider, Lieutenant.
Copy !req
1399. The elusive cider
has finally materialized.
Copy !req
1400. I knew it would.
Copy !req
1401. Where'd you find it?
Copy !req
1402. There! Up there!
Copy !req
1403. Where are you
pointing, sir?
Copy !req
1404. Where are you pointing?
Copy !req
1405. Second floor,
fourth window along.
Copy !req
1406. Holy cow, you're right.
There it is.
Copy !req
1407. I gotta say this for you, sir,
you never gave up on it,
did you?
Copy !req
1408. You got a pretty good
pair of eyes.
Copy !req
1409. It's my job
to be observant.
Copy !req
1410. So that's how
you knew about it.
You saw it before?
Copy !req
1411. Yes, of course. When was that, sir?
Copy !req
1412. Gentleman, I'm waiting!
Copy !req
1413. I said when was it
that you first spotted
the cider, sir?
Copy !req
1414. During last week.
Copy !req
1415. Wednesday or Thursday?
Copy !req
1416. I suppose so.
Copy !req
1417. I'm surprised that you didn't
start your investigation
the moment you saw it.
Copy !req
1418. That seems to be
the way you do things.
Copy !req
1419. Right away.
No delays.
Copy !req
1420. Gentlemen!
Copy !req
1421. You're slow!
You're very slow!
Copy !req
1422. Was it during
the day or night, sir?
Copy !req
1423. Hmm, what?
Copy !req
1424. I said can you remember
if it was during
the day or the night?
Copy !req
1425. Day, of course.
Copy !req
1426. All right, Captain.
Who was it?
Copy !req
1427. Morgan, sir.
Copy !req
1428. Morgan, step forward.
Copy !req
1429. All cadets remain
where you are.
Copy !req
1430. Lieutenant.
Copy !req
1431. What the hell
is going on here?
Copy !req
1432. That was a lie, Colonel.
It couldn't have been
during the day.
Copy !req
1433. Whoever was involved
in the manufacture
of liquor...
Copy !req
1434. please raise your hands
and say, "Me, sir."
Copy !req
1435. Me, sir.
Copy !req
1436. Was the liquor ever
hung out during the day?
Copy !req
1437. No, sir.
Copy !req
1438. Captain Loomis.
Copy !req
1439. Ten hut!
Copy !req
1440. Colonel.
Copy !req
1441. It couldn't have been
during the day.
Copy !req
1442. Then it must have
been night.
Copy !req
1443. Logic, Lieutenant. Logic.
Copy !req
1444. Wednesday night?
Thursday night?
Copy !req
1445. During the week.
Copy !req
1446. No, sir,
it was Saturday night.
Copy !req
1447. The night before the explosion
that Mr. Haynes was killed.
Copy !req
1448. I wasn't out
Saturday night.
Copy !req
1449. Was the cider ever
hung out Wednesday
or Thursday evenings?
Copy !req
1450. No, sir.
Copy !req
1451. Friday nights?
Copy !req
1452. No, sir!
Copy !req
1453. When was the first time
that the cider was hung out?
Copy !req
1454. Saturday night, sir!
Copy !req
1455. Then I'm mistaken.
Copy !req
1456. It must have been
Saturday night.
Copy !req
1457. Could you be more specific?
Copy !req
1458. Was it closer to 10:00
or 2:00, or was it later?
Copy !req
1459. Maybe daybreak.
Copy !req
1460. Early Sunday morning
like 6:30.
Copy !req
1461. It was impossible
to be daybreak...
Copy !req
1462. because as you know,
Lieutenant...
Copy !req
1463. I was in
my quarters asleep...
Copy !req
1464. until 6:30 when my Boodle Boy
awakened me.
Copy !req
1465. So either you saw it
after 6:30 when you got up...
Copy !req
1466. or you saw it earlier
before you went to bed.
Copy !req
1467. One or the other.
Obviously.
Copy !req
1468. Who's responsible
for bringing in the cider
early Sunday morning?
Copy !req
1469. Right here, sir.
Copy !req
1470. What time was that?
Copy !req
1471. 6:25, sir.
Copy !req
1472. How do you know
it was 6:25?
Copy !req
1473. I had to bring it in
before reveille...
Copy !req
1474. otherwise everybody
would see it, sir.
Copy !req
1475. So you couldn't have seen it
after you got up because
it was no longer there.
Copy !req
1476. And you didn't see it earlier
because it was too dark.
Copy !req
1477. I'll tell you
when you saw it.
Copy !req
1478. Between 6:15 and 6:25.
Copy !req
1479. During those 10 minutes.
Copy !req
1480. Not a minute earlier,
nor a minute later.
Copy !req
1481. Before 6:15,
it was too dark.
Copy !req
1482. Daybreak came at 6:15.
Copy !req
1483. And the cider jar
became visible.
Copy !req
1484. And it was visible
until 6:25...
Copy !req
1485. when it was pulled
in the window.
Copy !req
1486. And not only did you see it at
that specific time, Colonel...
Copy !req
1487. but you had to be standing
in one specific place.
Copy !req
1488. That's right, sir.
Copy !req
1489. You see, you can't see
the window from here.
The trees cover it.
Copy !req
1490. That's the only place
that you can see the window.
Copy !req
1491. You have to be standing
directly in back
of the cannon.
Copy !req
1492. Should I go on?
Copy !req
1493. Done a very nice job.
Copy !req
1494. You know,
I very much wanted to
identify that rag immediately.
Copy !req
1495. But I couldn't get it out.
Copy !req
1496. But don't you expect me
to be contrite, Lieutenant.
Copy !req
1497. It had to be done.
Copy !req
1498. And I'd do it again tomorrow.
Copy !req
1499. Have you finished
with my cadets?
Copy !req
1500. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
1501. Give me a moment.
Copy !req
1502. Gentlemen,
I hear reveille.
Copy !req
1503. That means that you have
precisely 24 minutes...
Copy !req
1504. in which to report to
the mess hall for breakfast,
correctly attired.
Copy !req
1505. Shoes shined,
buttons polished.
Copy !req
1506. Any questions?
Copy !req
1507. No, sir!
Copy !req
1508. Immediately
following breakfast...
Copy !req
1509. those responsible for bringing
cider on this campus...
Copy !req
1510. will report to Captain Loomis
for disciplinary action.
Copy !req
1511. Captain, dismissed.
Copy !req
1512. Fall out!
Copy !req
1513. Now, let's go. Come on.
Copy !req