Clone High 1x7

Directed by Christopher Miller • Phil Lord • Ted Collyer • Harold Harris

Debra Wilson as Reporter (voice) • Neil Flynn as Buddy Holly (voice) • Ashley Parker Angel as Ashley Parker Angel (voice)

Cleo lands a gig on Ashley Angel's dance show before she and Abe have a chance to kiss, Gandhi's rap single becomes an instant hit, and a mischievous skunk outwits Principal Scudworth.

Request examples:

!req Clone High 1x7 [02:32]
!req Clone High 1x7 [Clone High 1x7]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Clone High 1x7 [10-11]; !req Clone High 1x7 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Previously, on a very special Clone High...

2. Joan made a pass at Abe,

3. Cleo made a pass at Joan,

4. and Abe scored,

5. but not on the court.

6. I find sports metaphors very useful

7. for making veiled sexual references.

8. Abe, not here.

9. The first kiss sets the tone for the whole relationship.

10. It has to be perfect.

11. Gosh, Cleo, what else can I do to make this perfect?

12. I'm wearing eight magazines' worth of Drakkar Noir.

13. Well, I mean, I hate to bring up my first kiss with JFK.

14. Please don't.

15. We were in the back of his van,

16. parked behind the Laundromat, empty wine coolers

17. jabbing into our writhing naked bodies.

18. Naked bodies?

19. Look, Abe, I'm the clone of Cleopatra,

20. the most glamorous woman in history.

21. I need our first kiss to be passionate,

22. dramatic, unexpected, and ideally,

23. accompanied by fireworks.

24. You know what I'm in the mood for right now?

25. A salad.

26. What do you mean, you haven't kissed her yet?

27. What about that night at JFK's party

28. when everyone was drinking non-alcoholic beer?

29. What a hilarious night.

30. This is our first kiss as boyfriend and girlfriend,

31. and Cleo needs it to be perfect.

32. But JFK used to just park his van—

33. Yeah, yeah. I heard.

34. Yeah, so did everyone in fifth period English.

35. She's a screamer, Abe.

36. Enough!

37. Man, you wanted a kiss, but instead you got bubkes.

38. Kiss, bubkes.

39. I just totally rhymed.

40. I rhymed!

41. Wait, rhymed, rhymed.

42. I did it again!

43. What's so great about accidentally rhyming?

44. There are no accidents in rhyming, dog.

45. You see, rhyming's a godlike force

46. that chooses people for stardom.

47. It happened to Bubba Sparxxx, and now it is happening to me.

48. You kind of just rhymed kiss with kiss, Gandhi.

49. Please, call me G-Spot.

50. Whatever.

51. Abe, forget Cleo.

52. I mean, if two people are in love,

53. the first kiss will just happen at the right moment...

54. like this.

55. Thanks, Joan.

56. Your fake infatuation bit never fails to amuse.

57. You should join an improv troupe.

58. Once I implant these brain-wave transmitters

59. into the clones' brains, I will be able

60. to see and hear everything they taste and smell.

61. We'll start with the As.

62. I've got John Adams.

63. John Quincy Adams.

64. Sam Adams.

65. Abigail—

66. Damn, there's a lot of Adams!

67. Now, you know how I like to perform evil surgery.

68. Everything has to be just so.

69. Why, that sounds like the pizzicato tiptoeing

70. of a pesky skunk.

71. Unacceptable!

72. This isn't a skunk.

73. Some kind of hissing novelty candle

74. for a giant birthday cake.

75. Try and catch me, bitch.

76. Oh, my God!

77. After we have our perfect first kiss,

78. I'm gonna do things to you

79. that would shock the college boy

80. I hooked up with at cheerleading camp.

81. Wait, what college boy?

82. Shh, don't talk.

83. This moment feels perfect.

84. Kissably perfect.

85. Dinger!

86. Hey, hot lips.

87. This letter got mixed up in my disability checks.

88. You know, I used to be pretty when I was in school.

89. Now look at me!

90. Oh, my God.

91. I applied to be a dancer

92. on Ashley Angel from O-Town's Spring Break Dance Academy.

93. The Ashley Angel from O-Town?

94. From TV's gift to pop music and the world, O-Town?

95. Wow, he's like the Beatles and Jesus rolled into one.

96. If I get in, it'll look so great

97. on my college application.

98. Come on, that show is just a porn substitute

99. with questionable academic value.

100. No, no.

101. Since Ashley Angel from O-Town became dean of admissions,

102. he's turned it into a prestigious dance academy

103. that just happens to have the cameras running.

104. Oh, I can't believe it! I'm in!

105. I'm going to study under Ashley Angel from O-Town.

106. But they tape that show far away on the sunny beaches of Canada.

107. What about us?

108. Ashley Angel from O-Town!

109. Oh! Oh, it's so cold.

110. Oh, it's so cold.

111. I like it.

112. Ashley Angel from O-Town, eh?

113. Fruited plain!

114. Fruit!

115. It has two meanings!

116. JFK, man, you got to help me.

117. Oh, God!

118. You're the only dude I know

119. who has a recording studio in his crib.

120. What are you talking about, bald nerd?

121. I got to lay down a rap demo for Ashley Angel from O-Town.

122. Who?

123. He's that teen idol from that boy band.

124. - 'NSYNC? - No.

125. - Backstreet Boys? - No.

126. - 98 Degrees? - No.

127. - Menudo? - No.

128. He's in the band O-Town.

129. Oh, you mean the superstar

130. who hosts the spring break dance academy?

131. His connections to the music industry

132. will help me fulfill my weeklong dream

133. of becoming an international rap sensation.

134. No can do!

135. I'm recording my annual Fourth of July album

136. and laughing at gay lyrics.

137. Check this out!

138. G-Spot rocks the G-spot! G-Spot rocks the G-spot.

139. Wow, that rhymed.

140. Say hello to the next Bubba Sparxxx!

141. This is the final boarding announcement

142. for flight 100 to Canada City.

143. Cleo!

144. Don't get on that plane.

145. Abe, what are you doing here?

146. Stopping you from making the biggest mistake of my life.

147. Abe, if you ask me to stay,

148. you'll be stomping out the fire of my dreams.

149. The only fire I care about is the flame of our love.

150. And I couldn't live if you passed

151. that burning sensation to another guy.

152. Look, Abe, I'd like nothing more

153. than to let you feel me up like you were my dentist,

154. but I care too much about our future together.

155. Back up. What dentist?

156. Dr. Tucker?

157. All that matters is you, is us, is now.

158. All aboard!

159. All aboard for Canada City!

160. Can you at least take the jacket I gave you?

161. Oh, Abe, I'll wear it on TV.

162. I promise.

163. It'll be our secret message.

164. Part of you is inside of me.

165. Cleo!

166. Don't get on that plane...

167. yet!

168. First, take this demo

169. to give to Ashley Angel from O-Town.

170. Ew! Get away from me.

171. Now get on that plane!

172. Bu—oh.

173. Hey, man, thanks for stalling her.

174. Can I borrow ten bucks for an airport cookie?