1. So, to prevent
further mishaps,Copy !req
2. the children will no longer
be learning acupuncture.Copy !req
3. - Who cares?Copy !req
4. Aaaand this parent-teacher
meeting is done.Copy !req
5. Is what I will say
as soon as we're done.Copy !req
6. Oh, come on.Copy !req
7. Oh, man.Copy !req
8. I should not've drunk
three Powerades.Copy !req
9. Shh! Just cross your legs.
It's almost over.Copy !req
10. And there is one last thing
before I let you go,Copy !req
11. something very exciting.
Ooo.Copy !req
12. - Oh! Something exciting?
- What could it be?Copy !req
13. Maybe this wasn't
a waste of time.Copy !req
14. An opportunity.Copy !req
15. If you're up to it.Copy !req
16. - Wait. What's he doing?
- What's he got?Copy !req
17. - Is that a 4x8?
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
18. We need a volunteer
to be room parent!Copy !req
19. Hunh! Ugh!Copy !req
20. Aaah!Copy !req
21. You guys, you guys, the drama —
do we need it?Copy !req
22. You just have to send
a bunch of e-mailsCopy !req
23. and raise money
for new playground equipment.Copy !req
24. Josh, whatever you do,
don't raise your...Copy !req
25. hand?Copy !req
26. Whoa, what'd I miss?Copy !req
27. We doing a purge?Copy !req
28. Joshua, would you like
to volunteer to be room parent?Copy !req
29. That sounds pretty cool.Copy !req
30. Josh? Dooooon't!Copy !req
31. [ Slo-mo ]
I'llll dooooo iiii—Copy !req
32. Yes!Copy !req
33. We have our room parent
for the year!Copy !req
34. Whoo!
- He didn't mean it!Copy !req
35. It was a spasm!Copy !req
36. Ooh, I'm so sorry,
accidental hand raisesCopy !req
37. are legally binding.Copy !req
38. Josh, do you realize
what you've signed up for?Copy !req
39. Your life as you know it
is over.Copy !req
40. It's an opportunity
to help the schoolCopy !req
41. and do something
for Candice.Copy !req
42. And it seems fun.
Check out this swag.Copy !req
43. That is a novelty thermometer
for the fundraiser.Copy !req
44. More like fun-raiser.Copy !req
45. I'm gonna go get Candice.Copy !req
46. Huh?Copy !req
47. Let me help you with that,Copy !req
48. you absolute hero.Copy !req
49. Oh, thanks, uh...Copy !req
50. Nikki.
I'm Billy's mom.Copy !req
51. I just wanted to say
how impressive you are.Copy !req
52. It takes a real man
to volunteerCopy !req
53. to be room parent
and put on a fundraiser.Copy !req
54. I think of it
as more of a fun-raiser.Copy !req
55. Oh, my God!Copy !req
56. You're so funny!Copy !req
57. Thanks.
I think so, too.Copy !req
58. Look, I don't want
to overstep, but...Copy !req
59. What if we were
co-room parents?Copy !req
60. Really?
Yeah!Copy !req
61. I did it for my older kids,
so I know how hard it can be.Copy !req
62. But I bet
if we put our faces,Copy !req
63. I mean heads
together,Copy !req
64. we might even have
a little sex.Copy !req
65. I mean fun.
Wow!Copy !req
66. That sounds great.
Thanks, Nikki.Copy !req
67. Let's do coffee tomorrow.Copy !req
68. Talk about the fundraiser,Copy !req
69. explore our feelings.Copy !req
70. Oh, wow.Copy !req
71. Do you work out?Copy !req
72. Actually, don't answer.Copy !req
73. I want to find out
organically.Copy !req
74. Who was that?Copy !req
75. She just offered to be
my co-room parent.Copy !req
76. Really? Why?Copy !req
77. Maybe she just likes
fundraising.Copy !req
78. Nobody likes fundraising,
Josh.Copy !req
79. Yeah!
What's fun about raisins, Josh?Copy !req
80. What's so funny?Copy !req
81. Ah, room parent stuff.Copy !req
82. You wouldn't understand.Copy !req
83. This is her now!Copy !req
84. I'd better take it.Copy !req
85. Nikki, hey!Copy !req
86. What am I wearing?Copy !req
87. She's got it bad.Copy !req
88. Oh, she's just aching
for that J-dog D.Copy !req
89. Pfft!
What are you talking about?Copy !req
90. Josh is a type.Copy !req
91. That hummingbird nose...Copy !req
92. His fragile hips.Copy !req
93. The way his eyes tear up
when he tastes mustard.Copy !req
94. Dude's got a body
like the jack of clubs —Copy !req
95. better than a 10
and paper thin.Copy !req
96. No, they're just
joking around.Copy !req
97. Going out to meet Nikki!Copy !req
98. She told me to wash my balls.Copy !req
99. Pfft! So random.Copy !req
100. I've seen that look before.
Let me guess —Copy !req
101. taking revenge on the cartel
that killed your partner?Copy !req
102. I think Josh
is being seduced.Copy !req
103. He doesn't realize it yet,
but once he does,Copy !req
104. I'm worried
it'll be too late.Copy !req
105. We'll take my spy van.Copy !req
106. Aaaaah!Copy !req
107. I followed you today.Copy !req
108. I saw you gallivanting around
town with your girlfriend!Copy !req
109. Nikki? We're just buds!
We like to horse aroundCopy !req
110. and give each other nicknames,
like Nik-NakCopy !req
111. and Delicious Little
Sex Boy.Copy !req
112. I saw you being romantic
all over town.Copy !req
113. We were just exploring potential
places to hold the fundraiser.Copy !req
114. So you aren't
cheating on me?Copy !req
115. Of course not!Copy !req
116. I love you!
And don't worry —Copy !req
117. If someone were
coming on to me,Copy !req
118. I would definitelyknow.Copy !req
119. Just in case,
would you mindCopy !req
120. not co-room-parenting
with Nikki anymore?Copy !req
121. Oh. Totally.Copy !req
122. Thank you.Copy !req
123. Maybe we can
stop by her placeCopy !req
124. before the fundraiser tomorrow
and break the news.Copy !req
125. Sure!
She invited me overCopy !req
126. for a tour of her bathtub
anyway, so —Copy !req
127. Ohh! I see it now.Copy !req
128. Josh!
Josh's wife!Copy !req
129. What a pleasant surprise.
Come on in.Copy !req
130. Uh, sorry to drop in on you
like this.Copy !req
131. I just needed
to let you know,Copy !req
132. I don't think we should be
co-room parents anymore.Copy !req
133. You're so funny!Copy !req
134. I know I'm usually so funny,
but this time,Copy !req
135. I'm actually serious.Copy !req
136. But what about
the fundraiser?Copy !req
137. Josh can take care of it.Copy !req
138. He really appreciates
all your help.Copy !req
139. Awwww!Copy !req
140. Thank you, Josh!Copy !req
141. Hey, I've been making
a killer apple tart.Copy !req
142. How about a slice to show
there's no hard feelings?Copy !req
143. That would be —Copy !req
144. lovely.Copy !req
145. Hey, that worked out great!Copy !req
146. Thanks for doing this.Copy !req
147. No problem.Copy !req
148. Billy, my man,
what's up?Copy !req
149. Josh...Copy !req
150. Don't like responding to
questions when you watch TV?Copy !req
151. My daughter's the same —
waaait a minute,Copy !req
152. why does your arm feel
like it's filled with straw?Copy !req
153. Oh, my God!
Billy's dead!Copy !req
154. No! Billy's not real!Copy !req
155. We have to get out of here!Copy !req
156. I'm afraid I can't let you
do that.Copy !req
157. Not to be rude, but...Copy !req
158. I don't think
we want that tart anymore.Copy !req
159. Don't worry.Copy !req
160. The only thing on the menu...Copy !req
161. is gun.Copy !req
162. Wait, why did you bake it
into the tart?Copy !req
163. So you're not even a parent
at the school?Copy !req
164. Ugh! God no.Copy !req
165. Kids are like, echhh!Copy !req
166. With their sticky little
blechhhh.Copy !req
167. Yeah, no.Copy !req
168. I've pulled this grift
in every townCopy !req
169. from Santa Maria
to Santa Clarita.Copy !req
170. Every school has at least
one dad up to his neckCopy !req
171. in room parent duties,
desperate for help.Copy !req
172. In my line of work
we call them a "Josh."Copy !req
173. But why?Copy !req
174. You can't be making
more than like 250 bucks.Copy !req
175. It's a volume business.Copy !req
176. I'm running a Josh
in Van Nuys, too.Copy !req
177. Well, this has been fun,
but I have children to rob.Copy !req
178. If she takes that money,Copy !req
179. we won't be able to afford
a new playground!Copy !req
180. And everyone'll think
I'm just some dumb Josh!Copy !req
181. - What are you doing?
- I'm getting us out of here.Copy !req
182. Why, yes, my son ishere.Copy !req
183. And he's totally a human boy.Copy !req
184. Where the hell
are those two?Copy !req
185. Postpal.Copy !req
186. They were all out of knife.Copy !req
187. Ugh, you guys
are the worst.Copy !req
188. Nikki! Stop!Copy !req
189. See you on the other side,
losers!Copy !req
190. Shit.Copy !req
191. Hey!
You can't be up here!Copy !req
192. Oh, my God!
You're so funny.Copy !req
193. Hyah!
Aaaaaah!Copy !req
194. Mom!Copy !req
195. Dad's girlfriend
is getting away!Copy !req
196. Don't call her that.
Give it up, Nikki.Copy !req
197. You're trapped.
- Please!Copy !req
198. Like I could ever be outsmarted
by a Josh.Copy !req
199. Okay,
I want to get off now.Copy !req
200. Emily!Copy !req
201. Josh!Copy !req
202. I've got to stop her!Copy !req
203. I'm a room parent.Copy !req
204. Ohh!Copy !req
205. Aah!Copy !req
206. Sorry, Billy!Copy !req
207. Aah!Copy !req
208. Give me the cash, Nikki!Copy !req
209. How about I make out
a check?Copy !req
210. To your nuts!Copy !req
211. Gah!Copy !req
212. Eh... gah!Copy !req
213. Ugh!Copy !req
214. So long, Josh!Copy !req
215. And by the way...Copy !req
216. you're actually not funny.Copy !req
217. Yeah, it's pretty hard
to be funny...Copy !req
218. when the joke's on you!Copy !req
219. Billy?Copy !req
220. How could you?Copy !req
221. Noooooooo!Copy !req
222. Hi! Thank you, yeah.
Mr. Campbell.Copy !req
223. I spoke with the rest
of the faculty at Chamomile,Copy !req
224. and we all agreed
to make Josh...Copy !req
225. room parent for life!Copy !req
226. Uh... but that can't be
legally —Copy !req
227. It's legally binding!Copy !req
228. Yay!Copy !req