Columbo 1x4

1. This one is as crooked as a dog's hind leg.

2. Fire it in the vice this afternoon.

3. Are those yesterday's field reports?

4. - Yes, sir. - I want them now.

5. Three more units added to security at Coastal Aircraft.

6. No progress on the Fairfax Insurance investigation.

7. We're working with their accountants on the audit.

8. Uh, Brooks and Wilcox are in court this morning on the Monzio divorce.

9. Brooks anticipates no problem.

10. James case looking very positive, no negative signs in sight.

11. All men on surveillance have checked in except Russell,

12. but he's in Santa Barbara and he's undercover.

13. Let me have the afternoon report at 5:30.

14. I assume our guest has arrived.

15. Yes, sir, but Mr. Kennicut isn't here yet.

16. Well, he's not due for another 30 seconds.

17. He's just coming in now.

18. I want you to listen very carefully please.

19. My name is Arthur Kennicut. Mr. Brimmer's expecting me.

20. Oh, yes, sir. Would you go right in, please?

21. Thank you.

22. Oh, Mr. Kennicut. You're right on time.

23. - Won't you sit down? - Thank you.

24. Would you care for something to drink?

25. Oh. Some coffee, black.

26. I was just reading one of your papers. I see you've taken a stand on this...

27. federal judgeship that's giving everybody fits.

28. I'd rather not talk politics right now, Mr. Brimmer, if you don't mind.

29. Yes, of course. Thank you, Henry.

30. Well, this is your wife's file, Mr. Kennicut,

31. and the fact sheet shows five weeks now of...

32. intensive surveillance.

33. All movement, personal contact, telephone communications.

34. It's really quite extensive.

35. And, Mr. Kennicut,

36. you have nothing to worry about. It's a clean bill of health.

37. You sure?

38. Well, I'm not in the habit of making mistakes.

39. Yes. I'm sorry, of course.

40. But lately it's been like waiting for a biopsy report...

41. benign or malignant.

42. Well, in this case, benign.

43. I don't know which I feel most, relief or anger.

44. - Anger? - At myself, my idiotic suspicions.

45. But I suppose when one marries a...

46. much younger woman, one tends to become a little paranoid.

47. Well, sometimes there's good cause. In this case, not.

48. Read it at your leisure. There's not a hint of another man.

49. You know, it's funny.

50. I love her. I love her very much.

51. And I think I know her.

52. But lately I could have sworn that... Well, it doesn't matter now.

53. I feel so guilty, I'm going to start showering her with gifts.

54. She won't know what hit her.

55. Mr. Brimmer, I owe you a great deal.

56. Well, it's a pleasure to set your mind at rest, sir.

57. Thank you.

58. And you'll have my check in the morning.

59. Very kind of you.

60. Thank you again.

61. Thank you.

62. Could you hear everything?

63. Yes.

64. Well, you seem confused.

65. Well, I don't know why you asked me to come here.

66. I thought it was obvious.

67. No, not really. You...

68. What you're trying to say is that I lied to your husband.

69. Well, that's correct, Mrs. Kennicut.

70. I even went so far as to falsify the report.

71. Would you like a glass of water?

72. No. Uh, nothing, thank you.

73. In point of fact, you were having an affair.

74. The man's name was Archer.

75. It's over, Mr. Brimmer.

76. But I'm sure you already know that.

77. It was a mistake. A stupid mistake.

78. But I ended it. And it won't ever happen again.

79. Why didn't you tell my husband the truth?

80. Oddly enough, Mrs. Kennicut, I am a moralist,

81. a vanishing species, so I'm told.

82. A thousand broken marriages come across my desk,

83. infidelities, uh, domestic deceit.

84. In your case, 10 years of marriage, and one brief indiscretion.

85. So, why not bend the truth a little bit?

86. Uh, then you're not going to tell him?

87. I haven't and I won't. File's closed.

88. Thank you.

89. Thank you, Mr. Brimmer.

90. I am so grateful.

91. How grateful?

92. Mrs. Kennicut,

93. a detective agency runs on information. That's our raw material.

94. Your husband owns three newspapers, two on this coast and one on the East.

95. Whenever anything happens on the inside of business...

96. or politics or even in the jet-set.

97. I still don't understand how I...

98. Information, Mrs. Kennicut. It is our only stock in trade.

99. For example, at the moment I'm working on case...

100. where in it would be very beneficial to my client to have certain information...

101. about a federal judge that your husband is supporting.

102. Are you saying that you want me to be a pipeline to my husband?

103. No. Just a good listener.

104. Is it really asking so much, Mrs. Kennicut?

105. I can't do this kind of work alone. I need that kind of help.

106. Why don't you think about it and we'll talk again.

107. Your terrace door was unlocked, so I trespassed.

108. Well, there's no car in the front.

109. Oh. I thought you knew everything, Mr. Brimmer. We're neighbors.

110. My husband and I have a weekend house about three miles from here.

111. Ironic, isn't it?

112. Why are you here?

113. Well, why else? To discuss your...

114. What shall we call it? Your proposition.

115. I've been walking on the beach for hours, thinking.

116. And you've come to a decision.

117. Oh, yes.

118. Tell me something, Mr. Brimmer.

119. How many other rich men's wives owe you favors?

120. Do they all capitulate easily?

121. I'm waiting for your answer.

122. Oh, indulge me. I should think the blackmail-ee has some right.

123. Mrs. Kennicut, I...

124. The answer is no. No deal.

125. Is that plain enough for you? If you want a spy, you find someone else.

126. All right.

127. I'll have to call your husband in the morning and...

128. And what? Tell him I had an affair?

129. Sorry. It won't work. I'm going to tell him myself.

130. I can't believe that you'd want to do that.

131. Well, what you believe really doesn't matter, does it?

132. It's what Arthur thinks that's important.

133. Maybe he'll ask for a divorce or maybe he'll forgive me.

134. But it's time I was honest with him.

135. You're being very foolish.

136. Only if I lose. But you can't threaten me anymore, can you?

137. You just lost your leverage.

138. Oh, and one other thing.

139. I'm also going to tell him about the way you run your business.

140. I wouldn't advise that.

141. Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't.

142. Because whether he forgives me or not, he's gonna despise you for lying to him.

143. And Arthur's not the right man to have for an enemy.

144. - Good night, Mr. Brimmer. - Mrs. Kennicut, I want you to reconsider.

145. Your husband has some very powerful friends.

146. That's right. Now, if you'll please excuse me.

147. I cannot permit you to do that.

148. Well, you don't understand. It's not your choice. You let go of me!

149. Let go!

150. What's the trouble, Officer?

151. May I see your license and registration?

152. - Turn signal, right? - The right one.

153. You know, it's the second time I got stopped today.

154. I tell you, I'll get those things fixed as soon as I can.

155. You'll get 'em fixed now.

156. I would, but I'm on my way to a 187 P.C.

157. Say, are you a cop?

158. Uh, yeah, a lieutenant... Columbo.

159. Well, I'm sorry, Lieutenant, I flagged you down.

160. Well, that's all right. You're just doing your job.

161. Listen, I'll get those things fixed.

162. This license expires next week.

163. Oh. Oh, well, thanks.

164. Say, I better give you an escort. That way you'll get where you wanna go.

165. Oh. Okay. Appreciate that. But listen, not too fast.

166. Can't tell for sure, but I don't think she was killed here.

167. Looks like the body was moved.

168. And the cause of death?

169. Probably a severe concussion.

170. Print team all wrapped up, Captain. Nothing.

171. - There were two blows. - Uh, send them on home.

172. Laceration on the cheek and major contusion at the base of the skull.

173. How do you read that?

174. It's hard to say.

175. Maybe somebody hit her and she struck her head going down.

176. Lieutenant, you got that?

177. I'll know more about this after the autopsy.

178. Uh, yeah. Got a match?

179. - No. - No tire tracks we can use.

180. - Got a match? - I'm sorry. I don't smoke.

181. No prints. Just smudges.

182. - Money? - Just change. No currency.

183. You got a match.

184. No, I don't. Sorry.

185. Got a match.

186. Yeah, sure.

187. We're all finished here. You can load it up.

188. Identification and purse. Mrs. Arthur Kennicut...

189. the Arthur Kennicut.

190. How do you know that?

191. Credit card's made out to Kennicut Publications.

192. What's the problem?

193. Newspapers.

194. If we don't handle this according to Kennicut's satisfaction,

195. he's got an awful lot of front pages to beat us over the head with.

196. Thought I told you to move that out of here.

197. Lieutenant, what are you looking at?

198. The bruise, sir. The lady has a bruise on the left cheek.

199. We know that.

200. I knew you weren't listening.

201. It's Lenore.

202. I wanna get out of here.

203. Oh. Thank you, Lieutenant.

204. Would you like to be alone for a few moments?

205. No, no. I can feel sorry for myself some other time,

206. after you've caught him.

207. Well, should we get down to business?

208. Are you sure there's nothing else you want?

209. As the husband, I'm the most likely suspect, correct?

210. You don't have to worry about my feelings, Lieutenant.

211. She was killed last night. What time?

212. Between 8:00 and 9:00.

213. Well, I was in San Francisco addressing a conference.

214. I didn't fly back until this morning.

215. Uh, you have the flight numbers on that?

216. My secretary can give them to you,

217. together with my hotel and my schedule.

218. You'll check them all out, naturally.

219. Yes, sir.

220. And when you do, you'll dismiss me as a possibility...

221. and then get down to the real business of finding the real killer.

222. And I want him found, Lieutenant. Soon.

223. I'll do my best.

224. I'm sure you will.

225. Uh, Mr. Kennicut, it would help if you could tell us a few things.

226. Did your wife have any enemies?

227. Lenore never offended a soul.

228. She was an extraordinary woman.

229. I see. This question is a bit awkward, but...

230. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask it.

231. Was there ever, uh, another man in her life?

232. Naturally. More than one.

233. But that was years ago, before we were married.

234. No, sir. I meant since you were married.

235. You're speaking of an affair?

236. Well, I'm afraid we're gonna have to consider it.

237. Well, don't bother. Lenore was faithful to me in every way.

238. She had a clean bill of health.

239. All right. Clean bill of health.

240. So you don't think we ought to go in that direction?

241. No, I don't.

242. All right. Can you tell us about her habits?

243. What did she do in her spare time?

244. Nothing unusual.

245. Shopping, charity work. Sports.

246. Sports. What kind of sports did she play?

247. Oh, tennis. She was also very fond of skin diving.

248. Yes. Uh, did she do this with you, sir? Did she do it with friends?

249. With friends, Lieutenant. Female friends, in case you're wondering.

250. Female friends.

251. All right, sir. I think I've got enough to start with.

252. Thank you very much.

253. Lieutenant, I want you to understand something.

254. I married a woman young enough to be my daughter.

255. A lot of people were skeptical, but it worked for us.

256. We loved each other. We loved each other very much.

257. We even thought of having a child.

258. I want this man caught.

259. And I must warn you, I don't intend to be patient.

260. Yes, sir.

261. Oh, Lieutenant. Thanks for the coffee.

262. You're welcome, sir.

263. - Good morning, Lieutenant. - Good morning, sir.

264. Would you like some coffee, some juice?

265. Uh, nothing for me. No. Thank you very much.

266. Any progress?

267. Uh, no, sir. I hate to admit this, but, uh, nothing.

268. Not a single lead?

269. No, sir. Nothing.

270. Well, uh-Well, some of my associates think...

271. that, uh, your wife was mugged and the fella ran away with the money. But, um,

272. you see, they can't really explain how the body was moved. And, now, me,

273. I don't know. I, uh... I think she knew the murderer.

274. - Why? Excuse me. - Yes.

275. Yes?

276. All right. Be right in.

277. Why?

278. Well, her behavior seems a little strange, sir.

279. Uh, she went out to the beach house in the middle of the week,

280. which is unusual. And, uh,

281. she said to the caretaker she had some thinking to do...

282. and then she went for a walk.

283. And then the next morning her body was found on the other side of town.

284. What are you getting at?

285. I wish I knew. I don't know. It's just that...

286. it sounds to me like a woman that has a problem.

287. Now, did your wife have any personal problems?

288. - My wife was a very happy woman. - Uh-huh. Yeah, well...

289. It's just that if she did have a problem,

290. I thought that maybe it would be connected with the murder.

291. But you've no proof of that.

292. Oh, no, sir. No.

293. Lieutenant,

294. I call the City Room every half hour to find out what you people are doing.

295. So far, not a word.

296. No arrest... not even a promise of one.

297. Now you tell me you haven't a lead.

298. Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Kennicut. Uh, looks like it's gonna be slow.

299. It doesn't have to be.

300. Lieutenant.

301. Lieutenant Columbo, this is Mr. Brimmer.

302. - How do you do? - Lieutenant.

303. You've heard of Brimmer Associates?

304. Uh, no, I haven't.

305. Well, it's security and investigations, Lieutenant.

306. You might say you and I are in the same business.

307. Oh, really?

308. Matter of fact, I was talking about you just last night.

309. I ran into the commissioner at a party.

310. He speaks very highly of you.

311. Naturally, you're wondering why Mr. Brimmer's here.

312. Now, please don't take this as a reflection on you,

313. but I've engaged his firm to work on the case.

314. Well, now, Arthur,

315. I'm here in an advisory capacity, a supplemental capacity only.

316. I don't want the lieutenant to get the idea that I'm competing with him.

317. But there's no reason why a private...

318. agency and a public one can't cooperate, is there?

319. No.

320. You see, I want as much coverage in this case as possible.

321. And when Mr. Brimmer called and offered his services,

322. I thought it was an excellent idea.

323. Sure, uh, I can understand that. Uh,

324. you two know each other?

325. Well, Mr. Brimmer's done some work for me.

326. I see. I see.

327. Some kind of security work? Guards for the paper?

328. Oh, it was a personal matter. The point is, Lieutenant,

329. I told Arthur on the phone...

330. I couldn't imagine you wouldn't accept a helping hand...

331. considering the manpower shortage in your department.

332. You see, Mr. Brimmer used to be a police officer himself.

333. Well, it was a long time ago.

334. But at least I can understand your problems, Lieutenant.

335. Well, now, listen, I...

336. said to Mr. Kennicut I'm grateful for all the help I can get.

337. I'm just not sure how my superior's gonna take this.

338. That's already been taken care of.

339. It's just that Mr. Kennicut is anxious for a quick resolution to the case.

340. You can understand that.

341. - Well, naturally. - Well, good.

342. I hope the association will be beneficial to you.

343. Oh, I'm sure it will. Yeah.

344. You know, I suddenly feel very much more optimistic about this whole thing.

345. Uh, it's not based on anything, no facts, but,

346. you know, I'm a superstitious guy. You know, I believe in signs.

347. I believe in palmistry and astrology and all that kinda thing.

348. - You don't, I know that. - Oh, definitely not.

349. Let me see your hand.

350. You see, Mr. Kennicut, that's your fate line and it breaks there.

351. That was your bad fortune.

352. But it picks up again, and that's interesting.

353. That's a very good omen.

354. May I?

355. Mmm. Deep line of Apollo.

356. That's a man devoted to his work.

357. Your Apollo line crosses the mound of the Moon. You know, that's very rare.

358. And very impressive.

359. That's the sign of a man who's destined to attain a very...

360. particular kind of distinction. That's a very good sign.

361. I know you think it's silly,

362. but I'm gonna make a believer out of you before I'm done.

363. It was very nice meeting you.

364. - Nice to have met you. - Bye-bye.

365. Oh, Mr. Brimmer. Large thumb, low mound of Venus.

366. That means ambition, purposefulness.

367. That's a closet, Lieutenant.

368. Oh, gee. I'm sorry.

369. A lot of people make the same mistake.

370. Say, that's a terrific-looking set of clubs. Do you mind?

371. Go ahead.

372. These seem light. Are these ladies' clubs?

373. They were Lenore's.

374. You didn't say she played golf, did you?

375. You mentioned tennis and skin diving.

376. That's because she just started.

377. Ahh. I see. Where'd she play?

378. At the country club.

379. I see. At the club.

380. Well, I was just wondering why she just...

381. didn't keep her clubs in the locker room?

382. She did. That's an extra set she used to take lessons with.

383. Oh, I see. Well, that explains it. Right. Uh,

384. you mean she didn't take lessons at her own club? She took them some place else?

385. Sky Lane. Why, is it important?

386. It's not important. It's just...

387. I like to get that background information very precise if I can.

388. Bye.

389. Is this the right door?

390. Yes.

391. Well, what was that all about?

392. Well, I think, uh, police techniques have changed a little over the years.

393. Here, try it again.

394. And remember, keep the back of your left hand straight.

395. None of this. Just stroke it easy, all right?

396. Oh, that was good. You're getting better.

397. Well, I still don't think I'm ever gonna learn this game.

398. Oh, you just have to keep your eye on the ball,

399. watch your concentration. You're coming along fine.

400. Do we have time for another bucket?

401. Sorry, Jenny. Time's up. Tomorrow, 3:00.

402. Tomorrow then.

403. You a member of the club?

404. Uh, no. No, I'm, uh, Lieutenant Columbo. I'm from the police.

405. What's the problem?

406. I'd like to ask you a few questions about a Lenore Kennicut.

407. Uh, you knew her?

408. Not very well. I gave her a few lessons.

409. I see. Uh, well, this is your appointment book, isn't it?

410. Well, you should know. You've been looking at it.

411. Well, no offense. I was just killing time.

412. But, uh, you know, now that you mention it,

413. I see that you gave her a lot of lessons.

414. She liked the game.

415. I see. Well, look here's the thing.

416. Since you spent a lot of time with her,

417. I was wondering if you could give me some help.

418. How?

419. Was she the type of woman... now this is just between you and me,

420. was she the type of woman who was on the lookout? I mean,

421. did you ever notice her give her eye to any of the men around here?

422. Uh, look, Lieutenant. We better get one thing straight.

423. I teach them golf and I play in their tournaments,

424. but I don't get involved in their personal lives.

425. If they wanna pair off, that's none of my business.

426. Okay. All right. Uh, well, thanks a lot.

427. It's quite all right.

428. Take it easy.

429. Uh, say, uh, what kind of club is this?

430. Oh, that's a number one wood.

431. Number one wood.

432. Listen, uh, could you give me a lesson?

433. - What? - No, I'm serious.

434. You know what my trouble is? I work too hard.

435. Never out of the office.

436. I figure this: if I could take up a sport,

437. get out in the fresh air and get some exercise,

438. that'd do me some good.

439. - What do you say? - Well, I...

440. Just for a few minutes. Just to, you know, start to swing. Come on.

441. Say, you know what was a funny thing about...

442. your appointments with Mrs. Kennicut?

443. Uh, the first two were in the morning...

444. and all the rest, and I counted 13 of them,

445. uh, they were always in the middle or the late afternoon.

446. So?

447. Uh, well, I guess it's not important. I guess it's nothing.

448. Uh, wait a minute. I'll take off my coat.

449. Except that, uh,

450. now, every time you had an appointment with Mrs. Kennicut,

451. it was always the last lesson of the day.

452. I like to finish at a reasonable hour. Doesn't everyone?

453. Oh, I see. So those days, you left the club.

454. I thought maybe you'd hang around to see if you could pick up an odd lesson.

455. Well, I didn't always go home.

456. Oh, who said anything about going home?

457. Oh. What I mean is I didn't always leave the club. Sometimes...

458. Hey, listen. Can I help you out?

459. Don't say anything else. You don't have an attorney.

460. Wait until you get an attorney. This way you can hurt your case.

461. Believe me, I know something about my business.

462. I don't know nothing about golf, you know. See that's your business.

463. I know something about my business.

464. And believe me, you know, down through the years, uh,

465. you get so that you develop a nose for things, you see?

466. And, uh...

467. After a while,

468. the old nose just tells you when someone's not giving you the truth.

469. Now, uh,

470. I'm gonna forget about the lesson, 'cause I could never learn this game,

471. but I'll be back to talk to you.

472. Ground covered by the police is not our concern.

473. One thing to bear in mind, money was taken.

474. Granted, it could have been a smoke screen,

475. but sometimes the obvious answer is the correct one.

476. - Now, Brooks. - Yes, sir?

477. Check into her banking account with particular attention to withdrawals.

478. See if you can find out how much cash she was carrying that day.

479. Mr. Kennicut will be glad to cooperate.

480. Now, my theory, gentlemen, and you will gear your efforts in this direction,

481. Mrs. Kennicut was walking along the Pacific Coast Highway.

482. She was forced into a car...

483. by someone. The motive was robbery.

484. She probably fought back. In any case, she was killed.

485. The murderer drove around in a panic...

486. and finally all the way out to here, where he got rid of the body.

487. Yes?

488. Lieutenant Columbo to see you.

489. Who? Oh, yes. Yes, send him in.

490. Gentlemen, we'll finish this later. I'll call you. Thank you.

491. Lieutenant!

492. Come in!

493. Whew! Boy.

494. This is quite a building. This all yours?

495. 'Fraid so.

496. Must be a lot of business for your kinda company these days.

497. Well, we can't handle it all. Sit down.

498. Uh, listen, your secretary called.

499. She said you wanted to see the files on the case, so I thought...

500. it'd be a lot safer if I brought 'em over myself.

501. Oh. That's very nice of you.

502. It wasn't necessary, but I appreciate it very much.

503. - Uh, want some coffee? - No. No, thanks.

504. Uh, those are the duplicates.

505. Okay. Yes, this will help.

506. A lot of it. I wonder if you can give me a little rundown.

507. Well, it's just what I told Mr. Kennicut. No leads.

508. Except, you know, I was looking through that stuff last night.

509. Mm-hmm.

510. And, uh, drives my wife crazy, you know.

511. Because we have the lamp right next to the bed,

512. and the poor thing, she can't sleep.

513. Did you find anything?

514. No, not really. Well, uh,

515. take the autopsy report.

516. Yes. Here it is.

517. You see now,

518. that jibed with something that I noticed about the body...

519. the first time I saw it, and that bothered me.

520. Mrs. Kennicut was struck on the left cheek, and she had a bruise.

521. And she had a weird kinda cut.

522. Um...

523. Do you see what I mean?

524. Um, no. I don't think so.

525. Well, let's start with the cut, because that's what bothered me.

526. I said to myself,

527. "Now what in the world could have caused that kind of cut?"

528. Uh, does this lighter work?

529. Yeah, I think so.

530. Uh...

531. - Uh, wh-where was I? - About the cut.

532. Oh, yes. What could have caused the cut?

533. I said to myself, "It could be a ring."

534. A ring of... You mean a finger ring. This kind of ring.

535. Yeah, something like that. Now here's the way I figured it.

536. Suppose you were gonna strike somebody.

537. Suppose it was a woman.

538. Now, do you punch her? Well, maybe.

539. But more than likely, you hit with your open hand.

540. - Either this way or this way. - Mm-hmm.

541. Now, if you hit this way, then the ring is not gonna cause any cut.

542. So I figured it was a backhand blow like this. All right?

543. I still don't follow you too well,

544. because that would, that would put it over on...

545. - But I used my right hand, you see? - Yeah.

546. And if the ring was on the right hand,

547. then the bruise would be on the right cheek.

548. But it was on the left cheek, so the murderer was left-handed.

549. Struck her like this.

550. Which means the murderer is left-handed.

551. Well, that's interesting.

552. That's provided, of course, all these, uh, speculations are valid.

553. Yeah, I would say that we have a left-handed murderer, and, uh,

554. and an unpremeditated crime.

555. We have?

556. Oh, I think so, yes.

557. I mean, I don't think a man kills with his hands unless he's angry.

558. As a matter of fact, you know, maybe he didn't mean to do it.

559. Could be.

560. You know, maybe it was an accident.

561. You know, I got a feeling that when we find our friend,

562. it's gonna turn out that he has a terrible temper.

563. Well, maybe you're right.

564. I certainly wish I had your crystal ball, Lieutenant.

565. Why don't you let me digest this material, and then we'll talk again.

566. Okay. All right. Fine.

567. Sure. Listen. I want to thank you for the time.

568. - Listen. Thank you. - Right.

569. Oh, listen, before I forget, uh...

570. Gee whiz. I didn't wanna forget that. But, uh,

571. let's see. I had a receipt here that I wanted you to sign.

572. Well, listen, let's just make one up. It's a receipt for the files.

573. Isn't that weird? What a coincidence.

574. What's that?

575. Here, a moment ago, we were talking about left-handed people,

576. and you're left-handed.

577. And right-handed. I'm ambidextrous.

578. That means I don't favor either hand particularly.

579. It's a character trait shared by about 10% of the world's population.

580. Ten percent? No kidding?

581. - Anything else? - Uh, no.

582. No, I don't think so. Uh, oh, listen. This is a little bit off the subject.

583. My sister-in-law, she wants to buy a place out at the beach.

584. How do you like it out there?

585. Who told you I was living out at the beach?

586. Well, no one.

587. I-I noticed your car out in front of Mr. Kennicut's.

588. You know, you parked it there in the driveway.

589. As I was walking by, I saw the chrome was tarnished.

590. You know what the salt air does to it. It just eats the life out of it.

591. Yeah, that part's a problem, all right.

592. Uh, you're a very observant man, Lieutenant.

593. That's not what my wife says.

594. Well, you tell your sister-in-law that she will love it at the beach...

595. if she doesn't mind that problem with the salt air on the chrome.

596. I'll give her that message. And thanks again.

597. Thank you.

598. Oh, uh, say.

599. Have you ever been in Mr. Kennicut's house?

600. Yes, I met you there.

601. No, I didn't mean the big house. I meant out at the beach.

602. I was just wondering, because...

603. your beach house and his beach house, they're fairly close, aren't they?

604. No. It's a couple miles.

605. That close? Isn't that a coincidence?

606. I'll tell you, this case is just full of 'em.

607. Why don't you and I take a walk?

608. When you showed up today, I... I kinda panicked.

609. Then you did have an affair with her?

610. Turning on the ladies is about the only thing I do well.

611. - I'm not a very good golfer. - Yeah, go on.

612. Well, it was pretty good for a while at least for me.

613. She got the guilts.

614. Funny thing, I think she really loved her husband.

615. One day she said,

616. "Ken, this is bad for both of us. Let's call it off."

617. So we did.

618. Must have shook you up when we found her dead.

619. I couldn't believe it.

620. Then I got to thinking, sooner or later, you guys would find out about me.

621. Maybe even think I killed her.

622. The night she died, I was... I was home watching the tube.

623. No calls. No company.

624. No alibi. That's... That's why I started to run.

625. Uh-huh. I can understand that.

626. You didn't kill her.

627. No, no. I know that, but this afternoon, you gave me the impression...

628. No. You're in the clear. You got nothing to worry about.

629. You see, whoever did this, he had to wear a ring.

630. Now, you don't wear a ring.

631. Well, I could have taken it off.

632. No, not with that tan, because that would show.

633. Now listen. Tell me something.

634. Mrs. Kennicut...

635. Did Mrs. Kennicut ever indicate to you...

636. that she was concerned that her husband knew about you two?

637. No.

638. That's funny that you mention it though,

639. because, well, I was concerned.

640. Why?

641. Well, Lenore never saw anyone, but I'm sure we were being followed.

642. By who?

643. Well, there was this one guy in particular.

644. Sharp, well-dressed. I only caught him in flashes, but...

645. Well, he-he had a crew cut. Kind of an ex-marine type.

646. - Yes? - Wilcox, Mr. Brimmer.

647. The subject is meeting with Archer, and they've engaged in conversation.

648. Did you overhear anything?

649. No, sir. But Archer seems to be doing most of the talking.

650. Maintain the surveillance and report to me in the morning.

651. Yes, sir.

652. Why, you little bum, you.

653. Hello?

654. Oh, yes, he is. Leo.

655. Mr. Brimmer.

656. Yes, sir?

657. I'm sorry to trouble you at home, Leo.

658. No sweat. Just playing with Teddy.

659. Well, I've got a little something I want you to do for me.

660. It may complicate your life a little bit.

661. - When? - Immediately. Set it up through my secretary.

662. Yes, sir. I'll be in touch.

663. Every one of our operatives is a skilled marksman.

664. Actually, our policy is to avoid the use of the weapon.

665. This is our memory bank, Lieutenant.

666. Millions of bits of information,

667. all cross-filed and on tape, immediately available.

668. There are more electrical impulses in this room than in your brain.

669. Hard to believe.

670. We here at Brimmer Associates use the most up-to-date equipment.

671. Years ahead of what you use at police headquarters.

672. Company cars... custom designed for us.

673. Most of them with telephonic or radio communication.

674. Phew! It's very impressive.

675. Oh, uh, just one moment, Lieutenant.

676. One other thing that might interest you.

677. If you'll just move past this gate.

678. It's not working.

679. Well, it has to be.

680. You're carrying a gun, aren't you, Lieutenant?

681. - No. - No?

682. Oh. Well, that explains the malfunction.

683. Look here. A special system is built into the gate.

684. Now, if you had a gun, it would have registered.

685. It's just like out at the airport.

686. It's a security precaution.

687. Not that we expect our clients to be carrying concealed weapons,

688. but, uh, well, there have been a few exceptions.

689. Really?

690. Well, a guy came in here just about a month ago.

691. Harmless looking. An accountant for Mid-Century Oil.

692. We were doing a company audit.

693. Mr. Denning?

694. I asked you to show the lieutenant around.

695. I did not suggest that you discuss our confidential matters...

696. with anyone at anytime!

697. Our clients pay us to be discreet.

698. Yes, sir.

699. Won't you come in, Lieutenant?

700. Sorry about the outburst, but my people have got to learn.

701. This is a business of trust.

702. I can't have them gossiping about the clients.

703. Thank you, Henry.

704. Hope you'll have lunch with me. Like quenelle of sole?

705. Uh, well, if it's fish, I like fish. I love fish.

706. Yeah, it's fish. Drop your coat and dig in.

707. On the Kennicut case, my men have come up with an interesting lead.

708. There were two derelicts seen in the area.

709. I have their description. I sent them over to your office, copies.

710. Right. Uh, I'll have that checked out.

711. Anything new on your end?

712. Uh, oh, yeah. Yeah, we got a couple of things.

713. It seems as though Mrs. Kennicut was having an affair, you see?

714. Uh...

715. Boy, this is delicious. How do you make this stuff?

716. I'll have a recipe sent over to you. You were saying?

717. Oh, yeah. Uh, it seems as though Mrs. Kennicut, uh,

718. she was having an affair.

719. - And, uh... - Oh?

720. And, uh...

721. Oh, listen, when you send the recipe, would you send it to the house?

722. Don't send it to the office.

723. Yes, I'll send it to your house.

724. Yeah, she was having an affair with some golf pro at some country club.

725. And, uh, here's the interesting thing.

726. Not only were they having an affair,

727. but it seems as though they were being watched.

728. Now I got this nutty notion.

729. Suppose Mr. Kennicut, uh...

730. I'll tell you, it's too far-fetched.

731. Sometimes it helps to test it out. Try me.

732. It's really crazy. Well, listen. It doesn't cost anything.

733. Suppose... Suppose Mr. Kennicut...

734. hired somebody to check up on his wife.

735. And this somebody lied to him.

736. He said to Mr. Kennicut,

737. "Look. Your wife, she's got a clean bill of health."

738. Now this somebody, whoever it is,

739. he's in a perfect position to blackmail Mrs. Kennicut.

740. Now suppose she refuses.

741. See? She says, "No, I'm gonna go tell my husband."

742. I think it's a terrific motive, don't you?

743. Lieutenant, you have a marvelously convoluted mind.

744. - I do? - I like it.

745. The trouble with your theory is, not only is it very tenuous,

746. but it's impossible to prove, isn't it?

747. I, uh... Oh. Got a little tomato on that there.

748. Well, I said it was nutty.

749. What do you think? You think I oughta drop it, hmm?

750. If you believe in it, stick to it. Run it on down.

751. One other thing you should keep in mind.

752. Nothing at all to do with the case.

753. What's that?

754. Your future.

755. I'd like you to work for Brimmer Associates.

756. Me?

757. That's why I had you taken on...

758. a V.I.P. tour. We're a growing organization. You can see that.

759. You'll be a valuable piece of manpower for us.

760. Oh, boy. You really know how to toss a curve.

761. No, no, I don't mean it that way. I'm quite serious.

762. You're a good man, Columbo... up here.

763. It's time you were thinking about advancement.

764. What does a lieutenant make?

765. If you come with us,

766. I'm almost positive I can triple your yearly income.

767. Whew! Boy. I'll tell you, it's all so sudden.

768. Uh, let me talk it over with my wife.

769. Of course talk it over with your wife. Think about it carefully.

770. But remember, we want you here.

771. Listen. I'm very flattered. I mean that.

772. Just let me mull it over a little bit.

773. Well, while you're mulling,

774. consider my career.

775. If I'd stayed with the force,

776. by now, probably with luck,

777. I could have been a captain of detectives.

778. With one eye on the promotion list, and the other eye on my car payments.

779. No house by the ocean.

780. No freedom to travel. No... what would you say?

781. Power or sense of accomplishment.

782. Have I succeeded in getting through...

783. in stimulating you?

784. Definitely. Yes, sir.

785. Yes, I'm gonna give it all a lot of thought.

786. That's as much as I can ask.

787. - Uh, one thing. - Hmm?

788. If I came with you, would I still be working on the Kennicut case?

789. Well, let's see.

790. I have men who are perfectly capable of handling the Kennicut case. No.

791. I have several other matters that are far more important than that,

792. I'd like to put you on right away.

793. Lieutenant, to the knock of opportunity.

794. - Hey. - Hi.

795. Dry throat for some reason.

796. Oh, help yourself.

797. Yeah. Hey, I hope I didn't get you into trouble before.

798. I mean, I'm sorry about what happened.

799. I'm used to it.

800. Why? Does he blow off a lot of steam?

801. Well, let's just say our founding father has quite a temper.

802. No kidding. That's funny, because he...

803. he looks to me like he's a guy that's always under control.

804. Uh, correction. He's under control most of the time.

805. And when people like that let go, stand back.

806. I'll tell you why I'm interested. He offered me a job.

807. - Oh? - Yeah.

808. - Well, welcome to the family. - Yeah, here's my problem.

809. I don't know how much to ask for.

810. Whatever you can get. Top man can pull down about 30,000.

811. No kidding? That's a lot of money.

812. Gee, listen. Does anybody else here make more than that?

813. I mean, besides Mr. Brimmer?

814. Well, maybe Leo.

815. - Who's Leo? - Leo Gentry.

816. He's the boy who gets the cream of the cases.

817. Hey, I think I know him.

818. Crew cut, ex-marine type?

819. Yeah, that's Leo.

820. Teacher's pet, at least this month.

821. Hey, listen. Where can I talk to him? Maybe he can give me a few pointers.

822. Oh. I haven't seen him around yet today, but, uh...

823. I'll get his address from Personnel. Uh, don't mention it to Brimmer.

824. Who me? No. That's the last thing I'd do.

825. Higher.

826. Higher? Listen. If you go any higher,

827. you're gonna go right over the top.

828. Hey, what's going on?

829. Mrs. Gentry? I wanna tell you, you got a terrific kid here.

830. Nothing frightens him. You can't scare this boy.

831. I said higher!

832. Higher? All right, listen.

833. You go higher, and I'll eat your ice cream, all right?

834. No, I wanna eat it.

835. You wanna eat it. All right. Here you go. You're coming down.

836. Down to earth. There you are. Get your ice cream.

837. Do we know each other?

838. Uh, no. Uh, my name is Columbo.

839. I'm a lieutenant. I'm from the police.

840. My daddy's a private eye.

841. I know that, Teddy. And he's a very good one.

842. Listen. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

843. Well, is it about Leo's work?

844. Well, not exactly. I'm working on a case, and I thought maybe...

845. he could help me out. But I can't seem to locate him.

846. He went away.

847. That's right, Lieutenant. His boss called last night...

848. and sent him on a special assignment.

849. Oh, I see. Uh, do you know where he went?

850. Or, uh, how long he's gonna be away?

851. Sorry. That's the way it is with Leo.

852. He took his passport, so I guess he's overseas somewhere.

853. I see.

854. Is there something wrong?

855. No, no, no. No, not really. Listen. Maybe you could help me out.

856. Was Leo recently on a case where he was following a woman?

857. A married woman?

858. Well, it's... it's possible, but I don't really know.

859. No? You never discuss Leo's work?

860. No. It's a household rule.

861. I mean, I'm not very much at keeping secrets.

862. If Leo were to tell me anything, it'd be all over the Laundromat.

863. If you have any questions, you better ask Leo.

864. It's kinda hard to ask him, because I can't locate him.

865. He went away.

866. But why don't you talk to his boss, Mr. Brimmer?

867. He can tell you what Leo's working on.

868. Uh, oh, yeah. I, uh... Thanks.

869. I have the feeling he won't be too much help.

870. But, uh, at any rate, uh, I'm sorry I bothered you.

871. Bye-bye, Teddy.

872. F-E-L-O-P...

873. Z-D.

874. All right. Now try the next to the bottom line.

875. F-D-P...

876. T-C-E-O?

877. Perfect vision.

878. Well, it should be. This is a new prescription.

879. Here's your temporary. You should have your license in a few weeks.

880. - Thank you very much. - Keep this too.

881. Next.

882. Now, while I mark your test,

883. please read from the eye chart, third line down.

884. Did that lady say that she just got a new pair of glasses?

885. What?

886. She wasn't wearing glasses.

887. Of course she was.

888. - Excuse me. - Uh, wait. What about the eye chart?

889. And all of a sudden, I remembered this picture.

890. See? She's wearing glasses.

891. But there were no glasses on the body.

892. Now, could she have dropped them somewhere?

893. I'm sorry, Lieutenant, but you're on the wrong track.

894. Why?

895. Well, shortly after that picture was taken,

896. Lenore gave up wearing glasses. She switched to contact lenses.

897. Ah, contact lenses.

898. Just a matter of vanity. She thought she looked better.

899. Uh-huh. Did she wear 'em often?

900. All the time. She was extremely nearsighted.

901. Mr. Kennicut, where's your wife's personal effects?

902. The funeral director sent them over.

903. I've avoided going through them.

904. - Do you mind? - No, go ahead.

905. This her lens case?

906. Yes.

907. It's empty.

908. Well, she was probably wearing them when she died.

909. Well, then maybe, uh...

910. Maybe what?

911. Mr. Kennicut, I'm gonna ask your permission for something.

912. This is the world's biggest long shot. And it's gonna be painful for you.

913. But I think it's worth a try.

914. Would it help?

915. There are no guarantees.

916. All right, Lieutenant. You have a blank check.

917. Mobile Operator, the number I want is 476-7301.

918. They just arrived, and they're entering the vault.

919. The medical examiner's with them.

920. Why? What's the reason?

921. Haven't been able to find out, sir, but I did learn one thing.

922. Kennicut signed an exhumation order.

923. All right, stay there. I'll be right over.

924. Get my car ready.

925. He says it won't take long.

926. What's the trouble?

927. I don't know, sir.

928. The battery's okay, but the car won't start.

929. I'm in a hurry. Get me another car.

930. Yes, sir.

931. Have this one serviced. Tell them I want it tomorrow.

932. Yes, sir.

933. Arthur.

934. I should have phoned you, but there wasn't time.

935. Well, it's all right. One of my men told me you were here.

936. Something break?

937. I don't know yet. They're exhuming Lenore's body.

938. Tell me why.

939. Well, the lieutenant's working on a long shot.

940. Apparently, she was wearing her contact lenses when she was killed.

941. How's that significant?

942. Well, there's a chance that she might have lost one of them,

943. maybe both of them at the scene of the crime.

944. Well, Arthur, I don't like to be critical,

945. but that's more than a long shot.

946. You might as well buy a lottery ticket.

947. Maybe not. Listen to me. My nephew wears those things,

948. and half of the time they're falling out.

949. Now, the other morning at breakfast, one of them ended up in the cereal.

950. Mrs. Kennicut is not your nephew, Lieutenant.

951. Listen. Mrs. Kennicut was struck forcibly. Now let's bear that in mind.

952. Why isn't it possible that they were knocked loose?

953. Anything's possible.

954. The autopsy report said nothing about any of this at all.

955. Listen. Forget about the autopsy report.

956. I checked with the medical examiner about that.

957. They snuffed it off. They didn't even bother to look.

958. All they were concerned about was the cause of death.

959. Lieutenant.

960. Well, I hope it's not a waste.

961. What else can I do? I've got to pursue every possibility.

962. Arthur, it's almost a criminal breach...

963. to disappoint you now after what you've been through.

964. Move over.

965. Listen. We're in luck.

966. The right contact lens is missing, and it's not in the coffin.

967. Well, it might have fallen out in the morgue, I guess.

968. Or in the ambulance. Or in the street.

969. She might have lost it before she was killed.

970. Could be a hundred places.

971. That's true, but maybe...

972. and this is what we gotta hope for...

973. maybe it's at the place where she was murdered.

974. But we don't know where that place is.

975. No, sir, we don't. We don't know for sure.

976. But I've got a few hunches.

977. Unless you can be specific, I can't help.

978. I think the lieutenant deserves some room. Don't you?

979. As you wish.

980. You go your own way, Lieutenant.

981. Thank you, sir. I will.

982. Keep us posted.

983. Yes, sir. I will. I'll keep you posted.

984. I only wish one thing.

985. I wish the murderer knew about this.

986. Why?

987. There'd be a piece of conclusive evidence...

988. that might be lying around in his premises,

989. and he'd have to find it before we did.

990. I'll keep you posted, sir.

991. Lieutenant.

992. Mr. Brimmer. Listen. I'm sorry to bother you at this hour,

993. but, uh... May I come in?

994. Yes, sure. Come on in.

995. There's something I wanted to talk to you about.

996. Okay. Fine, if you can make it a little brief. It's been a late day.

997. Oh, sure. Say, this is some terrific place you got here.

998. And you got the sound of the ocean all the time, huh?

999. Well, me, I love the beach. I love it.

1000. Except when the water gets cold, then I don't like to go in.

1001. Then I like a pool.

1002. Did you say you had something on your mind?

1003. Oh, yeah. It's about that job you offered me.

1004. I've been giving it a lot of thought.

1005. As a matter of fact, uh, I haven't been able to sleep.

1006. And, uh...

1007. Boy, this is a fantastic rug. My wife would love this rug.

1008. We gotta get a new rug, and this is just the kind she wants.

1009. Fantastic piling, huh? Very soft.

1010. Bet you could lose a shoe in here for a week, you wouldn't find it.

1011. It's late. I still got a lot of work to do. You were talking about my job offer.

1012. I really don't think I'd be very happy making a change, you know.

1013. I like it where I am. It's not a bad life.

1014. Mm-hmm. Okay. Uh, is that final?

1015. I think so, yes. No hard feelings?

1016. No, no, certainly not. I just, uh...

1017. Well, I think you're making a mistake. That's all.

1018. You're probably right. You know, my wife,

1019. she's always said I don't have enough ambition.

1020. You know what it was that really made up my mind?

1021. What was that?

1022. The Kennicut case.

1023. I don't wanna give up working on it just now.

1024. Not when I'm so close to a solution.

1025. Well, uh, are you gonna let me in on it?

1026. Oh, certainly. Don't worry.

1027. You'll be the first to know. Good night.

1028. Good night.

1029. Hello?

1030. Yes, this is Mr. Brimmer.

1031. You took my car in to be repaired, didn't you?

1032. Yes, sir. Just like you said.

1033. They'll try to have it for you as soon as they can.

1034. All right then. Good night.

1035. You mind telling us what you're doing?

1036. I'd say that was none of your business, Lieutenant.

1037. Well, if you say so, but, uh,

1038. it's gonna be kinda hard to explain, isn't it? I mean,

1039. breaking and entering? That's against the law.

1040. Checking the trunk of your car. What in the world were you looking for?

1041. Papers... for a case.

1042. I thought they were here. It's an emergency.

1043. Why don't you admit it?

1044. You were searching the trunk, 'cause that's where you hid the body.

1045. All right. What's the next step?

1046. Why don't we go downtown and talk it over?

1047. Am I under arrest?

1048. - I guess you could say so. - On what evidence?

1049. I think it's gotta be more comfortable downtown.

1050. All right. Let's get this farce over with.

1051. Grab his arm!

1052. It was an accident, Arthur.

1053. It wasn't... premeditated.

1054. I hardly knew your wife.

1055. I didn't want to hurt either one of you.

1056. It happened.

1057. How'd you get it?

1058. I got it from the cut on her cheek and your ring.

1059. You never should have let me read your palm.

1060. 'Cause then I felt the ring and I felt the two diamonds...

1061. sticking out and that raised rectangular border.

1062. That matched up with the cut on her cheek.

1063. You should have taken that job.

1064. You know, we're lucky Lenore lost this.

1065. Uh, she didn't lose it.

1066. What?

1067. When I spoke to the medical examiner at the cemetery,

1068. he told me that both contact lenses were on the body.

1069. But that's impossible. If it isn't hers, whose was it?

1070. Who knows? Anyway, it doesn't make any difference.

1071. The fact that it's not the real contact lens, that doesn't count.

1072. What does count is Mr. Brimmer's actions,

1073. coming here tonight, trying to get rid of that thing...

1074. and doing it all in front of witnesses.

1075. What would you have done if the car hadn't broken down?

1076. You couldn't set up this trap.

1077. Well, I guess we would have found some other way.

1078. You know what this place reminds me of?

1079. Just seeing all these cars,

1080. you know, in our neighborhood, we had a bunch of jokers.

1081. I mean, we were a real wild bunch of guys.

1082. And we figured out a perfect way to put a car out of commission.

1083. You take a potato, you stick it in the exhaust pipe.

1084. It doesn't cause any damage, but the car won't start.

1085. It was a terrible thing to do. And I got a feeling...

1086. that the reason I became a cop was to...

1087. make up for all those jokes I played when I was a kid.