1. Nice moves, new kid.
What do you call that? The loser limbo?Copy !req
2. No, no, no, no. I think it's called
the I'm-trying-not-to-shit-my-pants dance.Copy !req
3. Good one, LaRusso!Copy !req
4. Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?Copy !req
5. Oh, hey, man.
Got in early to knock this sucker out.Copy !req
6. Smooth as a Smurf's ass, right?Copy !req
7. That deck was
the perfect teachable moment.Copy !req
8. You just tanked my entire week!Copy !req
9. The kids know they're here to learn
karate. You don't need to trick 'em.Copy !req
10. I'm sorry. What was your lesson plan?
Line 'em up and throw forward strikes?Copy !req
11. I go by feel. Some days,
I'll toss them in a cement mixer.Copy !req
12. Other days, I'll find
a hornet's nest for them to kick.Copy !req
13. Let's not do this, okay?Copy !req
14. Our students want us to find a way
to work through our differences.Copy !req
15. I know you don't want to join Miyagi-Do,
but at least respect it.Copy !req
16. Well, respect's a two-way street.Copy !req
17. You respect my style of karate?Copy !req
18. You gotta understand, man.Copy !req
19. I was taught
that karate is for defense only.Copy !req
20. It's always gonna be tough
to respect Cobra Kai.Copy !req
21. - You mean Eagle Fang.
- Oh, come on, Johnny.Copy !req
22. Is there a difference?
You're still teaching aggression.Copy !req
23. Some kids need a little aggression.Copy !req
24. You know what?Copy !req
25. Let's give it a try.Copy !req
26. I teach you Miyagi-Do.
You teach me Eagle Fang.Copy !req
27. Deal.Copy !req
28. No, don't need to shake on it.Copy !req
29. Hi, I'm Tory.
We waiting on anybody or is it just you?Copy !req
30. It's just me.Copy !req
31. - Can I start you off with something?
- Actually, there's only one thing I need.Copy !req
32. That's for you
to stay the hell away from my daughter.Copy !req
33. - Wait, you're...
- Yes, I am.Copy !req
34. You came to my job?Copy !req
35. I tried calling your parents.
No call back. Big surprise.Copy !req
36. Should I have kicked in your front door?Copy !req
37. Is that more your speed?Copy !req
38. Every day in my house,Copy !req
39. there are little reminders
of the mess you made.Copy !req
40. I see my daughter
covering up her bruises and scars.Copy !req
41. The only reason
you aren't behind bars right nowCopy !req
42. is because she asked me
not to drag this ordeal out.Copy !req
43. So you can have your little tournament.Copy !req
44. But if you touch
one hair on her head before then,Copy !req
45. you'll be scrubbing toilets
in prison for the rest of your life.Copy !req
46. If you're lucky.Copy !req
47. Excuse me, miss?Copy !req
48. I think my soup is ready.
I see it on the counter.Copy !req
49. Yeah, just a minute.
I think you should leave.Copy !req
50. I will.Copy !req
51. I'm not here to cause a scene.
Just here to deliver a message.Copy !req
52. But I need to know
that you got that message.Copy !req
53. And what if I didn't?Copy !req
54. Well, then that would be a mistake.Copy !req
55. Is everything okay here, ma'am?Copy !req
56. I don't know. Is it?Copy !req
57. Miss? I don't want my soup to get cold.Copy !req
58. - Will you shut the hell up?
- Tory!Copy !req
59. That's it. Put away your uniform.Copy !req
60. I've had enough of your attitude.
You're fired.Copy !req
61. Yeah, thanks a lot.Copy !req
62. This place got a B
on the health inspection.Copy !req
63. They hide the sign so you can't see it.Copy !req
64. And I saw one of the cooks
dip his balls in the miso.Copy !req
65. Uh, you know what? You can cancel my soup.Copy !req
66. Yes!Copy !req
67. Nice!Copy !req
68. Yes!Copy !req
69. Okay, let's switch it up.Copy !req
70. New kid, get in there.
We'll get you some gym clothes next week.Copy !req
71. LaRusso, Thompson, you're in too.Copy !req
72. Let's go!Copy !req
73. All right. Sub out!Copy !req
74. 'Sup, Slade?Copy !req
75. Ha. Look who it is.Copy !req
76. I'll cover the ballerina.Copy !req
77. Come on, LaRusso, you gotta stop that!Copy !req
78. I'm open!Copy !req
79. Hey! Break it up! New kid, get the ball!Copy !req
80. Oh shit!Copy !req
81. Dude, you just got facialed!Copy !req
82. Bust out some of that karate!Copy !req
83. I told you, okay?Copy !req
84. I-I-I can't. Those moves cause,
like, permanent brain damage.Copy !req
85. Whatever, LaPusso.Copy !req
86. Sorry, man, it was an accident.Copy !req
87. Bullshit!Copy !req
88. Hey, come on.
Give the new kid a break, Ant.Copy !req
89. We've got a game to finish.Copy !req
90. Yeah. Yeah, all right, Lia.Copy !req
91. Just ignore them. Dope shirt, by the way.Copy !req
92. Thanks. I'm...Copy !req
93. Kenny.Copy !req
94. Remember, side, side.Copy !req
95. I could have this finished
in two minutes with a paint sprayer.Copy !req
96. Then you'll be missing
the point of the lesson.Copy !req
97. You know,
you can't just layer paint on shit.Copy !req
98. You need a heat gun
to get down to the base.Copy !req
99. Maybe a right angle scraper.Copy !req
100. That's not the point.Copy !req
101. If you wanna learn
how to fight defensively,Copy !req
102. you gotta change your instincts.Copy !req
103. Well, my instincts say
this is a waste of time.Copy !req
104. That's quality.Copy !req
105. You missed a spot. Over there.Copy !req
106. You know what? Screw this.Copy !req
107. What? You quitting already? That's it?Copy !req
108. Maybe you can do this, but I can't.Copy !req
109. Defense is boring.Copy !req
110. Offense will always be more badass.Copy !req
111. Fruit in your beer? Figures.Copy !req
112. Hi-yah!Copy !req
113. Holy shit.Copy !req
114. How the hell did you do that?Copy !req
115. Miyagi-Do may seem boring,Copy !req
116. but don't forget it saved your ass
a few weeks ago from Kreese.Copy !req
117. And that wasn't the first time.Copy !req
118. - Come on, who's the loser now?
- You suck!Copy !req
119. Hi-yah!Copy !req
120. Nobody was more badass than Mr. Miyagi.Copy !req
121. Remember, side, side.Copy !req
122. There's a reason
Miyagi-Do is difficult to learn.Copy !req
123. These blocks are incredibly precise.Copy !req
124. Each one is designed
to overcome a specific attack.Copy !req
125. Show me wax on, wax off.Copy !req
126. The more you learn Miyagi-Do,Copy !req
127. the tougher you are to defeat.Copy !req
128. Except for one tiny flaw.Copy !req
129. Their entire style is reactive,Copy !req
130. which means
all their moves are counter moves.Copy !req
131. That means that we are in control.Copy !req
132. And we can use that to set traps.Copy !req
133. Show me paint the fence.Copy !req
134. Sorry. Just part of the lesson.Copy !req
135. Enough!Copy !req
136. Nichols, in my office.Copy !req
137. Continue the lesson.Copy !req
138. What is it?Copy !req
139. Something happen with your mother?Copy !req
140. No. It's nothing.Copy !req
141. I lost my job, okay?Copy !req
142. And it's not so easy looking
for another one when you're on probation.Copy !req
143. Do you feel sorry for yourself?Copy !req
144. Uh...Copy !req
145. When something bad happens,Copy !req
146. you have two choices.Copy !req
147. You let it tear you down
or you let it build you up.Copy !req
148. Sometimes a step backwards...Copy !req
149. opens a new path forward.Copy !req
150. Now,Copy !req
151. what happened?Copy !req
152. - Hey, Dad.
- Hey, champ. You just get home?Copy !req
153. - Did I get the time difference right?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
154. How was your first day?
Make any new friends?Copy !req
155. I'm still getting to know everyone.Copy !req
156. It's not easy to switch
to a new school mid-year.Copy !req
157. But if you do things the right way,
you'll see results.Copy !req
158. I will.Copy !req
159. My boy.Copy !req
160. How's Mom doing?Copy !req
161. She's at the office a lot.Copy !req
162. Yeah, she works hard.Copy !req
163. She needs you now.Copy !req
164. She's had a tough time since...Copy !req
165. what happened to your brother.Copy !req
166. - I know.
- You're the man of the house now.Copy !req
167. You shouldn't have to be, but you are.Copy !req
168. Can you rise to that for me?Copy !req
169. - Yeah, Dad.
- I love you, champ.Copy !req
170. I miss you.Copy !req
171. Love you too.Copy !req
172. Bye.Copy !req
173. Dope shirt, by the way.Copy !req
174. One day,Copy !req
175. over 400 years ago, there was a fisherman.Copy !req
176. His name was Shimpo Sensei.Copy !req
177. Ambition without knowledgeCopy !req
178. is like a boat on dry land.Copy !req
179. That's it.Copy !req
180. Big circles.Copy !req
181. Right circle.Copy !req
182. Left circle.Copy !req
183. Walk on the left side of the road, safe.Copy !req
184. Walk on the right side of the road, safe.Copy !req
185. Walk down the middle...Copy !req
186. Get squished like grape.Copy !req
187. Center yourself, Johnny.Copy !req
188. Look inward.Copy !req
189. Find your balance.Copy !req
190. There you go.Copy !req
191. Now show me the moves.Copy !req
192. That's it.Copy !req
193. Balance good.Copy !req
194. Karate good. Everything...Copy !req
195. This thing isn't even level.Copy !req
196. Or maybe you have
a little imbalance inside of you.Copy !req
197. I still don't see me
using any of this in a real fight.Copy !req
198. I've been trying to tell you,
Miyagi-Do is not about fighting.Copy !req
199. You know what Mr. Miyagi said
was the best defense in all of karate?Copy !req
200. High outside block against an ax kick?Copy !req
201. The best defense is "no be there."Copy !req
202. You mean don't be there?Copy !req
203. The guy teaches you centuries
of his ancient family karate,Copy !req
204. you can't help him with English?Copy !req
205. Don't even go there with me, Johnny.Copy !req
206. Are we done, or do I have to sit here and
freeze my nuts off to find inner peace?Copy !req
207. No. We're done.Copy !req
208. You got a taste of Miyagi-Do.Copy !req
209. That was the goal.Copy !req
210. Good.Copy !req
211. Well, get ready.Copy !req
212. 'Cause tomorrow,
you'll learn real man karate.Copy !req
213. Oh, I can't waitCopy !req
214. to hear all about
the illustrious history and wise teachingsCopy !req
215. of the Eagle Fang.Copy !req
216. Check this out.Copy !req
217. Mm.Copy !req
218. Wow.Copy !req
219. She's cool.Copy !req
220. What else do I do for fun?Copy !req
221. Ooh.Copy !req
222. Draw anime.Copy !req
223. Listen to music.Copy !req
224. Every now and then,
some Dungeon Lord cosplay.Copy !req
225. Don't tell anyone I told you that.Copy !req
226. Send.Copy !req
227. Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.Copy !req
228. Oh my God.Copy !req
229. He cosplays this shit?Copy !req
230. Ask him who's his favorite character.Copy !req
231. Dr. Scribblebottoms.Copy !req
232. Dr. Scribblebottoms?Copy !req
233. Oh my God.
That is, like, the lamest character.Copy !req
234. He's like this stupid chipmunk
with, with big ears and a lab coatCopy !req
235. who, like,
he mixes, like, health potions and...Copy !req
236. How do you know so much?Copy !req
237. I just, you know, uh, overheard
some, some nerds talking about it.Copy !req
238. I got an idea. Tell him you, I mean Lia,Copy !req
239. and a bunch of other Dungeon Lord losers
are meeting at Balboa Park tomorrow night.Copy !req
240. Tell him to cosplay as Mr...Copy !req
241. Scrapalas or whatever.Copy !req
242. Uh, why? Why? What's the plan?Copy !req
243. Just do it!Copy !req
244. Man, just do it.Copy !req
245. Balboa Park.Copy !req
246. Yeah.Copy !req
247. Where do you wanna go?Copy !req
248. He has no clue.Copy !req
249. This is gonna be great.Copy !req
250. Excuse me. Do you have
any Klare Melk Truffle Gouda?Copy !req
251. Let me go look.Copy !req
252. Oh. Shit.Copy !req
253. Butterfingers, huh?Copy !req
254. - What are you doing here?
- Well, it's honeycrisp season.Copy !req
255. This store has
the best produce in the Valley.Copy !req
256. Don't you need to be
a legally-mandated distance away from me?Copy !req
257. Other way around.Copy !req
258. Technically, you're the one in violation.Copy !req
259. I know about the deal you struck
with my husband and Johnny,Copy !req
260. and I just want you to know
that whatever happens at that tournament,Copy !req
261. I will make sure you lose.Copy !req
262. Is that why you're sabotaging my student?Copy !req
263. I wasn't trying to get Tory fired.Copy !req
264. But that girl's asking for trouble.
She broke into my house.Copy !req
265. Attacked my daughter.Copy !req
266. Sam's gonna have scars
for the rest of her life.Copy !req
267. I respect you defending your daughter.Copy !req
268. I think that's what all mothers should do.Copy !req
269. Unfortunately, Tory doesn't have a mother.Copy !req
270. Or one that's healthy enough
to defend her.Copy !req
271. That girl has to pay the bills.Copy !req
272. Put food on the table.Copy !req
273. All by herself.Copy !req
274. - I didn't know that.
- Well, now you know.Copy !req
275. So you might want to leave the girl alone.Copy !req
276. Or deal with the consequences.Copy !req
277. Mrs. LaRusso.Copy !req
278. Found that Gouda.
Last one too. Must be your lucky day.Copy !req
279. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
280. Remember,Copy !req
281. not all kids are as lucky as yours.Copy !req
282. Sweet.Copy !req
283. Come on, Johnny, time to wake up.
I'm ready for Eagle Fang training.Copy !req
284. That sounded as ridiculous out loud
as I thought it would.Copy !req
285. You sure you're ready?Copy !req
286. As I'll ever be.Copy !req
287. The hell. Wha...Copy !req
288. Where the hell did you take me?
An abandoned factory?Copy !req
289. This is how psychos in horror movies act,
you know that?Copy !req
290. You wanna circle around things
your whole life?Copy !req
291. Wait for problems
to show up at your doorstep?Copy !req
292. That's not what an eagle does.Copy !req
293. Here, at Eagle Fang,Copy !req
294. we do not follow.Copy !req
295. We attack.Copy !req
296. We lead.Copy !req
297. We grow into what we were meant to be.Copy !req
298. And what were we meant to be, Johnny?Copy !req
299. Men.Copy !req
300. An eagle embraces the pain!Copy !req
301. All your life, the world's been trying
to make you less of a man.Copy !req
302. Light beer? Veggie burgers?Copy !req
303. Automatic transmissions?Copy !req
304. Might as well
let another dude bang your chick!Copy !req
305. You realize the coals are supposed
to be shoveled into the forge?Copy !req
306. Don't question me, Newark!Copy !req
307. Keep shoveling!Copy !req
308. Let's go, LaRusso.Copy !req
309. Start climbin'.Copy !req
310. Toughen up those soft hands. Push!Copy !req
311. Can't wait to get hit.
Gotta strike before the hit gets to you.Copy !req
312. - Isn't this a blocking exercise?
- No!Copy !req
313. When you think you should be defending,
you should be offending!Copy !req
314. The human response to danger
is fight or flight,Copy !req
315. but an eagle's response
is fight and flight.Copy !req
316. Move it! Be aggressive! Attack!Copy !req
317. That's it! Attack!Copy !req
318. Good, LaRusso! Good!Copy !req
319. Manliness is next to godliness.
You got this.Copy !req
320. Find your limit and soar past it.Copy !req
321. - What does this have to do with...
- Quiet!Copy !req
322. Keep climbing, LaRusso!
You got this! Focus. Fight!Copy !req
323. Put your fangs in those balls. That's it.Copy !req
324. - That's it!
- Come on!Copy !req
325. - Let's go, LaRusso! You got this! Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
326. That's what I'm talking about!Copy !req
327. Soar like an eagle, baby!
Yeah, keep going!Copy !req
328. Yeah!Copy !req
329. Where is she?Copy !req
330. Oh my God!Copy !req
331. Look at him.Copy !req
332. Come on, look at him!
Look at this loser. Oh, man.Copy !req
333. Oh, I think he's wearing glitter.
Get a close-up of that.Copy !req
334. - Hey.
- Stop it.Copy !req
335. You gotta post that.Copy !req
336. No, don't! Don't!Copy !req
337. - Oh shit! He just broke your phone.
- You gonna let him get away with that?Copy !req
338. I wasn't trying to break it.
You guys were being assholes.Copy !req
339. What did you just call us?Copy !req
340. Pick him up.Copy !req
341. All right, LaRusso. Let's see your moves.Copy !req
342. Yeah! Bust out some of that Miyagi shit.Copy !req
343. - I, uh...
- Come on, LaPusso!Copy !req
344. - Don't call me that.
- Then hit him!Copy !req
345. Come on!Copy !req
346. Do it!Copy !req
347. It's locked.Copy !req
348. Hey, there's a hole!Copy !req
349. Go, go, go!Copy !req
350. Where'd he go?Copy !req
351. I don't know. Come on, this way!Copy !req
352. So what are we doing here?Copy !req
353. After a hard day of honest work,
we're crushing beers,Copy !req
354. watching guys
beat the hell out of each other.Copy !req
355. Does this mean
I've passed my Eagle Fang training?Copy !req
356. I didn't say training was over.Copy !req
357. What are you talking about?Copy !req
358. Look, you're tougher than a prima donna,
I'll give you that.Copy !req
359. But sometimes
you gotta show your toughness.Copy !req
360. Look at those guys.Copy !req
361. Think they play by the rules?Copy !req
362. The only rule in this league
is intimidation.Copy !req
363. That's why striking first is so important.Copy !req
364. Ooh!Copy !req
365. That guy's a rat.
That's spearing. At least a double minor.Copy !req
366. Hey, Ref! Spearing!Copy !req
367. Double minor.Copy !req
368. Oh, that's bullshit. Come on!Copy !req
369. Oh, he looks pissed.Copy !req
370. - What the hell, dick?
- Hey, he's the one that called it.Copy !req
371. Your boyfriend do all your talking?Copy !req
372. No, I'm just explaining the rules to him.Copy !req
373. Oh yeah? Come explain it to me down here!Copy !req
374. I know what you're trying to do,
all right?Copy !req
375. I'm not gonna get in a fight
with that guy.Copy !req
376. He says you're a pussy
and he can kick your ass any day.Copy !req
377. - Hey, enough! All right? Cut it out!
- Oh, come on down, Sally. Let's go.Copy !req
378. I... I didn't say that.Copy !req
379. I need to apologize for my friend here.
He's a little... unstable.Copy !req
380. We're working through it. Sorry.Copy !req
381. You see what I just did there?
That's called de-escalation.Copy !req
382. You should try it sometime.Copy !req
383. You know what? I actually had fun.Copy !req
384. Not even you
could ruin hockey for me, Johnny.Copy !req
385. Ah, you see?Copy !req
386. And did they win
'cause they played better defense?Copy !req
387. No, they won 'cause they beat
the crap out of the other team.Copy !req
388. I'm not gonna change my stripes, okay?Copy !req
389. I just now have
a little better understandingCopy !req
390. of what goes on in that head of yours.Copy !req
391. So you're saying you respect Eagle Fang?Copy !req
392. Yes. The way
I respect a madman with a nuke.Copy !req
393. I'll take it.Copy !req
394. Hey, shithead!Copy !req
395. Hey, good game, guys.
No hard feelings, right?Copy !req
396. Because of you,
I spent half the game in the box.Copy !req
397. Yeah, but you still eked out a win.
It was great.Copy !req
398. So you can kick my ass
any day of the week. Is that right?Copy !req
399. No, I didn't say that. He...Copy !req
400. Looks like your lover boy bailed on you.Copy !req
401. Wait, wait, wait. You know who this is?Copy !req
402. It's LaRusso Auto.Copy !req
403. The chopping prices guy from TV?Copy !req
404. He's got that smoking hot brunette
running the place.Copy !req
405. Easy guys. That's my wife.Copy !req
406. Oh.Copy !req
407. - Maybe I'll take her for a test drive.
- I'll ride shotgun.Copy !req
408. I got the backseat to myself.Copy !req
409. Kick ass!Copy !req
410. Nice work, LaRusso.
Way to assert your dominance.Copy !req
411. Where the hell were you?Copy !req
412. No be there.Copy !req
413. And make sure that Louis doesn't
go anywhere near the Doyona reps.Copy !req
414. Just lock him
in a supply closet or something.Copy !req
415. I'll put a cannoli under a giant net.
He'll go for it.Copy !req
416. I'm serious.Copy !req
417. So am I. Do I not look serious?Copy !req
418. - Oh shit.
- Shit? What?Copy !req
419. What's shit? Why are we saying...Copy !req
420. Shit.Copy !req
421. You think this makes up for it?
Leaving this at my doorstep?Copy !req
422. I don't need your sympathy.Copy !req
423. I just wanted to make sure
you had enough food.Copy !req
424. - Yeah, I feed my family.
- Look, why don't we go talk in my office?Copy !req
425. We're talking here.Copy !req
426. Okay, maybe we just lower our volume? Huh?Copy !req
427. Gandhi once said that nobody
can hurt me without my permission.Copy !req
428. Take one more step towards me
and I'll snap you in half like a pencil.Copy !req
429. Why do I step
into these karate situations?Copy !req
430. Look, Tory,Copy !req
431. I just want all of this to be over.Copy !req
432. Yeah, well, don't worry.
It'll all be over soon.Copy !req
433. When I humiliate your daughter
at the All Valley in front of everyone.Copy !req
434. Thanks for lighting a fire under me.Copy !req
435. I needed that.Copy !req
436. - What have I done?
- Hey.Copy !req
437. Should I start
wearing protective gear to work?Copy !req
438. And follow-up,
should I be calling the police?Copy !req
439. No.Copy !req
440. And not a word of this to Daniel.Copy !req
441. Ever since I started
this new school,Copy !req
442. my life has been miserable.Copy !req
443. They chase me.Copy !req
444. Beat me up.Copy !req
445. - Hey.
- Stop it.Copy !req
446. It's not gonna stop.Copy !req
447. I don't know how I'm gonna keep going.Copy !req
448. I don't feel safe.Copy !req
449. One of them even knows karate.Copy !req
450. Karate, huh?Copy !req
451. What's so funny?Copy !req
452. Hey, don't worry about it, little bro.Copy !req
453. I know a guy who can help.Copy !req