1. This next song is about all the ways...
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2. men rock!
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3. When we say "men," you say "rock"!
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4. Men!
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5. Bridgette, you're so hot!
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6. At least we have Ron.
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7. That was so embarrassing.
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8. C'mon, we had four people there!
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9. Last month was two.
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10. Our fanbase doubled.
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11. I'm just saying, maybe there's something more worthwhile
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12. we could do the third Wednesday of every month.
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13. Do you not believe in us anymore?
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14. I don't think we're ever going to be successful.
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15. Guys, you're never gonna believe what I saw online!
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16. Wait. We're... popular?
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17. I can't read any of the comments.
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18. Emily and Bridgette! I'm Mirek.
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19. Minister of arts for splendid nation of Cromania.
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20. And huuuge big fan of your bops!
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21. Every song so good!
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22. Is my pleasure to invite amazing music stars
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23. to visit our country.
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24. You will fly on private jet, is so sick,
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25. and perform for brave, strong President Agoustan!
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26. Anyway, hit me ups!
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27. This is so cool!
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28. Don't you think this seems sketchy?
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29. A stranger from the Internet offering to fly us
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30. Somewhere On a private jet?
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31. I get five of those in my DMs every day.
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32. C'mon, Emily.
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33. This is our shot.
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34. Please, please, please, please.
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35. Fine. But if we get murdered, I'm quitting the band.
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36. Are they... fans of this plane?
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37. They're here for you!
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38. Em-I-ly!
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39. Bri-duh-jit!
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40. Em-I-ly!
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41. Bri-duh-jit!
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42. Ahhh. This feels right.
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43. Bridgette and Emily.
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44. It's me, Mirek!
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45. From Cool Video?
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46. Kiss on cheek, kiss on cheek, best friends.
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47. Welcome to Cromania.
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48. Very fun, very safe.
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49. Don't worry, they're loaded.
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50. Come, we have full schedule of events.
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51. Then you meet President Agoustan.
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52. Wonderful man, perfect penis, let's ride in sweet limo!
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53. - Ooooh. -Aaah.
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54. - Wow. -Okaaaay.
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55. Welcome to Presidential Palace.
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56. Sooo many tax dollars.
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57. You sleep here in finest suite, no one even watch.
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58. Sketchy.
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59. No, he said they don't watch.
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60. Is there a bathroom in here?
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61. Beautiful bathrooms, no one watching.
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62. But way on other side of palace.
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63. You make later.
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64. - I gotta make now. -You guys go.
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65. I'll hang back with Candice and we'll catch up.
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66. We go now. Have a good shit!
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67. Do you really need to pee?
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68. Or are you just anxious about mom becoming a celebrity
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69. because it makes you feel like less of a man?
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70. What?
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71. Thank you so much.
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72. What an honor to meet beautiful Emily!
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73. Oh! Thank you!
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74. And Bridgette, the funny one.
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75. Wait, what? I'm the hot one.
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76. Ha ha! Classic Bridgette!
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77. What is happening?
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78. Emily, you are such role model for women of Cromania.
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79. Right, Svetmoosha?
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80. Permission to agree?
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81. Oh, my gosh. You guys are such sweeties.
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82. Okay, Em, you were right, this is sketchy.
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83. It's fine.
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84. They love us, they get us, they're giving us fish.
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85. Thank you? No, to sign.
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86. Come on, Bridgette.
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87. It's her first fish.
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88. I mean, obviously we want mom to succeed,
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89. but it's normal if her success makes you feel inadequate.
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90. Dad! Bathroom!
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91. I'm at defcon pee.
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92. You're right.
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93. Let's focus on what's important,
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94. not on the idea that we'll lose her forever.
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95. Okay, they'll know where the bathroom is.
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96. This looks promising.
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97. Almost time for big concert.
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98. I am legit freaking out!
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99. But first we go to Croval office
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100. to meet indestructible leader Agoustan,
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101. powerful hairline, breath like Jasmine.
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102. Emily, I have a very bad feeling about this country.
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103. Something's going on here.
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104. Yeah.
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105. Something is going on here — you're jealous.
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106. You can't handle that I'm the hot one.
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107. That is absolutely part of it!
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108. But not all of it.
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109. Absolute Unit Agoustan, it is my pleasure to present
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110. Emily and Bridgette.
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111. Ah, welcome to my glorious homeland.
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112. Oh. Okay, okay.
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113. Entire nation awaits your performance.
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114. We broadcast live on every channel.
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115. All two!
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116. Your music so inspirational.
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117. See, Bridgette? We're inspirational.
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118. Mirek will project patriotic slideshow behind performance.
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119. If Emily's like Katy Perry,
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120. then I guess I'm like Orlando bloom.
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121. Oh, yes, yes, yes!
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122. Candice, wait!
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123. Oh, were you guys in line?
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124. We base whole society on your music.
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125. Your song "Stupid Dreams" teach population
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126. to stop dreaming of better life.
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127. Sketchy yet?
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128. We are way beyond sketchy.
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129. And what's going on here?
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130. Emily is most perfect role model.
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131. She has child, dresses conservatively,
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132. and hides hair under modest wig.
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133. Em, did you hear that?
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134. About the wig? How your hair looks fake?
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135. Okay, we should get out of here.
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136. Showtime!
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137. Ready to impose your catchy bops on subservient masses?
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138. Ooooh, so sorry, but I think we gotta postpone.
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139. I'm feeling a little raspy?
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140. And I've got diarrhea!
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141. That sounds serious.
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142. But show must go on.
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143. Do you really have diarrhea?
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144. Because I have something for it in my bag.
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145. We can't do this.
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146. If we perform, we'll reinforce their evil system.
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147. I'm sorry I got carried away by the fame and hotness
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148. and didn't notice the oppression and misogyny.
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149. People of Cromania, and women!
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150. Amazing music stars Emily and Bridgette
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151. will perform national anthem, "Men Rock"!
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152. We can't keep singing this.
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153. Then let's sing something else.
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154. Seize them!
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155. Emily! We gotta get out of here!
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156. This country hates women!
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157. We noticed.
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158. We found these women in an underground jail.
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159. They were arrested for not laughing
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160. at their husbands's jokes!
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161. Mirek, don't!
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162. Guys, your new song!
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163. Incredible. Women doing men things?
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164. Having choices?
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165. Poof!
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166. I had no idea.
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167. Come, I fly you out of country.
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168. Thank you, Mirek.
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169. There's that smile!
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170. You should smile more, it's so pretty.
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171. You were so close.
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172. Bridgette, you're still hot!
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173. In my country, Bridgette is a 3.
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174. Well, looks like them ol' Santa Ana winds
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175. are blowin' once again.
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176. Ahhhhh! They sure do bluster.
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177. But sometimes, when troubles got ya down,
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178. them winds can stir up exactly what you need.
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179. Now, maybe you didn't grow up a horse girl.
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180. But I did.
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181. And it taught me something.
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182. Not something you'd learn at a four year college.
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183. It's more of a life lesson type deal.
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184. If you got troubles...
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185. ain't nothing can fix 'em like a horse.
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186. Anybody want to play with me?
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187. Sorry, sweetie. I'm late for an install.
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188. Finishing this work thing, just give me two quick hours!
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189. Now in the county of Los Angeles,
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190. it's illegal to keep a secret horse in a rental property.
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191. So Candice did what any horse girl would do.
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192. She hid that dang pony in the garage.
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193. Aah!
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194. Oh no, me late! Ah!
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195. Horsejacker!
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196. Take my wallet.
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197. Maybe me not late.
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198. We gotta hide you.
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199. Well, ah, it's enough of being alone in this room!
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200. Uh, okay...
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201. Ugh, is everyone in Dubai?
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202. Couch horse! Ooh, pics or it didn't happen!
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203. Hashtag do it for the gram.
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204. What are you doing?
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205. No. No, you're right.
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206. Why can't I just be in the moment?
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207. Thank you for helping me find inner peace.
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208. Ugh. I've had these elbow patches since undergrad.
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209. I look like a schmuck.
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210. Quick, hide!
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211. Aagh! I love your hair.
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212. Ohmigosh. You're so soft.
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213. Are you kidding me?
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214. 30 bucks? I can't afford that!
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215. What is this, tenured professor magazine?
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216. Tree horse! Waaaaaait a minute.
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217. I need cash, you're a horse.
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218. Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
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219. Okay, what about Tupelo Genie?
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220. Got it. A drinker.
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221. And Salt Bray?
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222. What about My Cousin Whinny?
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223. He's got unexamined childhood trauma
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224. from witnessing the death of his father?
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225. Hard pass.
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226. Oooh, what about Extremely Loud and Incredibly Horse?
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227. That's the one!
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228. Okay, here goes next month's rent.
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229. Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
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230. Oh, my God! Oh, my God, we're rich!
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231. We're rich, you dumb horse!
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232. Say, mister, lookin' sharp.
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233. Mind if I take a picture of you and your filly?
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234. Tomorrow I'm thinking it's between Call Me By Your Mane
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235. and Won't You Me by Neigh-bor.
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236. Huh
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237. Whoaaa!
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238. We've got to hide you!
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239. Oh. gaw!
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240. I'll never wow 'em down at the rink.
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241. When it comes to roller skating, I'm a basic bitch.
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242. Or am I?
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243. Yeah.
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244. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
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245. They're cheering for you, too.
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246. Double IPA?
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247. Straight-edge? That's cool.
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248. - Quick, under here.
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249. I miss you every day, Sergeant Spurs.
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250. You're no barbecue grill.
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251. It can't be...
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252. Let's go!
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253. Power slide!
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254. Whoa!
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255. Thank you for one last day.
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256. Ooh.
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257. Hey, Mr. Salt. Mr. Emily!
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258. I need you to write my speech for the lettuce convention.
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259. Can you come up with some jokes?
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260. I will "endive" right in.
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261. That's amazing!
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262. Haha endive...
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263. Ugh, I'm never gonna get a break.
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264. Hi, is this Animal Control?
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265. Yeah, I got a friggin' horse in my backyard
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266. and I do not need this today.
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267. Yes, he's chubby, Brown, big beautiful eyes...
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268. He's obviously an angel. I love him.
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269. You know what? I'll call you back.
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270. Ahhhhhh!
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271. Thanks for reminding me to take time for myself.
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272. - Mom?
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273. - Candice! -You found my secret horse?
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274. Hey, what are you guys doing with my secret horse?
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275. Your secret horse? He loves me.
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276. Uh, no, what he loves is installing TVs with me.
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277. Can somebody hand me some clothes?
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278. Emily, get away from my best friend!
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279. That's my therapeutic companion!
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280. What's it gonna be, horse? Who do you love?
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281. You've gotta choose.
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282. Where is he going?
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283. Maybe he wants to go back to his home.
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284. Come back, Pickles!
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285. You call him Pickles?
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286. Well he's definitely not a "Liam".
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287. - Train! -That's an even worse name!
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288. No, train!
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289. No train, no gain.
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290. Though their time with him was brief.
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291. Pickles had changed all their lives.
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292. Forever.
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293. Or had he?
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294. Wait, did we all imagine him?
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295. Even if Pickles wasn't real,
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296. we all have a little horse inside of us.
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297. Oh, no, wait. He's real everybody.
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298. Well, of course he was real.
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299. If you thought Pickles was just a metaphor,
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300. well, you're dumber than some kind of asshole.
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301. Happy trails, cow pokes!
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