Clarence 1x46

Directed by Raymie Muzquiz

Joshua Rush as Breehn (voice) • Lea DeLaria as EJ (voice) • David Boat as Mayor / Walla / Pirate Announcer (voice)

Clarence and Sumo are psyched to play their pirate-themed board game until they learn Jeff has invited boring old Breehn along. After Breehn gets frustrated and leaves, it’s up to the three scallywags to rescue Breehn from an intense flood.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. High chance of heavy flooding rain in Aberdale.

2. It's highly recommended to keep small children and cats inside.

3. So now everybody put your cards on your foreheads,

4. and we ask questions...

5. .to figure out who you are.

6. Good afternoon, my good neighbor-mates.

7. Jeff honey, your friends are here.

8. Hey, I saw your face on a bench.

9. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Great observation, son.

10. That was me. Ha, ha.

11. I'm "nutters for clean gutters."

12. Why does it say "Philicya Rashad" on your head?

13. Clarence, the cards have to be secret.

14. Oh, a secret.

15. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me, Karl Marx.

16. Jeff, your friends are waiting!

17. Ahoy, mateys. You guys ready?

18. Aye, aye, good shipmate.

19. Then let's play.

20. "Thirty Days & Seven Seas."

21. Okay, lads.

22. We're finally gonna get past the kraken.

23. Yeah, it always eats us.

24. It's starting to tick me off.

25. Oh, boy! I hope we can beat him!

26. Aah! What the heck, Breehn?

27. When did you get here?

28. Guys, I-I've been here the whole time.

29. My parents are on a family fun cruise,

30. so Jeff graciously invited me to your game night.

31. I know. I know.

32. I can be a bit of a stickler sometimes.

33. But for tonight, I'm ready to let loose.

34. Plus I brought "Limbo Rooster."

35. Uh, no offense, but we usually play this game

36. with the three of us.

37. A fourth might be— I don't know— Weird.

38. I brought my favorite snack my mom hates.

39. Ooh, Cheezarinos!

40. Kid can stay.

41. Thank you, Sumo.

42. Hey, Breehn, can I sit on the bean bag chair?

43. Um, I usually sit there when we play.

44. Oh. Oh, sorry.

45. Okay, everyone settled?

46. Then let's play.

47. Argh! Choose your characters.

48. I'm Captain Black Hook Burroughs,

49. feared captain of the high seas.

50. House rules— Captain gets plus-3 wisdom.

51. Crusty Pete, master gunner.

52. Chaotic neutral.

53. I'm Mr. Tobias J. Tobias.

54. I make the food.

55. Um, I'm the pirate Breehn...

56. Pirate.

57. Your name is the Pirate Breehn?

58. Uh, that's great.

59. The Pirate Breehn. Heh.

60. I have to go to the bathroom.

61. Tobias, Crusty Pete, you need to go too.

62. What? No, I don't!

63. Yes, I can see you squirming.

64. The Pirate Breehn? That's a terrible name.

65. I'm sorry, guys.

66. I thought he was gonna play this better.

67. I don't know. Who cares? Captain Black Hook?

68. I was thinking I also want to play as the mermaid

69. on the front of the boat.

70. That's not a playable character, Mr. Tobias.

71. But she's beautiful.

72. Okay, you can play as her, also,

73. but it won't have any effect on the game.

74. Yes!

75. Where did Breehn go?

76. I'm right here, guys. Great!

77. Now that we're all here

78. house rules— Captain rolls first.

79. Clear skies, move full roll.

80. A sail comes loose, sending you off course.

81. And then I climb up and, uh, fix it.

82. Well done, Mr. Tobias.

83. Move ahead three.

84. A beautiful woman emerges from the sea,

85. singing an enchanting song.

86. Fire cannons!

87. Critical hit.

88. Move ahead five spaces.

89. Avast, mateys! Marauders are attacking!

90. Fire cannons!

91. I... uh... Boom!

92. It's a hit.

93. A vicious marauder swings aboard your ship.

94. Engage battle timer!

95. I attack him with my pistol.

96. And the Pirate Breehn...

97. misses.

98. Aw, dang.

99. The marauder sends the Pirate Breehn

100. flying overboard.

101. Move back two knots.

102. Next time, use your cutlass. It's better at close range.

103. Oh.

104. I use my rope to pull up the Pirate Breehn back up.

105. Well, thank you, Clarence. Um, who's Clarence?

106. My pirate name is Mr. Tobias, and don't you forget it.

107. No kissing on the poop deck!

108. Dengue fever!

109. Not it! Uh... not it.

110. Too late! The Pirate Breehn loses two turns.

111. Oh, man. That's a weird rule.

112. I am so sorry, guys.

113. It's my fault for bringing him.

114. I didn't think it could possibly be this bad.

115. Hey, Jeff, why did you bring us to the bathroom again?

116. There's no chips in here!

117. I can't believe he tried to use his pistol.

118. I don't think this game is right for him.

119. I don't know. Some people just have bad pistol aim.

120. So these rats give me plus-6 protein?

121. Psst, use this to protect against scurvy.

122. Storm card!

123. Uh... I shouldn't be doing this right now.

124. A nasty wave sends Crusty Pete overboard!

125. No, Tobias. No, no, no!

126. Shiver me timbers! Sharks!

127. Fire cannons!

128. We'd risk hitting you!

129. W-we could create a distrac—

130. I throw down my rope to save Crusty Pete.

131. Oh, no! One of the sharks

132. grabs the captain and pulls him overboard!

133. I don't want to die!

134. There's so many booties I shall never discover!

135. We have no captain!

136. What do we do? What do we do? What do we do?

137. Look alive, scallywags!

138. Mr. Tobias, throw that salted beef overboard!

139. That's our food supply!

140. The sharks are getting closer!

141. We have no choice! Do it!

142. Aye, aye.

143. The sharks swim away, drawn to the food!

144. I throw my rope down and pull them aboard.

145. Breehn! Breehn! Breehn! Yeah, pirate Breehn!

146. The Pirate Breehn successfully trades our spices

147. for the rare green amulet.

148. Enemy ships approaching from the rear.

149. Ready the cannons! What do we do, Pirate Breehn?

150. I, uh, swing aboard and go for their captain.

151. Yeah! Oh, yeah!

152. Almost there.

153. This is it. The dreaded kraken

154. be all that stand betwixt us and a chest full of treasures.

155. I've got a very specific plan of attack.

156. First thing—

157. Oh, forget that! We've got the Pirate Breehn!

158. Let's slay that kraken!

159. We can't rush in and— Fire cannons!

160. Oh, no. We missed.

161. Now it's the kraken's turn.

162. No!

163. That was crazy. That was so crazy.

164. You insubordinate twits didn't listen to me

165. and now look!

166. I'm sorry, Jeff. I thought—

167. You thought wrong! Do-over!

168. You can't do that!

169. I'm your captain!

170. You do what I say!

171. You should be listening to me!

172. I'm your captain!

173. So what? Breehn is a way better captain!

174. What? Breehn's not even supposed to be here!

175. Guys, cut it out.

176. Clarence, get off of me! You're all squishy!

177. Mutiny! Mutiny!

178. Where's Breehn?

179. Oh, my ding-dang gosh!

180. Guys, Breehn's in trouble!

181. Great job, Captain! It's not my fa—

182. One of our crew is out there in a storm without a ship.

183. I don't know if we'll come back alive,

184. but I do know one thing—

185. This is the bestest game

186. of "Three Pirates and a Pizza Party"

187. I ever played.

188. It's because the Pirate Breehn was there.

189. Yeah, you're right.

190. Let's go save Breehn!

191. Arr!

192. Move over, guys.

193. Ooh!

194. Breehn! Breehn!

195. Breehn, where are you?

196. Breehn!

197. Hey, he's over there.

198. It's a humongous pile of trash!

199. No, it's the kraken!

200. No, it's... the trashen.

201. Fire cannons!

202. It's just a bunch of garbage. Let's go around.

203. It'll be no problem as long as we avoid that rake.

204. Clarence! Ah! I'm sorry.

205. I just said to— Aah... Aah...

206. Breehn! Breehn!

207. Breehn! Breehn!

208. Grab my hand!

209. Breehn, help us. Breehn! Breehn!

210. A little closer. Closer.

211. Well played.

212. "Are you bigger than a breadbox?"

213. What do we do? What do we do?

214. Hey, look. We can totally use that bench.

215. It's too far!

216. We could never make it!

217. Will you just trust me, Jeff?

218. Crusty Pete, grab that hose.

219. Aye, aye!

220. Yah!

221. Yah! Yo! Yah!

222. Yeah! You did it, Breehn!

223. You made it.

224. Come on, mateys, jump!

225. Clarence, what are you doing?

226. I'm making myself lighter, so the boat won't sink.

227. There's no time for that! Just jump!

228. Come on, Clarence! You can do it!

229. Let's get out of here! Let's go! Let's go!

230. Yah!

231. Look, I was being a jerk earlier.

232. I should have listened to you more.

233. I'm sorry.

234. It's okay, Jeff. I understand.

235. Sometimes, my parents are the same way,

236. but I know that doesn't mean they don't love me.

237. No more talking, mateys.

238. Let's sail home!

239. Okay, okay, have I ever worn a dress?

240. Wait, were the kids outside?

241. Fire cannons!

242. Critical hit!

243. You slice off both tentacles.

244. Advance towards Barnacle Harbor and collect your booty.

245. Booty, booty, booty.

246. You should do this, Breehn.

247. Really?

248. Quit stalling, you old seadog.

249. Let's get that treasure.

250. Huh? What? What the—

251. Hey, want to play "Limbo Rooster"?

252. Okay!

253. E.J.: This is great. Who wants iced tea?

254. Ooh!