1. Previously, on a very
special Clone High...Copy !req
2. Cleo was left alone,Copy !req
3. and Gandhi's misbehavior
made him the class clone.Copy !req
4. See what I did there?Copy !req
5. That wasn't just a rhyme;
it was a play on words.Copy !req
6. Get used to it.Copy !req
7. I do that sort of thing
all the time.Copy !req
8. My friends call me pun dog.Copy !req
9. This is Principal Scudworth
with an important announcement.Copy !req
10. The PXJT is upon us!Copy !req
11. Fail the PXJT and your life
will be ruined forever!Copy !req
12. But win or lose, remember,Copy !req
13. the most important thing
in lifeCopy !req
14. is to use
a number two pencil.Copy !req
15. Number two.Copy !req
16. Good luck and good day.Copy !req
17. Here, let me help you.Copy !req
18. Abe, it's the PXJTs.Copy !req
19. Everyone expects me to ace them
and get into Clone State,Copy !req
20. but ever since I broke up
with JFK for real again,Copy !req
21. there's no one
to provide meCopy !req
22. with emotional
and physical support.Copy !req
23. Is there any way
I can help you emotionally...Copy !req
24. or physically?Copy !req
25. I guess I could use
a study buddy for the PXJTs.Copy !req
26. Great! I'll go pick up
some flash cards at lunch.Copy !req
27. You're so great, Abe.Copy !req
28. And would you get me a latte
on your way back?Copy !req
29. That would rock.Copy !req
30. Nonfat, 'kay?Copy !req
31. This is a very tough time
for me.Copy !req
32. Without Cleo,
I'm a broken man.Copy !req
33. Hey, let's all go swimming
in my pool.Copy !req
34. And by "pool,"
I mean "bathtub."Copy !req
35. And by "swimming,"
I mean "sex!"Copy !req
36. That PXJT crap is useless
in the real world.Copy !req
37. Everything I need to know
I learned on the streets.Copy !req
38. - So you suck at taking tests?
- Yeah.Copy !req
39. You could take a prep course.Copy !req
40. School after school?
No way.Copy !req
41. I mean, one school's enough
for the G man,Copy !req
42. but two schools
is like, "What?"Copy !req
43. Oh, here comes Abe.Copy !req
44. Quick, pretend I said
something funny.Copy !req
45. Oh.
Hey, you just farted?Copy !req
46. That's hilarious!
You farted!Copy !req
47. Ow!Copy !req
48. I haven't slept
in two days.Copy !req
49. Abe, the PXJTs are coming up.
You need sleep.Copy !req
50. Come on, Joan.Copy !req
51. I've got a list
of a million things to do.Copy !req
52. Sleep ought to be the number one
thing on that list, pal.Copy !req
53. I was in my 18-wheeler
late one night...Copy !req
54. Right about the sleepy hour...Copy !req
55. When I come upon a cop carCopy !req
56. swerving around
in the suicide lane.Copy !req
57. And I could tell he was
too sleepy to be drivingCopy !req
58. right then and there.Copy !req
59. So I get up next to himCopy !req
60. and try to guide him
off the road with my rig.Copy !req
61. But I cut it a little too hard
and sent that cop sailingCopy !req
62. right off a cliff.Copy !req
63. Did you kill him?Copy !req
64. Kill him?Copy !req
65. I saved his life.Copy !req
66. Course, he's a cripple now.Copy !req
67. Dang.Copy !req
68. Is that your rig?
Sweet!Copy !req
69. Man, trucking
must be the life.Copy !req
70. Whizzing in a bottle,
solving mysteries,Copy !req
71. not having to take
the PXJTs all the time.Copy !req
72. Did you say PXJTs?Copy !req
73. Bubala, you haven't
touched your kugel.Copy !req
74. Don't crowd the boy!Copy !req
75. Can't you see he's worried
about the PXJTs?Copy !req
76. Mom, Dad, I'm at
a turning point in life,Copy !req
77. and today I've made
a life-changing decisionCopy !req
78. based on very poor information.Copy !req
79. I'm going to be a trucker.Copy !req
80. I'm going to hang myself.Copy !req
81. I have no son!Copy !req
82. I'm getting out
the good noose!Copy !req
83. First off,
we want to thank youCopy !req
84. for your help
with our conspiracy.Copy !req
85. Sure!Copy !req
86. Kids will be buying number two
pencils by the bucket load!Copy !req
87. Why are we doing this again?Copy !req
88. Infidel!Copy !req
89. It is I,
Scangrade the Magnificent,Copy !req
90. a test grading/
world domination device.Copy !req
91. The PXJTs were created
to provide meCopy !req
92. with my energy source—Copy !req
93. lead from the number two pencil.Copy !req
94. After over 50 years of testing,Copy !req
95. his power will finally
be great enough to...Copy !req
96. Take over the world!Copy !req
97. Oh, yeah.
That's a great idea.Copy !req
98. Mr. B!
Language!Copy !req
99. Mr. B,
I hardly recognized you.Copy !req
100. I see you've put
on some weight.Copy !req
101. It's so cool, Joan.Copy !req
102. Cleo and I
are getting really close.Copy !req
103. Abe, your cart.
It's rolling!Copy !req
104. Abe, It's gonna hit
that Animal Cracker display!Copy !req
105. Abe, it's moving
really slowly!Copy !req
106. Just step forward
and grab the handle, Abe!Copy !req
107. Abe, you're too tired
to be grocery shopping.Copy !req
108. Your reflexes are shot.Copy !req
109. My reflexes are fine.Copy !req
110. In three seconds, I'm going
to slap you across the face.Copy !req
111. Oof!Copy !req
112. You have a problem!Copy !req
113. You see,
I have a secret, Abe,Copy !req
114. and it's time I told you
that secret.Copy !req
115. Oh, I can't!Copy !req
116. It's such a big secret!Copy !req
117. Perhaps I'll tell you later.Copy !req
118. All I can say right now
is you need to sleep.Copy !req
119. I don't take orders
from you or anyone.Copy !req
120. Hi, Cleo.
Sure, I'll take your order.Copy !req
121. Spicy tuna roll,
California roll.Copy !req
122. Okay.
Got it.Copy !req
123. Yeah, yeah, oh, I always ask
for more ginger.Copy !req
124. Now I'm getting in the car.Copy !req
125. You can't drive!Copy !req
126. What if there had been
real animals inside this box?Copy !req
127. Yeah, Joan, I'm gonna crash
into a big box of animals.Copy !req
128. All right,
that's the last one.Copy !req
129. Literally all the pandas
in existenceCopy !req
130. are on this truck,
so be extra carefulCopy !req
131. and watch out for drivers
that are sleepy...Copy !req
132. Sleepy...Copy !req
133. Oh, yeah, baby.Copy !req
134. You're listening to KSLP,
the quiet storm—Copy !req
135. monotonous jams
that get inside your headCopy !req
136. and make you less alert.Copy !req