Cheers 2x22

Christopher Lloyd as Phillip Semenko • Steve Giannelli as Steve • Christopher Carroll as Ed

Sam commissions a portrait of Diane from an artist so obnoxious that he soon forbids Diane to continue posing for him, an order Diane won't accept.

Request examples:

!req Cheers 2x22 [02:32]
!req Cheers 2x22 [Cheers 2x22]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Cheers 2x22 [10-11]; !req Cheers 2x22 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. I'LL BE SEEING YOU

2. - That's it, folks. Let's lock it up. - Hey, Carla. Can I give you a lift?

3. - I doubt it. - Let me give you a ride home.

4. - A ride home? I know what that means. - What?

5. We'll get to my place and you'll say, "I could do with a coffee. "

6. Out of the goodness of my heart, I'll invite you in.

7. We'll talk for a while. Then it'll get later, quieter.

8. You'll ask me if my radio works. I'll say, "Yeah. "

9. You'll put on a soft music station, we'll start dancing around the kitchen.

10. As we dance, you'll take a chance. You'll give me a kiss right here.

11. - I'm not that kind of guy. - Shut up and listen.

12. You give me a kiss and a nibble on the ear.

13. - Which ear? - Your choice.

14. I respond reluctantly which makes you crazy.

15. I'm Ernie Pantusso. I'll tell you what happened last week on "Cheers".

16. I'm good at explaining things. I was a baseball coach.

17. Let me illustrate. You may remember me from my playing days.

18. I hold the record for the most times hit by a pitch.

19. That's as good as a hit. Anyway, where was I?

20. Last week on "Cheers", this fellow Semenko came into the bar.

21. He's a very famous artist. While he was here, he saw Diane and he got an idea.

22. He decided to paint her. He thought she was special.

23. Diane loved the idea. She'd heard of him and thought he was good,

24. and Diane's very smart.

25. The trouble is, when Sam met this artist Semenko, he hated him.

26. He told him not to paint Diane's picture and to get out.

27. Semenko started to go. Sam left the room. Diane pretended to go along,

28. but went behind Sam's back.

29. Wait. This is starting to look like a diagram for our old double steal.

30. When the pitcher goes into his wind-up, the runners break for second and third.

31. If they are occupied, second breaks for third.

32. Third goes home. The batter hits to the opposite field

33. so the fielder's play is to home plate. Sorry. This isn't the double steal.

34. These are directions to my daughter's house.

35. I'm wrong again. She moved.

36. Or did she?

37. Anyway, Diane was going behind Sam's back.

38. Wait. I really want you to paint me.

39. What about that malignant growth you call a boyfriend?

40. Once he sees the finished work, he'll forgive me. He'll forgive everything.

41. He'll hate it. And he'll hate you for doing it.

42. So you won't do it?

43. I'll do it for free.

44. I'm worried. I can't remember where my daughter lives.

45. Oh, well, you're up-to-date.

46. It's somewhere in New England. Something Lane or Drive.

47. Listen up, everybody, will you?

48. The picnic is off.

49. - Why is that, Coach? - Lack of interest. I'm calling it quits.

50. Sorry to spoil your picnic.

51. My picnic?

52. You think I was doing this all for me?

53. You think I like sitting out in the dirt and fighting the ants for a chicken leg?

54. I can do that at home.

55. But listen. Forget everything. Forget the picnic, forget my sweat and my work.

56. Forget me.

57. What the heck. I'm going to Coach's picnic.

58. Stick my name up there too, will you, Taffy?

59. Pathetic-old-man bit, Carla, works like a charm.

60. Afternoon, everybody.

61. - What's up, Normie? - The temperature under my collar.

62. - What's the matter? - The Hungry Heifer Restaurant again.

63. - It's the pits. - You went back? I thought you hated it.

64. - I got lured back, Surf and Turf Special. - What's that? Lobster and steak?

65. Tuna fish sandwich with beef gravy.

66. Diane is late again today.

67. You know, she's been late every day this week.

68. Ever since Sammy threw Semenko out.

69. I could have told Sammy a lot about that guy.

70. He's a real headcase.

71. And like all artists worthy of the name, the man is a homosexual.

72. You think everyone a bit different is gay.

73. - I've given you the benefit of the doubt. - You think all artists are gay?

74. Absolutely. If you don't believe me, I'll bring down this book from home.

75. "Nude Male Statuary". You tell me after looking at those pictures

76. that the guys who chiselled those lads aren't light on the loafers.

77. It's wonderful.

78. Really. It is.

79. Damn it! I've run out of talent.

80. I'm worthless.

81. I'm a dog.

82. Stick a knife between my shoulder blades.

83. Please. You do this every day.

84. - Today it's different. I've really lost it. - Is there anything I can do?

85. - Well, there is one thing. - Anything. What?

86. Let's go to bed.

87. You want to... make love?

88. No, I always take a nap with a blonde in the afternoon.

89. I don't know what to say. We have a professional relationship.

90. Afterwards, you can pay me.

91. I make love to everything I paint.

92. You're most famous painting is of the Harvard-Yale football game.

93. Yes, I spent three months in jail.

94. College types don't understand me.

95. I do, however, still get a few Christmas cards.

96. You're a very talented man.

97. If we had met at a different time...

98. Wait a minute. The problem is not my talent, it's you.

99. You've lost your agony. You've lost that sense of anguish that drew me to you.

100. I'm sorry. What should I do to get unhappy?

101. Why don't you go see what Bullwinkle's doing?

102. - Don't call him that. - Who?

103. I know to whom you are referring.

104. You're always making remarks about him.

105. - I don't like that. You don't know him. - I know him better than you do.

106. What a prize!

107. Stop.

108. I admit, Sam and I are very different people.

109. Sometimes that's good. Sometimes it's not so good.

110. Sometimes he makes me cry.

111. Sometimes he hurts me and seems to like it.

112. That's it. It's back. The torment is back.

113. And with it, my brilliance!

114. - I'll put some coffee on. - Never mind. I'm done.

115. What?

116. I love it.

117. So will Sam. He will.

118. I got it. My problems are solved.

119. An exploding pizza for Diane?

120. No. That's good, but no.

121. Remember how she was disappointed that I wouldn't let Smirnoff paint her?

122. - Insists he's a great artist. - We know what that means.

123. I've got something to cheer her up.

124. Someone did a painting from photos that weren't good enough for Laughing Boy.

125. - Where did you get it? - Saw it in an ad in the TV guide.

126. The one with the cover story about the ten cutest sitcom kids.

127. Interesting reading.

128. This guy takes an ordinary photograph and he turns it into a work of art.

129. You ready for this?

130. Good one, Sammy!

131. Even I think that's tacky.

132. Real jerky.

133. I knew that.

134. Don't you worry about me. I knew that.

135. - A real work of art there. - This is great, actually.

136. I was afraid she might think I was serious,

137. but I see now that the humour of this isn't wasted on anybody.

138. It's the most powerful statements of melancholy I've seen

139. and Sam will appreciate that it's atrabilious yet not a bit lugubrious.

140. If you think Sam's gonna love this painting,

141. you're crazier than I'm accused of being.

142. Go ahead and show it to him.

143. Goodbye.

144. You're not coming to the bar to show it?

145. No. But say hi to all the gang for me.

146. Besides, I think you should be alone with Mortimer tomorrow.

147. Don't call him that, and why should I be alone with him?

148. Because it's the last time you'll ever see him.

149. Hi, Carla. Sorry I'm late.

150. - What's that? - The large package is a portrait of me.

151. It's that weirdo artist Sam threw out.

152. - I know what you been doing. - You figured it out.

153. Of course. It's all so obvious.

154. I've been late a lot this week. You've had to do a lot of extra work. Here.

155. - What is it? - It's a gift.

156. My way of saying you did something nice for me. And I thank you.

157. Hey, that's beautiful.

158. - You can wear it with your purple outfit. - I probably can!

159. It's polite to express gratitude when one is given a gift.

160. Yeah, right.

161. Damn, I love that thing too.

162. - Carla, keep it. - Good.

163. - Where's Sam? - In the back.

164. Why don't you take the day off? I'll cover.

165. I owe it to you. Join the picnic.

166. OK. I know what you're doing. I see what you're up to.

167. You're doing all this just to get me to say that thing that people say

168. when other people do them favours.

169. - You don't have to say it. Go. - I don't? Thank you.

170. I have to punish my tongue.

171. - Hey, babe. What's up? - This.

172. - What's that? - It's a painting of me.

173. It was that Semenko guy. You went behind my back.

174. I told you I didn't want you to do this. You knew how I felt and did it.

175. Let's not talk until after you look.

176. I don't want to look. I want an explanation.

177. - This is my explanation. - Fine. I'll look at the damn thing.

178. - Don't look in that frame of mind. - Tough.

179. You're upset. I don't want you to look until your mind is open.

180. It's filled with animosity to Phillip and me.

181. It is not. My mind is completely empty.

182. I'm not going to have you look until you calm down.

183. You're crazy. First you tell me you want me to look at it, now you won't let me.

184. You can look. I just have to see some evidence of calmness.

185. I'm calm, Diane.

186. - No, you're not. - I am calm.

187. No, you're not.

188. I'm calm. If I were any more calm, I would be dead.

189. Your jaw muscles are quivering.

190. I get that way when I'm about to look at art. Now, come on.

191. - We'll do this later. - Fine.

192. I don't want anything to distract you from this painting.

193. When you see it, you'll understand and forgive.

194. - What happens if I hate it? - You know you're going to love it.

195. Because in the last six months, you've made so much progress.

196. You sound like you're talking about a chimp.

197. I push the buttons and out pops a banana?

198. That's a ludicrous comparison.

199. There isn't a chimp alive who could keep up with you.

200. I hate when you do this. You tell poor Sam what he should like.

201. What he shouldn't like. How he should walk. What fork to use with soup.

202. I know. You don't use a fork with soup. It was a mistake.

203. Do not say, "You don't use a fork with soup. "

204. Do not say, "You don't use a fork with soup. "

205. - My God. I've made you a babbling idiot. - Who are you calling a babbling idiot?

206. Don't get upset. I'm criticising myself.

207. You call me a babbling idiot and you're criticising yourself?

208. Let me criticise me for a while. You're sickening.

209. I should have known.

210. I tried to convince myself that you... That I'm... That we're...

211. This relationship has always been a contest of wills. I give up.

212. All my rage has gone. Maybe everything has gone.

213. I see what you're doing. You don't wanna fight because I'm winning.

214. I hammered you good. I've won a lot. I just never mentioned it before.

215. - Yeah, come on. - I'm leaving. I find this very tiresome.

216. You're not leaving yet. Not till we've had a brouhaha.

217. Brew on your own haha.

218. I tell you, I'm through. I'm empty.

219. The only thing empty about you is your head.

220. You leave and I'll be crawling with chicks by sundown.

221. Wait. I'm not through yet.

222. You want that? Watch this. I'm gonna do it too.

223. I'm gonna do this.

224. All right. Wait! I'm saving my best for last!

225. Ready for my best? This is my best shot.

226. My God.

227. Childish.

228. It's degrading to me, to you. To the human race.

229. This doesn't bother me at all.

230. Stop it!

231. - Gotcha. I win again. - I want you to know something.

232. Since knowing you, I've said to myself, "One day, we'll get down to the real you. "

233. Well, we did it.

234. Do you know what the difference is between you and a fat, braying ass?

235. The fat, braying ass would.

236. Speaking of fat, braying asses, you're about to get dumped on yours.

237. How dare you slap me?

238. - Don't you ever hit me again. - Like hell.

239. You always think you've gotta get the last one in. All right. Come on.

240. - Please, let go. - You first.

241. All right. On the count of three.

242. One, two, three. Now.

243. - You're not letting go. - You're squeezing harder.

244. Because you're not letting go.

245. I'm not letting go cos you're squeezing harder. Come on.

246. This is it. We have sunk as low as human beings can sink.

247. There's no degradation left.

248. - Are you OK? - Do I look OK?

249. Actually, you look a little like Rudolph.

250. Come to me, my sweet little reindeer. Your big old stag's in town.

251. - Don't touch me. - Come on.

252. - You hit me! - Well, not hard.

253. What does that mean, not hard?

254. It means not as hard as I wanted to.

255. - I'm leaving. - Wait. You're not leaving yet.

256. - Not until I say one more thing. - What?

257. Get the hell outta here.

258. You are about to cross a dangerous line.

259. You heard me. I want you out.

260. If this is coming out of the heat of the moment, it is a bad mistake.

261. - One you will never be able to correct. - Out.

262. Because if I go, I am never, ever coming back.

263. Can I get that in writing?

264. Damn, I only got pencils. I'd like this in ink.

265. Don't joke, Sam. I mean it.

266. And I want you to understand. If you don't stop me now,

267. this is the last time you'll ever see me.

268. Fine.

269. Hey, Diane.

270. This is it.

271. This is it.

272. Goodbye.

273. Goodbye.

274. English