1. Cliffie, don't look now, but there are two
chicks at the end of the bar staring at us.
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2. You're crazy.
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3. They been staring for 20 minutes.
Do we look weird?
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4. - You do.
- Why?
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5. Cos you're talking
out of the side of your mouth.
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6. They can't take their eyes off us.
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7. There's only one way to be sure.
Toodle down the end of the bar
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8. and see if their eyes follow us.
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9. So are they looking?
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10. I'd say those supple young petunias
definitely want us.
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11. - So what do we do now?
- Just take a walk over there.
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12. I will if you will.
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13. On second thoughts,
why don't we play it cool?
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14. - We let them come to us.
- Those babes are really hot for us.
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15. - That's it, folks. Closing time.
- Here they come, moving in for the kill.
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16. Excuse me.
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17. My friend and I were wondering
if you knew a late-night spot to go to.
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18. Some place a little fun.
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19. What was that?
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20. These guys are Martians.
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21. - Come on. They're nerds.
- Their loss.
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22. Well, they've gone now.
You can turn off the charm.
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23. You were a real smoothy yourself.
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24. Listen to Cary Grant.
That was humiliating.
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25. What difference does it make?
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26. They weren't that good-looking anyway.
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27. Absolutely. We almost took the
midnight train to Bow-Wow City.
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28. You're right.
I've seen better legs on a pool table.
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29. You could use that chest
for a straightedge.
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30. - Put a bag over your head.
- Or a gunny sack. It'll cover more.
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31. Great eats, Diane. Thanks.
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32. Did you enjoy your rognons
de veau aux chanterelles?
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33. Was that the green stuff?
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34. No. That was the brown stuff.
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35. Good. That green stuff
kind of repeats on you.
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36. - I'm dreadfully sorry.
- Quite all right.
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37. Well, I am gonna check some scores out
on the tube here, I think.
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38. You know, I went to a lot of trouble
with this meal.
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39. So did I.
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40. I'm joking. It was wonderful.
Thank you very much.
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41. It's a pleasure to cook for a gourmand.
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42. - Sam, what's happening to us?
- Are you repeating too?
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43. A little,
but that's not what I'm talking about.
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44. We're becoming humdrum. Routine.
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45. I tell you what. After my meal
settles here, I'll attack you.
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46. Well, you may be in the mood
earlier than you think.
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47. Make yourself comfortable. I'll take care
of something in the other room.
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48. - Who's there?
- Me. Who's there?
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49. - Coach?
- No, I'm Coach.
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50. - What are you doing here, Coach?
- At least we got that straight.
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51. We almost had the most incredible
disaster. Look at this TV guide.
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52. "Thunder Road".
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53. Mitchum. We haven't missed a Mitchum
movie together in over 12 years.
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54. - We don't wanna miss the beginning.
- Mitchum won't start without us.
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55. - We're gonna need munchies.
- Diane's got some.
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56. While you're up, turn down the lights.
There's a terrible glare on the screen.
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57. Take me, you barbarian.
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58. You're gonna miss "Thunder Road".
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59. - What happened?
- Nothing yet. They're going up the road.
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60. No, with Diane.
Hey, Diane, you all right?
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61. What is Coach doing here?
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62. He's watching "Thunder Road". We
always watch Mitchum movies together.
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63. It's a bad time right now.
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64. I know, but it's a tradition
that goes back with us for years.
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65. He's our favourite actor.
Never do we miss his movies.
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66. I came out of the bedroom and I was so
embarrassed with how I was dressed.
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67. Come in here. I'll show you what I mean.
Come on.
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68. Coach, scram. Out.
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69. What?
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70. - What's wrong?
- Sam.
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71. - A little tact.
- I'm sorry. Coach, listen.
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72. What?
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73. Diane and I had this special evening
going here.
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74. She just fixed me a meal
with all my favourite colours.
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75. Changed into something frilly.
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76. And I come barging in.
I wasn't even thinking.
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77. Diane, forgive me. I never
wanted to get in your way.
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78. Thank you for understanding.
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79. When you live alone,
you forget other people have lives.
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80. - Are you feeling what I'm feeling?
- Yeah. Poor Coach.
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81. We have so many hours together,
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82. I guess it's kind of selfish
not to spend a little time with him.
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83. - You're right. I'll get him.
- Bet you can catch him on the steps.
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84. - Why are you standing there?
- My coat got caught in the door.
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85. I didn't have the heart
to bother you again. Good night.
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86. No, Coach, come here. Listen.
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87. You are gonna watch "Thunder Road"
with us. Sit down.
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88. - You mean it?
- You bet. Come on over.
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89. I've never seen it.
Tell me what's happened.
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90. I know every line in this picture.
Here's my favourite part.
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91. When I'm in charge of the bar,
I know what God feels like.
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92. - How's that?
- I'm in control of people's destinies.
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93. I can make their drinks too strong
so they get sick.
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94. Or I can water them down
so they pay for nothing.
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95. Or if I don't like their attitudes,
I can spit in it.
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96. You're not still upset about that argument
we had the other day?
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97. You tell me.
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98. I'm sorry about this morning
when I called you a sawed-off witch.
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99. I'm Sam Malone. Maybe you remember
me before we became a threesome.
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100. Yes, I recognise you now.
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101. - You shaved off your Pantusso.
- That's it.
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102. - I know.
- I can't take it any more.
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103. - We never go anyplace without Coach.
- I don't invite him. He just shows up.
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104. - What are we gonna do?
- Right now, we're gonna sit in my office.
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105. We're gonna look into
each other's eyes, all alone.
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106. That sounds so wonderful.
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107. Where have you been?
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108. Coach, I'm sorry. I overslept.
We were up late last night watching...
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109. - "Mothra Versus Godzilla".
- Was I disappointed in that.
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110. We've got to draw the line. No way
can we spend the evening with Coach.
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111. You're absolutely right.
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112. Are we gonna get together tonight?
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113. - You bet.
- Great.
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114. All right. There's only one solution
to this problem.
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115. We have to tell the Coach
to stop hanging around with us.
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116. Diane's right. Tell Coach you don't want
him around. That's the honest approach.
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117. Or to make it easier on Coach, rip out
his heart and do a tap-dance on it.
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118. - I got it here.
- What?
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119. Make him think you got a bad disease.
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120. Get real skinny, and you paint
your faces white and pasty.
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121. Walk around looking like
you're gonna throw up.
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122. You'd better hurry up.
Diane's got a head start.
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123. Coach likes you guys. Take him
off our hands for tonight, please.
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124. We don't want Coach getting in
the way when we're hustling chicks.
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125. Sorry I asked.
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126. It's against my beliefs to help things go
smoothly with the squawk box there,
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127. but since Coach is involved,
I'm gonna bend the rules.
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128. I know he has a crush
on a teller at his bank.
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129. - Are you sure?
- He talks about her a lot.
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130. I don't know her name,
but she could take him off your hands.
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131. That's good. What do you say?
It's worth a try.
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132. I think Coach would be
embarrassed by a blind date.
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133. We'll pretend she's my friend
and it'll look like a chance meeting.
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134. Coach,
maybe you can help me out here.
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135. - I want a new bank. You like yours?
- I love it. Bay Harbor Savings and Loan.
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136. - Do you like the tellers?
- They're terrific.
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137. Is there one I should talk to?
Friendly, nice, cute?
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138. Frank.
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139. Who's the one you always talk to?
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140. Redhead with a nice smile
who always winks?
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141. - Yeah.
- That's Frank.
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142. Isn't there a woman
that you like at the bank there?
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143. Edwina.
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144. Edwina at Bay Harbor
Savings and Loan?
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145. - She's a friend of mine.
- Then you should know Frank.
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146. They're married.
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147. No. Who's the one you said
was a nice lady last Thursday?
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148. - Thursday. Stella.
- Stella. That's my friend.
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149. No, not Stella.
I'm not too crazy about Stella.
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150. - I meant Dorothy.
- Yes, so did I.
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151. - Dorothy is the one you like, right?
- She's very nice.
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152. Excuse me.
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153. But not as nice as Julia.
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154. That's the grocery store.
At the bank, nobody beats Sandra.
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155. Sandra. That's my friend.
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156. - What is it?
- Not Sandra, it's Anita.
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157. I'll take this.
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158. - Wrong girl, Coach?
- No. Wrong bank.
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159. Well, Katherine,
didn't you love that meal?
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160. It was very nice.
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161. I'm glad we had Coach along.
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162. An Italian knows what to order
in an Italian restaurant.
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163. It was wonderful.
What was that dish called?
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164. Spaghetti for four. They've got a better
one, though, spaghetti for six,
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165. but you need more people.
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166. I'll make coffee.
Make yourselves at home.
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167. There you go.
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168. You know something? I can't get over
the fact Diane knew Katherine,
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169. my favourite teller at First Fidelity.
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170. Well, it's a small world, I guess, Coach.
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171. And she seems to know everybody
in every bank I've dealt with.
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172. You know how friendly she is.
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173. How did you and Katherine
come to meet?
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174. - The loan desk.
- The drop...
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175. That's all right, honey. Sometimes
I forget things too. Or do I?
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176. Coach, you tickle me.
Are you always this funny?
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177. I doubt it.
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178. So, Katherine, what's new and exciting
in the world of high finance?
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179. Nothing that I know of.
My most exciting moment
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180. is catching someone playing
with their lips on closed circuit TV.
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181. I knew you looked familiar.
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182. Hang on a moment.
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183. Well, I think banking is fascinating.
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184. There are so many facets.
So many things I've wondered about.
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185. - Me too, you know?
- Like what?
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186. Tellers never tell you anything.
They always ask questions.
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187. There's nothing interesting
about interest. It's boring.
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188. The trust department have pens chained
to tables. What kind of trust is that?
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189. - There he goes again. You're too much.
- A little giddy, but nice.
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190. Look at the time. I've got to get up
at the crack of dawn.
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191. What a wonderful evening.
I'll take a rain check on coffee.
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192. It is getting kinda late.
Can I see you get home OK?
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193. Thanks. I'd like that.
Good night, Diane. Thank you.
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194. - Good night, Sam.
- Good night.
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195. - Good night. We'll do it again.
- Absolutely.
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196. This shows that sticky situations are
best handled with lies and trickery.
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197. And now for a little romance.
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198. A little hug.
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199. A little kiss.
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200. - A little Coach.
- Excuse me.
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201. I thought you were
gonna show Katherine home.
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202. I showed her where the bus stop is.
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203. You probably didn't notice,
but she had the hots for me.
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204. What's wrong with that?
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205. She's nice, but she doesn't fit in with us.
Like a fourth wheel. I need cookies.
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206. - What do we do now?
- It's time to tell the truth.
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207. - Good.
- I'll handle this.
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208. - Coach, get out here.
- Want one?
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209. No. Listen.
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210. I'm gonna tell you something, and
I don't care if it hurts your feelings.
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211. What is it?
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212. Diane doesn't want you
hanging around us any more.
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213. What? That's not true. Sam doesn't want
you around. I love having you around.
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214. I love having him around more than you.
I'd rather have him around than you.
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215. - Well, fine.
- Don't sneak around me like this.
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216. All right. Please stop.
Kids, hold on, please.
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217. I'm beginning to see the light here.
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218. - You don't have the guts to tell me.
- I do, Diane doesn't.
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219. What is it? Say it.
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220. Come on. Say it.
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221. When you were a drunk and nobody
told you, I told you, didn't I?
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222. - Over and over again.
- You really were a drunk.
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223. I know.
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224. - I mean, you were really a drunk.
- Don't start again.
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225. Is our friendship so weak that we can't
come out tell each other the truth?
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226. You're right.
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227. We just don't want you
hanging around us so much.
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228. If you don't want me, it's fine.
I'm not mad.
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229. It's fine. I'll see you.
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230. But you really were a drunk.
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231. - Morning, Norm.
- Where the heck have you been?
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232. - Is my watch fast?
- Sorry. We had a difficult evening.
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233. We had to tell Coach
we didn't want to see him any more.
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234. It was terrible. Worse than we feared.
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235. We spent half the night arguing
about who was to blame.
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236. - Morning, everybody.
- How are you today, Norman?
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237. As if you cared.
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238. Coach didn't take well
to getting the old heave-ho.
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239. He was destroyed. He tried to cover,
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240. but there was no masking the pain
Sam inflicted on his deepest being.
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241. Don't start again.
You did most of the talking.
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242. What difference does it make who did it?
The point is Coach has been crushed.
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243. We have to live with that.
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244. Especially you.
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245. - It was your idea. You insisted.
- That's the most...
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246. Listen. I wanna know
which one of you two kids
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247. got the idea to throw me out last night.
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248. Come on. I wanna know right now.
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249. Come on. What difference does it make
whose fault it was?
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250. It's done.
We both have to share the blame.
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251. Yes, the important thing is
that we showed you our feelings.
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252. - Honesty was our only recourse.
- Absolutely. It was a mutual decision.
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253. Whoever it was, I wanna thank
them from the bottom of my heart.
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254. Because I caught up with Katherine
at the bus stop
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255. and I took her home, got to know her
and she's the most wonderful woman.
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256. I haven't been this happy in years.
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257. That's wonderful.
You don't know how happy we are.
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258. And the fact that we had anything to do
with it makes this feel even better.
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259. Absolutely. Just think of it as the two of
us being able to do something for you.
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260. Say, Normie,
aren't they a wonderful couple?
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261. English
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