1. Welcome to the annual
All Valley Tournament board meeting.
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2. We are, of course, missing Daniel LaRusso
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3. as current senseis
cannot serve on the board.
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4. But we have a lot to discuss.
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5. Last year's tournament was epic.
It's time to take it to the next level.
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6. We want to make sure
that karate in the Valley
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7. gets the respect
and the honor it deserves.
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8. Can we please just calm down
and keep this professional?
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9. - We cannot spend money we don't have.
- Enough of this bullshit!
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10. Oh, it might be bullshit to you,
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11. but some of us
actually care about tradition.
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12. Oh, don't go there again, George.
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13. Clearly the blue mats
led to a surge in attendance.
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14. - Come on!
- Why would we go back to red mats?
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15. As you can see, our core demo
are middle aged men and their sons.
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16. But we have seen an uptick
in young female interest.
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17. We need to speak to that audience.
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18. How about instead of karate
we put on a baking class?
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19. It's a wonder
you've been divorced three times, George.
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20. Ooh!
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21. I've said it in years past,
and I'll say it again.
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22. We have a vibrant
and active community of local celebrities.
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23. What about a grand marshal?
Or a musical performance?
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24. One of the dads on my son's fencing team,
he's a talent agent.
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25. Oh God. This is the Malcolm-Jamal Warner
debacle all over again.
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26. We all had egg on our faces that day.
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27. First of all, this is nothing like that.
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28. I'd go through the proper channels...
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29. You couldn't get Louie Anderson
to show up for a free buffet, Ron.
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30. - You're out of order, Daryl.
- You're not a judge.
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31. - Why do I have this gavel?
- Not anymore.
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32. - Just put the gavel down.
- Drop this thing right now!
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33. You drop it!
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34. Let me get something straight.
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35. We're sanctioning an event
where boys are encouraged
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36. to kick and punch girls?
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37. Have any of you thought for a moment
this could be perceived as... problematic?
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38. Remember, this proposal
will revolutionize the tournament.
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39. This is our legacy.
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40. By a show of hands,
do we all agree on the changes?
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41. The motion passes by unanimous support.
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42. It's time to step into the future.
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43. Send out the letters.
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44. God help us all.
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45. Easy. Save some for Cobra Kai.
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46. If we're ever allowed to stand up to them.
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47. Hey, everyone, gather round. I have news.
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48. The All Valley committee just announced
big changes for the tournament.
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49. What kind of changes?
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50. Well, see for yourself.
It's a whole new ball game.
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51. - They're introducing skills competitions?
- Yep.
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52. Kata, board breaking, weapons display?
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53. And there's gonna be
a separate girls' division. So that means...
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54. There'll be two All Valley champs.
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55. What does that mean
for the bet with Cobra Kai?
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56. There's a Grand Champion trophy
for whichever dojo wins the most points.
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57. All I know is the girls' division is mine.
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58. That just leaves the skills and the boys.
I'm counting on you guys.
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59. Who, us?
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60. Yeah, we're a bunch of Rudys.
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61. Sure, we're good
for the occasional inspirational moment,
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62. but we're not exactly center mat material.
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63. - We were better off with Miguel and Hawk.
- Or he who shall not be named.
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64. Rhymes with "Dobby."
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65. Look, I know
you're missing some of your friends.
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66. And of course I wish Robby was here.
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67. But it's time to put the past
behind us, all right? Don't worry.
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68. By the time the tournament comes around,
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69. you're gonna realize this was
the best thing that could've happened.
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70. This is the worst thing
that could've happened.
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71. Skills competition, bullshit.
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72. Kata isn't karate. It's dancing.
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73. What's this girls' division?
Thought they were all about women's lib.
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74. They ought to man up
and take a punch like the rest of us.
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75. Sensei, it sounds like
we could use some female students.
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76. Fine.
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77. Do any of you know any girls?
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78. Of course you don't.
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79. - There's this girl from the debate team.
- Debate team?
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80. We need killers, not more nerds.
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81. All right, go run some laps.
Maybe it'll jog your memories.
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82. Try not to breathe too much.
There's black mold in the corner.
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83. Look, Sensei, I-I know
things got heated at Miyagi-Do,
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84. but with these new changes, I think
having Sam on our team would really help.
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85. Maybe if you talk to Mr. LaRu...
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86. I have nothing to say to him.
We're better off without him.
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87. It's time for us
to take care of our own business.
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88. We'll find a girl champ, don't worry.
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89. - All right, now get running.
- Yeah.
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90. Ah, this is just...
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91. Perfect.
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92. First LaRusso
and Johnny Lawrence split, now this.
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93. Manna from heaven, baby.
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94. Neither have the fighters
to compete in both divisions.
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95. We're gonna win this tournament
before it even starts.
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96. - Where would you like this?
- What's all this?
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97. Top-of-the-line gear to go
with our new state-of-the-art equipment.
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98. These kids need to see
we settle for nothing but the best.
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99. Now is the time
to show our strength and reinforce.
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100. May I?
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101. Cobra Kai is gonna be the only destination
for karate in the Valley.
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102. I want our logo on billboards, T-shirts...
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103. And on the backs
of both All Valley champions.
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104. Now we're talkin'.
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105. You're a hard girl to find.
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106. Avoiding your Auntie Kandace now,
sweetheart? Ignoring my calls?
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107. Yeah, what do you want?
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108. Well, to see you, of course.
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109. And to ask
if my sister's disability came in yet.
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110. What, need funding for another scam?
That money's for us.
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111. Come on. My sister always promised
to take care of me. She taught you better.
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112. She taught me
to recognize a low-class leech.
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113. Mind your manners.
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114. When your mom kicks the bucket,
who do you...
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115. Ooh. Quick temper.
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116. Just like your old man.
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117. When your mother passes... gracefully,
then what?
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118. You think your daddy's
just gonna show up out of the blue?
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119. I'm all you got.
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120. You don't give a shit about us.
You want her survivor benefits.
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121. I was at little Bobby's
fourth birthday party just last year.
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122. Brandon is eight.
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123. And next year I'll be 18.
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124. Hey. Who do you think's
gonna win a custody battle, huh?
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125. You're a high school dropout
and a criminal.
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126. - So are you.
- Yeah, but I know how to play the game.
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127. A judge is gonna take one look at you
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128. and laugh you straight outta court.
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129. See ya at the funeral, sweetheart.
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130. Tick tock.
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131. Okay. This is it. This is where
most of the girls' teams practice.
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132. - Sure you'll be able to convince 'em?
- Please.
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133. When I went to this school, the only thing
I was better at than karate,
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134. and I was pretty good at karate,
was talking to chicks.
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135. Watch and learn, Diaz. Watch and learn.
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136. Teen girls wanted.
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137. You gotta be under 18 or it's a no-go.
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138. No, not like that!
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139. Let me guess, posting photos on Facebook?
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140. You know what photos would look rad?
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141. A photo of you
kicking someone in the face.
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142. We meet out
at the old Webber Industrial warehouse.
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143. We're looking for badass chicks
just like you.
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144. An abandoned factory
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145. smack dab between the pipe supply
and the burned-down Chuck E. Cheese...
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146. - Trust me, the chicks are gonna love this.
- Hey, too much!
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147. You gotta get it into every groove.
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148. It's about molding highlights
to emphasize curvature.
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149. Hey, ladies, wanna work up a real sweat?
Where's your beach ball?
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150. Here's the beach ball.
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151. Try Eagle Fang Karate,
the most bitchin' dojo in the...
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152. Valley.
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153. And the best part is we have
a whole stable of hot young dudes,
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154. like my man Miguel over here.
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155. You like what you see?
He's not even in the top five.
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156. We got babes and everything,
whatever floats your boat.
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157. I'm asexual.
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158. All right, he's a sexual too.
Check him out. Total stud.
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159. So what do you say?
You ready to become an Eagle?
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160. I don't get it. I thought girls today
were supposed to be tough.
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161. - Why can't we find anyone for our team?
- Maybe not everyone needs karate.
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162. Especially girls
who are already on sports teams.
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163. Hey, Miguel.
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164. Hey, Moon, what's up?
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165. Some perv was creeping on the track team
so we're gonna practice inside.
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166. - What are you doing here?
- Recruiting for our new dojo.
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167. Eagle Fang Karate.
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168. Yeah. You know, you should join, actually.
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169. Really? Okay. Yeah, that sounds like fun.
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170. Wait. Do... Do I have to hit anyone?
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171. Hell yeah, you do.
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172. Oh, no, then I-I'm out. I... I can't do
the whole physical aggression thing.
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173. You should ask my ex.
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174. Hawk? Yeah...
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175. No, my... My other ex.
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176. She's the best athlete in school
and she's not afraid to get into a fight.
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177. Sounds like the badass babe
we've been looking for.
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178. Yeah, you might want
to take a different approach with her.
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179. Want some pointers?
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180. Absolutely.
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181. Hold on, I'm coming.
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182. Oh. So you're knocking this time.
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183. Mrs. LaRusso, I... need your help.
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184. Okay. Come on in.
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185. You remember the way?
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186. So the principal said
he'd consider letting me back into school
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187. because of my situation at home,
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188. but your family would have to sign off.
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189. Well, I'm glad
you wanna get your life back on track.
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190. Going back to school is a big step.
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191. - But I need you to promise me something.
- I'll stay away from Sam. I swear.
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192. That's great. But, um...
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193. I want you to get support.
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194. Talk to someone.
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195. You've been dealing with a lot.
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196. You have been. For a while.
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197. You should... talk to a therapist,
a guidance counselor,
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198. the Dalai Lama, it doesn't matter.
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199. Just someone who isn't karate related.
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200. I... Whatever it takes, I'll do it.
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201. I need this.
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202. So today was a setback,
but the boys, they're gonna improve.
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203. You're gonna be fighting
lots of new opponents.
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204. - And...
- What?
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205. What the hell is she doing here?
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206. - Where the hell have you been?
- How'd you even get in here?
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207. Uh, your mom's left the key
under the gnome since kindergarten.
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208. You should think about
increasing the security given,
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209. you know, the karate war.
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210. - But that's not important now.
- What's so important?
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211. Didn't you hear? The All Valley
has separate gender divisions.
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212. I mean, do I look like Miyagi-Do's
best hope at defeating Robby Keene?
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213. I mean, Mr. LaRusso says that anyone
can be the hero, but I'm not Batman.
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214. I'm more like Alfred.
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215. You're Batman.
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216. Oh right, I forgot, you're not a DC guy.
Whatever. Forget Batman, you're the Hawk.
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217. Yeah, not anymore. So...
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218. Hey, at least it looks better
than the last time I saw it.
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219. Everyone at school knows what happened.
It's embarrassing.
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220. Who cares what they think?
Besides, it'll grow back.
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221. It doesn't matter.
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222. I ruined my reputation, talked a big game,
and just proved I was an asshole.
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223. To Moon, to Miguel,
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224. and especially you.
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225. I got what I deserved.
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226. Hey, I forgave you, remember?
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227. And I don't care
if you have a Mohawk, or a mullet,
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228. or pigtails,
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229. Miyagi-Do needs you.
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230. I'm not going back to Miyagi-Do.
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231. That's great. You're choosing Eagle Fang
over your best friend.
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232. I'm not going back to Eagle Fang either!
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233. I-I'm done with karate, man.
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234. I quit.
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235. - I mean, she's fast, she's strong...
- Girl's a natural Eagle.
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236. Oh, which one is yours?
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237. Well, that one looks good to me.
Haven't talked to her yet though.
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238. I'm still working on my approach.
Got any advice?
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239. - Okay, remember what Moon told you?
- Yes, I will be awake.
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240. Uh, no. No, no, no. Be woke.
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241. Hey, Piper. I wanted
to introduce you. This is...
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242. Sensei John Lawrence of Eagle Fang Karate.
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243. Let me tell you why my dojo is perfect
for a modern young woman like yourself.
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244. We live in a world
where you gotta be an alpha to survive.
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245. You're either a killer
or you're dead meat.
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246. You gotta be a man.
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247. At Eagle Fang we confront that phrase
and make it empowering for all.
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248. We teach anyone who identifies as female
to embrace their queenly strength
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249. and tear down the neo-masculine hierarchy
to confront internalized sexism.
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250. Sounds inclusive. But what about
non-binary and gender fluid?
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251. Yes, fluids are crucial.
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252. If you don't hydrate,
it affects performance.
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253. And he's funny.
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254. Well, actually,
I have been meaning to join a dojo.
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255. I don't wanna be the last person
who doesn't know karate.
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256. Then today is your lucky day.
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257. Hey, Piper. Come check this out.
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258. - Okay, cool. I'll be there.
- All right.
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259. I can't believe you pulled that off. Did
you know what any of those terms meant?
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260. Do I look like I pee sitting down?
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261. What were you even thinking?
She didn't smash up the house enough?
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262. I know this is difficult, but...
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263. You wanted her to go to jail
and now you want her back in school?
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264. I don't want this rivalry
dominating your life anymore.
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265. Dad can't get along
with his high school rival
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266. and I'm supposed to go to school
and be best friends with a psycho?
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267. Johnny's and my differences
have nothing to do with...
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268. Yes, it does. Because you guys
just do whatever you want.
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269. You don't stop to think
that maybe I liked training with Johnny,
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270. or I don't wanna get
my face torn off again.
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271. As long as she's in school,
she has something to lose.
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272. She's not going to hurt you.
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273. You're just gonna believe her?
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274. You'll listen to what she has to say,
but nobody listens to what I have to say?
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275. God!
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276. - Thanks for the backup.
- Hey, Amanda.
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277. I mean, she has a point.
Why are you helping this girl?
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278. Did I tell you
about the time I was arrested?
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279. - Sure. What? It was a high school prank.
- Right.
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280. And by "prank," I meant I took
a baseball bat to my math tutor's car.
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281. With her in it.
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282. You... what? Why?
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283. She was having an affair with my dad.
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284. My parents' marriage was falling apart,
I thought the world was ending,
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285. and I blamed her
for taking it all away from me.
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286. I know you didn't get along
with your dad, but I did... I had no idea.
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287. I was charged
with misdemeanor reckless endangerment.
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288. I didn't walk my graduation.
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289. And then my parents divorced anyway.
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290. Why did you never tell me?
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291. Just worked hard to put it behind me.
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292. And it's not exactly a first date story.
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293. Or an any date story.
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294. I was young and upset.
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295. And I'm lucky it didn't ruin my life.
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296. Tory's young and upset.
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297. - And maybe she's a lost cause, but...
- We'll never know if we don't try to help.
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298. All I want to do
is try to break the pattern, Daniel.
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299. Kids like Tory get the same messages
delivered to them over and over again
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300. the same exact way.
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301. Sometimes they just need a wake-up call to
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302. change course.
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303. She's not the only one
who needs a wake-up call.
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304. You can't quit.
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305. I already told you, I made up my mind.
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306. Hey, you're the one
that got me into karate, remember?
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307. I was perfectly happy
playing Dungeon Lord after school,
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308. but you put me in a situation
where I had to join a dojo.
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309. And you know what?
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310. It was the best thing
that ever happened to me.
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311. I got stronger, gained confidence,
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312. got the girl of my dreams...
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313. Even if she ends up leaving me
for some hot Aussie dude she meets there.
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314. Hell, I'm actually excited
about the All Valley tournament.
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315. I never thought I'd say that.
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316. But it's not gonna be as exciting
if you're not there.
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317. Okay, you're gonna make me do this.
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318. Excuse me...
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319. You said you deleted these.
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320. Oh, I say a lot of things.
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321. Which tends to be
a polarizing attribute of mine.
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322. - Why are you showing me these?
- Because this is who you are.
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323. A loser?
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324. My best friend.
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325. I know you think that
that Mohawk defined who you are,
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326. but it didn't.
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327. Not to me.
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328. Eli, Hawk...
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329. hell, call yourself Cornelius
for all I care.
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330. None of that changes the fact
that you're my Binary Brother.
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331. Whether you're number one, or a zero.
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332. What's up?
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333. Robby.
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334. Of course.
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335. - This'll only take a minute.
- I can save you that minute.
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336. You realized you're training
a bunch of wimps
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337. and you need a male champion.
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338. Let me guess, your sales pitch is,
"I'm here to rescue you."
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339. "This isn't who you are, Robby.
I can help." Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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340. I've said all that before.
It's time to break the pattern.
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341. I heard what you did to Eli.
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342. - I just gave him what he deserved.
- I'm not here to judge you.
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343. I'm here to tell you
what's gonna happen to you next.
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344. Terry Silver popped up
out of the blue, right?
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345. He did the same thing to me.
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346. He'll seem decent enough,
show you a few moves,
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347. and then he'll worm his way in.
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348. Chip away at you.
And push you past your limits.
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349. You'll become stronger
than you thought possible,
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350. but Silver won't stop there. Okay?
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351. This man is sick and twisted,
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352. and when he's done with you,
you won't be you anymore.
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353. One day you'll find yourself
with some kid's blood all over your shirt
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354. and you'll hope
it's not too late to change course.
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355. He's not interested, Mr. LaRusso.
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356. New equipment just got in.
Why don't you go check it out?
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357. It's considered unethical
to poach students.
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358. You had your opportunity with Robby,
now he's with us. You should respect that.
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359. Respect. Res...
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360. You are not a sensei.
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361. You're a con man.
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362. Manipulating people to turn them
into something they're not.
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363. I didn't turn you
into anything, Danny Boy.
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364. I brought out what was already inside.
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365. That's bullshit. You tortured me.
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366. Please.
You were a hothead.
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367. All I had to do was wind you up
and get out of the way.
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368. And...
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369. if you're being honest with yourself,
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370. you know you liked it.
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371. You were powerful, free.
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372. You just don't wanna admit there's always
been a little Cobra Kai in you.
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373. We'll settle this on the mat.
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374. And when we win,
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375. Cobra Kai, and you,
will be out of business.
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376. One of us will be.
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377. If you're gonna use this place
as a conference room, buy something.
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378. T-Take your time.
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379. All right, so she's a little late,
no big deal. Just a few minutes.
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380. Uh, 20 minutes, actually.
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381. Okay, uh, look, I-I'll DM her.
See where she is.
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382. Okay...
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383. - Oh no.
- What?
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384. Uh...
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385. Cool!
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386. Nothing but the best for the best.
Can't wait to kick ass with Cobra Kai.
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387. She joined Cobra Kai?
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388. Uh, looks like they made designer gear
for all the new students.
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389. - They got a bunch of new recruits.
- Yeah, great.
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390. That was a big waste of time.
I even learned feminism.
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391. We can't give up.
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392. If we want first place,
we have to compete in the girls' division.
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393. With who? We don't have Cobra Kai's money.
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394. We have no chance at finding a champion.
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395. I wasn't a champion when you met me. Okay?
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396. You made me one,
saw something in me that no one else did.
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397. Maybe you just have to see that
in someone else.
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398. We just have to think outside of the box.
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399. Everybody start thinking outside the box!
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400. Whatever that means.
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401. Sam?
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402. Surprise?
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403. I can't believe
you drove all the way to Santa Barbara.
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404. I can't believe you live in Santa Barbara.
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405. - Your house is beautiful.
- Thanks.
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406. My dad got a job offer from UCSB
that he just couldn't pass up.
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407. Wait, so the fight at school
had nothing to do with it?
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408. Oh, it had plenty to do with it.
My parents were pissed.
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409. I broke a kid's nose.
Who knew these things were lethal weapons?
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410. You didn't drive two hours
to talk about the butts I've kicked.
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411. What's going on?
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412. It's just that Tory wants
to come back to West Valley.
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413. My parents want me to be cool about it.
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414. We're talking about
the same overprotective LaRussos
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415. who made me wear a helmet
on your trampoline?
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416. She sold them some sob story.
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417. I just feel like
I don't have control of my life.
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418. When I started my new school,
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419. there was this girl
in my homeroom, pink for days.
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420. Looked like she walked out
of a Malibu Barbie beach house.
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421. She gave me a look that I'd seen before.
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422. I just knew
she was gonna be my next bully.
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423. But I wasn't gonna let
the cycle repeat itself.
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424. So I walked up to her,
and you know what I did?
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425. Is this gonna be
another front wedgie story?
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426. I introduced myself.
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427. I told her I liked her shoes.
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428. I didn't, but it seemed
like the polite thing to do.
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429. I told her I was new,
asked if she could introduce me around.
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430. How did that go?
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431. She's my bestie.
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432. My new school bestie.
You'll always be the OG.
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433. I attacked my problem head on.
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434. I struck first.
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435. Just like Johnny taught you.
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436. My parents moved here
to get me away from the karate drama,
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437. but they can't stop me using the lessons
I learned from Sensei Lawrence.
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438. I set my own terms.
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439. Set yours.
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440. Capital punishment is a legal penalty
of the US state of California.
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441. As of March 2019,
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442. further executions are halted
by an official moratorium
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443. ordered by government officials.
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444. What are you doing here?
Debate was for nerds.
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445. It is. Which is why we're ditching it.
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446. You're right. I'm not giving up
on the girls' competition.
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447. - I'm thinking outside the box. Look.
- Okay.
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448. - Sensei, uh...
- You ever see the movie Ladybugs?
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449. I had to sit through it
with a babe, long story.
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450. Anyway, this coach,
the guy gets no respect,
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451. he's got this all-girls soccer team
that totally sucks.
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452. He gets his stepson to dress
like a chick and they start winning.
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453. - You want me to dress like a girl?
- What? No.
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454. I need you to win the boys' competition.
I'm thinking of Penis Breath.
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455. Not the best fighter, but he stands a shot
against the chicks. What do you think?
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456. A lot of things.
I don't know where to start.
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457. My opponent is full of crap.
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458. His evidence is garbage,
his arguments don't make sense,
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459. and I was bored to death.
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460. Which is ironic, considering
we're debating the death penalty.
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461. Uh, you're not gonna deduct points
for lack of decorum?
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462. Screw decorum.
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463. Wanna know what I really think
of the death penalty?
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464. My book!
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465. Choke on it.
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466. I cede my time.
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467. Sensei, that's the girl I told you about.
She loves extracurriculars.
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468. Can it, Bert.
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469. I just found
the most badass girl in the Valley.
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470. Gentlemen, welcome
to the All Valley tournament.
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471. I know you've been in fights before,
but a tournament is different.
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472. There's no backup coming.
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473. It's just you,
on your own, in the spotlight,
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474. with the crowd cheering your name.
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475. Demetri, be the hero. Come on.
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476. The spotlight is yours.
Everyone you know is counting on you.
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477. - I'm the hero.
- Meat, Meat, Meat! Meat, Meat, Meat!
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478. - Meat, Meat, Meat, Meat, Meat, Meat, Meat!
- Ready?
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479. - Meat, Meat, Meat, Meat, Meat!
- Fight!
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480. Hi-yah!
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481. - Dammit!
- No! No. That was great.
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482. That kick was awesome, all right? You just
have to be careful you don't expose your...
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483. Well,
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484. look who decided to come back.
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485. It's good to see you, Eli.
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486. Or is it Hawk?
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487. Oh, doesn't matter. I'm just here
to do what I can to help out the team.
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488. That's good.
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489. The more help, the better.
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490. But first, you need a gi.
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491. Good to have you back, man.
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492. Oh, hey. I didn't know you were in here.
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493. I didn't want to interrupt your boys club.
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494. Hey, Sam.
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495. - About yesterday...
- No, Dad, it's fine.
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496. You and mom were right.
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497. It's time to leave
the past behind us, right?
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498. Yeah. I'm proud of you, Sam.
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499. It's never easy being the bigger person.
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500. Okay, you're good to go.
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501. It's her.
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502. I heard you let me back in, LaRusso.
So I guess I should...
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503. I don't know what game you're playing,
but I'm not scared of you.
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504. You're not in control here. I am.
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505. My parents might fall for your bullshit,
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506. but if you so much as look at me funny,
I will kick your ass for a third time.
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507. I'm coming for you, bitch.
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