1. Previously on
Tropical Hospital...Copy !req
2. Dr. Blaine found
Dr. Adrian's coconut braCopy !req
3. was full of something
other than coconut meat.Copy !req
4. And will we find out
that it was Dr. D'AdrienneCopy !req
5. who crashed
the banana boat ambulance?Copy !req
6. Stay tuned for more drama...Copy !req
7. more questions,
and more prescriptionCopy !req
8. pina coladas
on the next Tropical Hospital.Copy !req
9. Oh, who knew teen doctorsCopy !req
10. had such dramatic,
sexually driven lives?Copy !req
11. Yeah, but I don't think
surgery is normally doneCopy !req
12. in hammocks.Copy !req
13. for the easiest path to fame
and fortuneCopy !req
14. without having to put in years
of hard work?Copy !req
15. - No.
- Yes!Copy !req
16. Then
Tropical Hospital wants you!Copy !req
17. We are looking
for hot, young writers,Copy !req
18. directors, actors and best boys.
Winners will fly standbyCopy !req
19. to North Hollywood
where they'll be offeredCopy !req
20. a ten-year non-union internship.Copy !req
21. This week,
our talent scout will be in—Copy !req
22. Exclamation. USA.Copy !req
23. So get readyCopy !req
24. to put on a show,Copy !req
25. because this might be
your only chance to achieveCopy !req
26. - your dreams—
- And escape a basic bitch lifeCopy !req
27. and the shadow
of my trailblazing clone motherCopy !req
28. and also become famous
and out of touch forever!Copy !req
29. Error! Error! Error!Copy !req
30. And I know the perfect play!Copy !req
31. "The Game:
The Musical!"Copy !req
32. Wait a minute.
You wrote a musicalCopy !req
33. - based on Twister? The game?
- I did.Copy !req
34. And I think you and JFK
would be perfect for the leads.Copy !req
35. What? I mean,
you're my best friendCopy !req
36. and I'd do anything for you,
but I'm not an actor.Copy !req
37. You don't have to act.
You and JFK already haveCopy !req
38. such white-hot sexual chemistry.Copy !req
39. We are White and hot.Copy !req
40. But I'm a jock.Copy !req
41. If I do a musical,
the team will razz me.Copy !req
42. You can totally do both, bro!Copy !req
43. Football should not define you
as a person.Copy !req
44. And we'll be front row center
opening night to support you!Copy !req
45. Thanks, team.Copy !req
46. Your fourth-string kicker
won't let you down!Copy !req
47. What do you say, baby?
Will you take meCopy !req
48. to be your leading man?
Not just in life,Copy !req
49. and in the backseat
of my Kia SportageCopy !req
50. during lunch hour,
but also on the stage!Copy !req
51. Oh, I hate musicals, but okay!Copy !req
52. Wait, background?Copy !req
53. Did you know about this,
Cinnamon?Copy !req
54. The clones are putting on
a theatrical playCopy !req
55. with songs with some talking,
but mostly songs!Copy !req
56. Ooh, that sounds wonderful!Copy !req
57. They just destroyed
the hallwayCopy !req
58. with a spontaneous
musical number.Copy !req
59. We could have
a Footloose situationCopy !req
60. on our hands!Copy !req
61. Can't you do anything right?Copy !req
62. Well, I did create an entire
friggin' school of clones!Copy !req
63. So I'd say, a-duh, yeah.Copy !req
64. I guess I can do
something right.Copy !req
65. Get this under control
before they compromiseCopy !req
66. our entire operation.Copy !req
67. What was she saying, Mr. B?Copy !req
68. I was momentarily bewitched.Copy !req
69. Musicals cause chaos.Copy !req
70. that traditionally stems
from musical theater.Copy !req
71. How do we prevent this?Copy !req
72. Maybe just be good at your job.Copy !req
73. That's it, Mr. B.
A show of strength!Copy !req
74. All we need is someone very weakCopy !req
75. to make me look strong
by contrast.Copy !req
76. You there, creepy boy!
Are you in the school play?Copy !req
77. I auditioned and I didn't get
a part.Copy !req
78. Well, I have a role for you.Copy !req
79. Yes! You don't know
how much this mea—Copy !req
80. And I don't want to know.Copy !req
81. I don't love
when they're happy, Mr. B.Copy !req
82. Real World, Road Rules.
Real World, Road Rules.Copy !req
83. All right, people!
The Tropical Hospital scoutCopy !req
84. will be here in three days.
It's rehearsal time.Copy !req
85. And pretend.Copy !req
86. "Left Hand on Blue, marry me.
We can finally bring peaceCopy !req
87. to Twister City."Copy !req
88. "I do love peace,
but I don't love you.Copy !req
89. I must follow my heart,
which is red.Copy !req
90. Just like Right Hand on Red."Copy !req
91. "I may have lost feeling
in my legs,Copy !req
92. but I'll always feel love
for you,Copy !req
93. Cut, yeah. Cut! Wonderful. Wow.
Let— let's take a break.Copy !req
94. - Are you sure that was okay?
- That was great.Copy !req
95. Um, but there's one tiny thing
that's a big thing.Copy !req
96. Uh, can you close your eyes
when you kiss?Copy !req
97. Eyes closed?
Huh, interesting concept.Copy !req
98. Yeah, just 'cause
when they're open,Copy !req
99. it's— it's a little hostage-y,
you know?Copy !req
100. - In a good way?
- I mean, you know,Copy !req
101. it is a choice. And I love
when actors make choices,Copy !req
102. but maybe we makeCopy !req
103. a different, better choice
next time?Copy !req
104. I'm sorry. I'm messing up
your big thing.Copy !req
105. No! No, no, no.
You're doing great, Joan.Copy !req
106. I just feel like
my instincts are off.Copy !req
107. Don't be silly.Copy !req
108. Your instincts are great, bestie.Copy !req
109. Uh, listen. I still haven't cast
the role of Mayor Spinner,Copy !req
110. who looms over the Color War.Copy !req
111. I'd love to know
who you think would be good.Copy !req
112. This might be a terrible idea,
but what about casting Abe?Copy !req
113. He's tall and good
at uncomfortable looming.Copy !req
114. Huh...Copy !req
115. - Hi.
- Abe!Copy !req
116. You're perfect for Mayor Spinner
but if you're busy,Copy !req
117. - that's totally fine.
- Really?Copy !req
118. Because I was just thinking
I deserve a primary roleCopy !req
119. in this play.
The theater's in my blood,Copy !req
120. and my blood is sprayed
all over the theater.Copy !req
121. Casting Abe is brilliant.
You have great ideas.Copy !req
122. Thanks, bestie.Copy !req
123. That's the confidence boost
I needed.Copy !req
124. Mm.Copy !req
125. Okay, folks.
Let's put on a show!Copy !req
126. I'm a lead in the production,
so I can have as much as I want.Copy !req
127. Okay, dancers. Rehearsal time.
Five, six, seven, eight.Copy !req
128. We'll never get this
dance right.Copy !req
129. And I'll never get
on Tropical Hospital.Copy !req
130. Or have the chance to marry
for money.Copy !req
131. Let's just quit
and never try again.Copy !req
132. Guys, I've been in this business
a long time.Copy !req
133. Ten whole minutes.Copy !req
134. You just gotta throw yourselves
into the role like me.Copy !req
135. As one of the stars
of this production,Copy !req
136. let me give you some advice.Copy !req
137. Just be yourself
and you'll be amazing.Copy !req
138. Boop! Boop! Boop! Boop!Copy !req
139. Boop!Copy !req
140. I don't get it. Abe can't sing,
can't danceCopy !req
141. and yet he carries himself
with such bravado.Copy !req
142. Sacagawea's right.
What's he got that we don't?Copy !req
143. Isn't it obvious?Copy !req
144. That boy's got
White Guy Confidence.Copy !req
145. - White what now?
- Please elaborate through song.Copy !req
146. Nailed it.Copy !req
147. But how can us non-JoshesCopy !req
148. gain the same
unearned confidence?Copy !req
149. Well, in Tropical Hospital,
Dr. Orlando drankCopy !req
150. Dr. Corey's sweat to get out
of the quicksand.Copy !req
151. Oh, we can steal
someone's sweat,Copy !req
152. then distill it and ingest it.Copy !req
153. It might give us
the same blind courage.Copy !req
154. But where we gonna find
a White guy that sweaty?Copy !req
155. - Ten on blue—
- There's my Hollywood queen.Copy !req
156. All right, guys. Take five.Copy !req
157. Say, I'm so glad
we talked earlier.Copy !req
158. I really appreciate
our creative partnership.Copy !req
159. Anyway, can I run
another great idea by you?Copy !req
160. I was thinking Left Hand on Blue
should wear brown...Copy !req
161. - Uh-huh.
- ... because she's tornCopy !req
162. between Right Hand on Red
and Left Foot on Green.Copy !req
163. - Okay. Uh-huh.
- Those colors make brown.Copy !req
164. It'll show
I'm remaining neutral...Copy !req
165. And Tropical Hospital
will loveCopy !req
166. that it also says
something important.Copy !req
167. That is a great idea.Copy !req
168. In fact, it might be too great.
I wonder if Left Hand on BlueCopy !req
169. wearing brown
just might be confusing.Copy !req
170. You're right. No, you're right.
It's a— it's a stupid idea.Copy !req
171. I'll merge back
into my "just-friends-Copy !req
172. and-not-trusted-
collaborators" laneCopy !req
173. and stay there.Copy !req
174. Ugh. No, no! Your idea just—Copy !req
175. needed to boomerang around
in my brain.Copy !req
176. Really? Collaborating
with friends is the best.Copy !req
177. And I can't wait to share
all my great ideas.Copy !req
178. Oh, there's more? Can't wait.Copy !req
179. Ooh.Copy !req
180. You stole my best gal
and now you're going to pay!Copy !req
181. You're the one
that's going to pay...Copy !req
182. with your life!Copy !req
183. Clones! I won't allow
this chaos in my hallways.Copy !req
184. - Stay out of this, old man.
- Chop! Chop!Copy !req
185. I am the principal
of this school.Copy !req
186. Let it be known,
that all theatrics shallCopy !req
187. remain confined
to the auditorium!Copy !req
188. We care not
for your rules.Copy !req
189. I bet you'll care about this!Copy !req
190. Pick on someone your own size.Copy !req
191. Karate!Copy !req
192. Nauseating.Copy !req
193. Tell your friends
this school will not be overrunCopy !req
194. by the performative antics
of an artsy-fartsy minority,Copy !req
195. footloosing about!Copy !req
196. See, Candide,
they got the message.Copy !req
197. The only message here is,
you're a moron!Copy !req
198. Look! Because of you,
the hallway is trashed again!Copy !req
199. Just when I think
my opinion of youCopy !req
200. couldn't sink any lower,
it does.Copy !req
201. Much, much lower.Copy !req
202. The spinning makes it worse.Copy !req
203. with my ideas earlier,Copy !req
204. I wanted to repay you
by doing something originalCopy !req
205. that will blow the scout away.
Curtain up!Copy !req
206. I realized why my performanceCopy !req
207. was feeling so weird.Copy !req
208. It's because the rest
of the playCopy !req
209. wasn't equally weird.Copy !req
210. Huh? I did a little rewrite
to get us all on the same page.Copy !req
211. Do you love it?
Are you freaking out?Copy !req
212. I am freaking out.Copy !req
213. My face feels hot,
but my body is cold.Copy !req
214. I hate it!Copy !req
215. I so, so hate it!Copy !req
216. But you said you loved my ideas.Copy !req
217. Yeah! I lied because I love you.Copy !req
218. You're not being a great friend
if you can't handleCopy !req
219. a few creative changes
to help your play.Copy !req
220. You're gonna ruin my chance
to get on Tropical HospitalCopy !req
221. with all your navel-gazing
garbage!Copy !req
222. I don't want sand,
or wheat women!Copy !req
223. I want sexy costumes
and open-mouth kissingCopy !req
224. But that's just dumb!Copy !req
225. Exactly. That's why it's good.Copy !req
226. Dumb is fun and entertaining
and it buys pools.Copy !req
227. I am fine
with that being my art!Copy !req
228. Well, then I'm fine
with quitting.Copy !req
229. And I'm fine with you quitting
because I was about to fire you!Copy !req
230. Fine! Then I'm taking
my hourglass, my wheat women,Copy !req
231. - and JFK with me.
- You can't take JFK.Copy !req
232. He's the only good actor
in the show!Copy !req
233. Girls! Girls!Copy !req
234. The is not the kind of three-way
I'm into.Copy !req
235. Vegas, baby!Copy !req
236. Golden parachutes!Copy !req
237. - Storming the Capitol.
- Golf!Copy !req
238. Ow! You fell on my bad ear!Copy !req
239. I tried to be supportive
like the principalCopy !req
240. in High School Musical.
But then you go all Footloose,Copy !req
241. like in the film
Can't Hardly Wait.Copy !req
242. From this day forward,
all performances are banned!Copy !req
243. That includes the band!Copy !req
244. Now, everyone disband.
Why do I keep saying "band"?Copy !req
245. Everyone, get the fuck out!
The play is over.Copy !req
246. What's the matter, Joanie?
You've barely touchedCopy !req
247. your cold veggie
and fish oil quiche.Copy !req
248. I don't get it.Copy !req
249. All I did was make
a few major creative changesCopy !req
250. behind Harriet's back
and insulted herCopy !req
251. one and only dream,
and I'm the villain here.Copy !req
252. A villain? No, baby.
You dug in, you learned nothingCopy !req
253. and you didn't apologize.Copy !req
254. - You're the hero of this story.
- Exactly. Wait, what?Copy !req
255. Quiches, I've got the sexy kind
that everyone likes.Copy !req
256. And my wife Curly has
some bland, but important ones.Copy !req
257. That's right, Mops.
They're hard to swallowCopy !req
258. and even harder to digest.Copy !req
259. Nobody wants
my cold, experimental quiche.Copy !req
260. It make sense
to me now.Copy !req
261. As everyone knows,
a quiche is like a play.Copy !req
262. And Harriet was trying
to deliver a hot and sexy quicheCopy !req
263. because she knows
what people want.Copy !req
264. And I tried to make her play
cold and flavorlessCopy !req
265. and hard to swallow.Copy !req
266. Look! Is that
the Tropical Hospital scout?Copy !req
267. Mm. This hot,
sexy quiche is deliciousCopy !req
268. or I'm not the scout
from Tropical Hospital.Copy !req
269. He doesn't know our play's
been cancelled.Copy !req
270. We need to save a play.
And a friendship.Copy !req
271. Inject me with your love, stat!Copy !req
272. Play is back on!
Get dance routine right!Copy !req
273. A lot of pressure.
Stakes still high.Copy !req
274. For the play and my relationship
with Harriet.Copy !req
275. But we're still terrible
at the dance routine.Copy !req
276. Abe's sweat was just gross.Copy !req
277. It didn't instantly make us good
at dancing.Copy !req
278. We've tried every quick fix.Copy !req
279. Frida, what gives you
the confidence to be so goodCopy !req
280. at skate boarding and painting
and chilling.Copy !req
281. I don't know, Confucius.Copy !req
282. Guess it's just hard work
and practice.Copy !req
283. - Hard work and practice?
- Sounds like a fool's errand.Copy !req
284. You're stupid, Frida.Copy !req
285. We tried practicingCopy !req
286. the dance routine,
but we failed.Copy !req
287. Did y'all try practicing
a second time?Copy !req
288. Oh, let me guess.
"'Cause practice makes perfect."Copy !req
289. No. There's no such thing
as perfect.Copy !req
290. Practice makes progress.Copy !req
291. That's a dumb saying.Copy !req
292. You're dumb. This is dumb.
Everything's dumb.Copy !req
293. But, okay, we'll try.Copy !req
294. Five, six, seven, eight.Copy !req
295. Step and clap—Copy !req
296. That felt better!Copy !req
297. To the play!Copy !req
298. Well, Scudworth.Copy !req
299. I hate to admit it,Copy !req
300. but you actually did something
to showCopy !req
301. you have some level of control
over the students.Copy !req
302. I think shutting down the play
was the first smart thingCopy !req
303. you've ever done.Copy !req
304. Ah!Copy !req
305. The fact that you hate
to admit thatCopy !req
306. means the world to me.Copy !req
307. What say you and me
quiche and makeup?Copy !req
308. Put the set
over there.Copy !req
309. Hey!
Where are the costumes?Copy !req
310. What is that ruckus?Copy !req
311. The clones are performing
a musical on our roof.Copy !req
312. They're still performing
the play!Copy !req
313. You don't have control
over anything.Copy !req
314. You can quiche
my respect goodbye.Copy !req
315. I got here
as fast as I could.Copy !req
316. Am I too late
to enter the Teen ModelsCopy !req
317. - Giving Monologues Competition?
- Harriet, I lied.Copy !req
318. There is no Teen Models
Giving Monologues Competition.Copy !req
319. - That's tomorrow.
- Joan,Copy !req
320. you better have a sound,
ulterior motive for tricking me.Copy !req
321. I do. A big public apology.Copy !req
322. I thought that
instead of doing a fun, sexy,Copy !req
323. superficial play,
a part of you wanted to do anCopy !req
324. esoteric think piece.
But I was wrong.Copy !req
325. I know I'm the clone
of Harriet Tubman,Copy !req
326. but that doesn't mean
I can't have fun,Copy !req
327. silly stories too.Copy !req
328. I got it all wrong,
and the simple fact is,Copy !req
329. I never should have been
the star of your play.Copy !req
330. But I do know who'd be perfect
as Left Hand on Blue.Copy !req
331. - Who?
- You! That's who.Copy !req
332. Aww!Copy !req
333. But that means I have to kiss
Right Hand on Red, JFK!Copy !req
334. But, Joan, my heart only belongs
to you.Copy !req
335. As do my lips
and my unmentionables,Copy !req
336. which I'll mention now.
My penis, my testicles,Copy !req
337. my area between my penis
and my testicles—Copy !req
338. JFK, it's not cheating
if it's acting.Copy !req
339. And, Harriet, there's no one
I'd rather haveCopy !req
340. kiss my boyfriend
in a parking lotCopy !req
341. full of strangers than you.Copy !req
342. So beautiful.Copy !req
343. Jo-Jo, I'll be kissing JFK, but...Copy !req
344. but I'll be thinking of you
the whole time. Hit it!Copy !req
345. Choreography time! Places!Copy !req
346. This is it.
We've practiced two whole times.Copy !req
347. We're ready, let's do this.Copy !req
348. That's all we learned!Copy !req
349. Wow! Nice choreography.Copy !req
350. This isn't a game,
Left Foot on Green.Copy !req
351. Stop! Only Mayor Spinner
can help you decide your fate.Copy !req
352. Just don't fall down!Copy !req
353. Left Hand on Love.
God, I'm such a good actor.Copy !req
354. Mm. Eyes open?Copy !req
355. What a show. Wow!Copy !req
356. Quite frankly, I'm glad
these clones went Footloose!Copy !req
357. Bravo.Copy !req
358. That was the best rooftop diner
amateur play I have ever seen.Copy !req
359. And, boy, I have seen a lot.Copy !req
360. NBA Coach Steve Kerr?Copy !req
361. That's my name.
Don't wear it out.Copy !req
362. Who are we kidding?
You couldn't if you tried.Copy !req
363. I'm that good.Copy !req
364. Are you
the Tropical Hospital scout?Copy !req
365. Basketball and teen dramas.Copy !req
366. My philosophy is that talent
can be found anywhere.Copy !req
367. And you are all very talented.Copy !req
368. What that talent is,
I've no idea.Copy !req
369. But I do know this,
when you work as a team,Copy !req
370. everyone wins,
specially basketball players.Copy !req
371. Harriet, you do have a future
in showbiz.Copy !req
372. But that future is not now,
which is the present.Copy !req
373. But before you know it,
your present will be your past,Copy !req
374. and the future
will be your present.Copy !req
375. And that's when you'll be
in Hollywood.Copy !req
376. I now see why you do sports
and not writing, sir.Copy !req
377. Thank you. Now, I can't give you
a part on Tropical Hospital,Copy !req
378. because, well, we were looking
for someoneCopy !req
379. with White Guy Confidence,
so I cast Tom Hiddleston.Copy !req
380. Hiddleston.Copy !req
381. But I can give you this.Copy !req
382. Your championship ring?Copy !req
383. My first trophy.Copy !req
384. I can't wait to sell it to pay
for drama school.Copy !req
385. This says "replica" on it—Copy !req
386. Can't hear you. Bye!Copy !req
387. Oh, god!
My restaurant!Copy !req
388. Well, we may not have gotten
on Tropical Hospital,Copy !req
389. but we did get to perform
the play.Copy !req
390. And nothing
of lasting consequenceCopy !req
391. went wrong.Copy !req
392. Curly, where are you?
Won't somebody help me?Copy !req
393. I shouldn't have
let children do a playCopy !req
394. on my roof.Copy !req
395. Yup, nothing at all.Copy !req
396. I think I'm obsessed
with you, JFK.Copy !req
397. I'm, er, uh, throbbing, Harriet.
I can see us pounding together.Copy !req
398. - Not good.
- Uh-oh!Copy !req
399. Nailed it!Copy !req