Clarence 1x1

Directed by Raymie Muzquiz

Cynthia Kaye McWilliams as Cashier / Little Girl (voice) • Nika Futterman as Sammy / Kid (voice) • Kirk Thornton as Buckey O'Neill (voice)

Clarence's Mom treats Clarence, Jeff and Sumo to an afternoon at Rough Riders Chicken, a fast food restaurant with a play emporium. When Clarence and Sumo steal Jeff's fries, Jeff is forced to confront his germ phobias head-on in the restaurant's seemingly unsanitary play area.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Why, hello there!

2. I didn't see ya come in.

3. I'm Buckey O'Neil.

4. I was a famous hero in the Civil War,

5. and then I fought with Teddy Roosevelt in the Rough Riders.

6. But my greatest achievement...

7. was my chicken!

8. Yee-haw! Heh!

9. When other folks

10. was pannin' for gold nuggets,

11. I was pannin' for chicken nuggets!

12. The locals loved my chicken so much,

13. they traded all their land for it! Heh!

14. Pretty convenient.

15. And that's how the town of...

16. Aberdale.

17. was founded!

18. Yee-haw!

19. Why, hello there!

20. I didn't see ya come in. I'm Buckey O'Neil.

21. I only like the fries here. What?

22. You don't like the burgers? No.

23. What about the nuggets? Nope.

24. Not even the burgers? No.

25. What about the fun-dungeon?

26. Ugh.

27. Welcome to Rough Riders Chicken. What can I get you?

28. Uh, hi. I'll just have the chicken parfait.

29. I want that one!

30. The hip watchers' chicken salad?

31. Yeah.

32. Okay. One hip watchers' chicken salad. For you?

33. Uh... Can I get a...

34. W-what was that, sweetie?

35. He said he wants a chicken burger with rooster sauce.

36. Okay. Chicken burger with rooster sauce.

37. Yeah, yeah!

38. So...

39. Can't you hear him?

40. He wants chicken nuggets. All right, then.

41. What would you like?

42. I would like a scout meal.

43. Okay, then! Except—

44. Take out the burger.

45. I want fries, drink, and toy.

46. Um, sweetie, we're not allowed to do that.

47. You have to order the burger.

48. But I only like the fries here.

49. Why can't I just get it minus the burger?

50. 'Cause that's how it works.

51. You order a scout meal, you have to get the burger.

52. All right, then. Here's what I want you to do.

53. I'd like a side of fries, a kid's size drink,

54. and one of those toys.

55. The boy one, not the girl one.

56. And you know those bags that say "Scout meal"?

57. Put it all in one of those for me, please.

58. Honey, I am not gonna do that.

59. Jeff, why don't you just give the burger to Sumo?

60. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I'm sorry, Mary, but I can't.

61. It's the principle of the thing.

62. Ma'am, we can't give him a scout meal without the burger.

63. It'd be against the rules. Just put it on the side.

64. This is not what I wanted.

65. Aah!

66. You guys wanna go in the fun-dungeon yet?

67. I-I don't think I will.

68. You're joking me, right?

69. Well, I-I'm terrible at playing, and—

70. Anyway, ball pits are filthy.

71. Do you know how many kids have probably thrown up in there?

72. But it's worth it. Hey, Clarence.

73. Wanna try my blood burger?

74. Sure! Try all my stuff!

75. Uh... No, like this.

76. I like this.

77. You want some?

78. I'm-I'm good. Okay.

79. Uh, Mary, may I be excused?

80. Hey, buddy? Can I have one of your fries?

81. No!

82. Jeff, why don't we use our inside voices, okay?

83. Jeez, Jeff. Take it easy.

84. I'm-I'm sorry. I just...

85. I don't like people touching my fries.

86. I guess so.

87. I'm going to the bathroom.

88. Clarence, I want you to promise me.

89. Make a solemn promise you will not touch my fries.

90. I will stand here and pee myself until you promise.

91. Really? Clarence, I'm serious.

92. Do you promise?

93. Promise me. What.

94. Promise me! I won't touch your fries!

95. Really? Yup.

96. I'm believing you, Clarence.

97. I know you're not gonna lie to me.

98. Oh, yeah. I'm walking to the bathroom.

99. 'Kay. Walking around the corner.

100. Mm-hmm.

101. Hey, Sumo. Hmm?

102. Guess what? What?

103. Are you gonna eat 'em?

104. No. I'm just gonna trick him into playing with us.

105. All right!

106. He'll be so surprised when he finds out

107. they're in my pocket! Tee-hee.

108. Sumo! Wait!

109. You gotta put your shoes in the cubby, see?

110. And then ya put on a fresh pair.

111. Fresh.

112. Ooh, he's coming out! Let's hide!

113. My— My fri— My... Fries!

114. Oh, lord.

115. Clarence!

116. Oh, man. We sure got him!

117. Yeah, we did.

118. Now he has to have fun.

119. Aah! Where are they?

120. I dunno. Clarence is the mastermind!

121. Aah!

122. Help! Aah!

123. Aah!

124. Where are my fries, Clarence?

125. Why don'tcha come and get 'em? He, he.

126. See, isn't this fun?

127. Uh, pink or blue?

128. Pink or blue?

129. Clarence!

130. Hi.

131. Bye.

132. But Daddy, I don't wanna stay on the farm.

133. I wanna go to the city.

134. You best know yer place, little lady.

135. Clarence!

136. Come on, Jeff. Take it easy!

137. I was just kidding!

138. Come back here, Clarence!

139. Oh, hey, Mary! Oh, hey, Sammy!

140. How are you? I'm good!

141. Are you here with Clarence?

142. Well, I'm not here for the food! Ha, ha.

143. Right.

144. Oh, him and a few buddies are playing.

145. Oh, well, maybe Sean could join them!

146. Think him and Clarence would get along?

147. Oh, for sure! All the kids love Clarence!

148. I'm gonna kill you, Clarence!

149. Jeff, will you just listen?

150. Explain how you ate my fries!

151. I didn't! Jeff, I didn't eat your—

152. No!

153. This is what you get, Clarence.

154. This is what happens when you eat another man's fries!

155. Jeff, please! I didn't.

156. They're right here.

157. They were here the whole time.

158. Here take 'em!

159. Oh, no!

160. Clarence, listen.

161. I— I have my own complex reasons for things,

162. things you could never understand.

163. Reasons for people not to touch my fries.

164. Reasons I never go into fun spaces.

165. Well, how'd you get up here?

166. Oh, yeah.

167. Well, um...

168. You're not gonna let me die?

169. If you die, I die too.

170. Whoa!

171. Whoa! Oh.

172. Ow! Wow.

173. Whoa! Ooph! Wow.

174. You guys are playing too rough. Come on. Let's go.

175. Hi.

176. Hey, Jeff.

177. Uh, I'm sorry I took your fries.

178. Oh, well, um...

179. I'm sorry I tried to kill you.

180. It's okay. That made it more fun, I guess.

181. Yeah. It kinda did.

182. Friends?

183. Sure.

184. Friends.

185. Yup, friends.

186. I can't find my light-up princess shoes!

187. Hey, Sumo, where's your little cow toy?

188. Yeah, whatever.

189. I don't care about no girly toy.