1. I mean, I believe
that this is gonna
make a new man out of me.Copy !req
2. I'm skipping beer,
giving up the cigars...Copy !req
3. Now she's thin again.Copy !req
4. That's how he was.
He wanted to do everything
right now.Copy !req
5. Can I ask you
a personal question?Copy !req
6. What do you do
with all that money?Copy !req
7. What do you mean,
"reputation"?Copy !req
8. Did your husband
have any health problems?Copy !req
9. Get off my back, Milo.Copy !req
10. All right. Now, let me
have my coffee first.Copy !req
11. He's quite a character,
isn't he?Copy !req
12. And those cigars
you smoke...Copy !req
13. they're gonna kill you.Copy !req
14. Mr. Janus' office.Copy !req
15. Hi, Jess. Buddy.Copy !req
16. Did I catch him in?Copy !req
17. You did,
but he's on the other line.Copy !req
18. When he gets off,
have him call me
at the Chatsworth place.Copy !req
19. And, Jess,
it's kind of important.Copy !req
20. Critical important
or urgent important?Copy !req
21. It's both.Copy !req
22. Right.Copy !req
23. Arnold...Copy !req
24. don't tell me
about mark-ups.Copy !req
25. These people
paid a lot of money
for a Milo Janus franchise...Copy !req
26. and they're going to pay
a lot more to operate them.Copy !req
27. What are you telling me?Copy !req
28. I'm telling you...Copy !req
29. to raise the price
to $288 a gross.
Two gross minimum.Copy !req
30. Two gross?
Where do you want the money?Copy !req
31. That's right, Arnold.Copy !req
32. I want the money deposited
in my New York account.Copy !req
33. And, Arnold, my accountant
is checking the books,
so don't be late.Copy !req
34. All right.Copy !req
35. All right, Arnold.
I'll talk to you on Friday.Copy !req
36. Yes?Copy !req
37. Mr. Castle called,
Mr. Janus.Copy !req
38. He's at the Chatsworth spa.
He'd like you to call him
right away.Copy !req
39. Call him back for me,
will you?Copy !req
40. And Jessica,
don't record this one.Copy !req
41. Yes, sir.Copy !req
42. Hi, Mr. Janus.Copy !req
43. Hey, Charlie.
How's it going?Copy !req
44. Not bad.
Say, you're looking good.Copy !req
45. He still in the office?Copy !req
46. He's got files
all over the place.Copy !req
47. You want me in there
with him?Copy !req
48. No, I think it's better
if I talk to him alone.Copy !req
49. Milo, talking
is not gonna help.Copy !req
50. We'll see.Copy !req
51. Hello, Gene.Copy !req
52. Milo Janus.Copy !req
53. Milo...Copy !req
54. you're a thief.Copy !req
55. Now, what kind of a greeting
is that?Copy !req
56. Did your boy Castle
tell you to come up here?Copy !req
57. I thought he would.Copy !req
58. I should have
torn his head off.Copy !req
59. Calm down, Gene.Copy !req
60. Stress is bad
for your blood pressure.Copy !req
61. There's nothing wrong
with my blood pressure.Copy !req
62. It's my bank account
that's worrying me.Copy !req
63. You've got
a nice racket going, Milo.Copy !req
64. So smooth.Copy !req
65. Gene, why don't you
please tell me
what's bothering you?Copy !req
66. This is what's bothering me.Copy !req
67. An invoice
from the Green Eagle
Gym Equipment Corporation.Copy !req
68. $2,650.Copy !req
69. And I can buy the same stuff
from a discount house
half-price, retail.Copy !req
70. But not the same quality.Copy !req
71. Get off my back, Milo.Copy !req
72. You own that company.Copy !req
73. And...Copy !req
74. Sentry Office Supplies.Copy !req
75. And Lewis Furniture Company.Copy !req
76. Gene, I told you
when you bought
this franchise...Copy !req
77. that you were
going to have to deal
with certain suppliers.Copy !req
78. Now, I told you that,
Gene.Copy !req
79. All owned by you.Copy !req
80. My mark-up is very small...Copy !req
81. but I have to
maintain quality.Copy !req
82. That's what gives me control.Copy !req
83. You've got control,
all right.Copy !req
84. In the meantime...Copy !req
85. I'm being bilked.Copy !req
86. Me and all the other suckers
who plunked down $150,000...Copy !req
87. for one of these...Copy !req
88. second-rate operations.Copy !req
89. Where does the money go, Milo?
What happens to the money?Copy !req
90. Advertising. Promotion.Copy !req
91. Every cent that I make
is reinvested in the company.Copy !req
92. When I grow, Gene, you grow.Copy !req
93. Bull.Copy !req
94. Now, you may be able to fool
those other suckers,
but not me.Copy !req
95. No chance.Copy !req
96. I didn't spend 18 years
as corporate controller
for nothing.Copy !req
97. And I can smell flim-flam
right down
to the paper clips...Copy !req
98. you make me buy.Copy !req
99. And I'm gonna prove it.Copy !req
100. It's here someplace.Copy !req
101. And I'm gonna
stay at this desk
till I find it.Copy !req
102. I don't care
if it takes a weekend,
a week, a month...Copy !req
103. but I'm going to find it.Copy !req
104. Gene, I don't know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
105. I have no secrets
from you.Copy !req
106. Oh, really?Copy !req
107. How about...Copy !req
108. Bolingbrooke
Travel Corporation,
Bristol, England?Copy !req
109. I stumbled on that
almost by accident.Copy !req
110. That's how you're getting
the funds out of the country,
isn't it, Milo?Copy !req
111. I can smell it.Copy !req
112. I really don't know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
113. All right.Copy !req
114. But when I get things
put together...Copy !req
115. you can explain it all
to the Securities
and Exchange Commission.Copy !req
116. In the meantime...Copy !req
117. I'm gonna get the rest
of these suckers together...Copy !req
118. and we're gonna start
a class-action case
against you.Copy !req
119. And between
the SEC and us...Copy !req
120. I'm gonna
hook you, Milo.Copy !req
121. Gene, you're working too hard.Copy !req
122. That's what's wrong with you.
You need some rest.Copy !req
123. I'm serious.Copy !req
124. Have a nice day.Copy !req
125. Well?Copy !req
126. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
127. Look, he said
he's working late,
after closing.Copy !req
128. You want me to stick around,
keep an eye on him?Copy !req
129. No, let him work.
He won't find anything.Copy !req
130. And in eight months,
I'm gonna be in my villa
overlooking the Adriatic...Copy !req
131. with two million
in Swiss francs
to keep me warm.Copy !req
132. Buddy, relax, will you?
You worry too much.Copy !req
133. To show you how much
that guy bothers me...Copy !req
134. let's throw a little party
tonight at my house.Copy !req
135. Invite that little girl.
What's her name?Copy !req
136. Frieda. Invite Frieda.Copy !req
137. Yeah, Charlie's got us
a horror film.Copy !req
138. X-rated and uncut.Copy !req
139. See you at my place, huh?Copy !req
140. Hey, young lady,
what are you still doing here?Copy !req
141. I thought you'd be home
by now.Copy !req
142. I didn't know if you'd still
be needing me, sir.Copy !req
143. You usually call
if I can go.Copy !req
144. Well, I didn't call, actually,
because I'm a devious man...Copy !req
145. and I wanted to talk to you.Copy !req
146. I'm having a little
get-together at my place...Copy !req
147. and if you don't have
any other plans...Copy !req
148. I won't by 6:30.Copy !req
149. Good.Copy !req
150. I have to go
and see Howard Parker
around 7:30.Copy !req
151. I don't know how long
that's gonna take.Copy !req
152. So I think
it would be a good idea...Copy !req
153. if you filled in for me
until I get there.Copy !req
154. You don't mind driving
yourself out to the house,
do you?Copy !req
155. I think I can handle that.Copy !req
156. Good.Copy !req
157. You know, there's one thing
that bothers me about you.Copy !req
158. What's that?Copy !req
159. You're a little
unsure of yourself.Copy !req
160. I'm very unsure.Copy !req
161. But I'm encouraged
by your response.Copy !req
162. Key?Copy !req
163. It's in the mailbox
by the door.Copy !req
164. Right.Copy !req
165. I think I'll file
today's tapes.Copy !req
166. That's all right,
let me do that.Copy !req
167. I want you to get
to the house by 8:30, okay?Copy !req
168. How's 8:15?Copy !req
169. Hi, Jessica.Copy !req
170. Gene Stafford.
Can I speak to him?Copy !req
171. Hi, Jessica.Copy !req
172. Gene Stafford.
Can I speak to him?Copy !req
173. Hello, Gene.Copy !req
174. How did you get in here?Copy !req
175. Well, I thought
I'd stop by...Copy !req
176. and try
and help you answer
some of those questions.Copy !req
177. Well, I'm doing just fine
without your help...Copy !req
178. thank you very much.Copy !req
179. How did you get in here?Copy !req
180. With the master key.Copy !req
181. I have one
to all my franchises.
Sometimes it comes in handy.Copy !req
182. Well, you can just
help yourself
right out the door.Copy !req
183. Bits and pieces.Copy !req
184. That's all I had a week ago.Copy !req
185. Nothing really damaging.Copy !req
186. But now, it's starting
to all fit together.Copy !req
187. You're sharp, Milo.Copy !req
188. Oh, you're sharp.Copy !req
189. But once you wipe away
all that camouflage...Copy !req
190. it still adds up
to grand larceny.Copy !req
191. Grand larceny?Copy !req
192. Come Monday morning...Copy !req
193. this neat little world
of yours is gonna come
crushing down on your skull.Copy !req
194. And it couldn't happen
to a nicer guy.Copy !req
195. That stuff will
kill you, Gene.Copy !req
196. Oh, I'm afraid not.Copy !req
197. I plan to live
for a long, long time.Copy !req
198. I'm afraid not.Copy !req
199. Lennie gets me
off to the side...Copy !req
200. and he says to me,
"Buddy, what are you
trying to do to me?"Copy !req
201. He knew what you were
trying to do.Copy !req
202. He just wanted
to hear you admit it.Copy !req
203. Listen, if I had
any scruples, you think
I'd be in this racket?Copy !req
204. This is worse
than that real estate deal
in San Diego...Copy !req
205. if you can believe that.Copy !req
206. Hey, host!
It's about time.Copy !req
207. Hey, I'm really sorry
I'm late.
How're you doing?Copy !req
208. When does
the show start?Copy !req
209. Hey, Buddy was telling me
how much trouble you had
getting this print.Copy !req
210. Yeah. Hey, listen,
I'm sorry I'm late.Copy !req
211. But you know
that creep Parker? The automobile dealer?Copy !req
212. Yeah, well, he said
he wanted to talk to me
about opening a store...Copy !req
213. so I drove
all across this town
and the creep is closed.Copy !req
214. Can you imagine?
Driving across
the town for nothing?Copy !req
215. I'll be with you
in a minute.Copy !req
216. Hey, you thirsty?Copy !req
217. Yeah, could I have
some orange juice?Copy !req
218. Please.
Some Vitamin C.Copy !req
219. Hello.Copy !req
220. Hello.Copy !req
221. Hi, Jessica.Copy !req
222. Gene Stafford.
Can I speak to him?Copy !req
223. Oh. Oh, yes, Mr. Stafford.
Just a second.Copy !req
224. Who is it?Copy !req
225. Gene Stafford. Thank you.Copy !req
226. Hello, Gene.Copy !req
227. Where are you?Copy !req
228. Still at the gym?
Don't you know
what time it is?Copy !req
229. You can exercise anytime.Copy !req
230. We're having a party.Copy !req
231. Of course
you're invited.Copy !req
232. Change clothes
and come on over.
We'll be going till dawn.Copy !req
233. Okay, suit yourself.Copy !req
234. Are you alone?Copy !req
235. Well, take it easy.Copy !req
236. Don't do anything
too strenuous.Copy !req
237. I don't want you
to pass out.Copy !req
238. Okay, you know
what's best.Copy !req
239. I'll see you on Monday,
huh, Gene?Copy !req
240. Bye.Copy !req
241. That guy is crazy.Copy !req
242. He's been working
in the office all day...Copy !req
243. you know
what he's doing now?Copy !req
244. He's working out
in the gym.Copy !req
245. He's a walking testimonial
for the Milo Janus
health program.Copy !req
246. With his gut?
Are you kidding?Copy !req
247. Morning. Morning, Lieutenant.Copy !req
248. Good morning.Copy !req
249. It happened last night.Copy !req
250. The place was closed.
He decided to work out alone.Copy !req
251. His name is Stafford.Copy !req
252. All right. Now, let me
have my coffee first.Copy !req
253. Hey, Nolan.
You got this thing dusted yet?Copy !req
254. Yeah. All finished.Copy !req
255. Let's go.Copy !req
256. What did you say?Copy !req
257. You said
that he was here alone...Copy !req
258. he decided to work out?Copy !req
259. His name
was Eugene Stafford.Copy !req
260. He owns the place.Copy !req
261. The janitor said
that he worked late
last night.Copy !req
262. Could've been an accident,
a heart attack, anything.Copy !req
263. You know, before coffee,
I'm up, I'm walking around,
but I'm not awake.Copy !req
264. Sure, Lieutenant.Copy !req
265. Lieutenant...Copy !req
266. telephone call for you.Copy !req
267. You can take it
right through that door.Copy !req
268. Telephone?Copy !req
269. Who the hell's calling me
this hour?Copy !req
270. There's a call for me.
Where can I take it?Copy !req
271. Well, there's a phone
in Stafford's office.Copy !req
272. Straight ahead.
First door to your right.Copy !req
273. Hello.Copy !req
274. What are you doing up?Copy !req
275. You know what time it is?Copy !req
276. It's...Copy !req
277. Does anybody have the time?Copy !req
278. It's 6:30.Copy !req
279. It's 6:30.Copy !req
280. I'm not yelling.Copy !req
281. Who's coming?Copy !req
282. Wait a minute.
Harry and Ethel, Norman...Copy !req
283. Uncle Gene, and the twins.Copy !req
284. Well, how would I know
what to feed them?Copy !req
285. What did you feed them
the last time?Copy !req
286. You want to
give them spaghetti,
give them spaghetti.Copy !req
287. Who's on a diet?Copy !req
288. Oh, that's ridiculous.Copy !req
289. Wait a minute.Copy !req
290. Would you be quiet
for two seconds?Copy !req
291. I got an idea.
I'll bring something back.Copy !req
292. Chinese, okay?Copy !req
293. You decide what you want,
you call the place...Copy !req
294. and on the way home,
I'll pick it up.Copy !req
295. That's right.Copy !req
296. Look, I gotta go back to work.Copy !req
297. I'm gonna hang up.Copy !req
298. You can keep talking,
but I'm gonna hang up.Copy !req
299. Hey, you.Copy !req
300. Hey, Charlie,
what are you doing?Copy !req
301. Oh. Excuse me, no,
I was just looking
at these marks on the floor.Copy !req
302. This floor is recently waxed,
isn't it?Copy !req
303. You're damn right.Copy !req
304. Lieutenant Columbo.
I'm from the police.Copy !req
305. What do you do here, sir?Copy !req
306. I'm the custodian,
Murphy.Copy !req
307. I'd appreciate it, Lieutenant,
if you could keep these guys
off the floor.Copy !req
308. I spent an hour last night
waxing up to get rid of marks
like this.Copy !req
309. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
310. What kind of marks are these?Copy !req
311. They're heel marks,
Lieutenant.Copy !req
312. You cops don't care
how hard a guy has to work,
do you?Copy !req
313. You don't have to
clean this floor.Copy !req
314. I do.Copy !req
315. Yeah.
Look, I'm sorry about that.Copy !req
316. What time did you say
you waxed the floor
last night?Copy !req
317. Right after closing.
6:00.Copy !req
318. Are those reading glasses?Copy !req
319. Yeah.Copy !req
320. May I borrow them?Copy !req
321. You say no one
walked on this floor
after you waxed it?Copy !req
322. Nobody except you guys
and maybe Mr. Stafford.Copy !req
323. He was working in his office
last night when I left.Copy !req
324. Only it wasn't him,
because he was
wearing sneakers...Copy !req
325. like you're supposed to.Copy !req
326. Well, listen,
you're absolutely right.Copy !req
327. I'm gonna tell the guys
to be more careful.Copy !req
328. Thank you. Thank you very much.Copy !req
329. Oh...Copy !req
330. Mr. Murphy...Copy !req
331. could I look at your shoes?Copy !req
332. My shoes?Copy !req
333. Yeah,
the bottom of your shoes.Copy !req
334. Oh, yeah, sure.Copy !req
335. Thank you very much.Copy !req
336. Oh...Copy !req
337. don't wax that
until I tell you.Copy !req
338. Wait a minute, fellas.
Excuse me.Copy !req
339. You find something,
Lieutenant?Copy !req
340. May I see your shoes?Copy !req
341. My shoes?Copy !req
342. Yeah,
the bottoms of your shoes.Copy !req
343. Black. Yeah, sure,
they're black.Copy !req
344. Black heels.Copy !req
345. A lot of fellas in uniform,
they wear black shoes, right?Copy !req
346. They all better.
Why?Copy !req
347. Newly waxed floor,
there's a bunch
of brown heel marks in there.Copy !req
348. So?Copy !req
349. Anybody here
have brown soles...Copy !req
350. or brown heels?Copy !req
351. No.Copy !req
352. Check your shoes, fellas.
Any brown heels?Copy !req
353. No. No.Copy !req
354. No, Lieutenant.Copy !req
355. Mr. Murphy?Copy !req
356. Yeah.Copy !req
357. Mr. Stafford
have a locker?Copy !req
358. Sure.I'd like to see it.Copy !req
359. Right this way,
Lieutenant.Copy !req
360. Okay, take him on out.Copy !req
361. This is it.Copy !req
362. It's locked.Copy !req
363. How come it's locked?Copy !req
364. Maybe he didn't want nobody
to take anything, Lieutenant.Copy !req
365. But you said
he was here alone.Copy !req
366. He was.Copy !req
367. He was certainly
a very careful man.Copy !req
368. Can you open it?Copy !req
369. Sure. I got a master key
right here.Copy !req
370. I guess because Mr. Stafford
was working late last night...Copy !req
371. you didn't clean his office?Copy !req
372. No, I figured
since he was still here
when I left...Copy !req
373. that I'd get it
in the morning.Copy !req
374. The stain on his rug,
the rug in his office...Copy !req
375. what is that, coffee?Copy !req
376. What stain?Copy !req
377. That rug's only
five weeks old.Copy !req
378. Be careful,
don't touch anything.Copy !req
379. I want to dust these
for prints.Copy !req
380. Brown heels.Copy !req
381. Brown heels.Copy !req
382. That's very good,
Lieutenant.Copy !req
383. They're brown, all right.Copy !req
384. Oh, Lieutenant,
we checked all the windows
and doors and everything.Copy !req
385. There's no sign
of forced entry.Copy !req
386. Did you find a key
on him?Copy !req
387. Yeah. Locker room key
next to his body on the floor.Copy !req
388. Doc, you got a minute?Copy !req
389. How did he die?Copy !req
390. Strictly unofficial?Copy !req
391. On my mother's eyes.Copy !req
392. I'd say he was
probably exercising
with that barbell...Copy !req
393. it slipped,
came crashing down
on his neck...Copy !req
394. and crushed his windpipe.Copy !req
395. You're sure?Copy !req
396. Well, I'm sure
his windpipe was crushed.Copy !req
397. But who knows?
Maybe he died
of a coronary first.Copy !req
398. Right.Copy !req
399. Maybe he was poisoned.Copy !req
400. Poisoned?Copy !req
401. He sent out
for some Chinese food
last night.Copy !req
402. Yes, well,
maybe some local tong
had it in for him.Copy !req
403. Or the delivery boy.
Or maybe he just died
of overeating.Copy !req
404. What are you trying
to tell me?Copy !req
405. Yeah, well,
I'm trying to tell you
to wait for the autopsy.Copy !req
406. Yes?Copy !req
407. I'm looking for...Copy !req
408. a Milo Janus.Copy !req
409. Are you sure?Copy !req
410. Am I sure what, ma'am?Copy !req
411. You sounded
as if you weren't sure
who you were looking for.Copy !req
412. Milo Janus. Sure.Copy !req
413. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
414. Well, this is his house.Copy !req
415. No, I was just thinking
about something else.Copy !req
416. Lieutenant Columbo,
Police.Copy !req
417. I see, Lieutenant.
Come in.Copy !req
418. Milo's not here
right now.Copy !req
419. He's down at the beach,
running.Copy !req
420. Running? Oh, sure.Copy !req
421. He must do a lot of that.Copy !req
422. Mrs. Janus?Copy !req
423. I'm Jessica Conroy.Copy !req
424. Mr. Janus' secretary.Copy !req
425. Ah, yes.Copy !req
426. I see.Copy !req
427. Can I ask you
a personal question?Copy !req
428. You don't have to answer.Copy !req
429. So, ask.Copy !req
430. How old is Mr. Janus?Copy !req
431. 'Cause I got a friend,
he swears he's 51.Copy !req
432. He's 53.Copy !req
433. Fifty-three!Copy !req
434. Oh, that's fantastic.Copy !req
435. And that's
from the exercising?Copy !req
436. Yeah.Copy !req
437. I would've bet
he wasn't 35.Copy !req
438. Remarkable.Copy !req
439. Oh, hi. Milo,
this is Lieutenant...Copy !req
440. Columbo. Columbo.Copy !req
441. How do you do, Lieutenant?
Pleasure, nice meeting you.Copy !req
442. We were just...Copy !req
443. I was remarking
to your secretary what
fantastic shape you're in.Copy !req
444. Oh, thank you very much.Copy !req
445. Anybody can do it,
if they're willing
to put some effort into it.Copy !req
446. Fresh air, exercise,
proper diet...Copy !req
447. that's the key to good health
and long life.Copy !req
448. I gotta tell you
what a pleasure it is
to meet you.Copy !req
449. Your television show...Copy !req
450. saved my marriage.Copy !req
451. Oh?Copy !req
452. My wife,
always a very happy woman...Copy !req
453. last summer, she suddenly
started getting depressed.Copy !req
454. Started to think
she was getting too fat.Copy !req
455. And when she's depressed,
that's bad...Copy !req
456. because all she wants to do
is eat.Copy !req
457. Lasagna. Rigatoni.Copy !req
458. And the more she ate,
the fatter she got.Copy !req
459. Exactly.Copy !req
460. Now, a couple of months ago,
she started watching
your television show...Copy !req
461. the one
with the exercise.Copy !req
462. She got involved...Copy !req
463. every day.Copy !req
464. On her back...Copy !req
465. kicking her legs.Copy !req
466. You know, from the waist,
down, up...Copy !req
467. down, up.Copy !req
468. Now she's thin again.Copy !req
469. Well, she was never
exactly thin.Copy !req
470. I wouldn't let her...Copy !req
471. because I happen
to like a woman that...Copy !req
472. Well, you know,
that's something else...Copy !req
473. but the thing is that
she got all wrapped up
in these exercises...Copy !req
474. so she forgot
to be depressed.Copy !req
475. So she didn't eat so much.Copy !req
476. But, you know,
I gotta tell you this...Copy !req
477. the things
that she's been buying...Copy !req
478. I wouldn't eat
much of that, either.Copy !req
479. Those soybeans,
the wheat germ...Copy !req
480. not that it's not
good for you.Copy !req
481. You know,
I'm sure it's terrific...Copy !req
482. but, see, I happen
to like a bowl of chili...Copy !req
483. I like a rare steak
now and then—Copy !req
484. Lieutenant,
I'm sure you didn't come
all the way out here...Copy !req
485. to discuss
your eating habits. Hmm?Copy !req
486. No, sir.
As a matter of fact, I didn't.Copy !req
487. Maybe I'm just trying
to avoid it...Copy !req
488. because I don't have
pleasant news.Copy !req
489. I believe you knew
a Mr. Eugene Stafford.Copy !req
490. Knew?Copy !req
491. Yes, sir.
I'm afraid he's dead.Copy !req
492. Oh, no.Copy !req
493. I'm sorry, ma'am.Copy !req
494. Gene, dead.Copy !req
495. How, Lieutenant?Copy !req
496. He was alone last night
in the gym and—Copy !req
497. He had an attack.Copy !req
498. I knew it.Copy !req
499. What do you mean?Copy !req
500. I said to him last night...Copy !req
501. not to try to do too much
too quickly...Copy !req
502. without supervision.Copy !req
503. You spoke to him last night?Copy !req
504. Yeah. He called me
last night from the gym
around...Copy !req
505. What time was it, Jessica?Copy !req
506. I don't know.Copy !req
507. A little after 9:00,
I think.Copy !req
508. I better write this down.Copy !req
509. What time did you say
that was?Copy !req
510. A little after 9:00.Copy !req
511. And what did he say, exactly?Copy !req
512. Did he sound as though
he were alone?Copy !req
513. As a matter of fact,
Lieutenant,
he said he was alone.Copy !req
514. You know,
this is all so senseless.Copy !req
515. I warned him against
working out heavily
without proper supervision.Copy !req
516. A man his age, you know,
it's not a good idea.Copy !req
517. I asked him
to come over
to the party...Copy !req
518. but he said
he'd already changed
into his gym clothing.Copy !req
519. He was gonna work out
for about a half hour
and then go home.Copy !req
520. A man his age...Copy !req
521. sitting around for years,
getting fat and flabby...Copy !req
522. and then he suddenly realized
how he's abused his body...Copy !req
523. tries to correct it
just like that.Copy !req
524. That's why he had
that heart attack,
Lieutenant.Copy !req
525. Well, we're not sure of that.Copy !req
526. All we know is that
he was working out
with a barbell.Copy !req
527. He could've collapsed.Copy !req
528. Or it could've slipped.Copy !req
529. But it fell on his neck
and crushed his windpipe.Copy !req
530. Oh, my God.Copy !req
531. I'm sorry, ma'am.Copy !req
532. Perhaps you'd like
to sit down.Copy !req
533. Oh, no,
I'll be all right.Copy !req
534. Why don't you change clothes?
We have to be at the office
at 10:00 anyway.Copy !req
535. All right.
Yes, I'll do that.Copy !req
536. I won't take up any more
of your time, sir.Copy !req
537. Thank you very much.Copy !req
538. Boy, that must have hurt
like the devil.Copy !req
539. What's that? That burn mark.Copy !req
540. That is a burn mark,
isn't it?Copy !req
541. Yeah, that's a burn mark.Copy !req
542. Yeah...Copy !req
543. I accidentally put my hand
under the hot water this
morning while I was shaving.Copy !req
544. Yeah, they hurt
like the devil.Copy !req
545. Yeah, the last time
that happened to me...Copy !req
546. I spilled some hot coffee
on myself.Copy !req
547. That's what happens, you know.
You don't think
what you're doing.Copy !req
548. Oh, one more thing,
sir.Copy !req
549. I went out to see
Mr. Stafford...Copy !req
550. I understood he was married,
but there was no one else
there in the house.Copy !req
551. Gene and Ruth have been
separated for months.Copy !req
552. She's living
at the Crestlane Apartments
in Beverly Hills, Lieutenant.Copy !req
553. Lieutenant,
I really don't know
how I can help you.Copy !req
554. First I knew
about Gene's death...Copy !req
555. was when a man
from your department
came by this morning.Copy !req
556. Yes, ma'am.
And I'm terribly sorry
for your loss.Copy !req
557. Oh.Copy !req
558. Well, I'm not so sure
I lost Gene last night.
I mean...Copy !req
559. maybe it was a few months ago,
a few years ago.Copy !req
560. You see, last September,
when our son Robbie
went off to school...Copy !req
561. it was the first time
that Gene and I had been
alone together in 18 years...Copy !req
562. and we found that
we didn't really have
a lot to say to each other.Copy !req
563. Well, that happens.Copy !req
564. It does.
You're sure that...Copy !req
565. Sit down, then.Copy !req
566. Thank you.Copy !req
567. Well, now...Copy !req
568. what can I do for you?Copy !req
569. I was wondering, ma'am...Copy !req
570. did your husband
have any health problems?Copy !req
571. Blood pressure...Copy !req
572. heart condition...Copy !req
573. anything like that?Copy !req
574. I mean, not that I know of.Copy !req
575. Lieutenant,
I'm really curious.Copy !req
576. When...Copy !req
577. one of your men came by
this morning...Copy !req
578. he said that Gene
had been killed by a weight
falling on him or something.Copy !req
579. Well, we'll know more
after the autopsy.Copy !req
580. I was wondering, do you know
of anybody that your husband
had problems with?Copy !req
581. Personal problems
or business problems?Copy !req
582. Oh, yes.Copy !req
583. I mean, between Milo Janus
and me, he didn't have
anything but problems.Copy !req
584. And what kind of a problem
did he have with Mr. Janus?Copy !req
585. Business. I mean,
he was just very upset...Copy !req
586. by the way business was going.Copy !req
587. And our lawyers
were negotiating
a property settlement...Copy !req
588. and when talk came up
about the health spa...Copy !req
589. I understood Gene
was gonna sell it
as quickly as possible.Copy !req
590. Why are you asking me
all this?Copy !req
591. Gene's death was accidental,
wasn't it?Copy !req
592. Well, it certainly
appears that way,
yes, ma'am.Copy !req
593. But you don't think so, huh?Copy !req
594. Oh, I don't think anything
at this point.
It's too early.Copy !req
595. Well, if you're looking
for a motive...Copy !req
596. I certainly had one.Copy !req
597. I gave Gene everything.
He gave me nothing back.Copy !req
598. I should be bitter.
I'm not. I loved him.Copy !req
599. And I don't have an alibi
for last night.Copy !req
600. Well, I wasn't gonna
ask you anything
like that, ma'am.Copy !req
601. Oh.Copy !req
602. Well,
thank you very much.Copy !req
603. You've been very helpful.Copy !req
604. Sure.Copy !req
605. Oh,
there is one other thing.Copy !req
606. How did your husband
get involved with Mr. Janus?Copy !req
607. I don't know
what you mean.Copy !req
608. Well, how did they meet?Copy !req
609. Have they been friends long?Copy !req
610. No. No, they haven't,
and they met...Copy !req
611. just a few months ago...Copy !req
612. at a party
given by Buddy Castle.
He's a mutual friend.Copy !req
613. Thank you. Sure.Copy !req
614. Oh, I almost forgot.Copy !req
615. Maybe you can help me.Copy !req
616. Who is Lacey?Copy !req
617. Lacey?Copy !req
618. Yes, I noticed several entries
in your husband's calendar.Copy !req
619. "Speak to Lacey.
Call Lacey."Copy !req
620. But there was no phone number.Copy !req
621. No?Copy !req
622. Wait, yeah.Copy !req
623. When Gene was working
for Tricon Industries...Copy !req
624. there was a man named Lacey.Copy !req
625. Lewis Lacey.Copy !req
626. Lewis?Copy !req
627. L-e-w or L-o-u?Copy !req
628. I don't know.Copy !req
629. I mean,
might not even
be the same man.Copy !req
630. Lewis Lacey. Right.Copy !req
631. Thank you. Sure.Copy !req
632. Mr. Janus!Copy !req
633. Mr. Janus!Copy !req
634. Mr. Janus!Copy !req
635. Mr. Janus...Copy !req
636. I stopped by your place.Copy !req
637. Your housekeeper told me
you were down here swimming.Copy !req
638. Twenty minutes a day.Copy !req
639. You ought to try it,
Columbo.Copy !req
640. I'm afraid not, sir.Copy !req
641. I can't swim.Copy !req
642. I don't even
like a deep tub.Copy !req
643. What can I do for you?Copy !req
644. Well, I just want to check
a few things out, sir.Copy !req
645. We found that
the autopsy report...Copy !req
646. confirmed what we
originally thought.Copy !req
647. There's no question
about it...Copy !req
648. that Mr. Stafford died
of suffocation...Copy !req
649. when his windpipe
got crushed.Copy !req
650. That doesn't surprise you,
does it?Copy !req
651. No, sir.Copy !req
652. But they did find out
something else
and that bothers me.Copy !req
653. It seems as though
Mr. Stafford sent out
for a large meal around 7:30.Copy !req
654. Chinese.Copy !req
655. Chinese?Copy !req
656. Yes, sir.Copy !req
657. He ordered
some egg foo yung...Copy !req
658. and he had
some egg rolls...Copy !req
659. barbecued spare ribs...Copy !req
660. pork fried rice.Copy !req
661. Slow poison.Copy !req
662. I guess he was hungry.Copy !req
663. He told the delivery boy
he was hungry.Copy !req
664. Apparently, he'd been working
at his desk all day
and he skipped lunch.Copy !req
665. So what?Copy !req
666. Well...Copy !req
667. I happened to be reading
this book of yours...Copy !req
668. The Milo Janus Guide
to Health and Fitness...Copy !req
669. and...
Incidentally, it is
a terrific book.Copy !req
670. But it says
in here somewhere...Copy !req
671. that strenuous exercise
after you eat is very bad.Copy !req
672. That's right,
Lieutenant.Copy !req
673. Don't you think
that's strange, sir?Copy !req
674. That Mr. Stafford
would eat a huge meal...Copy !req
675. and a half hour or so later
work out with a huge barbell?Copy !req
676. No, not really, Lieutenant.
Not knowing Gene.Copy !req
677. That's how he was.
He wanted to do everything
right now.Copy !req
678. Forget about the rules.Copy !req
679. Lieutenant, look,
I've got an appointment
in about an hour.Copy !req
680. Well, there's just
a couple of other things
that I'd like to ask you.Copy !req
681. All right,
well...Copy !req
682. why don't you ask me
the questions while I
continue my workout, huh?Copy !req
683. Yes, sir.
Certainly. Good.Copy !req
684. Come on, Lieutenant.Copy !req
685. Get those knees up.
That's it.Copy !req
686. Come on.Copy !req
687. 30 minutes a day, Columbo.
That's all.Copy !req
688. You'll be a new man.Copy !req
689. I'm out of shape, sir.Copy !req
690. No question.Copy !req
691. And those cigars
you smoke...Copy !req
692. they're gonna kill you.Copy !req
693. Yes, sir.Copy !req
694. I tell you,
that's how I feel right now.Copy !req
695. Said you had
some questions.Copy !req
696. Yes, sir.Copy !req
697. I...Copy !req
698. I just want
to catch my breath.Copy !req
699. Well, you go ahead.Copy !req
700. I can split
my concentration.Copy !req
701. So whenever you're ready...Copy !req
702. you just go ahead, huh?Copy !req
703. Well...Copy !req
704. yes, when I'm ready.Copy !req
705. Oh, I wanted to ask you...Copy !req
706. about a Mr. Castle.Copy !req
707. Who?Copy !req
708. Mr. Castle.
Buddy Castle.Copy !req
709. Oh, Buddy. Sure.Copy !req
710. You must have known him
a long time.Copy !req
711. Yeah, Buddy and I
go way back.Copy !req
712. He's quite a character,
isn't he?Copy !req
713. How's that,
Lieutenant?Copy !req
714. Well, what I mean, sir,
is...Copy !req
715. Well, I understand
he's got quite a reputation.Copy !req
716. What do you mean,
"reputation"?Copy !req
717. Well, what I mean,
sir, is...Copy !req
718. he has a record.Copy !req
719. A criminal record.Copy !req
720. You knew about that?Copy !req
721. Yeah.Copy !req
722. Three years' probation...Copy !req
723. for a fraud conviction
in Florida.Copy !req
724. Eleven years ago.Copy !req
725. I know everything
I'm supposed to know about
people I deal with, Columbo.Copy !req
726. Let me tell you
something.Copy !req
727. Buddy is no thief.Copy !req
728. He's a victim
of circumstances.Copy !req
729. Well...Copy !req
730. the circumstances, sir,
at least as far
as I understand them...Copy !req
731. are that...Copy !req
732. he and his partners,
they stole nearly $400,000...Copy !req
733. from some
unsuspecting investors.Copy !req
734. It was an oil speculation.Copy !req
735. Some partners.Copy !req
736. They're the ones
that should have gone to jail.Copy !req
737. Buddy was
an innocent bystander...Copy !req
738. and I'm happy
to have given him a break.Copy !req
739. Well, that's wonderful.Copy !req
740. I mean, wonderful that a man
in your position would take
that attitude.Copy !req
741. I don't care
what people think.Copy !req
742. Buddy is as honest
as I am.Copy !req
743. Yes, sir.Copy !req
744. You want a shoelace
or something?Copy !req
745. Oh, no, sir.
I think this will...
I'll get this, thank you.Copy !req
746. It'll be good...Copy !req
747. if I can get the knot
through the hole.Copy !req
748. I got the knot too low.
I don't know if I can
get it through here.Copy !req
749. Lieutenant.Copy !req
750. Yes, sir?Copy !req
751. Can I ask you
a question?Copy !req
752. Yes, sir.Copy !req
753. Why are you here?Copy !req
754. Sir?Copy !req
755. Why are you here?
Why are you sitting there
in that chair...Copy !req
756. asking me these questions?Copy !req
757. Gene Stafford slipped.Copy !req
758. He fell. He died.Copy !req
759. Unfortunate, yes...Copy !req
760. but just an unfortunate
accident, nothing more.Copy !req
761. Well, you see, sir,
we're not really certain
of that yet.Copy !req
762. Oh, you mean that...Copy !req
763. maybe the egg foo yung
he ate just before
he exercised?Copy !req
764. No, sir, it was
the scuff marks, really.Copy !req
765. Scuff marks?Copy !req
766. Yes, sir.Copy !req
767. You see...Copy !req
768. we found these scuff marks
there on the...Copy !req
769. I'll be a son of a gun.Copy !req
770. I remember when I was a kid,
my grandfather...Copy !req
771. he had a piece of furniture,
it was exactly like this.Copy !req
772. Your grandfather
must have been
a very wealthy man.Copy !req
773. This piece
is over 200 years old.Copy !req
774. Well, that sounds right.
My grandfather,
he only had old furniture.Copy !req
775. You know, he didn't
believe in buying new.Copy !req
776. Just like this.Copy !req
777. There was a mirror here...Copy !req
778. and on this side—Copy !req
779. Would you like to sit down?Copy !req
780. Oh, yes. Sorry.Copy !req
781. And a mirror
on that side.Copy !req
782. What about
those scuff marks?Copy !req
783. Oh, the scuff marks. Right.
Gee, I almost forgot.Copy !req
784. What about them?Copy !req
785. Oh, yeah...Copy !req
786. on a newly waxed gym floor,
scuff marks.Copy !req
787. Yeah? Brown ones.Copy !req
788. Mr. Stafford's shoes
had brown soles
and brown heels.Copy !req
789. You mean that...Copy !req
790. Gene walked
over the newly waxed
gym floor?Copy !req
791. Walking on the fray wouldn't
create these particular kind
of marks, sir.Copy !req
792. No, he would
have to stop short...Copy !req
793. or turn abruptly...Copy !req
794. you know,
something like that.Copy !req
795. As a matter of fact,
I had some of the boys
from the department...Copy !req
796. come down there
and try to duplicate
those exact marks.Copy !req
797. That's what they had to do.Copy !req
798. I mean...Copy !req
799. if he was chasing somebody
or somebody was chasing him...Copy !req
800. scuffle...Copy !req
801. struggle.Copy !req
802. You get my point?Copy !req
803. No, I don't, Lieutenant.
Have you had breakfast yet?Copy !req
804. No, sir.Copy !req
805. Would you care to join me?Copy !req
806. Well, I don't want
to put you out.Copy !req
807. No, it's no trouble, really.
Here, put your hand out.Copy !req
808. I just take these,
and...Copy !req
809. Yeah, that's breakfast.Copy !req
810. That's breakfast, huh?Copy !req
811. Are you having any?Copy !req
812. Sure.Copy !req
813. The same thing? Same as you.Copy !req
814. Say, there's something wrong
with this orange juice.Copy !req
815. It's carrot juice, Lieutenant.Copy !req
816. Oh.Copy !req
817. You mentioned something
about a struggle?Copy !req
818. Yes, sir,
the struggle.Copy !req
819. The heel marks...Copy !req
820. Just put this down
for the moment.Copy !req
821. The lab
definitely established...Copy !req
822. that the heel marks belong
to Mr. Stafford's shoes.Copy !req
823. And I got to thinking,
"Under what circumstances
would a man...Copy !req
824. "run on a newly waxed floor
with shoes on?"Copy !req
825. After all,
he's got his own sneaks
in the locker...Copy !req
826. and he should know better.Copy !req
827. So you think,
you know, if somebody
was chasing him...Copy !req
828. or if somebody was trying
to harm him.Copy !req
829. Trying to harm him how?Copy !req
830. Well, I don't know.Copy !req
831. Just a thought...Copy !req
832. but if somebody
was chasing him
and they caught him...Copy !req
833. then whatever happened...Copy !req
834. that's when he could have
had his neck broken.Copy !req
835. It's possible.Copy !req
836. Well.Copy !req
837. Of course, the problem there
is that he had his shoes on...Copy !req
838. when the guy
was chasing him...Copy !req
839. but when we found the body,
of course...Copy !req
840. he'd changed into sneakers
and gym clothes.Copy !req
841. So this is just speculation
on my part...Copy !req
842. but it is possible
that if someone did this
to him...Copy !req
843. they would have
changed his clothes...Copy !req
844. to make it look
like an accident.Copy !req
845. Lieutenant,
you have my statement...Copy !req
846. and I've already told you...Copy !req
847. when I talked to Gene,
he'd already changed
into his gym clothing.Copy !req
848. Right, you did say that.Copy !req
849. Right.Copy !req
850. Well, thank you, sir.
Thank you very much
for your time.Copy !req
851. I appreciate
everything you've done.Copy !req
852. Pleasure, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant, your pills.Copy !req
853. Yeah, I'll save these
for lunch.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
854. Remember,
fresh air, exercise...Copy !req
855. Yeah, and diet,
I remember.Copy !req
856. Right, good diet.
Excuse me.Copy !req
857. Hello?Copy !req
858. Oh, hi, Buddy.Copy !req
859. Listen, can I
get back to you
in a little while?Copy !req
860. I have somebody
here with me.Copy !req
861. I'll meet you in the office
sometime after 10:00.Copy !req
862. Good.Copy !req
863. You got a light out.Copy !req
864. What?Copy !req
865. I said, you got a light out.Copy !req
866. When a call comes in,
isn't the button
supposed to light up?Copy !req
867. Oh, I hadn't noticed.Copy !req
868. Thanks. I'll call someone
and have them fix it.Copy !req
869. Thank you again.Copy !req
870. Excuse me, no smoking.Copy !req
871. Oh, this is not lit.Copy !req
872. In the ashtray, please.Copy !req
873. Is it all right
if I just hold it?Copy !req
874. Company policy,
no smoking on the premises.Copy !req
875. Full name.
Last name first,
first name last.Copy !req
876. Fill out boxes
"A,"B,"C" and "D."Copy !req
877. "E" and "F"
are for company policy. Ma'am?Copy !req
878. And you can
step over to the table
when you're finished.Copy !req
879. Ma'am.Copy !req
880. You'll find all the pens
you want on the table.Copy !req
881. I'm a police officer.Copy !req
882. Why didn't you say so?Copy !req
883. Applications
for security position
are in room 502.Copy !req
884. Right down the hall.Copy !req
885. I'm not here for a job, ma'am.
I'm on official business.Copy !req
886. I want some information.
Lieutenant Columbo is my name.Copy !req
887. I'm trying to locate
a Mr. Lacey.Copy !req
888. A Mr. Lewis Lacey.Copy !req
889. I understand
that he's employed here.Copy !req
890. Lacey?Copy !req
891. Is that L-a-c-e-y?Copy !req
892. I think so.Copy !req
893. And Lewis. With and an "E"
or with an "O"?Copy !req
894. Not sure.Copy !req
895. What department?Copy !req
896. I don't know.Copy !req
897. I'll be with you
in one moment.Copy !req
898. Ma'am?Copy !req
899. Excuse me.Copy !req
900. I'm a little pressed for time,
so when you get done
with that machine...Copy !req
901. I'd appreciate it
if you took care
of my request.Copy !req
902. Our EDS is preparing you
a hardcover copy
to your coded request.Copy !req
903. Oh, that is my request?Copy !req
904. Yes, sir.Copy !req
905. Oh!Copy !req
906. Just want to know
where he works.Copy !req
907. You'll have
all the information you need
in one moment.Copy !req
908. Anything you want?Copy !req
909. Are you sure you put
the right thing in?
I mean...Copy !req
910. Well, we seem to be getting
an awful lot of information
there.Copy !req
911. That's why I asked.Copy !req
912. You think we could just do it
on the phone?Copy !req
913. Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
A phone call would be
much too complicated.Copy !req
914. You sure that's not stuck?Copy !req
915. No, sir.
It's not quite finished.Copy !req
916. What was this Mr. Lacey?
Was he the president here?Copy !req
917. No, he must have been
very important because...Copy !req
918. Forget it.Copy !req
919. I think it's over.Copy !req
920. Thank you.Copy !req
921. Lacey, Lewis.Copy !req
922. He's a GH-84.Copy !req
923. A what, ma'am?Copy !req
924. He's been terminated.Copy !req
925. You mean he doesn't
work here anymore?Copy !req
926. That's what I said.Copy !req
927. Well, do you have
a home phone,
or a home address...Copy !req
928. something like that?Copy !req
929. Sir, the Tricon Delta 214
is a total spectrum
retrieval system.Copy !req
930. You'll find
all the information you need
right there.Copy !req
931. Oh, thank you very much.Copy !req
932. You're quite welcome.Copy !req
933. Tricon is always happy
to cooperate
with the authorities.Copy !req
934. Yes, I can see that.Copy !req
935. Excuse me, ma'am,
is there a phone here
that I might use?Copy !req
936. Yes, sir.
Right over to your right.Copy !req
937. Thank you very much.Copy !req
938. Hello, this is Lewis Lacey.Copy !req
939. Yeah, Mr. Lacey,
this is Lieutenant Columbo,
and the reason I'm calling—Copy !req
940. I'm away from my desk now,
but expect to be back shortly.Copy !req
941. Please leave your name
and number...Copy !req
942. and I will return your call
as soon as possible.Copy !req
943. You may start talking
when you hear the tone.Copy !req
944. This is Lieutenant Columbo.Copy !req
945. I am from
the homicide department
of the police.Copy !req
946. I would like to speak to you
as soon as possible.Copy !req
947. You can reach me
at the main precinct.Copy !req
948. The telephone number
there is...Copy !req
949. You can look that up.Copy !req
950. I am usually there
in the mornings.Copy !req
951. Thank you very much.Copy !req
952. Mrs. Stafford?Copy !req
953. Yes, I'm Ruth Stafford.Copy !req
954. Lewis Lacey,
Mrs. Stafford.Copy !req
955. I'm not sure you remember me.
We met at a Tricon party
some years back.Copy !req
956. Sure, I do. Sure.
Come on in.Copy !req
957. I feel so awful
about Gene.Copy !req
958. He's been very good to me,
giving me this work to do...Copy !req
959. ever since
Tricon terminated me.Copy !req
960. My profound sympathies.Copy !req
961. Thank you. Come on in.
Sit down.Copy !req
962. Can I get you a drink? No.Copy !req
963. No, thank you. Well, how about some wine?Copy !req
964. No. Are you sure?
I'm having some.Copy !req
965. Mrs. Stafford,
I'm afraid I don't know
quite what to do.Copy !req
966. Do about what?Copy !req
967. Well, Gene paid me
several hundred dollars...Copy !req
968. to do some research
for him...Copy !req
969. and I haven't been able
to get very far.Copy !req
970. And what kind of research?Copy !req
971. Well, my field
is corporate law...Copy !req
972. and I've been doing
some checking
on a Mr. Janus.Copy !req
973. Milo Janus.Copy !req
974. Oh. Will you have some? No.Copy !req
975. What kind of checking
you been doing?Copy !req
976. Well, I was following
the corporate trail,
so to speak.Copy !req
977. I was working
on tax records,
corporation charters...Copy !req
978. to find
what business interests
Mr. Janus has.Copy !req
979. Financial worth
of companies...Copy !req
980. that sort of thing.Copy !req
981. Gene hired you to find out
if Milo's a thief, right?Copy !req
982. Yes, that was his intention,
I believe.Copy !req
983. Well?Copy !req
984. Is he?Copy !req
985. I don't know.Copy !req
986. Mr. Janus is
a very shrewd businessman...Copy !req
987. but everything I've found
seems totally proper.Copy !req
988. In a legal sense, of course.Copy !req
989. Mr. Stafford promised me
some further names
to run down.Copy !req
990. A couple of overseas companies
where Mr. Janus
has been funneling money...Copy !req
991. apparently without notifying
the Internal Revenue Service.Copy !req
992. I don't suppose
he mentioned the names to you.Copy !req
993. No, he didn't. Oh.Copy !req
994. I really don't know
what to do.Copy !req
995. I can't go any further
without them.Copy !req
996. I mean, I'm not even sure
you'd want me to continue.Copy !req
997. I don't really feel
as if I've earned the money.Copy !req
998. No, don't think about it.
Don't worry about that.Copy !req
999. These are my notes.Copy !req
1000. You should have them.Copy !req
1001. Thank you. I'll look at them.
Thank you.Copy !req
1002. I liked your husband
very much, Mrs. Stafford.Copy !req
1003. I'm terribly sorry.Copy !req
1004. Thank you. So am I.Copy !req
1005. Thanks for coming by.Copy !req
1006. Bye. Bye-bye.Copy !req
1007. Mr. Castle?Copy !req
1008. Trying to talk to you
for a couple of days.Copy !req
1009. Lieutenant Columbo.Copy !req
1010. You want to talk
to me, Lieutenant?Copy !req
1011. I'm investigating
the death of Mr. Stafford.Copy !req
1012. Well, I can't
tell you anything.
I wasn't there.Copy !req
1013. The custodian...Copy !req
1014. Do you have a pencil?Copy !req
1015. No, I don't.Copy !req
1016. The custodian, Murphy...Copy !req
1017. he says he left the building
at 7:00.Copy !req
1018. Did he?Copy !req
1019. You got to Mr. Janus',
at what time was that, sir?Copy !req
1020. 8:30, 9:00.
Something like that.Copy !req
1021. Would you mind telling me...Copy !req
1022. where you were between 7:00
and the time you arrived
at Mr. Janus' house?Copy !req
1023. 7:00,
I was home getting dressed.Copy !req
1024. I left about 7:30.Copy !req
1025. I picked up
Miss Frieda Berk...Copy !req
1026. and we went directly
from her place to Milo's.Copy !req
1027. B-e-r-k?Copy !req
1028. Yeah, it's German.Copy !req
1029. Frieda Berk.Copy !req
1030. What is this all about,
Lieutenant?Copy !req
1031. Gene Stafford
died accidentally.Copy !req
1032. You make it seem
as if he were murdered.Copy !req
1033. I didn't say that.Copy !req
1034. Well, it's either that
or you like to waste
people's time...Copy !req
1035. by asking a lot
of foolish questions.Copy !req
1036. I have an appointment
in seven minutes.Copy !req
1037. So may I please
be excused?Copy !req
1038. One thing, sir.Copy !req
1039. You a stockholder
in Mr. Janus' enterprise?Copy !req
1040. A minor one.Copy !req
1041. I was trying to find out
a little bit more
about the business.Copy !req
1042. I spoke to a Mr. Lacey.Copy !req
1043. Who?Copy !req
1044. L-a-c-e-y.Copy !req
1045. I finally talked to him
this morning.Copy !req
1046. I don't know any Lacey.Copy !req
1047. Look, if you want
to know something
about the business...Copy !req
1048. you talk to Milo.
He handles everything himself.Copy !req
1049. Now, will you excuse me?Copy !req
1050. Excuse me. Yes?Copy !req
1051. Oh, Lieutenant...Copy !req
1052. Columbo.Copy !req
1053. We met a couple of days ago
at Mr. Janus' house.Copy !req
1054. I remember, Lieutenant.Copy !req
1055. I was wondering,
do you think that I could—Copy !req
1056. Excuse me.Copy !req
1057. Mr. Janus' office.Copy !req
1058. No, I'm sorry,
he's not here right now.Copy !req
1059. He's at our Chatsworth spa
for the next week or two.Copy !req
1060. Yes, that's right.Copy !req
1061. Sure, you can call him there.
Thank you.Copy !req
1062. Well, you just
answered my question.Copy !req
1063. What's that,
Lieutenant?Copy !req
1064. No, I was wondering
whether I could see
Mr. Janus...Copy !req
1065. but I heard you say
that he's up
at the Chatsworth spa.Copy !req
1066. Yes, until we find
somebody else.Copy !req
1067. You know,
that's very interesting.Copy !req
1068. What do you do,
you record all calls on that?Copy !req
1069. Mr. Janus seems to think
it's a good precaution.Copy !req
1070. You get some
pretty strange people...Copy !req
1071. with some
pretty strange ideas.Copy !req
1072. Oh, you mean lawsuits.Copy !req
1073. We've had our share.Copy !req
1074. So this way
you protect yourself.
You record all calls.Copy !req
1075. Along with a log. Yes.Copy !req
1076. Can't be too careful.
Very smart.Copy !req
1077. Excuse me.Copy !req
1078. Mr. Janus' office.Copy !req
1079. Oh, yes, Mrs. Stafford.Copy !req
1080. I'm sorry,
he's not here right now.Copy !req
1081. He's at our Chatsworth spa.Copy !req
1082. He'll be there
for a week or two.Copy !req
1083. Perhaps you'd like
to call him there.Copy !req
1084. 555-9214.Copy !req
1085. Mrs. Stafford?Copy !req
1086. Well, this is fascinating.
You don't suppose I could
hear how this works?Copy !req
1087. Certainly, Lieutenant.Copy !req
1088. Mr. Janus' office.Copy !req
1089. This is Ruth Stafford.
I want to speak to Mr. Janus.Copy !req
1090. Oh, yes, Mrs. Stafford.Copy !req
1091. I'm sorry,
he's not here right now.Copy !req
1092. What do you mean,
"not there"?
Where is he?Copy !req
1093. He's at our Chatsworth spa.Copy !req
1094. He'll be there
for a week or two.Copy !req
1095. Why wasn't I told?
Who gave him that right?Copy !req
1096. Perhaps you'd like
to call him there.Copy !req
1097. What's the number?Copy !req
1098. 555-9214.Copy !req
1099. Mrs. Stafford?Copy !req
1100. That reminds me
of my sister-in-law.Copy !req
1101. Does she always
sound like that?Copy !req
1102. How's that, Lieutenant?Copy !req
1103. You know,
a little smashed.Copy !req
1104. Well, I wouldn't know.
I seldom speak to her.Copy !req
1105. Oh, you spoke mostly to him.Copy !req
1106. Yes, that's right.Copy !req
1107. Then I suppose
you have a lot of recordings
with his voice.Copy !req
1108. Yes, Lieutenant.Copy !req
1109. I think I'll run over
to the Chatsworth spa.Copy !req
1110. Oh, one more thing.Copy !req
1111. The night
that Mr. Stafford died...Copy !req
1112. you went over
to Mr. Janus' house.
What time was that?Copy !req
1113. Around 8:15.Copy !req
1114. And...Copy !req
1115. Mr. Janus wasn't there
at that time,
is that right?Copy !req
1116. Yes, that's right.
He had to go
see a prospective buyer.Copy !req
1117. He didn't get back
to the house
until a little after 9:00.Copy !req
1118. And that's when
Mr. Stafford called?Copy !req
1119. More or less.
Mr. Janus came home...Copy !req
1120. and then he went
into the study
to start the film projector.Copy !req
1121. Oh.Copy !req
1122. That's when
Mr. Stafford called.Copy !req
1123. Yes.Copy !req
1124. May I borrow a pencil?Copy !req
1125. Sure.Copy !req
1126. Are you certain
it was Mr. Stafford
that was on the line?Copy !req
1127. Yes.Copy !req
1128. You're sure?Copy !req
1129. I recognized his voice,
Lieutenant.Copy !req
1130. What did he say?Copy !req
1131. "Hello, Jessica,
this is Gene Stafford."Copy !req
1132. What was his attitude?
How did he sound?Copy !req
1133. Businesslike, as usual.Copy !req
1134. Then I take it
it's not unusual...Copy !req
1135. for you to be
in Mr. Janus' house
in the evening.Copy !req
1136. Yes, Lieutenant.Copy !req
1137. As a matter of fact,
that was the first time
I was ever there.Copy !req
1138. What are you driving at?Copy !req
1139. Nothing to do with you,
ma'am.Copy !req
1140. No, I was just wondering...Copy !req
1141. if Mr. Stafford was used to
having you answer the phone
in the office...Copy !req
1142. why wasn't he surprised
when you answered the phone
in the house?Copy !req
1143. May I keep this?Copy !req
1144. Sure.Copy !req
1145. Now, Mr. Janus, he's got
two telephone lines
into his house.Copy !req
1146. 6901 and 6902.Copy !req
1147. That's right.Copy !req
1148. Do you remember
which line
the call came in on?Copy !req
1149. No, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1150. Oh...Copy !req
1151. do you remember
when the call came in...Copy !req
1152. did the light under the button
light up?Copy !req
1153. Yes.Copy !req
1154. As a matter of fact,
Lieutenant...Copy !req
1155. it was the second line, 6902.Copy !req
1156. Thank you very much, ma'am.
You've been very helpful.Copy !req
1157. Good evening. Good evening.Copy !req
1158. Chianti
for the gentleman?Copy !req
1159. Thank you.Copy !req
1160. Would you like
some wine?Copy !req
1161. Sure?Copy !req
1162. No, I want to keep
a clear head.Copy !req
1163. Thank you.Copy !req
1164. You know, stress isn't good
for you, Ruth.Copy !req
1165. Why don't you relax
and try and enjoy yourself?Copy !req
1166. I know
you still love him.Copy !req
1167. I never tried
to hide that.Copy !req
1168. He was a wonderful guy.Copy !req
1169. You know, much more than
just a business associate.Copy !req
1170. Oh, come on, Milo,
cut it out.Copy !req
1171. Don't pretend with me.
I know what you're doing.Copy !req
1172. Doing?Copy !req
1173. I don't understand.Copy !req
1174. You're moving in
on the spa already.
You're taking it over.Copy !req
1175. That's just temporary
until I can find a buyer
for you, Ruth.Copy !req
1176. Suppose I don't want a buyer.Copy !req
1177. Suppose I want
to run the business myself.Copy !req
1178. Well, you don't have
any experience.Copy !req
1179. I could learn.Copy !req
1180. I could get
a good accountant...Copy !req
1181. someone who understood
the books.Copy !req
1182. But you might not approve
of that.Copy !req
1183. That's what Gene was doing.
Before he died.Copy !req
1184. He was working on the books.
But you knew that,
didn't you?Copy !req
1185. No, I didn't.Copy !req
1186. Milo, let me
ask you something.Copy !req
1187. Let me ask you something
about the M.J. Manufacturers.Copy !req
1188. That broken-down
pill factory...Copy !req
1189. where you manufacture
health food...Copy !req
1190. and then sell it
for six times the cost.Copy !req
1191. Now, look, Ruth...Copy !req
1192. Okay, I won't ask you
about that.Copy !req
1193. I'll ask you about
the Green Eagle
Manufacturers...Copy !req
1194. where you manufacture
Milo Janus gym equipment.Copy !req
1195. Damn it, Ruth,
I have to maintain quality.Copy !req
1196. Profits. Profit.Copy !req
1197. What do you do
with all that money, Milo?Copy !req
1198. Reinvest it.
In the franchises.Copy !req
1199. When I grow, you grow.Copy !req
1200. I don't think so.Copy !req
1201. And Gene didn't think so.Copy !req
1202. What Gene thought...Copy !req
1203. or what Gene
could have proven...Copy !req
1204. that's a different matter.Copy !req
1205. Let it be, Ruth.Copy !req
1206. You can live comfortably
for the rest of your life.Copy !req
1207. I will sell your franchise.Copy !req
1208. But if you keep making
these wild accusations...Copy !req
1209. the value of your investment's
gonna go down, Ruth, way down.Copy !req
1210. A threat?Copy !req
1211. No. Not a threat.Copy !req
1212. Just sound advice.
You don't know anything
about the business world.Copy !req
1213. The real business world.
And for that matter,
neither did your husband.Copy !req
1214. He lived in that ivory tower
of Pentagon bureaucrats,
pushovers.Copy !req
1215. It's a lot tougher
selling apples
on the street corner.Copy !req
1216. That's what I do,
and I do it successfully.Copy !req
1217. And no one's gonna
spoil it, Ruth.Copy !req
1218. No one. Understand?Copy !req
1219. Have some wine.
Actually, it's very good.Copy !req
1220. Relax.Copy !req
1221. Later we'll go over
to my place.Copy !req
1222. Where are you going?Copy !req
1223. Out.Copy !req
1224. Can I do something for you?Copy !req
1225. What do you say,
Buddy? Hi, Milo.Copy !req
1226. Hey, did you set up
that appointment
with Parker?Copy !req
1227. I think he's ripe now.Copy !req
1228. Yeah, I got a call
and I booked you lunch
at the club.Copy !req
1229. Good.Copy !req
1230. We've got
another small problem.Copy !req
1231. If it's a little problem,
you handle it.Copy !req
1232. I don't think I can,
not this one.Copy !req
1233. What's he doing here?Copy !req
1234. Well, you know that
introductory 30-day offer...Copy !req
1235. we've been pushing
on television?Copy !req
1236. Yeah.Copy !req
1237. What he's doing here.Copy !req
1238. Hey, Mr. Janus,
how you doing?Copy !req
1239. Listen, I gotta tell you,
this is terrific.Copy !req
1240. I'm starting to feel
like a new man already.Copy !req
1241. Fine, fine, Columbo.Copy !req
1242. Of course, you know,
I've only been on it
for about 20 minutes...Copy !req
1243. but you know what it is?Copy !req
1244. It's a whole
different attitude.Copy !req
1245. I mean, I believe
that this is gonna
make a new man out of me.Copy !req
1246. I'm skipping beer,
giving up the cigars...Copy !req
1247. no more chili.Copy !req
1248. That's fine, Columbo.Copy !req
1249. You'll have to
excuse me.Copy !req
1250. I've got some paperwork
I have to take care of.I understand.Copy !req
1251. Just a few more questions
that I want to ask you.Copy !req
1252. Columbo, I don't have
the time.Copy !req
1253. Excuse me, sir.
I gotta get back to work.Copy !req
1254. I thought I'd pop in.
It's about the barbell.Copy !req
1255. What?Copy !req
1256. The barbell, sir.Copy !req
1257. I was talking
to some of the people
around here.Copy !req
1258. It weighs 180 pounds.
It's a heavy thing to lift.Copy !req
1259. I understand that...Copy !req
1260. Mr. Stafford never
lifted anything heavier
than 150 pounds.Copy !req
1261. That's right.Copy !req
1262. When he tried to lift
180 pounds, it killed him.Copy !req
1263. Yeah, it certainly did.Copy !req
1264. But you know...Copy !req
1265. I guess there's not
a lot of people
around here...Copy !req
1266. Do you mind if I come in? Lieutenant, I don't
mean to be rude...Copy !req
1267. but I told you
in the gym...Copy !req
1268. I'm really very busy.Copy !req
1269. I'm pressed myself,
so I'll make it fast.Copy !req
1270. Where was I?Copy !req
1271. Oh, yes.Copy !req
1272. I guess there's not
a lot of people
around here...Copy !req
1273. that could press
180 pounds.Copy !req
1274. Outside of yourself,
of course.Copy !req
1275. Me?Copy !req
1276. Well, I understand
that you once pressed
250 pounds.Copy !req
1277. I wanna tell you,
that's a lot of weight.Copy !req
1278. Listen, I got
a little confession to make.Copy !req
1279. You know, I tried
to lift up that barbell.Copy !req
1280. I couldn't get the damn thing
above my knees.Copy !req
1281. I mean, it shows you
the kind of shape I'm in.Copy !req
1282. Would you please
get to the point?Copy !req
1283. Oh, yes, sir.Copy !req
1284. Well, you know
some of my thoughts
on this case, and...Copy !req
1285. You know, the possibility
in my mind...Copy !req
1286. that maybe the barbell
didn't kill Mr. Stafford.Copy !req
1287. You know, that someone
either struck him
or choked him...Copy !req
1288. or something like that.Copy !req
1289. And if that is the case,
whoever staged it...Copy !req
1290. to make it look
like an accident...Copy !req
1291. he'd have to be strong enough
to lift up
a 180-pound barbell...Copy !req
1292. and place it
on Mr. Stafford's neck.Copy !req
1293. Are you accusing me
because I once pressed
250 pounds?Copy !req
1294. Oh, no, sir.Copy !req
1295. Oh, no, I wasn't
accusing anybody.Copy !req
1296. No, let me explain.Copy !req
1297. No, what I'm trying
to do here is...Copy !req
1298. I'm trying to figure out
how many people...Copy !req
1299. around here...Copy !req
1300. are capable
of lifting 180 pounds.Copy !req
1301. Lieutenant, I can tell you
in the gym right now...Copy !req
1302. there are at least
a dozen men...Copy !req
1303. that could lift up that bar
and put it on Gene's body...Copy !req
1304. if that's what happened.Copy !req
1305. But why don't you
accept the fact
that it was an accident?Copy !req
1306. Well, it's also
about the shoes.Copy !req
1307. Shoes?Copy !req
1308. Yes, sir, Mr. Stafford's
brown-heeled shoes.Copy !req
1309. Oh, yeah,
you mentioned something
about a struggle.Copy !req
1310. Well, I wasn't thinking
exactly about that, sir.Copy !req
1311. No...Copy !req
1312. you see,
the shoes weren't untied.Copy !req
1313. The shoelaces.
They were still tied.Copy !req
1314. And it seems funny to me
that a man would take off
his shoes...Copy !req
1315. without untying the laces.Copy !req
1316. Unless, of course,
he was in a hurry.Copy !req
1317. But I don't know
where he was rushing to.Copy !req
1318. He was just gonna
go work out.Copy !req
1319. You see, that bothers me.Copy !req
1320. You know what bothers me,
Lieutenant?Copy !req
1321. Your constant insinuation
that I know more
about Gene Stafford's death...Copy !req
1322. than I've already told you.Copy !req
1323. Is that the impression
that I give?Copy !req
1324. Yes, that is the impression
that you give, Lieutenant.Copy !req
1325. I'm sorry, sir.Copy !req
1326. If you recall,
I was at home with friends...Copy !req
1327. when Gene died, remember?Copy !req
1328. Yes, sir.
You certainly were.Copy !req
1329. Let me see.Copy !req
1330. You got home
a little after 9:00...Copy !req
1331. and Mr. Stafford called
a few minutes after that.Copy !req
1332. That's about right.Copy !req
1333. That's what I have
written down.Copy !req
1334. See? It's right there, sir.Copy !req
1335. Well, thank you very much.Copy !req
1336. There's one other thing, sir.
Your secretary...Copy !req
1337. she said she left the office
around 6:00 that night...Copy !req
1338. to go home and change
and when she left,
you were still in the office.Copy !req
1339. That's right.Copy !req
1340. Would you mind
telling me, sir...Copy !req
1341. I don't want to sound
like I'm accusing you...Copy !req
1342. but it's a question
I really have to ask.Copy !req
1343. Where were you
in those three hours
from 6:00 until 9:00?Copy !req
1344. What difference can it make?Copy !req
1345. Oh, it probably doesn't
make any difference...Copy !req
1346. but I'm gonna tell you
what my problem is.Copy !req
1347. I got a new boss.Copy !req
1348. He's a nice man,
but he's a little young
for the job.Copy !req
1349. So he's a stickler
for details...Copy !req
1350. and I have to
be very thorough.Copy !req
1351. All right, Lieutenant,
if you must know...Copy !req
1352. I was in my downtown office
until 7:00...Copy !req
1353. and then I drove to Pasadena.Copy !req
1354. May I?Copy !req
1355. Certainly.Copy !req
1356. Is that with two "N's"?
Well, what's the difference?Copy !req
1357. I'll know what it is.Copy !req
1358. One "N," Lieutenant.Copy !req
1359. Thank you.Copy !req
1360. What were you doing
in Pasadena, sir?Copy !req
1361. I went to Parker Motors.Copy !req
1362. Mr. Parker, the owner,
was interested
in talking to me...Copy !req
1363. about a Milo Janus franchise.Copy !req
1364. So I thought
I'd drive out there
and discuss it with him.Copy !req
1365. How'd you make out?Copy !req
1366. I didn't.Copy !req
1367. When I got there,
the place was closed...Copy !req
1368. so I turned around
and I drove home.Copy !req
1369. He wasn't there.Copy !req
1370. What time is it, sir?Copy !req
1371. Almost 11:00.Copy !req
1372. I gotta check into
the headquarters.Copy !req
1373. Thank you very much.Copy !req
1374. Thank you, sir.Copy !req
1375. Oh, Mr. Janus,
just one more thing, please.Copy !req
1376. I thought you had
a clock to punch.Copy !req
1377. I do.
I'm leaving right now.Copy !req
1378. It's about Mrs. Stafford.Copy !req
1379. I understand that you and she
had a little disagreement
in a restaurant last night.Copy !req
1380. Have you been
following me, Columbo?Copy !req
1381. No. What happened was this.Copy !req
1382. Mrs. Stafford came down
to headquarters this morning.Copy !req
1383. She spoke to
some of the fellas
in the other division.Copy !req
1384. What other division?Copy !req
1385. Bunco.Copy !req
1386. Bunco? Yes.Copy !req
1387. Made a lot
of wild accusations...Copy !req
1388. about you,
about your operation.Copy !req
1389. Now, it's clear...Copy !req
1390. Mrs. Stafford
is a very inexperienced
businesswoman.Copy !req
1391. How's that, Lieutenant?Copy !req
1392. The way you run
your business operation.Copy !req
1393. I spoke to a Mr. Lacey.Copy !req
1394. He's somewhat of an expert
on business.Copy !req
1395. And I suppose
he called me a crook?Copy !req
1396. No, sir, he never said that.Copy !req
1397. He said,
and he repeated this...Copy !req
1398. he said technically,
you're within the law.Copy !req
1399. Of course,
I can understand...Copy !req
1400. how Mrs. Stafford
and even Mr. Stafford...Copy !req
1401. how they could get upset
over some of the things...Copy !req
1402. that are going on
around here.Copy !req
1403. That's enough, Columbo.Copy !req
1404. I'm tired of your accusations
and your innuendos.Copy !req
1405. All I'm trying to do
is determine the facts, sir.Copy !req
1406. If you have anything
to say to me...Copy !req
1407. you say it
through my attorney,
is that clear?Copy !req
1408. Yes, sir.Copy !req
1409. And be damn sure you know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
1410. Nurse Colburn, please.
EKG to 447.Copy !req
1411. Nurse Colburn, please.
EKG to 447.Copy !req
1412. Excuse me,
Lieutenant Columbo.Copy !req
1413. I understood they brought
a Mrs. Stafford in.Copy !req
1414. Oh, yes, she's in ICU.
Dr. Freeman's with her now.Copy !req
1415. It's down the hall
to your left.Copy !req
1416. Dr. Golden,
call seventh floor, please.Copy !req
1417. Dr. Golden.Copy !req
1418. Excuse me. How is she?Copy !req
1419. Well, she'll live,
but it was close.Copy !req
1420. What happened?Copy !req
1421. Booze, pills.
A deadly combination.Copy !req
1422. A neighbor found her.Copy !req
1423. Lieutenant.Copy !req
1424. You're gonna be all right.Copy !req
1425. I knew he was cheating Gene.Copy !req
1426. And I told him I knew.Copy !req
1427. He just laughed at me.Copy !req
1428. All right, take it easy.Copy !req
1429. Guess I had too much to drink.Copy !req
1430. And then I couldn't sleep.Copy !req
1431. His face just kept
going around
and around...Copy !req
1432. laughing and laughing.Copy !req
1433. I'll be in the waiting room.
You get some rest.Copy !req
1434. Dr. Dormer...Copy !req
1435. check with x-ray lab,
please. Dr. Dormer.Copy !req
1436. How is she?
They won't tell me a thing.Copy !req
1437. What do you care?Copy !req
1438. Ma'am. What's that
supposed to mean?Copy !req
1439. May I have that magazine?Copy !req
1440. You don't care
whether she lives or dies.Copy !req
1441. As a matter of fact,
she's drinking
because of you...Copy !req
1442. because she thinks
you're responsible
for the death of her husband.Copy !req
1443. And you want to know
something? So do I.Copy !req
1444. I warned you in my office.
Don't you—Copy !req
1445. I checked your alibi
for the time
before you got to the house.Copy !req
1446. It doesn't wash.Copy !req
1447. First of all,
I don't need an alibi...Copy !req
1448. and secondly,
I was at Parker Motors.Copy !req
1449. You said they were closed
when you got there.Copy !req
1450. The fact is,
they've been open every night
until 9:00 for the past month.Copy !req
1451. May I have that magazine? Have they?Copy !req
1452. That's right.Copy !req
1453. Got a match?Copy !req
1454. Your health program
didn't last very long,
did it?Copy !req
1455. Long enough.Copy !req
1456. You know something, Columbo?Copy !req
1457. You're a devious man.Copy !req
1458. That's what they tell me.Copy !req
1459. I'm gonna tell you
something.Copy !req
1460. What I meant to say...Copy !req
1461. was that I drove out
to Parker Motors...Copy !req
1462. but when I got there,
Parker's car was gone.Copy !req
1463. So I assumed
that he left for the day.Copy !req
1464. And since
my original statement to you
was verbal...Copy !req
1465. you must have misunderstood
what I said.Copy !req
1466. Now, if you claim otherwise,
I'm gonna deny it.Copy !req
1467. Is that clear?Copy !req
1468. That's very clear.Copy !req
1469. I don't care what you think.Copy !req
1470. I don't care what you suspect.Copy !req
1471. I don't care
what visions you see...Copy !req
1472. when you look
at your cigar ashes...Copy !req
1473. because I'm innocent.Copy !req
1474. I have an alibi
for the time
Gene Stafford died.Copy !req
1475. And you can huff and puff
on that rotten cigar
until next July...Copy !req
1476. and you'll never
prove otherwise.Copy !req
1477. I wouldn't count on that. Columbo...Copy !req
1478. if you are smart...Copy !req
1479. I won't be seeing you again.Copy !req
1480. Stand still, Johnny.Copy !req
1481. Stop moving!Copy !req
1482. Good morning,
Mr. Janus.Copy !req
1483. Morning, Susan.Copy !req
1484. Yes.Copy !req
1485. Milo, what are you
trying to do to me?Copy !req
1486. I just got
a batch of invoices
from Green Eagle...Copy !req
1487. and I gotta tell you,
pal...Copy !req
1488. you've got a lot of guts
charging prices—Copy !req
1489. Columbo, what the hell
are you doing?Copy !req
1490. Oh, just a little
phone demonstration, sir...Copy !req
1491. to show how a man
who's already dead...Copy !req
1492. can appear to be alive.Copy !req
1493. Well, your little joke
was not funny.Copy !req
1494. It wasn't meant to be funny,
sir. Oh, no.Copy !req
1495. No, you see this tape,
this is tricky stuff.Copy !req
1496. The other day,
I'm in the employment office.Copy !req
1497. I call the phone
of Mr. Lewis Lacey.Copy !req
1498. Now, he gets on the phone,
and he says...Copy !req
1499. "Hello, this is Mr. Lacey."Copy !req
1500. Now, I get out
a whole sentence...Copy !req
1501. before I realize
I'm not talking to him.Copy !req
1502. I'm talking to a recording.Copy !req
1503. A thing like that,
it makes an impression on you.Copy !req
1504. This tape here...Copy !req
1505. this is a tape
of a conversation...Copy !req
1506. you had with Mr. Stafford
two months ago.Copy !req
1507. I clipped out
a piece of it...Copy !req
1508. and I played it back
on the phone.
I hope you don't mind.Copy !req
1509. But I do mind. What the hell
gives you the right, Columbo?Copy !req
1510. This, sir.Copy !req
1511. This is a warrant.Copy !req
1512. This gives me the right.Copy !req
1513. I also found the spot
on the tape...Copy !req
1514. that you clipped out before.Copy !req
1515. The tape that you used
to convince your secretary...Copy !req
1516. that Mr. Stafford was alive
and working out in the gym.Copy !req
1517. It came from this reel.Copy !req
1518. But when you play
this reel back, it skips...Copy !req
1519. from the end
of the previous phone call...Copy !req
1520. to the point
where your secretary
tells you...Copy !req
1521. that Mr. Stafford
is on the phone...Copy !req
1522. but in between
there's a splice mark.Copy !req
1523. You see it?Copy !req
1524. Now, I figure
what's been clipped out...Copy !req
1525. that's the part
where Mr. Stafford said...Copy !req
1526. "Hello, Jessica,
this is Gene Stafford.
Can I speak to Mr. Janus?"Copy !req
1527. Something like that.Copy !req
1528. You see how easy it is
to fool people.Copy !req
1529. Columbo...Copy !req
1530. you've got some imagination.Copy !req
1531. Even if someone did clip out
a section of that tape...Copy !req
1532. it could have been anyone...Copy !req
1533. that knew about those files.Copy !req
1534. But it wasn't anyone, sir.Copy !req
1535. You carried on
a lengthy conversation
on the phone with him...Copy !req
1536. didn't you?Copy !req
1537. I'll tell you how you did it,
if you're interested.Copy !req
1538. Go ahead,
it's your fairy tale.Copy !req
1539. When you came home, sir...Copy !req
1540. after you murdered
Mr. Stafford...Copy !req
1541. you went into your study...Copy !req
1542. and you pushed down line 6901.Copy !req
1543. Then you dialed 6902...Copy !req
1544. knowing that your secretary
in the living room
would answer the phone.Copy !req
1545. She picks up the phone.Copy !req
1546. Naturally, she recognizes
Mr. Stafford's voice.Copy !req
1547. Now you come out of the study,
you take the phone...Copy !req
1548. and you stage
this imaginary conversation.Copy !req
1549. Even to the point
of planting the idea...Copy !req
1550. that he was working out
with exercise equipment.Copy !req
1551. Did I?Copy !req
1552. Yes, sir, you did.Copy !req
1553. And you did something else,
and this was smart.Copy !req
1554. And I give you credit
for this.Copy !req
1555. You removed the bulb
on the phone
in the living room...Copy !req
1556. so that the line
wouldn't light up.Copy !req
1557. Because if 6901 lit up...Copy !req
1558. the people there would know
that you were talking
from the phone in the study.Copy !req
1559. Guess work. Supposition.Copy !req
1560. More cigar ashes.Copy !req
1561. What you need,
Lieutenant, is proof.Copy !req
1562. That's what you need, proof.Copy !req
1563. It didn't take me
till July...Copy !req
1564. but I got the proof.Copy !req
1565. Right here.Copy !req
1566. Your sworn statement...Copy !req
1567. regarding
the telephone conversation...Copy !req
1568. that you claim
you had with Mr. Stafford.Copy !req
1569. But I did talk to him.
I talked to him.Copy !req
1570. And he was at the health club?Copy !req
1571. Yes.Copy !req
1572. And he was working out
with the barbell?Copy !req
1573. He said
he was about to work out.Copy !req
1574. Here's your quote.Copy !req
1575. "He already changed
into his gym clothes.Copy !req
1576. "He said he was going
to work out
for about a half an hour...Copy !req
1577. "and then go home."Copy !req
1578. Is that what he said?Copy !req
1579. Yes.Copy !req
1580. Are you sure?Copy !req
1581. Yes, damn it.
That's what I said.Copy !req
1582. That's impossible,
Mr. Janus.Copy !req
1583. Oh, that's just not possible.Copy !req
1584. Lieutenant,
that's a very expensive desk.Copy !req
1585. Oh, excuse me.Copy !req
1586. If you'd just bear with me
for a moment.Copy !req
1587. Because this
is very interesting.Copy !req
1588. Watch this carefully.Copy !req
1589. I tie my shoes
like most right-handed people.Copy !req
1590. I make my first loop...Copy !req
1591. and you'll notice
that the loop is over my arch.Copy !req
1592. It's on the same side
as my big toe.Copy !req
1593. Is that true?Copy !req
1594. That's right.Copy !req
1595. Just bear with me, sir.Copy !req
1596. Oh, that's my lunch.
That doesn't mean nothing.Copy !req
1597. Here we are.Copy !req
1598. This is an old sneaker
of mine.Copy !req
1599. Now I turn
that sneaker around...Copy !req
1600. just like I was gonna
tie somebody else's shoe.Copy !req
1601. I do the laces the same way...Copy !req
1602. and I make my first loop.Copy !req
1603. You'll notice that the loop...Copy !req
1604. is now on the opposite side.Copy !req
1605. It's on the side
of the little toe.Copy !req
1606. Here, it was on the side
of the big toe.Copy !req
1607. This is the exact reversal
of this.Copy !req
1608. Is that true?Copy !req
1609. Yes, Lieutenant, that's true.Copy !req
1610. You see, I knew
there was something
about these shoelaces...Copy !req
1611. that was bothering me.Copy !req
1612. I just couldn't
put my finger on it.Copy !req
1613. Oh, yes.Copy !req
1614. Look at this photograph.Copy !req
1615. This is a picture
of Mr. Stafford's sneakers.Copy !req
1616. It was taken
when the body was discovered.Copy !req
1617. You'll notice
that the first loop...Copy !req
1618. which you can
always identify...Copy !req
1619. it's the top loop...Copy !req
1620. the first loop is on the side
of the little toe.Copy !req
1621. Now look at this shoe.Copy !req
1622. This is Mr. Stafford's shoe.Copy !req
1623. I found it in his locker.Copy !req
1624. Now, this is
the interesting point.Copy !req
1625. When I tie my own lace...Copy !req
1626. the first loop
is on the side of the big toe.Copy !req
1627. When Mr. Stafford
ties his own laces...Copy !req
1628. the first loop
is on the side of the big toe.Copy !req
1629. This matches with this.Copy !req
1630. However...Copy !req
1631. when I tie
somebody else's shoe...Copy !req
1632. the first loop is on the side
of the little toe.Copy !req
1633. And this matches with this.Copy !req
1634. There's only one conclusion.Copy !req
1635. Mr. Stafford did not
put on his own sneakers.Copy !req
1636. Somebody else did.Copy !req
1637. And that somebody was you.Copy !req
1638. You changed his clothes.Copy !req
1639. Now, you wait a minute,
Lieutenant.
I'll tell you something.Copy !req
1640. Your little demonstration
proves one thing
and one thing only.Copy !req
1641. That somebody else
put on Stafford's gym shoes...Copy !req
1642. but the fact remains
you can't prove that I did it.Copy !req
1643. It could have been anybody.Copy !req
1644. It could only be you.Copy !req
1645. By your own admission,
it had to be you.Copy !req
1646. Mr. Stafford was last seen
around 7:30...Copy !req
1647. wearing his business clothes.Copy !req
1648. Now, he's alone
in the building...Copy !req
1649. the building is locked...Copy !req
1650. and the next morning,
he's found dead...Copy !req
1651. in his gym clothes!Copy !req
1652. And at 9:00
the previous evening...Copy !req
1653. nine hours
before the body was found...Copy !req
1654. you and you alone...Copy !req
1655. knew that he was
in his gym clothes.Copy !req
1656. You said so.Copy !req
1657. You swore to it
in front of five witnesses.Copy !req
1658. How did you know
he was in his gym clothes...Copy !req
1659. if you didn't change
the clothes?Copy !req
1660. You tried to contrive
the perfect alibi, sir.Copy !req
1661. And it's your perfect alibi
that's gonna hang you.Copy !req