Codename: Kids Next Door 3x9

Jennifer Hale as (voice) • Jason Harris as (voice)

The true history of the genesis of the Adult-Child conflict is revealed. This is the story the Adults do not want you to hear.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY CARTOON NETWORK

2. NOW ACCESSING HISTORICAL DATABASES.

3. YOU HAVE SELECTED HISTORICAL FILE NUMBER 72368,

4. THE CREATION OF ADULTS.

5. Numbuh 1: IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WERE CHILDREN,

6. AND FOR A TIME, IT WAS PRETTY COOL.

7. THE KIDS PLAYED ON THE BEACHES, EXPLORED THE WILD FORESTS,

8. AND RELAXED IN THE FIELDS.

9. THE WORLD WAS THEIR BIG, ENDLESS PLAYGROUND.

10. THEY BUILT THEMSELVES SIMPLE TREE HOUSES,

11. AND THEY LIVED WITHOUT RULES OR NAP TIMES.

12. BUT IT WAS NOT LONG BEFORE THEY BECAME BORED,

13. AS CHILDREN DO.

14. SOON THEIR PERFECT SOCIETY GAVE WAY TO LAZINESS.

15. THUS DID CHILDREN DECIDE

16. TO CREATE ADULTS IN THEIR OWN IMAGE,

17. ONLY FATTER, FUNNIER-LOOKING, AND BIGGER,

18. SO THEY COULD REACH CEREAL BOXES ON HIGH SHELVES.

19. THE CHILDREN DRESSED THE ADULTS IN STUPID OUTFITS

20. SO THEY COULD LAUGH AT THEM

21. AND GIVE THEM GOOFY NAMES LIKE MR. PLOPPIT.

22. THEY ADULTS, LOYAL AND EAGER TO PLEASE,

23. WORKED TIRELESSLY TO DO THE CHILDREN'S BIDDING,

24. MAKING THEM PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICHES,

25. CLEANING UP ALL OF THEIR MESSES,

26. AND BUILDING LARGER AND MORE ELABORATE TREE HOUSES

27. FOR CHILDREN TO PLAY IN.

28. OHH! OH! OW! OHH-OH!

29. AND YET THE ADULTS GOT NO RESPECT FROM CHILDREN,

30. THESE STRANGE, SHORT-LEGGED CREATURES

31. WITH SNOT RUNNING DOWN THEIR NOSES.

32. WITH THE ADULTS ALREADY OVERWORKED

33. AND GIVEN NO TIME TO THEMSELVES,

34. THE CHILDREN DEMANDED THAT THEY CONSTRUCT

35. THE COOLEST MONUMENT YET — A GRAND TREE HOUSE,

36. ONE LARGER THAN ALL THE TREE HOUSES BEFORE IT

37. THAT ALL OF KID-DOM COULD LIVE IN AND PLAY,

38. AND THEY CALLED IT

39. "THE SUPER-DOUBLE-MEGA-TRIPLE TREE HOUSE."

40. THE ADULTS WORKED ENDLESSLY AROUND THE CLOCK

41. TO KEEP THIS SEEMINGLY IMPOSSIBLE VISION,

42. WHILE STILL KEEPING UP WITH THEIR COOKING, LAWN-MOWING,

43. AND ATTENDING TO THEIR CHILDREN'S WHIMS,

44. LIKE PLAYING HORSEY...

45. OH, GIDDYUP, BOY!

46. IT WAS NOT LONG BEFORE SEEDS OF DISSENT TOOK ROOT.

47. MR. WIGGLESTEIN — A NAME THAT WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.

48. HE WAS THE FIRST OF HIS KIND TO RISE UP AGAINST CHILDREN

49. IN WHAT WOULD COME TO BE KNOWN

50. AS "THE REALLY BAD THING THAT HAPPENED."

51. AT MR. WIGGLESTEIN'S TRIAL,

52. THE PROSECUTION ARGUED FOR A CHILD'S RIGHT TO PLAY HORSEY

53. WHENEVER AND AS MUCH AS HE OR SHE WANTED.

54. BUT MR. WIGGLESTEIN TESTIFIED

55. THAT HE HAD HAD A ROUGH DAY AT WORK

56. AND JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE PLAYING HORSEY.

57. PRESSED TO THE POINT OF MADNESS BY HIS CHILD'S CONSTANT WHINING,

58. MR. WIGGLESTEIN FINALLY SNAPPED.

59. IN A BLIND RAGE, HE GRABBED THE CHILD

60. AND RAPIDLY PADDLED HIS BOTTOM WITH HIS HAND.

61. THIS NEW, RATHER STING-Y ACT,

62. WAS FROM THEN ON CALLED "SPANKING"

63. AND FOREVER CHANGED THE RELATIONSHIP

64. BETWEEN KIDS AND ADULTS.

65. THE FURIOUS LEADERS OF CHILDREN

66. QUICKLY ORDERED THE IMMEDIATE EXILE OF MR. WIGGLESTEIN

67. AND EVERY ONE OF HIS KIND FROM EVERY TREE HOUSE ON THE PLANET.

68. BANISHED FROM CHILDLAND,

69. THE ADULTS SET OFF TO FIND THEIR OWN PROMISED LAND,

70. A PLACE WITHOUT TREE HOUSES,

71. WHERE CHILDREN WOULDN'T ALWAYS COMPLAIN

72. AND JUMP UP AND DOWN ON THE BED —

73. A PLACE THEY COULD CALL HOME.

74. THEY CHRISTENED THIS NEW PLACE "CLEVELAND,"

75. AND IN TIME, IT PROSPERED.

76. THE ADULTS BUILT SUBURBAN HOUSES,

77. WENT TO LECTURE SERIES, AND ATE LIVERWURST SANDWICHES.

78. EVENTUALLY, THEIR INDUSTRIES BRED PRODUCTS

79. THAT NOT EVEN CHILDHOOD COULD RESIST.

80. AND THEY CALLED THEM "TOYS."

81. BUT THE ADULTS' DEMAND FOR MONEY

82. MADE IT DIFFICULT FOR CHILDREN TO OBTAIN THESE TOYS

83. WITHOUT HAVING TO STOOP TO TASKS LIKE DELIVERING NEWSPAPERS

84. AND MOWING LAWNS FOR THE ADULTS.

85. THE CHILDREN WERE OUTRAGED.

86. WHY SHOULD THEY BE FORCED TO PAY FOR THE ADULTS' CREATIONS

87. WHEN THE ADULTS WERE CREATIONS OF THEIR OWN?

88. MANY AMONG THEM WISHED TO SIMPLY TAKE THE TOYS

89. BUT KNEW THEY COULD NOT DO SO,

90. SO LONG AS ADULTS HELD THE PAINFUL THREAT

91. OF SPANKING OVER THEM.

92. SO THE CHILDREN DEVISED A DESPERATE ACT,

93. ONE THAT KIDS WOULD ATTEMPT AGAIN IN THE FUTURE

94. WITH SIMILARLY DISASTROUS RESULTS —

95. THE DESTRUCTION OF COFFEE, THE ADULTS' ENERGY SOURCE.

96. WITHOUT IT, THE CHILDREN COULD MARCH RIGHT INTO CLEVELAND

97. AND TAKE THE TOYS FROM THE CRANKY AND POWERLESS ADULTS.

98. THE PROLONGED BOMBING OF CLEVELAND'S COFFEE SHOPS

99. LASTED FOR WEEKS,

100. BUT UNLIKE THE CHILDREN'S DELICATELY

101. AND SHODDILY CRAFTED TREE HOUSES,

102. THE ADULTS' COFFEE SHOPS HAD NOTHING TO FEAR

103. FROM WATER BALLOONS.

104. HELLO, ADULTS! THE AGE OF CHILDREN IS OVER.

105. Numbuh 1: OUTRAGED AT THE CHILDREN'S UNWARRANTED ATTACK,

106. THE ADULTS DECIDED THE CHILDREN NEEDED

107. WHAT THEY CALLED "THE BIG TIME OUT."

108. CHARGE!

109. RUN AWAY LIKE LITTLE GIRLS!

110. WHOA!

111. NO! OW, OW!

112. OH, THE PAIN!

113. THE STING-INESS! OH, THE STING-INESS! OH, MY —

114. Numbuh 1: THUS DID CLEVELAND'S TROOPS ADVANCE OUTWARD

115. IN EVERY DIRECTION,

116. AND ONE BY ONE, THE TREE HOUSES OF CHILDREN FELL.

117. IT WAS NOT LONG BEFORE CHILDHOOD'S GREATEST MONUMENT,

118. THE VERY SYMBOL OF THEIR GREED, CAME UNDER ATTACK,

119. AND THE CHILDREN RAN AWAY.

120. VICTORY!

121. THAT HURT THEM MORE THAN IT HURT ME!

122. WITH THE FALL

123. OF THE SUPER-DOUBLE-MEGA-TRIPLE TREE HOUSE,

124. THE CHILDREN FELL BACK TO THE ONLY REMAINING PLACE

125. WHERE THEY COULD ESCAPE THE POWERFUL ADULTS — THE MOON.

126. SATISFIED WITH THEIR VICTORY OVER THE EARTH,

127. THE ADULTS ALLOWED THE CHILDREN TO LIVE ON THE MOON,

128. WHERE THEY COULD MAKE ALL THE NOISE THEY WANTED

129. AND STAY UP ALL NIGHT EATING CANDY AND WATCHING CARTOONS.

130. AND FOR A TIME, IT WASN'T SO BAD.

131. BUT IT WAS NOT LONG BEFORE CHILDREN BEGAN TO YEARN

132. FOR THE OCEANS THEY ONCE SWAM IN,

133. THE FORESTS THEY ONCE EXPLORED,

134. AND THE TOYS THEY ONCE PLAYED WITH ON EARTH.

135. IT WAS AT THIS VERY SAME TIME

136. THAT ADULTS FELL VICTIM TO THE SAME SINS OF LAZINESS AND GREED

137. THAT HAD BEFALLEN THE CHILDREN BEFORE THEM.

138. THEY MISSED HAVING KIDS DOING CHORES FOR THEM —

139. TAKING OUT THEIR TRASH

140. AND SHOVELING SNOW FROM THEIR DRIVEWAYS.

141. SO THE ADULT AMBASSADORS CAME TO THE MOON BASE

142. WITH PLANS FOR A CIVIL, STABLE RELATIONSHIP WITH CHILDREN,

143. ONE WHERE THEY COULD ALL LIVE ON THE EARTH

144. IN HARMONY AND EQUALITY.

145. THE CHILDREN DECIDED TO WILLINGLY RETURN TO THE EARTH

146. AND LIVE TOGETHER WITH ADULTS

147. IN SMALL GROUPINGS CALLED "FAMILIES."

148. CHILDREN AND ADULTS COULD FINALLY LIVE TOGETHER AS EQUALS.

149. OR COULD THEY?

150. SOON AFTERWARDS, THE ADULTS CREATED PLACES

151. TO IMPRISON CHILDREN CALLED "SCHOOLS"

152. WHERE THEY DRAINED OUT ALL OF OUR MEMORIES

153. SO THAT WE'D FORGET THEM.

154. AND IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH,

155. THEY INVENTED HOMEWORK AND AFTER-SCHOOL ACTIVITIES

156. TO CONTROL US EVEN MORE.

157. AND DO YOU HEAR THAT — BZZZ! —

158. COMING FROM THE FLUORESCENT LIGHTS ABOVE YOUR HEADS?

159. THAT'S THE ADULT MICROWAVE CRANIAL JELLIFIER

160. SLOWLY TURNING OUR BRAINS INTO MILK SHAKES.

161. AND THE STUFF THEY SERVE ON THURSDAYS IN THE CAFETERIA?

162. IT'S RAINBOW MONKEY.

163. THEY'RE MAKING US EAT RAINBOW MONKEY!

164. AND THEN THEY MAKE YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH,

165. BECAUSE IF YOUR TEETH ROT OUT,

166. THEN THEY CAN'T IMPLANT THE SUBMOLAR TRACKING DEVICES

167. THEY USE TO TELL WHERE YOU GO WHEN YOU ESCAPE!

168. IT'S A LIE! EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS A LIE!

169. MR. UNO, THAT'S ENOUGH.

170. RISE UP AND THROW OFF THE OPPRESSION! RISE UP!

171. THAT'S ENOUGH!

172. BUT I WAS JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD PART.

173. MR. UNO, THAT REPORT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO

174. WITH THE SIGNING OF THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.

175. DOESN'T IT, MR. FRYBINGLE?

176. I LIKE THE PART WITH THE GIANT-ROBOT WAR.

177. WELL, I LIKE WHEN MY STUDENTS

178. ACTUALLY USE THEIR TEXTBOOKS TO WRITE A REPORT

179. AND NOT THEIR RIDICULOUS IMAGINATIONS.

180. SO I'M GIVING YOU A DOUBLE F-MINUS.

181. AW, HE'S CRAZY, NUMBUH 1.

182. HOW COULD HE NOT LIKE THE PART WITH THE WATER BALLOONS?

183. OH, AND THE GIANT TREE HOUSE WAS SO COOL!

184. THEY KNOW.

185. ALL RIGHT, KIDS NEXT DOOR, JUST ANOTHER REMINDER.

186. HAMSTERS, UNFORTUNATELY, DO NOT CLEAN THEMSELVES.

187. BUT NUMBUH 2 IS — AAH!

188. LISTEN UP!

189. I REQUIRE VOLUNTEERS FOR AN EXTRA SUPERSECRET MISSION.

190. OOH, OOH! PICK ME, NUMBUH 86.

191. IT'S TO GUARD THE ULTRAIMPORTANIC

192. KIDS NEXT DOOR CODE MODULE, RIGHT?

193. NO, THE CODE MODULE IS SAFE AND SECURE

194. IN THE KIDS NEXT DOOR MOON BASE.

195. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME WITH YOUR REVERSE PSYCHOLOGIST.

196. I'VE HEARD THAT THE CODE MODULE CAN MONITOR

197. WHEN EVERY KID IS WATCHING TV.

198. WITH INFORMATION LIKE THAT,

199. ADULTS COULD CHANGE THE TV SCHEDULE

200. AND BORIFY KAZILLIONS OF KI—

201. THIS MISSION IS FOR GIRLS ONLY!

202. GIRLS?

203. A BOY WOULD BE AN UNACCEPTABLE SECURITY RISK.

204. SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY, GIRLS?

205. GO ON AN ALL-NIGHT MISSION WITH YOU?

206. SORRY, BUT NUMBUH 5 IS GONNA BE BUSY

207. DOING THAT.

208. WHAT ABOUT YOU, NUMBUH 3?

209. WILL THERE BE POPCORN?

210. UH, SURE, YEAH. POPCORN.

211. BUTTERED POPCORN?

212. YEAH, SURE.

213. SUPER EXTRA —

214. ARE YOU IN OR NOT?

215. OKAY.

216. NOW, LET'S GO OUT AND FIND MORE RECRUITS

217. BEFORE IT GETS DARK.

218. YES, MA'AM.

219. OH, BOY, OH, BOY! POPCORN. YAY, YAY, YAY!

220. I AM GOING ON THAT MISSION NO MATTER WHAT.

221. SO, BEFORE WE BEGIN OUR MISSION,

222. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO YOUR FELLOW OPERATIVES.

223. NUMBUH 12, NUMBUH 23, NUMBUH 3,

224. AND, UH...

225. DO I KNOW YOU?

226. I'M, UH, A NEW OPERATIVE, NUMBUH 4... 30-TEEN 7?

227. OKAY.

228. WELCOME ABOARD, NUMBER 430-TEEN 7.

229. OUR MISSION IS TO HAVE... A SLUMBER PARTY.

230. A CRUDDY SLUMBER PARTY?

231. I THOUGHT THIS WAS TO GUARD THE CODE MOD—

232. I MEAN, UH, HURRAY! HOW SLUMBERIFIC!

233. I KNOW IT'S UNUSUAL,

234. BUT ME MUM IS FORCING ME TO THROW A SLUMBER PARTY,

235. AND I HAD TO INVITE SOMEONE.

236. WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE SOME OF YOUR OWN FRIENDS?

237. OH.

238. DON'T WORRY, NUMBUH 86.

239. I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND.

240. HELLO, LADIES!

241. DON'T JUST STAND THERE, FANNY PANTS.

242. LET ME TAKE YOUR PICTURE.

243. MOM!

244. FANNY!

245. OH, SHE MAY NOT LIKE ME TO CALL HER THAT

246. NOW THAT SHE'S A BIG GIRL,

247. BUT EVEN IF SHE'S A BIG FANNY NOW,

248. SHE'LL ALWAYS BE "LITTLE FANNY" TO ME.

249. BUT WHAT ARE WE ALL DOING STANDING OUT HERE IN THE COLD

250. LIKE CUCKOO BIRDS?

251. GET HERE AND, UH...

252. DO WHATEVER IT IS GIRLS DO AT SLUMBER PARTIES.

253. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.

254. DON'T WORRY. I'LL SHOW YOU. COME ON.

255. UH-UH-UH. YOU GET IN THERE, LITTLE MISSY.

256. HEAVEN FORBID YOU SHOULD MISS THE SLUMBER PARTY OF THE YEAR.

257. WELL, GIRLS, WELCOME TO MY ROOM.

258. RAINBOW MONKEYS?

259. I WOULD NEVER YOU

260. AS A RAINBOW MONKEY FANATIC.

261. I JUST CAN'T RESIST THEM.

262. AND, IF YOU TELL ANY OF THE BOYS,

263. I WILL KILL YOU.

264. AAH!

265. YOU THROW A GREAT SLUMBER PARTY, FANNY.

266. I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU, NUMBUH 12.

267. WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?

268. OOH, I WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN,

269. I FORGOT TO CHECK IN WITH THE KIDS NEXT DOOR MOON BASE.

270. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

271. OKAY, NUMBUH 3, TRUTH OR DARE?

272. TRUTH, SILLY.

273. OKAY.

274. DO YOU LIKE NUMBUH 4?

275. OF COURSE I LIKE NUMBUH 4.

276. WE'RE IN THE SAME UNIT.

277. NO.

278. DO YOU LIKE-LIKE NUMBUH 4?

279. YOU MEAN, LIKE, LIKE-LIKE, LIKE-LIKE?

280. YES! YES!

281. UH...

282. I — Numbuh 86: AAH!

283. THAT CAME FROM THE KITCHEN. COME ON.

284. I'M SORRY, FANNY,

285. BUT I CANNOT ALLOW YOU TO CONTACT MOON BASE COMMAND.

286. HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THE MOO—

287. WAIT A MINUTE. YOU'RE NOT MY MOM.

288. CLEVER DEDUCTION...

289. WHOA!

290. FOR A BRATTY GIRL.

291. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ME MUM?

292. OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT HER.

293. SHE THINKS SHE'S WON A SPA DAY AT CHEZ MASSAGE.

294. I'D WORRY MORE ABOUT WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU.

295. CHAD?

296. ME?

297. SURPRISED TO SEE YOU WEARING A BRA.

298. IT'S — IT'S NOT A BRA. IT'S BATTLE-READY ARMOR.

299. IT'S FOR DISGUISES AND STUFF.

300. WHATEVER YOU SAY, CHADERELLA.

301. YOU SHUT UP!

302. NO, YOU SHUT UP!

303. ONE LOUSY TEEN TRAITOR IS NO MATCH

304. FOR FIVE KIDS NEXT DOOR OPERATIVES.

305. MAYBE.

306. BUT I'M MORE THAN A MATCH IF I'VE GOT A HOSTAGE.

307. MY PERFECT PAJAMA PARTY RAINBOW MONKEY!

308. THAT'S RIGHT.

309. SO JUST STAY WHERE YOU ARE,

310. AND YOUR BELOVED RAINBOW DOOFUS MIGHT SURVIVE.

311. JUST DO WHAT HE SAYS.

312. I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU, TEEN BOY.

313. THE ONLY THING I HATE MORE THAN RAINBOW DORKEYS

314. IS CRUDDY TRAITORS LIKE YOU.

315. WHEW! WHEW! WHEW!

316. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

317. WHEN THERE'S A RAINBOW MONKEY AT STAKE,

318. YOU CANNOT START JUMPING AROUND LIKE A STUPID... BOY?

319. NUMBUH 4? NUMBUH 4? NUMBUH 4? NUMBUH4?

320. OH, UH...

321. HOW DARE YOU TRICK ME TO GET IN ON MY GIRLS-ONLY MISSION!

322. WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH YOU, I'LL —

323. GUYS, IF CHAD WAS SUPPOSED TO KEEP US HERE,

324. THAT MEANS SOMETHING'S GOING DOWN

325. AT KIDS NEXT DOOR MOON BASE.

326. NUMBUH 86?

327. I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON

328. AN ALL-NIGHT SUPERSECRET MISSION.

329. CHANGE IN PLANS, NUMBUH 55.

330. I NEED TO CHECK THAT THE CODE MODULE IS SAFE,

331. SO WE'LL NEED BOTH OUR AUTHORIZATION CODES.

332. VOICE AUTHORIZATION CODES, PLEASE.

333. AUTHORIZATION "YIPPER."

334. AUTHORIZATION "RAINBOW MONKEY HUGS."

335. COME ON! WE HAVE NO TIME TO LOSE.

336. HUH?

337. HEY, WAIT A SECOND.

338. HOW CAN YOU — BUT IF YOU'RE —

339. AND THOSE WERE — WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

340. NICE BRA, TEENAGER.

341. THANKS.

342. BATTLE-READY ARMOR MAKES SUCH GOOD DISGUISES,

343. DON'T YOU THINK?

344. HOLY COW! IT'S C-C-CREE!

345. UHHHH!

346. AAH!

347. UHH. WHOA-HOA-HOA!

348. YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST STAYED

349. AT YOUR LITTLE SLUMBER PARTY, KIDDIES.

350. WELL, WE DIDN'T WANT YOU CRUDDY TEENS

351. TO MISS OUT ON THE PILLOW FIGHT!

352. HYAH! HYAH! HYAH! HYAH!

353. ARMOR ON!

354. HYAH!

355. AAH!

356. AAH!

357. TAKE THIS!

358. HUH? AAH!

359. TIME FOR NIGHT-NIGHT.

360. HUH?

361. MIND IF I CUT IN?

362. AAH!

363. Numbuh 86: IT'S OVER, CREE.

364. ALL YOUR DISGUISES AND DOUBLE CROSSES

365. CAN'T CHANGE THE FACT

366. THAT WE KICK YOUR BUTT EVERY TIME.

367. RIGHT, TEAM?

368. RIGHT!

369. RIGHT! RIGHT!

370. RIGHT!

371. WRONG.

372. I'M SORRY, FANNY.

373. I REALLY DID HAVE FUN AT YOUR PARTY.

374. SHE'S GOT THE CODE MODULE.

375. NUMBUH 12? WHY?

376. WELL, I'M ALMOST 13.

377. I'M GONNA HAVE TO WORK FOR THE TEENS SOONER OR LATER,

378. SO I FIGURED, WHY NOT SOONER?

379. NOOO!

380. NUMBUH 12.

381. SHE WAS THE CLOSEST THING TO A FRIEND I EVER HAD.

382. DON'T WORRY. WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS.

383. WELL, I'M YOUR FRIEND.

384. EITHER WAY, THIS AIN'T OVER,

385. NOT BY A LONG SHOT... FANNY.

386. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1.

387. 5...

388. 4...

389. 3...

390. 2...

391. 1.

392. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1.